Original subtitles

You'd better take pretty good care of me if you know what's good for you:

Gary Coleman rockets into the 25th century as the president of a distant planet,

trapped on a world where only Buck Rogers can save him:

I want that boy found:

- Whose side are you on? - He's from Old Earth, 20th century:

Your time:

I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you, Captain:

- You gotta watch these people every minute: - Hmm:

The year is 1987,

and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes:

In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William -Buck'-Rogers,

are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems: : :

And returns Buck Rogers to Earth: : :

500 years later:

You have an appointment with the Science Council in 20 minutes, Mr: President:

Something about redesigning the aqueducts:

Yeah, yeah, I know: If it isn't the aqueducts, it's the sewage system,

and if it isn't that, it's the transport tubes:

How did you people ever develop indoor plumbing before you thawed me out?

I wouldn't know, Mr: President: That was a little before my time:

Um, that's another thing: I wish you wouldn't call me -Mr: President:-

Makes me feel like I'm 500 years old:

But you are 500 years old:

493, but who's counting?

My mistake, Mr: President:

- Sorry, Hieronymus: - That isn't much better, is it?

Go back to -Mr: President:-

Okay:

Something wrong? We overshot our floor:

I can't bring it to a stop:

Uh-oh:

Monolithium oxide:

We'll be unconscious within minutes, but no serious aftereffects:

I'm sorry, Hieronymus:

It's all my fault:

Don't... Don't blame yourself:

Just: : : Do me a favor, will you?

When you keel over, try not to fall on me:

This is Koren: Operation went as planned:

Excellent: The president is unharmed?

Sleeping peacefully: See to it he stays that way:

He's too valuable to be damaged in any way:

I'll contact the Genesian government immediately and present our demands: Zale out:

But you must help me:

The president's life depends on it:

You're the boy's bodyguard, eh? Yes,

although apparently not enough of one:

Look, I failed him once: I won't fail him again:

Lieutenant,

for years, Genesia has shunned diplomatic relations with Earth:

We have no treaty with your government:

Therefore, we cannot interfere in the affairs of a sovereign planet:

My government doesn't even know that I've come to you:

When I'd heard that you'd turned down their formal request for aid,

I thought that a personal request might be more effective:

A child's life is at stake here:

He may be a genius, but he is still a little boy:

Lieutenant, if we could help you, we would: Our hands are tied:

I see: Well, thank you for seeing me: I'll just have to fend for myself:

- Good day:

Well, hello: And what is your name?

Lieutenant Cyrton: Dia Cyrton:

Ah: Pleased to meet you: Buck Rogers is mine:

Buck Rogers?

The same Buck Rogers who broke that woman out of detention on Zeta Minor?

Well, I had a little help:

I've heard a great deal about you, Captain Rogers:

It's a pleasure to meet you: Maybe we'll see each other again:

Maybe:

Who was she? No one you should be concerned about at all:

Oh, I don't know about that: I thought you'd be on your vacation by now:

Well, I was on my way, but I thought I'd drop off a gift for Dr: Huer first: Twiki?

Hold your horses:

- It's a tree: - Not quite, Colonel:

It's a Ficus decora, commonly known as a rubber plant:

Yeah: Isn't it beautiful? I had to go to three hydroponics labs to find one:

Somebody wanna take this thing?

Sorry, Twiki:

There we are:

Well, I'm extremely touched, Buck,

but I don't think I'd know how to take proper care of such a thing:

Oh, it's a snap, Doc: You just water it twice a week and feed it once a month:

It'll grow on ya: That's just what I'm afraid of:

Well, I gotta get back to packing:

Oh, and thank you again, Buck: It's very thoughtful of you:

- My pleasure, Doc: I'll see you both in a couple weeks: - Enjoy yourself:

Don't do anything I wouldn't do:

Uh, Colonel, I don't suppose you'd be interested in a little added decoration for...

Not on your life: No, no, I didn't think so:

I wish we didn't have to lie to the lieutenant:

It's obvious she cares a great deal for the boy:

I'm afraid we can't let anyone know that we're about to become: : :

Unofficially involved in this case, Colonel:

We can't refuse a call for help, but at the same time,

we cannot violate Federation law, at least not openly:

Are you certain that Roderick Zale is the person responsible for the abduction?

Positive: We've also correlated all of Zale's known hideouts:

There is a 93% probability: : :

That he is holding the president on Aldebaran 2:

Uh-oh:

Perfect place to hide somebody: No law enforcement to speak of: : :

And certainly no stellar authorities to worry about:

Exactly: Now we've arranged a cover for you: : :

As a technician in the general service center in the capital city of Barony:

Take this voiceprint of Zale's and pinpoint his location:

And remember, you have but one week to locate Hieronymus Fox: : :

Before his abductors kill him:

Piece of cake: [Clicks Tongue]

Piece of cake:

I wish someone would tell me what that means:

Hey! Easy on the threads!

Where'd they pick you up anyway, on the remainder table?

By all means, Koren, treat our guest with some respect:

After all, he's about to make us all rich men:

Greetings, Mr: President: My name is...

Your name is Roderick Zale:

Your specialty is political abduction,

and your modus operandi sticks out like a sore thumb:

Half the galaxy probably knows you're the one who snatched me:

You're as perceptive as I was told:

How much you askin' for me?

A reasonable price:

Six thousand kilograms of pure quadrillium:

Ain't no way the Genesians are gonna cough up that much loot, pal:

I don't even think we got that much quadrillium on the whole planet:

Then they'd better find it somewhere: : :

Or within a week, their technological miracle worker will die:

Aw, come on, Zale:

I'm worth more to you alive than dead any day of the week:

Even if the Genesians don't pay up,

you can make a fortune selling my brains to the highest bidder:

So don't give me any of that Dr: Doom jive:

You better take pretty good care of me: : :

If you know what's good for you, starting right now:

Now then, first of all, there's food:

I have what you might call a voracious appetite:

General Service provides a complete line of food discs and soy supplements:

Food discs? Are you kidding?

I mean real food: : :

Like French fries, milk shakes, cheeseburgers:

- Cheeseburgers? - An old 20th-century delicacy:

Meat patties made from an extinct animal called a cow:

In a pinch, though, you could use a Rigellian mountain lizard:

- Mountain lizard? - Call the service center:

Get him whatever he wants: Just don't bother me with it:

Now then, for breakfast, I usually like scrambled eggs with peppers and onions:

An onion is a bulbous plant that you grow in the dirt:

Wait till you hear what's in the milk shake:

All right, enough already!

I feel like I'm in a department store:

How about giving me some of my music?

That's better:

Much better:

God bless Dr: Junius and the archives:

Come in:

Well, hi:

Lieutenant Cyrton, isn't it?

That's right: With the rain of Shambala

What exactly is that?

Three Dog Night: The what?

Never mind: Listen, I hope you don't think I'm being rude, but my flight leaves in 20 minutes:

I'm meeting someone on Regulus 5:

I really wish I had more time to talk to you: Oh, that's all right:

I don't have time for an extended conversation either:

Well, maybe we can get together when I get back...

