All language subtitles for Election.English

Hey, Mr. McAllister.

Not wasting any time,
are you, Tracy?

Well, you know what they
say about the early bird.

Yeah, I do.

Good luck there, Tracy.

- Thanks, Mr. M. I'll see you in class.
- Yup.

None of this would have happened if Mr.
McAllister

hadn't meddled the way he did.

He should have just
accepted things as they are

instead of trying to
interfere with destiny.

You see, you can't
interfere with destiny.

That's why it's destiny. And
if you try and interfere,

the same thing's just
gonna happen anyway

and you'll just suffer.

It's hard to remember how
the whole thing started.

The whole election mess.

What I do remember is
that I loved my job.

I was a teacher, an educator

and I couldn't imagine
doing anything else.

Mr. McAllister? Mr. M.

Quit daydreaming,
get back to work.

The students knew it
wasn't just a job for me.

I got involved.

Put down the cards, boys,
this game is over!

And I cared.

Come on Wolverines! Defense!
Let's go!

And I think I made a difference.

I tried to explain it to him, Mr.
McAllister.

I knew I touched the students' lives
during their difficult, young adult years.

And I took that
responsibility seriously.

In the 12 years I taught U.S.
History,

Civics and Current
Events at Carver,

I was voted teacher of
the year three times.

A school record.

Teaching was all I'd
ever wanted to do.

We will not continue the...

Standing in front of a
room full of young people,

trying to get them
excited about the world.

Trying to make them think.

Preparing them for the tough
moral and ethical decisions

that they'd face as adults.

That's how I wanted
to spend my life.

So, is this a moral situation
or an ethical situation?

What's the difference between
morals and ethics anyway?

Anybody? Derek?

Yeah, ethics is, like, when you do
what society tells you is right to do,

and morals...

Yeah, yeah, you're on the right track.
Can anybody help him out?

Michelle?

Morals are like lessons. You
know, like the moral of a story.

It's what you learn from a
story or a fable or something.

Or a life experience.
Good. And ethics?

Ethics is how you use the morals
that you learn from the story?

Yeah, okay, but I think we're
missing something key here.

What are we missing?

- Tracy.
- Ethics are rules of conduct...

Tracy Flick. Tracy Flick.

I'd seen a lot of ambitious students
come and go over the years,

but Tracy Flick, she
was a special case.

Some people say I'm an overachiever,
but I think they're just jealous.

My mom tells me I'm
different, you know, special.

And if you look at all the
things I've accomplished so far,

I think you'd have to agree.

Here I am as Hodel in
Fiddler on the Roof.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker
I'll bring the veil

You bring the groom

And here I am on KCHS, our
student-run TV station.

...littering must stop!
Tracy Flick reporting.

But it was in the SGA, the
Student Government Association,

where I made my biggest mark. I
never missed a single meeting

and I'd volunteer for every committee,
as long as I could lead it.

I agree with Ashley!

I think we should rent the
barrels ahead of time

because what happened
last time was a travesty!

It was ridiculous and I think it really
reflected poorly on all of us...

Now Tracy Flick was poised to win
the presidency of the student body.

And so far, she was
running unopposed.

...determined by a culture at
a certain time in history.

Oh, there's one more thing about
Tracy I think you should know.

Her pussy gets so wet,
you can't believe it.

Don't tell me that! Don't tell me that!
I don't want to know that.

A few months before the election

she'd gotten herself in a little trouble
with my best friend, Dave Novotny.

Foxy

Dave came to Carver the year after I
did and we hit it off right away.

Dave was one of those
guys who taught

because they never wanted to leave
high school in the first place.

But basically, he
was a good guy.

Our wives became
best friends, too.

And when Dave and Linda's
son, Darryl, was born,

they asked us to
be his godparents.

B to side C...

You probably think the worst.

That Mr. Novotny was taking horrible
advantage of one of his students.

But it wasn't like that at all.

Our relationship was based on
mutual respect and admiration.

I mean, during my sophomore
year in geometry,

it was strictly
professional between us.

I mean, nothing.

It wasn't until junior year, when
we worked together on the yearbook,

that things got kind of serious.

One night he took us editors out
to celebrate after a deadline.

Eventually, Dave and I were left
alone and we got to talking.

Not like teacher and student,
but like two adults.

You know, Tracy,

I noticed that you don't seem to
have any close friends at Carver.

You seem to be kind of a loner.

No, I'm not. I'm just real busy.

Oh, no, I know. I know it's not by choice.
I just mean that...

That, well, being the kind of
person you are, it must be

really difficult for you to
find somebody you can talk to.

What do you mean? What
kind of person am I?

Tracy, you know, I've been watching
you for going on three years now

and I think you are one of the most
talented, hard working, sensitive,

attractive, brilliant students...
No, human beings, I have ever met.

Thank you.

And I know that sometimes people
like you have to pay a price

for their greatness.

And that price is loneliness.

I don't know. Maybe
I'm wrong, but...

It just seems to me like
you might need a friend.

Since I grew up without a dad,

you might assume, psychologically,
I was looking for a father figure.

But that had nothing
to do with it at all.

It was just that
Dave was so strong

and he made me feel so
safe and protected.

It was the first time somebody
ever saw the real me.

The me that nobody else knows.

Okay, here, get down, get down.

When I think back on my
relationship with Mr. Novotny,

what I miss most is our talks.

You did it in your house?
In your own house?

Look, Jim, okay. I know
it seems crazy, but...

Jim, what I'm trying
to tell you is that

Tracy and I are totally,
totally in love.

- In love?
- Yeah.

It's serious.

She inspires me in ways
that Linda never has.

She even wants to read my novel!

- But you haven't written your novel.
- That's the whole point!

I've got the whole thing right here,
I just need to get it out there,

and Tracy wants me to write
it so she can read it!

- It's beautiful.
- Dave...

I'm just saying this
as your friend.

What you're doing is
really, really wrong.

And you've got to stop. The
line you've crossed is...

It's immoral and it's illegal.

Jim? Come on, I don't need
a lecture on ethics, okay?

I'm not talking about ethics,
I'm talking about morals.

