All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S03E10.Sebastien.Raine.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-NTb

(Birds chirp)

- Family!
I have exciting news!

Oh Good. David,
I'd hoped you were home.

- Thanks.

- You're aware of
the extraordinary work

of New York-Based photographer
Sebastien Raine?

- You mean my Ex?

- When did you date
Sebastien Raine?

- They dated for like
a month and a half

and David got very upset
about it.

- Okay, It was
almost three months.

Four, if you include
the month

that he was seeing
other people.

And you met him through me.

- That's nonsense.

I met Sebastien Raine
at an art opening years ago.

- At my gallery.

And can you please
stop saying his full name.

He's a monster, who uses people,

and leaves them for dead.
- Yeah.

- I hate to play contrarian,
David, but The Times and I,

both consider Sebastien Raine
a dear friend.

- Remember when he dumped you?

And you ate all those mall
pretzels,

and watched
"Bridget Jones's Diary"

every day for a year.

- It wasn't a whole year,

And I will not feel shame
about the mall pretzels.

- Okay, that's enough
news for today.

- Um no, what about him?

- He's coming here.

- What? Wha-- Why?

- Sebastien Raine wants to
collaborate on a project.

With me.

And you his commitment
to his work.

He's willing to
come all the way here.

When flying me to New York
would be a lot easier.

And a welcome escape.

But Sebastien Raine
puts his subjects first.

And he told me
I must respect that.

- Okay. You know what?
I don't care.

So you can do whatever you like.

- I could cancel,

but you've just told me
you don't care

so now I have no choice
but to meet him.

♪ ♪

(Door opens)

- I think he's coming.

So could you please go to
the window and check for me?

- Who's he?

- Uh, Sebastien Raine.

He's most likely wearing
a very expensive sweater,

that doesn't look very
expensive.

- Is he like, really--

- Really handsome in a
homeless-y way sory of way? Yes.

- Yeah. Then he is
coming here.

- Oh, he is? Okay.

- He's walking.
- He's walking.

- He's walking towards here.
- Where is he walking to?

- And now he's coming in
- Now he's coming in...

- and so he's here.
(Door opens)

- He's here. All right.

- David.

- Oh...
- Wow. This is...

exactly how I pictured it.

- Sebastien.

Ah... You're-you're here.

I thought you were supposed
to be with my mother.

- So good to see you.

Look at you...
You look really...

healthy.

- Thanks.

- I can't believe
this is where you live.

I think you're brave.

- Hi.

Stevie.

I like your sweater.

- You must be David's
girlfriend.

- No...
- No. No, I own The Motel,

so that makes me more
like your landlord?

- No. It doesn't.

- Stevie, Stevie. Stevie.

I'd love to Polaroid you
naked one day.

- Okay.

- Okay?!

- David, I'm thinking maybe
I'll stay the night,

so I hope we can, you know...
catch up.

- Yeah, I'm super busy
these days...

- Yeah, I just feel like we
have unfinished business,

you and I.

- Room five is available.

- Room five sounds great.

So brave.

- Hm-hm.

So brave.
- Okay.

♪ ♪

(Door opens)

(Dishes clatter)
(Motown music plays)

- Moira!

- Sebastien Raine!

Hello!
- Ohhh!

(Kisses)

- (Giggles)

Is this place not funny?

I think it might just be one
of my favorite local dives.

- I love it.
It's just so unassertive.

- You can't find this
in New York City.

- New York misses you, Moira.

- (Sighs) You're too kind.

And correct. (Chuckles)

Tell me things, Sebastien.

Tell me everything!

- Well, I just got back
from London.

I was touring with Madonna.

She commissioned a series
of anti-portraits.

- Whoa.

Well, it sounds brilliant.

- I want to do something even
more brilliant with you, Moira.

- Hm.

- Come, let's walk.

Creativity lives on its feet.

Anything else is bullshit.

- I just ordered you
a sanka-ccino.

- (Sighs)

- It's a beautiful day.

- And you're a beautiful
subject.

- Sebastien, I must insist
you stop with the flattery...

In due time.

(Motown music plays)
(Dishes clank)

(Bus whooshes by)

- So I have a quick little
school form

for you to fill out.

- Sure. What is this?

- Um, nothing. It just says
that I work here.

- Uh-huh. This is for
volunteer hours.

But you don't volunteer here.

You work here.

- But, I volunteer
to work here.

- Because it's your job.

