Original subtitles

[When You Wish Upon a Star]

*

[magical orchestral music]

*

[dog barking]

- COME ON, BOY, LET'S GO.

LET'S GO, BUDDY. COME ON.

ALL RIGHT.

GO.

[Buddy barking] HEY--OH!

UHH!

TAKE THE SHOT.

YEAH, GOOD BOY.

ALL RIGHT.

HYUH!

COME ON, BUDDY.

- [barks]

- GOOD SHOT.

GET IT.

LET'S GET IT.

OHH!

[laughing]

ALL RIGHT, BOY, HERE'S MY ADVERSARY.

ALL RIGHT, BOY, THIS IS GAME POINT.

LET'S GO.

- [barks]

- OH...

- [barking]

[beeping]

- OH, MAN, WE GOTTA GO, BOY.

- [barking]

- HEY, MOM, SORRY WE'RE LATE.

- HI, JOSH! - HI!

- WHO WON?

- [barks] - STOP BRAGGING.

- BUDDY WON? - GET YOUR COAT.

[Buddy grunts] - SORRY, BUDDY, YOU CAN'T GO.

LOVE YOU. BYE.

- [whimpers]

[panting]

- [indistinct]

WHY CAN'T BUDDY COME?

- OH, LET'S ZIP UP YOUR COAT.

- ALL RIGHT, BOY, I'LL GIVE YOU THE PLAY-BY-PLAY

WHEN I GET BACK, ALL RIGHT?

- OKAY, BUCKLE UP.

- YOU GOT YOUR SEATBELT ON?

- YES, COURSE I DO.

- TOO BAD BUDDY COULDN'T COME.

[crowd cheering]

- UHH!

- GOT TICKETS HERE! WHO NEEDS TICKETS?

I HAVE TICKETS.

LET'S GO HERE. TICKETS! I GOT TICKETS.

[whirring] - TICKETS HERE, COME ON.

[whistle blows]

- UHH! UHH!

- [grunting]

- TICKETS! I GOT TICKETS.

[game announcer speaking indistinctly]

[cheers and applause]

- [grunting]

- UHH!

[indistinct game announcer]

[cheers and applause]

- [grunts]

- MY DOG CAN SHOOT BETTER THAN THAT!

- UH, YOU MEAN LIKE THAT DOG OVER THERE?

[laughter]

- OH, NO!

[indistinct chatter]

- WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

DOG! COME HERE!

[cheers and applause]

- OH!

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

- YEAH, A DOG!

- SORRY.

- UHH! - OHH!

- HE'S OVER THERE! - YO, YO, YO, GO!

- WHOA!

- GRAB HIM, GRAB HIM!

[cheers and applause]

- SO...WHOA!

- LOOKING FOR THIS?

- THIS DOG'S GOT A MEAN JUMP SHOT.

- THANKS...MR. BLUE.

- HEY, GUYS, HOW ABOUT A PICTURE?

[flashbulbs clicking]

- HEY, TOM, I GOT TO TAKE BUDDY

TO THE VET AFTER SCHOOL TOMORROW.

IT'S KIND OF A TWO-MAN JOB.

- YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, KEMO SABE.

- HELLO, BOYS!

both: HELLO, MS. SALTER.

- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST THING

ABOUT THE EIGHTH GRADE IS?

- WHAT'S THAT?

- GIRLS HAVE TURNED INTO WOMEN.

- HI, TAMMY.

SHE LIKES ME SO MUCH, SHE'S SPEECHLESS.

- [scoffs] YEAH, RIGHT.

- SHE'LL LIKE ME EVEN MORE

WHEN SHE SEES ME IN A FOOTBALL UNIFORM.

- FOOTBALL UNIFORM? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- WOMEN DIG FOOTBALL PLAYERS.

SO I'M GOING OUT FOR THE TEAM.

- YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

- NO, I'VE BEEN... WORKING OUT ALL SUMMER.

- [scoffs] YEAH.

ANYWAY, TOM, YOU CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL.

I MEAN, YOU'RE A BASKETBALL PLAYER.

- WELL, DEION SANDERS PLAYED TWO SPORTS.

[school bell rings]

- [whimpering]

[goat bleats]

[dogs barking]

- JOSH...THEY'RE ALL LOOKING AT US FUNNY.

- SO WHAT?

YOU KNOW BUDDY HATES THE VET.

- BUDDY FRAMM?

[Buddy whimpering]

- BUDDY. COME ON, BUDDY.

SIT. GOOD.

[both grunting]

[Buddy whimpering]

- LET'S GO, BUDDY.

- I TAKE IT HE'S A LITTLE NERVOUS?

- WHOA! GOT HIM!

- UHH! - OHH.

- WHERE'S DR. RAGLAND?

- UH, HE'S TAKING A YEAR'S SABBATICAL.

I'M FILLING IN. MY NAME'S PATRICK SULLIVAN.

- HI, I'M JOSH. AND THIS IS BUDDY.

- HELLO, BUDDY.

LOOK AT YOU.

WHAT A HANDSOME DOG.

GOOD DOG.

LET'S GET HIM UP ON THE TABLE.

- ALL RIGHT. COME ON, BOY.

HE DOESN'T REALLY LIKE THE VET.

HE MIGHT NEED SOME HELP.

- COME ON, BOY. [slaps table]

- WELL. - OKAY.

- [barking]

- [chuckling] GOOD.

OKAY, OKAY. HOLD STILL.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- JUST MAKING SURE EVERYTHING'S IN PLACE.

SPINAL COLUMN FEELS RIGHT.

NO SLIPPED DISCS.

MUSCLE TONE'S GOOD.

YEAH, YOUR DOG COULD RUN A MARATHON.

- OR PLAY BASKETBALL.

UHH!

- PLAY BASKETBALL? THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

- HMM.

- OH, LOOKS LIKE BUDDY'S DUE FOR HIS DISTEMPER SHOT.

- OH, UH, YOU MIGHT WANT TO USE THE STRAPS.

BUDDY'S NOT VERY GOOD WITH NEEDLES.

- OH, I DON'T THINK HE'S GOING ANYWHERE.

- UH...ALL RIGHT.

IF YOU SAY SO.

[distant siren]

- [gulp] - THERE, SEE?

IT'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.

- OHH.

UGH. OH!

[weakly] UH, I'M OKAY.

- LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.

HELLO, CHILDREN,

AND WELCOME TO NATALYA'S

AMAZING AND STUPENDOUS ANIMAL CIRCUS.

- [squawk] SHOW ME THE MONEY.

SHOW ME THE MONEY.

- ONE MORE TIME.

HELLO, CHILDREN, AND WELCOME TO NATALYA'S--

- I'M BACK, MY LITTLE MACKEREL.

- AHH!

parrot: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!

- IDIOT!

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?

NEVER INTERRUPT ME WHEN I AM THROTTLING A PERFORMER!

- SORRY, NATALYA.

- AND THIS PLACE STINKS LIKE FISHES!

- IT'S ALL I COULD FIND ON OUR BUDGET.

BUT LOOK, I BROUGHT YOU THE AMAZING MORTIMER.

[laughs]

- WHAT IS SO AMAZING ABOUT HIM?

- WATCH THIS.

[chimp chattering]

- OOH!

[animals making noise]

- [screeching]

- SO...WE GO BACK TO RUSSIA NOW?

- NO! MY CIRCUS IS NOT COMPLETE!

WE STILL NEED TO FIND A MAIN ATTRACTION!

male newscaster: THERE HAS BEEN ANOTHER

IN A SERIES OF ANIMAL ABDUCTIONS.

A PRIZED CHIMPANZEE WAS STOLEN FROM A HOME

IN DOWNTOWN SEATTLE.

POLICE ARE BAFFLED AS TO THE MOTIVE.

ALL RIGHT, TIME NOW FOR SOMETHING SPECIAL.

- NUMBER ONE CIRCUS IN RUSSIA.

DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE OF THIS!

- MAKE WAY FOR AIR BUD,

THE NEWEST TOP DOG IN BASKETBALL.

- WE HAVE TO FIND THE PERFECT CREATURE!

- STOLE HIS WAY ONTO THE COURT

AND INTO OUR PLAY OF THE WEEK.

TAKE A LOOK.

[cheers and applause]

- WHAT'S THIS?

- [chattering]

- [laughing]

HE'S GOOD.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, MORTIMER, HUH?

OH, DA!

