All language subtitles for Adventures of a taxi driver (1976) V.O.S.English

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I my man'i a taxi driver

I my man'l a taxi driver

I I'd like to like a ride with you

I don't want to he fled to you

I I promlee I'll try my very belt
to pleue you, derllng

I You know that lelr'e lelr vvlth me

I There'e thlnge you can lhere vvlth me

ISo teke my tlp

I And we can lklp lormelltlee

I won't you be my cruieing Connove

I Clicir your llngerl and I'll be over there

I Smoothlng your heir,
loothlng your core. evvey

I There'e no relueing, Connove

I Stop the clock and Ivoriring overtlme

I Cruleing Connove, be mine

I My men'e e taxl drlverI

(BELLS CHIMING)

NARRATOR: Every major lntemetlonel clty

he that molt populer mean- ol treneport,
the texl.

That unlque brand of conveyance
vvhlch comblnea el'llclency vvlth lndlvlduallty.

Perhapa, moat popular
for the personal aervloe lt provldea.

Enthualaatlc, hard-vvorlrlng,
vvlth never a moment'a reat,

probably the tax! drlver'a
moat lovable attrlbute la the warm welcome

he la alvvaya eager
to extend to lorelgn vlaltorl.

The moment you hall a taxl,

you can be lure
of belng greeted by a lrlendly amlle,

a concern for your Ivell-belng,

and aomeone at the wheel alvvaya ready
to lend a helplng hand.

There are, at preaent,
llterally mllllona ol taxla

operatlng throughout the world
on a 24-hour baala.

Enaurlng that at any tlme,
day or nlght, vvlthln aeconda

you can be apeedlng happlly avvay
to the deatlnatlon of your cholce.

Renowned for thelr total lack of prejudlce,
a tax! vvlll atop for anybody

lrreapectlve of colour, claaa or creed.

Adored by the publlc lor thelr
vvhlmalcal charm and dellghtlul dlapoaltlon,

perhapa more than any other form
of publlc tranaport,

the tax! drlver holda a unlque place
In the heart: of the people.

Not leaat, hla lellovv road uaerl
vvho appreclate to the full

that qulet, courteoua patlence,
that affable, lrlendly manner,

that conalderatlon lor hla lellovv motorlatl

vvlth whom he la alvvaya ready to exchange
a lrlendly wave and aome merry llttle qulp.

(MOUTHING)

But poaalbly more than anythlng elae
to hla credlt,

the tax! drlver bear: the dlatlnctlon
ol belng a drlver of knowledge,

experlence and el'llclency,

reaaaurlng all who drlve vvlth hlm

that the tax! la not only the aaleat vehlcle
on the road,

but holda the proud record for belng
Involved In the leaat number of accldentl.

(MAN WHISTLING)

(TYRES SCREECHING)

(CRASHING)

Wlthout a doubt, we, the publlc, ovve much
to theae gallant lrnlghtl ol the road,

of whom It can truly be aald,

"Everythlng we feel for them,
they feel for ua. "

(BLOWING RASPBERRY)

That'll be 15, guv. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Well, you try emlllng

when you've been lumbarad wlth
a mleerable tlght-flated glt Ilke hlm,

after you've fought through
all the bleedlng traffic

and had hlm moanlng on at you,
Ilke It was all your fault.

Sorry about that.

Been a blt of a bad day. Know what I mean?

By the way, my name's Joe.

Well, wlth a name Ilke that,
I had to go In the eabblng bualneaa, dldn't I?

Been at It a year or so now.

Have my own eab. Well, almost.
Soon as I've flnlahed paylng for It.

Yeah, It's not such a bad Job really.

Hard work, but then
so la anythlng these days.

Not that I mlnd.

Got me health and strength.
Know what I mean?

Mlnd you, I'll be a lot happler
when I get my own place.

Trouble ls, you see, I llve at home.

You need a blt of peace and qulet
after dolng thls Job.

And llvlng at home? No Joke, I can tell you.

Oh, yeah, makes a great start to the day.

Oh, come on, Mum, I'm late as It Is.

Well, It's your own fault.

Comlng In here last nlght, plssed as a newt,

crashlng about all over the place
and waklng me up.

Lay off, Ma, wlll you? Do us a favour.

You're gettlng more llke your father
every day, you are.

And you're golng to end up llke hlm,
mark my words.

And where were you last nlght?

Out screwlng some poor Innocent llttle glrl,
I suppose.

-Just llke your father.
-Don't make me laugh.

You hardly knew hlm.
You only met hlm once.

Don't talk llke that In front of the baby.

And woke her up and all, dldn't he,
my dear llttle pet?

Have more conslderatlon.

It was twlce I met hlm. Twlce.

lee me them.

Mummy wlll glve you somethlng nlcer than
that to play wlth, there's a good llttle glrl.

Are you golng to slt starlng at that
all day or are you golng to eat It?

I don't feel llke eatlng.
Look, Just glve me a cup of tea, wlll you?

I don't know why I bother, I really don't.

Food Is wasted
Just as though It cost nothlng.

All rlght, all rlght. Somethlng's burnlng.
Porrldge, by the smell.

Oh, It's all rlght, Just at the bottom.
The top's all rlght.

-I don't llke porrldgeI
-Yes, you do. It's lovely.

It's horrldI HorrldI HorrldI

Shut up!

(ALICE SCREAMING)

OhI Now look what you've done.
You know It makes her cry.

All rlght, I glve up. That's It.
Bloody hell. I'm late as It Is.

-Where's my fares book?
-0h, In the cupboard.

Oh, my God!

That llttle tyke's been thlevlng agaln,
aln't he?

Where Is he? PeterI Come In hereI

-PeterI
-And he's llke hls father and all.

Wlnd up In the same cell wlth hlm,
I shouldn't wonder, the way he's earrylng on.

PeterI

How am I supposed to get to sleep
wlth all thls racket?

Yeah? So? Where's the fire, then?

Over here. Come here.

Look, what have you got to say about
all thls lot, then?

Good gear, lnnlt?
I mean, It's not rubblsh, Is It?

You sald you'd got a proper Job.

Well, I have.
I mean, I'm dolng It proper now, aren't I?

Been worklng very hard at It and all.
I've got a sharp llttle organlsatlon together.

You're golng to get us all Into trouble.
Anyone could Just walk In.

And all that lot lylng there.

Not to mentlon 20 cartons of halrspray
I found hldden under my bed.

Fell off the back of a lorry, dldn't they, Mum?

You're golng to end up In the nlck
wlth 10 years ahead of you.

Peter's golng In the nlck,
Peter's golng In the nlck.

Why can't you get an honest Job for once?

What? lee drlvlng a cab? Leave off.

Anyway, that's no more than
bleedlng hlghway robbery,

so what are you dolng telllng me
to go stralght?

0h, cholce. I Ilke that.

Just don't ask me to ball you out, that's all.

It's your funeral.

What'd I tell you, eh? It's always llke that.

Makes It a pleasure golng to work
of a mornlng.

I tell you what'd cheer me up,
be to plck up a nlce blt of crumpet.

Very handy for lntroductlons, thls motor.

I I ran about town llke you

I And had better thlnga to do

I Than apendlng the tlme

I I'll see that It's worth your whlle

I Oh, baby

I I know you've been runnlng free

I l thlnk you'd have fun wlth me

I Forget the rest

I l'd llke to teat your drlvlng atyle

I Won't you be my

I Crulalng Casanova

I Cllck your flngera and I'll be over there

I Smoothlng your halr

I Soothlng your cares away

I There's no refualng, Casanova

I Stop the clock and worklng overtlme

I Crulslng Casanova, be mlne I

-Where to, darllng?
-Lambeth Brldge, please.

nght you are, then.

Nlce mornlng. Isn't It? You off to work, then?

Yeah, I thought so. I can usually tell.

Belng In thls Job
you have to be a blt of a psychologlst.

What do you do for a llvlng, eh?
No, don't tell me.

Let me guess.

I'd say you're a secretary, rlght?

Personal secretary to some oll magnate. Eh?

Really hlgh-powered.

Don't let appearances fool you.

Be a rlght llttle raver, thls one,
when It gets golng.

Got a lovely llttle body on her, too.

No mlstake.

Looks a blt mlserable, though.

I know what she needs. nght?

That's another thlng lean tell.

Whether a blrd's had a good seelng to or not
the nlght before.

I reckon that one's had
a rlght thln tlme of It lately, don't you?

Born In London, were you?
No, don't tell me. Let me guess.

I'd say, Judglng from your accent,
that you're from somewhere up north, rlght?

Yes, lean usually tell.

Somewhere llke leerpool, maybe?

Yeah. leerpool, I'd say.

She's weakenlng. What'd I tell you, eh?

Oh, yes, deflnltely softenlng up.
Stands out a mlle.

Whlch slde of the brldge, love?

-Mlddle.
-The mlddle?

nght, then. Mlddle It Is.

That'll be... Here, hang on!

HeyI Hang on a mlnute, darllng.
What about my fare?

Go away and leave me alone!
Please. Just leave me alone.

But I never lald a finger on you.

What's the matter wlth you?
Jesus Chrlst, I only want me bleedlng fare.

Look, If you haven't got It,
there's no need to panlc.

I mean It. Don't come any closer.

All rlght. All rlght. I'm golng. I'm golng.

You don't eare, do you?

-Nobody eares.
-Eh?

No one wlll even notlce I'm dead.

All rlght then, If that's the way It Is,
I'll Jump rlow.

-0h, my God!
-Don't try and stop me.

It's too late. My mlnd's made up.

No. Walt. Don't do It!

The paln, the sufferlng, wlll only end
when the Icy waters close over me,

earrylng me away Into obllvlon.

-Funny blrd.
-The dreamless sleep of eternlty.

Darllng, why don't you tell me about It?

I mean, I don't pretend to understand.
I've onlyjust met you, haven't I?

But you know what they say, rlght?
'A trouble shared Is a trouble halved.‘

All lean say ls,
well, It seems to me a terrlble waste,

beautlful glrl llke you
trylng to do away wlth herself.

What do you say, eh?
I mean, nothlng's ever that bad, really.

-Not when you come down to It.
-lt's too late for talklng rlow.

Oh, please, darllng. try, eh?

I'm all alone In the world.
No one loves me. No one eares.

You don't know what It's llke
to be left alone, unloved, unwanted.

Hold on. I don't belleve It.

Beautlful glrl llke you
and no one wants to know?

Llsten, I could love you.

I mean, the first tlme I saw you,
I sald to meself,

'Now there's a glrl I could really love.‘

There was a man. Once.

I thought he loved me.

-0h, Ronald, Ronald!
-Watch yourself, you'll fall!

He's never comlng back.
I'll never see hlm agaln. "ever! I want to dle.

I ean't face llfe wlthout hlm.
0h, Ronald, Ronald!

(SHE YELPS)

I ean't even klll myself properly.
I'm a fallure at everythlng.

No, you Just need cheerlng up, that's all.

Look, you've had a nasty shock, rlght?

Why don't I take you home, eh?
Where do you llve?

Do you really thlnk
I'll ever be able to forget Ronald?

Course you wlll. Wlth a blt of help.

I need love, you see.
That's what I need, lots of lovlng.

Well, I dld Just save her llfe, dldn't I?

I mean, the way I look at It,
It's an offer I ean't refuse.

And strong arms. Strong arms to hold me.

Hold you?
It's llke trylng to undress a bloody octopus.

I don't want you to thlnk I'm promlscuous

Just beeause
you eaught me at a weak moment.

Oh, I don't. I don't.
Look, Just llft up a blt, wlll you?

It's Just that wlthout Ronald,
I feel so helpless.

I don't know, you seem to be dolng all rlght.

I wlsh he was here rlght now,
so he could see.

Oh, I don't.

LlndaI

-lt's Ronald.
-Ronald?

-0hI
-You got It all wrong, mate.

It's not llke that at all.

I've Just brought her back In my eab,
you see.

And you're Just collectlng the fare,
that rlght?

Yeah. NoI

You mustn't get It wrong.

I dldn't dare leave her.

She was golng to do herself In.

Throw herself off Lambeth Brldge.

Well, that makes a change.

Let's see, what's the score now?
Westmlnster twlce.

Blackfrlars, London Brldge, Tower Brldge,
and that's only In the last few months.

How was I supposed to know?
She was In a terrlble state.

-Sald you'd left her.
-And you dld.

You walked out wlthout saylng goodbye
and you slammed the door.

-Cover yourself up, wlll you?
-That's typleal, that Is.

Most of the tlme
you want me to uncover myself.

That's dlfferent. That's when I'm wlth you.

Well, you're wlth me now,
so what's dlfferent?

Admlt It, you only want me for my body.

-0h, Llnda, don't be so rldlculous.
-l'm not belng.

You thlnk you ean treat me how you llke,
as If I've got no feellngs.

-Now, you know that's not true.
-0h, ealllng me a llar, are you, now?

Not content wlth only wantlng me
for my body, I'm a llar as well!

-l dldn't say that!
-Excuse me...

I knew It. ljust knew It.
You don't love me any more.

-Of course I do.
-You wouldn't say such thlngs If you dld.

Look, I don't want to Interrupt anythlng...

If I dldn't love you, how the hell
could I have put up wlth you for so long?

-I don't want to Interrupt...
-Just mlnd your own buslness.

Keep your nose out of thls, mate.
I've got to go to work sometlmes, you know,

wlthout you thlnklng I'm leavlng you
and threatenlng to commlt sulclde.

You drlve me to It. You're so cruel to me.

-Thank you.
-0h, don't be so stupld.

You're slck, that's your trouble.

LINDA: Oh, yes, that's always your attltude.

You never thlnk.
And you stlll haven't remembered.

RONALD: Remembered what,
for heaven's sake?

LINDA: It's my blrthdayI

RONALD: So what's Important
about a blrthday?

LINDA: It's very Important to have...
RONALD: You have one every year.

It's golng to be one of those days.
ljust know It.

PETER: I'd llke to take her out
and push her under a bus.

Don't you talk about your llttle slster
llke that. I won't have It!

Slster? She's not even human.

Look at that lot!
A whole bleedlng ton of soap powder rulned.

Do you know how much money
she's lost me?

And when I'd done a deal on It.
Knocked myself out to set It up.

Well, no one asked you to brlng It In here,
dld they?

Clutterlng up my kltchen.

Well, I want It out. Just get rld of It.

-Do you hear me?
-Oh, yeah?

Now what am I supposed to say?

lee, 'Llsten, mate, about that soap powder,

'l dld have It, see, but It sort of vanlshed.
Sorry about that.‘

Or how about, 'Ny llttle slster
declded to decorate the house wlth lt.'

Oh, they're golng to love that,
after they've plcked themselves up

off the bloody floor laughlng, of course.

Joe, Just tell hlm, wlll you?
Just tell hlm to get rld of It.

No. No. I've had as much as I ean take

I wash my hands off the whole bleedlng
lot of you. That's It, as far as I'm concerned.

Why don't you get rld of the stuff you've
already got before you brlng more In?

It's gettlng so that I ean't even move around
me own house.

What's all that gear dolng In my bedroom?

PETER: I'll wrlng her bloody llttle neck,
so help me, I wlll.

JOE: PeterI

PETER: thtle monster ought to have been
put down at blrth.

What?

-PeterI
-What?

I want to know what all that...

Oh, never mlnd. Forget It.

And where do you thlnk
you're golng, Sunny Jlm?

I've got a nlce llttle Job for you first.

-Dump It.
-Oh, Na, where?

That Is your problem, not mlne.

And mlnd you brlng that bucket back.

-Where do you thlnk you're golng wlth that?
-I told you, I'm leavlng.

Oh, I see. Just walklng out
and leavlng me to cope.

A fine son you turned out to be.

Just llke your father, whoever he was.

What am I supposed to tell Carol
when she comes?

Well, you ean tell her to...

-Hello, love.
-Hello, love.

Carol, my steady. Blt of a drag.
Got weddlng bells In her ears.

-What you dolng wlth that, then?
-He's clearlng off.

Walklng out on hls responslbllltles,
that's what he's dolng.

Oh, no! No, I'm sure Joe wouldn't do
a thlng llke that wlthout telllng rne,

-would you, Joe?
-Yes, I would.

I've had enough. I'm clearlng out.
I've had enough.

Oh! Well, I expect I'll see you later, then?

Joel Joel

Joe NorthI You come here. Come here.

Do I comprehend the sltuatlon correctly?

-Are you leavlng home?
-Dead rlght.

Wlthout a word to me
or even a by-your-leave?

It's got nothlng to do wlth you.

What do you mean
It's got nothlng to do wlth rne?

I happen to be your fiancee and
flancees have a rlght to know these thlngs.

-So where are you golng?
-I don't know.

-What do you mean, you don't know?
-I Just told you, I don't know.

You ean't Just leave home
and not know where you're golng.

As soon as I find somewhere,
I'll get In touch, all rlght?

When's that, then?

How should I know?
Tonlght, tomorrow, as soon as I'm settled In.

Does that mean
you're not golng to take me out tonlght?

How ean I? I don't know where I'll be.

-Gone wlth the wlnd.
-What?

That's what you were supposed
to take me to, Gone wlth the Wlnd.

Oh, come on now.
You must have seen It 10 tlmes.

Eleven.

Wlth that and Lady and the Tramp
every year at Chrlstmas,

It's enough to drlve anyone up the wall.

You don't have to come.
I mean, nobody's forclng you to.

I mean, you don't have to eare
If I'm on my own,

probably belng molested In the back row.

Oh, come on. Who's golng to molest you?

Lots of people, If I let them.
Anyway, you always do.

I've got to find somethlng to do, haven't I?
Gone wlth the Wlnd Is a long fllm.

Well, If you won't take me to the plctures,

why ean't I come wlth you
and help you find somewhere to stay?

Carol, I'll be all rlght.

Supposlng you're movlng In
wlth another woman?

Oh, leave off, Carol.

Well, how am I supposed to know?

Look, I'll rlng you, all rlght?

You see, If you would have told me
you were leavlng home,

I could have done the same
and then we could have moved In together

and got marrled before I orlglnally planned.

Yeah. Well, I'll rlng you.

You see, If you wouldn't mlnd
hanglng about for a blt,

I could bolt home
and start packlng stralght away.

No. Look...

Twenty mlnutes, 15 at the outslde
If you took me by eab.

Carol, I haven't got tlme for all thls.

What Is the matter?
Do you not want to llve wlth me any more?

Course I do. It's nothlng to do wlth that.

You wouldn't thlnk so,
the way you go on about It.

You'll have to get used to It
once we're marrled.

Look, what's up wlth you?

-Don't you trust me or somethlng?
-Qulte frankly, no.

Charmlng.

It's Just that I don't llke
to thlnk of you belng unfalthful.

Especlally, as I spent all my savlngs
last week buylng my engagement rlng.

-Have I ever been unfalthful to you?
-No.

Have you ever eaught rne
wlth another woman?

Have you ever eaught me,
when I've been out wlth you,

even looklng at another woman?

-No.
-There you are then.

You've got nothlng to worry about,
have you?

That Is besldes the polnt.

Remember, a penny saved
Is a penny not spent.

What are you golng on about?

Do not put all your balls In one basket.

That Is what I am trylng to say.

You see, lfl eaught you recllnlng
In the embrace of another woman,

do you know what I would do?

I would chop It offI

Look, you ean trust me.

As soon as I find somewhere
I'll rlng you, all rlght?

But I thought I was comlng wlth you.

-What?
-Well, that's what we agreed.

-Yeah. Well, look, you go home...
-Yeah.

-And pack your thlngs.
-Yeah.

-And then as soon as I find somewhere...
-Yeah.

-l'l| see you later.
-nght.

I hadn't flnlshed yet.

Tom? Tom? You about?

Wlth you In a mlnute.

-Joe, how are thlngs?
-Oh, not so bad.

Nlnd lfl earry on?

-Busy, I see.
-Oh, not bad.

Stlll got your plcture gallery, then.

You dlrty old bastard.

Make good dart boards.
You should see how my alm's Improved.

Here, pass that grease gun, wlll you?

Ta.

-Hovr's the eab buslness, then?
-Oh, mustn't grumble.

Thlng Is, I dld want
to ask you a favour, mate.

-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.

You know that flat you've got upstalrs?

Yeah? What about It?

-Well, It's got two bedrooms, rlght?
-Just about. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I've got thls problem, see.
lee, I've got to find somewhere to llve and,

well, seelng as how we're mates...
I mean, I'd help towards the rent and that.

Llsten, Joe, anytlme, you know that.

Unfortunately, It's not that slmple.

If you'd asked me a couple of weeks ago,
no problem.

But the trouble ls I've got a lady
llvlng wlth me at the moment.

Don't tell me you need two beds.
You must be sllpplng.

No, no, no, It's not that.

Look, Joe, I'll be stralght wlth you.
You know women.

You never know how they'll react.
I mean, well, lekl's a nlce lady, but...

-Well, she does work odd hours.
-Yeah?

Has Its advantages, I suppose.

I wouldn't ask If I wasn't really desperate.
Just tlll I get somethlng else fixed up.

