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Wait, one...

Wait, two...

Three...

Hey, what's up, everybody? I'm Thurgood Jenkins.

You know, it's funny; but, I can trace the entire path of my life

to one childhood memory.

My last clear memory, really.

You see, it was the summer before ninth grade.

There was me, Brian, Kenny, Scarface and, of course, the loveable Old James.

Oh, hold on.

Wait a minute, Old James... Old James wasn't there.

I don't even know nobody named Old James. Shoot.

Go on!

Why don't you light it up there, brother?

All right. Here goes nothing.

I don't remember graduating.

And my first sexual experience, I don't remember that either.

But, man, I will never, ever forget

the first time I smoked that sweet, sweet chiba.

- Feel anything? - Yep.

I feel my chest caving in.

- Man, this stuff didn't even work. - Man!

Come on, let's just go get some candy and get out of here, B.

You know, I've heard people say

they don't get high the first time they smoke.

Not me. No, not us.

We were really, really high.

We was toe up!

You guys feel different?

A little.

How about you, Scarface?

How you doing, Kenny?

Kenny?

I haven't been so thirsty in my entire life.

Do you guys hear that?

Feels like Jerry Garcia's in my head.

Am I going crazy?

We look at that day as the day we met the fifth member of our crew,...

marijuana!

Oh, Lord! We was hooked.

So now we all live together in New York.

I myself am a master of the custodial arts.

Or a janitor, if you wanna be a dick about it.

Anyway, I work at this lab,

Frankensense and Burr Pharmaceutical.

They do pharmaceutical testing

for the government and big corporations and...

And I am the happiest custodian alive.

♪ To the water ♪

This job... sucks.

Abba-Zaba...

you're my only friend.

It could be worse.

I could have Scarface's job.

Heifer with cheese.

You son of a bitch, I'm right behind you!

Turn around and ask me for Heifer with cheese, yo!

Why you gotta make me feel inferior cos I'm on the grill, B? Damn!

Scarface is kind of a hyper guy for a pothead.

Sorry.

Kenny is probably doing the best out of all of us.

He's a kindergarten teacher at some school downtown,

which I know might scare a lot of parents, seeing as how he's a weedhead and all.

Let me tell you, man.

That guy does wonders for those children's self-esteem.

- Thank you. - Oh, I love you so much, little one.

All of you. All of you are so good.

Brian works at a new and used record store.

He gets to talk about music all day.

Perfect job for a stoner.

Lady, you want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record?

- I'll give you five. - Uh-uh, he autographed it himself.

All right, I'll give you four.

Jan, stop it, man.

As far as herb goes, you can get it all over this town.

I mean, they might call it the city that never sleeps,

but, I'll tell you this:

it takes a lot of fucking weed naps.

Free!

You can get the stuff at a little corner stores called "bodegas".

Say it with me.

Bodegas.

Yes, very good.

You can tell these places because they always have incredibly old products.

But, the weed ain't bad.

Let me get four dime bags, huh?

I don't have no idea what you're talking about.

Jose, you're crazy, man. You're crazy.

Come on, man, let me get them dimes.

See, the problem with bodegas is they never remember you.

You always have to do something extreme

to let them know that is you when you're cool.

Hey, fellas. Y'all know me. Come on, now. Look at this.

Hey, black ass!

Why you didn't moon us earlier, heh?

It's a little degrading.

If you're desperate, you can get it from the Rastas

at Washington Square Park.

But, their stuff ain't even weed most of the time.

I don't fall for that shit any more.

Then there's a delivery service run by a guy named Samson Simpson.

Yeah, when you can afford it, this is the best way.

I mean, you can get anything you want, from weed to heroin.

Now, I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.

Coming.

See, all you have to do is call them up, and a half-hour later,

you got a delivery guy at your house.

What a country!

Hi, you called about your plumbing? Something about empty pipes?

Secret code. Come on in.

- You want highs, mediums or lows? - How are the highs, man?

I'd say they got kind of a piney taste, almost minty.

- Notice the little red hairs? - Yeah.

- And the rich greenery? - I see those.

It's definitely the highest grade hydroponics in the city.

What, did you go to weed college? Damn, nigger.

All right, give me a 50 bag of that.

- Been a pleasure. - Pleasure's all mine.

- Tell Samson I say hello, would you? - Sure thing.

Everybody has their own little ritual when it comes to smoking.

- Dope has arrived, fellas. - And we were no different.

- Break out Billy Bong Thornton. - Yeah!

Whoo!

Billy, good to see you, man!

- Yeah! - All right, light it up.

Shoes off.

Oh. Brian, put yours back on, man.

For real, amigo. Do your sock laundry, yo.

Gentlemen,...

assume your positions.

At last.

Fire in the hole.

- Yo, who's on munchies tonight, yo? - Not me.

I guess that'd be me.

What do you guys want?

- Get some... - Oh!

sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man.

Some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice-cream bars.

A whole lot of them. Make sure it's chocolate.

Gotta have chocolate, man.

Some popcorn, bread popcorn. Graham crackers.

Graham crackers with the marshmallows, little marshmallows, little chocolate bars.

We'll make smores, man!

Yeah, that's what I was saying, yo!

Also celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch, with the little crunch berries.

Pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man. Everything on 'em.

With water, a whole lot of water.

And...

Funyuns.

Yeah.

- That's it? - Yeah.

Anyone want anything else?

Oh, yeah. Get me a box of condoms

and um... what's that stuff?

We used to eat it all the time back in the day.

Pussy! That's right.

- You got it. - Thanks, man.

And, hey...

If I'm not back in ten minutes,...

call the police.

If he ain't back in ten minutes, we callin' Domino's!

- I'm hungry, man. - All right, yo.

Hey, girl! You hungry?

Fuck you, nigger!

Hey, I'm sorry. I was talking to the horse here.

You see the trouble you're getting me into?

You're hungry, aren't ya? Here.

Oh-h! Huh-h?

You like popcorn.

It makes your teeth go pop, pop, pop, pop, pop!

This is Buster Phillips and coming in at No.8 like El Niño.

"Samson Gets Me Lifted" by my main man!

Who? Sir Smoka Lot.

Rrrrrr!

This guy is weed crazy!

- Look at that! - What do you want, master?

Bitch, you know what I want.

♪ I wanna talk to Samson! ♪

♪ Fly me to the moon ♪ ♪ like that bitch Alice Kramden! ♪

♪ Cos it's hard bein' black and gifted! ♪

♪ Sometimes, I just wanna throw ♪ ♪ it all down and get lifted! ♪

That is so cool, man. He got the same dealer as us.