What's the difference?

I guess I don't have to tell
you how this all turned out.

Tracy's mom, she
doesn't understand.

No, I'd say she doesn't.

The fact is, I have never
seen a mother so upset.

All right. I know what
Tracy told her mother,

what her mother told me.

I need to hear this from you because
I have a legal responsibility here.

Let me ask you this.

Did you cross the
line with this girl?

I... We...

We're in love.

Your novel?

- Are you fucking kidding me!
- Linda?

After Dave got fired, Linda kicked him
out of the house and filed for divorce.

Linda? Linda?

He ended up moving back to Milwaukee
to live with his parents.

He's lucky he's not in jail.

Linda!

...and ethics are
the basis of...

Okay, we'll pick
up here next time.

Would it be possible for me to
retake the test we took yesterday?

The test yesterday, you
want to retake it?

Yeah, I had to work late the night before
and I didn't have enough time to study.

Oh, yeah?

Now that I have more life experience,
I feel sorry for Mr. McAllister.

I mean, anyone who's stuck
in the same little room,

wearing the same stupid clothes,
saying the exact same things

year after year for
his whole life,

while his students go
on to good colleges

and move to big cities
and do great things

and make loads of money...

He's got to be at least
a little jealous.

I noticed it was a
little low for you.

It's like my mom says,

the weak are always trying
to sabotage the strong.

One thing that's important to know
about me is that I'm an only child.

So my mom is really devoted to me.
And I love her so much.

She wants me to do all the things that
she wanted to do in life but couldn't.

Mom used to be a
stewardess for Northwest

and now she works
as a paralegal.

She likes to write letters to
successful women like Elizabeth Dole

and Connie Chung and ask them how
they got to be where they are

and what advice do they have
for me, Tracy, her daughter.

Nine times out of 10 they say you
have to hold on to your dreams

no matter what.

The pressures women face mean
you have to work twice as hard

and you can't let anything
or anyone stand in your way.

Hey! Hey! One per
person, put those back!

Eat me.

But you know, winning
isn't everything.

Win or lose, ethical conduct
is the most important thing.

Just ask Mr. McAllister.

Mr. McAllister! Mr. McAllister!
Wait up!

Mr. McAllister, don't go!

I got all my signatures. There's 158.
Way more than I need.

- Hey, that's super.
- Here they are.

You can just put them in my box and
I'll take a look at them tomorrow.

Could you approve them now?

Because I'd really like to kick
off my campaign right away.

- You know, in the morning.
- Right.

- Yeah, yeah. Those look good to me.
- Okay.

- Aren't you supposed to keep them?
- No, that's fine.

I thought you were
supposed to keep them.

- Yeah, right, fine. Okay.
- Thanks for everything.

You bet.

I can't wait to
start campaigning.

- What's that?
- I can't wait to start campaigning.

Oh, well, should be easy for you.
So far no competition.

Yeah, but you know, Coca-Cola is by
far the world's number one soft drink

and they spend more money
than anybody on advertising.

I guess that's how come
they stay number one.

Yeah. Okay, well, good
luck there, Tracy.

You know, Mr. M?

When I win the presidency,

that means you and I are going to
be spending a lot of time together

and I for one would really like that
time to be harmonious and productive.

- Wouldn't you?
- Sure.

Okay. That's what I thought.
I was just checking.

- Yeah, good luck there, Tracy.
- Okay.

I don't blame Tracy for what
happened with Dave. How could I?

Dave was an adult, more
than twice her age.

Sure, she got on my nerves once
in a while but I admired Tracy.

I really did.

Thank god for Diane. She
was my best friend.

My source of love and strength.

Oh sure, we'd had our
share of bumpy times

but we'd always
seen them through.

After nine years of marriage,
we were closer than ever.

Anything wrong?

No. No. Just, you know, school.

When I win the presidency,

we're gonna be spending
a lot of time together.

Lots and lots and lots of time.

President and advisor.

Harmonious and productive.

Close and special.

You and I.

Hey, B.J.

Christa, what are you doing
here in the boys' locker room?

I've come to see the star
quarterback before the big game.

But what if Coach
Henderson walks in?

Oh, that's okay. I
took care of him.

- So, what you reading?
- Oh, I'm just reviewing my playbook.

I have a play we can practice. You
be quarterback, I'll be tight end.

You know, Coca-Cola is by far the
world's number one soft drink.

Paul.

I was so mad at God
when I broke my leg

at Shadow Ridge over
Christmas break.

Why!

The doctors told me I'd have to quit
sports for at least a couple of years,

if not forever.

Which meant no first-string
quarterback in the fall.

It was like the end of my life.

When I got back to school,
everybody was so supportive

and they all wanted to sign
my cast and everything,

but I still couldn't shake the feeling
that now my life had no purpose.

What did God want from me?
Why did I exist?

Sometimes you can search
everywhere for answers,

then one day destiny just walks
up and taps you on the shoulder.

I know because it
happened to me.

Paul, can I speak to
you for a minute?

Mr. McAllister changed my life.

And no matter what they
say he did or did not do,

I believe he is a good man.

Paul, I know you've been pretty
down since your accident.

Yeah, I wanted to play football
again so bad I could taste it.

- And maybe go on to the playoffs...
- Yes, I know.

I understand disappointment,
I really do.

Yeah.

Now, I personally think you have a
very bright future ahead of you.

And I'm not talking about the
fleeting glory of sports.

- What do you mean?
- Let me give you a clue.

You're a natural born leader.

You're one of the most
popular students at Carver.

You're honest, you're straightforward
and you don't crack under pressure

as we all saw in the amazing
fourth quarter against Westside.

All kids look up to you.
Now what does that spell?

Student council president.

Who, me? Oh, no, I...

I don't know anything about
that stuff, Mr. M, and...

I mean besides, that's
Tracy Flick's thing.

She's always working
so hard at it.

Yeah, I know, she's a real
go-getter, all right.

And she's super nice.

Yeah, yeah. But one
person assured of victory

kind of undermines the whole idea
of democracy, don't you think?