All rlght, all rlght, Just for a couple of weeks
tlll you find somewhere.

Yeah.

ls thls a prlvate party or ean anyone Joln In?

Hello. Talk of the devll.

I'll say thls for Tom,
he certalnly knows how to plck them.

Obvlously a blt of class. Probably
an alr hostess or somethlng llke that.

Thls ls lekl. She's a strlpper.

You ean't always be rlght, ean you?

Joe's comlng to stay wlth us for a whlle.

-Oh, nlce. When?
-How about now?

You weren't klddlng, were you?

I don't belleve In hanglng about
once rne mlnd's made up.

You plannlng on staylng long, then?

Just tlll I get myself sorted out,
find a nlce llttle place to llve.

Oh, If you hear of anywhere that's golng,
not too expenslve.

Yeah. Sure.

She fancles rne. lean tell.

I could pull thls one. Dead easy. No problem.

I expect you're llke me, work odd hours.

Yeah, I do a blt.

I suppose that means
we won't see a lot of each other, then.

Do you fancy a qulck one before I go?

Oh. No, thanks.
Better get out and earn some money.

-lee me to drop you off?
-Yeah, great. Save me gettlng a eab.

I could deflnltely make It wlth her,
but I thlnk I'd better put In a blt of hard graft,

earn meself some money.

Yes, that's what I'm golng to
concentrate on for a blt, money.

(MUSIC COVERS SPEECH)

-N|kk|l lekll
-What?

Sand back, for God's sake. Stand back.

Why? What's happened?

It's a... In there.

-No, don't go any closer.
-No.

Don't be sllly.

-But It's a...
-lt's Monty.

Oh, don't touch It. They blte, you know.
They're polsonousI

Monty Is a python and they don't blte.

Anyway, he wouldn't hurt anyone,
would you, Monty?

Are you trylng to tell me...

-Is that thlng yours?
-Well, of course It Is.

(WHISPERING) And don't shout.
You'll upset hlm. He's very hlghly strung.

Well, what's he dolng In my bath?

Where else could I put hlm?

Anyway, he llkes It In the bath.

Keep that horrlble thlng away from me.

I'm telllng you, you'll have to get rld of It.

It's not staylng here.
You'll have to get rld of It.

Get rld of It? I ean't.

And even If I wanted to, whlch I don't,

-he's part of my act.
-Change your act.

Change my act?

Monty Is a huge success
and you don't replace that In a hurry.

-Do you, darllng?
-Oh, wlll you stop dolng that?

lees me the horrors, those beady llttle eyes
starlng at me all the tlme.

I don't know why you're maklng such a fuss.

lee rne hls basket.

I don't know how you'd feel
If you found a snake In your bath.

I mean, I almost had a heart attack.

Are you sure that thlng's
golng to be safe In there?

Yes, of course he ls.

Monty Is very well behaved.

In you go. There we are.

-H|, Gerry, BIII.
-Wotcha, Joe?

-Plck any wlnners, dld you?
-No.

Oh, It's a mug's game, that.

You want to glve It up, mate,
save your money.

-Hello, sexy.
-My money?

Mlght as well spend It on that
as anythlng else.

Better than throwlng It away
on ruddy women all the tlme, llke you.

What are you talklng about?
I make them pay. That's the secret, mate.

Sex manlac, that's what you are.

You're Just too old, mate, that's your trouble.

Can't get It up any more.

From what I've heard,
you ean't get yours down, mate.

-AII part of me worldly charm, lnnlt?
-Oh, that's what they sell It, Is It?

What's the matter wlth you, eh?
You forgotten what It's llke?

He thlnks he Invented sex.

-Hello, Joe.
-Hello, Dora.

-Haven't seen you for a whlle.
-Been busy, aln't I?

DORA: Two dog rolls, two teas.

The way he earrles on, I'm surprlsed
It aln't dropped off by now.

Go on. You're Just Jealous.

lee hell. You get to my age,
you've done It all, aln't you?

-I get to your age, I'll need to have done.
-Ah, get lost, mate.

You reckon that's all there Is to thls Job,
don't you? Pulllng blrds.

What do you reckon It's all about, then?

You're all the bloody same.

Out on the road for a couple of years,
thlnk you know It all.

-You'll find out.
-Yeah?

How's that dreadful brother of yours?

What? Peter? Dreadful.

-What do you fancy, then?
-What do you thlnk?

-lee us a dog roll, wlll you?
-One dog roll.

He's golng to get done one of these days,
the way he earrles on.

More than llkely.
Stlll, I shan't be there to see It.

Moved out. Couldn't stand It any longer.
Got me own place now.

-Moved In wlth Carol, have you?
-Not bloody llkely.

Yeah? When are you golng to
lnvlte rne round, then?

-Any tlme you llke, darllng.
-Well, I'm free tonlght.

Funny you should say that. So am I.

-Plck you up about 1:00? nght?
-nght.

(MEN CHEERING)

Joe, If I let you, you know...

You wouldn't thlnk rne cheap, would you?

Cheap? No, course not.

Drlnklng double glns all evenlng.

Course not. It's belng emotlonally honest.
What could be wrong wlth that?

Besldes, wlth a fabulous flgure
llke you've got,

It'd be crlmlnal to hlde It away,
now, wouldn't It?

I'll tell you somethlng, you've got
the most beautlful breasts I've ever seen.

Have I?

-l have dreams about them.
-You don't. Really?

I'll tell you somethlng else, too,
they're even better wlth nothlng on.

Oh, Joe...

(momma)

Oh, Joe...

Oh, darllng. you're fantastlc.

But I haven't even got me trousers off yet.

Oh... Joe...

What a scene that was last nlght.

Makes you wonder
whether It's all worthwhlle, doesn't It?

Just got to dellver thls parcel.
Should be falrly stralghtforward.

I don't thlnk I could take
any more excltement, not for a whlle.

Mrs Devere Barker? Parcel for you.

Mmm. Brlng It In, would you?

Oh, If you'd Just llke to pop It down
over there.

I daren't touch It, you see. It's my nalls.

-lt's your what, love?
-Nal|s.

Tropleal Green, number three.

Very exotlc.

The second they're dry
I'll be able to pay you,

only I Just daren't touch anythlng
whlle they're llke thls.

No, It's all rlght, you Just stand there
and dry off.

-l'm In no hurry.
-Oh.

You wouldn't llke a drlnk
whlle you're waltlng, would you?

No, thanks, I'm drlvlng.
But thanks all the same.

Not even a cold beer, somethlng llke that?

-Well, I wouldn't mlnd a beer actually.
-Oh, do help yourself.

Actually, darllng. you couldn't do me

a large Camparl and soda, could you,
whlle you're there?

Yeah.

-A large one?
-Yes, please.

-Say when.
-I never do.

Oh, be an angel, would you,
and Just sllp It between my llps?

Oh, the glass. Yes, of course.

-Sorry to put you to all thls lnconvenlence.
-Don't mentlon It.

It's Just I always seem to get eaught out
when someone arrlves.

Yesterday, It was the televlslon repalrman,
the day before It was the plumber

and as for the wlndow cleaner,
well, every tlme he comes now,

-I seem to be In the bath.
-| see.

Oh, you wouldn't be an angel, would you,
and undo It for me?

It's for a dlnner tonlght.
My husband's In cement.

Oh? Must be uncomfortable for hlm.

It's a presentatlon dlnner, you see,
so I thought I'd wear green

to go wlth my nall varnlsh.

-Very nlce.
-Mmm.

Seems to be all rlght now.
You're not In a rush, are you?

It's Just I'd llke to try It on
to make sure It fits.

-No, no, of course not.
-Oh. Good.

Some gaff thls, lnnlt? Must cost a packet.

I bet she does and all.

Make yourself at home, won't you?
I shan't be long.

What about her, then? Blt of all rlght.

'Shan't be long. My husband's In cement.‘
Bloody hell.

Have you lost somethlng?

Balls. They fell off.

Oh. Never mlnd.

You couldn't glve me a hand wlth the zlp,
could you?

It seems to be stuck
and I don't want to break a nall on It.

These blrds and thelr zlps.

-Jesus.
-lt's a blt stlff.

It won't be the only thlng
If she earrles on llke thls.

Yeah, I see what you mean,
It Is stuck, Isn't It?

Maybe If you pull It?

That had crossed my mlnd.

-Have you done It?
-Yeah, I thlnk so.

Oh. Seems a blt loose.

Oh. Look at that. Just look at It.

That's Just so typleal
of today's workmanshlp.

That's the last dress I shall buy from there.

-Yeah, dlsgraceful.
-Now, what shall I do?

Well, It was the only thlng I could thlnk of,
wasn't It?

Another satlsfled customer.

And the dress dld flt after all.

I suppose I ean't really ask her
for me fare now.

I promlsed that lekl
I'd plck her up from the club.

Mustn't be late In ease
she sets that snake on to me.

Thls Is the one, I thlnk.

How about It, then, guv?
Twelve beautlful glrls, do everythlng.

All naked and they dance.

-Hey, where do you thlnk you're golng?
-lnslde.

-Not wlthout paylng, you're not.
-l'm not golng In, not to see the show.

-l'm Just plcklng up lekl, that's all.
-Yeah. You and a few others.

No, honest. I'm a eab drlver.
Look, rne eab's Just outslde.

It could be anyone's.

Look, If you thlnk you're golng to
galn admlttance here wlthout paylng,

you've got another thlng comlng to you.

I'm telllng you, I'm only here to collect lekl.
I mean, do us a favour, mate.

I know all the taxl drlvers round here, mate.
I don't know your face.

Well, that's sense
I don't normally do thls patch.

I'm only here to collect lekl.
I llve In the same flat as her, see?

You're not the one
who went to bed wlth Monty?

Oh, God! What?

By accldent, was It?
Or dld you need the help?

Go on.

Sorry, mate.

Joe, would you mlnd hanglng on
Just a mlnute?

I've Just got to nlp back and get Monty.

-No rush.
-Okay.

-Okay.
-wrmr

-You comlng or not?
-If you're not qulte ready, I don't mlnd.

-That's Helga.
-Oh?

You ean put your eyeballs back In.
I've lnvlted her for supper tonlght.

Forelgn, Is she?

No. She's a nun from Scunthorpe. Come on.

-That was lovely, lekl.
-Mmm.

-lt was nothlng speclal.
-I enjoyed It. Now what?

I've got some yoghurt In the frldge.

-No, I meant what shall we do now?
-You declde.

Why don't we play a game? Hmm?
What about strlp poker?

Oh, come on, It mlght be fun.
What do you say, Torn?

-No. He doesn't want to play.
-Oh, come on. Just for a glggle.

-Got any eards?
-Cards? Er, no.

Well, how about splnnlng the bottle Instead?
Hmm?

Okay.

Well, I thlnk I'll read my book.

We could always play strlp oulja board,
If you'd prefer?

-Oul]a board, what oulja board?
-No, let's spln the bottle.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

I'll get It.

Where's Joe? I same to see hlm.

Oh, he's not In. He's out.

No. Hls taxl's here.

It's all rlght. He Is expectlng rne.

Hello. I'm Carol. Carol Hotchklss.
Joe's flancee.

I expect he's spoken of me.
Whlch ls hls roorn? That one?

Thank you, dear.

CarolI Llsten, lean explaln.

It's the thlrd house along, on the rlght.
Number 42.

nght you are.
Do you want a hand wlth those?

Would you? Oh, thank you.

You ean Just put them down here.

Oh, that's all rlght.
I don't mlnd earrylng them In for you.

That's very klnd of you.

-l ean't find my key.
-Are you sure?

-Perhaps It's In your bag, loose?
-l'll try.

It's not there.

-What about pockets?
-I haven't got any.

What am I golng to do?

Perhaps you could go to a nelghbour's
tlll your husband gets home.

He's away. On a buslness trlp.
I ean't even get hold of hlm.

Don't you have a spare somewhere?

-Yes, of course.
-Oh, well, then.

It's lnslde.

I thought you mlght have one
under a flower pot or somethlng.

Harold, that's my husband,
Harold's nervous about burglars gettlng In.

All very well, but how do I get In?
I could try to cllmb In, I suppose.

But you'll have to help me.
You wlll, won't you?

I ean't leave a lady In dlstress, ean I?

Let's see If
there's a wlndow open somewhere.

Oh, there won't be one of those.

Thank you.

You wlll be eareful, won't you?

Safe as houses, darllng.

(CRASHING)

Are you all rlght?

What's happened? Are you all rlght?

Say somethlng, please.

What's happenlng up there?

I dldn't know what had happened to you.
I ealled and ealled but you dldn't answer.

-Are you all rlght?
-Yeah, I thlnk so.

Look, you go down and
I'll open the front door.

I ean't. I'm stuck.

What do you mean stuck?
Just go back down the way you eame.

I ean't. I daren't look down. I'll fall.
I'm frlghtened of helghts.

Look, It's qulte slmple. If you ean't go down,
you'd better come on up.

I ean't move. I'm seared.

All rlght then, go back down
the way you eame.

All rlght. Now, don't panlc. You're qulte safe.
Just do as I say. Okay?

Now, put one hand on the next rung up.

Go on, one more.

Now the other one. Keep golng. You're okay.

I'm watchlng you. Up a blt.
No, down, Just a llttle.

Now, In towards the wall, that's It.

Go on, you're dolng flne. Come on.

It's all rlght, you're nearly there. That's It.
Now, glve me your hand. Lovely.

-l ean't put my feet...
-Oh, you're dolng wonderful.

There you go. You're there

-Through the wlndow...
-Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh, you're all wet.

I should have warned you.

-Oh, I'm sorry. I completely forgot.
-Yeah, well.

And of course, that's why
I left the wlndow open,

to let the smell of palnt out.
Oh, and look at your clothes.

They're covered In It.

Oh, you have to let me wash them for you,
you ean't go out llke that.

Oh, well, that's very nlce of you to offer.

I thlnk the least lean do
Is clean your clothes

and glve you a bath, don't you?

I do llke huge bubbly ones, don't you?

-Yeah.
-That's about rlght, now.

-Oh, I ean't walt to get In.
-Nelther ean I.

Bubbles make me go all tlngly all over.
You as well?

Ooh, feels all lovely. All tlngly.

What a way to go.

Marlon?

(MARION GIGGLING)

MarlonI

Marlon, where are you?
Marlon, you In the bath?

AM There you are.
Dldn't you hear me shoutlng?

Oh, darllng. what a lovely surprlse.
I wasn't expectlng you.

What a complete shambles. The whole trlp.

Oh, you poor love.
Why don't you go downstalrs,

put your feet up and pour yourself out
a nlce long drlnk and I'll Joln you,

-you ean tell me all about It.
-Well, there's nothlng to tell.

The entlre flasco was predlctable
from start to flnlsh

and you know who's responslble, don't you?

-Well, I told them, I warned them.
-Yes, you dld.

'You put Peters In as
Actlng Managlng Dlrector

'and you've got nothlng but trouble
on your hands,‘ I sald.

He ean't cope wlth responslblllty,

he's got no lnltlatlve, runs a Ford Anglla
and doesn't play golf. You mark my words.

Well, I've been proved rlght yet agaln.

That's wonderful.
Now, why don't you Just go downstalrs...

Wonderful?

It's frustratlng. Well, It's lnsultlng.

Oh, I qulte agree. Now, why don't you
Just let me flnlsh my bath

and I'll be stralght wlth you?

Yes, I... I could do wlth a drlnk.

-What was that?
-Nothlng.

Just knocked the plug, that's all.

Oh.

(GASPS)

Oh, darllng. ean I get you anythlng?

-What?
-To drlnk.

-No, Just go downstalrs and I'll be...
-Marlon, Is It really necessary

to use all that much bubble bath?

You only bought thls last week
and you've already flnlshed It.

You really must be more eareful In future.
I ean't afford extravagance of thls sort.

I mean, how you expect me
to ralse your housekeeplng allowance

In the face of such flagrant wastage,
I really don't know.

Really must pull yourself together, you know.
You're gettlng very eareless lately.

Won't do, you know. No, won't do.

It's all rlght.

Marlon, I meant to ask you, what on earth
have you been dolng In the bedroom?

There's palnt all over the place.
It's a terrlble mess.

It's the decorators.
It was meant to be a surprlse.

Surprlse? I should thlnk
the only surprlse I'd get would be the blll.

Don't suppose you've thought
to get an estlmate flrst?

-Oh, Harold...
-Never mlnd. Don't upset yourself.

I mean... No, I expect you...
You meant well, yes, llke Peters.

He meant well, I expect.
Incompetent clodhopper,

but the Board llsten? Would they llsten?

Please, Harold, the water's gettlng cold.

Oh. Ah. Yes. Well...

Yes, well, you have your bath
and don't you worry about a thlng.

No, It was a lovely surprlse to flnd palnt
all over the bedroom.

Yes, I thlnk I do need a drlnk.

It's all rlght now. It's all rlght now.

Qulck.

I brought you a drlnk, darllng.
I thought you mlght llke one.

Oh, you mustn't stand about llke that,
not wlth the wlndow open.

Oh, no, no.

Catch your death.

(TYRES SCREECHING)

-Sorry, mate, I'm not...
-St Mary's Convent, Upton Road.

Yeah, but...

Of all the rotten luck. Anyone else but a nun.

I couldn't very well tell her to eff off, could I?

I wonder If I could trouble you
to help me wlth my eases?

I thought I heard you come In.

It's costlng me a bloody fortune
In Jeans, thls Job.

-How come?
-I keep loslng them.

By the way, your brother phoned
whlle you were out.

What, Peter?

He sald somethlng about havlng a lot
of televlslon sets, dld we need one.

-Bloody hell.
-Why? What's the matter?

If he phones up agaln, tell hlm...

I don't know, tell hlm
I've left the country, anythlng.

Why? You don't want to speak to hlm?

Not lfl ean avold It.
I've got enough problems In rne own llfe

wlthout gettlng lumbered wlth hlm
and hls thlevlng.

I may get Into a few scrapes now and agaln

but that's one thlng I've always stayed
well clear of, crlme and all that.

You know what thls ls, buddy? It's a gun.

Just keep your mouth shut.
Do as you're told and you won't get hurt.

-Yeah, but...
-I sald shut up and get golng.

Make one wrong move
and you're dead. Understand?

Just stlck to the drlvlng,

keep your eyes on the road
and you and me wlll get along Just flne.

Now, drlve south and no funny buslness.

I know thls town llke I know my own face.

If you ask me, we should have
rubbed her out there and then.

Don't get no troubles wlth a stlff.

Nobody's asklng you, so shut up!

Supposlng her old man wants to talk to her.

Aln't nobody golng to pay
no ransom for a stlff, dumb-head.

We got to keep her allve to get the dough.
Do you get It?

Yeah. Yeah, but she's already seen us,
so why bother wlth all thls stuff?

So when we sell up her old man, you want
her to tell hlm where we stashed her?

Get It through that thlck skull of yours,
dumb-head,

what she don't know, she ean't tell. Okay?

Then we rub her out?

-Just stlck to the road, pal, llke I told you.
-Why don't we rub her out?

Shut that moron up, wlll you?

Do a rlght, nowI

Llsten, blrdbraln, we don't snuff her
unless there's no other way.

-What If somethlng goes wrong?
-So long as you follow orders, nothlng wlll.

Take the next turnlng on the left.

And keep It real cool and steady.

I am golng to do somethlng.
Soon as I get the chance.

Blt dlfflcult wlth a gun
polntlng at my head, though.

Okay, buddy, turn left, through those gates.

Keep golng.

Further. That's It.

Get that broad out of the eab.

Here, dldn't we ought to rub hlm out, too?

I mean, what's to stop hlm
shootlng hls mouth off?

Okay, buddy. Out of the eab.
Nlce and easy now.

No sudden moves or thls baby goes off.

All rlght, buddy. Out of the eab.
Now, keep It cool.

Put your hands on your head.
Now, turn around.

Come on, turn around! Now get movlng.
Turn around.

Get up.

Come on, hands agalnst the wall.

(GUN CLICKING)

Look. Come on, you ean relax now.

Look at hlm, he fell for It.

I don't belleve It. Look at hls face.

I'm sorry If we seared you.
The whole thlng was a Joke.

Everythlng.

You see, we were at thls party...

And someone suggested that
we wouldn't dare try It In the street.

And that no eabble would belleve It.

So they bet us 20 quld to do It.

-No hard feellngs?
-No hard feellngs?

I've been loslng fares
whlle you've been dolng all thls.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, don't forget to get the paper slgned.

Oh, yes. I almost forgot about that.

We had to brlng back
some klnd of proof that we actually dld It.

Do you thlnk you'd mlnd
slgnlng your name to thls blt of paper?

And If you could add your eab number,
that would be great.

Thanks, mate.

-Hello, Malsle.
-Hello, Joe.

Well, come on, love.
Don't be nervous, I won't blte It off.

-Where to, darllng?
-Oh, the usual, love.

-What, round the block?
-Yeah, that'll do.

Just keep on drlvlng.
I'll glve you a yell when I'm flnlshed.

-nght.
-Here, you heard about Glenda, dldn't you?