- [screeching]

- WE HAVE FOUND OUR MAIN ATTRACTION.

- FOOD, YES.

[grunts] THERE WE GO.

GOT THIS.

- WOW, HUNGRY?

- STARVING.

SO, UH, WHO WAS THAT ON THE PHONE?

- OH, THAT WAS, UM...

JUST A GUY FROM WORK.

HERB. - OH.

WHAT DID HE WANT?

- WELL, HE WANTED TO KNOW

IF HE COULD TAKE ME TO THE MOVIES.

- [chuckles]

SO IT'S A DATE.

- [scoffs]

DOESN'T...WEIRD YOU OUT?

- NO.

DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU SHOULD GO ON A DATE, MOM.

[giggles]

- OH, MAYONNAISE.

- [gulp]

- HEY!

BUDDY.

- [burp]

- SO, UH, YOU MUST BE 'ERB.

I'M JOSH.

IT'S, UH, H-ERB.

SEE?

[chuckles]

[sneezes]

OHH.

DO YOU HAVE A, UH...

CAT?

- UM, NO, BUT I HAVE A DOG.

COME HERE, BUDDY.

HEY, COME HERE, BOY.

- [sneezes]

OHH.

OH.

AAH!

[sneezes]

[whimpering]

[sneezing]

OHH. OHH.

[sneezes]

BYE, 'ERB.

[door slams]

- WHERE'S HERB?

- UM...WELL, HE KIND OF HAD TO RUN, SO...

- [whimpering]

- THESE ARE FOR YOU.

SO...YOU'RE RICHARD.

- THAT'S RIGHT. I'M IN LEGAL.

- OH, MY.

I MUST BE IN THE WRONG HOUSE.

I WAS EXPECTING JACKIE FRAMM, NOT CINDY CRAWFORD.

- HEH HEH.

- AHEM.

[seagulls calling]

- I DON'T KNOW.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT JUST THINKING ABOUT MYSELF.

I'M ALSO THINKING ABOUT JOSH AND ANDREA.

MAYBE IT'S TOO SOON FOR ME TO BE DATING.

DO YOU THINK IT'S TOO SOON?

- [grunts]

- [sighs]

MAYBE I'M JUST NOT MEANT TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN.

- [whimpers and barks] - OHH OHH!

- [barking]

OHH...

BUDDY, IT'S A RAMP. IT'S A RAMP, STOP IT!

BUDDYYYY!

- BUDDY...BUDDY!

LOOK OUUUUT!

- AHH! HEY!

- SORRY!

BUDDY, DID YOU SEE WHAT YOU JUST DID?

BUD--BUDDY...

AAAAH!

NO! STOP!

LOOK OUUUUT!

OOF! - UHH!

- ARE WE...RUSHING THINGS?

- [barking]

- UM, MOM...

- HUH? HI, SWEETIE.

- SO...WHERE'S THIS VET TAKING YOU?

- I DON'T KNOW. HE WANTS TO SURPRISE ME.

- HMM.

SO, UH, WHAT TIME ARE YOU PLANNING TO BE HOME?

- WHA--

NOW, WHEN DID YOU BECOME THE MOM

AND ME THE ADOLESCENT?

- OH...SORRY.

[doorbell rings]

- JOSH, BE NICE.

- HI.

- HI.

WOW, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

- OH, YOU LOOK...RUMPLED.

- OH, YEAH.

I, UH, LEFT MY IRON IN SAN DIEGO.

- BETTER THAN LEAVING YOUR HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO.

[both laugh]

- HEY, THERE HE IS. HI, BUDDY.

- HI, ANDREA.

WHOA.

- HI, PATRICK.

- HEY, JOSH.

- HEY, DR. SULLIVAN.

- HEY, I HEARD YOU WERE INTO SPORTS.

GOT YOU SOMETHING.

- OH.

- I STARTED PLAYING WHEN I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE.

- GEE, THANKS.

- YOU EVER PLAY?

- UM, WELL, NO, ACTUALLY.

BASKETBALL IS KIND OF MY SPORT.

BUT THANKS. IT'S--IT'S NICE.

- WELL, I GUESS WE BETTER GO.

UH, JOSH, NO TV AFTER 9:00.

AND I'VE WRITTEN DOWN MRS. CLUMSKY'S PHONE NUMBER

ON THE PAD RIGHT BESIDE THE--

- I KNOW, MOM.

- OKAY. ALL RIGHT, I LOVE YOU GUYS.

BYE, SWEETIE.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, JOSH.

- YEAH, GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.

- OH, JOSH, YOU LEFT THE GARAGE OPEN.

- OH, SORRY.

[door closes]

- [sighs]

LET'S GO, BOY. COME ON.

[garage door rumbling]

- STAYIN' OUT HERE, BOY? - [whimpers]

- ALL RIGHT.

[door creaks]

- [grunting]

OHH!

HOW DID THIS GET IN HERE?

- [barking]

[Oh, Where Has My Little Dog Gone playing]

*

- I TOLD YOU TO GET PLAIN WHITE TRUCK,

NOT MUSICAL TRUCK.

- IT WAS GOOD DEAL.

IT CAME WITH ALL THE ICE CREAM YOU COULD EAT.

[tires screech] - AAH!

- UNH!

- STUPID BOY AND DOG.

WAIT A MINUTE!

[tires screech] - UNH!

- THAT WAS OUR BOY AND DOG!

- OH, NATALYA!

[thud] OHH. OOF!

- THEY'VE BEEN ON FOUR DATES ALREADY.

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER FOUR DATES, DON'T YOU?

- WHAT'S THAT?

- SPEED DIAL.

- SPEED DIAL?

- YEAH.

IF HIS NUMBER'S BEEN PROGRAMMED INTO YOUR SPEED DIAL,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO SHOPPING FOR YOUR TUXEDO.

- AH.

- WHEN DOGGY GETS CLOSE,

WE NAB HIM WITH NET.

- [laughing] GOT IT. NAB HIM WITH NET.

- IT WILL BE PIECE OF PIE.

- AND IF HE BUYS YOU A GIFT...

HE'S TRYING TO BRIBE YOU.

- BRIBE ME TO DO WHAT?

- CALL HIM DAD.

[Buddy barks]

NICE.

- OOF!

- OH, MY! OH, MY!

[both shouting]

both: WHOA!

- [snorting]

[door creaks]

- HEY, CHECK THE SPEED DIAL.

- HEY, JOSH, YOU GOT A GREAT ARM.

[beep]

- I'M NOT GOING OUT FOR THE TEAM, TOM.

[line ringing]

woman: FERNFIELD NAPKIN FACTORY.

HOW MAY I DIRECT YOUR--

- OH! SORRY.

WRONG NUMBER.

[beep beep]

- WOULD YOU JUST THINK ABOUT IT?

- NO.

- THIS IS REALLY HEAVY.

- DON'T HURT YOURSELF.

- MOMMY, CAN I HELP YOU WITH THE GAZEBO?

- HELLO?

- OH. OH, SORRY.

GRANDMA, WRONG NUMBER.

UM, IT'S JOSH.

LOVE YOU. BYE.

[beep]

[scoffs] HE COMES HERE EVERY AFTERNOON.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, FOOTBALL PRACTICE

IS EVERY AFTERNOON.

- HMM.

[beep beep]

HE'S HELPING MY MOM BUILD THE GAZEBO.

- I FEEL LIKE A WHOLE NEW MAN.

- [squeals and laughs]

- OHH.

THAT'S WORSE THAN SPEED DIAL, BUDDY.

- HI, THIS IS PATRICK.

LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP.

[beep]

[beep]

- WHEN'S THE NEXT FOOTBALL PRACTICE?

- TOUCHDOWN.

[whistle blows] - UHH!

- THAT'S IT, ON THE BREAK!

[grunting]

- [groans]

cheerleaders: WHEN I SAY BOOGIE, YOU SAY DOWN!

- [grunting]

- UHH! OHH!

[indistinct cheer]

- UH! OH! UHH!

[whistle blows] - RRR!

- HOLD! TAKE FIVE.

LOW, REMEMBER?

- UH-- - USE THOSE LEGS!

GET UNDERNEATH THEM.

- UH, EXCUSE-- EXCUSE US, COACH FANELLI.

- YEAH? - HI, I'M TOM; HE'S JOSH.

- AH, HI.

- WE WERE WONDERING IF YOU STILL GOT ROOM

FOR A COUPLE MORE PLAYERS?