- But, Mr. M...
- I mean, that would be more like

- a dictatorship, like we studied.
- But, Mr. M, there's...

Paul, what's your
favorite fruit?

- Pears.
- Pears. Good.

- Okay, let's say...
- Oh no, wait!

- Apples.
- Apples. Fine.

Let's say all you ever
knew were apples,

apples, apples, more apples.

You might think apples
were pretty good,

even if you got a rotten
one once in a while.

But then one day,
there's an orange.

And now you can make a decision.

Do you want an apple or
do you want an orange?

- That's democracy.
- I also like bananas.

Exactly. Good.

So, what do you say? Maybe it's time
to give a little something back.

How's that?

That's... No, just a little higher.
A little higher.

- Is this okay?
- Eric!

You can't put tape on the
outside of the poster,

it goes on the back
of the poster!

You better just take the whole
thing down and redo it.

- Who put you up to this?
- Oh, hi, Tracy.

- Who put you up to this?
- What do you mean?

You just woke up this morning and
suddenly decided to run for president?

- No. No, I just thought that...
- Thought what?

Well, I was talking to Mr.
McAllister about my leg

and how I still want to do
something for the school and...

So Mr. McAllister
asked you to run?

Well, I talked to
him and everything,

but he just said that he thought
it would be a good idea

and how there's all different
kinds of fruits and...

Well, it's nothing against you,
Tracy, I mean, you're the best.

- I... I just thought...
- Okay. You're on, Mr. Popular!

You might think it upset
me that Paul Metzler

had decided to run against me,

but nothing could be
further from the truth.

He was no competition for me.
It was like apples and oranges.

I had to work a little
harder, that's all.

You see, I believe
in the voters.

They understand that elections
aren't just popularity contests.

They know this country was
built by people just like me

who work very hard

and don't have everything handed
to them on a silver spoon.

It's not like some rich
kids who everybody likes

because their fathers
own Metzler Cement,

and give them trucks
on their 16th birthday

and throw them big
parties all the time!

No, they don't ever have
to work for anything!

They think they can just all of a
sudden, one day, out of the blue,

waltz right in with no
qualifications whatsoever

and try to take away what
other people have worked for

very, very, hard
their entire lives!

No! Didn't bother me at all!

Paul. Paul power.

Paul... Paul for president.
Paul for president.

Promise. Progress. Peanut.

- What?
- I told you, I can't.

It just doesn't
feel right anymore.

But I love you.

I said no!

Hey, Tammy, guess
what happened today.

- Don't you fucking knock?
- Yeah.

Oh, hi, Lisa.

- Get out, Paul!
- Listen.

So Mr. McAllister, he calls
me in and he tells me

- he thinks I can...
- I got to go.

- You dumb shit!
- What did I do?

It's not like I'm a lesbian or anything.
I'm attracted to the person.

It's just that all the people I've ever
been attracted to happen to be girls.

Lisa, wait!

Stop!

- What?
- Where are you going?

- I'm not like you, okay?
- What do you mean?

I'm not a dyke and
we're not in love.

We're just experimenting.

How can something
that seems so true

turn out to be such a lie?

Lisa and I were destined
to be together.

Of all the people on the
planet who had ever lived,

somehow we'd found each other.
It was like a miracle.

We had so much fun together.

Like the time we ate
a bunch of asparagus

to see how long it takes
before your pee smells funny.

It was very scientific.

For me it was 11 minutes.
For her it was 17.

Every day I found a new way to
tell Lisa how much I loved her.

"If you died right now

"I would throw myself into one
of my dad's cement trucks"

"and get poured into your tomb."

But it just seemed like
the closer we got,

the more she pulled away.

- Are you crazy?
- What?

- These are private. These are for us.
- So?

- But other people can see them, too.
- I don't care.

Well, I do.

What did I do to
make her change?

What's wrong with me?

Sometimes when I'm sad, I sit
and watch the power station.

They say if you lie between
two of the main wires,

your body just evaporates.
You become a gas.

I wonder what that
would feel like.

I don't know why, but Lisa
decided she wanted to hurt me,

and she knew exactly what to do.

I sure was surprised
the day Lisa Flanagan

asked me for a ride home
and ended up blowing me.

I've wanted this for so long.

I mean, life is so weird.

First, Lisa has a big
fight with my sister

and the next thing you
know, she's my girlfriend.

And since Lisa knew all about
public relations and stuff,

she offered to help
me with my campaign.

We made a great team.

It seemed so natural,
the two of us together.

It was like a miracle.

My leg wasn't bugging me too much
and the weather was so nice.

And every day after school,

Lisa and I would go to her house
to fuck and have a hot tub.

If that's the way they wanted it, then
that's the way it was going to be.

But I wasn't going
down without a fight.

Tammy? Tammy, what
are you doing?

You're the advisor. You should stop her.
She's not qualified.

She's just a sophomore.
Did you know that?

All right, calm down, Tracy.
Just calm down.

We can't both run, can we?

I mean, we're brother and sister.
Can we?

It's a conflict of interest
and Paul was first.

Anybody who gets signatures
in on time can run,

and she got in just
under the wire.

These are a bunch of burnouts!

And what's this one? It's illegible!
I can't even read that!

That's Tim Kobza.

She's doing this
to get back at me.

- For what?
- I mean at you.

For what?

Tim Kobza? Tim Kobza? Who's he?
I've never even heard of him!

Look, look. Why don't we
just forget about Tammy?

We'll have the assembly tomorrow...
Everybody can make their speeches

and I'm sure everything's
going to be just fine.

- Jim, don't. You're scaring him.
- No, he likes it.

No, not that much.

Around that time, Diane and
I were hanging out a lot

at Linda Novotny's house.

Giving her our love and support,

and helping her make it
through a difficult time.

Diane really wanted to
have kids, and so did I.

But it seemed like there was
always a reason to wait.

She had to finish nursing school,
I had to get my master's,

we needed a new house,
we needed more money.

Finally we just
decided to go for it.

You gonna do it?
You gonna do it?

But for over a year, we
hadn't had any luck.

- Just... Just a minute.
- Come on, do it.