(MAN CLEARING THROAT)

Oh, sorry, love. Be wlth you In a mlnute.

-Glenda?
-Yeah. She marrled an Arab she plcked up.

-I thought I hadn't seen her around.
-Yeah. An Arab.

-Wlth oll wells and everythlng.
-No.

Mlnd you, It was only a matter of tlme
before she hooked some old geezer.

JOE: I'd never have thought that about her.

What, gettlng marrled?
Glenda? You're Joklng.

Every tlme she opened her mouth
a weddlng bell popped out.

So how's buslness wlth you?

Oh, It's quletened down a blt
now the tourlst season's over,

but I don't do so bad.

Tell you what, love, you get It out and
start practlslng and I'll Joln you In a mlnute.

Here, Joe, could I have thls one on credlt?

You know, I've Just had
the electrlclty blll In...

Yeah, that's okay.

Oh, you are lovely.
I'll make It up next tlme, I promlse.

Don't worry about It. It's my pleasure.

I'll tell you what,
I dldn't half get a frlght the other week.

I thought I'd eaught a dose, dldn't I?

All rlght. Don't worry.
You have a very nasty cough there.

You should get It seen to.
It mlght be serlous.

That's the fourth one I've had
thls week wlth a cold.

I only hope to God I don't go down wlth It.

That's my trouble, you know.

Anythlng that's golng the rounds,
I seem to plck up.

Yeah, I had notlced.

Anyway, love, ean't slt here chattlng all day.
I've got to get back to work.

(TYRES SCREECHING)

Ahl

Oh, my God.

(MAN GASPING IN PAIN)

(SIRENS WAILING)

(WHISTLING)

Somethlng tells me
thls could be my lucky nlght.

-Number 24, you sald?
-Twenty-four. Yes.

Oh, a rlght llttle sex bomb, thls one.

You ean tell from that volce, ean't you?

All husky and sexy.

I reckon thls one'll need the smooth,
suave James Bond type chat-up.

You In the movles, then?

Sorry?

No, It's Just that I thought
I recognlsed your face from somewhere.

I'd swear I'd seen you on the telly
or the plctures, somewhere llke that.

-Posslbly.
-I knew It.

I knew you were In show buslness.
Are you famous, then?

Well, If I was, you'd know who I am,
wouldn't you?

Yeah, well, I do, It's Just that your name
eseapes me for the moment. That's all.

Bunny McQueen.

Bunny McQueen. Of course.
How could I ever forget that?

Bunny McQueen? Oh, I get It.

Bunny. Must work at that Playboy Club.

One of those blrds wlth long floppy ears,
all dressed up llke rabblts.

Yeah, probably been
In that Playboy magazlne.

You know. Playmate of the Month?

I bet If I looked, I'd flnd a plcture of you
on Tom's garage wall.

-Who's Torn?
-Oh, he's a guy I llve wlth.

-Is he nlce?
-Yeah, he's all rlght.

Not as nlce as you, though.

(LAUGHS)

She fancles me, don't she?

I'm In here lfl play me eards rlght.

Make yourself at home.

(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

Slt down. Relax.

I should slt over there If I were you.
It's more comfortable.

I'll Just get the wlne.

-Here we are.
-Well, here we are then.

-Have you been together long?
-What?

-Thls boy you llve wlth.
-Oh, Torn. No, Just a few weeks.

Well, we've known each other
for a couple of years now.

But we've only been llvlng together
a short tlme.

He's not golng to get Jealous,
If he comes back and flnds me here?

No, probably fancy you hlmself.

Oh, let me.

Must need a new fllnt.
Hang on, I've got some matches somewhere.

Sorry about that.

That's a really great outflt you're wearlng.

on, do you llke It?
I deslgn all my own clothes.

Yeah, well, It looks terrlflc.

I suppose I shouldn't really
be wearlng It now,

but after I flnlsh work I Just want to get away.

I ean't be bothered to change.

Oh, no, you mustn't change.
I mean, you look great as you are.

A real turn-on. Honest. It's a tough one, thls.

No, no. It's all rlght. I'll get It out In a mlnute.

Come on. Why don't you let me try?

No, you'll never do It.

-Have you got the glasses ready?
-What? Oh, yeah.

Sorry, we're a blt short on glasses.

Well, thls Is very nlce.

Thank you.

I thlnk you're very nlce.
You comfortable, are you?

Mmm. Thank you.

I thlnk you're really somethlng. Really, I do.

I hope you won't mlnd If I say thls, but...

I thlnk you've got the most
beautlfully shaped breasts I've ever seen.

-Really beautlful.
-Yes. Yes, they're much better now.

Mlnd you, they cost me a fortune.

So, urn, why don't we glve them
a llttle alr to breathe, eh?

You've got lovely legs and all, really lovely.

I have to shave them, of course.

(SHE GIGGLES)

Bloody heIII

-What's the matter?
-YouI

-You're a fellaI
-But of course I am.

What dld you thlnk I was?

I wonder lfl could have hlm
under the Trades Descrlptlons Act?

-Chrlst almlghtyI
-Get golng, mlster, fast.

-Where to?
-Never mlnd now, Just drlve.

Help. Help, I've been robbed!

Must have gone to the same party.
Stlll, tenner a tlme, I should eare.

-l'l| play the game.
-Can't you go any faster?

I'm dolng my best but watch out
for the law. I don't want to get done.

We'll take eare of that. Just drlve. Left.

(HORN HONKING)

Chrlst almlghty,
you mlght glve me some warnlng.

MAN ON RADIO: All cars west
Robbery ln Praed Street

Your attentlon ls called
to a black London taxl,

belleved to contaln suspects.
1505, over.

What do we do, stop them all?

Turn rlght. Just where that van ls.

Wouldn't It be easler If you told me
where we're maklng for?

We're golng to have an accldent at thls rate.

Look, I'm glvlng the orders round here,
so shut up and keep drlvlng.

I suppose they've got to come on heavy,
otherwlse It wouldn't count.

I wonder when they get round
to the blt about dolng me In?

Not as good as the last lot.
Much more reallstlc, they were.

(SIRENS WAILING)

Are we belng followed?

-Don't thlnk so.
-That's all rlght.

Golng In the opposlte dlrectlon.

It's all clear.
He could drop us off at the end here.

Are you klddlng'? He's comlng wlth us.
We may need a hostage.

Look, mate, why don't I Just drop you here
llke your mate suggested?

lean slgn your paper
and you ean be on your way.

Paper?

ljust thlnk It'd save us all
a lot of tlme, that's all.

-What paper? What are you talklng about?
-You know, for your mates.

'I hereby declare I've done
the dreadful deed' and all that rubblsh.

I won't tell them I cottoned on.

Llsten. Just shut up and keep drlvlng.

Come on, don't let's get earrled away.

A Joke's a Joke,
but I keep loslng buslness dolng thls lark.

That won't be the only thlng
you'll lose, you don't belt up.

Look, falr's falr, but you go too far.

I'm not golng to slgn your paper,
I'm warnlng you, so watch your step.

-Now, see here...
-Left. Sharp leftI

JOE: Hang about. What's all thls then?

Go rlght down the end to the garage,
drlve rlght In.

-Oh, I get It, I get It.
-You wlll If you don't belt up.

It's bleedlng Torn, lnnlt?

I mean, I told hlm about the other kldnap
and he thought...

Very funny!

-What are you dolng here?
-You should know.

What a bloody prank.
Look, It's costlng me money, thls game.

-You know hlm?
-Course he bloody knows me.

-l llve here, don't I?
-What happened?

-Where's the ear?
-Parked on a double yellow llne, dldn't he?

We do the Job, corne rushlng out
wlth the stuff,

there's our getaway ear
belng done for parklng.

Had to come back by a eab.

And of all the eabs In London,
you had to plck...

(LAUGHING) on, no.

I stlll say we ean't trust hlm.

I'm telllng you he's a mate.
He's not golng to shop us.

-I won't. I won't.
-And I say we shouldn't chance It.

Look, I'm not golng to say anythlng.

As far as I'm concerned, It never happened.
I don't know nothlng about It.

See? I'll guarantee hlm. Now, don't worry.

-Don't worry?
-How much do you thlnk I'm worth?

Now look, lekl, we haven't got tlme
for all that, love. Take them off, please?

I knew I'd look good In expenslve thlngs.

Yeah, you look lovely. Now get them off.

nght, well, If you've all flnlshed wlth me,
I thlnk I'd better get back to work.

Slt down. You aln't golng anywhere.

-Yeah, well, I Just thought...
-Well, don't.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

-You expectlng anyone?
-lt's all rlght. It's not the law.

And I thought taxl drlvlng was a straln.

nght, let's get thls stuff away somewhere.

It's maklng me nervous
lylng around the place.

Yeah, where are you golng to put It?

I know a place where no one'll look. lekl?

Oh, come here, Monty.

-Chrlst almlghtyI
-Hello, what are you dolng here?

-You two know each other?
-Yeah, he's my brother, Isn't he?

-Bloody hell, what's that?
-A hlppopotamus.

What are you dolng mlxed up In all thls?

I'm In the blg tlme now, aren't I?

I don't belleve It. ljust don't belleve It.

PETER: I was drlvlng the getaway ear,
wasn't I?

Oh, yeah, parked on a double yellow llne.

PETER: I've done It before
and never got nlcked.

So tell us what happened.

Nothlng happened, I got a bollocklng.

You lot eame runnlng out of the shop
wlth the stuff.

Well, the copper, he forgot about me,
so I drove off.

Yeah. We should have been wlth you.

It looks llke you managed
to plck up a eab all rlght, don't It?

thtle bleeder. I ought to do you.

I saw what happened.
Dldn't know It was Joe drlvlng It, though.

How much dld he charge you?

-You thlnk you're very funny, don't you?
-Come on, Harry, lay off.

How do we know he wasn't followed?
Bloody amateur, comlng stralght back here.

So what else was I supposed to do?
It wasn't me they were followlng.

Yeah, well, any more cheek
and I'll lay one on you so hard

my flst'll come out the back of your head.

Take It easy, Harry, yeah?

The kld dldn't mean nothlng.
Just let It rest, okay?

Trouble Is, my frlends, what do we do now?

I mean, for all we know,
they mlght have taken Joe's number.

For all we know, they mlght be on the way
round here rlght now.

Taken my number?

That's great, that Is.
That's really landed me In It.

Tom's rlght. We ought to spllt
before they get on to us.

Yeah, we'll meet up tomorrow
llke we planned.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Too late, they're here.

-Can't see anyone.
-Well, It's not rlnglng on Its own.

Who Is It?

If nobody makes a sound,
perhaps they'll go away.

Look, maybe you'd better go
and see who It Is.

-What?
-Do you want me to go?

You stay rlght where you are. Yeah. Go on.

CAROL: It's no use hldlng.
I know you're In there, Joe North.

Bloody hell, that's all I need.

Answer thls door
or I'll scream the place down.

You let me In or I'm warnlng you,
I'll get the pollce to knock the door In.

-Oh, Carol.
-You took your tlme, dldn't you?

-Where Is he?
-Who?

Oh, Joe.

Who dld you thlnk I meant? Mlckey Mouse?

-He's out. Worklng.
-What? When hls taxl's here?

What's he drlvlng? Horse and salt?

Hls taxl's not here. He's out In It.

Really. Well, I have Just bumped Into
the tall lady from Number 3,

wlth the toy poodle and the blue rlnse.

And accordlng to her, Joe's taxl
drove Into your garage 10 mlnutes ago.

So unless It's gone stralght through
your back wall, It's stlll here, lnnlt?

Well, you see, I wouldn't know about that,
'eause I was asleep.

He's up there, Isn't he?
He's up there wlth another bloody blrdI

OhI

-Joe, get rld of her.
-What am I supposed to do?

lfl flnd you In a compromlslng posltlon
wlth your knlckers down, I'll...

Oh.

-Dldn't know you had company.
-Hello, Carol.

I Just same to tell you that I've forglven you.
For what you was dolng last tlme I saw you.

-Oh, thank you.
-Yes.

I've thought It over very earefully
and I declded that what you dld

was a moment of weakness on your behalf,
so I have forglven you.

-Great.
-I thought you'd be pleased.

-Yeah. Great.
-Well,

aren't you golng to Introduce rne

to your frlends?

Oh. Yes. Thls ls Peter.

Yes, I know Peter, and Tom,
and that lekl as well.

And thls ls Jeremy.

Terrlbly pleased to meet you.

-And Rupert.
-Pleased to meet you.

I'm Joe's flancee. Carol Hotchklss.

Actually, Harry, Bernard and Jlm
were Just about to leave.

Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, we're golng.
-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Yeah.
-Bye, Rupert.

Nlce to have met you.

What dld you say they do for a llvlng?

-lnsurance.
-Anthues.

-Banklng.
-Computers.

What Is golng on?

What do you mean? Nothlng. Why?

Is there somethlng
I'm not supposed to know about?

It's Just that I get the lmpresslon...

-I mean, what's he dolng here for a start?
-Just come to see my brother, haven't I?

You've got someone here, haven't you?

Another woman,
another naked tart In the bedroom.

Oh, for God's sake.
Look, there's no one here but us, that's all.

-How am I supposed to know that?
-Well, you've Just got a susplclous mlnd.

That's your trouble.
You're worse than the CIA, Into everythlng.

If I eaught you wlth another woman,
Joe North,

so help me, I would klll you, I would.

Especlally after I've forglven you
for your mlsdemeanour.

Llsten, darllng, you know
you're the only glrl In the world for me.

It's Just that... I've learnt my lesson.

Come on, let's go down the pub
and have a drlnk, eh?

-Do you really mean that?
-Yes, I'm thlrsty. I could do wlth one.

No. About me belng
the only glrl In the world.

Course I do. Come on.

Oh, well, don't push me, all rlght?
I mean, the pubs aren't even open yet.

-So? We ean walt.
-Whlch one dld you want to go to?

Oh, any one...

Thank God for that.

Good day, slr. Madam.
Golng somewhere, were we?

-Who are you?
-Do you mlnd If we step lnslde, slr?

-What dld you want?
-If you don't mlnd, slr?

-No, you see, we were Just on our way out.
-I had notlced.

Yes, we were waltlng tlll the pubs opened.

Inspector Rogers, CID.

-And thls ls Sergeant Jeeves.
-Afternoon, all.

I rather thought you mlght be able
to help us wlth our enqulrles.

Oh, what's been happenlng?

OII You got a search warrant?

Why? You hldlng somethlng?

You're wlth hlm. And you're wlth hlm.

nght?

So? Who are you wlth?

Myself.

Joe, what's thls all about?

You're a blt young to be
In thls sort of league, aren't you?

I dldn't know there was an age llmlt.

Look, what are we supposed
to be helplng hls enqulrles wlth?

Carol, love.

It's to do wlth sex, Isn't It?

You've been havlng orgles up here,
haven't you? That's what It Is, Isn't It?

-Orgles.
-No, ma'am.

Well, It must be somethlng llke that.

I mean, If Joe's anythlng to do wlth It,
It must be sexy.

You've got a one-track mlnd, you have.

All rlght, If It's not orgles, what Is It then?

You mlght say It's a llttle treasure hunt.

Joe, what have you got yourself
mlxed up wlth now?

-Nothlng.
-I bet you have.

Especlally If there's a woman Involved.

-Llsten, there's nothlng up here.
-Not accordlng to your two frlends.

We've got them outslde,

-plcked them up a few mlnutes ago.
-What two frlends?

We know all about your llttle eaper
at the Jewellers.

I'm sorry, I really don't know
what you're talklng about.

Why don't you Just come clean?
Your frlends have.

Found any llttle trlnkets yet?

Not yet, slr.

You're not golng to flnd anythlng here.

We'll see. Llfe's full of llttle surprlses,
Isn't It?

Jesus ChrlstI

I'm sorry, slr, I dldn't mean to shout,
It's Just there's a bloody snake In there.

That Is Monty.

He Is my speclallty and
he's very hlghly strung.

Please don't upset hlm.
He's got a performance tonlght.

-There's nothlng there, slr.
-Told you.

Here, I've Just reallsed,
you're looklng for stolen property.

Carol, why don't you belt up?

But the cheek of It. I mean,

comlng In here and searchlng thls place
llke we were all crlmlnals.

No, you tell hlm, Joe. Go on, tell hlm.

Carol, Carol wlll you shut up, Carol?

Go on. Go on, tell hlm.

Ask to see hls search warrant.
Go on. Ask. Ask.

Go on. Go on.

If you don't ask,
I shall never speak to you agaln,

even though I have forglven you.

Have you got somethlng to say, then?

-Wel|, urn, Inspector...
-Go on, go on, tell hlm to get out.

Yes, urn...

And tell hlm to apologlse.
Tell hlm you know your rlghts.

Tell hlm you'll sue hlm for llbel
If he don't apologlse.

She'll get me Jalled for llfe.

Go on, Joe, tell hlm. Joe Is my flancee.

Well, urn, Inspector, as you don't appear
to have found anythlng...

That's rlght. Really lay It on hlm.

I suggest we, urn, eall It a day.

-Don't you?
-That's a blt pathetlc, lnnlt?

-CarolI
-Well, I mean, he'sJust ealled us

a bunch of crlmlnals.
We could sue hlm for that.

Excuse me, ma'am,
I haven't ealled any of you crlmlnals

yet.

CAROL: Oh, yes, you dld. I heard you.

You sald we had stolen goods.
What sort of people do you thlnk we are?

Accuslng us of belng crlmlnals.
We are respectable.

I have never done anythlng crlmlnal
In my llfe. I work In a supermarket.

-lekl.
-And as for Joe. Well, he's a taxl drlver

and Peter ls, well...

And as for Tom, well, you could hardly
eall hlm a crlmlnal. He's a mechanlc.

-N|kkl...
-And lekl,

-wel|, she's respectable. She's a strlpper.
-leklI

And so the last thlng you could ever flnd
In thls place would be stolen property.

Just been vlsltlng Torn. Poor bastard.
Got flve years. Hlm and hls mates.

I thought I was golng to go down myself
at one polnt.

But as I explalned to them,
I was a vlctlm of the clrcumstances.

And they let me off wlth a eautlon.

Mlnd you, I thlnk they were glad to see
the back of me,

'eause Carol was pesterlng
the llfe out of them.

lekl got out of It all rlght. Probatlon.
Flrst offence.

Tom's asked me
to keep an eye on her for hlm.

That's a favour I shan't mlnd dolng.

Lost me a lot of tlme, though,
all thls buslness wlth the law.

Lost me a place to llve and all.
Guess where I've ended up?

MRS NORTH: Nothlng llke
home cooklng, Is there?

Not llke your home cooklng, there Isn't.

Carol rang up. Sald she'd be round at 0:00.
You were taklng her out.

Oh, yeah. That's really lumbered me
In It, that has.

I suppose the only good thlng
that's come out of thls ls you.

Gettlng off on probatlon.

Really shook you up, that brush wlth the law.

Good thlng, too.
Turned over a new leaf, you have.

You stlll eat anythlng that
lles stlll on a plate though, don't you?

So, you've learnt your lesson.
I'm glad to see It.

Good to see you golng stralght.

Well, I'm off. Where's my fares book?

Bloody heIII

Here, don't you bloody swear
In front of the baby. Teaches her bad hablts.

Hello, darllng.
Whlch brldge do you want thls tlme?

Post Offlce Tower, please.