Who do you mean?

Samson!

Oh, right.

♪ Everybody knows in my neighbourhood ♪

♪ It's the bestest around ♪

♪ Samson's shit is blessed ♪

♪ Got the whole town on lockdown ♪

That's where I wanna to live. Right there.

It is horrible, yo.

♪ Legalise this shit, please! ♪

I'm all out.

I'm all out of food. You ate it all.

Gee, you must've been so hungry.

- Uh-oh! - Oh!

Buttercup! Buttercup!

I need an ambulance, now! Officer down!

I repeat, officer down!

What the hell did you give my Buttercup?

I just gave him some candy and some chips, some pink popcorn and some Funyuns...

This horse is a diabetic!

Arrrgh!

Buttercup! Buttercup!

Don't you leave me. Breathe, Buttercup!

Breathe, breathe!

Why?!

- Why? - Why?

- You're under arrest. - What?

You dumb son of a bitch!

No!

I'm a... I'm a peaceful man.

- I'm a schoolteacher! - Shut up! You're a cop killer!

Cop killer? I love horses!

- I love horses. - I love horses.

- I love Buttered Stuff. - Buttercup!

- Say it! - Butter nuts.

- Cup! Cup! Cup! - Cup! Cup!

Why must you rage? Stop the hate, child.

Bail is set at one million dollars...

for the crime of killing an officer of the law.

And may God have mercy on your soul, young man.

The court is adjourned.

Back to your cells. Lockdown.

Good night, fish.

Fish! Fish! Fish! Fish...

My weed's wearing off.

Fish! Fish! Fish!

- Guess who! - Yo.

- Psss, psss, psss! - Thurgood!

Oh, ho-ho!

- Hey, nigger, what time is it? - It's 8.30.

Kenny didn't come home last night.

- We are worried, man. - Worried, yo.

Where the hell is he?

Did he just move?

"Kenny called. He's in jail.

He didn't leave a number.

Sincerely, The Guy on the Couch."

Come on, guys. We gotta get Kenny out of jail, man.

Hey, Kenny! How they treating you in there?

Let's just say I'm not gettin' the respect a cop killer deserves.

All right, time's up. Break off.

I was up all night...

getting harassed!

- Hi, there, fish. - See what I mean?

I think they're mistaking my kindness for weakness.

I'm scared!

Hey, Kenny?

We're gonna get you out of there, man.

All we gotta do is raise 10% of one million, yo.

- Which, by our calculations... - Is fucking impossible, man!

- Hey! - Million dollars.

Sorry, man. I'm sorry.

All my life, I did everything right.

I never screwed up.

I fed the horse.

I didn't know it was a diabetic.

I'm scared!

Kenny? Kenny, stop crying.

Stop crying, Kenny! Look at me.

Come on, don't let 'em see you cry in there.

Come on, man. Show me your mean face.

- No. - Yes!

Show me your mean face, Kenny!

That's good.

I mean, will work on it a little bit; but, yeah, it's good.

Kenny, how long can you make it in there?

I don't know.

Maybe, five...

6.30.

Come on, man. It's gotta be a little longer than that.

But, but...

but we'll get you out, right, guys?

- Yeah, you're out. - Right.

- You're outta here. - Free as a bird.

Number nine, time's up.

- Time's up, number nine. - That's me.

Let's go.

I love you guys.

Have fun, Ken.

Weed out there, yo.

- He looked all right, man. - They're gonna kill him in there, yo.

Hey, lady.

Miss, is this your purse?

- Yes. - I'm sexy.

I'm a scholar.

People like me.

Give it to me.

- Bye. - Hey, where are you going?

- I'm leaving. - Well, uh...

can I leave with ya?

Follow me.

- And your name is? - Mary Jane.

Really?

Yes.

So what's up with this? Is that your work uniform?

Nah, this is my costume.

You know, uh, tomorrow I'll be a cowboy, the day after that I'll be an Indian.

Every day of the week, I dress up like a different Village Person.

It's a... thing I'm into.

No, I'm a custodian.

So, what are you here for?

- Possession of narcotics. - Wow.

- My father's a drug dealer. - Wow, that must've been the shit.

- It ruined his life. - That must've been shitty.

I don't do drugs. Drugs make me sick.

They're bad for your body. Up with hope, down with dope!

Thurgood, come on, man. We gotta go.

Get on the train. Toke up before we go to work.

All right, yo. Let's go, B.

What are you doing, man?

Bouncy. Body.

Is that Prell? Do you use Prell?

Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!

Hey, guys.

Meet Mary Jane.

That's what he's sayin'. We wanna burn one.

No, no.

This is Mary Jane.

Meet her. Say hello to her. Shake her hand, even.

- Oh, shit! My fault. What's up, yo? - Hi.

- All right. - Hey.

Ah, liste. Do you guys need a ride?

I have a car. You don't have to take the subway.

- Right! You smoke? - Wow!

No, my grandmother died of lung cancer.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, that's all the more reason to toke up, man.

Ease the pain.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

You know, I think what they... what they're really trying to say is

we'd love a ride home.

Great.

What the hell's wrong with y'all?

- She looked good, yo! - Mary Jane!

- What is that about, man? - I hate y'all.

Shotgun!

Hey, thanks for this ride. We really appreciate it.

Sure.

Hey, guys. You shut up about the weed for two secods, all right?

I don't want this girl to know I smoke.

Yeah, it's bad enough you're a janitor, yo.

Custodian, dick!

- Hey. - Hey.

♪ It's the riddle of Rio ♪

♪ Yes, it's the riddle of Rio ♪

♪ Said I'm looking for brains, ♪ ♪ guts, looks, and skills ♪

♪ Step on up ♪ ♪ if you think you fit the bill ♪

♪ I know what you look like, ♪ ♪ but looks can be deceivin' ♪

♪ Let me tap the brain ♪ ♪ so I can justify the reason ♪

♪ - Yay ♪ ♪ - Mr Funk... ♪

- Is this good for you? - Could you drop me in the lobby?

- It's perfect. Perfect. - I feel she wanted me to say something.

I had to make my move while the guys were sleeping.

I'm, I'm real bad at this kind of thing, but...

you think sometime we could get together,

maybe go out for some ice cream or something? I don't know.

Aggghhh-eee!

Motherfucker said, "Ice cream"!

- Damn. - Okay.