- Do it. Fill me up!
- Yeah.

Come on, fill me up! Fill me up!

Okay.

Good job.

Say, Jim?

- Jim, can you get this?
- Oh, yeah, sure.

- Just put it on the table.
- All right.

Without Dave around,

Linda needed a lot of
help around the house.

Where do you want it, here?

More this way.

- Here?
- Yeah. That's good.

I'd always liked Linda,

but we'd never had a chance to
spend any time alone together.

That ought to warm
you up a little bit.

Now with Dave out of the
picture, I began to see

what an incredibly sensitive
and giving person she was.

We got to be kind
of like buddies.

I even took her to the mall one
time while her car was in the shop.

What do you think?

You look great.

I can't afford this
stuff right now.

Come on. You've had a hard year.

You're cooped up all the time with the kid.
Let go. Live a little.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

So what do you think,
should we get a room?

Should we get a what?

That's not funny.

- How'd it go?
- Fine.

You know, just
went to Westroads.

Did you guys have fun?

Yeah. I mean, you know...

- What?
- Well...

Linda's great, but she can be
a little bit much sometimes.

Yeah.

Oh, God! Just like that, yeah.

Fill me up. Fill me up.

Oh, yeah! Fill me up!

Oh, God! Just like that!
Oh, yeah!

- Fill me up!
- Oh, God!

- Oh, God. Just like that. Do it.
- Oh, yeah.

- Do it, Jim. Fuck me.
- Do it, Jim. Just like that.

- Oh, yeah!
- Do it, Jim. Fill me up.

Just like that. Do it, Mr. M. Do it.
Fuck me, Mr. M. Fuck me!

Fuck me hard, Mr. McAllister.
Harder! Harder!

Fuck me, Mr. McAllister, fuck me hard!
Harder! Fuck me! Please!

So like I was saying

things were going
pretty well in my life.

That is until things started going
all haywire with that damn election.

I love Carver High,

and I will be a dedicated
vice president.

A vote for Jerry Slavin is a
vote for good government.

And even if I can't really
stand up for you, I will.

Thank you.

Thank you, Jerry.

Thank you and good luck.

Again, Jerry is running
unopposed for vice president.

So, we'll move on now to
the presidential race.

With three candidates running.

The first, in alphabetical
order, is Tracy Flick. Tracy?

Poet Henry David
Thoreau once wrote,

"I cannot make my days longer so
I strive to make them better."

With this election, we here at
Carver also have an opportunity

to make our high
school days better.

During this campaign, I've spoken with
many of you about your many concerns.

I spoke with Eliza
Ramirez, a freshman,

who said she feels alienated
from her own homeroom.

I spoke with sophomore
Reggie Banks,

who said his mother
works in the cafeteria

and can't afford to buy him enough
spiral notebooks for his classes.

- Eat me!
- Eat me raw!

All right, now...

Hey, if you can't be adults

and give these candidates
the courtesy they deserve,

then you don't deserve to be
called adults, but children.

Because that's what children are and
you'll be treated like children.

So let's all listen up.

I care about Carver and I care
about each and every one of you.

And together we can all
make a difference.

When you cast your vote for
Tracy Flick next week,

you won't just be voting for me,
you'll be voting for yourself

and for every other
student here at Carver.

Our days might not be any longer, but
they can sure be better. Thank you.

The next candidate for student body
president is Paul Metzler. Paul?

You're the man!

"As many of you know, I broke
my leg pretty bad this year

"and the experience has
made me re-evaluate

"what I want to do with my
life, and that is help people.

"When you think about it, a
school is more than a school,

"it's our second home, where
we spend all our time

"and grow as individuals
and a community.

"But is our school
everything it could be?

"I want our school to
reach its true potential.

"That's why I'm running
for president.

"I know what it is to
fight hard and win

"like when we almost
went to state last fall

"and I threw the fourth-quarter pass
against Westside for the touchdown

"that won the game by three points. I
won't let you down like I didn't then.

"I promise we can all score a
winning touchdown together."

"Vote Paul Metzler for president.
Thank you."

Okay, Paul.

The final candidate for
student council president

is another one of
the Metzler clan,

sophomore Tammy Metzler. Tammy?

People! People!

Who cares about this
stupid election?

We all know it doesn't matter who
gets elected president of Carver.

Do you really think it's going
to change anything around here?

Make one single person smarter?

Or happier? Or nicer?

The only person it does matter
to is the one who gets elected.

The same pathetic charade
happens every year

and everyone makes the
same pathetic promises

just so they can put it on their
transcripts to get into college.

So vote for me, because I
don't even want go to college

and I don't care. And as
president, I won't do anything.

The only promise I will
make is that if elected,

I will immediately dismantle
the student government

so that none of us will ever
have to sit through one of these

stupid assemblies again!

Tammy! Tammy! Tammy! Tammy!

Tammy! Tammy! Tammy! Tammy!

- Tammy! Tammy! Tammy...
- Or don't vote for me.

Who cares? Don't vote at all!

Close the door.

I tell ya, that little bitch
made a fool out of us.

I want her out of this election.

Getting everybody all
riled up like that.

She is washed up. You understand me?
She's finished!

Walt, we can't throw her
out of the election

just because we don't
like her speech.

That's not what student
government is about.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Look, all I know is she's a troublemaker.
She's on my list.

All we need to do
is send a message.

So maybe we should
just suspend her.

That's it! Three days. She's
suspended for three days.

Being suspended is like
getting a paid vacation.

Why do they think
it's a punishment?

It's like your dog pees on the
carpet and you give him a treat.

Then you get in trouble for
skipping school, it's so stupid.

Hendricks told me, "One more
time," and I'd be expelled.

Sounded good to me.

- You got it! You got it!
- Over here!

Oh, hi, Tammy.

- What do you want?
- Oh, well,

I went to all your teachers and
got your assignments for you.

I just thought,

you know, last time you got
suspended you fell so far behind

and I just didn't want to see
that happen to you again.

- Thanks, Paul. Thanks a lot.
- Sure, you bet.

- Now could you leave me alone?
- Oh, yeah.