- I ALWAYS GOT ROOM FOR PLAYERS ON MY TEAM.

WHAT POSITIONS DO YOU PLAY?

- I'M WIDE RECEPTOR.

- RECEIVER.

- UH, YEAH.

- [chuckles] AND YOU?

- OH, WELL, I'M-- I MEAN, WHATEVER.

YOU KNOW, I COULD...

- HE'S A QUARTERBACK.

HE'S GOT A KILLER ARM.

- REALLY? LET'S SEE.

- UH, HERE, TOM.

HERE.

YOU, UH, PUT THIS ON.

GO AHEAD, GO DEEP.

TOWARD THE END ZONE, DEEP.

COME ON, LET'S SEE THAT KILLER ARM.

- LOOK OUT.

- [mouth full] ALL RIGHT, HURRY UP.

[clang] - OHH!

- OHH. OH.

MR. RECEPTOR WILL FIT RIGHT IN.

- YEAH.

- NICE ARM. - THANKS.

- YOU KNOW, I COULD USE A BACKUP QUARTERBACK.

- WH-WHAT'S A BACKUP DO?

- YOU BACK UP COLE POWERS OVER THERE.

HE'S THE HOTTEST QUARTERBACK IN THE LEAGUE RIGHT NOW.

YOU MIGHT NOT GET MUCH PLAYING TIME.

- OH, THAT'S OKAY.

- YOU SURE? MY PRACTICES ARE NO PICNIC.

CAPISCE?

- WELL, YEAH, I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT.

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

ONCE AROUND THE FIELD, FULL LAP.

GO. - NOW?

- GO 'HEAD, NOW. GO, GO! COME ON.

GO! HIT IT! LET'S GO!

EXTEND! EXTEND! - OH, I GOT A HEADACHE.

[whistle blows]

- OH! OH, OH.

[whistle blows]

- OHH! I GOT HIM!

- WATCH IT. HEY, WATCH IT!

[shouting and laughter]

- UHH! OHH.

- UHH!

[groans]

[whistle blows]

- UHH.

- HEY, TAMMY.

OW!

[boys shout] OHH!

[laughter]

- [groans]

- [groans]

Andrea: WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE TEA, BUDDY?

- [inquisitive whimper]

[door squeaks]

- WHEW.

[door shuts]

- [grunts]

- HI.

[whispers] OKAY.

- MOM, WHAT'S BOTHERING HIM?

- UHH!

- WHAT A MESS.

- OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

OHH!

[groaning]

- OW.

- YOU JOINED THE FOOTBALL TEAM?

- YEAH.

YEAH, I LOVE FOOTBALL.

- SINCE WHEN?

- UM, WELL, SINCE, UH...

SINCE I, UH... - HMM...

- TALKED TO, UM...

- I'LL, UH...

PUT THIS IN THE WASH.

- [scoffs] OKAY.

- BRING DOWN YOUR PANTS TOO.

- ALL RIGHT. MY...PANTS.

HEY, BOY.

OH, NOT NOW, BOY.

MY HEAD HURTS.

- IT'S OKAY.

[dog whimpering]

- IT'S NEVER GONNA WORK, TOM, I JUST KNOW IT.

- TRAVELING DOCTORS ARE WORSE THAN TRAVELING SALESMEN.

HE'S PROBABLY GOT A WOMAN AT EVERY PORT.

OKAY, WELL, JUST GO IN THERE AND CHECK IT OUT, ALL RIGHT?

- WHATEVER.

- WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE TROUBLE?

- HIS HIP BONE. - HIS TAIL BONE.

- WHICH IS IT?

- H-HIS TAIL.

YOU KNOW... THE BONE IN HIS TAIL.

- YEAH, YOU KNOW, HIS TAIL,

IT JUST HASN'T BEEN ITSELF LATELY, YOU KNOW.

- MM, YOU KNOW, NO WAG.

- NO WAG?

- WELL, YEAH, I MEAN,

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE TAIL THAT DOESN'T WAG.

- YEAH, EXACTLY.

- YEAH, SO, UH...

OH, UM...

WELL, YOU SEE, TOM AND I KIND OF FIGURED OUT

THAT--THAT IT ONLY WAGS WHEN HE'S LYING DOWN AND...

- NOT WHEN HE'S STANDING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- HMM.

WELL, IT, UH, LOOKS FINE TO ME.

BUT IF IT'LL MAKE YOU BOYS FEEL BETTER,

WE'LL GET IT X-RAYED JUST TO MAKE SURE.

- OH, GREAT. - GOOD IDEA.

- COME ON, BUDDY.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

- THANK YOU. - YEP.

- TOM, I DON'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS.

I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR, ANYWAYS?

- ANYTHING THAT'LL SHOW THAT THIS GUY'S

A ROAMING ROMEO.

- COME ON, TOM.

I MEAN, THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME.

I MEAN, HE'S GONNA CATCH US. LET'S GO, ALL RIGHT?

- WAIT, WAIT, WHOA.

WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

GOT IT.

- COME ON, BUDDY.

- BUDDY'S TAIL CHECKS OUT JUST FINE.

- OH, THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S--THAT'S JUST GREAT.

THANKS. - COME ON, BUDDY.

- THANKS, DR. SULLIVAN.

- PATRICK. YOU CAN CALL ME...

- PATRICK. - PATRICK.

- OKAY, THANKS.

[door shuts]

- WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO?

[sighs]

STOP IT, BOY. BUDDY!

STOP IT.

[Buddy whimpering]

[Buddy grunting playfully]

I DON'T WANT TO PLAY.

BUDDY...

[grunts]

- [growls]

- OH, MAN!

YOU CAN PLAY FOOTBALL.

HEH. HOLY COW.

GO! GO, BOY. GO!

UHH!

HEY, BOY.

HEY.

BRING THAT BACK.

HEY! BUDDY...

[Buddy growling and barking playfully]

HEY!

[Buddy barking]

AH, GET OFF ME.

BUDDY.

[laughing]

[Buddy barks]

GOOD CATCH! BRING IT, BOY.

COME ON, BRING IT.

[Buddy growling] HEY, GIVE IT.

HEY! UHH!

COME HERE.

[Buddy panting]

COME HERE, BOY.

[laughing]

[Buddy barking]

HERE, BOY, HERE YOU GO.

I'M READY FOR MY FIRST GAME, ALL RIGHT?

I KNOW, I WISH YOU COULD PLAY TOO, BUDDY

[kiss] MISS YOU. BYE-BYE.

- [whimpers]

[door closes]

[kids shouting]

- I'VE BEEN A VOLUNTEER COACH FOR 14 YEARS.

- I NEARLY BLEW A GASKET ABOUT IT, JIMMY,

BUT THE SCHOOL BOARD ISN'T BUDGING ON THIS ONE.

THEY'RE ALL MOANING THAT YOU HAVEN'T HAD

A WINNING SEASON IN TEN YEARS.

ATTENDANCE IS DOWN,

AND THE FOOTBALL PROGRAM IS EXPENSIVE.

- WINNING ISN'T WHAT KIDS' FOOTBALL IS ALL ABOUT.

- I KNOW.

THE SCHOOL BOARD GAVE ME A CHOICE.

AT THE END OF THE SEASON, I CAN EITHER DROP

THE FOOTBALL PROGRAM...

- THERE'S NOT EVEN AN OUNCE OF-- - OR...

I, UH, LET YOU GO.

[sighs]

I'M SORRY, IT'S JUST...

IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS.

[marching band playing]

Salter: ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, COME ON!

MORE AROUND YOU. COME ON, KICK IT!

[crowd chattering]

[indistinct chatter]

[metal banging]

- WEEBLE.

YOU FORGOT SOMETHING.

- OH...THANKS, GOOSE.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.

- UHH!

- JEEZ, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE SEEN A GHOST.

WHAT'S WRONG, YOU GOT BUTTERFLIES?

- TOM, WHY WOULD I HAVE BUTTERFLIES?

I'M A BENCHWARMER, REMEMBER?

- HEY, YOU SET, BOYS?

- WHEW.

- ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

LET'S GET OUT THERE AND WIN THIS ONE FOR THE HOME TEAM!

all: YEAH!

- LET'S WIN!

- RAZZLE DAZZLE.

- YEAH, RIGHT, TOM.

- HEY, LET'S GO.

- YEAH, SURE, COACH.