- Okay but, I need these hours
to graduate so...

- So looks like you're gonna
have to find

somewhere to volunteer.

- Okay. It's just, I thought my
community service hours

would apply but they
don't count

because their court-ordered.
So...

- Yeah, I think the whole point
of volunteering

is to give something back,
right?

- Okay. Sure. But whatever
I give back

has to happen within two weeks.

- Well, I might have something
for you,

but I don't think you're
going to be interested.

- Try me.

- Well, I work with some
seniors a couple times a month.

- Wow. So cute.

Um, it's just I have a thing
with skin tags and old smells.

So I might just need
to think on it.

- Well, tonight's gonna be fun
though, dance lessons!

(Fake elated gasp)

- We'd have to touch them.

(Dishes being clank)
(Low hum of diner chatter)

- Oh psst. Hey Johnny!

Come here! Come here!
Come here!

- Hey Roland.
- Here sit down. Sit. Sit!

Okay. Now act like
you're talking to me.

- I am talking to you.

- No. Not like that.

It's got to be more
conversational.

You know, like, um...

"Yes the weather is cold."

- Okay, I'm not following.

- Okay, that's better.

But try it a little
more casually.

- What is going on?

- Bob is trying to get
his poker night together again

and he wants me to play.

And I can't afford it.

- Well then just say no,
politely decline.

- Well, that's not gonna work,
Johnny.

Here... Tell him that...

we're doing something
together tonight, okay?

Tell him you're taking me
for a haircut tonight.

- Haircut?
- Hey Johnny.

- Roland.
- Oh, Bob.

- Almost didn't see you there.
- Right.

I was just chattin' away
with Johnny.

- Well, I just wanted
to let you know that

we're starting the big poker
night again,

so if you're interested...

- Uh well...

- I wouldn't mind playing, Bob.

- Really?
- Well...

- That's great! (Chuckles)

- Well, listen I'll see you
both at my place,

uh... around seven.

- Seven o'clock.

- Can I ask you something?

Um, do you have even
the slightest concept

of what just happened here?

(Crickets chirp)
(Birds sing)

- Oh!

It is so nice to get away.
- Hm.

- There's something
very cathartic

about stepping into
someone else's world.

- Hm.

That's one of the reasons
we chose to settle here.

- David seems well.
- Well he...

Excuse me?

- I ran into him earlier
at the motel.

- At the motel?

And here I thought
I gave you

very specific instructions

to go directly to the cafe.

Ever the renegade.

- Yeah, I got here and decided
it was probably best

to get a room.

Only a day just didn't
seem enough.

- You got yourself a room?

Oh, aren't you lucky!

They're usually booked up.

You must have used our name.

But Sebastien, I was under
the impression

that you were here just for
today for a quick consult...

(Shutter clicks)
Hey! What are you doing?

- Sorry, it's the way the light
is catching you.

The photo took itself.

- Ah, but you had to
push the button.

Sebsatien don't, please.

This is my talk now,
shoot later look.

So this visage is off-limits
for-for the moment.

(Camera shutter clicks)
Plea--

- Don't worry, I'm just using
you for scale.

It's this backdrop.

There's a provincial
romanticism to all this,

that's just...

terrifying and important.

- Far be it from me
to stand in the way

of your inspiration.

- Well, why don't you actually
stand over there?

- Where?

- Further into the field.
- Oh...

- Yes!

No, into the field.

Further!
- Huh?

- Yeah, into the field.
- Umm?

- Yes. Further!

- Sebastien, I was...

- Let the field
reveal itself to you.

- Okay... I was wondering

when we do the actual shoot...
um...

Are we thinking studio
or on location?

Because I bet Mr. Schnabel

would love to loan us
the Palazzo...

(Camera shutter clicks)
- Yes!

- Okay. As long as you can
still hear me.

(Chuckles) I was also thinking
Berlin...

♪ ♪

(Door shuts)

- Oh hi!

- Nice day with Sebastaien?

- Very productive.

I think we've laid
the groundwork

for an exciting enterprise.

- I'm sure you'll be
a wonderful subject.

- Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

Today was more about discussing
theme,

and tone, mise en scene.

- Uh-huh.

- You know, he may have taken
a few reference photos, but...

- So he photographed you
today then?

- Hm-hm. You know just a few
dozens snaps about town...

picturettes, really.

- Why would you
have allowed this to happen?