Tammy, there's just
one other thing.

You know all this
election stuff,

'cause everybody's
saying it's really weird

that you're running against me and
everything, and it is kind of weird.

You haven't really told
me why you're doing it

and didn't tell me in advance.

But that's okay, I respect your privacy.
It's just...

I want you to know that
no matter who wins,

you or me, that there's
no hard feelings.

We're still brother and sister, okay?
Even though you're adopted,

'cause... I hope
you feel the same.

What happened at the speeches was
an unconscienceable travesty.

That little bitch Tammy Metzler
wanted to make a fool out of me.

Well, it wasn't going to work!

If all those students who
cheered for Tammy Metzler

only knew how hard I
worked for Carver.

Like all the late nights I
spent at the yearbook office

just to give them their
stinking memories!

One of my duties was to
clean up the group photos.

It was a cinch with
our new software.

People are so ungrateful.

The day before the election is when
things started to get really complicated.

There's your culprit.

Linda had asked me to stop
by on my way to school

to help her out with a
little plumbing problem.

Did you know Dave's
a bed wetter?

No.

- No, I didn't know that.
- All his life, he's tried everything.

- Is that still running clear?
- Yeah.

- Better let it run for a while.
- Okay.

Oh, wait, here.
This one's clean.

I guess you better
get to work, huh?

- You're gonna be late.
- Yeah.

Thank you, Jim.

It was something
that just happened.

Neither of us expected it.
Neither of us planned it.

But once we started, we knew
there was no turning back.

It was a miracle.

Oh, Jim...

Hey, take me to that
motel like you wanted.

Now?

Come by after school. I'll
leave Darryl with the sitter.

- 3:25.
- Okay, 3:25.

What had blossomed between
Linda and me was too real,

too powerful, to deny.

For the first time in years
I felt free and alive.

It's not fair! It's
just not fair!

I just don't think somebody would
do something like that on purpose.

It must be some sort of mistake.
Like a maintenance thing.

- Jim, where the hell have you been?
- Nowhere. No, I...

I just, I don't have any
classes until second period.

Well, I tried you at home. Now
we've got a situation here.

If Paul loses this
election tomorrow,

there has to be another
one, with posters!

Somebody tore down
their posters.

Those posters cost us a lot of money and
there's no time to make any more...

All right. We'll get
to the bottom of it.

We still have some
extra ones, don't we?

- Maybe we could just use those.
- It was Tammy!

- That's who it was!
- Oh, no, hey, like I said,

she just wouldn't do
something like that.

Well, that speech that she gave,
you know, it was pretty...

It was out there. But we'll
get to the bottom of it.

I want you two to go back, I want
you to focus on your studies.

Mr. McAllister will
handle the whole thing.

- Right, Jim?
- What's that?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Yeah, you bet.

Tracy?

Tracy, come on in. Close
the door behind you.

Have a seat.

I guess you know
why you're here?

If it's about the posters, I think
it's awful. I think it's a travesty.

A travesty, huh? Well,
that's interesting

- because I think you did it.
- What?

Are you accusing me?
You're not serious.

Mr. McAllister, we've worked together
on the SGA for three solid years.

Besides, my own best banner was torn down.
Did I do that, too?

Were you or were you not working in the
Looking Glass office over the weekend?

I was. So? Mr.
Pecharda let me in.

As you know, with my
many responsibilities,

I often have to come in on the weekend
and I have permission to do so.

But I left very early.
Around 6:30.

6:30.

6:30? How do you know what time
the posters were torn down?

I don't. I just know that
they were there when I left.

I'm giving you helpful
information, that's all.

You know, instead of wasting
your time interrogating me,

we should be out there trying
to figure out who did this.

Okay, Tracy. Who do
you think did it?

- Whom should we interrogate?
- Well, I don't know.

You know, it could
have been anybody.

There's a lot of subversive
elements here at Carver.

Like, Rick Thieson or Kevin
Speck and those burnouts.

Or what about Tammy Metzler?

I mean, her whole thing is
being anti-this and anti-that.

Tracy, you're a very
intelligent girl.

You have a lot of
admirable qualities.

But one day maybe you'll
learn that being smart

and doing whatever you
need to do to get ahead

and yes, stepping on other
people to get there,

well, there's a whole lot
more to life than that.

And in the end, you're
only cheating yourself.

Why are you lecturing me?

This isn't the time or the
place to get into it,

but there is, for just one example,
a certain former colleague of mine

who made a very big mistake.
A life mistake.

Now I think that the lesson here is
that old or young, we all make mistakes

and we have to learn that
our actions, all of them,

can carry serious consequences.

I don't know what you're referring to,
but maybe if certain older, wiser people

hadn't acted like such little
babies and gotten so mushy,

then everything would be okay.

I agree and I also think that
certain young and naive people

need to thank their lucky stars and be
very, very grateful that the entire school

didn't find out about
certain indiscretions

that could have ruined
their reputations

and their chances to
win certain elections.

And I think certain older people
like you, and your colleague,

shouldn't be letching
after their students.

Especially when some of them can't
even get their own wives pregnant,

and they certainly shouldn't be
making slanderous accusations

especially when certain young,
naive people's mothers are

paralegal secretaries at the
city's biggest law firm

and have won many
successful lawsuits.

And if you want to keep
questioning me like this,

I won't continue without
my attorney present.

- You wanted to see me, Mr. McAllister?
- Just wait outside, Tammy.

- Okay. But is this about the posters?
- Possibly. Please, just wait outside.

Okay, because I know who did it.
So, I'll just be outside.

Don't go anywhere, Tracy.
Tammy, come on in here.

This ought to be good.

So, what do you have
to tell me, Tammy?

Well, this is hard for me, but I think
it's important to be honest. Don't you?

Yeah, what is it, Tammy?

I did it. I'm the one who
tore down Paul's posters.

- I did it.
- When did you do it?

- I don't know, yesterday. Sunday.
- How did you get into the school?

- Door was open.
- Which door?

I don't know, all I
know is I did it.

- Well, I don't believe you.
- I have proof.

- Tracy?
- Yes?

Looks like today
is your lucky day.