- WELCOME, EVERYONE,

TO THE OPENING GAME

OF THE FERNFIELD JUNIOR HIGH FOOTBALL TEAM!

[whistle blows]

- HYUH!

- AAH!

UHH!

[all shouting] - COME ON!

- UHH!

[whistle blows]

cheerleaders: WHEN I SAY GO, YOU SAY FIGHT!

- OHH. EW.

- WAY TO GO, BABY! WE GOT 'EM!

NOW LET'S KNOCK IT BACK!

AND LET'S HIT SOMEBODY, ALL RIGHT?

[whistle blows]

cheerleaders: BOOGIE DOWN!

* GO, FIGHT, WIN TONIGHT

* BOOGIE ON DOWN, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT *

* GO, FIGHT, WIN TONIGHT

* BOOGIE ON DOWN, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT *

- ALL RIGHT.

- [whimpers]

[playing She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain]

- REMEMBER, WE GO INTO BACKYARD.

WE GRAB POOCH.

THEN WE MAKE LIKE BANANA AND PEEL.

- YOU MEAN SPLIT.

- HELLO, I'D LIKE AN ICE CREAM BAR.

AND MY SISTER WOULD LIKE A CHOCOLATE SWIRL.

- WE'RE ALL OUT OF CHOCOLATE SWIRLS.

BUT, UM, WE HAVE FUDGE STICK WITH CANDY SPRINKLES.

[truck door slams] - WE HAVE NO SPRINKLES.

GO AWAY!

IDIOT!

[loud thud]

DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

HUH?

WE FOLLOW! - AH!

[indistinct team chatter]

[grunting]

[all shouting]

- YEAH, TOM, YEAH, TOM.

YEAH, YEAH, TOM, YEAH!

[whistle blows, all groan]

- [sighs]

GONNA BE A LONG SEASON.

[She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain playing]

boy: WHOA! HE'S TURNING!

- WE WANT ICE CREAM, COME ON! - FASTER!

- FASTER!

- COME ON!

Salter: PAUL'S GOT IT! HE'D RUNNING WITH IT!

- LET'S GO! YES, BABY!

YES!

Salter: RUN, PAUL!

RUN!

YES! RUN!

YES! YES! YES!

GOOD JOB!

[cheers and applause]

- YES! YES! - AH, IT'S OVER!

Fanelli: THAT'S RIGHT! HEY!

- THERE HE IS.

*

- STOP THE TRUCK! OOF!

[truck speaker bloops]

- LET'S GO.

- AGH! STOP HIM.

- HURRY, HURRY!

HURRY, HE'S GETTING AWAY!

- AH, WE GOT HIM NOW!

[giggling]

- OH, I'VE HAD IT! THAT'S IT!

PEOPLE! KIDS! DOGS!

YOU IDIOTS!

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYBODY RUNNING THROUGH MY YARD!

- OW! - YOU'RE RUINING MY GARDEN!

- AAH!

- STOP!

- OH, HE'S GETTING AWAY! - STOP HIM!

Salter: HIGH SNAP! COLE'S PICKED IT UP!

[grunting]

HE'S RUNNING!

HE'S AT THE 30!

40!

[grunting]

- [gasps]

- OH, NO.

- OH, NO, COLE'S DOWN!

NATE, MARLON, COME HERE!

- [groans]

- COME ON, COLE. COME ON, BUDDY! GET UP!

[whistle blows]

Salter: GRACIOUS. COLE IS HURT.

- IT'S ALL RIGHT.

Salter: IS HE ALL RIGHT?

- IT'S ALL RIGHT, COLE. GOOD WORK.

COME ON, GIVE IT UP, GUYS!

GOOD WORK, COLE! - WATCH IT.

[scattered applause]

- THAT A BOY!

- ALL RIGHT, TAKE HIM RIGHT INTO THE TRAINERS.

YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT, SON. JUST HOLD IT STILL.

ALL RIGHT, HE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

POWELL'S GOT A DISLOCATED SHOULDER.

PUDGE.

- HE--HE CAN PLAY WITH THAT, THOUGH, RIGHT COACH?

- I'M AFRAID NOT, SON.

JOSH, YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON. GET IN THERE.

COME ON, OPEN UP WITH B-52, GO!

[whistle blows]

- THERE GOES OUR SHOT AT A WINNING SEASON.

- GIVE HIM TIME. HE'LL BE FINE.

- HEY, JOSH IS GOING IN!

Salter: IT, UH, LOOKS LIKE JOSH BROWN,

NUMBER EIGHT, IS STEPPING IN TO TAKE THE HELM.

BREAK A LEG! [mic feedback]

- SO WHAT'S THE CALL, JOSH?

- CALL--GOOD QUESTION.

- OH, WE'RE GONNA DIE.

- GIVE HIM A BREAK.

- ALL RIGHT, B-52. BREAK!

all: BREAK!

- TOM, WHICH ONE'S B-52?

- CROSSING PATTERN, DEEP.

- ALL RIGHT! READY!

B-52! DOWN!

- JOSH, OVER HERE.

- OH.

[audience laughing]

ALL RIGHT!

- [growling]

- B-52!

READY! GO! SET! HIKE, HIKE!

[grunting]

- HE'S OPEN! HE'S OPEN!

- I'M WIDE OPEN!

UHH!

- [yelps]

- [whimpers]

- UHH.

[shouting]

- OH, DEAR!

[whistle blows]

[cheering]

- AY.

- GREAT.

[scoffs]

OHH.

[grunts]

[whistle blows]

- HANG IN THERE, DEFENSE! HANG IN THERE!

[cheerleaders chanting indistinctly]

COME ON. IT AIN'T THE END OF THE WORLD.

COME ON, PUT ONE UP ON THESE CLOWNS.

YOU'RE THE MAN, JOSH!

- [inquisitive whimper]

[loud burp]

- ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S TRY B-52 AGAIN.

TRUST ME, IT'LL WORK THIS TIME.

READY?

- BREAK!

- 52!

- SET! HIKE!

[shouting and grunting]

- HE'S OPEN! HE'S OPEN!

Salter: JOSH IS GOING ON!

- [whimpering]

Salter: AND IT'S A PERFECT PASS!

RIGHT TO...A DOG!

- BUDDY.

- [laughing] THERE IS A DOG ON THE FIELD.

AND HE'S DOING A LOT BETTER THAN THE TROJANS!

- UHH!

- UHH!

- UHH!

- WHOA!

Salter: AND TOUCHDOWN!

[whistle blows]

- YES!

- SO THAT'S THE FAMOUS AIR BUD, HUH?

AMAZING DOG.

GREAT FORM.

HE REMINDS ME A LOT OF FRED BILETNIKOFF.

EXCEPT HE'S BETTER LOOKING THAN FRED.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU KNOW, YOU GOT A GREAT ARM ON YOU OUT THERE, SON,

BUT...IT'S LIKE YOU'RE PLAYING

FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.

FOOTBALL'S ALL ABOUT HAVING FUN.

THAT'S GOT TO BE YOUR BOTTOM LINE, JOSH.

COME ON.

SEE YA.

- [grunting and growling]

- I KNOW YOU WANT TO PLAY ON THE TEAM, BOY.

BUT YOU JUST CAN'T, YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE FOOTBALL'S NOT LIKE BASKETBALL.

'CAUSE YOU MIGHT GET HURT,

AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT, DO IT?

AND YOU GOT TO WEAR EQUIPMENT AND A HELMET.

I KNOW IT'S NOT FAIR.

[Buddy barking]

- [growls]

- HEY, BOY.

PERFECT.

BOY, TRY THIS ON.

UHH.

- COME ON, GUYS, COME ON.

GUY, COME ON, MOVE IT.

COME ON, GUYS, MEET ME HALFWAY HERE.

STOP. WE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO HERE.

[Buddy barks]

[laughter]

- WHAT'S THIS?

- GOT A NEW WIDE RECEPTOR FOR YOU.

- WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF A JOKE?

- WELL, NO.

I MEAN, LIKE YOU SAID,

THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM ON YOUR TEAM

FOR A COUPLE MORE PLAYERS.

- COME ON, DOGS DON'T PLAY FOOTBALL.

- YEAH, THEY DON'T PLAY BASKETBALL EITHER, RIGHT?

- COME ON, COACH,

WE'LL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE LEAGUE.