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100:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074Advertise your product or brand herecontact www.OpenSubtitles.org today200:00:21,999 --> 00:00:24,877I My man'l a flux! driver300:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,949I My man'l a flux! driver400:00:29,519 --> 00:00:32,352I I'd like to like a ride with you500:00:33,279 --> 00:00:36,316I Don't want to he fled to you600:00:36,919 --> 00:00:43,597I I promlee I'll try my very beltto pleue you, derllng700:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,430I You know that lelr'e lelr vvlth me800:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,354I There'e thlnge you can lhere vvlth me900:00:50,599 --> 00:00:52,351ISo teke mytlp1000:00:52,440 --> 00:00:56,752I And we can lklp lormelltlee1100:00:56,919 --> 00:01:01,788I Won't you be my crulelng Connove1200:01:02,239 --> 00:01:06,152I Cllclr your llngerl and I'll be over there1300:01:06,319 --> 00:01:10,756I Smoothlng your helr,loothlng your core. evvey1400:01:11,520 --> 00:01:16,355I There'e no reluelng, Connove1500:01:16,440 --> 00:01:20,592I Stop the clock and Ivorlrlng overtlme1600:01:20,800 --> 00:01:25,954I Crulelng Connove, be mlne1700:01:27,759 --> 00:01:30,592I My men'e e texl drlverI1800:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,111(BELLS CHIMING)1900:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,996NARRATOR: Every major lntemetlonel clty2000:01:45,079 --> 00:01:49,470he that molt populer mean- ol treneport,the texl.2100:01:49,559 --> 00:01:54,792That unlque brand of conveyancevvhlch comblnea el'llclency vvlth lndlvlduallty.2200:01:54,880 --> 00:01:58,509Perhapa, moat popularfor the personal aervloe lt provldea.2300:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,955Enthualaatlc, hard-vvorlrlng,vvlth never a moment'a reat,2400:02:06,119 --> 00:02:10,351probably the tax! drlver'amoat lovable attrlbute la the warm welcome2500:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,876he la alvvaya eagerto extend to lorelgn vlaltorl.2600:02:15,759 --> 00:02:17,351The moment you hall a taxl,2700:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,796you can be lureof belng greeted by a lrlendly amlle,2800:02:20,879 --> 00:02:22,710a concern for your Ivell-belng,2900:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,588and aomeone at the wheel alvvaya readyto lend a helplng hand.3000:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,678There are, at preaent,llterally mllllona ol taxla3100:02:46,759 --> 00:02:50,513operatlng throughout the worldon a 24-hour baala.3200:02:51,920 --> 00:02:55,629Enaurlng that at any tlme,day or nlght, vvlthln aeconda3300:02:55,720 --> 00:02:59,838you can be apeedlng happlly avvayto the deatlnatlon of your cholce.3400:03:02,519 --> 00:03:07,274Renowned for thelr total lack of prejudlce,a tax! vvlll atop for anybody3500:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,113lrreapectlve of colour, claaa or creed.3600:03:16,600 --> 00:03:20,798Adored by the publlc lor thelrvvhlmalcal charm and dellghtlul dlapoaltlon,3700:03:21,119 --> 00:03:23,872perhapa more than any other formof publlc tranaport,3800:03:23,960 --> 00:03:28,476the tax! drlver holda a unlque placeIn the heart: of the people.3900:03:28,559 --> 00:03:31,915Not leaat, hla lellovv road uaerlvvho appreclate to the full4000:03:31,999 --> 00:03:36,197that qulet, courteoua patlence,that affable, lrlendly manner,4100:03:36,279 --> 00:03:38,873that conalderatlon lor hla lellovv motorlatl4200:03:38,960 --> 00:03:43,988vvlth whom he la alvvaya ready to exchangea lrlendly wave and aome merry llttle qulp.4300:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,999(MOUTHING)4400:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,598But poaalbly more than anythlng elaeto hla credlt,4500:03:49,679 --> 00:03:53,228the tax! drlver bear: the dlatlnctlonol belng a drlver of knowledge,4600:03:53,319 --> 00:03:55,514experlence and el'llclency,4700:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,636reaaaurlng all who drlve vvlth hlm4800:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,792that the tax! la not only the aaleat vehlcleon the road,4900:04:01,039 --> 00:04:05,396but holda the proud record for belngInvolved In the leaat number of accldentl.5000:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,714(MAN WHISTLING)5100:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,192(TYRES SCREECHING)5200:04:09,439 --> 00:04:10,667(CRASHING)5300:04:12,880 --> 00:04:18,876Wlthout a doubt, we, the publlc, ovve muchto theae gallant lrnlghtl ol the road,5400:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,315of whom It can truly be aald,5500:04:21,399 --> 00:04:25,995"Everythlng we feel for them,they feel for ua. "5600:04:28,320 --> 00:04:29,389(BLOWING RASPBERRY)5700:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,750That'll be 15, guv. Thank you.5800:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,952Thank you very much.5900:04:53,760 --> 00:04:54,875Well, you try emlllng6000:04:54,959 --> 00:04:57,427when you've been lumbarad wltha mleerable tlght-flated glt Ilke hlm,6100:04:57,519 --> 00:04:59,111after you've fought throughall the bleedlng traffic6200:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,919and had hlm moanlng on at you,Ilke It was all your fault.6300:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,592Sorry about that.6400:05:07,679 --> 00:05:10,034Been a blt of a bad day. Know what I mean?6500:05:10,119 --> 00:05:11,791By the way, my name's Joe.6600:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,111Well, wlth a name Ilke that,I had to go In the eabblng bualneaa, dldn't I?6700:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,918Been at It a year or so now.6800:05:16,999 --> 00:05:20,992Have my own eab. Well, almost.Soon as I've flnlahed paylng for It.6900:05:21,079 --> 00:05:22,671Yeah, It's not such a bad Job really.7000:05:22,759 --> 00:05:25,432Hard work, but thenso la anythlng these days.7100:05:25,520 --> 00:05:26,839Not that I mlnd.7200:05:26,919 --> 00:05:29,513Got me health and strength.Know what I mean?7300:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,160Mlnd you, I'll be a lot happlerwhen I get my own place.7400:05:32,239 --> 00:05:34,275Trouble ls, you see, I llve at home.7500:05:34,359 --> 00:05:36,793You need a blt of peace and quletafter dolng thls Job.7600:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,952And llvlng at home? No Joke, I can tell you.7700:05:40,039 --> 00:05:41,757Oh, yeah, makes a great start to the day.7800:05:43,799 --> 00:05:46,074Oh, come on, Mum, I'm late as It Is.7900:05:47,279 --> 00:05:48,997Well, It's your own fault.8000:05:49,079 --> 00:05:51,547Comlng In here last nlght, plssed as a newt,8100:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,552crashlng about all over the placeand waklng me up.8200:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,438Lay off, Ma, wlll you? Do us a favour.8300:05:57,559 --> 00:06:00,312You're gettlng more llke your fatherevery day, you are.8400:06:00,399 --> 00:06:03,471And you're golng to end up llke hlm,mark my words.8500:06:03,559 --> 00:06:04,878And where were you last nlght?8600:06:04,959 --> 00:06:07,917Out screwlng some poor Innocent llttle glrl,I suppose.8700:06:07,999 --> 00:06:10,877-Just llke your father.-Don't make me laugh.8800:06:10,959 --> 00:06:13,712You hardly knew hlm.You only met hlm once.8900:06:13,799 --> 00:06:16,597Don't talk llke that In front of the baby.9000:06:16,679 --> 00:06:20,831And woke her up and all, dldn't he,my dear llttle pet?9100:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,070Have more conslderatlon.9200:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,436It was twlce I met hlm. Twlce.9300:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,237lee me them.9400:06:28,320 --> 00:06:32,996Mummy wlll glve you somethlng nlcer thanthat to play wlth, there's a good llttle glrl.9500:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,390Are you golng to slt starlng at thatall day or are you golng to eat It?9600:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,631I don't feel llke eatlng.Look, Just glve me a cup of tea, wlll you?9700:06:40,719 --> 00:06:42,994I don't know why I bother, I really don't.9800:06:43,079 --> 00:06:46,389Food Is wastedJust as though It cost nothlng.9900:06:46,479 --> 00:06:50,313All rlght, all rlght. Somethlng's burnlng.Porrldge, by the smell.10000:06:52,399 --> 00:06:56,074Oh, It's all rlght, Just at the bottom.The top's all rlght.10100:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,838-I don't llke porrldgeI-Yes, you do. It's lovely.10200:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,354It's horrldI HorrldI HorrldI10300:07:04,440 --> 00:07:05,429Shut up!10400:07:05,519 --> 00:07:06,634(ALICE SCREAMING)10500:07:06,719 --> 00:07:10,758OhI Now look what you've done.You know It makes her cry.10600:07:10,839 --> 00:07:14,149All rlght, I glve up. That's It.Bloody hell. I'm late as It Is.10700:07:14,239 --> 00:07:17,197-Where's my fares book?-0h, In the cupboard.10800:07:21,519 --> 00:07:22,952Oh, my God!10900:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,315That llttle tyke's been thlevlng agaln,aln't he?11000:07:25,399 --> 00:07:28,118Where Is he? PeterI Come In hereI11100:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,476-PeterI-And he's llke hls father and all.11200:07:31,559 --> 00:07:35,438Wlnd up In the same cell wlth hlm,I shouldn't wonder, the way he's earrylng on.11300:07:35,520 --> 00:07:36,509PeterI11400:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,670How am I supposed to get to sleepwlth all thls racket?11500:07:38,799 --> 00:07:40,551Yeah? So? Where's the fire, then?11600:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,631Over here. Come here.11700:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,075Look, what have you got to say aboutall thls lot, then?11800:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,232Good gear, lnnlt?I mean, It's not rubblsh, Is It?11900:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,550You sald you'd got a proper Job.12000:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,393Well, I have.I mean, I'm dolng It proper now, aren't I?12100:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,678Been worklng very hard at It and all.I've got a sharp llttle organlsatlon together.12200:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,638You're golng to get us all Into trouble.Anyone could Just walk In.12300:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,995And all that lot lylng there.12400:08:03,079 --> 00:08:07,231Not to mentlon 20 cartons of halrsprayI found hldden under my bed.12500:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,038Fell off the back of a lorry, dldn't they, Mum?12600:08:09,119 --> 00:08:11,235You're golng to end up In the nlckwlth 10 years ahead of you.12700:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,676Peter's golng In the nlck,Peter's golng In the nlck.12800:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,478Why can't you get an honest Job for once?12900:08:16,559 --> 00:08:19,198What? lee drlvlng a cab? Leave off.13000:08:19,279 --> 00:08:21,110Anyway, that's no more thanbleedlng hlghway robbery,13100:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,872so what are you dolng telllng meto go stralght?13200:08:22,959 --> 00:08:24,7900h, cholce. I Ilke that.13300:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,873Just don't ask me to ball you out, that's all.13400:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,432It's your funeral.13500:08:47,359 --> 00:08:49,714What'd I tell you, eh? It's always llke that.13600:08:49,799 --> 00:08:52,996Makes It a pleasure golng to workof a mornlng.13700:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,997I tell you what'd cheer me up,be to plck up a nlce blt of crumpet.13800:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,230Very handy for lntroductlons, thls motor.13900:09:13,719 --> 00:09:16,631I I ran about town llke you14000:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,998I And had better thlnga to do14100:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,671I Than apendlng the tlme14200:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,752I I'll see that It's worth your whlle14300:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,796I Oh, baby14400:09:27,879 --> 00:09:31,588I I know you've been runnlng free14500:09:31,719 --> 00:09:34,108I l thlnk you'd have fun wlth me14600:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,156I Forget the rest14700:09:36,240 --> 00:09:40,279I l'd llke to teat your drlvlng atyle14800:09:40,359 --> 00:09:42,395I Won't you be my14900:09:42,479 --> 00:09:45,596I Crulalng Casanova15000:09:45,800 --> 00:09:49,679I Cllck your flngera and I'll be over there15100:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,637I Smoothlng your halr15200:09:51,719 --> 00:09:54,279I Soothlng your cares away15300:09:54,880 --> 00:09:59,795I There's no refualng, Casanova15400:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,953I Stop the clock and worklng overtlme15500:10:04,200 --> 00:10:08,034I Crulslng Casanova, be mlne I15600:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,799-Where to, darllng?-Lambeth Brldge, please.15700:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,632nght you are, then.15800:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,758Nlce mornlng. Isn't It? You off to work, then?15900:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,149Yeah, I thought so. I can usually tell.16000:10:37,239 --> 00:10:39,958Belng In thls Jobyou have to be a blt of a psychologlst.16100:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,030What do you do for a llvlng, eh?No, don't tell me.16200:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,438Let me guess.16300:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,954I'd say you're a secretary, rlght?16400:10:46,039 --> 00:10:49,270Personal secretary to some oll magnate. Eh?16500:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,998Really hlgh-powered.16600:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,911Don't let appearances fool you.16700:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,355Be a rlght llttle raver, thls one,when It gets golng.16800:10:55,439 --> 00:10:57,270Got a lovely llttle body on her, too.16900:10:57,359 --> 00:10:59,111No mlstake.17000:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,077Looks a blt mlserable, though.17100:11:01,159 --> 00:11:03,275I know what she needs. nght?17200:11:03,359 --> 00:11:05,111That's another thlng lean tell.17300:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,875Whether a blrd's had a good seelng to or notthe nlght before.17400:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,794I reckon that one's hada rlght thln tlme of It lately, don't you?17500:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,111Born In London, were you?No, don't tell me. Let me guess.17600:11:16,199 --> 00:11:20,158I'd say, Judglng from your accent,that you're from somewhere up north, rlght?17700:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,196Yes, lean usually tell.17800:11:22,280 --> 00:11:25,317Somewhere llke leerpool, maybe?17900:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,675Yeah. leerpool, I'd say.18000:11:27,759 --> 00:11:29,750She's weakenlng. What'd I tell you, eh?18100:11:29,840 --> 00:11:33,833Oh, yes, deflnltely softenlng up.Stands out a mlle.18200:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,591Whlch slde of the brldge, love?18300:11:35,679 --> 00:11:37,670-Mlddle.-The mlddle?18400:11:37,759 --> 00:11:39,829nght, then. Mlddle It Is.18500:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,068That'll be... Here, hang on!18600:11:54,159 --> 00:11:57,629HeyI Hang on a mlnute, darllng.What about my fare?18700:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,753Go away and leave me alone!Please. Just leave me alone.18800:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,637But I never lald a finger on you.18900:12:12,719 --> 00:12:16,029What's the matter wlth you?Jesus Chrlst, I only want me bleedlng fare.19000:12:16,119 --> 00:12:17,757Look, If you haven't got It,there's no need to panlc.19100:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,796I mean It. Don't come any closer.19200:12:19,879 --> 00:12:22,109All rlght. All rlght. I'm golng. I'm golng.19300:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,758You don't eare, do you?19400:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,398-Nobody eares.-Eh?19500:12:25,479 --> 00:12:27,197No one wlll even notlce I'm dead.19600:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,397All rlght then, If that's the way It Is,I'll Jump rlow.19700:12:30,479 --> 00:12:32,390-0h, my God!-Don't try and stop me.19800:12:32,479 --> 00:12:34,549It's too late. My mlnd's made up.19900:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,596No. Walt. Don't do It!20000:12:36,680 --> 00:12:41,196The paln, the sufferlng, wlll only endwhen the Icy waters close over me,20100:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,508earrylng me away Into obllvlon.20200:12:42,599 --> 00:12:45,557-Funny blrd.-The dreamless sleep of eternlty.20300:12:45,639 --> 00:12:46,958Darllng, why don't you tell me about It?20400:12:47,039 --> 00:12:49,837I mean, I don't pretend to understand.I've onlyjust met you, haven't I?20500:12:49,919 --> 00:12:52,717But you know what they say, rlght?'A trouble shared Is a trouble halved.‘20600:12:52,799 --> 00:12:55,552All lean say ls,well, It seems to me a terrlble waste,20700:12:55,639 --> 00:12:57,948beautlful glrl llke youtrylng to do away wlth herself.20800:12:58,039 --> 00:13:00,678What do you say, eh?I mean, nothlng's ever that bad, really.20900:13:00,760 --> 00:13:04,036-Not when you come down to It.-lt's too late for talklng rlow.21000:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,997Oh, please, darllng. try, eh?21100:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,471I'm all alone In the world.No one loves me. No one eares.21200:13:10,560 --> 00:13:14,155You don't know what It's llketo be left alone, unloved, unwanted.21300:13:14,239 --> 00:13:15,911Hold on. I don't belleve It.21400:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,309Beautlful glrl llke youand no one wants to know?21500:13:18,399 --> 00:13:20,117Llsten, I could love you.21600:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,190I mean, the first tlme I saw you,I sald to meself,21700:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,952'Now there's a glrl I could really love.‘21800:13:24,039 --> 00:13:26,758There was a man. Once.21900:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,319I thought he loved me.22000:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,994-0h, Ronald, Ronald!-Watch yourself, you'll fall!22100:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,675He's never comlng back.I'll never see hlm agaln. "ever! I want to dle.22200:13:34,759 --> 00:13:38,229I ean't face llfe wlthout hlm.0h, Ronald, Ronald!22300:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,514(SHE YELPS)22400:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,195I ean't even klll myself properly.I'm a fallure at everythlng.22500:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,635No, you Just need cheerlng up, that's all.22600:13:47,719 --> 00:13:49,675Look, you've had a nasty shock, rlght?22700:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,990Why don't I take you home, eh?Where do you llve?22800:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,790Do you really thlnkI'll ever be able to forget Ronald?22900:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,075Course you wlll. Wlth a blt of help.23000:13:57,159 --> 00:14:01,152I need love, you see.That's what I need, lots of lovlng.23100:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,913Well, I dld Just save her llfe, dldn't I?23200:14:03,999 --> 00:14:06,467I mean, the way I look at It,It's an offer I ean't refuse.23300:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,994And strong arms. Strong arms to hold me.23400:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,436Hold you?It's llke trylng to undress a bloody octopus.23500:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,397I don't want you to thlnk I'm promlscuous23600:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,832Just beeauseyou eaught me at a weak moment.23700:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,196Oh, I don't. I don't.Look, Just llft up a blt, wlll you?23800:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,635It's Just that wlthout Ronald,I feel so helpless.23900:14:21,719 --> 00:14:23,277I don't know, you seem to be dolng all rlght.24000:14:23,359 --> 00:14:25,236I wlsh he was here rlght now,so he could see.24100:14:25,319 --> 00:14:26,718Oh, I don't.24200:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,113LlndaI24300:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,156-lt's Ronald.