- I don't know
he just started shooting

and shouting and I did
what he told me to do

and I "leaned in"
to the moment.

- How did that work
out for you?

- I leaned in!
I don't know, David.

Why don't you try it...
sometime!

(Exhales loudly)

(Crickets chirp)

- Everybody, I'd like
to introduce Alexis,

she's going to be
joining us tonight.

So that way we'll all
have partners.

- That's great!

Dot, you won't
need the Swiffer.

- I guess I'll be
dancing with Ted.

- I thought Carol assigns
the dance partners.

- We'll all get a chance
to dance with Ted.

Everyone up!

Come on.

- This is actually very cute.

Although I did think that
there would be more of them.

- Yeah, well there used to be,
but... you know.

- Oh, okay,

but these ones actually
smell like very clean,

like baby powder.

- Yeah, I think
it's probably better

if you call the girls
by their names.

- Ted, could you give me a hand
with these chairs here?

- Of course!

- We've heard a lot about you.

- That is so sweet.

- Why would he bring her here?

- Are you talking about me?

- You can be my dance partner,
dear.

(Big Band Music)

- Dot.

♪ ♪

- Does Dot have arthritis?

Because it looks like
she's giving me the finger.

- Well, she has arthritis,

but not in that hand.

Bob: Full house.
Read 'em and weep.

- And I think I come in second

because I got a pair of Queens.

- There's no second place,
Roland.

- Well, you were right about
Bob. He's quite the player.

- (Chuckles)

I'll go see if Gwen's
has any more of these

bacon-wrapped scallops.

- Yeah, I guess it's another
trip to Bob's laundromat, right?

You know, because he keeps
taking us to the cleaners.

- Yeah, we get it, Roland.

- I don't think
it's an accident

that Bob keeps winning.

- What are you talking about?

- Haven't you noticed
how Gwen circles the table

with appetizers,
constantly eyeing Bob.

And then he lays down
a big fat bet and wins.

- You know, come to think of it,

those matching visors
they're a little suspicious

- I don't want to believe this,

But ah, I do miss my wristwatch.

- I just think it'd be
interesting to see what happens

if Gwen wasn't around
for the next hand.

- Ahhh. Like if she had an
"accident" or something?

- I don't mean
bump her off, Roland.

I mean, if she's not here,

if she had to go to the store.

I want to see how
Bob's luck gonna hold

if when Gwen's not here.

- It's worth a shot.

- Okay, uh, do you want me
to handle this?

I'm pretty good
in high-stakes situations.

- No. I think, I've got it.

- Okay. Well, I'll ride shotgun
with you.

- So Bob. Were just talking
about how delicious the food is

and you know the only thing
missing is...

- Gwen's gotta go!

- I think what Roland
is saying is...

if she could maybe go
to the store

to perhaps pick up some
a little more...

- Kosher?

- And hallal.

- Gwen, you called it!

- Yeah. Sure. Sure.
That would do it.

- Yeah and some gluten-free
options, for the ladies.

- Oh Gosh,

I'm sorry I didn't
think of this.

But you know, maybe...
maybe Roland could go?

He's running pretty low
on chips.

- Sure. I can drive.

- I don't think
you want to drive, Roland.

- I don't mind. I love driving.

- I don't think you do.

- Yeah, I don't love driving.
Not at night. No!

And I'm drunk.

- Okay.

- I'm all right, dear.
I could go.

- Thanks, sweetheart.

- Good. All right,
so my deal.

(Crickets cirp)
(Knock on door)

- David.

I'm glad you're here. Come in.

- Um yeah,
I was just getting a drink...

by the uh... the vending
machine... so...

- I had a prolific day
with your mother today.

- Yes she said.

- Very excited about the shoot.

The photos are really haunting.

- Haunting.

Sure she'd be thrilled
about that adjective.

Umm, she told me
this little trip

was supposed to be more
of a creative discussion.

- David, your Mother
is a revelation.

This is the way she was meant
to be presented to the world.

- I'm sorry.

Is this you deciding what
someone else wants again?

- (Exhales)

I-I want you to know
that I care

about what happened
between you and me.

And while my therapist said
I should never feel sorrow,

I do appreciate your pain.

- Okay.

- And I wanna explore that.

- Uh-huh.

- Maybe... even...

physically.

- Oh...

Well, I shouldn't.

- Oh you should.

- Okay, fine,

but um, I can't stay.

(Slow Jazz tune plays)

- Um, okay...