- HAVE YOU ALL FORGOTTEN WE'VE BEEN THE LAUGHING STOCK

OF THE LEAGUE FOR THE LAST DECADE?

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. FELLAS, FELLAS, FELLAS.

COME ON, WHOA, WHOA. QUIET DOWN HERE, COME ON.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, JOSH?

- READY TO HAVE SOME FUN, COACH.

BOTTOM LINE.

- ALL RIGHT. [chuckles]

LET'S SEE WHAT THIS POOCH IS MADE OF.

- GO, SET! HIKE, HIKE!

[whistle blows]

- [growling]

[whistle blows]

- UP, DOWN. KICKERS TOO, JUAN.

NO KNEES, WEEBLE. UP, DOW--

THAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT, BOYS.

[Buddy barking]

[whistle blows]

[Buddy growling]

- YEAH! - YEAH!

- [grunts]

- I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, BOYS.

THAT AIN'T NO GOLDEN RETRIEVER.

THAT THERE IS A GOLDEN RECEIVER.

HEY HEY, THERE HE IS.

SAY HELLO TO YOUR NEW TEAMMATE, FELLAS.

[laughs]

- [singing badly] * OR THE LAND

* OF THE FREE

* AND THE

* HOME

* OF THE [Buddy whimpering]

* BRAVE

[cheers and applause]

[marching band plays]

*

- ALL RIGHT, COME ON, NOW. LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

COME ON.

- THAT'S IT.

GOOD BOY.

[whistle blows]

- RAMS!

[shouting]

- UHH!

WE'RE GONNA KICK SOME RAM BUTT TODAY.

I CAN FEEL IT.

- AAH!

UHH!

[whistle blows]

- SINCE WHEN ARE YOU MR. CONFIDENT?

- SINCE I GOT MY HANDS ON A GENUINE

JERRY RICE NOSE SPREADER.

- COME ON, NOW. HIT SOMEBODY OUT THERE.

- OKAY, COACH. NO PROBLEM.

- I DON'T WANT TO SEE A GREEN SHIRT STANDING, ALL RIGHT?

LET'S GO, OFFENSE!

ALL RIGHT, JOSH. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.

- HEY, BUDDY, JUST LIKE WE PRACTICED.

LET'S GO. COME ON.

Salter: KICK IT, GIRLS!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

NAVY BLUE AND GOLD!

[laughter]

cheerleaders: BLUE AND GOLD!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

NAVY BLUE AND GOLD!

[Buddy grunting]

- ALL RIGHT, GUYS, B-52, ON TWO.

[laughter] man: OH, THAT'S SO CUTE!

team: BREAK!

- ALL RIGHT!

[Buddy panting]

[laughter]

- B! 52!

DOWN! SET!

HIKE, HIKE!

[grunting]

- [barks]

- UHH!

[whistle blows]

- [squeals] - YEAH!

[applause]

[whistle blows]

- UHH!

- WAH!

[cheering indistinctly]

- LET'S DO RED 48, ALL RIGHT?

ON TWO.

- HYUH!

- [growling]

- LET'S DO G-28 ON TWO, ALL RIGHT?

- READY! all: BREAK!

- GO! "K"! HIKE!

[grunting]

- HEY!

- UHH! - [barking]

- OH...OH!

- [barking]

- AHH...OH, AH!

- DOES ANYBODY ON THIS TEAM WANNA PLAY FOOTBALL? OHH!

COME ON, GET HIM!

CUT OFF THE ANGLE! COME ON, TAKE OUT HIS PAWS!

DOG PILE HIM!

all: DOG PILE HIM!

- DOG PILE HIM! DOG PILE HIM!

DOG PILE!

AAH!

ALL RIGHT! YEAH!

- BUDDY!

- UHH! - GET OFF OF HIM!

- UHH!

- MOVE! GET OFF!

GET OFF NOW!

[whistle blows]

[applause]

AWW!

- [grunts]

- THAT IS ONE TALENTED DOG.

[coffee pouring]

YOU'RE DOING FINE TOO, JOSH, YOU KNOW?

YOU JUST NEED TO... FACE UP TO THE PRESSURE.

NOT DESERT THE POCKET TOO EARLY.

- I FOUND THESE IN YOUR OFFICE.

WHO ARE THEY?

- WELL...

THAT'S LAURA.

SHE LIVES IN SEATTLE.

AND THAT'S GAIL. SHE'S IN SANTA FE.

AND THE PRETTY ONE WITH THE RED HAIR,

THAT'S SHANNON MARIE.

SHE'S IN BOSTON.

- SO...

- AND THIS IS A PICTURE

OF THE WHOLE SULLIVAN CLAN.

SEE, THERE'S MOM AND DAD AND ME AND...

- YOUR THREE SISTERS.

- YOU KNOW, JOSH, I THINK WE COULD BE FRIENDS.

FIRST, WE GOT TO LEARN TO TRUST EACH OTHER.

"BROKEN TAIL."

- OH, PATRICK, THIS IS SO ROMANTIC.

- IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO FIX THE ENGINE,

WE COULD HAVE BEEN...

- NO, I THINK THIS IS PERFECT.

- WHAT'S WRONG?

- WELL...

I'VE BEEN OFFERED A PERMANENT JOB IN SAN DIEGO.

BUT...I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GOING TO ACCEPT IT.

- OH.

I-I DON'T WANT TO COMPLICATE THINGS FOR YOU.

BUT I WILL, IF YOU INSIST.

[giggles]

- I THINK JOSH WOULD BE VERY HAPPY

TO SEE ME LEAVE TOWN.

- WELL, IN LIEU OF GROWING FUR AND A TAIL,

FOR NOW... JUST BE HIS FRIEND.

- ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME HANDS! GIVE ME HANDS!

HOW WE GONNA PLAY?

- ROUGH! ROUGH! ROUGH!

- HOW WE GONNA PLAY? - ROUGH! ROUGH! ROUGH!

- LET'S GET 'EM!

[cheering]

[cheers and applause]

- UHH!

[whistle blows]

[cheers and applause]

- 25! DOWN!

SET! HUT!

[grunting]

- YES!

- SO YOU RUN X-CURL,

AND BUDDY IN THE DEEP FLY PATTERN.

STRAIGHT UP THE MIDDLE.

BETTER KNOWN AS THE CANINE KNOCKOUT.

THIS IS THE ONE FOR ALL THE MARBLES.

AFTER THAT, I WANT TO DO A COUPLE OF MOTION THINGS.

[cheers and applause]

[whistle blows]

[grunting]

- [shouting indistinctly]

- [growls]

- YES!

- YES! YES!

YES! YES!

COME HERE, PUDGY!

YEAH! WE DID IT, LITTLE GUY, WE DID IT!

- WHEN JOSH THREW THAT PASS TO BUDDY

AND HE SCORED THE HOMERUN,

THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK.

- TOUCHDOWN. - OH, FOOTBALL IS SO DRAMATIC.

YEAH.

HMM.

- I'VE COME TO A DECISION ABOUT THAT CONSULTING JOB

IN SAN DIEGO.

- YOU'RE GONNA ACCEPT IT.

- ONLY IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT THIS.

OHH.

[whispering] PATRICK.

OHH.

- JACKIE, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- NOTHING.

I MADE YOU A CAKE. SHAPED LIKE A FOOTBALL.

ISN'T IT CUTE?

- WHAT'S IN THAT BOX?

[knock on door]

- JOSH, MAY I COME IN?

[knock on door]

JOSH, PLEASE.

- [whimpering]

[owl hooting]

[creaking]

- [grunts]

NO, BUDDY. YOU CAN'T COME.

I MEAN IT, BUDDY, STAY.

[whimpering]

- [barks]

[Buddy barking]

[whimpering]

[yelps]

[whimpering]

- [laughing]

- WAY TO GO, NATALYA!

[humming Mexican Hat Dance]

*

- [whimpering]

- IT'S JACKIE FRAMM.

UH, JOSH HAS RUN AWAY.

IS HE THERE WITH YOU?

- JOSH ISN'T AT TOM'S HOUSE.

UH, I'LL TRY COACH FANELLI.

- THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

- TRAIN NUMBER 14 FROM PORTLAND

IS DELAYED 20 MINUTES

AND WILL BE ARRIVING ON TRACK TWO.

THAT'S TRAIN NUMBER 14 FROM PORTLAND

ARRIVE 20 MINUTES LATE ON TRACK TWO.

[indistinct conversation]

- YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE MOST ABOUT TRAIN STATION FOOD?