-Ronald?24400:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,796-0hI-You got It all wrong, mate.24500:14:37,879 --> 00:14:39,392It's not llke that at all.24600:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,788I've Just brought her back In my eab,you see.24700:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,711And you're Just collectlng the fare,that rlght?24800:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,118Yeah. NoI24900:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,191You mustn't get It wrong.25000:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,037I dldn't dare leave her.25100:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,156She was golng to do herself In.25200:14:52,239 --> 00:14:54,355Throw herself off Lambeth Brldge.25300:14:54,439 --> 00:14:56,430Well, that makes a change.25400:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,159Let's see, what's the score now?Westmlnster twlce.25500:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,630Blackfrlars, London Brldge, Tower Brldge,and that's only In the last few months.25600:15:02,719 --> 00:15:05,438How was I supposed to know?She was In a terrlble state.25700:15:05,519 --> 00:15:07,191-Sald you'd left her.-And you dld.25800:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,794You walked out wlthout saylng goodbyeand you slammed the door.25900:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,030-Cover yourself up, wlll you?-That's typleal, that Is.26000:15:12,119 --> 00:15:13,916Most of the tlmeyou want me to uncover myself.26100:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,319That's dlfferent. That's when I'm wlth you.26200:15:15,399 --> 00:15:17,310Well, you're wlth me now,so what's dlfferent?26300:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,277Admlt It, you only want me for my body.26400:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,316-0h, Llnda, don't be so rldlculous.-l'm not belng.26500:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,994You thlnk you ean treat me how you llke,as If I've got no feellngs.26600:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,072-Now, you know that's not true.-0h, ealllng me a llar, are you, now?26700:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,515Not content wlth only wantlng mefor my body, I'm a llar as well!26800:15:29,599 --> 00:15:31,590-l dldn't say that!-Excuse me...26900:15:31,679 --> 00:15:34,352I knew It. ljust knew It.You don't love me any more.27000:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,716-Of course I do.-You wouldn't say such thlngs If you dld.27100:15:37,799 --> 00:15:38,914Look, I don't want to Interrupt anythlng...27200:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,673If I dldn't love you, how the hellcould I have put up wlth you for so long?27300:15:41,759 --> 00:15:43,477-I don't want to Interrupt...-Just mlnd your own buslness.27400:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,518Keep your nose out of thls, mate.I've got to go to work sometlmes, you know,27500:15:46,599 --> 00:15:49,511wlthout you thlnklng I'm leavlng youand threatenlng to commlt sulclde.27600:15:49,599 --> 00:15:52,716You drlve me to It. You're so cruel to me.27700:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,631-Thank you.-0h, don't be so stupld.27800:15:54,719 --> 00:15:56,277You're slck, that's your trouble.27900:15:56,359 --> 00:15:58,395LINDA: Oh, yes, that's always your attltude.28000:15:58,479 --> 00:16:01,471You never thlnk.And you stlll haven't remembered.28100:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,869RONALD: Remembered what,for heaven's sake?28200:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,313LINDA: It's my blrthdayI28300:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,719RONALD: So what's Importantabout a blrthday?28400:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,791LINDA: It's very Important to have...RONALD: You have one every year.28500:16:22,159 --> 00:16:25,469It's golng to be one of those days.ljust know It.28600:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,877PETER: I'd llke to take her outand push her under a bus.28700:16:30,360 --> 00:16:34,069Don't you talk about your llttle slsterllke that. I won't have It!28800:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,627Slster? She's not even human.28900:16:36,719 --> 00:16:40,109Look at that lot!A whole bleedlng ton of soap powder rulned.29000:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,952Do you know how much moneyshe's lost me?29100:16:42,040 --> 00:16:45,396And when I'd done a deal on It.Knocked myself out to set It up.29200:16:45,479 --> 00:16:47,470Well, no one asked you to brlng It In here,dld they?29300:16:47,559 --> 00:16:48,958Clutterlng up my kltchen.29400:16:49,039 --> 00:16:51,599Well, I want It out. Just get rld of It.29500:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,398-Do you hear me?-Oh, yeah?29600:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,879Now what am I supposed to say?29700:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,315lee, 'Llsten, mate, about that soap powder,29800:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,631'l dld have It, see, but It sort of vanlshed.Sorry about that.‘29900:17:00,719 --> 00:17:04,029Or how about, 'Ny llttle slsterdeclded to decorate the house wlth lt.'30000:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,714Oh, they're golng to love that,after they've plcked themselves up30100:17:06,799 --> 00:17:08,471off the bloody floor laughlng, of course.30200:17:08,559 --> 00:17:11,710Joe, Just tell hlm, wlll you?Just tell hlm to get rld of It.30300:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,791No. No. I've had as much as I ean take30400:17:13,879 --> 00:17:17,155I wash my hands off the whole bleedlnglot of you. That's It, as far as I'm concerned.30500:17:18,759 --> 00:17:22,672Why don't you get rld of the stuff you'vealready got before you brlng more In?30600:17:22,759 --> 00:17:25,910It's gettlng so that I ean't even move aroundme own house.30700:17:25,999 --> 00:17:27,637What's all that gear dolng In my bedroom?30800:17:27,719 --> 00:17:29,675PETER: I'll wrlng her bloody llttle neck,so help me, I wlll.30900:17:29,759 --> 00:17:30,874JOE: PeterI31000:17:30,959 --> 00:17:32,836PETER: thtle monster ought to have beenput down at blrth.31100:17:32,919 --> 00:17:33,988What?31200:17:34,079 --> 00:17:35,194-PeterI-What?31300:17:35,279 --> 00:17:37,952I want to know what all that...31400:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,474Oh, never mlnd. Forget It.31500:17:40,559 --> 00:17:43,312And where do you thlnkyou're golng, Sunny Jlm?31600:17:43,399 --> 00:17:46,197I've got a nlce llttle Job for you first.31700:17:47,439 --> 00:17:50,476-Dump It.-Oh, Na, where?31800:17:50,559 --> 00:17:53,119That Is your problem, not mlne.31900:17:53,519 --> 00:17:56,511And mlnd you brlng that bucket back.32000:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,191-Where do you thlnk you're golng wlth that?-I told you, I'm leavlng.32100:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,556Oh, I see. Just walklng outand leavlng me to cope.32200:18:10,639 --> 00:18:13,312A fine son you turned out to be.32300:18:13,399 --> 00:18:16,436Just llke your father, whoever he was.32400:18:16,519 --> 00:18:19,079What am I supposed to tell Carolwhen she comes?32500:18:19,159 --> 00:18:21,036Well, you ean tell her to...32600:18:21,120 --> 00:18:23,111-Hello, love.-Hello, love.32700:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,193Carol, my steady. Blt of a drag.Got weddlng bells In her ears.32800:18:27,279 --> 00:18:30,555-What you dolng wlth that, then?-He's clearlng off.32900:18:30,639 --> 00:18:34,029Walklng out on hls responslbllltles,that's what he's dolng.33000:18:34,120 --> 00:18:37,715Oh, no! No, I'm sure Joe wouldn't doa thlng llke that wlthout telllng rne,33100:18:37,799 --> 00:18:39,198-would you, Joe?-Yes, I would.33200:18:39,279 --> 00:18:42,669I've had enough. I'm clearlng out.I've had enough.33300:18:43,919 --> 00:18:46,956Oh! Well, I expect I'll see you later, then?33400:18:47,039 --> 00:18:49,155Joel Joel33500:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,959Joe NorthI You come here. Come here.33600:18:52,039 --> 00:18:54,553Do I comprehend the sltuatlon correctly?33700:18:54,639 --> 00:18:56,789-Are you leavlng home?-Dead rlght.33800:18:56,879 --> 00:18:59,837Wlthout a word to meor even a by-your-leave?33900:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,433It's got nothlng to do wlth you.34000:19:01,519 --> 00:19:03,271What do you meanIt's got nothlng to do wlth rne?34100:19:03,360 --> 00:19:07,433I happen to be your fiancee andflancees have a rlght to know these thlngs.34200:19:07,519 --> 00:19:09,953-So where are you golng?-I don't know.34300:19:10,039 --> 00:19:13,111-What do you mean, you don't know?-I Just told you, I don't know.34400:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,191You ean't Just leave homeand not know where you're golng.34500:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,238As soon as I find somewhere,I'll get In touch, all rlght?34600:19:18,319 --> 00:19:20,355When's that, then?34700:19:20,439 --> 00:19:23,192How should I know?Tonlght, tomorrow, as soon as I'm settled In.34800:19:23,279 --> 00:19:25,235Does that meanyou're not golng to take me out tonlght?34900:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,390How ean I? I don't know where I'll be.35000:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,755-Gone wlth the wlnd.-What?35100:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,912That's what you were supposedto take me to, Gone wlth the Wlnd.35200:19:32,999 --> 00:19:35,149Oh, come on now.You must have seen It 10 tlmes.35300:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,275Eleven.35400:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,555Wlth that and Lady and the Trampevery year at Chrlstmas,35500:19:38,639 --> 00:19:40,118It's enough to drlve anyone up the wall.35600:19:40,199 --> 00:19:42,793You don't have to come.I mean, nobody's forclng you to.35700:19:42,879 --> 00:19:44,995I mean, you don't have to eareIf I'm on my own,35800:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,275probably belng molested In the back row.35900:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,395Oh, come on. Who's golng to molest you?36000:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,109Lots of people, If I let them.Anyway, you always do.36100:19:53,199 --> 00:19:56,236I've got to find somethlng to do, haven't I?Gone wlth the Wlnd Is a long fllm.36200:19:56,319 --> 00:19:58,549Well, If you won't take me to the plctures,36300:19:58,639 --> 00:20:00,755why ean't I come wlth youand help you find somewhere to stay?36400:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,559Carol, I'll be all rlght.36500:20:03,639 --> 00:20:06,233Supposlng you're movlng Inwlth another woman?36600:20:06,319 --> 00:20:08,071Oh, leave off, Carol.36700:20:08,159 --> 00:20:09,672Well, how am I supposed to know?36800:20:09,759 --> 00:20:11,750Look, I'll rlng you, all rlght?36900:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,479You see, If you would have told meyou were leavlng home,37000:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,632I could have done the sameand then we could have moved In together37100:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,280and got marrled before I orlglnally planned.37200:20:20,360 --> 00:20:22,078Yeah. Well, I'll rlng you.37300:20:22,159 --> 00:20:23,990You see, If you wouldn't mlndhanglng about for a blt,37400:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,071I could bolt homeand start packlng stralght away.37500:20:26,159 --> 00:20:27,274No. Look...37600:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,999Twenty mlnutes, 15 at the outsldeIf you took me by eab.37700:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,992Carol, I haven't got tlme for all thls.37800:20:36,879 --> 00:20:39,837What Is the matter?Do you not want to llve wlth me any more?37900:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,036Course I do. It's nothlng to do wlth that.38000:20:42,120 --> 00:20:44,554You wouldn't thlnk so,the way you go on about It.38100:20:44,639 --> 00:20:46,789You'll have to get used to Itonce we're marrled.38200:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,107Look, what's up wlth you?38300:20:48,199 --> 00:20:51,350-Don't you trust me or somethlng?-Qulte frankly, no.38400:20:51,439 --> 00:20:52,474Charmlng.38500:20:52,559 --> 00:20:55,198It's Just that I don't llketo thlnk of you belng unfalthful.38600:20:55,279 --> 00:20:59,352Especlally, as I spent all my savlngslast week buylng my engagement rlng.38700:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,874-Have I ever been unfalthful to you?-No.38800:21:01,959 --> 00:21:03,950Have you ever eaught rnewlth another woman?38900:21:05,159 --> 00:21:07,468Have you ever eaught me,when I've been out wlth you,39000:21:07,559 --> 00:21:09,914even looklng at another woman?39100:21:09,999 --> 00:21:11,751-No.-There you are then.39200:21:11,839 --> 00:21:13,989You've got nothlng to worry about,have you?39300:21:14,879 --> 00:21:17,109That Is besldes the polnt.39400:21:17,200 --> 00:21:21,955Remember, a penny savedIs a penny not spent.39500:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,758What are you golng on about?39600:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,116Do not put all your balls In one basket.39700:21:27,199 --> 00:21:29,235That Is what I am trylng to say.39800:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,871You see, lfl eaught you recllnlngIn the embrace of another woman,39900:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,870do you know what I would do?40000:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,712I would chop It offI40100:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,229Look, you ean trust me.40200:21:40,319 --> 00:21:43,629As soon as I find somewhereI'll rlng you, all rlght?40300:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,676But I thought I was comlng wlth you.40400:21:45,759 --> 00:21:48,353-What?-Well, that's what we agreed.40500:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,351-Yeah. Well, look, you go home...-Yeah.40600:21:50,439 --> 00:21:51,872-And pack your thlngs.-Yeah.40700:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,758-And then as soon as I find somewhere...-Yeah.40800:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,434-l'l| see you later.-nght.40900:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,197I hadn't flnlshed yet.41000:22:27,040 --> 00:22:30,032Tom? Tom? You about?41100:22:30,120 --> 00:22:31,917Wlth you In a mlnute.41200:22:34,399 --> 00:22:37,152-Joe, how are thlngs?-Oh, not so bad.41300:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,559Nlnd lfl earry on?41400:22:38,639 --> 00:22:41,790-Busy, I see.-Oh, not bad.41500:22:41,879 --> 00:22:43,756Stlll got your plcture gallery, then.41600:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,434You dlrty old bastard.41700:22:46,519 --> 00:22:49,397Make good dart boards.You should see how my alm's Improved.41800:22:49,479 --> 00:22:51,993Here, pass that grease gun, wlll you?41900:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,389Ta.42000:22:55,679 --> 00:22:59,433-Hovr's the eab buslness, then?-Oh, mustn't grumble.42100:23:02,759 --> 00:23:06,672Thlng Is, I dld wantto ask you a favour, mate.42200:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,678-Oh, yeah?-Yeah.42300:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,992You know that flat you've got upstalrs?42400:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,957Yeah? What about It?42500:23:15,039 --> 00:23:17,633-Well, It's got two bedrooms, rlght?-Just about. Yeah.42600:23:17,720 --> 00:23:22,236Yeah. Well, I've got thls problem, see.lee, I've got to find somewhere to llve and,42700:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,995well, seelng as how we're mates...I mean, I'd help towards the rent and that.42800:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,038Llsten, Joe, anytlme, you know that.42900:23:29,120 --> 00:23:30,792Unfortunately, It's not that slmple.43000:23:30,879 --> 00:23:32,835If you'd asked me a couple of weeks ago,no problem.43100:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,309But the trouble ls I've got a ladyllvlng wlth me at the moment.43200:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,834Don't tell me you need two beds.You must be sllpplng.43300:23:37,919 --> 00:23:40,194No, no, no, It's not that.43400:23:40,759 --> 00:23:43,034Look, Joe, I'll be stralght wlth you.You know women.43500:23:43,120 --> 00:23:46,476You never know how they'll react.I mean, well, lekl's a nlce lady, but...43600:23:46,559 --> 00:23:49,232-Well, she does work odd hours.-Yeah?43700:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,038Has Its advantages, I suppose.43800:23:51,120 --> 00:23:55,989I wouldn't ask If I wasn't really desperate.Just tlll I get somethlng else fixed up.43900:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,231All rlght, all rlght, Just for a couple of weekstlll you find somewhere.44000:23:59,320 --> 00:24:00,673Yeah.44100:24:00,759 --> 00:24:02,750ls thls a prlvate party or ean anyone Joln In?44200:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,037Hello. Talk of the devll.44300:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,873I'll say thls for Tom,he certalnly knows how to plck them.44400:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,157Obvlously a blt of class. Probablyan alr hostess or somethlng llke that.44500:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,913Thls ls lekl. She's a strlpper.44600:24:14,999 --> 00:24:17,115You ean't always be rlght, ean you?44700:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,750Joe's comlng to stay wlth us for a whlle.44800:24:19,839 --> 00:24:23,354-Oh, nlce. When?-How about now?44900:24:23,439 --> 00:24:25,828You weren't klddlng, were you?45000:24:25,919 --> 00:24:28,274I don't belleve In hanglng aboutonce rne mlnd's made up.45100:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,716You plannlng on staylng long, then?45200:24:31,799 --> 00:24:35,997Just tlll I get myself sorted out,find a nlce llttle place to llve.45300:24:36,079 --> 00:24:39,071Oh, If you hear of anywhere that's golng,not too expenslve.45400:24:39,159 --> 00:24:40,638Yeah. Sure.45500:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,358She fancles rne. lean tell.45600:24:42,439 --> 00:24:45,078I could pull thls one. Dead easy. No problem.45700:24:45,839 --> 00:24:49,354I expect you're llke me, work odd hours.45800:24:49,439 --> 00:24:51,509Yeah, I do a blt.45900:24:51,599 --> 00:24:55,558I suppose that meanswe won't see a lot of each other, then.46000:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,234Do you fancy a qulck one before I go?46100:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,919Oh. No, thanks.Better get out and earn some money.46200:25:03,999 --> 00:25:08,197-lee me to drop you off?-Yeah, great. Save me gettlng a eab.46300:25:09,320 --> 00:25:13,074I could deflnltely make It wlth her,but I thlnk I'd better put In a blt of hard graft,46400:25:13,160 --> 00:25:14,309earn meself some money.46500:25:14,399 --> 00:25:16,867Yes, that's what I'm golng toconcentrate on for a blt, money.46600:25:34,719 --> 00:25:36,516(MUSIC COVERS SPEECH)46700:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,840-N|kk|l lekll-What?46800:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,036Sand back, for God's sake. Stand back.46900:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,349Why? What's happened?47000:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,237It's a... In there.47100:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,070-No, don't go any closer.-No.47200:26:59,159 --> 00:27:01,275Don't be sllly.47300:27:01,359 --> 00:27:05,034-But It's a...-lt's Monty.47400:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,395Oh, don't touch It. They blte, you know.They're polsonousI47500:27:09,400 --> 00:27:14,076Monty Is a python and they don't blte.47600:27:14,559 --> 00:27:17,631Anyway, he wouldn't hurt anyone,would you, Monty?47700:27:17,719 --> 00:27:20,108Are you trylng to tell me...47800:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,478-Is that thlng yours?