Aw:

Why'd you do that? Like I said, Captain,

I don't have time to convince you to come with me:

That's all right: I really like you better this way:

Where're we going? To rescue the president:

Oh, right, right! Rescue the president:

What president? Hieronymus Fox, President of Genesia:

Ask a silly question...

Lieutenant, this better be a joke:

And if it is a joke, it better have one great punch line: No joke, Captain:

I'm sorry I had to do it this way,

but from all I've heard, you're the best man for the job,

and I'm going to need the best if I'm to recover Hieronymus:

I mean, the president: Well, look, there's something you don't understand:

I'm meeting a lady named Tangie, and if I don't show up, I'm gonna be missed:

Besides, whenever we land, wherever we land,

I'm just gonna hightail it out of there no matter how many hypos you pull on me:

So why don't you just save yourself a lot of trouble, pull this ship around and take me back to Earth right now?

Captain, Hieronymus Fox is not a native Genesian:

He's from Old Earth, 20th century:

Your time: You're kidding:

He was a child genius:

He graduated from college at the age of nine,

got his Ph: D: In physics at the age of 10:

When the holocaust began,

he created a device to preserve people in a cold sleep:

But it was only an experimental model:

The war escalated, and in the end, he didn't dare risk anyone's life but his own:

If all this is true, then why didn't Dr: Huer tell me about it when I first awoke?

Dr: Huer doesn't know:

After the holocaust, while your civilization was still in ruins,

Earth was looted by aliens:

Hieronymus has been handed down from one generation to another, one planet to another...

So then the Genesians got hold of him, decided he was worth his weight in gold and kept him, hmm?

Do you wonder why we hesitated to open up diplomatic relationships with Earth?

I mean, if you Terrans had known what we'd done...

So why should I help you recover this kid? So you can make him a prisoner again?

Oh, Captain, he wasn't a prisoner:

Hieronymus helped us because he wanted to:

In gratitude, we made him our president:

Now he's been kidnapped: Will you help us recover him?

If he is from the 20th century, you couldn't keep me away:

All right: Do you have any idea where he's being held captive?

My informants say he's being held on Aldebaran 2, somewhere outside the capital city of Barony:

Aldebaran 2: Terrific: Another visit to the Barbary Coast of space:

You know the last time I was there I was almost killed?

Me too: Great place, isn't it?

This trip is gonna be a whole lotta fun:

So, here's the central core of our operation:

The nerve center, you would call it:

From here we dispatch food, supplies, fuel and power to all the surrounding territories:

I'm not going too fast for you, am I, Deering?

I mean, I know you organic life-forms need lots of time to assimilate information:

I wouldn't want to strain your synapses:

I was just noticing your vid-screens:

I take it they're monitoring all incoming requests for supplies from private residences?

Oh, very good, Deering:

They didn't give you that degree in electronics for nothing, did they?

Now, if you're through belaboring the obvious,

I want to show you where you'll be stationed: Please:

Nolan! Caulkins! Break time is over:

Don't you humans ever get done eating? Organic scum:

You've got to watch them every minute:

Okay, Deering, here's your station:

We'll start you right at the top with the garbage:

You'll monitor the rate at which the sewage flows under the city:

- Wonderful: - I knew you'd like it:

Oh, and, Deering, I like to keep an eye on my workers:

It makes me feel more secure:

So if you slip up, I'll know about it:

Excuse me: Mr: Koren? Yes:

Well, you certainly fit your description:

M: D: Toman: I'm here to see Mr: Zale: Oh, yes: He mentioned it:

What is it you do again, Mr:

Toman: Well, you might say I'm in pest control:

Right this way:

Thank you:

What is that? Transport tube: Sends out supplies from Barony:

- Oh: - Where do you come from anyway?

Lansing 12:

Never heard of it: Must be one of the lesser quadrants: Not really:

The entertainment discs you wanted:

Koren, you got the manners of a sand squid:

I try:

Keep an eye on him and don't let him out of your sight:

Mr: Zale, someone to see you: Well, of course:

You must be... M: D: Toman:

Pleased to meet you: Well, well, come in, come in:

Come in, Mr: Toman: Sit down: You're just in time:

I just had a call from the spaceport:

The president's bodyguard, Dia Cyrton, is here on Aldebaran:

She's acquired the services of a Terran named Rogers: Buck Rogers:

Obviously they plan to rescue our prisoner:

- Oh, I can take care of them: - Don't be ridiculous, Koren:

That's what Toman is here for:

I have the exclusive services of Mr: Toman for a week:

- You mean he's going to... - Kill them:

Mr: Toman is going to kill Dia Cyrton and Buck Rogers:

All my informant knew was that Zale was within 50 kilometers of Barony:

That makes sense: None of the transport tubes extend any further out from the city than that:

Do you have any idea how we can narrow that radius down a bit?

Well, I was told there might be someone here who could help us:

He's an information broker: He comes from Dyson 3, and his name is...

Looking for me?

Over here, by the trylon table:

I could've sworn I heard that voice in my head: You did:

Over here:

Selmar?

I was given your name by... I know who gave it to you:

Yes, well, my name is... Dia Cyrton, Lieutenant in the Genesian Starfleet:

And Buck Rogers, Captain, Earth Defense Directorate:

Yeah: We're looking for... Roderick Zale:

Captain, there's nothing you can tell me that I didn't know the moment you stepped into this room:

Unfortunately, I can't help you:

Not that I wouldn't like to for the right price:

I have money, as much as you need:

Lieutenant, that isn't the point:

Unless Zale or one of his people comes into my psionic range...

we should say 50 or 60 meters... I can't tell you anything:

Even telepaths have their limitations:

I see: Well, if you happen to hear anything...

You'll be staying at the Hotel Barony:

Yeah, right:

Guy must be a blast at cocktail parties:

I heard that:

Well, it's about time:

I've been waiting for you:

Boy, these people have got a lot to learn about making cheeseburgers:

Whew!

- Hey, CurlyJoe: - Why do you keep calling me that?

No reason: These cruddy earphones you got me are defective:

- What do you mean, defective? - See for yourself:

Pleasant dreams, Curly:

Thirty-fourth and Lexington, and step on it:

Cyrton and Rogers were seen at the casino on Darkover Street:

Toman should be arriving there shortly:

And ifToman doesn't kill them? He will:

But even if they escape, they'll just be walking right into our hands:

Oh! Sorry, fella: Excuse me: Let me give you a hand with that:

Just who do you think you are anyhow? Look, it was an accident: I didn't mean to spill it on you:

You're going to be an accident in a minute:

You know, it really hurts me that you won't accept my apology:

Well, if you're gonna be contrite about it, apology accepted:

He sure put you back in line: Yeah: Barely escaped with my life:

Look, I've been thinking: We ought to be able to find Zale's hideout: : :

Through a little aerial reconnaissance:

But how?

You told me that Zale has a squadron of starfighters at his disposal:

That must mean he has a private flight hangar as well:

We could use the heat sensors on board your ship: : :

To detect any unusual energy sources in the area and...

Yeah? Excuse me: Are you Captain Rogers?

That's right: Good:

Sorry:

Can't let you do that:

I'm terribly sorry about this, Captain, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you:

You're sorry?