THERE'S NOTHING EVEN REMOTELY ITALIAN

ABOUT THE ITALIAN SUBS.

- OH, HI, COACH FANELLI.

- HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY, KID? YOU MIND IF I GRAB SOME WOOD?

- SURE.

- [grunts]

- HOW'D YOU FIND ME HERE?

- EH...I RAN AWAY MORE THAN A FEW TIMES

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.

USUALLY, I GOT ABOUT THIS FAR.

- HMM.

I'M LEAVING.

- WHERE YOU HEADING?

- SAN FRANCISCO.

- BOY, MY STAR QUARTERBACK IS WILLING TO PASS UP

THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME THIS AFTERNOON,

IT MUST SOMETHING PRETTY SERIOUS.

- HMM. - YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?

- NOPE.

- IT WOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO

WITH THE NEW MAN IN YOUR MOM'S LIFE, NOW, WOULD IT?

WOULD IT?

- HE'S NOT MY DAD, ALL RIGHT?

- NO, I GUESS HE ISN'T.

AND YOU LOVED YOUR FATHER VERY MUCH.

AHEM, SO...

SO WHERE YOU HEADING AFTER FOOTBALL SEASON?

- I'M RUNNING AWAY, REMEMBER?

- YEAH, I KNOW, WELL, I MEAN, THEORETICALLY,

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WEREN'T RUNNING AWAY,

WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING?

- I DON'T KNOW.

PROBABLY PLAY BASKETBALL OR SOMETHING.

- HMM.

WELL, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

THE WAY YOU'VE GOTTEN INTO FOOTBALL,

BASKETBALL WAS OUT.

- I NEVER SAID IT WAS OUT.

I STILL LOVE BASKETBALL.

IT'S JUST THAT I LOVE FOOTBALL TOO.

- HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

- YOU CAN...

- YOU LIKE THIS GUY PATRICK, JOSH?

DOESN'T MEAN YOU GOT TO STOP

LOVING YOUR FATHER, YOU KNOW.

YOUR MOM HASN'T.

- TRAIN NUMBER NINE TO SAN FRANCISCO

WILL BE ARRIVING IN FIVE MINUTES ON TRACK ONE.

- THAT'S ME.

- I GUESS THIS IS ARRIVEDERCI HUH, JOSH?

GOOD LUCK, KID.

- OH, UM...

I KIND OF OVERHEARD YOU AND MS. SALTER TALKING.

SHE SAID THAT THEY WERE GONNA GET A NEW FOOTBALL COACH.

I'M SORRY.

- AH, DON'T SWEAT IT.

I ONLY COACH 'CAUSE I LOVE THE KIDS.

IF WINNING'S ALL THEY'RE INTERESTED IN,

I'M NOT THE RIGHT GUY ANYWAY.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, KID.

- HEY, COACH...

UM...

IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE, UM...

CAN I GET A RIDE HOME WITH YOU?

- SURE, KID. COME ON.

- DON'T MIND IF WE STOP FOR A SLICE OF PIZZA?

[door shuts]

- OH, GOD, JOSH.

JOSH. [crying]

OH, I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

- MOM.

- PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, JOSH.

PROMISE ME.

- I PROMISE. I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

UM...

WHERE'S PATRICK? I GOTTA TALK TO HIM.

- PATRICK'S GONE, HONEY.

- WHERE'S HE GONE?

- HE'S TAKEN A JOB IN SAN DIEGO.

HE'S LEAVING ON HIS BOAT TOMORROW.

- WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?

- IT WAS TOO SOON.

- I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

- WHERE'S BUDDY?

- I THOUGHT HE WAS WITH YOU.

[wind whipping]

- BUDDY!

BUDDY!

BUDDY!

[echoing]

HE'S NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.

HE'S NEVER RUN AWAY.

- BUDDY CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF, HONEY.

- BUDDY!

WE GOTTA KEEP LOOKING.

- JOSH, THE GAME STARTS IN AN HOUR.

[cheering]

[marching band playing]

*

- LET'S ROCK!

- PLAY BALL! LET'S GO!

- GET 'EM! GO!

[cheers and applause]

- HOW WE GONNA PLAY! - ROUGH! ROUGH! ROUGH!

- HOW WE GONNA PLAY?

- ROUGH! ROUGH! ROUGH!

- LET'S GO KICK SOME GIANT BUTT!

- GO!

- COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO.

- THAT A BOY.

- GO, ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

READY TO GO.

ALL RIGHT.

I NEED YOU OUT THERE TODAY, JOSH.

- [whimpering]

- [grunts sadly]

- [brays]

- [moans]

- [chittering]

- [snorts and brays]

- CAW, HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

[Buddy whimpering]

- I'M GOING DOWN TO BOAT TO GET THINGS READY FOR LOADING.

IN THE MEANTIME, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING,

DON'T FEED ANYTHING... DON'T DO ANYTHING.

NOTHING!

[chimp squawking]

- BACK!

[squawks]

[door slams]

[all animals making noise]

- [screeching]

[marching band playing]

game announcer: THE FERNFIELD TIMBERWOLVES

AND THE TACOMA GIANTS.

IT'S PLAYOFF TIME!

THIS IS FRED DAVIS WITH MY GOOD FRIEND PHIL PHIL,

35-YEAR-VETERAN OF COLOR HERE,

TO BRING YOU THIS EXCITING GAME TODAY.

I WOULD SAY THAT THE EXCITEMENT IS AT FEVER PITCH, BILL.

THIS IS IT. ALL THE MARBLES ON THE TABLE.

*

OH, NO, DISAPPOINTING NEWS HERE, PHIL.

WE'VE JUST GOT WORD THAT AIR BUD,

THE CANINE WONDER,

WILL NOT BE PLAYING TODAY.

NOT BE PLAYING, YES. - OH, NO.

HAVE THEY CHECKED THE KENNEL?

[chimp squawking]

- [grunting]

[grunts]

- [screeching]

- [grunts]

- [barking]

- [laughing]

- READY, GUS?

- COME ON, GUS, YOU CAN DO IT!

- EUCH!

- [laughing]

[Buddy whimpering]

- [screeching]

- [whimpers]

[loud cranking]

- [screeching]

- [shouting in Russian]

[bird squawking]

[rhythmic knock]

- I DIDN'T TOUCH A THING, NATALYA.

- [whinnies]

- AAH!

- GUS?

AAAAAH!

[shouting]

- [grunting]

- NO! OH HO HO HO!

[loud banging]

Fred: WELL, THE GIANTS WILL BE KICKING OFF,

SO THE TIMBERWOLVES WILL BE--

- THEY'LL BE, UH, DOWN THERE ON THE FIELD RIGHT WITH THEM.

- RECEIVING! - THANK YOU.

Fred: ALL RIGHT, COMING TO GOOSE.

HE'S ON THE FIVE.

HE' SON THE 10, HE'S ON THE 15, HE'S AT--

HE'S AT THE 15, HE'S AT THE 10.

HE'S...BACK AT THE FIVE.

- OHH.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. COME ON, OFFENSE.

LET'S GO! LET'S DO IT! COME ON.

JOSH, OPEN UP RED-45.

GO, COME ON. RED-45. LET'S GO!

[cheers and applause]

- BREAK!

- HE'LL BE HERE.

HE WOULDN'T MISS THIS FOR THE WORLD.

- HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT, TOM.

- HE'LL BE FINE.

- PREPARE TO EAT DIRT!

- UHH!

- READY!

DOWN!

SET! HIKE, HIKE!

- RAHR!

[grunting]

- OHH.

Fred: AND A FUMBLE HELPED BY THE GIANTS.

AND INTO THE END ZONE, THE GIANTS SCORE, "O"-50.

- OH, WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE--WE'RE DEAD.

OHH.

Fred: WELL, LET'S LOOK AT THE SCOREBOARD

AND SEE HOW MUCH TIME ELAPSED THERE, PHIL,

BEFORE THAT TOUCHDOWN.

- WHERE IS THE SCOREBOARD? - HUH?

- OHH! [horse whinnying]

STOP!

COME ON, BABIES. WORK WITH ME!

[duck honking]

DUCKS ARE MY FRIEND!

COME BACK, PLEASE.

NO! OH, DOLLY! [chimp screeching]

OH! OH!

LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME, ANIMALS.

- [screeching]

- OH! NATALYA!