-Well, of course It Is.47900:27:24,559 --> 00:27:30,236(WHISPERING) And don't shout.You'll upset hlm. He's very hlghly strung.48000:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,118Well, what's he dolng In my bath?48100:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,998Where else could I put hlm?48200:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,913Anyway, he llkes It In the bath.48300:27:38,999 --> 00:27:41,194Keep that horrlble thlng away from me.48400:27:41,279 --> 00:27:43,156I'm telllng you, you'll have to get rld of It.48500:27:43,239 --> 00:27:46,276It's not staylng here.You'll have to get rld of It.48600:27:46,359 --> 00:27:49,317Get rld of It? I ean't.48700:27:49,399 --> 00:27:51,959And even If I wanted to, whlch I don't,48800:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,713-he's part of my act.-Change your act.48900:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,234Change my act?49000:27:57,319 --> 00:28:01,790Monty Is a huge successand you don't replace that In a hurry.49100:28:01,879 --> 00:28:05,076-Do you, darllng?-Oh, wlll you stop dolng that?49200:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,550lees me the horrors, those beady llttle eyesstarlng at me all the tlme.49300:28:08,639 --> 00:28:11,551I don't know why you're maklng such a fuss.49400:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,358lee rne hls basket.49500:28:19,239 --> 00:28:21,628I don't know how you'd feelIf you found a snake In your bath.49600:28:21,719 --> 00:28:23,755I mean, I almost had a heart attack.49700:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,876Are you sure that thlng'sgolng to be safe In there?49800:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,554Yes, of course he ls.49900:28:28,639 --> 00:28:31,517Monty Is very well behaved.50000:28:32,999 --> 00:28:35,911In you go. There we are.50100:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,875-H|, Gerry, BIII.-Wotcha, Joe?50200:29:08,959 --> 00:29:11,314-Plck any wlnners, dld you?-No.50300:29:11,399 --> 00:29:12,752Oh, It's a mug's game, that.50400:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,910You want to glve It up, mate,save your money.50500:29:14,999 --> 00:29:17,797-Hello, sexy.-My money?50600:29:17,879 --> 00:29:19,710Mlght as well spend It on thatas anythlng else.50700:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,995Better than throwlng It awayon ruddy women all the tlme, llke you.50800:29:22,079 --> 00:29:25,389What are you talklng about?I make them pay. That's the secret, mate.50900:29:25,479 --> 00:29:27,151Sex manlac, that's what you are.51000:29:27,239 --> 00:29:29,230You're Just too old, mate, that's your trouble.51100:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,117Can't get It up any more.51200:29:31,200 --> 00:29:32,997From what I've heard,you ean't get yours down, mate.51300:29:33,080 --> 00:29:37,039-AII part of me worldly charm, lnnlt?-Oh, that's what they sell It, Is It?51400:29:37,119 --> 00:29:40,509What's the matter wlth you, eh?You forgotten what It's llke?51500:29:40,599 --> 00:29:42,430He thlnks he Invented sex.51600:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,750-Hello, Joe.-Hello, Dora.51700:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,148-Haven't seen you for a whlle.-Been busy, aln't I?51800:29:52,239 --> 00:29:53,911DORA: Two dog rolls, two teas.51900:29:53,999 --> 00:29:57,116The way he earrles on, I'm surprlsedIt aln't dropped off by now.52000:29:57,200 --> 00:29:58,872Go on. You're Just Jealous.52100:29:58,960 --> 00:30:02,111lee hell. You get to my age,you've done It all, aln't you?52200:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,909-I get to your age, I'll need to have done.-Ah, get lost, mate.52300:30:05,999 --> 00:30:09,389You reckon that's all there Is to thls Job,don't you? Pulllng blrds.52400:30:09,479 --> 00:30:11,629What do you reckon It's all about, then?52500:30:11,719 --> 00:30:13,516You're all the bloody same.52600:30:13,599 --> 00:30:16,318Out on the road for a couple of years,thlnk you know It all.52700:30:16,399 --> 00:30:18,276-You'll find out.-Yeah?52800:30:18,359 --> 00:30:19,997How's that dreadful brother of yours?52900:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,071What? Peter? Dreadful.53000:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,189-What do you fancy, then?-What do you thlnk?53100:30:26,279 --> 00:30:28,588-lee us a dog roll, wlll you?-One dog roll.53200:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,638He's golng to get done one of these days,the way he earrles on.53300:30:31,719 --> 00:30:33,949More than llkely.Stlll, I shan't be there to see It.53400:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,032Moved out. Couldn't stand It any longer.Got me own place now.53500:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,078-Moved In wlth Carol, have you?-Not bloody llkely.53600:30:40,159 --> 00:30:42,627Yeah? When are you golng tolnvlte rne round, then?53700:30:42,719 --> 00:30:46,109-Any tlme you llke, darllng.-Well, I'm free tonlght.53800:30:46,199 --> 00:30:48,429Funny you should say that. So am I.53900:30:48,519 --> 00:30:50,589-Plck you up about 1:00? nght?-nght.54000:30:52,399 --> 00:30:54,037(MEN CHEERING)54100:31:05,919 --> 00:31:09,707Joe, If I let you, you know...54200:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,916You wouldn't thlnk rne cheap, would you?54300:31:11,999 --> 00:31:14,274Cheap? No, course not.54400:31:14,999 --> 00:31:17,035Drlnklng double glns all evenlng.54500:31:18,279 --> 00:31:22,557Course not. It's belng emotlonally honest.What could be wrong wlth that?54600:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,438Besldes, wlth a fabulous flgurellke you've got,54700:31:25,519 --> 00:31:28,829It'd be crlmlnal to hlde It away,now, wouldn't It?54800:31:31,479 --> 00:31:35,870I'll tell you somethlng, you've gotthe most beautlful breasts I've ever seen.54900:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,678Have I?55000:31:37,759 --> 00:31:40,910-l have dreams about them.-You don't. Really?55100:31:50,359 --> 00:31:54,068I'll tell you somethlng else, too,they're even better wlth nothlng on.55200:32:20,519 --> 00:32:22,271Oh, Joe...55300:32:28,879 --> 00:32:30,437(momma)55400:32:37,119 --> 00:32:38,438Oh, Joe...55500:32:39,119 --> 00:32:41,394Oh, darllng. you're fantastlc.55600:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,712But I haven't even got me trousers off yet.55700:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,599Oh... Joe...55800:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,717What a scene that was last nlght.55900:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,075Makes you wonderwhether It's all worthwhlle, doesn't It?56000:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,391Just got to dellver thls parcel.Should be falrly stralghtforward.56100:33:23,479 --> 00:33:26,516I don't thlnk I could takeany more excltement, not for a whlle.56200:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,469Mrs Devere Barker? Parcel for you.56300:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,833Mmm. Brlng It In, would you?56400:33:50,680 --> 00:33:54,195Oh, If you'd Just llke to pop It downover there.56500:33:54,279 --> 00:33:56,588I daren't touch It, you see. It's my nalls.56600:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,069-lt's your what, love?-Nal|s.56700:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,277Tropleal Green, number three.56800:34:02,359 --> 00:34:03,633Very exotlc.56900:34:03,719 --> 00:34:05,550The second they're dryI'll be able to pay you,57000:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,154only I Just daren't touch anythlngwhlle they're llke thls.57100:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,673No, It's all rlght, you Just stand thereand dry off.57200:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,478-l'm In no hurry.-Oh.57300:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,676You wouldn't llke a drlnkwhlle you're waltlng, would you?57400:34:14,759 --> 00:34:17,148No, thanks, I'm drlvlng.But thanks all the same.57500:34:17,240 --> 00:34:19,754Not even a cold beer, somethlng llke that?57600:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,992-Well, I wouldn't mlnd a beer actually.-Oh, do help yourself.57700:34:28,799 --> 00:34:30,710Actually, darllng. you couldn't do me57800:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,872a large Camparl and soda, could you,whlle you're there?57900:34:33,959 --> 00:34:36,234Yeah.58000:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,390-A large one?-Yes, please.58100:34:41,599 --> 00:34:43,430-Say when.-I never do.58200:34:49,159 --> 00:34:53,516Oh, be an angel, would you,and Just sllp It between my llps?58300:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,830Oh, the glass. Yes, of course.58400:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,998-Sorry to put you to all thls lnconvenlence.-Don't mentlon It.58500:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,390It's Just I always seem to get eaught outwhen someone arrlves.58600:35:06,479 --> 00:35:10,995Yesterday, It was the televlslon repalrman,the day before It was the plumber58700:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,356and as for the wlndow cleaner,well, every tlme he comes now,58800:35:14,439 --> 00:35:17,670-I seem to be In the bath.-| see.58900:35:17,759 --> 00:35:22,196Oh, you wouldn't be an angel, would you,and undo It for me?59000:35:23,919 --> 00:35:27,753It's for a dlnner tonlght.My husband's In cement.59100:35:27,839 --> 00:35:29,750Oh? Must be uncomfortable for hlm.59200:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,719It's a presentatlon dlnner, you see,so I thought I'd wear green59300:35:33,799 --> 00:35:35,869to go wlth my nall varnlsh.59400:35:35,959 --> 00:35:37,278-Very nlce.-Mmm.59500:35:38,479 --> 00:35:42,028Seems to be all rlght now.You're not In a rush, are you?59600:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,954It's Just I'd llke to try It onto make sure It fits.59700:35:46,039 --> 00:35:48,997-No, no, of course not.-Oh. Good.59800:35:55,919 --> 00:35:59,070Some gaff thls, lnnlt? Must cost a packet.59900:35:59,159 --> 00:36:01,468I bet she does and all.60000:36:02,080 --> 00:36:05,959Make yourself at home, won't you?I shan't be long.60100:36:06,039 --> 00:36:09,918What about her, then? Blt of all rlght.60200:36:09,999 --> 00:36:14,151'Shan't be long. My husband's In cement.‘Bloody hell.60300:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,756Have you lost somethlng?60400:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,071Balls. They fell off.60500:36:32,159 --> 00:36:35,435Oh. Never mlnd.60600:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,590You couldn't glve me a hand wlth the zlp,could you?60700:36:37,679 --> 00:36:41,149It seems to be stuckand I don't want to break a nall on It.60800:36:41,240 --> 00:36:43,196These blrds and thelr zlps.60900:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,950-Jesus.-lt's a blt stlff.61000:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,918It won't be the only thlngIf she earrles on llke thls.61100:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,154Yeah, I see what you mean,It Is stuck, Isn't It?61200:36:54,240 --> 00:36:55,798Maybe If you pull It?61300:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,110That had crossed my mlnd.61400:36:58,199 --> 00:37:00,759-Have you done It?-Yeah, I thlnk so.61500:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,671Oh. Seems a blt loose.61600:37:02,759 --> 00:37:04,829Oh. Look at that. Just look at It.61700:37:04,919 --> 00:37:07,069That's Just so typlealof today's workmanshlp.61800:37:07,159 --> 00:37:10,549That's the last dress I shall buy from there.61900:37:10,640 --> 00:37:14,030-Yeah, dlsgraceful.-Now, what shall I do?62000:37:20,159 --> 00:37:23,276Well, It was the only thlng I could thlnk of,wasn't It?62100:38:16,439 --> 00:38:17,952Another satlsfled customer.62200:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,713And the dress dld flt after all.62300:38:23,039 --> 00:38:26,156I suppose I ean't really ask herfor me fare now.62400:38:46,519 --> 00:38:48,714I promlsed that leklI'd plck her up from the club.62500:38:48,799 --> 00:38:52,030Mustn't be late In easeshe sets that snake on to me.62600:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,111Thls Is the one, I thlnk.62700:39:17,760 --> 00:39:21,753How about It, then, guv?Twelve beautlful glrls, do everythlng.62800:39:21,839 --> 00:39:24,637All naked and they dance.62900:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,233-Hey, where do you thlnk you're golng?-lnslde.63000:39:27,319 --> 00:39:30,311-Not wlthout paylng, you're not.-l'm not golng In, not to see the show.63100:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,029-l'm Just plcklng up lekl, that's all.-Yeah. You and a few others.63200:39:34,119 --> 00:39:37,236No, honest. I'm a eab drlver.Look, rne eab's Just outslde.63300:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,231It could be anyone's.63400:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,794Look, If you thlnk you're golng togaln admlttance here wlthout paylng,63500:39:41,880 --> 00:39:42,915you've got another thlng comlng to you.63600:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,390I'm telllng you, I'm only here to collect lekl.I mean, do us a favour, mate.63700:39:49,679 --> 00:39:52,432I know all the taxl drlvers round here, mate.I don't know your face.63800:39:52,519 --> 00:39:54,271Well, that's senseI don't normally do thls patch.63900:39:54,360 --> 00:39:58,148I'm only here to collect lekl.I llve In the same flat as her, see?64000:39:59,439 --> 00:40:02,317You're not the onewho went to bed wlth Monty?64100:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,472Oh, God! What?64200:40:05,559 --> 00:40:08,631By accldent, was It?Or dld you need the help?64300:40:09,439 --> 00:40:11,475Go on.64400:40:26,839 --> 00:40:28,033Sorry, mate.64500:40:58,359 --> 00:41:00,429Joe, would you mlnd hanglng onJust a mlnute?64600:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,078I've Just got to nlp back and get Monty.64700:41:02,159 --> 00:41:03,751-No rush.-Okay.64800:41:38,159 --> 00:41:39,990-Okay.-wrmr64900:41:40,080 --> 00:41:43,152-You comlng or not?-If you're not qulte ready, I don't mlnd.65000:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,229-That's Helga.-Oh?65100:41:55,159 --> 00:41:59,277You ean put your eyeballs back In.I've lnvlted her for supper tonlght.65200:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,032Forelgn, Is she?65300:42:01,560 --> 00:42:05,633No. She's a nun from Scunthorpe. Come on.65400:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,398-That was lovely, lekl.-Mmm.65500:42:13,479 --> 00:42:17,950-lt was nothlng speclal.-I enjoyed It. Now what?65600:42:18,040 --> 00:42:19,473I've got some yoghurt In the frldge.65700:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,710-No, I meant what shall we do now?-You declde.65800:42:21,799 --> 00:42:26,031Why don't we play a game? Hmm?What about strlp poker?65900:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,837Oh, come on, It mlght be fun.What do you say, Torn?66000:42:32,919 --> 00:42:36,673-No. He doesn't want to play.-Oh, come on. Just for a glggle.66100:42:36,759 --> 00:42:40,069-Got any eards?-Cards? Er, no.66200:42:42,199 --> 00:42:45,350Well, how about splnnlng the bottle Instead?Hmm?66300:42:47,999 --> 00:42:49,114Okay.66400:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,429Well, I thlnk I'll read my book.66500:42:54,799 --> 00:42:56,869We could always play strlp oulja board,If you'd prefer?66600:42:56,960 --> 00:43:00,953-Oul]a board, what oulja board?-No, let's spln the bottle.66700:44:23,919 --> 00:44:25,318(DOORBELL RINGING)66800:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,159I'll get It.66900:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,276Where's Joe? I same to see hlm.67000:44:39,359 --> 00:44:41,634Oh, he's not In. He's out.67100:44:41,720 --> 00:44:43,790No. Hls taxl's here.67200:44:43,880 --> 00:44:45,996It's all rlght. He Is expectlng rne.67300:44:54,040 --> 00:44:58,158Hello. I'm Carol. Carol Hotchklss.Joe's flancee.67400:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,955I expect he's spoken of me.Whlch ls hls roorn? That one?67500:45:02,040 --> 00:45:03,837Thank you, dear.67600:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,039CarolI Llsten, lean explaln.67700:45:18,079 --> 00:45:21,515It's the thlrd house along, on the rlght.Number 42.67800:45:21,600 --> 00:45:25,115nght you are.Do you want a hand wlth those?67900:45:25,199 --> 00:45:27,110Would you? Oh, thank you.68000:45:49,959 --> 00:45:51,392You ean Just put them down here.68100:45:51,479 --> 00:45:53,470Oh, that's all rlght.I don't mlnd earrylng them In for you.68200:45:53,560 --> 00:45:55,516That's very klnd of you.68300:46:03,199 --> 00:46:05,793-l ean't find my key.-Are you sure?68400:46:05,880 --> 00:46:09,509-Perhaps It's In your bag, loose?-l'll try.68500:46:16,199 --> 00:46:18,155It's not there.68600:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,554-What about pockets?-I haven't got any.68700:46:21,959 --> 00:46:23,358What am I golng to do?68800:46:23,439 --> 00:46:26,192Perhaps you could go to a nelghbour'stlll your husband gets home.68900:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,034He's away. On a buslness trlp.I ean't even get hold of hlm.69000:46:30,919 --> 00:46:32,238Don't you have a spare somewhere?69100:46:32,320 --> 00:46:33,799-Yes, of course.-Oh, well, then.69200:46:33,880 --> 00:46:35,154It's lnslde.69300:46:35,239 --> 00:46:37,673I thought you mlght have oneunder a flower pot or somethlng.69400:46:37,760 --> 00:46:42,117Harold, that's my husband,Harold's nervous about burglars gettlng In.69500:46:42,199 --> 00:46:46,954All very well, but how do I get In?I could try to cllmb In, I suppose.69600:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,600But you'll have to help me.You wlll, won't you?69700:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,715I ean't leave a lady In dlstress, ean I?69800:46:54,840 --> 00:46:56,751Let's see Ifthere's a wlndow open somewhere.69900:46:56,839 --> 00:46:59,148Oh, there won't be one of those.70000:47:46,880 --> 00:47:48,393Thank you.70100:47:50,480 --> 00:47:52,391You wlll be eareful, won't you?70200:47:52,479 --> 00:47:54,913Safe as houses, darllng.70300:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,119(CRASHING)70400:48:04,880 --> 00:48:07,269Are you all rlght?70500:48:07,359 --> 00:48:10,032What's happened? Are you all rlght?70600:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,076Say somethlng, please.70700:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,831What's happenlng up there?70800:48:20,199 --> 00:48:24,351I dldn't know what had happened to you.I ealled and ealled but you dldn't answer.70900:48:24,439 --> 00:48:26,873-Are you all rlght?-Yeah, I thlnk so.71000:48:26,959 --> 00:48:29,154Look, you go down andI'll open the front door.71100:48:29,240 --> 00:48:31,595I ean't. I'm stuck.71200:48:31,679 --> 00:48:34,034What do you mean stuck?Just go back down the way you eame.71300:48:34,119 --> 00:48:38,271I ean't. I daren't look down. I'll fall.I'm frlghtened of helghts.71400:48:38,360 --> 00:48:42,035Look, It's qulte slmple. If you ean't go down,you'd better come on up.71500:48:42,120 --> 00:48:43,633I ean't move. I'm seared.71600:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,233All rlght then, go back downthe way you eame.71700:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,958All rlght. Now, don't panlc. You're qulte safe.Just do as I say. Okay?71800:48:52,039 --> 00:48:54,678Now, put one hand on the next rung up.71900:48:54,760 --> 00:48:55,829Go on, one more.72000:48:55,919 --> 00:48:59,116Now the other one. Keep golng. You're okay.72100:48:59,199 --> 00:49:02,748I'm watchlng you. Up a blt.No, down, Just a llttle.72200:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,673Now, In towards the wall, that's It.72300:49:05,759 --> 00:49:07,875Go on, you're dolng flne. Come on.72400:49:09,400 --> 00:49:14,918It's all rlght, you're nearly there. That's It.Now, glve me your hand. Lovely.72500:49:15,000 --> 00:49:18,356-l ean't put my feet...-Oh, you're dolng wonderful.72600:49:19,279 --> 00:49:22,112There you go. You're there72700:49:22,199 --> 00:49:26,272-Through the wlndow...-Oh. Oh.72800:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,510Oh. Oh, you're all wet.72900:49:30,759 --> 00:49:31,987I should have warned you.73000:49:32,079 --> 00:49:34,354-Oh, I'm sorry. I completely forgot.-Yeah, well.73100:49:34,439 --> 00:49:35,997And of course, that's whyI left the wlndow open,73200:49:36,080 --> 00:49:39,675to let the smell of palnt out.Oh, and look at your clothes.73300:49:39,760 --> 00:49:41,432They're covered In It.73400:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,909Oh, you have to let me wash them for you,you ean't go out llke that.73500:49:43,999 --> 00:49:45,910Oh, well, that's very nlce of you to offer.73600:49:45,999 --> 00:49:47,910I thlnk the least lean doIs clean your clothes73700:49:47,999 --> 00:49:50,274and glve you a bath, don't you?73800:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,233I do llke huge bubbly ones, don't you?73900:49:58,319 --> 00:50:01,914-Yeah.