- All the boys in the car need to get out. - Such a dork, man.

Now.

- Thanks a lot, fellas. - I'm talking to you.

- Thanks for the ride. - Thurgood!

- I knew it. - You forgot your hat.

I knew it.

You know, I mighta came on too strong with the whole ice cream thing.

Let me just give you my number. Is that cool?

- OK. - All right.

Now, don't call too late.

Cos you know I be stripping in the evenings!

Joking!

Here you go. You can call me any time you want.

Maybe.

"Maybe" is an acceptable.

It's that "no" thing that gets me.

- Maybe, I'll hear from you. - Bye.

Be thinking about you.

Dr Koplesky, please report to Clinical Studies.

- Dr Koplesky... - Janitor?

- ... clinical studies. - Uh, Janitor?

Ahhh!

Sorry about that.

- What is it, scientist? - Could you... uh?

I know this isn't your responsibility, but...

would you be a dear and run this down to the supply department for me?

- It's on the second floor. - Just run this down?

Uh, yes. But, make sure you bring the order right back to me.

I need it ASAP.

Gotcha.

Hey, I know this isn't your responsibility, but just mop the rest of this shit up.

I'll be right back.

Oh, it smell like uh...

It smell like...

No.

No.

I smell weed, man.

Hey, here you go.

This all you need?

I guess. I don't know.

- Just a sec. - OK.

Damn.

Either someone's having a party or somebody gotta do their shirt laundry.

Here you go.

One pound of marijuana and you can sign for it right here.

I, I sign for this and it's mine?

And I take it?

Oh, yeah!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Some good shit.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank... you.

Look, here. Here's a...

Here's a... little something for your troubles.

- Thank you, thank you. - Shhh.

- Let's not tell anyone about it, OK? - Sure.

Hey, why didn't you tell me you were into this shit, man?

We coulda been hanging out months ago.

No, no,no.

The Food and Drug Administration are having us do a study...

to determine what, if any, are the medicinal purposes of marijuana.

Mmm. Wow!

If you ever need a guinea pig, let me know, you know.

My grandfather was in the Tuskegee experiments.

Oh, really?

Anyway, thank you, janitor. And enjoy.

Thank you, scientist. Got any papers?

No cocktail party would be complete without the ice plant.

Hey, fellas. What's going on?

- Nothing, man. - Bummin', thinking about Kenny.

Yeah.

You know, I got some weed at work today. If y'all wanna try it out.

Nah, yo, we don't feel like smokin' right now.

Me neither.

- This rare plant - Me neither.

belongs to the nicotine family

and we know it as the tobacco plant.

Well, here's a chap contemplating a purchase...

So y'all want to smoke?

- I'll get Billy Bong Thornton. - That's what I'm talking about.

No, Scarface.

No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny. That would not be right. man.

Use Wesley Pipes.

Yeah!

Man, they got whole bunch of this stuff at work.

One of those scientists gave it to me.

Ain't tried the shit out yet, but it smells like the bomb.

- All right! - Yeah, man, yeah.

I'll do the honours.

- Please, do. - Excuse me.

Yo, this shit must be good, B.

My man ain't coughed like that since back in the day, yo.

You sure I should do this, man?

Oh, yeah. That shit made my head hot.

Oh, man.

Pass it this way. Don't break the cipher.

Oh, hold it. I gotta give the Guy some of this.

- The Guy gotta taste this. - Yeah.

- Hey, Guy. - Huh?

Hey, man.

Sorry to wake you, but you gotta try this.

I'm taking it slow, man.

Hey, who's on munchies tonight?

We should make that lazy bitch, the Guy, go, yo.

For real.

I don't know about y'all, but I can't even move.

For real, B, right?

It's like I feel stuck here, yo.

Like I'm glued to the floor.

You guys feel like you're floating?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Wanna go outside?

Yeah.

I don't need to tell you this,

but this weed was the shiz-nittle-bam-snip-snap-sack!

Wow, look at that dude!

Hey, guys?

Let's go check in on Kenny, huh?

You're not a fish.

You're a man.

You're not a fish. You're a man.

Where did that come from?

We really gotta get this guy outta jail.

You walk around on both legs.

Homo erectus!

Did I say "homo"? I didn't mean that!

Thurgood! I love you, Thurgood!

I got it!

I know how we could get Kenny out!

- How? - Weed, man. We'll sell weed.

Man, you can't up and decide to sell weed.

You gotta know people to plug you into that kind of thing.

- I do! - Who you know?

- You, yo. - Me?

What man, you think I can just walk in and take the shit?

I gotta... I gotta get a form from a scientist.

Well, how hard can it be, man? There's gotta be forms laying around.

I mean, they are scientists.

What the fuck are you talkin' about, man?

Look, I'm not stealing weed. We are not selling weed.

- We are reasonably bright young men. - Bully, man.

- Bully, man. - Word, yo.

There has got to be a legitimate way to come up with this money.

We just gotta think. That's all that is.

Hmmm.

Hmm-Hhh.

Hhh.

Wait... Wait... I think I got an idea.

Why don't we sell that shit we smoked the other night, yo?

Yeah.

- You suggested that already. - For real, B?

Marijuana affects the memory.

It won't take us hardly any time, B.

- Too risky, man. - Stop being such a wussy, yo!

What other choice do we have, right?

Yeah.

Okay, fine, fine. We'll do it.

Yeah.

Gonna do it till Kenny's out and we're done.

We're not drug dealers, we're fundraisers.

- Of course, B. - Bully, man.

Okay.

Scarface,...

lay it on me, brother.

Check it out, yo. It's like this...

So, Scarface's plan wasn't that bad.

- Hey, good night, Mike. - See you tomorrow.

Good night...

See, all I had to do was get forms

from that scientist that kept calling me janitor,

forge one of the forms and put the order in like I did before.

Thank you.

Then we scraped together what little money we had

and bought bikes to help us move the product.

And then stapled samples of our weed on the back of our business cards.

Then we called the company Mr. Nice Guy

in honour of our friend, Kenny.

Hey, uh.. you guys believe in angels or...

Man, give me your fruit cocktail.

Well, I can't.

If I did that, then I'd have to give it to you every day and...

I won't get all my vitamins.

- Do you know who you're dealing with? - Chill, Nasty Nate.

He's my bitch.

Anybody gonna stab him, it's gonna be me.

You got a problem with that?

Better watch your back, fish.

Cos Squirrel Master's not gonna be there for you all the time.