He must be from Lansing 12, heavy gravity planet:

- Knock him out! - I'm trying!

Why, you little jerk!

Hold it:! You can stop running now:

You're safe: Where'd you come from?

I have that information you wanted,

concerning Roderick Zale and President Hieronymus Fox of Genesia:

But how? Five minutes ago, you didn't know a thing:

True, but three minutes ago, Mr: M: D: Toman,

that formidable little man back there,

walked into the casino, and I took a good long look into his mind:

He works for Roderick Zale:

I can tell you your president's exact location: : :

For, say, 3,000 credits:

Here: Now where is he?

In a private home located 36 kilometers south-southwest of Barony:

Here, let me implant the exact coordinates in your minds:

- There: Thanks: Whew!

What's the security like around Zale's place?

Close to impenetrable:

Terrific:

Well, at least we know where your president is:

I'd like to remind the committee that I appear here today: : :

As a courtesy, not an obligation:

This is Residence 473, Sector -l: '-

We would like to order another 40 cubits of soy supplements...

This is Resident 742, Sector -J:- What's the idea taking four days to...

This is Residence 439, Sector -C:-

This is the third time I've called in:

Uh, this is Residence 747, Sector -D:-

Listen, I'm sorry to bother you, but you know that chute...

Dr: Huer, I've punched in our voiceprint of Roderick Zale:

The computer is comparing all voices recorded here within the last week:

Excellent: And your cover is still secure?

Affirmative: I'm probably taking a chance: : :

Coming in here this early in the morning,

but it's the only chance I've had so far:

I'd like to remind the committee that I appear here today as a courtesy, not an obligation:

- Bingo! - Bingo? What?

One of Buck's expressions: It means -I think I found it:-

You mean the computer has found a match for Zale's voiceprint?

There's a:007 deviation between the two prints:

I'll have to run a tracer to triple check: Deering out:

Deering, who are you talking to?

Uh, I don't know what you're talking about:

Yes, you do, and I know exactly what you're up to:

You're using those monitors: : :

To find out when those rich people's houses outside of town are empty: : :

So you and whomever you're working with can rob them, right?

Uh... Uh...

You humans are all alike:

Always scheming to take something away from one another:

That's what I like about Aldebaran:

It's the kind of planet that destroys your faith in human nature:

Where are you going?

Oh, don't worry, Deering:

I don't care what petty thefts you're up to:

It just confirms my opinion of the lower organisms:

There must be an easier way to reach Zale:

As a matter of fact, I think there is:

What about the maintenance android?

Come on:

Halt!

That transport is city property!

Halt! That transport is city property!

Halt! That transport is city property! Send me a letter:

City property! Halt! That's city property! Halt!

Okay, M...

Oh, no:

It must be that way:

He turned that vid-player we gave him into some sort of sonic pacifier:

Now, how he got out of the house, I have no idea: I should have known better:

But because he looked so harmless, I underestimated the president's resourcefulness and his genius:

He could have slipped through a window, which means he's somewhere down on the grounds right now:

In that case, he'll never make it past the photon shield:

But I don't want him injuring himself on our defenses:

Toman, go down into the woods: Find Hieronymus Fox:

And this time, do a more efficient job than you did with Rogers and Cyrton:

Yes, Mr: Zale: You too:

I want that boy found:

Move!

I hope Zale doesn't know we're on our way:

If he does, he'll move Hieronymus to another location:

I wish that didn't make so much sense:

Oh, boy: What is that?

I'm sure I could deactivate the force field from the other side:

If there were some way to get around the light poles...

Instead of around it, how about over it?

What? Come on:

Haven't you ever heard of the Flying Wallendas?

No, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what you're talking about:

- You okay? - No problem:

I always thought my elbows were my least attractive feature anyway:

Well, you said this mission was going to be exciting:

That was me, wasn't it?

Ah:

There we go:

Okay:

From here on, it's all uphill: Oh, terrific:

Dr: Huer, I've traced Zale's call:

He's located in a private residence 36 kilometers south-southwest of here:

Uh-oh: The morning shift is coming back in:

I'll check back with you again on my way to Zale's: Deering out:

Gee, did anybody get the number of that spaceship?

Uh-oh: Uh...

Uh, hi, there: I bet you're wondering what I'm doing in your parcel bin:

Actually, I'm not a real person at all:

I'm a doll: That's it: Uh...

A preprogrammed cybernetic doll: My name is Ken:

Mr: President, are you all right?

Uh, before I answer that, whose side are you on?

Yours: Colonel Deering from the Earth Defense Directorate:

How did you get away from Zale?

Nothing to it: I just did a quick impersonation of a sack of groceries:

Well, I guess I'm a little late:

Nope: You're just in time:

Now, my bodyguard, Dia Cyrton, is here on Aldebaran:

She and somebody named Buck Rogers are on their way to Zale's place right now:

- Buck? - Yeah, and if we don't get back there and help them,

they're both gonna get wasted:

You know what "wasted" means?

Yes: I've heard the term before:

Okay, here's what we've got to do:

Now, first: : :

Get me out of this bin, please:

What's that? It's called a photon shield:

A 25th-century minefield:

Yeah, except that the entire field is a mine:

One step, and we'd be paralyzed instantly:

Unless I use this, that is:

Very nice:

Some sort of energy-damping device?

It's only temporary, I assure you: Well, let's keep moving:

Well, what have we here? Trespassers!

Hello again, Captain Rogers:

I believe we have some unfinished business to settle:

Hold it: They may know where the kid is:

We'll take them up to Zale: Then you can do whatever you like with them:

I wonder what Moses would've done:

The Genesian government has just received another warning from the kidnappers,

repeating their threat to kill the president at the end of this week:

They're bluffing: I just left Hieronymus 20 minutes ago:

- You mean you've already freed him? - More like he freed himself:

Well, then you're on your way back to Earth:

Not exactly: Lieutenant Cyrton got Buck involved in this somehow:

They're up in Zale's stronghold right now:

I can only hope and pray they're still alive:

Good heavens: What a bummer:

I see: And you're going to their aid:

Where did you hide the president?

Well, I didn't exactly hide him:

Hieronymus got a chance to study Zale's defenses,

and the only way to penetrate them is to deactivate them from the inside:

And the only one who could sneak in and do that is...

No: No, Colonel: I don't want to hear this:

I don't want to have to tell the Genesian government: : :

That their president is walking right back into the peril that we're supposed to get him out of:

He knows what he's doing: He's sneaking in there the same way he got out, through the transport tubes:

Besides, it's his decision:

Lieutenant Cyrton is his friend, and we have to do something or she and Buck will die:

Well, in that case, I understand, Colonel:

Just keep me apprised of your progress:

- And be careful: Huer out: - Deering out:

Well, what do you think?

I believe Colonel Deering and Captain Rogers have the situation well in hand:

He also believes in the Easter bunny:

Oh, Buck, I'm sorry: If I'd known all this would happen, I never would've gotten you involved:

That's all right: Don't worry about it: I make my own decisions:

Besides, it's not over with yet: Yes, but...