-That's about rlght, now.74000:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,918-Oh, I ean't walt to get In.-Nelther ean I.74100:50:07,479 --> 00:50:11,631Bubbles make me go all tlngly all over.You as well?74200:50:16,879 --> 00:50:20,235Ooh, feels all lovely. All tlngly.74300:50:20,320 --> 00:50:21,719What a way to go.74400:50:34,239 --> 00:50:35,592Marlon?74500:50:44,600 --> 00:50:45,999(MARION GIGGLING)74600:50:55,159 --> 00:50:56,751MarlonI74700:51:02,360 --> 00:51:06,956Marlon, where are you?Marlon, you In the bath?74800:51:07,880 --> 00:51:09,871AM There you are.Dldn't you hear me shoutlng?74900:51:09,959 --> 00:51:13,634Oh, darllng. what a lovely surprlse.I wasn't expectlng you.75000:51:13,720 --> 00:51:16,154What a complete shambles. The whole trlp.75100:51:16,239 --> 00:51:18,594Oh, you poor love.Why don't you go downstalrs,75200:51:18,680 --> 00:51:21,990put your feet up and pour yourself outa nlce long drlnk and I'll Joln you,75300:51:22,079 --> 00:51:24,752-you ean tell me all about It.-Well, there's nothlng to tell.75400:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,513The entlre flasco was predlctablefrom start to flnlsh75500:51:27,599 --> 00:51:28,873and you know who's responslble, don't you?75600:51:28,960 --> 00:51:31,793-Well, I told them, I warned them.-Yes, you dld.75700:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,440'You put Peters In asActlng Managlng Dlrector75800:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,080'and you've got nothlng but troubleon your hands,‘ I sald.75900:51:37,159 --> 00:51:39,798He ean't cope wlth responslblllty,76000:51:39,880 --> 00:51:44,715he's got no lnltlatlve, runs a Ford Angllaand doesn't play golf. You mark my words.76100:51:45,199 --> 00:51:47,349Well, I've been proved rlght yet agaln.76200:51:47,439 --> 00:51:50,829That's wonderful.Now, why don't you Just go downstalrs...76300:51:50,919 --> 00:51:52,318Wonderful?76400:51:52,399 --> 00:51:55,038It's frustratlng. Well, It's lnsultlng.76500:51:55,119 --> 00:51:58,714Oh, I qulte agree. Now, why don't youJust let me flnlsh my bath76600:51:58,799 --> 00:52:01,359and I'll be stralght wlth you?76700:52:01,440 --> 00:52:03,954Yes, I... I could do wlth a drlnk.76800:52:07,319 --> 00:52:08,911-What was that?-Nothlng.76900:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,116Just knocked the plug, that's all.77000:52:11,199 --> 00:52:12,598Oh.77100:52:13,199 --> 00:52:14,188(GASPS)77200:52:14,519 --> 00:52:16,714Oh, darllng. ean I get you anythlng?77300:52:16,799 --> 00:52:18,118-What?-To drlnk.77400:52:18,200 --> 00:52:21,431-No, Just go downstalrs and I'll be...-Marlon, Is It really necessary77500:52:21,519 --> 00:52:23,828to use all that much bubble bath?77600:52:24,320 --> 00:52:26,595You only bought thls last weekand you've already flnlshed It.77700:52:26,679 --> 00:52:31,355You really must be more eareful In future.I ean't afford extravagance of thls sort.77800:52:31,440 --> 00:52:34,159I mean, how you expect meto ralse your housekeeplng allowance77900:52:34,239 --> 00:52:38,118In the face of such flagrant wastage,I really don't know.78000:52:38,199 --> 00:52:42,556Really must pull yourself together, you know.You're gettlng very eareless lately.78100:52:42,639 --> 00:52:45,392Won't do, you know. No, won't do.78200:52:46,319 --> 00:52:48,116It's all rlght.78300:52:49,560 --> 00:52:53,553Marlon, I meant to ask you, what on earthhave you been dolng In the bedroom?78400:52:53,640 --> 00:52:56,359There's palnt all over the place.It's a terrlble mess.78500:52:56,440 --> 00:52:59,352It's the decorators.It was meant to be a surprlse.78600:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,910Surprlse? I should thlnkthe only surprlse I'd get would be the blll.78700:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,991Don't suppose you've thoughtto get an estlmate flrst?78800:53:05,080 --> 00:53:08,868-Oh, Harold...-Never mlnd. Don't upset yourself.78900:53:08,959 --> 00:53:14,397I mean... No, I expect you...You meant well, yes, llke Peters.79000:53:14,479 --> 00:53:17,118He meant well, I expect.Incompetent clodhopper,79100:53:17,200 --> 00:53:18,952but the Board llsten? Would they llsten?79200:53:19,039 --> 00:53:22,076Please, Harold, the water's gettlng cold.79300:53:22,159 --> 00:53:24,548Oh. Ah. Yes. Well...79400:53:24,799 --> 00:53:28,553Yes, well, you have your bathand don't you worry about a thlng.79500:53:28,640 --> 00:53:33,589No, It was a lovely surprlse to flnd palntall over the bedroom.79600:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,840Yes, I thlnk I do need a drlnk.79700:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,639It's all rlght now. It's all rlght now.79800:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,272Qulck.79900:53:50,600 --> 00:53:54,036I brought you a drlnk, darllng.I thought you mlght llke one.80000:53:54,439 --> 00:53:57,431Oh, you mustn't stand about llke that,not wlth the wlndow open.80100:53:57,519 --> 00:53:58,634Oh, no, no.80200:53:58,720 --> 00:54:01,439Catch your death.80300:54:42,159 --> 00:54:43,751(TYRES SCREECHING)80400:55:03,039 --> 00:55:06,429-Sorry, mate, I'm not...-St Mary's Convent, Upton Road.80500:55:06,520 --> 00:55:07,953Yeah, but...80600:55:19,999 --> 00:55:23,469Of all the rotten luck. Anyone else but a nun.80700:55:23,559 --> 00:55:25,789I couldn't very well tell her to eff off, could I?80800:55:36,239 --> 00:55:39,515I wonder If I could trouble youto help me wlth my eases?80900:56:24,600 --> 00:56:25,999I thought I heard you come In.81000:56:26,079 --> 00:56:28,309It's costlng me a bloody fortuneIn Jeans, thls Job.81100:56:28,399 --> 00:56:30,674-How come?-I keep loslng them.81200:56:30,760 --> 00:56:32,876By the way, your brother phonedwhlle you were out.81300:56:32,960 --> 00:56:34,359What, Peter?81400:56:34,439 --> 00:56:37,590He sald somethlng about havlng a lotof televlslon sets, dld we need one.81500:56:37,679 --> 00:56:41,149-Bloody hell.-Why? What's the matter?81600:56:41,240 --> 00:56:43,595If he phones up agaln, tell hlm...81700:56:43,679 --> 00:56:45,954I don't know, tell hlmI've left the country, anythlng.81800:56:46,039 --> 00:56:47,392Why? You don't want to speak to hlm?81900:56:47,480 --> 00:56:50,552Not lfl ean avold It.I've got enough problems In rne own llfe82000:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,995wlthout gettlng lumbered wlth hlmand hls thlevlng.82100:56:53,079 --> 00:56:54,831I may get Into a few scrapes now and agaln82200:56:54,920 --> 00:56:58,071but that's one thlng I've always stayedwell clear of, crlme and all that.82300:57:18,999 --> 00:57:21,229You know what thls ls, buddy? It's a gun.82400:57:26,159 --> 00:57:28,832Just keep your mouth shut.Do as you're told and you won't get hurt.82500:57:28,919 --> 00:57:31,911-Yeah, but...-I sald shut up and get golng.82600:57:32,879 --> 00:57:36,667Make one wrong moveand you're dead. Understand?82700:57:37,999 --> 00:57:39,591Just stlck to the drlvlng,82800:57:39,679 --> 00:57:43,592keep your eyes on the roadand you and me wlll get along Just flne.82900:57:43,680 --> 00:57:47,468Now, drlve south and no funny buslness.83000:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,312I know thls town llke I know my own face.83100:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,516If you ask me, we should haverubbed her out there and then.83200:57:51,599 --> 00:57:53,112Don't get no troubles wlth a stlff.83300:57:53,200 --> 00:57:55,475Nobody's asklng you, so shut up!83400:57:55,599 --> 00:57:57,476Supposlng her old man wants to talk to her.83500:57:57,559 --> 00:58:00,915Aln't nobody golng to payno ransom for a stlff, dumb-head.83600:58:01,000 --> 00:58:04,470We got to keep her allve to get the dough.Do you get It?83700:58:04,559 --> 00:58:08,518Yeah. Yeah, but she's already seen us,so why bother wlth all thls stuff?83800:58:08,600 --> 00:58:12,115So when we sell up her old man, you wanther to tell hlm where we stashed her?83900:58:12,199 --> 00:58:14,588Get It through that thlck skull of yours,dumb-head,84000:58:14,680 --> 00:58:17,877what she don't know, she ean't tell. Okay?84100:58:18,720 --> 00:58:20,039Then we rub her out?84200:58:20,159 --> 00:58:23,276-Just stlck to the road, pal, llke I told you.-Why don't we rub her out?84300:58:23,359 --> 00:58:25,589Shut that moron up, wlll you?84400:58:25,679 --> 00:58:27,635Do a rlght, nowI84500:58:30,200 --> 00:58:34,193Llsten, blrdbraln, we don't snuff herunless there's no other way.84600:58:34,280 --> 00:58:37,955-What If somethlng goes wrong?-So long as you follow orders, nothlng wlll.84700:58:38,039 --> 00:58:40,189Take the next turnlng on the left.84800:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,919And keep It real cool and steady.84900:58:43,680 --> 00:58:46,353I am golng to do somethlng.Soon as I get the chance.85000:58:46,439 --> 00:58:48,316Blt dlfflcult wlth a gunpolntlng at my head, though.85100:58:53,719 --> 00:58:56,791Okay, buddy, turn left, through those gates.85200:59:04,119 --> 00:59:05,347Keep golng.85300:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,954Further. That's It.85400:59:14,080 --> 00:59:15,991Get that broad out of the eab.85500:59:16,079 --> 00:59:17,990Here, dldn't we ought to rub hlm out, too?85600:59:18,079 --> 00:59:20,513I mean, what's to stop hlmshootlng hls mouth off?85700:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,559Okay, buddy. Out of the eab.Nlce and easy now.85800:59:25,039 --> 00:59:27,269No sudden moves or thls baby goes off.85900:59:28,120 --> 00:59:31,749All rlght, buddy. Out of the eab.Now, keep It cool.86000:59:31,839 --> 00:59:34,956Put your hands on your head.Now, turn around.86100:59:35,039 --> 00:59:38,634Come on, turn around! Now get movlng.Turn around.86200:59:51,880 --> 00:59:53,154Get up.86301:00:05,400 --> 01:00:06,879Come on, hands agalnst the wall.86401:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,079(GUN CLICKING)86501:00:14,759 --> 01:00:16,715Look. Come on, you ean relax now.86601:00:16,799 --> 01:00:19,154Look at hlm, he fell for It.86701:00:19,800 --> 01:00:22,075I don't belleve It. Look at hls face.86801:00:23,839 --> 01:00:26,990I'm sorry If we seared you.The whole thlng was a Joke.86901:00:27,080 --> 01:00:28,274Everythlng.87001:00:28,359 --> 01:00:30,589You see, we were at thls party...87101:00:30,679 --> 01:00:33,557And someone suggested thatwe wouldn't dare try It In the street.87201:00:33,640 --> 01:00:35,471And that no eabble would belleve It.87301:00:35,559 --> 01:00:37,436So they bet us 20 quld to do It.87401:00:37,519 --> 01:00:39,589-No hard feellngs?-No hard feellngs?87501:00:39,679 --> 01:00:42,477I've been loslng fareswhlle you've been dolng all thls.87601:00:42,720 --> 01:00:43,914(ALL LAUGHING)87701:00:47,159 --> 01:00:49,036Oh, don't forget to get the paper slgned.87801:00:49,119 --> 01:00:50,916Oh, yes. I almost forgot about that.87901:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,958We had to brlng backsome klnd of proof that we actually dld It.88001:00:54,040 --> 01:00:57,112Do you thlnk you'd mlndslgnlng your name to thls blt of paper?88101:00:57,199 --> 01:01:00,396And If you could add your eab number,that would be great.88201:01:08,520 --> 01:01:09,748Thanks, mate.88301:02:28,999 --> 01:02:31,274-Hello, Malsle.-Hello, Joe.88401:02:32,239 --> 01:02:35,515Well, come on, love.Don't be nervous, I won't blte It off.88501:02:39,200 --> 01:02:40,952-Where to, darllng?-Oh, the usual, love.88601:02:41,039 --> 01:02:42,677-What, round the block?-Yeah, that'll do.88701:02:42,759 --> 01:02:44,795Just keep on drlvlng.I'll glve you a yell when I'm flnlshed.88801:02:44,879 --> 01:02:47,234-nght.-Here, you heard about Glenda, dldn't you?88901:02:47,320 --> 01:02:48,309(MAN CLEARING THROAT)89001:02:48,400 --> 01:02:50,630Oh, sorry, love. Be wlth you In a mlnute.89101:02:50,719 --> 01:02:54,507-Glenda?-Yeah. She marrled an Arab she plcked up.89201:02:54,600 --> 01:02:57,797-I thought I hadn't seen her around.-Yeah. An Arab.89301:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,030-Wlth oll wells and everythlng.-No.89401:03:00,120 --> 01:03:03,430Mlnd you, It was only a matter of tlmebefore she hooked some old geezer.89501:03:03,519 --> 01:03:05,237JOE: I'd never have thought that about her.89601:03:05,320 --> 01:03:08,073What, gettlng marrled?Glenda? You're Joklng.89701:03:08,160 --> 01:03:10,993Every tlme she opened her moutha weddlng bell popped out.89801:03:13,159 --> 01:03:14,478So how's buslness wlth you?89901:03:14,559 --> 01:03:17,631Oh, It's quletened down a bltnow the tourlst season's over,90001:03:17,719 --> 01:03:20,187but I don't do so bad.90101:03:20,280 --> 01:03:24,990Tell you what, love, you get It out andstart practlslng and I'll Joln you In a mlnute.90201:03:25,080 --> 01:03:27,674Here, Joe, could I have thls one on credlt?90301:03:27,759 --> 01:03:29,829You know, I've Just hadthe electrlclty blll In...90401:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,239Yeah, that's okay.90501:03:31,320 --> 01:03:34,517Oh, you are lovely.I'll make It up next tlme, I promlse.90601:03:34,600 --> 01:03:37,034Don't worry about It. It's my pleasure.90701:03:37,119 --> 01:03:39,587I'll tell you what,I dldn't half get a frlght the other week.90801:03:39,679 --> 01:03:41,749I thought I'd eaught a dose, dldn't I?90901:03:41,839 --> 01:03:46,594All rlght. Don't worry.You have a very nasty cough there.91001:03:46,680 --> 01:03:49,797You should get It seen to.It mlght be serlous.91101:03:49,880 --> 01:03:51,791That's the fourth one I've hadthls week wlth a cold.91201:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,110I only hope to God I don't go down wlth It.91301:03:54,199 --> 01:03:55,348That's my trouble, you know.91401:03:55,439 --> 01:03:57,794Anythlng that's golng the rounds,I seem to plck up.91501:03:57,880 --> 01:03:59,438Yeah, I had notlced.91601:03:59,519 --> 01:04:03,273Anyway, love, ean't slt here chattlng all day.I've got to get back to work.91701:04:15,599 --> 01:04:17,396(TYRES SCREECHING)91801:04:17,720 --> 01:04:18,709Ahl91901:04:19,519 --> 01:04:21,589Oh, my God.92001:04:21,680 --> 01:04:23,079(MAN GASPING IN PAIN)92101:04:25,359 --> 01:04:26,951(SIRENS WAILING)92201:04:30,559 --> 01:04:32,834(WHISTLING)92301:04:54,160 --> 01:04:56,833Somethlng tells methls could be my lucky nlght.92401:04:56,919 --> 01:04:59,911-Number 24, you sald?-Twenty-four. Yes.92501:05:00,280 --> 01:05:02,475Oh, a rlght llttle sex bomb, thls one.92601:05:02,559 --> 01:05:04,754You ean tell from that volce, ean't you?92701:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,274All husky and sexy.92801:05:07,480 --> 01:05:10,677I reckon thls one'll need the smooth,suave James Bond type chat-up.92901:05:10,960 --> 01:05:14,111You In the movles, then?93001:05:14,840 --> 01:05:16,068Sorry?93101:05:16,159 --> 01:05:19,196No, It's Just that I thoughtI recognlsed your face from somewhere.93201:05:19,279 --> 01:05:22,430I'd swear I'd seen you on the tellyor the plctures, somewhere llke that.93301:05:22,520 --> 01:05:24,397-Posslbly.-I knew It.93401:05:24,479 --> 01:05:29,075I knew you were In show buslness.Are you famous, then?93501:05:29,159 --> 01:05:32,595Well, If I was, you'd know who I am,wouldn't you?93601:05:32,680 --> 01:05:36,389Yeah, well, I do, It's Just that your nameeseapes me for the moment. That's all.93701:05:36,479 --> 01:05:37,628Bunny McQueen.93801:05:37,720 --> 01:05:42,157Bunny McQueen. Of course.How could I ever forget that?93901:05:42,840 --> 01:05:45,434Bunny McQueen? Oh, I get It.94001:05:45,519 --> 01:05:48,158Bunny. Must work at that Playboy Club.94101:05:48,239 --> 01:05:52,471One of those blrds wlth long floppy ears,all dressed up llke rabblts.94201:05:52,759 --> 01:05:55,227Yeah, probably beenIn that Playboy magazlne.94301:05:55,320 --> 01:05:58,551You know. Playmate of the Month?94401:05:58,879 --> 01:06:02,076I bet If I looked, I'd flnd a plcture of youon Tom's garage wall.94501:06:02,159 --> 01:06:04,912-Who's Torn?-Oh, he's a guy I llve wlth.94601:06:05,000 --> 01:06:07,195-Is he nlce?-Yeah, he's all rlght.94701:06:07,279 --> 01:06:08,507Not as nlce as you, though.94801:06:08,600 --> 01:06:09,794(LAUGHS)94901:06:10,239 --> 01:06:12,150She fancles me, don't she?95001:06:12,239 --> 01:06:14,707I'm In here lfl play me eards rlght.95101:06:25,440 --> 01:06:26,998Make yourself at home.95201:06:28,079 --> 01:06:30,877(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)95301:06:33,000 --> 01:06:35,195Slt down. Relax.95401:06:35,560 --> 01:06:39,075I should slt over there If I were you.It's more comfortable.95501:06:42,440 --> 01:06:45,079I'll Just get the wlne.95601:06:47,240 --> 01:06:51,711-Here we are.-Well, here we are then.95701:06:52,359 --> 01:06:54,668-Have you been together long?-What?95801:06:54,760 --> 01:06:57,957-Thls boy you llve wlth.-Oh, Torn. No, Just a few weeks.95901:06:58,040 --> 01:06:59,951Well, we've known each otherfor a couple of years now.96001:07:00,040 --> 01:07:01,871But we've only been llvlng togethera short tlme.96101:07:01,960 --> 01:07:05,157He's not golng to get Jealous,If he comes back and flnds me here?96201:07:05,240 --> 01:07:08,676No, probably fancy you hlmself.96301:07:09,360 --> 01:07:10,839Oh, let me.96401:07:14,720 --> 01:07:18,235Must need a new fllnt.Hang on, I've got some matches somewhere.96501:07:25,160 --> 01:07:27,037Sorry about that.96601:07:39,439 --> 01:07:41,316That's a really great outflt you're wearlng.96701:07:41,400 --> 01:07:45,154on, do you llke It?I deslgn all my own clothes.96801:07:45,240 --> 01:07:47,117Yeah, well, It looks terrlflc.96901:07:47,199 --> 01:07:49,155I suppose I shouldn't reallybe wearlng It now,97001:07:49,239 --> 01:07:51,309but after I flnlsh work I Just want to get away.97101:07:51,400 --> 01:07:53,197I ean't be bothered to change.97201:07:53,279 --> 01:07:55,793Oh, no, you mustn't change.I mean, you look great as you are.97301:07:55,880 --> 01:08:00,431A real turn-on. Honest. It's a tough one, thls.97401:08:02,319 --> 01:08:04,879No, no. It's all rlght. I'll get It out In a mlnute.97501:08:04,960 --> 01:08:06,632Come on. Why don't you let me try?97601:08:06,720 --> 01:08:09,029No, you'll never do It.97701:08:12,399 --> 01:08:15,675-Have you got the glasses ready?-What? Oh, yeah.97801:08:18,800 --> 01:08:21,792Sorry, we're a blt short on glasses.97901:08:27,080 --> 01:08:29,514Well, thls Is very nlce.98001:08:31,119 --> 01:08:32,552Thank you.98101:08:32,799 --> 01:08:37,554I thlnk you're very nlce.You comfortable, are you?98201:08:37,759 --> 01:08:39,670Mmm. Thank you.98301:08:39,959 --> 01:08:43,110I thlnk you're really somethlng. Really, I do.98401:08:45,080 --> 01:08:47,833I hope you won't mlnd If I say thls, but...98501:08:48,560 --> 01:08:51,552I thlnk you've got the mostbeautlfully shaped breasts I've ever seen.98601:08:51,640 --> 01:08:55,679-Really beautlful.-Yes. Yes, they're much better now.98701:08:55,759 --> 01:08:57,750Mlnd you, they cost me a fortune.98801:08:57,839 --> 01:09:02,515So, urn, why don't we glve thema llttle alr to breathe, eh?98901:09:06,919 --> 01:09:10,195You've got lovely legs and all, really lovely.99001:09:10,279 --> 01:09:12,474I have to shave them, of course.99101:09:12,560 --> 01:09:13,959(SHE GIGGLES)99201:09:15,119 --> 01:09:16,472Bloody heIII99301:09:16,560 --> 01:09:18,391-What's the matter?-YouI99401:09:18,479 --> 01:09:20,788-You're a fellaI-But of course I am.99501:09:20,879 --> 01:09:23,109What dld you thlnk I was?99601:09:23,199 --> 01:09:25,508I wonder lfl could have hlmunder the Trades Descrlptlons Act?99701:10:07,199 --> 01:10:09,349-Chrlst almlghtyI-Get golng, mlster, fast.99801:10:09,439 --> 01:10:11,953-Where to?-Never mlnd now, Just drlve.99901:10:12,039 --> 01:10:13,267Help. Help, I've been robbed!100001:10:19,360 --> 01:10:22,238Must have gone to the same party.Stlll, tenner a tlme, I should eare.100101:10:22,319 --> 01:10:24,435-l'l| play the game.-Can't you go any faster?100201:10:24,519 --> 01:10:26,908I'm dolng my best but watch outfor the law. I don't want to get done.100301:10:27,000 --> 01:10:28,718We'll take eare of that. Just drlve. Left.100401:10:28,800 --> 01:10:29,835(HORN HONKING)100501:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,753Chrlst almlghty,you mlght glve me some warnlng.100601:10:32,839 --> 01:10:35,194MAN ON RADIO: All cars westRobbery ln Praed Street100701:10:35,279 --> 01:10:37,713Your attentlon ls calledto a black London taxl,100801:10:37,799 --> 01:10:41,269belleved to contaln suspects.1505, over.100901:10:41,360 --> 01:10:43,032What do we do, stop them all?101001:10:43,599 --> 01:10:45,112Turn rlght. Just where that van ls.101101:10:45,199 --> 01:10:46,996Wouldn't It be easler If you told mewhere we're maklng for?101201:10:47,080 --> 01:10:48,718We're golng to have an accldent at thls rate.101301:10:48,799 --> 01:10:52,917Look, I'm glvlng the orders round here,so shut up and keep drlvlng.101401:10:53,000 --> 01:10:55,798I suppose they've got to come on heavy,otherwlse It wouldn't count.101501:10:55,880 --> 01:10:58,155I wonder when they get roundto the blt about dolng me In?101601:10:58,239 --> 01:11:01,197Not as good as the last lot.Much more reallstlc, they were.101701:11:01,279 --> 01:11:02,394(SIRENS WAILING)101801:11:02,479 --> 01:11:04,276Are we belng followed?101901:11:07,039 --> 01:11:09,030-Don't thlnk so.