Cos next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail...

fruit!

Take it.

I'm somebody's bitch.

You guys gotta do something.

There's this guy Nasty Nate who's after my cocktail fruit, and...

Everyone here likes fresh fish, and...

And then the Squirrel Master came out of left field and...

and told me l'm his bitch. And... Help!

Ken, listen, man. We got a plan.

What is it?

It's not honest, all right? You, you might not like it.

- We gonna sell weed, yo. - Yeah, great. Weed. Good. Go.

- All right, man. - Go!

No more window love. Go and sell it.

We figured the best way to spread the word was to hit the streets.

And hit the streets, we did.

♪ Mary Jane ♪ ♪ How y'all feel about Mary Jane? ♪

♪ Y'all don't know about Mary Jane ♪ ♪ Mary Jane ♪

♪ She's my main thing ♪

♪ So don't listen to what they say ♪ ♪ Cos Mary never could trip ♪

♪ Mary very very necessary ♪ ♪ Extraordinary bein' Mary ♪

♪ To the mortuary ♪

♪ Just one kiss from her sweet lips ♪ ♪ and I become a visionary... ♪

Three for dinner. Ha, ha-ha!

Smoke that and get back to us.

Mr Nice Guy has arrived, baby.

- He's on. - All right!

♪ I'm in love with Mary Jane ♪

- ♪ I'm not the only one ♪ - Oh, yes!

♪ Mary likes to play around... ♪

Look at all these people, man!

All right, guys. Be quick. Let's just do this and get out of here.

- A lot of them, yo. Let's go. - Let's go, man.

It's money.

♪ Mary likes to spread her love ♪ ♪ and turn my head around ♪

♪ I'm in love with Mary Jane ♪

♪ She's my main thing ♪

♪ She make me feel all right ♪ ♪ She make my heart sing... ♪

- All right, how did you guys make out? - Good. I'm out of cards, B.

Oh, me too.

That would make three of us.

All right. We did our part, right?

- Just hope they smoke it. - All right.

# Do you love me, Mary Jane? # Mary Jane

Hell, is everybody...

♪ How do y'all feel about Mary Jane? ♪ ♪ Mary Jane ♪

♪ She's my main thing ♪

♪ What do y'all know about Mary Jane... ♪

- Damn, this weed is good! - Yeah!

♪ Y'all don't know about Mary Jane ♪ ♪ Mary Ja-ane ♪

♪ She make my heart sing... ♪

♪ Mary Ja-ane... ♪

This is so.

We are in business, man.

Hole on.

Mr. Nice Guy.

Oh, I may have the wrong number.

Um, is, is Thurgood around?

Speaking.

Oh, hey, hey. It's, it's Mary Jane.

Do you remember I gave you a ride home from prison?

Well, could you be a little more specific? I get so many rides home from prison.

- That was a joke. - Oh.

What happened? I didn't think you were gonna call me.

Well, I wasn't.

But, then I decided I don't care what my friends think.

- See, that was a joke. - Oh.

Get it? A little joke.

Not funny.

So, you wanna get together?

OK, sure.

When?

How about right now?

Just meet me at the place you dropped us off at.

OK. Um... Can, can you give me half an hour?

- Yeah, half an hour's cool. - Great.

- All right. - I'll see you there.

OK.

- Bye. - Bye-bye.

Ha, ha, ha-ha! Ha, ha, ha-ha!

I've got a date with Mary Jane!

- Word, yo! - Yes!

- All right, man. - Good.

Y'all got money?

The date couldn't have come at a worse time, man.

I was flat broke.

All my money was tied up in our drug-dealing venture.

I only had eight bucks.

This was gonna take some careful budgeting and manoeuvring.

- Hi. - Hey.

Watch the master at work.

- You look great. You look wonderful. - Thank you.

You know what? I was thinking, it's so nice out,...

wanna go for a walk?

Yeah, sure.

- We can go for a walk. - Good, good. Let's.

So far, so good.

Three hours and 14 miles later, and I hadn't spent one penny.

Damn, I was good!

- Somebody mean it. - And then it happened.

I'm hungry too.

Hey, you wanna eat at the Happy Palace?

Uh, how about a hot dog, huh?

- Hey, hot dawg! - Hot dawg.

Hey, what can I get you?

Could I have a hot dawg with ketchup and sauerkraut, please?

- Sauerkraut's 50 cents extra. - Damn!

I have not had a hot dog in so long.

- Come on, let's get outta here. - Anything to drink with that?

- Son of a bitch! - Yes. Could I have a Pepsi, please?

- Anything for you, sir? - No. I'm fine. Thank you.

Greedy bastard!

Didn't you promise me ice cream the other day?

I know a really good place uptown.

Great. Let's hoof it.

Um,...

do you mind if we take a cab, this time?

Sure.

Thanks a lot, buddy.

You should be happy with the tip I gave you. Damn!

You should be kissing my ass.

You guys are greedy.

- Best ice cream in town. - Spare change for some food?

Oh.

Don't mind if I do.

- Thanks, young brother. - No, thank you.

- Uh, uh-uh. - Yeah.

I mean, I do miss my dad.

But, he deserves to be where he is.

Drug dealers belong in jail.

Yeah.

Yeah, wow. Yeah.

- Um, how long has he been in there? - Four years, next month.

Four years.

And what exactly was he selling?

Marijuana.

Four years just for weed?! Damn!

Just? No, no, no, no. Not just.

Marijuana is terrible.

It's a gateway drug.

I mean, everybody knows that it leads to other stuff.

Yeah, mostly junk food.

You don't smoke weed, do you?

Come on, Mary Jane. I mean,...

do I look like somebody that would smoke... marijuana?

So, you swear you don't.

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Well, swear on this banana split that you don't do marijuana.

What?

Oh, my...

Do you swear?

Yes, Mary Jane. I swear.

That you got pretty eyes!

That's good.

That's real good.

I got some booty. I got some booty.

I got some booty. You know, it was really good, too.

Ooh, she was a giver, a caring nurturer.

She held me in her arms and it was like I was 15 years old all over again.

I was hooked on Mary Jane.

The next morning, the phones blew up like we were having a fuckin' telethon, man!

Everybody in New York was calling to get down with Mr. Nice Guy.

We met all kinds of customers.

Like this guy here.

He's what we call an enhancement smoker.

Cos he thinks that marijuana makes every activity that much better.

- Mi casa su casa. - Observe.

- You're Scarface, right? - Yeah.

I love Al Pacino, man.