YOU'RE BACK.

OOF!

AAH!

[cheers and applause]

Fred: WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE COACH FANELLI

IS GOING TO TRY TO PUT SOME POINTS ON THE BOARD.

THEY'RE GONNA GO FOR A FIELD GOAL, PHIL.

- HIKE!

Fred: IT LOOKS LIKE VAUGHN KICKING AND...

- UHH!

Fred: NO, IT HIT WEEBLE'S HELMET,

AND IT'S WAY OFF TO THE LEFT.

WELL, I GUESS THAT WASN'T SUCH A GOOD DECISION AFTER ALL,

WAS IT, PHIL?

- I'LL TELL YOU, THAT COULD GIVE YOU

SOME KIND OF HEADACHE.

YOU KNOW, YOU GET HIT WITH A...

- AAAH!

[whimpering]

- HOLD ON!

WHERE ARE YOU, POPOV?

- AAH! [shouts in Russian]

- [barking]

- [honking]

- [grunting]

- YOU...

- [screeches]

I'LL GET YOU...

[clang] OH!

- [screeching]

[grunting]

Fred: JOSH BACK TO PASS. BALL IS IN THE AIR.

IT'S INTERCEPTED. NOWHERE NEAR RECEIVER.

AND HERE THEY COME BACK THE OTHER WAY, THE GIANTS.

BUT NO, JOSH HAS HIM. JOSH HAS HIM ON THE 25.

HE HAS HIM ON THE 20. HE HAS HIM ON THE 15.

HE HAS--HE HAS HIM ON THE TEN.

HE'S--AH, BOY.

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER SCORE FOR THE GIANTS.

OH, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN--

- AAH!

AAH!

[horse whinnies]

[crack]

[whoosh, whoosh] - EN GARDE!

TAKE THAT.

[grunting] AND THAT!

UNH!

AND THAT!

- NATALYA! TAKE THIS!

I'VE GOT A NET!

- NOT NOW, POPOV! CAN'T YOU SEE I AM BUSY?

I'M FIGHTING MONKEY!

- NATALYA!

[buzzing] MUST HAVE--MUST HAVE--

UHH!

GET OUT OF THE WAY!

NATALYA!

[fabric rips] AAH!

NATALYA! AAH!

AAH!

OH! AAH!

- COME DOWN! - NATALYA!

- GET DOWN FROM THERE!

- COME GET ME! - GET DOWN!

- AAH!

AAH!

- WHY DON'T YOU GET YOURSELF DOWN

AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS THAT YOU HAVE CREATED?

[crash]

- [groans]

- POPOV?

Fred: WELL, PHIL,

COACH FANELLI TAKES A HEAVY ANCHOR

THROUGH THE HALFTIME LOCKER ROOM.

DOWN 24 TO NOTHING.

DISAPPOINTED, DOWNTRODDEN...

[marching band playing on TV]

*

- HEY, COACH...

ARE YOU GONNA TELL US ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR STORIES?

- YOU BETTER BELIEVE I AM.

[all groan]

- THIS IS THE STORY OF A FOOTBALL TEAM.

FROM THE BEGINNING, THIS FOOTBALL TEAM

HAD HEART AND ABILITY.

BUT THERE WAS ONE BIG PROBLEM.

THEY DIDN'T BELIEVE...

THAT THEY COULD WIN.

AND THEN THIS DOG CAME ALONG.

AND THIS DOG COULD DO AMAZING THINGS.

AND SUDDENLY, THE TEAM STARTED WINNING.

BUT THE TRUTH IS...

EVEN WITHOUT THE DOG, THEY WERE WINNERS.

EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM.

SO IF YOU BELIEVE

THAT A DOG CAN PLAY FOOTBALL,

THEN YOU BETTER BELIEVE THAT WE'RE GONNA WIN THIS GAME.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, LET'S GET OUT THERE

AND GIVE THEM SOME OF THAT RAZZLE DAZZLE!

ROUGH.

ROUGH!

all: ROUGH!

ROUGH!

ROUGH! ROUGH!

ROUGH! ROUGH! ROUGH! ROUGH!

ROUGH! ROUGH! ROUGH! ROUGH! ROUGH!

[all cheering]

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. WAY TO GO, MARCO.

COME ON, BABY.

IT WORKED, BUDDY.

[laughing]

all, chanting: TIMBERWOLVES! TIMBERWOLVES!

TIMBERWOLVES! TIMBERWOLVES!

Fred: GIANTS ON THE ATTACK AGAIN.

HERE'S MARTIN, BACK TO PASS.

HE'S LOOKING-- OH, AND HE GETS HIT

JUST AT THE LAST MINUTE.

TOOK A LITTLE OFF THAT BALL!

GOOSE STEPS IN, HE HAS IT!

IT'S A INTERCEPTION.

- GO, GOOSE! GO! GO!

- THE 35!

- GO! GO! GO, GOOSE, GO!

- UHH! OOF!

[whistle blows] Fred: WELL!

THAT LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE BIT OF INSPIRATION

FOR THE OLD TIMBERWOLVES, DOESN'T IT?

Phil: IT JUST PROVES MY THEORY.

Fred: WHAT IS THAT, PHIL?

Phil: SCORE MORE POINTS THAN THE OTHER TEAM,

AND, BY GOLLY, YOU'RE GONNA WIN!

- ALL RIGHT! YEAH!

- UH...

- RIGHT, GO, GO.

[grunting]

[whistle blows] - UHH!

- UHH! - OOF!

[grunting]

- RAAAHR!

[grunting]

[squeaking]

[whistle blows]

[cheers and applause]

- YES! YEAH!

- THAT'S GREAT.

- POPOV? - UHH!

MOTHER?

[clanking]

AAH! THE ANIMALS!

- WHAT IS MONKEY'S BUSINESS?

- [barking]

- [squeaking]

- "FISH GUTS."

[rumbling]

OHH!

[Natalya and Popov sputtering]

- [screeching]

- [barking]

- NATALYA! GET UP!

GET UP!

[pigs squealing]

- OHH! OH!

- OHH. - AHH!

- TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!

[engine firing up]

- AHH.

- [gasps]

[honks horn]

- AAAAH!

- NO! - OHH!

- [barking]

[engine sputtering]

[truck beeping]

- GET THE VAN!

IT'S GOT THE VAN!

- [barks]

- AAH!

[tires screech]

[fireworks exploding]

- [barks]

[whistling and booming]

- [screeches]

[fireworks exploding]

- WHERE IS MONKEY? - I DON'T KNOW.

- [barking] - BUT THERE IS DOG.

both: DOG!

[muffled shouting]

- AHH!

[criminals shouting]

[tires screech]

[indistinct shouting]

[cackling] NOW WE'VE GOT HIM.

- YOU DID IT!

- OH, AH. WHOA.

WHAT? STOP! STOP!

STOP! STOP!

STOP!

[shouting]

STOP!

both: AAAAH!

[thud]

- [groans]

- [laughing]

IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.

I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU TOO.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN AT THE DOCKS?

DON'T YOU HAVE A GAME TO PLAY?

HUH?

COME ON.

[indistinct police radio chatter]

- DO YOU HAVE A PLAN "B"?

[metallic crash]

- WE ARE RUSSIAN CITIZENS!

WE DEMAND YOU TAKE US TO THE RUSSIAN IMBECILE!

- IT'S EMBASSY, IMBECILE!

[smack] - AAH!

- [crying]

[cheers and applause]

Fred: MARTIN DROPPING BACK.

VOSS--OH, IS HE IN THE CLEAR!

THERE ISN'T A TIMBERWOLF AROUND FOR 20 YARDS.

TOUCHDOWN!

LOOKS BAD NOW FOR THE OLD TIMBERWOLVES.

[audience groans]

OOH, EEH.

[cheers and applause]

- NOW, COME ON, NOW, FORGET ABOUT THAT.

ANCIENT HISTORY.

JOSH, JOSH, COME HERE. GET IN HERE.

COME HERE. ALL RIGHT.

WE'RE GONNA GET THEM WITH A LITTLE DOUBLE TROUBLE.

ALL RIGHT? LET'S GO!

BUT, COACH, WE'VE NEVER DONE A DOUBLE TROUBLE

WITHOUT BUDDY.

- WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO IT WITHOUT BUDDY.

BUDDY'S NOT HERE. NOW LET'S GO.

COME ON, OFFENSE. YOUSE TWOS, ALL RIGHT?