Dia, be quiet:

Inside:

We're not gonna tell them where the kid is, and that's that:

Yes, but, Buck, they'll kill us: The woman's right, Rogers:

If you do know where the president is hiding down there, you better tell us:

Otherwise, you'll both die very shortly:

And if we do tell you, we'll probably still die, won't we?

There are many ways to die...

long and short:

Now, once again,

where is the boy?

As a matter of fact, we don't know:

We were sent here to rescue him, and we can't find him:

You know something, Rogers?

I think you really don't know where the president is:

You want us to think you do to postpone the inevitable, that's all:

Take them down to the hangar:

It's a good, long walk down there:

If they know anything, they may change their minds on the way:

And if they don't? Then activate one of my starfighters: : :

And place them directly in front of the ion stream:

That should dispose of their bodies: : :

Quickly and neatly:

Let's go:

Send out the next warning to Genesia on schedule:

We can't allow them to think anything has gone wrong:

What is it?

It's lizard meat from Rigel 4:

More of the kid's weird food:

Let it rot: This is absurd:

A ten-year-old child can't elude us forever:

I'm ordering every guard we have down there:

We'll find him if we have to defoliate the entire forest:

Another few hundred meters, and we'll be in the flight hangar:

Would you mind getting that door, Captain?

- Do you mind if I ask you something? - Not at all:

- How does one become a... - Terminator?

- Yeah: - That's quite a long story:

You see, on my world,

people grew stronger muscles to compensate for the heavier gravity:

And to tell you the truth, on my planet I'm considered somewhat of a weakling:

Hmm: And on planets with lesser gravity?

I can do this:

You see, I realized early in life: : :

I could either stay on my world and be a librarian: : :

Or go off-planet and put my talents to use:

Now, if you don't mind,

the door:

Attaboy, Hieronymus: Thanks:

Going somewhere, Mr: President?

Alert:! Security androids, report to guard posts:

What is that? You're asking us?

Listen, if you want to go check it out, we'll promise to wait:

Until I find out what's going on, we'll keep moving:

Well, your shoes are untied:

Alert:! Security androids, report to guard post: Alert:!

See? I told you you could knock him out:

Son of a gun: Come on: Let's go find your president:

Koren to Zale: Come in, Zale: Mr: Zale! Mr: Zale!

Maybe he slipped back under his rock:

Shut up, or so help me, I'll kill you right here and now:

I think she might have something to say about that:

That one is almost as old as you are:

Old but true, Mr: Koren:

Mighty nice shootin', Colonel:

Thank you, Mr: President:

Man, I haven't tasted food like that in 500 years:

Yes, it was quite unusual:

What did you say? Chili?

Mexican chili: It's a blend of herbs, spices, vegetables, meat:

Where on Earth did you find the meat?

You don't want to know:

You know, Hieronymus, I'm going to be real sorry to see you go back to Genesia:

You're the first person I've met from my own time: Probably the last:

He's sure the shortest:

You wanna say that again, transistor face?

- What did he say?

He was apologizing, Mr: President:

- No, I wasn't: - Oh, yes, you were:

Do you want to start an interstellar incident?

Do you want the blood of thousands on your pincers?

You know, Buck, I get the feeling you're starting to like the 25th century:

Yeah, I guess I am:

People are people, no matter what century they're in,

and we've got some pretty nice ones here:

Once in a while, I kind of miss the way things were: Don't you?

Oh, sure: I miss cheeseburgers and comic books: : :

And rock music and Saturday morning cartoons:

Maybe things are kind of plastic here, but you can't say they're dull:

I mean, how many people do you know get to live in their future?

I guess you got a point, Hieronymus: Looks like we're both pretty lucky:

By the way, Buck, you never did take that vacation you started off on:

Perhaps you'd consider taking it on Genesia:

That sounds like a good idea: What do you say, Mr: President?

Could I stay at the presidential estate?

Well, I had to turn the presidential estate into a civic center last month:

But I got a little condominium across town you could stay at:

Sauna, hot tub, tennis:

- You play tennis? - Well, not me, personally: My reach is kind of short:

But I instituted it as the new national sport a few months ago,

replacing gladiatorial games:

You gotta watch these people every minute:

Mm: Sounds like some kind of paradise, Hieronymus:

Well, that's what they need me for... to make things better:

Say, how about making some more of that chili?

That last batch was good, but it had way too many scales in it:

Scales? Scales?

Come on, Sandy.

I promised Lang these pictures tomorrow.

We'll be here all night trying to get this thing finished.

Keep your shirt on, buster.

I'll keep my shirt on. You just take yours off.

I've got to get the lines out of my body.

Ha! Don't worry, baby. I'll get the lines out for ya.

Comm'.

Do I have to pose with that ape again?

Well, it's what Lang wants.

Well, he knows he's gonna have to pay me more for this job.

- He knows. - Well, I still don't like it.

He knows that, too.

She knows I mean it, huh, Harmon?

Hey, them were some pretty good pictures you made that day.

Well, the best sellers we ever had.

Sandra got a 100-buck bonus.

Just remember you got one coming.

One of these days, I'm gonna spill the beans on this little deal.

What beans?

Pictures of you from every angle?

Or maybe the pictures of Ajax here whaling the tar out of you.

I'll even give you some prints. You can use them for evidence.

You no good, rotten...

Shut up, you!

Come on, come on, let's get going.

- Want me to help? - No!

No, I can do it myself.

OK, Ajax, come on. Help me move that stuff back over there, will ya?

And look out for the booze.

OK, now, Sandy. Sit down.

Let's make this nice and easy.

Drape it over here.

Bring it across the back. I want you to bring your arms up.

OK.

OK, now, Sandy. Let's start off with, uh,

you know, nice and easy, with an art pose or two.

Give me the hands behind your head. That's right. Give me the hands behind.

Straighten up your back, honey. Pull your shoulders back.

That's a girl. Come on, now. Give me a nice smile.

Come on, come on. That's it. Now hold it.

Now, let's have, urn...

Oh, how about "hands at the glory of sun" bit.

Put your hands up.

Up.

Ajax, tilt that light up a little bit, will ya?

Yeah, that's perfect.

OK... Come on, Sandy.

Let's cooperate a little, huh?

Now you're really a beautiful girl, so let's look that way.

Come on, stretch a little.

That's it. That's it.

Harmon, you're really a great photographer.

Why don't you give this up and try and do something decent?

Why don't you?

You know why.

I'm in this up to my...eyeballs.

Yup. Me too, Sandy.

You know, uh, I'm sorry what I said before.

You know I like you, but...

Oh, what the hell.

Come on! Let's move!

- Or I call Mr. Lang, huh? - Drop dead, you creep.

OK, Sandy. Come on. Let's shoot something interesting.

You know, the stuff that sells?

More of those?

Oh, for...

All right.

But remember, I'm not double-jointed.

Yeah, but the...

The high school kids who buy these pictures think you are.

Let's try anyway-

Tell you what, why don't you try a different angle?

Yeah, that's a good angle.

But I wanna see it from the other side.

Ah, that's, uh... that...that's beautiful.

Now hold it.

OK. Just one more. Anybody got any ideas?