Did you ever see "Scent Of A Woman"?

Yep.

Have you ever seen Scent Of A Woman...

on weed?

That's the way to see it, man! It's just whacked!

Pow!

60 bucks, yo.

That's cool, man.

I got it, I got it.

Did you ever see the back of a $20 bill, man?

No, I don't know, yo.

Did you ever see the back of a $20 bill...

on weed?

Oh, there's some weird shit in there, man

There's a dude sitting in the bushes, man.

Does he have a gun? I don't know, man!

I don't know. What? What?

Red team, go! Red team, go!

Just some weird shit, man.

Man, you're fucking crazy, yo.

- Take your shit. - That's cool.

Thanks, man. Hey, yo, wait.

Dude, I'm gonna check out the stars later.

It's really trippy.

Especially, on weed, man.

A scavenger smoker is someone who never has weed of their own.

But as soon as you smoke it, here they come.

Damn!

- What up? - Man.

What's up, dogs? Scoot over. Let me get in here, man.

- What y'all doing? - Nothin'.

- Nothing. - Yeah, just chilling.

I smell it. Let me inhale it. Let me have some.

All right, man. Just one hit.

You scavenger!

Always come around.

Can't even smoke weed in peace.

I ain't even into the motherfucker yet. Back up, man.

You know we sell this? I don't know if you knew that.?

It's too bad, man. I just stopped smoking yesterday.

I'm gonna get up outta here. Y'all stay up, now.

- Nice seeing y'all. - Yeah.

Yeah.

Then there's the "You Should've Been There" smoker.

They love talking about the old days, back when weed was grass.

Hell, back in the '60s, we used to smoke this shit on the street.

Cops didn't say nothing. Hell, they was getting high, too.

Everybody was doing it.

Mmm. Wasn't the thing to do because it was the thing to do, you know?

It was just the thing to do because it got you high.

- Can you dig? - I, I feel ya, man.

That's why I'm doing it.

- I feel it. - Good.

Man, you're cool as shit, mister.

I hate to do it, but I gotta charge you.

That, that... that's 60 bucks.

- 60 bucks? - Oh, yeah.

Man, I remember when a dime bag cost a dime.

You know what I mean?

You know how much condoms used to cost back in them days?

How much?

I don't know. I... We never used 'em.

We call this kid the After School Special smoker.

He spends all of his allowance on reefer.

Thanks, little buddy.

Now, in the next room, his father, an "I'm 40, But I'm Still Cool"smoker,

is toking up, trying to figure out a way to bond with his son.

Isn't that ironic?

Don't you think?

Of course across town, the kid's nana's smoking up,

trying to ease her glaucoma.

And it's good for arthritis, too.

We made over 20 grand that first week, man.

And because we were stealing the weed, not buying it, it was all profit.

But, if we were gonna save Kenny, we had to deliver full-time.

Scarface quit his job.

Still waiting on that Heifer, Julio.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you. You're cool.

And fuck you. I'm out!

Brian was gonna quit, but they fired him before he could.

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do.

Flip out, man!

All I wanna know is...

who's coming with me?

Who's coming, man? Who's coming with me?

Huh?

Who's coming with me, man?

I will.

Jan.

Thank you, Jan.

Yeah!

That's what I'm talking about! Bully, man!

Yeah!

Bye.

Oh, Jan,

will you be my girlfriend?

I would, um...

but I'm gay, you know?

- Ah. - I'm a big dyke.

What's that like?

Thank you for calling. Thank you very much.

Okay. Bye-bye.

We had to hire that girl, Jan, cos she followed Brian.

But, it actually worked out.

She was a lot more organised than we were

and she was willing to work for weed.

All right, then.

Mr. Nice Guy was blowing up, man.

We got customers from all over New York.

We even stole a few from Samson.

Oh, what's up, nigger?

Come on in, man. Come on, weed man.

Thanks, baby.

Get on. Beat it. You're scaring him.

Yeah...

Sir Smoka Lot.

What can I get you today, Smoka Lot?

Love weed. Um...

Let me get a pound of your sweetest chiba.

Damn!

Something told me to bring a lot of weed, man!

Aw, shit.

A pound of my sweetest chiba.

Don't get no better than that.

Can smell it through the bag, baby.

That's gonna be 9,600 bucks, bro.

Let's see what I got here.

Come on, man. Hang out for a minute.

Smoke with me.

I got weed. I got my bong out.

Come on, son.

For you, man, I got... I'll stay for a minute.

But then, I gotta be... gotta be going.

I understand.

Man, Smoka Lot opened up to me like I was Barbara Walters.

It was ridiculous. He told me about his lawyer...

He had sex with my mama! Why?

his spirituality...

God, if you listening, help!

his bad back...

Doctor said I need a backeotomy.

his love life.

I'm impotent, man! Get away from me, bitch!

- I mean, talk about a guy with problems. - Yeah, tough, tough break.

I can't take it no more.

No wonder he smokes a pound a week.

Somebody wanna...?

- So now we had a famous clientele and... - Green-eyes gonna miss ya!

- And guess what else? - Call me next week.

About weed. About weed.

I got more booty! I got more booty!

I don't mean to rub it in, folks.

But, it's just that, you know, I liked this so much, man.

When I was with her, I didn't think about weed.

Didn't have to.

Bye.

She was all the Mary Jane I needed.

♪ When I was young ♪

♪ I never needed anyone ♪

♪ And makin' love was just for fun ♪

♪ Those days are gone ♪

♪ All by my-self ♪

What did I tell you, Nate, huh?

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on, Nate.

- He had to stay vigilant. - Wash off your han...

Kenny's butt-hole was in constant jeopardy.

Yow!

But, we were making money.

Hey, what's up, mates?

- What's up, man? - All right.

- What's up, boy? - What's up, yo?

Nada. Just chilling.

Hey, guys?

Why is there a dog biting the Guy?

Cos I bought a dog, B.

Bought a dog? For how much?

Oh, it's cool, yo. He's used.

Including the house, it was only 250, yo.

You spent $250 on a used dog?

And a dog house, yo. Brian bought something, too.

For $400, I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man.

Who the hell told you that?

The guy who sold it to me. Barry Garcia.

And what is he supposed to be? Jerry Garcia's brother?

No. Actually, it's Andy Garcia's brother.

Why the hell are you guys spending the money, man?

We're not drug dealers, remember? We're fundraisers.

Well, you said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace.

How much did that cost, man?

Ah.