Joan, I'm probably wrong,

but I feel like the other
ladies are very...

unsoothed by the fact
that I'm here.

- Oh they are, but don't worry.

It's just that we've just
all grown very fond Of Ted.

- Oh well... we're not dating.

But I do understand
that old women

can get very possessive
about young... younger...

- Dear, we know all about
the failed engagements.

But don't worry,

I'm not going to rake you
over the coals to find out

how on earth you ever let
that one get away. Or why?

- Okay...

- It's none of my business

and I'm sure you
have your reasons.

I'd just want to
know what they are?

- Ooh. Aggressive move, Joan.

- Well, I've been trying to set
Ted up with my granddaughter

for two years now. And nothing.

- Do you want me to
put in a good word?

- It wouldn't matter.
And you know why?

- Is she not cute?

- She's not you.

You must know that
Ted is still stuck on you.

- I think you ladies
are just a little bit confused.

Ted and I are just
very close friends.

- Hm.

My husband and I were really
close friends for 52 years.

♪ ♪

- Mind if I cut in?

- Oh, yeah.

But I'm also happy to keep
dancing with one of them.

- No, I meant I could
dance with Joan.

Just the ladies
get pretty upset

if I don't divide my time
between them.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah...

Uh... Well then I will dance
with Dot!

- I would rather dance
with the Swiffer.

- Okay...

(Slow Jazz tune plays)

- Oh, I can't believe I took
that with three sevens.

- Well, I guess it wasn't Gwen,
was it, Johnny?

- Sorry?

- Nothing, nothing, Bob.

- Well, uh,
Johnny had this theory

that Gwen and you were...

Johnny, why don't you tell Bob
your theory.

(Crickets chirp)

- Well, Uh...

- You thought we were cheating?

- No! No... I...

- No offence, but I don't need
to cheat to beat any of you.

- It's just, you win a lot, Bob.

- And there's a reason for that.

Listen now Ronnie, when you-
when you have a good hand,

you close your cards real quick.

And Ray, when you've got
a bad hand,

you start tapping your foot.

And Johnny your right eyebrow
kind of just pops up

And Roland...
well, you know...

I don't even know
if you know the rules.

- I don't know all of them. No.

- Well you know, truth is

we put most of the winnings
towards the snacks

that Gwen serves up.

We thought it was kind of a
speical evening for everyone.

- In my defence, I didn't
believed any of this, Bob.

(Foot tapping)
Gwen is very trustworthy.

- Ray, you're tapping
your foot.

- Okay.

♪ ♪

(Kicking thud)

(Door opens)

- Moira
- Good morning, Sebastien.

I was up all night evaluating
our little project

and I've come to the
unfortunate conclusion

that you may have
misrepresented your intentions.

- I wanted to capture
the real Moira Rose.

Does the real Moira Rose
live in a studio?

Or the Palazzo?

- I have. And I will again.

If you're planning to
capitalize on those images--

- You just have to trust me.

With this work you will,
once again,

sit atop the summit
of cultural conversation,

with your inspired unfettering.

- Oh, I'd love to believe you,

but there's a big fat line
between charm and bullshit.

- Give me your camera.
(Door opens)

David?!

- Um, yes Sebastien and I
just had some um,

stuff that we needed
to talk about.

- Well, I'm having
a hard time landing

on surprise or betrayal.

- Yeah, I should probably go.
So...

- Give me the memory card,
Sebastien.

- Moira, I'm scared for us.

- Oh, you mean this memory card?

Yeah, I'd give it back,

but I don't think it'll be
of much use to you.

It accidentally
fell out of your camera

into my hand last night.

And then fell out of my hand
into my drink.

And then I stepped on it a lot.
So...

It was really good to see you,
Sebastien.

Good luck with the
rest of this project.

- David, I feel terrible that
you had to do that just for me.

- It wasn't just for you.

Let's just say we both won.

- Okay folks, we're gonna
start with something

a little different tonight.

The game is called crazy eights.

And the diamond shaped things
are wild.

- Roland, shush.

- Well I'm just glad
we're back here again,

and that we could put all that
unpleasantness behind us.

- Gwen, these Teriyaki
meatballs they're delicious.

- Wow and those sliders
look incredible.

- Those aren't for you.

- How's that watch
working out for you?

- I love it.

- Thanks.

(Rolland teasing quietly)
Johnny...

Johnny...
(Amused chuckle)