Say, now that's an idea.

Wow!

Wait till Lang sees this one.

Keep that ape away from me!

Harmon? Harmon!

Oh, come on, Sandy. Just a cuddle. You said you'd do it. Let's get it over with.

No, not with him! He...

He what that you don't know plenty about already?

No! No!

Stop it. you gorilla!

Ah, shut up. You know you love me.

Stop it!

Stop it!

Stop it! Stop it!

Harmon! Stop him!

Can't you see what he's doing?

I can see.

All right, Harmon. Let's go to work.

Print up 100 of this one.

And this one.

And this one.

And get rid of the rest of 'em.

What's the matter, Sandra? You got a problem?

Yes, the usual one.

You've certainly seen enough of me by now.

I'm about due for retirement.

Well, let's see.

Sandra, my clear, your, uh...

your modeling has been fairly successful.

Our payroll record shows that including what you've received today,

you have an income,

and please, report it to the Internal Revenue Department,

of nearly $9,000 this year.

Well, you ask Larry.

He says my pictures are getting hard to sell.

Yes, my dear.

I tend to agree with that.

Uh, I think Sandra is right, Mr. Lang. We ought to let her get out.

Well, well!

I didn't know we had a personal interest in this.

Sandra, my dear,

we've, uh, talked about this many times before,

and, uh, this time, I think you've made your point.

You mean I can get out?

Uh, as a model, yes.

But you wouldn't wanna give up all of this nice money, would you?

Harmon, say hello to our new recruiting agent.

Yes, Sandra, my dear.

Your new job will be to find us new, fresh talent.

Ajax will help you.

Ajax has an eye for beauty.

An eye isn't all he has. I want out.

Let me finish, please.

You'll be paid well for your new work.

Our salesmen have been promised a continuous flow of product.

So, if you're unable to find us new, fresh talent,

you'll have to do the modeling yourself.

During the recruitment period,

it might prove helpful

if you pose with the new girl.

Sort of get her over her initial embarrassment.

But understand this.

If you don't secure us the new, fresh talent,

we're going to have to have a broader variety of poses

if you're to do the modeling yourself.

I'll bring her up, but you're gonna have to sell her.

I can't do any more. She's a sweet kid.

Yeah, yeah. She may be,

but, uh, Ajax told Lang, and Lang told me, and I'm telling you.

This is the girl we want.

Now I just do my job, you do yours.

And remember this, this is one way to keep Ajax away from you.

Kim, this is Harmon.

- Hello. - Hello.

Yeah, she's a young beauty, all right.

Harmon, Kim hasn't done very much modeling before.

I told her it didn't matter.

No, no. That doesn't matter.

We're just looking for a fresh, uh... a fresh face.

Well, I don't really know what this is all about.

What kind of modeling is this?

Well, you folks probably wanna talk about this privately.

- Kim, I'll wait in your house for you, all right? - OK.

Well?

Is there anything else?

Mmm-hmm.

You'll do just fine.

Mr. Harmon,

I really don't think I can do this.

Oh, no. Now you let me decide that, huh?

Uh, come around here. Let me see your legs.

MY legs?

You know, your legs, gams, stems.

Your lower extremities? Legs.

Nothing to be ashamed of.

Even some of my best friends have legs.

Look, I don't know if this is right.

What's this all about?

OK, OK. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.

Look, here's the deal. I have this job to shoot.

It's a glamour photograph of shoes and legs are important.

Now, this job should take, 0h, about an hour, and it pays $50 in cash.

Now may I please see whether you have legs or two fence posts

so I can tell whether I even need you for the job?

- $50? - In cash.

OK...

Let's make pictures.

OK, now, Kim, hold it.

That's it. Don't smile. OK.

That's it, Kim.

OK, now. Let's have, uh... let's see. Just one more.

How about the leg up on the chair there?

Put it up.

- Like this? - Yeah, that's right.

Point your toes.

OK.

Now hold it.

That's the girl.

Well, that's it for the night.

You know, Kim?

You're a very pretty girl.

And for being so nice and a good girl, here's your lollipop.

You mean that's all there is? I'm through?

That's all there is to it.

- Unless maybe, uh... - Unless what?

Well, uh...

Unless...

No, no. You wouldn't... wouldn't be interested in that.

Sure I'm interested.

I love working with you, Harmon. You're so creative.

And, gee, I do need the money.

Yeah, that's what Sandra said.

College or something like that, isn't it?

Well, I'll tell ya about the shot.

I, uh... I don't know if you'd be interested in it, but it'll pay another $50.

Of course I'm interested. Tell me.

Well, it's, uh, just bathing suit stuff.

Oh...

On the beach? What?

Uh, yeah. On the beach, uh...

You know, in a studio...

You know, glamour... glamour shots.

It's, uh...

It's for a guy who wants to make a, uh,

a glamour calendar, that's all.

I just don't know.

My father wouldn't like it.

Yeah, well, that's OK. Forget it.

You know, there's plenty of girls around.

It's not like you're leaving me in a hole or anything.

I'll do it.

OK.

Saturday, 10 o'clock.

Another $50?

I'm sure proud of you, Kim.

You're really salting it away.

But what I can't understand is why they pay you so much for merely modeling dresses.

Oh, well, it's my size.

There aren't many girls around that wear this size.

None that pretty, you can bet.

Who's this fella Harmon?

The photographer you're always talking about?

He's an absolute doll!

It's hardly work at all and he's a wonderful photographer.

Maybe he is, but I'll never know. I've never even heard of him.

And where are these pictures you promised me?

Oh, Dad. I can't ask Harmon to make prints specially for me.

I said I'd pay for them.

Are you sure you asked him at all?

Have you told him about the other man in your life? Me.

Oh, Daddy, it's not that way at all.

Well, at this rate, you'll have enough money to go to college this fall.

By the way, what is your next modeling job?

I don't know.

That money is for the job I did last week.

And he hasn't called me lately.

Are you sure he's satisfied with your work?

Oh, I'm sure he is. It's just that...

He isn't asking you to do anything I wouldn't approve of, is he?

Oh, no! Nothing like that!

Don't you think I ought to meet this fellow Harmon?

Daddy, it's just a professional relationship.

I guess I'm glad to hear that.

I'm sure he'll call me again.

I hope he does, Kim.

If you're accepted at Craxton, we will have to have the tuition money ready.

Of course, you can always wait a year.

A year?

Let's not worry.

He'll probably call.

I wish I had enough money so never to have to worry at all.

You've always taken pretty good care of me.

And you know I love you.

Besides, you're the best father I've ever had.

Mr. Lang,

we're gonna lose all our distributors unless we get some new pictures.

We just haven't got a thing to sell.

The boy is right, Harmon.

We've poured a lot of money into this new girl. What's happening?

Well, I haven't called her in a week.

Guess we'll just have to outwait her.

And then, when she gets edgy, we'll just pull her into the net.

- Poor kid. - Look, Harmon,

I think you're on the wrong track with this Kim anyway.

Do you know that she's known all over school as the biggest prude since Queen Victoria?

Larry, you stick to the distribution end of the business.

-Cosi fan tutte as Mozart said.

What does that mean?