You know, obviously, you missed the point of that story, Brian.

Come on, guys. Return this shit.

We can't, yo.

Well then, why am I telling Mary Jane that I don't have any money?

Cos you're a fibber.

No, because we don't have any money.

The money we have is not for spending, it's for saving...

Kenny's sweet virgin ass, man!

If you guys spend one more dime, I swear I will bitch-slap you!

Gimme that.

Sorry for yelling.

But, I'm serious.

We gotta start being more responsible...

and focused, all right?

Let's be sharp.

Scarface, your dog is mean, man.

I know, all right.

Somebody gotta do something about this shit right now.

Mmm. Come here, doggie.

Hey, little fella.

Hey, smell it. Ehh!

Smell it. OK, all right.

Mmm.

Good boy.

- He likes it! - That's waht I'm talking about.

He loves it, man.

Of course, he loves it.

Yeah, your paws are tingling, aren't they?

Now, you're one of us.

Hey! All right.

Get it, Killer.

He likes it, yo.

Yeah, man. He really likes it.

- Look at him, man. - Good for you, man.

- Man, what did you guys do to him, yo? - Nothing, man.

Yo, Killer, Killer!

Killer, kill, yo!

This weed is fantastic!

We kept plugging away with the weed deliveries,

and we kept meeting different kinds of smokers

Like this lady.

She's an "I'm Only Creative If I Smoke" smoker.

She believes weed, and only weed, brings out the artist in her.

Would you like to hear some of my poetry?

- Not really. - You really should.

I have killed.

I have helped kill.

I have killed part of myself.

I cannot change this. I...

I must seek Buddha.

I must seek Christ.

You must seek therapy.

That's what I would go with. But, that's my own...

The MacGyver smoker is a very handy guy to have around.

Especially, when it comes to reefer.

Hey, man. We're out of papers.

All right. Then get me a toilet paper roll, a corkscrew and some tin foil.

We don't have a corkscrew.

All right. Then get me an avocado, an ice pick and my snorkel.

Trust me, bro. I've made bongs with less.

Hurry up!

And then you got your straight-up potheads.

You can spot these people by their lack of motivation,

mood swings, forgetfulness,

and, of course, the dreaded low sperm count.

I don't know which one of these categories we fall into.

But, I'll tell you this, we ain't no goddamn potheads!

Hmm.

Shit.

Then you have the avid non-smoker.

Lot of times, they'll get your number accidentally from one of their girlfriends,

call up and place an order, knowing they don't smoke weed,

and request that you personally deliver it.

Then when you get there, they're all mad that it's you selling weed.

You smoke weed?

At last, we can share everything!

Get off me, you lying son of a bitch!

What is this?

Looks like some sort of a business card.

Yes, with your number on it.

You know, I can't believe this.

I can't believe that I fell for another one of you lowlife assholes again!

God, what is wrong with me?

Hey, hey, Mary Jane. I can explain everything, all right?

- Goodbye, Thurgood. - Wait. Hold up.

Hey, Mary Jane.

Mary Jane, look.

The only reason I lied to you was because I like you.

And I wanted to be with you.

Mary Jane.

Knight Rider.

A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man

who does not exist.

- Thurgood, why the long face, man? - Mary Jane dumped me.

Shh! Quiet down, yo. Sir Smoka Lot's on TV, yo.

Cecil?

♪ When life is hard, ♪

♪ I pick up that card ♪ ♪ with the smiley face. ♪

♪ Call him over to my place. ♪

Oh, shit!

You're the only man who Smoka Lot knows.

- Oh, my God! - Fuck me!

♪ And it gets you high... ♪

And that's pretty much when things started going wrong.

Samson, looks like somebody is cutting into your business, baby.

- Shit. ♪ - Nice Guy. ♪

♪ - Who? ♪ ♪ - Mr. Nice Guy. ♪

Do you like what you see, Samson?

Do I look like I like what I see?

Who is this Mr Nice Guy?

I would imagine he's some sort of drug dealer.

Go get me this Mr. Nice Guy.

I wanna sit him down and ask him some questions.

- Hey, Squirrel Master. - Kenny.

Listen, uh...

I just wanted to say thank you for protecting me back there.

Hey, we didn't mind, huh, did we, Fuzzy Nuts?

And I hope there's some way I can uh pay you back

when we get on the outside, you know?

You better hurry up cos I get out in 11 days.

Is that right?

Kenny, 11 days? That seems a little stiff, man.

11 days, Thurgood. I'm as good as skewered.

Ever take your clothes off and run backwards through a cornfield?

Oof...

Hurry, Thurgood. I'm counting on you, man.

Please! Please!

11 days wasn't gonna give us much time.

We really had to hustle.

And that meant taking on new customers.

Damn, B. I've been set up.

We'll get back to that in a second.

But meanwhile, I hadn't seen Mary Jane in, like, a week.

I couldn't stop thinking about her, man. I missed her.

Then I started thinking about the fact that

she was the only girl I had slept with in five years.

Then I started about the girl I slept with before Mary Jane.

I had to get Mary Jane back.

What do you want?

I want you back, Mary Jane.

I miss you.

I'll do whatever it takes to get you back.

I can't quit selling it yet, but, but, I'll quit smoking it.

If that's what you want, then, then l'll change for you.

Heard that before.

Said that before.

But, this time I mean it.

I'm gonna come back here.

I'm gonna be clean. I'm gonna be sober.

There's no more weed, no more nothing.

Mary Jane, you'll see. I'll be back.

I'll be a changed man.

There's a new Thurgood Jenkins today!

I love you.

Man, that first day of sobriety sucked.

And I realised something.

I was a real irritable guy when I wasn't smoking marijuana.

I couldn't stop thinking about getting high.

And that's why I decided it was time to get help.

Hi, everyone.

- My name is Thurgood. - Hi, Thurgood.

Hi.

I'm here today because I'm addicted...

to marijuana.

Damn them all!

You in here because of marijuana?

Marijuana?!

Man, this is some bullshit!

Marijuana is not a drug.

I used to suck dick for coke.

- I seen him! - Damn!

And that's an addiction, man. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

Huh?

- No, no. I can't say I have. - I didn't think so.

- Boo this man! - Boo!

No!

No!

No!

Devil man.

Devil 6-6-6. The mark of the beast!

No!

Naughty!

Naughty jungle of love!

The man is serious, B.

Calm down, all right. How serious can he be?

He wants to see Mr Nice Guy, yo. He told me.

Oh, man.