You're off the hook. Tammy
here has confessed.

I told you.

I told you. You're gonna
pay for my poster!

Okay, easy now. Now, quit while
you're ahead will you, Tracy.

Just run along back to class.

The rest of the day
was unbearable.

I kept smelling Linda on my
clothes and on my fingers

and I just couldn't wait
to get out of there.

I wanted everything to be perfect
that afternoon at the motel.

So, I decided to give myself a little
time to prepare during eighth period.

Pop quiz everybody.

Put your stuff away.
Come on, no whining.

If you've done your reading,
this should be an easy one.

I'd have exactly 48 minutes
to make all the arrangements.

If you finish early, just sit quietly and
check your work. I'll be right back.

Okay, everybody,
pass them forward.

Stephanie, put your pen down.
Stop.

All right, see you all on Wednesday.
Don't forget to vote tomorrow.

Linda?

Linda?

Linda?

Linda! Linda?

Jesus!

Oh, fuck!

"Hi, you've reached
the Novotnys."

"We're not around but we'll call you
back real soon. Have a nice day."

Hey, Linda, it's me. Are you there?
Pick up.

Okay. Well, it's 4:32

and I came by at
3:25, like we said

and I waited there, but
you weren't there,

so now I'm at the place
that we talked about.

Suite 246 and I'm here.

Everything's all set. So, hope you
get here soon, okay? Bye-bye.

I don't get it. I
just don't get it.

What you have against
your mother and me,

against your brother Paul,
is completely beyond me!

Your mother's extremely upset,
she's at the end of her rope!

Your behavior keeps getting crazier
and crazier and wilder and wilder.

Who knows what the hell
else you're doing out there

that we don't even know about!

We just had a long conversation
with Walt Hendricks.

Just got off the phone
with him at his home.

You know he doesn't want
you back at Carver.

He's fed up with you! Fed up!

And I don't blame him!

- Dick, Dick...
- What?

Tammy, your father and
I have been talking

and we've come to a decision

- that we...
- You're going to Immaculate Heart!

That's where you belong! Maybe the nuns
will be able to straighten you out.

Is that funny? You
think it's funny?

Okay.

Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often
speak with you and ask for things,

but now I really must insist that you
help me win the election tomorrow,

because I deserve it and Paul
Metzler doesn't, as you well know.

I realize that it was your divine
hand that disqualified Tammy Metzler

and now I am asking that
you go that one last mile

and make sure to put me
in office where I belong

so that I may carry out your will
on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

Dear God, I know I
don't believe in you,

but since I'll be starting
Catholic school soon,

I thought I should
at least practice.

Let's see, what do I want? I want
Lisa to realize what a bitch she is

and feel really bad and
apologize for how she hurt me

and know how much
I still love her.

In spite of everything, I still want
Paul to win the election tomorrow,

not that cunt Tracy.

Oh, and I also want a really
expensive pair of leather pants.

And someday, I want to be really
good friends with Madonna.

Love, Tammy.

Dear God, thank you for
all your blessings.

You've given me so many things,
like good health, nice parents,

a nice truck, and what I'm told is a
large penis, and I'm very grateful,

but I sure am worried
about Tammy.

In my heart, I still can't believe
she tore down my posters,

but sometimes she does
get so weird and angry.

Please help her be a happier person
because she's so smart and sensitive

and I love her so much.

Also, I'm nervous about
the election tomorrow,

and I guess I wanna win and all, but
I know that's totally up to you.

You'll decide who the best
person is and I'll accept it.

And forgive me for my sins,
whatever they may be. Amen.

Linda never came
home that night.

I know, because I spent 10 hours
waiting outside her house.

Oh, God.

On election day, my mom
and I got up really early

and together we
customized 480 cupcakes.

Good morning, Mr. M.

Looks like you could
use a cupcake.

Hey, what happened to your eye?

You okay?

McAllister? McAllister, somebody
tore down my posters. It's not fair.

It's not fair. Can I have an A?

Can I have a recommendation?
Can I? Can I?

Fuck them.

"Hi, you've reached
the Novotnys."

"We're not around but we'll call you
back real soon. Have a nice day."

Why did you do that? I
trusted you completely!

And you ruined my life. Do you know that?
Do you realize that?

Do you? You ruined Diane's, you ruined
my life! Is that what you wanted?

I'm sorry... I'm...

I'm sorry, I'm just...
I'm just going nuts here

and I really think
we should talk.

It's Jim. I love you.

Attention, everyone.

We have an important announcement
from our principal, Dr. Hendricks.

Good morning, students.

It behooves me to inform you of an
important change in today's election.

Effective this morning, sophomore
Tammy Meltzler has been...

Metzler has been determined ineligible.
I repeat, ineligible for SGA president.

All other candidates
are eligible.

You may vote for any of
those, but not Tammy Metzler.

When the time came to cast our votes, I
stood in line just like everyone else.

Hi, Tracy.

- Tracy Enid Flick.
- I know.

- Ready, Phil?
- Yeah, I'm ready.

Thanks, Phil.

- Oh, hey, Tracy!
- Hey, Paul.

Isn't this exciting?

- Well, good luck.
- Thanks, Paul. You, too.

Oh, thanks!

It's so weird. Do people always
just vote for themselves?

'Cause, looking at my own
name on the ballot, I just...

I don't know, I just felt like it's
not right to vote for yourself.

Okay, Mr. M.

All right, so, let's
start counting.

Okay, well, as the election committee
chairman, I'll do the first count,

and then you can do
the second count,

you know, for the two
independent counts.

Fine. So, do your count. Start with
the president and I'll be right back.

You have the key, Mr.
McAllister.

Right.

- Are you okay, Mr. McAllister?
- Yeah, what happened to your eye?

I'm fine! It's just a bee sting. A
simple little everyday bee sting.

Some people, they get stung, it's
no big deal. Me, I swell up.

There's not much time
left until eighth period,

I have other things going
on, too, you know?

Yeah, okay. We know.

All right. I'll be right back.

"Hi, you've reached
the Novotnys."

"We're not around but we'll call you
back real soon. Have a nice day."

