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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 2 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,679 I've got loads, I've got loads of childhood memories, 3 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,671 but none of them are really good. 4 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,718 Erm, I don't think you remember the good stuff. 5 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,792 Being in the house, 6 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,598 Mum out in the pub, 7 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,399 or Mum comatosed in bed 8 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,948 and setting fire to the bedroom 9 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,600 to keep my brother and sister warm cos they was cold. 10 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,593 I can remember Lorraine setting the bedroom on fire. 11 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:07,153 And I were only young then. I were probably only about five. 12 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,869 But still to this day, if you talk about it to me aunties and stuff, 13 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,270 and they'll still say, "We don't know which one of yous it were." 14 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:18,638 And I'm like, "It weren't me!" Because I can actually remember it, to this day. 15 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,998 She were messing with matches and the mattress caught fire. 16 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,793 Back then you didn't have the double-glazing and stuff 17 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,030 that you get now. 18 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,394 The house was horrible; 19 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:35,713 no carpets, no central heating, locked in a room with no door handle. 20 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,599 And, erm... 21 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,879 ...standing at the window shouting for help. 22 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,793 You know, because the fire had got out of control. 23 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,710 But I think, I think... I don't know, I think it were actually me. 24 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,633 But when we'd shut the bedroom door, 25 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,759 the handle fell off the door on the inside so we couldn't get back out. 26 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,753 So, there were only the handle on the outside. 27 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,912 But I think it were me that actually broke that 28 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:10,516 because I think I started unscrewing it with a knife or summat. 29 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,716 Just being mad kids. 30 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,080 My mum used to take the door handles off. 31 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,993 She'd check in the bedroom there was no knives or forks 32 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,072 because if you got a knife or fork you could put the handle in 33 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,275 to get out of the door. 34 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,792 And, erm, we never used to get out of the room 35 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,917 until Mum was up and she was ready 36 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,117 to sort of release us from our prison, if you like. 37 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,315 I can actually remember me mum when we lived at Edge End Gardens. 38 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,631 I can always remember her staying up late writing. 39 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,711 Well, now I know what it were, 40 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,031 but when we were kids, we never knew what she were doing. 41 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:56,511 But she used to stay up late and just write and write and write and write. 42 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,388 She'd have, like, A4 sheets of paper, just loads of them on the bed. 43 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,995 And then, cos I can remember Andrew once pulled 'em off her bed 44 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,993 and she had to re-sort them out and put them back in order. 45 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:21,553 I can just remember banging and banging and banging on the window, 46 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,312 trying to get out. 47 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,118 There were a woman that lived about two doors down 48 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,792 and she were a bus driver. 49 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:42,111 Well, it were her husband who got a ladder up to the back window 50 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,997 and got us out of the window. 51 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:49,200 I can remember me mum... Oh, she were going stir crazy. 52 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:53,910 It were... It were mad. That were mad, that were. 53 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,429 Mum was never a touchy feely person 54 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,080 and she didn't give us cuddles or tell us she loved us 55 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,878 and she didn't give us kisses. 56 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,714 We got clouts around the head and smacks all the time and shouted at, 57 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:11,949 that was it. 58 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:16,397 Erm, and regardless of what all my family seem to think, 59 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,711 the sexual abuse was from somebody they knew. 60 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,235 I don't know whether she didn't believe it 61 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,197 or she just didn't want to believe it, 62 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:29,478 but she still left me in a position where it got repeated again. 63 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,158 Can I forgive her? 64 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,917 If she was alive today, I'd have a lot to say to her. 65 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,753 One of the reasons I hated her was cos I couldn't tell her 66 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:50,709 exactly how I felt as a child and the way she brought me up. 67 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,837 Erm, so, no, I can't forgive her. 68 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,832 Andrea Dunbar is 18 years old. 69 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,558 When she was 15 70 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,632 she wrote a play set in Bradford, where she was brought up. 71 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,709 Through friends, 72 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,917 the play was sent to the Royal Court Theatre in London, 73 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,629 where it's now having a successful run in the theatre upstairs. 74 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:03,318 Max Stafford-Clark is directing the play, Andrea's first, 75 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,119 as part of the Young People's Theatre Festival. 76 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:12,714 Well, I'd just become Artistic Director of The Royal Court. 