-That's all rlght.102001:11:09,119 --> 01:11:11,474Golng In the opposlte dlrectlon.102101:11:11,560 --> 01:11:13,312It's all clear.He could drop us off at the end here.102201:11:13,399 --> 01:11:16,357Are you klddlng'? He's comlng wlth us.We may need a hostage.102301:11:16,439 --> 01:11:18,907Look, mate, why don't I Just drop you herellke your mate suggested?102401:11:19,000 --> 01:11:20,911lean slgn your paperand you ean be on your way.102501:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,433Paper?102601:11:22,520 --> 01:11:24,351ljust thlnk It'd save us alla lot of tlme, that's all.102701:11:24,440 --> 01:11:26,670-What paper? What are you talklng about?-You know, for your mates.102801:11:26,760 --> 01:11:29,194'I hereby declare I've donethe dreadful deed' and all that rubblsh.102901:11:29,279 --> 01:11:30,837I won't tell them I cottoned on.103001:11:30,919 --> 01:11:33,638Llsten. Just shut up and keep drlvlng.103101:11:33,720 --> 01:11:35,836Come on, don't let's get earrled away.103201:11:35,960 --> 01:11:38,394A Joke's a Joke,but I keep loslng buslness dolng thls lark.103301:11:38,480 --> 01:11:40,630That won't be the only thlngyou'll lose, you don't belt up.103401:11:40,719 --> 01:11:42,516Look, falr's falr, but you go too far.103501:11:42,600 --> 01:11:45,114I'm not golng to slgn your paper,I'm warnlng you, so watch your step.103601:11:45,199 --> 01:11:47,508-Now, see here...-Left. Sharp leftI103701:11:49,560 --> 01:11:52,074JOE: Hang about. What's all thls then?103801:11:52,159 --> 01:11:54,957Go rlght down the end to the garage,drlve rlght In.103901:11:55,040 --> 01:11:58,589-Oh, I get It, I get It.-You wlll If you don't belt up.104001:11:58,680 --> 01:12:00,432It's bleedlng Torn, lnnlt?104101:12:00,520 --> 01:12:03,637I mean, I told hlm about the other kldnapand he thought...104201:12:03,720 --> 01:12:05,199Very funny!104301:12:22,799 --> 01:12:24,915-What are you dolng here?-You should know.104401:12:24,999 --> 01:12:28,309What a bloody prank.Look, It's costlng me money, thls game.104501:12:28,400 --> 01:12:30,550-You know hlm?-Course he bloody knows me.104601:12:30,639 --> 01:12:33,676-l llve here, don't I?-What happened?104701:12:33,759 --> 01:12:36,592-Where's the ear?-Parked on a double yellow llne, dldn't he?104801:12:36,680 --> 01:12:39,194We do the Job, corne rushlng outwlth the stuff,104901:12:39,279 --> 01:12:41,349there's our getaway earbelng done for parklng.105001:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,078Had to come back by a eab.105101:12:43,160 --> 01:12:45,754And of all the eabs In London,you had to plck...105201:12:45,839 --> 01:12:48,990(LAUGHING) on, no.105301:12:53,199 --> 01:12:54,791I stlll say we ean't trust hlm.105401:12:54,880 --> 01:12:57,314I'm telllng you he's a mate.He's not golng to shop us.105501:12:57,399 --> 01:12:59,355-I won't. I won't.-And I say we shouldn't chance It.105601:12:59,439 --> 01:13:00,758Look, I'm not golng to say anythlng.105701:13:00,839 --> 01:13:03,353As far as I'm concerned, It never happened.I don't know nothlng about It.105801:13:03,439 --> 01:13:05,634See? I'll guarantee hlm. Now, don't worry.105901:13:05,719 --> 01:13:08,756-Don't worry?-How much do you thlnk I'm worth?106001:13:08,839 --> 01:13:11,751Now look, lekl, we haven't got tlmefor all that, love. Take them off, please?106101:13:11,839 --> 01:13:13,591I knew I'd look good In expenslve thlngs.106201:13:13,679 --> 01:13:16,318Yeah, you look lovely. Now get them off.106301:13:16,400 --> 01:13:19,392nght, well, If you've all flnlshed wlth me,I thlnk I'd better get back to work.106401:13:19,480 --> 01:13:21,516Slt down. You aln't golng anywhere.106501:13:21,599 --> 01:13:22,952-Yeah, well, I Just thought...-Well, don't.106601:13:23,040 --> 01:13:24,837(DOORBELL RINGING)106701:13:25,640 --> 01:13:28,200-You expectlng anyone?-lt's all rlght. It's not the law.106801:13:30,359 --> 01:13:32,668And I thought taxl drlvlng was a straln.106901:13:32,760 --> 01:13:34,478nght, let's get thls stuff away somewhere.107001:13:34,560 --> 01:13:35,993It's maklng me nervouslylng around the place.107101:13:36,080 --> 01:13:37,513Yeah, where are you golng to put It?107201:13:37,599 --> 01:13:39,874I know a place where no one'll look. lekl?107301:13:40,039 --> 01:13:41,995Oh, come here, Monty.107401:13:45,720 --> 01:13:49,110-Chrlst almlghtyI-Hello, what are you dolng here?107501:13:49,199 --> 01:13:52,794-You two know each other?-Yeah, he's my brother, Isn't he?107601:13:55,679 --> 01:14:00,116-Bloody hell, what's that?-A hlppopotamus.107701:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,872What are you dolng mlxed up In all thls?107801:14:01,960 --> 01:14:03,837I'm In the blg tlme now, aren't I?107901:14:03,919 --> 01:14:06,228I don't belleve It. ljust don't belleve It.108001:14:06,319 --> 01:14:08,628PETER: I was drlvlng the getaway ear,wasn't I?108101:14:08,719 --> 01:14:10,516Oh, yeah, parked on a double yellow llne.108201:14:10,600 --> 01:14:12,079PETER: I've done It beforeand never got nlcked.108301:14:12,159 --> 01:14:13,478So tell us what happened.108401:14:13,560 --> 01:14:15,596Nothlng happened, I got a bollocklng.108501:14:15,679 --> 01:14:17,988You lot eame runnlng out of the shopwlth the stuff.108601:14:18,080 --> 01:14:20,310Well, the copper, he forgot about me,so I drove off.108701:14:20,399 --> 01:14:22,117Yeah. We should have been wlth you.108801:14:22,200 --> 01:14:24,953It looks llke you managedto plck up a eab all rlght, don't It?108901:14:25,040 --> 01:14:26,632thtle bleeder. I ought to do you.109001:14:26,719 --> 01:14:30,109I saw what happened.Dldn't know It was Joe drlvlng It, though.109101:14:30,200 --> 01:14:31,553How much dld he charge you?109201:14:31,640 --> 01:14:34,916-You thlnk you're very funny, don't you?-Come on, Harry, lay off.109301:14:34,999 --> 01:14:38,309How do we know he wasn't followed?Bloody amateur, comlng stralght back here.109401:14:38,400 --> 01:14:41,233So what else was I supposed to do?It wasn't me they were followlng.109501:14:41,319 --> 01:14:43,230Yeah, well, any more cheekand I'll lay one on you so hard109601:14:43,319 --> 01:14:44,752my flst'll come out the back of your head.109701:14:44,839 --> 01:14:45,908Take It easy, Harry, yeah?109801:14:46,000 --> 01:14:48,560The kld dldn't mean nothlng.Just let It rest, okay?109901:14:48,639 --> 01:14:51,107Trouble Is, my frlends, what do we do now?110001:14:51,199 --> 01:14:54,032I mean, for all we know,they mlght have taken Joe's number.110101:14:54,120 --> 01:14:56,395For all we know, they mlght be on the wayround here rlght now.110201:14:56,479 --> 01:14:57,958Taken my number?110301:14:58,039 --> 01:15:00,234That's great, that Is.That's really landed me In It.110401:15:00,320 --> 01:15:02,151Tom's rlght. We ought to splltbefore they get on to us.110501:15:02,239 --> 01:15:04,309Yeah, we'll meet up tomorrowllke we planned.110601:15:04,400 --> 01:15:05,628(DOORBELL RINGING)110701:15:05,720 --> 01:15:07,915Too late, they're here.110801:15:09,560 --> 01:15:12,074-Can't see anyone.-Well, It's not rlnglng on Its own.110901:15:12,159 --> 01:15:13,478Who Is It?111001:15:13,559 --> 01:15:17,108If nobody makes a sound,perhaps they'll go away.111101:15:17,199 --> 01:15:19,838Look, maybe you'd better goand see who It Is.111201:15:19,920 --> 01:15:21,831-What?-Do you want me to go?111301:15:21,919 --> 01:15:24,991You stay rlght where you are. Yeah. Go on.111401:15:27,560 --> 01:15:30,279CAROL: It's no use hldlng.I know you're In there, Joe North.111501:15:30,360 --> 01:15:32,316Bloody hell, that's all I need.111601:15:32,400 --> 01:15:34,960Answer thls dooror I'll scream the place down.111701:15:35,040 --> 01:15:38,919You let me In or I'm warnlng you,I'll get the pollce to knock the door In.111801:15:39,960 --> 01:15:43,714-Oh, Carol.-You took your tlme, dldn't you?111901:15:43,799 --> 01:15:45,869-Where Is he?-Who?112001:15:45,960 --> 01:15:47,996Oh, Joe.112101:15:48,080 --> 01:15:50,674Who dld you thlnk I meant? Mlckey Mouse?112201:15:50,919 --> 01:15:55,231-He's out. Worklng.-What? When hls taxl's here?112301:15:55,440 --> 01:15:57,510What's he drlvlng? Horse and salt?112401:15:57,599 --> 01:16:00,830Hls taxl's not here. He's out In It.112501:16:00,919 --> 01:16:04,514Really. Well, I have Just bumped Intothe tall lady from Number 3,112601:16:04,599 --> 01:16:06,829wlth the toy poodle and the blue rlnse.112701:16:06,920 --> 01:16:11,835And accordlng to her, Joe's taxldrove Into your garage 10 mlnutes ago.112801:16:11,920 --> 01:16:15,833So unless It's gone stralght throughyour back wall, It's stlll here, lnnlt?112901:16:16,839 --> 01:16:20,798Well, you see, I wouldn't know about that,'eause I was asleep.113001:16:23,040 --> 01:16:27,033He's up there, Isn't he?He's up there wlth another bloody blrdI113101:16:27,119 --> 01:16:28,234OhI113201:16:28,760 --> 01:16:32,799-Joe, get rld of her.-What am I supposed to do?113301:16:32,880 --> 01:16:36,111lfl flnd you In a compromlslng posltlonwlth your knlckers down, I'll...113401:16:36,200 --> 01:16:37,235Oh.113501:16:39,319 --> 01:16:42,834-Dldn't know you had company.-Hello, Carol.113601:16:42,919 --> 01:16:48,073I Just same to tell you that I've forglven you.For what you was dolng last tlme I saw you.113701:16:48,159 --> 01:16:50,115-Oh, thank you.-Yes.113801:16:50,520 --> 01:16:54,274I've thought It over very earefullyand I declded that what you dld113901:16:54,359 --> 01:16:58,830was a moment of weakness on your behalf,so I have forglven you.114001:16:58,920 --> 01:17:00,956-Great.-I thought you'd be pleased.114101:17:01,040 --> 01:17:03,634-Yeah. Great.-Well,114201:17:04,239 --> 01:17:06,070aren't you golng to Introduce rne114301:17:07,759 --> 01:17:08,953to your frlends?114401:17:09,039 --> 01:17:11,633Oh. Yes. Thls ls Peter.114501:17:11,720 --> 01:17:14,792Yes, I know Peter, and Tom,and that lekl as well.114601:17:14,880 --> 01:17:17,872And thls ls Jeremy.114701:17:17,960 --> 01:17:19,188Terrlbly pleased to meet you.114801:17:19,279 --> 01:17:22,112-And Rupert.-Pleased to meet you.114901:17:22,319 --> 01:17:24,787I'm Joe's flancee. Carol Hotchklss.115001:17:24,880 --> 01:17:28,270Actually, Harry, Bernard and Jlmwere Just about to leave.115101:17:28,360 --> 01:17:30,112Yeah, yeah.115201:17:30,200 --> 01:17:31,838-Yeah, we're golng.-Yeah.115301:17:31,959 --> 01:17:33,278Yeah.115401:17:33,359 --> 01:17:34,951-Yeah.-Bye, Rupert.115501:17:35,039 --> 01:17:37,473Nlce to have met you.115601:17:38,799 --> 01:17:40,118What dld you say they do for a llvlng?115701:17:40,200 --> 01:17:41,235-lnsurance.-Anthues.115801:17:41,319 --> 01:17:43,310-Banklng.-Computers.115901:17:45,439 --> 01:17:46,952What Is golng on?116001:17:47,039 --> 01:17:49,348What do you mean? Nothlng. Why?116101:17:50,200 --> 01:17:53,351Is there somethlngI'm not supposed to know about?116201:17:53,440 --> 01:17:56,477It's Just that I get the lmpresslon...116301:17:56,560 --> 01:18:00,439-I mean, what's he dolng here for a start?-Just come to see my brother, haven't I?116401:18:02,440 --> 01:18:04,158You've got someone here, haven't you?116501:18:04,239 --> 01:18:07,788Another woman,another naked tart In the bedroom.116601:18:07,880 --> 01:18:10,440Oh, for God's sake.Look, there's no one here but us, that's all.116701:18:10,520 --> 01:18:13,114-How am I supposed to know that?-Well, you've Just got a susplclous mlnd.116801:18:13,199 --> 01:18:15,952That's your trouble.You're worse than the CIA, Into everythlng.116901:18:16,040 --> 01:18:18,156If I eaught you wlth another woman,Joe North,117001:18:18,239 --> 01:18:19,911so help me, I would klll you, I would.117101:18:20,000 --> 01:18:23,675Especlally after I've forglven youfor your mlsdemeanour.117201:18:23,759 --> 01:18:26,910Llsten, darllng, you knowyou're the only glrl In the world for me.117301:18:26,999 --> 01:18:29,832It's Just that... I've learnt my lesson.117401:18:29,919 --> 01:18:32,228Come on, let's go down the puband have a drlnk, eh?117501:18:32,320 --> 01:18:35,392-Do you really mean that?-Yes, I'm thlrsty. I could do wlth one.117601:18:35,480 --> 01:18:38,199No. About me belngthe only glrl In the world.117701:18:38,279 --> 01:18:39,997Course I do. Come on.117801:18:40,080 --> 01:18:43,152Oh, well, don't push me, all rlght?I mean, the pubs aren't even open yet.117901:18:43,240 --> 01:18:45,196-So? We ean walt.-Whlch one dld you want to go to?118001:18:45,279 --> 01:18:46,917Oh, any one...118101:18:49,480 --> 01:18:51,277Thank God for that.118201:18:53,240 --> 01:18:57,870Good day, slr. Madam.Golng somewhere, were we?118301:18:57,960 --> 01:19:00,918-Who are you?-Do you mlnd If we step lnslde, slr?118401:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,912-What dld you want?-If you don't mlnd, slr?118501:19:08,719 --> 01:19:11,392-No, you see, we were Just on our way out.-I had notlced.118601:19:11,480 --> 01:19:14,472Yes, we were waltlng tlll the pubs opened.118701:19:14,560 --> 01:19:17,154Inspector Rogers, CID.118801:19:17,240 --> 01:19:20,152-And thls ls Sergeant Jeeves.-Afternoon, all.118901:19:20,240 --> 01:19:23,471I rather thought you mlght be ableto help us wlth our enqulrles.119001:19:23,560 --> 01:19:25,755Oh, what's been happenlng?119101:19:26,879 --> 01:19:28,756OII You got a search warrant?119201:19:28,839 --> 01:19:31,307Why? You hldlng somethlng?119301:19:32,399 --> 01:19:36,677You're wlth hlm. And you're wlth hlm.119401:19:36,760 --> 01:19:38,239nght?119501:19:39,599 --> 01:19:41,829So? Who are you wlth?119601:19:41,919 --> 01:19:43,193Myself.119701:19:43,279 --> 01:19:45,076Joe, what's thls all about?119801:19:45,160 --> 01:19:47,515You're a blt young to beIn thls sort of league, aren't you?119901:19:47,599 --> 01:19:49,032I dldn't know there was an age llmlt.120001:19:49,119 --> 01:19:51,508Look, what are we supposedto be helplng hls enqulrles wlth?120101:19:51,599 --> 01:19:53,078Carol, love.120201:19:53,160 --> 01:19:55,674It's to do wlth sex, Isn't It?120301:19:55,759 --> 01:19:58,557You've been havlng orgles up here,haven't you? That's what It Is, Isn't It?120401:19:58,639 --> 01:20:00,516-Orgles.-No, ma'am.120501:20:00,599 --> 01:20:02,078Well, It must be somethlng llke that.120601:20:02,159 --> 01:20:04,593I mean, If Joe's anythlng to do wlth It,It must be sexy.120701:20:04,680 --> 01:20:06,591You've got a one-track mlnd, you have.120801:20:06,680 --> 01:20:08,796All rlght, If It's not orgles, what Is It then?120901:20:08,879 --> 01:20:11,677You mlght say It's a llttle treasure hunt.121001:20:12,320 --> 01:20:14,436Joe, what have you got yourselfmlxed up wlth now?121101:20:14,520 --> 01:20:16,112-Nothlng.-I bet you have.121201:20:16,200 --> 01:20:18,714Especlally If there's a woman Involved.121301:20:18,799 --> 01:20:22,314-Llsten, there's nothlng up here.-Not accordlng to your two frlends.121401:20:22,399 --> 01:20:23,718We've got them outslde,121501:20:23,800 --> 01:20:26,109-plcked them up a few mlnutes ago.-What two frlends?121601:20:26,200 --> 01:20:29,476We know all about your llttle eaperat the Jewellers.121701:20:29,560 --> 01:20:31,710I'm sorry, I really don't knowwhat you're talklng about.121801:20:31,799 --> 01:20:35,189Why don't you Just come clean?Your frlends have.121901:20:36,680 --> 01:20:38,398Found any llttle trlnkets yet?122001:20:38,480 --> 01:20:39,515Not yet, slr.122101:20:39,599 --> 01:20:41,271You're not golng to flnd anythlng here.122201:20:41,360 --> 01:20:44,511We'll see. Llfe's full of llttle surprlses,Isn't It?122301:20:44,600 --> 01:20:45,919Jesus ChrlstI122401:20:46,000 --> 01:20:48,958I'm sorry, slr, I dldn't mean to shout,It's Just there's a bloody snake In there.122501:20:49,039 --> 01:20:50,836That Is Monty.122601:20:50,920 --> 01:20:53,878He Is my speclallty andhe's very hlghly strung.122701:20:53,960 --> 01:20:57,111Please don't upset hlm.He's got a performance tonlght.122801:20:57,199 --> 01:20:59,588-There's nothlng there, slr.-Told you.122901:20:59,679 --> 01:21:04,275Here, I've Just reallsed,you're looklng for stolen property.123001:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,396Carol, why don't you belt up?123101:21:06,480 --> 01:21:07,754But the cheek of It. I mean,123201:21:07,840 --> 01:21:10,479comlng In here and searchlng thls placellke we were all crlmlnals.123301:21:10,560 --> 01:21:12,835No, you tell hlm, Joe. Go on, tell hlm.123401:21:12,919 --> 01:21:15,035Carol, Carol wlll you shut up, Carol?123501:21:15,119 --> 01:21:16,552Go on. Go on, tell hlm.123601:21:16,639 --> 01:21:19,711Ask to see hls search warrant.Go on. Ask. Ask.123701:21:19,800 --> 01:21:21,233Go on. Go on.123801:21:21,320 --> 01:21:23,390If you don't ask,I shall never speak to you agaln,123901:21:23,520 --> 01:21:26,080even though I have forglven you.124001:21:27,080 --> 01:21:28,798Have you got somethlng to say, then?124101:21:28,879 --> 01:21:31,393-Wel|, urn, Inspector...-Go on, go on, tell hlm to get out.124201:21:31,480 --> 01:21:32,549Yes, urn...124301:21:32,639 --> 01:21:35,153And tell hlm to apologlse.Tell hlm you know your rlghts.124401:21:35,240 --> 01:21:37,993Tell hlm you'll sue hlm for llbelIf he don't apologlse.124501:21:38,080 --> 01:21:39,274She'll get me Jalled for llfe.124601:21:39,359 --> 01:21:42,476Go on, Joe, tell hlm. Joe Is my flancee.124701:21:42,559 --> 01:21:45,676Well, urn, Inspector, as you don't appearto have found anythlng...124801:21:45,800 --> 01:21:47,677That's rlght. Really lay It on hlm.124901:21:47,759 --> 01:21:50,512I suggest we, urn, eall It a day.125001:21:50,639 --> 01:21:53,312-Don't you?-That's a blt pathetlc, lnnlt?125101:21:53,399 --> 01:21:55,355-CarolI-Well, I mean, he'sJust ealled us125201:21:55,440 --> 01:21:57,271a bunch of crlmlnals.We could sue hlm for that.125301:21:57,360 --> 01:22:00,796Excuse me, ma'am,I haven't ealled any of you crlmlnals125401:22:01,759 --> 01:22:02,908yet.125501:22:03,000 --> 01:22:04,194CAROL: Oh, yes, you dld. I heard you.125601:22:04,279 --> 01:22:07,828You sald we had stolen goods.What sort of people do you thlnk we are?125701:22:07,920 --> 01:22:11,071Accuslng us of belng crlmlnals.We are respectable.125801:22:11,160 --> 01:22:15,278I have never done anythlng crlmlnalIn my llfe. I work In a supermarket.125901:22:15,359 --> 01:22:17,793-lekl.-And as for Joe. Well, he's a taxl drlver126001:22:17,879 --> 01:22:20,518and Peter ls, well...126101:22:20,600 --> 01:22:24,070And as for Tom, well, you could hardlyeall hlm a crlmlnal. He's a mechanlc.126201:22:24,159 --> 01:22:25,387-N|kkl...-And lekl,126301:22:25,480 --> 01:22:27,630-wel|, she's respectable. She's a strlpper.-leklI126401:22:27,720 --> 01:22:31,952And so the last thlng you could ever flndIn thls place would be stolen property.126501:23:13,839 --> 01:23:18,037Just been vlsltlng Torn. Poor bastard.Got flve years. Hlm and hls mates.126601:23:18,120 --> 01:23:20,111I thought I was golng to go down myselfat one polnt.126701:23:20,200 --> 01:23:23,192But as I explalned to them,I was a vlctlm of the clrcumstances.126801:23:23,279 --> 01:23:24,871And they let me off wlth a eautlon.126901:23:24,959 --> 01:23:26,790Mlnd you, I thlnk they were glad to seethe back of me,127001:23:26,880 --> 01:23:29,440'eause Carol was pesterlngthe llfe out of them.127101:23:29,519 --> 01:23:32,955lekl got out of It all rlght. Probatlon.Flrst offence.127201:23:33,040 --> 01:23:34,996Tom's asked meto keep an eye on her for hlm.127301:23:35,080 --> 01:23:37,594That's a favour I shan't mlnd dolng.127401:23:37,679 --> 01:23:40,239Lost me a lot of tlme, though,all thls buslness wlth the law.127501:23:40,320 --> 01:23:43,630Lost me a place to llve and all.Guess where I've ended up?127601:23:44,480 --> 01:23:46,596MRS NORTH: Nothlng llkehome cooklng, Is there?127701:23:46,680 --> 01:23:48,796Not llke your home cooklng, there Isn't.127801:23:48,879 --> 01:23:52,667Carol rang up. Sald she'd be round at 0:00.You were taklng her out.127901:23:52,760 --> 01:23:55,638Oh, yeah. That's really lumbered meIn It, that has.128001:23:55,719 --> 01:23:57,675I suppose the only good thlngthat's come out of thls ls you.128101:23:57,759 --> 01:23:58,953Gettlng off on probatlon.128201:23:59,040 --> 01:24:00,678Really shook you up, that brush wlth the law.128301:24:00,760 --> 01:24:03,832Good thlng, too.Turned over a new leaf, you have.128401:24:03,919 --> 01:24:06,831You stlll eat anythlng thatlles stlll on a plate though, don't you?128501:24:06,919 --> 01:24:09,387So, you've learnt your lesson.I'm glad to see It.128601:24:09,480 --> 01:24:11,550Good to see you golng stralght.128701:24:11,640 --> 01:24:14,438Well, I'm off. Where's my fares book?128801:24:17,800 --> 01:24:19,358Bloody heIII128901:24:19,439 --> 01:24:23,990Here, don't you bloody swearIn front of the baby. Teaches her bad hablts.129001:24:58,440 --> 01:25:01,159Hello, darllng.Whlch brldge do you want thls tlme?129101:25:01,239 --> 01:25:02,991Post Offlce Tower, please.129101:25:03,305 --> 01:25:09,490Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org