It's me again and I'm sorry
for all the messages, but

Linda, if I could just hear your voice.
If you'd only acknowledge that I...

- What do you want, Jim?
- You're there?

Yeah, I'm here.

- Linda, I love you!
- Don't say that.

You know it's not true.

It's the only true
thing I know anymore!

We made a mistake. Let's
not make it worse.

A mistake? That was no mistake!

I was lonely, you
took advantage.

Me! I took advantage of you? You hugged me!
You kissed me!

You're the one who...

- Hey, Mr. M, big day huh?
- Not now, Paul.

- What have you got?
- Well, I'm not supposed to tell.

Not until you've counted, too.

We're each supposed to
make an independent count.

You're kidding, right?

Well, I thought those were the rules, Mr.
McAllister,

if they've changed any way I...

Larry, we're not electing the fucking
Pope here. Just tell me who won.

It's a squeaker, Mr. M.
I've got Tracy by a vote.

Just one vote.

Mr. M?

Okay.

Well, I guess I
better do my count.

I was at the end of my
count when it happened.

I'd come up with exactly the same
numbers as Larry. 256 to 257.

Tracy had won the election
by a single vote.

I was about to announce
my tally, when...

The sight of Tracy
at that moment

affected me in a way I
can't fully explain.

Part of it was that she was spying,
but mostly it was her face.

Who knew how high she
would climb in life?

How many people would
suffer because of her?

I had to stop her. Now.

- Larry?
- Yeah?

I think we have a problem.

253, 254 and 255. Yup, I
get the same as you, Jim.

- Looks like Paul is our next president.
- No way!

- It doesn't make sense.
- Well, sorry, Larry

but my figures work out exactly
the same as Mr. McAllister's.

I get 256 for Paul,
255 for Tracy.

- And 290 "Disregards," right?
- Well, if you say so.

Mostly Tammy fans, if
you can believe it.

See, it doesn't add up!

There were 801 ballots,
but 803 people voted.

Well, there must be two votes missing.
Check the register.

He's right. Two people must
have pocketed their ballots.

- Usually there's more.
- But they were there!

I counted 803 votes.

It happens, Larry.
People make mistakes.

I didn't make a mistake.

Every vote was there
when you sat down.

Easy, Fouch, I don't
like where you're going.

I'm sorry, Dr. Hendricks, but
every vote was accounted for.

Fouch, that's enough.
End of story.

Paul, I just want to
let you know that,

no matter what happens
and how this turns out,

you've run a really great campaign.
Good luck.

Thanks, Tracy. You, too.
I'm just glad it's over.

If we can just get started.
People, people.

As soon as the winners are
announced, we can all go home, okay?

Some contests are so well
fought that it seems

unfair for someone to win
and someone to lose...

Act surprised. Walk slowly
to the podium, be modest,

thank them for this
incredible honor.

They're all highly qualified

and embody the integrity that we
expect from the school leadership.

That said, the whole point of an
election is to choose a winner,

and that you have done. We'll
begin with "President."

I'd just like to add that this was
an extraordinarily close race.

It is my pleasure to
announce the next president

of George Washington
Carver High School,

Paul Metzler.

Jeez, you guys, thanks!

Wow! Thanks! I promise
to do my best,

and do a really good job
and be a good president.

I just wanna thank Lisa Flanagan
for being a super campaign manager

and I'd also like to say...

It's Mr. M!

- Yes, over there. Yeah, come on.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow! Mr. M. This is so wild!

We were just here, you know, celebrating
my victory and you're here!

This is incredible. This is great!
Well, these are my parents.

- Hi, Dick Metzler.
- Jim McAllister.

- Jo Metzler.
- How do you do?

Paul just thinks the world of you.
I mean, you should hear him.

He goes on and on and on.

Yeah, say, apparently you've
really come behind him,

really helped him out with that
student council thing and all.

Oh, well, Paul doesn't
need any help from me.

He's going places. You
should be very proud.

- Oh, we are.
- We are.

Hey, look, you're all alone. Why
don't you come over and join us?

- Yeah! Yeah! Come on.
- No, no, no, no. I'm just finishing up

- here and I've got to get home.
- Okay.

Oh, well, why don't
you guys go sit down

and you know, I'll catch up with you
in a minute. I'm gonna talk to Mr. M

- about some important stuff.
- All right, all right. That sounds great.

Hey, sure nice to meet you.

- Great to meet you.
- A pleasure. Yeah.

- So nice, and thank you.
- You bet.

So, Mr. M, I was
starting to think about,

you know, some ideas
for what we could do.

I was thinking it'd be
cool to have a carnival,

you know, with rides and stuff. And it
could be for like, Muscular Dystrophy.

And then, on Halloween, we
could have a haunted house.

But, you know, a really good haunted
house, not like those cheesy bad ones.

You know, I mean, this one
would be super scary.

And then for Homecoming, well,

you know how last year's
theme was "Heaven on Earth"?

- Well, this year...
- Paul.

We'll have plenty of time
to talk about this later.

A whole year, in fact.

But right now, I just...

I need to finish my
pie, go on home.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sorry.

Mr. M, just one more thing.

So, do you think
Tracy's gonna be okay?

I mean, I saw her face
after the assembly,

it looked like she was
taking it pretty hard.

Don't worry about
Tracy, she'll be fine.

Oh, sweetheart. Oh, oh, baby.

Oh, baby. Oh, baby.

Come on, take one of my pills.

You'll feel better. Here.

Come on, baby. Come on.

Lie down. Lie down.

That's a good girl. Lie down.

Good girl. That's it.
That's it, baby.

That's it, honey.

Maybe you needed
more posters, honey.

Or if you'd just taken my
suggestions about your speech.

I don't know,

we'll figure it out.

Diane, I... I've made
a mistake and I...

- Did you want the same room?
- Yeah, okay.

The next day I woke up resolved
to get my life back on track.

The way I saw it, Diane's kicking me out
of the house had been a good thing,

a wake-up call. It wasn't a
setback, it was an opportunity.

I figured we just needed a
little time to work things out.

The election was behind me
and the worst was over.