77 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:16,588 So I read the plays submitted to the Young Writers' Festival, 78 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,353 and one outstanding one was in fact 79 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:23,718 The Arbor, Andrea's first play, which was written in green ink, 80 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,509 on a school exercise book which had been... The pages had been ripped out. 81 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,716 I'm going to bed. I'll see you when I get in. 82 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,554 - Why won't you tell me who it is? - Because I don't want to. 83 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,198 - OK, it's your life. Do what you want. - Don't worry, I will. 84 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,748 But don't run to me when people start calling you. 85 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,354 I'm a big girl now. I can look after myself. 86 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,432 - Do what you want. - I will, don't worry. 87 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,839 So I met Andrea 88 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,992 and it was an extraordinary first interview with a writer, 89 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:53,709 who at that point was staying in a battered wives home in Keighley. 90 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:58,191 She'd never been out of Yorkshire before, never been in a theatre. 91 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:05,437 Nowadays, people want to face up with what's actually happening. 92 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,272 Cos it's actually what's said. 93 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,636 And you write what's said. You don't lie. 94 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,190 If you write about something that's happened, you're not gonna lie 95 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:17,397 and say, "It didn't happen," when it did all the time. 96 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,719 The Arbor by Andrea Dunbar. 97 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,389 As soon as you earn enough money you can get out. 98 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,914 Fuck off! You're the one that needs kicking out. 99 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,911 Get out of my sight before I kill you. 100 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,276 You hit me and I'll hit you back and you'll get it off David an' all. 101 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,679 He won't be able to hit me. 102 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,399 If you don't shut up you won't be here much longer. 103 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,516 - I'll go now, if you want. - Fuck off then. 104 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,511 No, you get out. 105 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:42,828 No, you won't, will you? 106 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,593 You know nobody'd have you cos you're no fucking good. 107 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,557 Oh, shut up. 108 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,872 She's more like me than not. 109 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,235 I wrote more or less about my feelings. 110 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,836 I called the play The Arbor 111 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:03,118 because the street I lived on 112 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,953 is called Brafferton Arbor. 113 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,315 It's always known as the Arbor 114 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:13,554 and a lot of these things actually happened on the street. 115 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,994 They used to have a pen thing in the middle. 116 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,036 That were full of glass. 117 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,271 There'd be people having bonfires on the field. 118 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:33,912 They did make you feel welcome though. They were friendly people, but... 119 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,798 It's like me Uncle Tony, he used to be one of the ones 120 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,919 that used to sit round the fire and have a drink 121 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,470 and they'd throw potatoes on it and stuff like that. 122 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,788 It were all mad. 123 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,190 Even I used to sit round fires with them when we were younger. 124 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,675 "Dear Max, I'm sending you the bit of writing I've done." 125 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,159 "It's not much, really." 126 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,357 "That's because I've had to take Lorraine out of the nursery." 127 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,590 "They moved her up to a class with other kids 128 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,638 and it upset her so much I had to take her out." 129 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,188 "Now I don't get much of a chance to write." 130 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:28,592 "But if I could, I'd like to come down to London so I can get most of it done." 131 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,352 "I could leave Lisa at my mother's 132 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,910 and I could always bring one of my younger sisters to watch Lorraine, 133 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,673 while I write. Let me know what you think." 134 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,957 "I would really like to get it done. Andrea." 135 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,511 The Arbor. Act 1, Scene 6. 136 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,949 - Hurry up, it's the police. 137 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:54,553 Stop the car. I want to get out. 138 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,790 Don't look round at them. Just act normal. 139 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,950 I want to get out. Tell 'em, Billy, to stop. 140 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,712 Do you want them to catch you? 141 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,836 When we get round this corner, jump out. 142 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,114 I'm not, I'm pregnant. 143 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,509 No, she's not. And you'd better not be, either. 144 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,073 Tell him to slow down a bit. 145 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,798 I can't, they're catching us. 146 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,393 Slow down, please. 147 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,675 I'm gonna try to pull up. Get ready to jump. 148 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:22,878 They pull up and the girl is left in the car, which rolls into a snicket. 149 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,996 The policeman comes up to the girl. 150 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,513 - Right, come on, get out. - Don't talk bloody silly. 151 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,592 How can I get out when the car door is jammed in the lamp-post? 152 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:36,639 Well, get out this side then. And hurry up, I haven't got all night. 153 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,836 Give me a fucking chance, will you, man? 154 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:41,748 - What's your name? - Why? 155 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,512 - Because I want to know. - I dunno. 156 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,716 You mean you're not gonna tell me? 157 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,870 Give me a minute, it'll come back to me. 158 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,791 - Are you trying to be funny? - No. 159 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,519 - So what's your name? - I think it's Andrea. 160 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,115 - What do you mean you think? - Alright, alright. It's Andrea Dunbar. 