It means women are all alike.

Not this babe. Take it from me.

I tried that one myself.

And, uh, if I couldn't make it with her, then nobody can.

Look, boys, our business is pleasure.

Let's do it in front of the camera.

Well, I'm willing if she is.

Harmon, I'll bet you a week's take

that you couldn't take a picture of the two of us that you can sell.

Oh, Larry...

It's OK. It's OK. None of us are gentlemen anyway.

Get out your money, big mouth.

Gee, uh, I'm sorry, Kim, but I just, uh,

don't have any assignments that fit you right now.

Yeah, yeah. I know you need the work, but...

Oh, now, come on, Kim. Certainly you're a good model.

Uh-huh.

What?

Oh, uh...

Yes. Yes. I'm shooting some pictures.

But I don't think you'd wanna pose for these.

Look, Kim, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you come down here, we'll talk about it.

Ooh, no, no, no. Not now, not now.

Make it about 5 o'clock, OK?

Good bye.

Hey, while you're fiddling, Rome is burning.

Your stick's getting cold.

Don't worry. I'll put some more fire under it.

Besides, it's well done anyway.

Hello, loud mouth?

Listen, pole vault down here about 5:30, huh?

Yeah, yeah. Back door.

Yeah, the old cloak and dagger stuff.

OK.

All right.

More contributions to the delinquency of a minor?

Well, now, if she's, uh, anything like you, contributions will be gladly accepted.

I could never do that.

Well, I told you you wouldn't do it.

Haven't you anything else?

Look, sweetie, this job will keep me and whoever does the job tied up for weeks.

It's a tremendous job.

But why does your client have to see me like that?

I told you. This company, uh, they make under things.

And they wanna take a look at you.

First, I got them to settle forjust a photograph of ya,

instead of a personal inspection.

And then I got them to settle for just the upper half.

What if I pose in my bra?

Look, you want me to lose the deal?

Hey, I shouldn't even be discussing this with you.

Look, Kim.

Do you trust me?

I guess so.

Did I tell you that this job pays $500 for two weeks' work?

- $500? - Mmm-hmm.

Well, I hate to have you pass up that money.

Say, I tell you what.

You pose for me

and I'll take some shots of you and then I'll show you the shots.

If you don't like 'em, we won't submit 'em.

Tear 'em up and forget the whole thing.

Sound fair enough?

Look, kid, yes or no. You don't like the deal, you can get up and leave.

There's plenty of models around.

I can't sit here all afternoon, you know?

Where can I...

Back in there.

Just the upper half, you said.

Oh, come on. What is this, a nursery school? Yeah, yeah, sure. Just the upper half.

Get up here, Kim, would you please?

Oh, come on, come on!

I've done enough bathing suit shots of you

to know that you won't be embarrassed to give me that dress.

Yeah.

Give me the rarest thing every time.

Now, as soon as I fix this light, we'll get started.

OK.

Drop.

Get some focus here.

Move a bit to the left.

OK, now let's make one.

Uh, put your hair over your left shoulder.

And give me the hands behind the neck.

That's it. Now look just to the right of that light there.

Now, put your right shoulder back a little bit.

Straighten up now.

Come on. Come on, Kim, smile.

That's it. OK, hold it.

OK, Kim. Now that was fine. Now turn to your right.

That's the girl.

OK, now for this shot, tell you what you do.

Put your, uh... put your hair back in your back then.

Where it was before. That's the girl.

OK, now put your arms upstretched.

Arms upstretched. Come on, way upstretched.

Come on, Kim.

Pull your tummy in, put your arms out further stretched.

Like you're diving. Come on, come on.

Now smile. Hold it. There, that's good.

Uh, I'll tell you what, Kim, uh, let's do that again, huh?

Uh, put your hair over your shoulder.

Your left shoulder there.

And then, you know, back the way you were, arms outstretched.

Who's that walking?

Uh, it's just me, uh, walking around.

OK, now arms outstretched. That's it.

- OK. - Hey, look this way.

Thanks a lot!

Now that'll look good in my scrapbook.

Hey, Kim.

When you're through with your hysterics,

get dressed and get out here.

We've got business to discuss.

That'll be one bet that'll be a pleasure to lose.

You know something?

There's only one other person in this world more disgusting than you.

Who? Ajax?

Mmm-mmm. Me.

Kim! Kim, what's the matter?

Oh, that awful boy, that Larry.

He told me I'd have to pose.

Pose without any clothes or he'd show the pictures to my father.

Oh, that little snake.

Sandra, what'll I do? What'll I do?

Well, first of all, honey, don't get hysterical. It's not gonna help you.

I'm better now.

Sandra, what can I do?

I can't let them show those pictures.

What do they want them for?

Why would Harmon do that? I thought he liked me.

You want my advice? Well, here it is.

You're not going to like it, honey, but hear me out, please?

If you don't go along with these morons,

they're gonna place your bosom all over this town.

Honey, my suggestion is this. Pose for them.

But... but I can't.

Why would they do such a thing?

Do you want them to show those pictures all over town?

Kim, you gotta do it.

They probably won't even use film.

All they want to do is take a good look.

That won't help, Kim. You have to make up your mind.

Snap out of it, honey.

Haven't you ever been looked at by a man before?

You mean without... Of course not.

I don't know what to do.

You really think if I...

It's the only way. I know these kids, honey.

They send snapshots to your father just to be mean.

All you do is turn your head away when they snap the picture. That's all.

I guess you're right.

It's my own fault for posing for Harmon in the first place.

I'll have to go through with it.

But then I'm through with Harmon for good.

Even if I can't go to college this fall.

She's hooked.

Come on! Let's go! Off with the clothes.

Come on, Ajax. Quit acting like the ape you are, will ya?

Look, Kim, I'm truly sorry about this. I gotta...

He's right. We're not here to serve tea.

You know the terms.

No face shots and Ajax leaves the room.

Look, little Miss Bright Eyes,

you're in no position to dictate terms.

You know, uh, you're pretty anxious to show off your body to Harmon, yeah?

Now it's our turn.

If I wanna sell tickets, I'll do it.

Yeah, and another thing, too.

Ajax stays, see.

You're just lucky there aren't a dozen of us.

And, uh, have you ever seen Ajax in action?

He's like a mad bull.

Now you give me a hard time and I'll just correct...

Listen, punk, one more word out of you

and I'll pick you up off the floor with a mop.

Now, this conversation was no part of the deal.

Now, Ajax can stay, but no more of this nonsense.

Ah, who wants her anyway?

You mean I can go?

Uh, no, Kim, I'm afraid not.

Come on, come on. Let's get started here, uh...

Kim, you, uh, better go in the dressing room and get ready, huh?

Go ahead, Kim.

Ah, let her undress here.

You better get going.

OK, is everything ready?

Say, how did I ever get mixed up with you two characters anyway?

You're mixed up all right. I'll tell you that.

You try to get unmixed and you're gonna lose your bankroll.

And about ten years to boot.

You know, you can always make those license plate mug-shots at Leavenworth.

If I do, punk, you'll be right there with me.

Not me, Daddy-O, now, you forget I'm a minor.