After all, what harm had really been done?
Nobody was dead.

- Jim? Jim?
- Yeah?

- Walt wants to see you.
- Okay. Thanks.

You rang?

Mr. McAllister, I hope you can
help us clear something up.

Dr. Hendricks?

Come on in, son. We have something
hard we got to tell you.

- Is it about Tammy?
- It's about the election.

After Paul got the bad news, Walt asked
for a few minutes alone with me.

It was very simple, really. I offered
my resignation and he accepted.

Very quietly, it was all over for
Jim McAllister at Carver High.

Suddenly, everyone
knew who I was.

That corrupt teacher who had tried to
crush the dreams of an innocent girl.

Overnight, all the good things I'd
ever done in my life evaporated.

Soon the wire services
picked up on the story.

It was the kind of absurd little
news item people e-mail each other

or post on the bulletin
board at work.

To top it all off, Diane had
started divorce proceedings.

She was completely unforgiving
about the thing with Linda.

In the end, she took almost
everything, including the house.

I got the car.

Then one day, I realized it was time
to get out of Omaha and move on.

Senior year was great.

Sure, I didn't get to play
ball or be president,

but I got elected homecoming
king and prom king.

I got into Nebraska like I wanted
and early-rushed Phi Delts.

And at the end of the year,

me and my buddies threw a
bitching Mexican party

down at the cement plant.

Shit, that was a good party.

The only really bad thing
about senior year was Lisa.

Right before Christmas
she dumped me.

One minute she's totally in
love with me and then, boom,

she goes after my
football buddy, Randy.

Sometimes I wonder what
would have happened

if I'd actually
won the election.

Maybe my whole life
would be different.

Like I might never have gone to
Yosemite with Greg and Travis.

Or maybe I'd be dead.

Catholic school was great.

I mean, the teachers kind of sucked and
they were supposedly way more strict,

but you could get
away with murder.

The best thing about Immaculate
Heart was meeting Jennifer.

Jennifer and I are soul mates,

and we're never, ever,
ever going to be apart.

Order! Order! Order!

Senior year was very
productive for me.

Let's vote on this issue.

On top of a very successful
student council year,

I was in the top seventh
percentile of my graduating class.

Opposed?

And I got into Georgetown like I wanted.
With scholarships.

Approved.

But sometimes I got lonely
and I'd think about Dave.

I missed our talks. Maybe it
could've worked out between us.

I don't know. I wonder
what he's doing now.

Maybe he finally
finished his novel.

But, you know, even with all my myriad
accomplishments and bright future,

somehow I just didn't feel the
way you're supposed to feel.

Everybody else seemed so happy

planning big parties and signing
each other's yearbooks.

Hardly anybody signed mine.

You'd think as student body president,
I'd be the one surrounded by friends.

But it wasn't like that at all.

Brittany Lake Fillmore...

As far as Mr. McAllister
was concerned,

you might be surprised, but I hardly
thought about him at all anymore.

Besides, nobody had heard
from him in a long time.

It was almost like he'd never
existed in the first place.

Tracy Enid Flick.

When I got to Georgetown, I thought I'd
finally be among people more like me.

You know, smarter,
more ambitious people.

I was sure that finally I'd
make some true friends.

Clean yourself off.

Excuse me! Will you
please be quiet!

But it wasn't like that at all.

A lot of them were just
spoiled little rich kids

who didn't know how
lucky they had it.

But that's okay, I've come to accept
that very few people are truly destined

to be special and we're solo flyers.
I guess it really is like Dave said,

if you're gonna be great,
you've got to be lonely.

What happens to a man
when he loses everything?

Everything he's worked for,

everything he believes in.

Driven from his home,
cast out of society.

How can he survive?
Where can he go?

Right this way.

New York City.

For centuries, people
have come to New York

seeking refuge from
their troubled lives.

Now, I am one of them.

Besides, I'd always dreamed
of living in New York.

All that excitement and culture.

Living in the city brings
surprises all the time.

Once in a while I even bump into
former students of mine from Carver.

Oh, sure, my apartment's a little smaller
than what I was used to back in Omaha,

and the rent's
pretty darn steep,

but it's got a lot of character
and I'm cozy enough.

Besides, it's great
not needing a car.

And I get a lot of reading
done on the subway.

Some days, I even walk to work.

The job market is pretty
tight in New York,

but after hunting around for a
while, I finally landed a position

in the education department at
the Museum of Natural History.

That's right, I'm
teaching again.

The bison, or buffalo...

When a school brings its students
to the museum on a field trip,

there's a staff of both volunteer docents
and trained educators like myself

who pick up where their
class work leaves off.

And I've started seeing someone new.
Her name is Jillian.

She works at the museum
too, in signs and signage.

She's really different from
Diane and, I don't know,

I've just never met
anyone quite like her.

She just got out of a long relationship,
too, so we're trying to take it slow.

You might ask if I ever
saw Tracy Flick again.

Well, I did. Just once.

I was down in Washington for a
museum educators' conference

and I stayed an extra day
to do some sightseeing.

After an inspiring
morning on the Mall,

I was on my way to the
Holocaust Museum, when...

I'll never know if she saw me.
Probably not.

But in that moment,
all the bad memories,

all the things I'd ever
wanted to say to her,

it all came flooding back.

My first impulse was to run
over there, pound on her window

and demand that she admit
she tore down those posters

and lied and cheated her way
into winning that election.

But instead, I just stood there.

And I suddenly realized I
wasn't angry at her anymore.

I just felt sorry for her.

I mean, when I think about my new life
and all the exciting things I'm doing,

and then I think about what
her life must be like.

Probably still getting up
at 5:00 in the morning

to pursue her pathetic
little dreams,

it just makes me sad.

I mean, where is she really
trying to get to anyway?

What is she doing in that limo? Who
the fuck does she think she is!

Hey, you! Hey! You asshole!

But that's all ancient history now.
I've got a whole new life.

I mean, that's what's great about America.
You can always start over.

So, would that make this an igneous
rock, or a sedimentary rock?

What's the difference between
igneous and sedimentary anyway?