161 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,395 - Right, and where do you live? - Up there. 162 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,199 - Up where? - Up there on the Arbor. 163 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,035 - Right, well, get in that car. - What for? 164 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,315 Because I said so, that's why. 165 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,228 It was notorious. 166 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,757 It was known as the toughest estate in, you know, in Bradford. 167 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:22,516 Buttershaw, and then the Arbor was the toughest street. 168 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,670 But not any more. Look at it now. 169 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,710 "Dear Max, here are some re-writes and a scene of me and Yousaf." 170 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,438 "Hope you like it." 171 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,353 "I think it's better talking to each other on the way 172 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,876 rather than in the house. Hope it doesn't matter." 173 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:51,272 "But I like it better. Will send you some more this week." 174 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,238 I wish I could have gone to school. I've never been. 175 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:58,632 Look at me now, I can't read, I can't write 176 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,836 and I can't get a job because of it. 177 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:04,629 I've got to work in textiles so I don't do any kind of writing. 178 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,553 People laugh at you when you say you can't read or write. 179 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,596 Ask 'em what they're laughing at. 180 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,638 They don't realise you come from a poor country. 181 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,870 They don't know what poor means over here. 182 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,032 In Pakistan, you can't say you're going on social security 183 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,998 or going to scratch on. They haven't got such places. 184 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,435 Will you carry these bags for me? They're heavy. 185 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,951 Act 2, Scene 2. 186 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:48,828 The girl's brother, aged 11 years, has just been killed in a car accident. 187 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,638 The father has already got over it 188 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,790 but the rest of the family are still upset. 189 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,839 The father's drunk. They're all sat watching TV. 190 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:01,232 I can't get over it, Mother. I'll kill that bastard that killed my brother. 191 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,357 Stop going on about it. He's dead, it won't bring him back. 192 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,477 Shut up, Dad. Don't argue with him, you know what'll happen. 193 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,471 David, you're upsetting your mother. 194 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:13,599 I'll thump that bastard in a minute. His son's dead and he ain't bothered. 195 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,875 What kind of a father is that? Can you tell me? 196 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,916 Take no notice. You know what he's like. 197 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,959 Will you all just shut your fucking mouths now? I've heard enough. 198 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,029 Enough! 199 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,236 Well, he's dead. Dead, do you hear that? 200 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,515 Can't you get it through your bastard head? 201 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,875 You know what'll happen if you talk like this. 202 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,791 - Don't ask for my help. - He's dead. 203 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,678 You'll be dead, you thoughtless fucking bastard. 204 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,070 It's your son that's dead. Your son is laid dead in that hospital 205 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,559 and you don't fucking care. 206 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,438 You're not a man, you're a thoughtless fucking animal. 207 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:43,999 - Shut up. - Do you wanna fight? 208 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,752 - I don't. - Well, shut up then. 209 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:49,196 - I cared for him, you know. - I said shut up. 210 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,670 Look, I won't tell you again. Have you seen what you're doing to her? 211 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,193 - Who? - Mother. 212 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,078 You two better stop it before you end up fighting. 213 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,470 - Keep out of it, you black bastard! - There's no need for that. 214 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,552 Just get out of here and don't come back again 215 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:07,713 or I'll smash them fucking black brains out of that fucking black head of yours! 216 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,872 - I didn't ask to be a Paki. - Well, just keep your mouth shut. 217 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,918 - Keep out of my arguments. - Stop it, David. 218 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,753 You know what he's like. He don't care about owt, 219 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,230 only his beer and his so-called fucking mates down the pub. 220 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,436 Oh, fuck off! 221 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,590 Don't you ever say that to her again. 222 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,636 Leave him alone, David. 223 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,995 He deserves it. 224 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,274 Come on. 225 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,116 I think it must have been hard for her 226 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,668 to have a mixed-race child on a... 227 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:57,709 on a whole-white and very racist estate. 228 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,791 Erm... 229 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,472 But you know, she, er... 230 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,074 She could have done a better job than what she did. 231 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,470 It was the consequences of her actions, not mine. 232 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,755 You know, she slept with an Asian man, not me. 233 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,355 I didn't ask to be conceived. I didn't ask to be born. 234 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,274 Quite frankly, I'd have rather not been born if I knew what I were coming into. 235 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,316 Take your fucking hands off me. Fuck off! 236 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,516 I can fucking walk on my own. 237 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,835 I got locked up that night through it. 238 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,433 I were gonna kill him. 239 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,114 He wasn't bothered. I had to get in the police car. 240 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,715 They put me in and I got back out. I still remember that. 241 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:50,792 Our Andrea moved out. That were the day our Steven got killed. 