And the worst that can happen to a juvenile offender is probation.

Mr. Lang said so.

And I'll tell you the truth. It's, uh...

It's worth it for the dough that I'm making.

You don't want me in these shots, huh?

Why, you moron.

You wanna spoil everything?

You know, she can still walk out until we get these shots.

That stuff we shot the other day isn't even illegal.

Yeah, he's right.

Just, uh, just wait a couple of days.

Now, today you can sit in a dark corner and just, uh, just look,

or, uh, ever else you wanna do, Ajax,

because nobody's gonna be looking at you.

OK, OK. I'll wait till she's ripe. What's keepin' her now? Jeez.

Come on, slowpoke, shake a leg, huh.

Come on.

Come on, Ajax. Cut that out. Come on.

I'm sorry, Kim, but, uh, you better get out here.

I'm about ready.

Could I keep my sweater on until I...

Yes, yes, you can, uh, leave your sweater on, Kim.

Over here, Kim.

OK, OK, off with the sweater.

Pease, give me just a moment.

Oh, what is it with this red carpet treatment?

Who does she thinks she is, the Queen of Sheba?

I said I'd do it and I'll do it-.

You said you'd give me the prints

and all the negatives from those pictures we took the other day.

Yes and here they are.

- All the prints? - All the prints.

But I don't see why you'd want these when the shots we're gonna take today, they're...

I want them.

Look, Kim, I'll give them to you if I have your solemn word

that when you get them, you'll go through with today's poses.

I said I'd do it, Harmon.

Now, Kim, you've got to understand,

if you refuse after I give you these pictures,

I'll have the responsibility of a smashed studio.

Now, you know Ajax when he gets wound up.

I understand.

You have my word.

Come on, what's she doing? When's the curtain going up?

I'm ready.

Soon as I adjust this light, we're good to go.

on... Like, wow!

Wait till I get my hands on that.

Are you finished, Harmon?

No, no, I'm still adjusting the lights.

It'll just be, uh, just a few minutes, Kim.

- What was that? - Uh, nothing, nothing, nothing.

- You took a picture. - No, no, honey.

I was just, uh, just testing the lamps.

Over here.

You shot my face!

Get up-

I said get up!

You get away from her.

Come on, let's get up.

That's enough, come on.

Hey, give me that sweater.

Boy trouble, gorgeous?

No, Daddy. Everything's fine.

You don't look like everything is fine.

I'm just tired, I guess.

Have you heard from that photographer lately?

Well, I...

No. No, I haven't.

I don't know why, honey,

but I think that photographer is what is the matter with you.

Why do you think that?

Now, honey.

Have I touched the wrong nerve?

Why doesn't everyone just leave me alone?

You see this girl who just sat there?

Her name's Kim.

That's her. Kim.

Oh, my God. Look at this!

You're Kim, aren't you?

Excuse me. I forgot that you're a lady who doesn't speak to strangers.

Ain't that right, fellas?

Oh, I don't know if she's a lady but, ha-ha, I got proof she sure ain't no gentleman.

I'm a photographer and I need some special pictures.

I was referred to you.

Larry. You know Larry, don't you?

He said you'd be glad to pose.

- Hello? - Hello, is this Miss She/wood?

Miss Sherwood, are you there?

Yes.

Miss Sherwood, my name is Lang.

L- A-N-G.

I wanna speak with you about something. Are you free to talk?

Yes. What is it?

Miss Sherwood, I understand you've had some difficulty.

I want to help you.

Miss Sherwood, do you hear me?

I wanna help you.

How can you help me?

Well, now, my dear, this, uh, really isn't the kind of thing we discuss on the phone.

But if the names Larry and Harmon mean anything to you,

I suggest we spend a few minutes in conversation.

My dear, let me speak bluntly. You're in trouble,

and I'm the only one who can help you.

Now, pull yourself together and tell me that you understand that.

L... l understand.

Good, good.

I'll have you picked up in 15 minutes.

My office is downtown and there'll be nothing improper.

Don't worry about a thing, I only wanna talk to you.

What do you mean?

Just be ready in 15 minutes.

Get her.

Kim, would you please sit here?

Sandra, you stay.

Kim,

uh, as I explained on the phone, you're in trouble.

And I'm the only one that can get you out.

First of all, I want you to know that I know everything.

I know that you posed for Harmon.

I know that certain pictures were taken of you which, perhaps, didn't flatter you.

I also know what Larry forced you to do,

and that you want to go to Craxton and you need money.

You should understand that if you do go to Craxton,

this little episode in your life will be completely over.

You can forget about it.

The pictures were of someone else.

After four years in college, it'll be a dead issue.

But how can I go to Craxton?

I can't pose for Harmon again.

You can go to Craxton and you can pose for Harmon again.

Kim, you're in trouble. You'd better listen to me.

I won't pose again. I won't! I don't care about Craxton!

They can show their filthy pictures. I don't care anymore!

- Sit down! - I'm leaving.

Don't be a fool. This is the only man who can help you.

I'm getting out of here.

Before you leave, there's something you should hear.

Larry, come in here through the front door.

Yeah, OK.

Yes, Mr. Lang.

Well, well, well.

If it ain't the Queen of Sheba.

Or should I say Lady Godiva.

All right, Larry, stop it.

Now, listen and listen good.

I'm issuing you an order.

If I don't push that intercom in exactly three minutes,

I want you to make up 100 prints of Kim. You got that?

I got it, Mr. Lang.

I'll work overtime on that.

And the first print, the first print, I want it to go to Mr. Sherwood.

Kim's father. Have you got that?

I got it, Mr. Lang.

I'll make sure he gets two sets.

All right, now get outta here.

I said, get outta here.

Now, Kim, you'd better sit down.

We only have three minutes.

It's time for straight talk, Kim.

It's not my fault you posed for Harmon.

It's not my fault you posed for Larry in the nude.

You did it. It's your problem.

It's pretty late to act prissy and prim.

All you kids make me sick.

You act like Little Miss Muffet and down inside you're dirty.

Do you hear me? Dirty!

You're greedy and self-centered and think you can get away with anything!

And you're no better than the girl who sells herself to a man.

You're worse because you're a hypocrite.

And now, Little Miss Muffet is in trouble and she's all outraged virtue.

Well, you listen and you listen well!

You're damaged merchandise and this is a fire sale.

And you walk out of here and your reputation won't be worth 15 cents.

You'll do as I tell you, do you hear? You'll do as I tell you!

I'm sorry.

Sorry for the lecture, my dear, but it was necessary.

Now, listen well.

There are two parts to this.

Some of it you'll like, some of it you may not like,

but it won't hurt you, all right?

All right. Now, let's have the pleasant part first.

You'll be given a paid-up, one-year tuition to Craxton

starting this fall.

What's the unpleasant part?

He didn't say unpleasant.

He said you might not like it, but it won't hurt you.

I guarantee it won't.

Here's what you do for the money.

You'll pose for one day for Harmon.

The shots will be nature studies

with you, Sandra and another girl.

If you do this graciously,

I promise you this will be the end.

Sandra has found some more willing models.

You're in this?

You're the one who got me to pose.