LET'S GO!

COME ON, NOW, GET OUT THERE!

[Buddy barking]

[cheers and applause]

Fred: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

LISTEN TO THAT AUDIENCE.

THIS IS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD!

IT'S AIR BUD!

- GOOD BOY. YEAH.

YEAH.

LET'S GO GET 'EM, BOY.

- [gasps]

Fred: THE OLD AIR BUD IS BACK IN THE GAME!

- YEAH, THIS DISPELS THAT RUMOR, HEH HEH.

Fred: WHAT'S THAT, BILL? - WHAT'S WHAT?

- BUDDY... WHERE WERE YOU?

- PATRICK?

audience, chanting: BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY!

BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY!

BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY!

- OOH, LIKE I SAID,

DOUBLE TROUBLE!

Fred: LOOKING FOR THAT BALL.

[grunting]

HANDOFF, DOUBLE REVERSE.

DOUBLE REVERSE AND...

IT'S OFF TO AIR BUD!

AND HE'S OFF!

HE'S DOWNFIELD!

THE GIANTS ARE ALL CHASING HIM.

AIR BUD IN THE CLEAR!

AIR BUD'S DOWN TO THE 30-YARD LINE!

[cheers and applause]

- YEAH!

- BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY!

BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY! BUD-DY!

[Buddy barks]

[cheers and applause]

[grunting]

- OOF!

- WAH!

[whistle blows]

Fred: OLD AIR BUD HAS SURE PUT THE TIMBER

BACK IN THESE TIMBERWOLVES.

I'M TELLING YOU, THEY'RE ON A SCORING RAMPAGE NOW!

[cheering]

- UH, HUH?

WHOA!

OOF! OOH!

[whistle blows] - FIRST DOWN!

- OOF! - OOF!

Fred: ANOTHER SCORE!

Phil: THAT IS JUST AMAZING.

Fred: IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE IN THE END ZONE

WITH AIR BUD.

- HE'S GOT FLEAS.

YOU CAN'T TELL ME HE DOESN'T HAVE FLEAS.

- YAY, BUDDY!

Fred: AIR BUD HAS CERTAINLY TIGHTENED UP THIS GAME

FOR THE TIMBERWOLVES.

BUT THEY'RE GONNA NEED ANOTHER TOUCHDOWN

IN ORDER TO WIN.

AND NOW... THIS COULD BE IT!

- BUDDY!

Fred: OHH, NO, 184-POUND CRUSHING TACKLE BY TYLER.

AND AIR BUD IS DOWN.

TEAMMATES RUSHING ONTO THE FIELD NOW, TRAINERS.

AIR BUD, WE SEE MOVEMENT.

- IT'S ALL RIGHT. DON'T WORRY, I'M ALL RIGHT.

GET THE DOG. - EXCUSE ME.

COMING THROUGH.

- HOW IS HE?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- IS HE OKAY? - JUST HANG ON.

- HE'S NOT SURE YET.

- BUDDY, ARE YOU OKAY?

- [whimpering]

- HE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, JOSH.

WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT THERE AND FINISH THE GAME.

- BUT WHAT ABOUT BUDDY?

- IT'S OKAY. I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM.

- GET UP, BUDDY, COME ON.

- COME ON, JOSH.

HE'LL BE OKAY.

- JOSH, LET'S GO.

- I HOPE HE'S OKAY.

Fred: WELL, THIS CERTAINLY IS A CRUSHING BLOW.

POOR AIR BUD, OUT OF THIS GAME.

- OH, I JUST--

- WELL, LET'S HOPE THAT THESE GUYS

CAN GO ON BY THEMSELVES.

- READY!

SET!

HIKE, HIKE!

[grunting]

- UHH!

[whistle blows]

- OH!

- THIRD DOWN COMING UP.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, PHIL? - WELL, I THINK THAT--

- THIRD DOWN, HE'S BACK FOR ANOTHER PASS.

Phil: HE'S GONNA PASS THERE. THAT'S WHAT.

- UHH!

[cheers and applause]

[grunting]

[audience groans]

- YEAH! - ALL RIGHT!

Fred: WELL, IF THERE'S A MIRACLE IN THE MAKING,

IT BETTER SHOW UP NOW, PHIL,

BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST CHANCE.

WE GOT TEN SECONDS LEFT IN THIS GAME.

- WELL, TEN IS ENOUGH IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT.

- YEAH, ISN'T IT, PHIL?

- SOMETIMES, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PLAY CARDS, YOU KNOW.

- YEAH...

- COME ON, TOM, GET UP. WE GOT A GAME TO PLAY.

- I CAN'T FIND MY NOSE SPREADER.

- FORGET ABOUT YOUR NOSE SPREADER, TOM.

- BUT I CAN'T CATCH WITHOUT IT.

- TRUST ME, TOM, YOU DON'T NEED IT.

[cheers and applause]

- IT'S GONNA BE FINE.

- THIS IS OUR LAST SHOT, JOSH.

- I KNOW.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S DO B-52, ALL RIGHT?

CROSSING PATTERN.

DEEP.

- THAT'S 60 YARDS.

YOU CAN'T THROW 60 YARDS.

- ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?

- I'M POSITIVE--YOU GUYS GOT TO TRUST ME, ALL RIGHT?

- WE'RE WITH YOU, JOSH. - YOU JUST RUN.

ALL RIGHT, ON TWO. READY...

- BREAK! - LET'S ROCK.

[Buddy barking] - HEY, GUYS, LOOK!

[cheers and applause]

- COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO. COME ON. PLAY.

- WHAT ABOUT MY NOSE SPREADER?

- [growling]

- WHEW.

- [barking]

- ALL RIGHT! READY!

B-52!

DOWN, SET, HIKE, HIKE!

[grunting]

- UHH!

- GET OFF!

- UHH!

- YEAH!

[whistle blows]

- YES!

- [barking]

[cheers and applause]

- WHOO! ALL RIGHT!

OH, HONEY, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

- CONGRATULATIONS, JOSH.

- [laughs]

- TOM, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GOT POTENTIAL.

- DID YOU HEAR THAT? I GOT POTENTIAL!

I GOT POTENTIAL!

I GOT POTENTIAL!

- AAH!

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

[seagulls calling]

[motor purring]

- PATRICK!

PATRICK!

PATRICK!

PATRICK!

- [barking]

- WHAT IS IT?

UM...

- WHAT?

- DON'T GO.

PLEASE DON'T GO.

[cheers and applause]

- THIRD AND THREE. WHAT WOULD YOU DO HERE?

- HUH, LET ME SEE.

I-I THINK I'D GO LONG TO JOEY GALLOWAY.

- BLUE-38!

- GOOD CALL.

THEY'RE NOT EXPECTING THAT.

- HMM.

[all grunting]

- [barking]

- OH, NO. - I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

[whistle blows]

[cheers and applause]

[surf rock instrumental]

*

* WHEN I WAS ALONE

* AND FRIGHTENED

* I ALWAYS FELT LIKE

* NO ONE WAS THERE

* IT SEEMED HOPELESS

* TO DREAM THAT SOMEONE

* WOULD EVER HOLD ME

* AGAIN

* ONE MOMENT

* WAS MORE THAN I NEEDED

* TO KNOW THAT I HAD

* FALLEN FOR YOU

* OH, I SAW SOMETHING

* THAT CHANGED ME FOREVER

* THE MOMENT I MET YOU

* I KNEW

* WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES

* ALL I SEE IS

* THE MAGIC OF YOUR SMILE

* AND UP ACROSS THE SKY

* WE WOULD TRAVEL THE MOONLIGHT *

* FOR MILES

* I WANT IT TO LAST ME

* MY LIFETIME AND THEN SOME *

* I NEED YOU TO WANT ME

* LA DA DA DA

* DOO DOO DOO

* HA AH

*

* JUST LIKE THAT

* LOVE HAS SURPRISED ME

* AND TAKEN ME OUT FOR THE RIDE OF MY LIFE *

* AND IT SURE FEELS IT

* WHENEVER YOU TOUCH ME

* PLEASE HOLD ME TILL THE END *

* OF MY LIFE

*

* WE WILL FOLLOW THE MOONLIGHT *

* FOR MILES

* I WANT IT

* TO LAST ME

* MY LIFETIME

* AND THEN SOME

* I NEED YOU TO WANT ME *

* LA DA DA

* DOO DOO DOO