No, yo!

They killed Killer, B.

Yo, Samson did this, man.

Yo, he killed Killer, man.

- Hey. - He killed...

I'm gonna call Brian.

Let's just give him a proper burial, all right?

I'm sorry, man.

Jesus Christ.

- Oh! - Watch it, man!

- You stepped on his head, yo! - I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I didn't even see him.

I gotta smoke. I have got to smoke.

What happened, man?

You wanna know what happened? I'll tell you what happened.

Samson and his girls came rolling up in here looking for me.

Cos they said they was gonna mess me up if I didn't bring them Mr. Nice Guy.

So, they probably roughed the Guy up,

then started going to war with the apartment.

They had nunchucks, bolos. they be doing Indian burns.

And Killer paid the price, yo.

Now, he got the wrath. He got the wrath of the nunchucks, yo.

I think it's more complex than that.

More complex than that?

You know what I think happened?

You want to hear what I think, man?

First of all, to understand what happened to Killer,

you gotta understand who Killer, the dog, was.

Now, Killer was born to a three-legged bitch mother.

He was always ashamed of this, man.

And then right after that, he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz.

He's a small-time gunrunner and uh Rottweiler fight promoter.

So, he puts Killer into training. They see now Killer's good.

He is damn good.

But then, he had the fight of his life.

They pit him against his brother, Nibbles.

And Killer said, "No, man. It's my brother.

I can't fight Nibbles!" And he made 'em fight anyway.

And then Killer, he killed Nibbles.

And Killer said, "That's it."

He called off all his fights

and he started doing crack and he... freaked out.

And then, in a rage...

he collapsed.

And his heart...

no longer beat.

Wow.

You know, uh...

I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but...

you two smoke entirely too much reefer.

What if... the Guy did it?

No way. You think?

Yo, the Guy? Did you kill my dog?

I believe him, yo.

I don't know why, but I do.

Samson did this shit, yo.

Mr. Nice Guy, Party Accessories.

Well, did you get my message?

- Who is this? - This is Samson, smarty-pants!

Operator with an emergency breakthrough from your sister.

Samson, this is Sheila.

- Mama fell... - Shut up, bitch!

You tell Mr. Nice Guy to get his Jamaican ass

over to my place at three O'clock tomorrow!

- Now, you don't want me to get ugly. - No, sir.

- Shit. - All right, I'll tell him.

Oh, my God.

We're in a lot of trouble.

Scarface?

Perhaps, you could help me.

Why do you think Samson thinks that Mr. Nice Guy's a Jamaican?

Oh...

Because I told him Mr. Nice Guy was Jamaican, yo.

Why?

I don't know. I just always thought he sounded Jamaican inside my head, B.

We're in a lot of trouble, guys.

We have a meeting with Samson tomorrow at three O'clock.

Where are we gonna get a Jamaican from?

I'll pretend I'm Jamaican, man.

Yeah!

You have smoked yourself retarded.

Well, well, well...

if it isn't Mr. Nice Guy.

Welcome to my lair.

Well, now...

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Well, you know, I be from Jamaica, mon.

Lord have mercy!

What part of Jamaica?

Right near the Beach... Boy!

I think you're bullshitting me.

Samson Simpson, I stick by my story.

I'm from Jamaica.

If I wasn't a Jamaican,...

then why would I wear this hat?

Huh?

Delilah...

get me...

814.

814.

What the fuck is 814?

Aaagh!

I'm sorry, y'all.

I don't want to be the first nigger to die from a crossbow.

You know, I have been lying to you.

I'm sorry.

Samson, I'm sorry. Okay?

We, we just started this because our friend got locked up.

Borther, you know how that is.

We could... We had to get him outta jail.

Now, this is what's gonna happen.

You make about 40-50 thousand a week.

Shit.

- I wish - Well, I want half!

$20,000 a week... or you're dead!

Do you understand?

20,000 seems fair.

That seems fair, right, guys? It's fair.

Class dismissed.

Man, we are in trouble, man.

Jerry, I really need your help, man.

Feel us!

Brian, will you stop praying to a bag of sand, man?

Come on!

You heard the man. If we don't get this money, we're dead.

All of us!

Yo, Thurgood?

Why don't you get your boy, the Guy, to lend you some money, yo.

You certainly let him stay here long enough.

Man, that's Brian's boy. I didn't let him stay here.

I don't know him, man.

- Hey, what day is it? - Saturday.

- Is it January? - No, man. It's August.

Oh, wow. August.

Hey, I couldn't help overhearing you guys.

You know, if you want to double your profits,

you should just go in there and rob that lab.

Tomorrow's Sunday. There'll be no-one in there.

Just go in and rob the place blind.

It'll work. I promise you.

Hey, uh...

seeing as how we don't know who you are, you know...

are you planning on moving out soon?

Thurgood, why don't you just focus on one thing at a time?

I'll be fine.

The robbery is what's important now.

Phase 1 is complete, yo!

All right.

Now, all we gotta do is go down this hatch

to the second floor supply room,

grab all the weed and we are outta here!

That sick, man! This sick.

- Let's do it. - All right.

Watch your step.

You didn't say nothing about no door, yo.

Chill out, man, all right. I smoke weed here all the time.

This door's never locked.

I didn't say the alarm would be off! All right. I said it never locked.

Hurry, yo!

You guys, wait up! Oh!

Hold up!

Isn't that Thurgood? The custodian?

Yeah. You want me to call the cops?

No, this is too much fun.

- Right up here! - Coming, yo.

I hope there's some left.

"Maui Wowie!"

I never seen this much weed in my life!

Let's go!

Come on, man.

Get down on your knees with your hands behind your head.

Yo, I'm gonna make a run for it, B.

Just get down, man.

At least, Brian got away, yo.

Whoa!

My nads!

Oh.

Hey, thank God, man!

Get down on your knees with your hands behind your head.

Move in.

These guys, "breaking and entering".

You got me? Open and shut.

I say we book 'em.

You got me? We book 'em.

Hey, hey, hey.

Wait a minute, guys. It's uh...

It's not open and shut, all right?

What do you guys do for a living?

- I'm a detective. - Yeah, we're detectives.

Oh, OK, then detect. Ask us something.

What do you know about this new Jamaican, this Mr. Nice Guy?

Yeah.

Aw, shit, yo!

Well, I heard he's got great weed, but, but that's neither here nor there.

- I mean, we can't bring him down. - Crazy.

But we can bring you Samson. Just ask me how.