Don't hate me, Kim.

I was worse off than you.

They've got shots of me with Ajax.

'Max?

These shots with you are my last.

Mr. Lang is letting me get out.

Kim, you're lucky.

They don't have pictures of you, with a man.

Let me make a point, my dear.

Ajax... What's the word? Mmm, lusts.

He lusts after you.

He wants to be in pictures with you.

I could've insisted that you do this, but I'm a gentleman.

Well, what's your answer?

Let me ask you one question.

Is Harmon in this with you?

What do you think?

Yes. What do you think?

Mr. Lang, I've learned a lot right here this afternoon.

I guess I've grown up.

I'll do what you say,

but if this isn't the end, I'll have to tell my father to call the police.

Do you understand? I mean it.

I know you do, my dear.

And I respect your view.

Larry, no prints of Miss Sherwood.

You got that? No prints.

And now, I think we can stand adjourned.

Marie, uh, you'd better be careful.

I don't care anymore. I'm through.

I'm going to the police.

If I can turn chief evidence, they can't do much to me.

Don't worry, Sandra, I won't tell about you or Harmon.

But Larry, that Mr. Lang, and Ajax.

They deserve what they're gonna get.

If they find out?

I don't care.

By the time they do, they'll be under arrest.

That Ajax shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets.

I'm gonna blow a whistle on this operation once and for all.

Marie, be careful.

Too late for that now, baby.

Ajax.

Ajax, Marie wants to leave us.

I think you wanna persuade her to stay.

I'm your boy.

One word and it's twice as hard on you. We don't like quitters.

Please! I wasn't gonna do anything, please.

We was gonna give you a choice. Me or this.

But now, I'm gonna give you a present. Both.

No.

One more peep out of you and you get twice as much, you understand?

Let me go. Let me give what you want.

Now, do you understand?

Stand up.

Stand up!

Get onto that bed!

Get me the police.

OK, Shirley, that's it.

Have fun.

You about ready for Ajax?

Bring him on. I'm ready, willing and able.

OK. Go ahead, Ajax.

OK, you guys can start anytime.

OOH...

Whatever you can do, I can do better.

- Oh, yeah? - Now, don't look at the camera.

Better her than me.

Well, Sandra, is, uh, is Kim here with you?

Yeah, I let her in with my key.

She's back in the dressing room with the other girl.

Uh, OK, um, that's all. I ran out of film.

Come on, Ajax, cut that out.

Aw, man. I was just getting started.

I said cut it out!

You can finish it later, lover boy.

Eh, who wants to?

Say, stick around, will you, please, Shirley?

I have some other shots with another girl.

I'd like to get 'em out of the way as quickly as possible.

Sandy, would you go get Kim, please?

Don't bother. I'm here.

- Well, Kim, I, um... - Please don't.

Where do I stand?

Over there.

Ajax, get out of there.

You've made enough pictures already. It's my turn now.

I said, get out of there.

And I said it's my turn.

Come on, lover. I'm ready.

Not you, baby.

Her.

The rest of you, scram! Beat it!

Ajax, I'm warning you. Stay away from her.

I'm warning you, get away!

I've been watching. I want her!

That, ladies and gentleman...

...is that.

For all of us.

All except you, Kim.

Here, I got something for you.

It's the negatives of all the shots I've taken of you.

And here.

As for today's award winners...

Now, listen, you...

You get out of here and you weren't here tonight.

Remember, you weren't here tonight.

You still say it was self-defense.

We've heard that one before.

Why did you hit him three times?

Well, you saw the size of that moose. It took three times to get him down.

I was only protecting myself. That's all.

Let's start all over again. Maybe we can get the truth out of you.

He was trying to attack a girl, I tried to stop him,

he attacked me and I defended myself.

And you just happened to have a bat laying around?

It was for a photograph. It's just a prop.

No more, it ain't. It's evidence, now.

What about this girl?

Well, she's a girl with blonde hair...

What happened to this girl?

Well, she, uh, she ran.

I suppose she can verify this story.

Yeah, yeah, if you can find her.

What's her name?

Uh... I don't know.

First time she ever posed for me.

You don't expect us to swallow that?

I don't expect you to swallow anything.

Look, friend, we knew this character.

He was a bum, and from his size and reputation,

you'd have no trouble proving self-defense if you can produce the girl.

Why don't you save yourself a lot of trouble, like a trip to the electric chair?

Now, where is she and what's her name?

I told you, I don't know where she is.

- Well, I do. She's right here. - Well, Sandra...

Now, who's this?

Everything he says is true.

That maniac tried to attack me.

Harmon defended me.

If you give me that baseball bat, I'll give Ajax one more for the road.

He was in this pornography ring with a man named Lang.

There's nothing like a nice feminine dame.

Let's make a trip to see this fella Lang.

How come this guy would risk his life defending you?

Because... Because we're engaged.

Yeah, just when did you two become engaged?

Today.

Are you sure?

All right, burn everything.

Burn everything and then blow.

Larry, get in here fast.

ls something up, Mr. Lang?

Ajax is dead. Harmon killed him.

I don't know what's going on, but it's every man for himself. Here.

- You buy yourself a ticket to outer Mongolia. - But, but...

Don't "but" your head against this stone wall, my boy.

A wise general knows when to retreat.

Oh, wait. While you retreat, what'll I do?

Well, first you burn everything.

And then you buy yourself a huge supply of food

and you head for an all-night movie.

That's about the only place I can think of where the police might not look for you.

Wait a minute, is this all?

That's it. We're out of business, lad.

Now, wait a minute.

You mean, you're out of business, Mr. Lang.

But now I got a feeling that you're gonna give me more money.

More money, like, now.

You intuition is faulty, my lad.

I All right, 'ets Stop playing games, Lang.

Either I get more loot and I mean lots more loot,

or I buzz the fuzz,

which to squares like you means I call the cops.

You forget, my boy, that if you call the police,

it'll do you a lot more harm than good.

Oh, no.

Don't you remember? Well, you told me yourself.

I'm a minor.

The most I could get as a juvenile offender is a year's probation.

But you, Lang, you, you get five years.

Well, that's five years of making little bitty rocks out of great big ones.

So, uh, do I get the money?

In words of one syllable, kid, no!

All right, Mr. Lang. It's your funeral.

No, no, my boy, it's your funeral.

What, what...

Operator, operator. Trace this call.

In a way, I'm sorry they're all dead.

But I guess they got what they deserve.

Look, Kim, it's all over and done with. Try and forget it.

Try and forget the whole sordid mess.

Just like it was a... Well, a bad, bad dream.

You know, like it never really happened.

I don't know if I ever really can.

But I owe you and Sandy an awful lot, Harmon,

for not getting me involved with the police.

No, Kim, we owe you an awful lot.

Why, you turned us back into human beings instead of a pair of animals.

You know, Harmon, this is the first time I've ever seen you wear a tie.

What's that? Well, I had to get dressed up.

I'm going to a wedding.

- Oh... - Goodbye, honey.

Good luck.

For every girl who escapes the trap, another falls into it.

Only an alert society can rid itself of those who prey upon human weakness,

the scum of the Earth!