Ask me!

How are you gonna bring Samson down?

We got a meeting with him in a couple days.

I'll wear a wire. Hmm?

All right, listen to me. There's $30,000 in this knapsack.

When you get in there, give him the 20 grand you owe him.

And with the remaining ten,

buy whatever narcotics he's got around. You got me?

- You paying attention? - No.

Sorry, man.

Unless you say out loud what it is you're buying, we got nothing.

So, make sure that you say it and make sure that you get Samson to say it.

- No codes. No slang. - Yeah.

Now, as soon as you got the stuff, or if anything goes wrong,

say the phrase "abracadabra".

- Abracadabra. - Abracadabra?

Okay, okay.

Make sure that you are relaxed.

- Just act completely normal. - That's gonna be a problem.

What do you mean?

I mean, we haven't smoked any weed today, man.

If the three of us go in there all clear-eyed and shit,

Samson is gonna know something's up.

Well, if you think it's gonna help.

Yeah, yeah, I think that's gonna help.

You got a light?

Mmm. H-hmm. H-hmm.

Thanks, Officer.

I just wanna say, that was a great idea, Thurgood.

- Wow! I mean, where do you even... - Just smoke it, yo!

If something happens to us, could you...

could you give this letter to Mary Jane Potman?

Sure thing, kid.

And, and tell our friend, Kenny Davis, we love him.

- He's in prison. - Let's go, come on!

All right, let's move.

All right. Just remember to speak clearly.

Get him to say what he's selling.

- All right? - Yeah.

You know, it ain't always good to get high before you have important things to do.

But lucky for us, the cops had our backs.

- Hello, boys. - Hi, Samson.

So...

where's the money?

Right here in my bag. Um...

Samson, can I ask you a question?

Go ahead.

Do you know where we can score some cocaine?

You want some candy?

Uh, no, thanks.

But, it'd be great if we can get some cocaine.

What's so funny?

Those guys... those guys are doomed!

I can't feel my hands!

I, I can feel them.

Aggghhh!

What we have here...

is some Columbian heaven.

Pure cocaine.

Candy makes you dandy.

Hmm.

This is all the cocaine we get for ten G's, B?

- Oh well, we have other product. -Oh, like, like more cocaine?

And that is?

Fine China. Babaloo.

- Looks like heroin to me, yo. - Yeah. Yeah, is that heroin?

You've got to be the dumbest dealers in the dope game.

Oh, you mean the game that you run, yo?

Yeah.

Just call me Jesse Owens.

Hey, Jesse, can we get some cocaine and get outta here?

Okay.

Can I buy some of your heroin, too?

Okay!

All right, it's been a pleasure doing business with you.

Thank you very much for the heroin and the cocaine.

Here's your money. All right.

Abracadabra.

Yeah, man!

Yeah.

Abracadabra!

"You're all the Mary Jane I'll ever need."

- Abracadabra, yo! - Abracadabra, man.

Abracadabra.

Boy, why do you keep saying that?

What? Abracadabra?

Yes, abracadabra.

It's the latest thing, man. All the kids are saying it.

- Hey. - Hey, Abracadabra, my nigger!

- What's up? Abracadabra. - Abracadabra.

Slim!

Take off your shirt.

Samson...

Samson, I hardly know you.

Ladies.

- Abracadabra! - Abracadabra, man!

- Abracadabra, yo! - Abracadabra!

- Abra... - You're dead!

All of you!

Hey, fellas. Let's beat these bitches!

Come on, let's work it out.

Oh, tip. Yo, your titty.

- Now, that's a titty. - Fully, man.

That is an official fully titty.

Aaggh!

These are mean people.

- Mean, mean, man. - Look out!

This is for Killer, B.

Surprise, surprise, surprise!

Look who's walking.

Nigger, I thought you said you was crippled.

Well, sweet pea, we're all crippled in some way.

- Put it down! - You win.

Now,...

this is the way it's gonna work.

I'm gonna take your little Mexican friend with me

and I'm gonna kill him.

- I'm Cuban, B. - Yes, Cuban B.

Now, is there anything you want to say...

- to your friends? - Jerry, we need you.

Abracadabra, B!

Oh, man!

Wow!

Sucks to be you, man!

Oh, man! Oh, man!

What did I... I told you he was real, man!

Jerry, thank you, man.

You're welcome, Brian.

Peace.

- Well, abracadabra. - Whoa!

- All right. - What the hell's going on here?

Our job is done. These guys can go home.

You guys are wasted, man.

Thurgood! Thurgood.

Nice letter.

- Gimme that back. - Queer!

- Everybody, freeze! - Oh, shit!

Nobody move!

Of course, the cops took all the credit for busting Samson,

but that's not important.

What was important is that we cut a deal,

and Kenny was finally free. Hallelujah!

Which brings me to the Brooklyn Bridge,

where I had to make things right with Mary Jane.

- Hi. - Are you?

A little bit from yesterday, you know, when Kenny got...

But, but, but, Mary Jane, listen.

I'm done.

I'm done selling it. I'm done smoking it.

This is the last of it, right here.

I just wanted you to see me get rid of it.

Could we just have a... a moment alone?

Do what you gotta do.

Be strong.

Thanks, baby.

Mary Jane,...

being with you these past 11 years has been wonderful.

But, I gotta move on.

Come on, smoke me.

Have a quickie for old times' sake.

No. She's looking.

She's looking. All right, real quick.

No.

No, it wouldn't be right! God damn you!

You'll be back!

- Everything work out OK? - Yeah.

- Mary Jane, I love you. - I love you, too.

I know.

I know what you're thinking.

That old Thurgood sold out, right?

I'm your girl now.

But, let me tell you something. I love weed.

Okay? I love it.

But, not as much as I love pussy!

The End.

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ Sitting here together, baby ♪

♪ We're all alone ♪

♪ Now I can tell you, girl ♪

♪ You turn me on ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ Bring out the lovin', ♪ ♪ the lovin' desire, baby ♪

♪ You got the match, ooh, ♪ ♪ that lights my fire ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ Bring out the lovin', ♪ ♪ the lovin' desire, baby ♪

♪ You've got the match, ooh ♪

♪ That lights my fire ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high ♪

♪ I get lifted up ♪

♪ High, high ♪ ♪ High, high # ♪

Hey, everybody, I'm Dave Chappelle.

If you want to learn more about marijuana or other illegal substances,

go to your local library.

- Remember, the more you read... - The smarter you are.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

All right!

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