242 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,518 She moved out and she went to live 243 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,114 with Yousaf, Lorraine's dad, 244 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,589 and that's how she got caught with her then. 245 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,033 I didn't like him, me. When I found out, I were gonna kill him. 246 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:11,955 I'm not racist, but I just couldn't do with Pakistanis. 247 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:16,158 In them days, you just didn't agree with it. Know what I mean? 248 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,789 And I didn't think Andrea would ever do owt like that. 249 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:25,352 And she said, "Oh, he's alright. He isn't like the other things." 250 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:29,228 But he didn't seem that bad. Once you got to know him, he were alright. 251 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,596 And if you were black in Buttershaw and you were a Pakistani, 252 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,433 you'd have got driven out of your home. 253 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,909 Now it doesn't matter now, does it? 254 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,398 Act 2, Scene 6. 255 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,438 The lads are sat on a wall talking about the girl. 256 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,590 Fucking Paki lover. 257 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,592 Look at her. You dirty girl! Dirty! 258 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,752 Oh, go on, carry on. I don't give a fuck what you think about me. 259 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,877 Hey, I don't give a fuck what you think about me. 260 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,952 - Carry on. Look who's here. - What's wrong? 261 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,032 These wanna know why I'm going out with a Paki. 262 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,156 What's it got to do with you what she does? 263 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,038 - Why do you go out with white lasses? - Better than a Paki. 264 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,473 It's up to her what she does. 265 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,757 Don't you tell her otherwise or I'll beat your fucking brains in. 266 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,876 What's it got to do with any of yous anyway? 267 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,116 Tell her, or I'll throw you over the wall. 268 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,679 We wanted to go out with you. 269 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,674 What, all fucking seven of you? What do you think she is, a fucking robot? 270 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:27,749 Well, you asked. 271 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,638 Don't bother. They're the fuck-it-and-leave-it type. 272 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:31,869 - We're not. - You are. 273 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,349 - Fuck off before I belt you. - She's a Paki lover! 274 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,000 You'll get your fucking neck broken next time. 275 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,195 You're not big enough. 276 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,952 Yeah, you fucking bastard. 277 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:45,157 You make me sick, all of you. 278 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,755 - You make me fucking sick. - Take no notice of them. 279 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,229 The more you argue, the more they'll have a go. 280 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,958 Come inside. 281 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,711 I bet everybody was shocked, her having an Asian baby. 282 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,756 Not being funny, I don't think they were 283 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,593 into Asians in them days as well. 284 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,238 Everywhere you're gonna go... 285 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,834 They call us white trash and... 286 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:14,233 I don't personally, but other whites, some whites, the bad whites, give them, 287 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,517 call them, "Black bastards, get back to your own country." 288 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,238 And I don't think it's right, me. 289 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,756 Act 2, Scene 5. The girl getting pregnant. 290 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,035 The next day, the girl went to the doctor's. 291 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,395 She didn't ask the doctor for an abortion. 292 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,710 She was 14 weeks pregnant. 293 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,872 The girl walked into the house. Yousaf was waiting for her. 294 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,596 - Is he gonna let you have an abortion? - He said I can't. 295 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,353 Bastard, he is. The white fuck. 296 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,351 The doctor won't give you an abortion 297 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,556 unless you've got a reason not to want it. 298 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,995 Can't you tell them the father's fucked off? 299 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,798 That's not a good enough reason. 300 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,228 What's that in your hand? 301 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,869 Oh, it's a letter from the hospital for some tablets. 302 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,793 - Tablets? What are they for? - Headaches. 303 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,436 - I know how to make you get rid of it. - How? 304 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,273 By pulling you off a chair when you're not expecting it. 305 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:08,920 - What makes you think that'll work? - I know it will. 306 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,230 My friend did it to June and she lost her baby. 307 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:15,359 - That doesn't mean it'll happen to me. - If it don't, I'll find another way. 308 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,396 Why can't I just have it? 309 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,516 - It's better you didn't. - Why not? 310 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,148 Because you won't be able to go to work. 311 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,673 Yeah, I know. So? 312 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,355 - Where will you get the money from? - You, where do you think? 313 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,954 You're not getting any money off me. I need mine. 314 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:42,948 Well, what if I got a childminder and I went back to work myself? 315 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,756 Alright. I'll let you have it on one condition: 316 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,751 That when the baby's three months old, 317 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,513 you'll get a childminder and go back to work. 318 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,033 Alright then, you're on. 319 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:02,032 Well, she moved in with him, did our Andrea. And then, 320 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:06,671 it got to the stage he were tying her up. 321 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,719 You know, to a chair, so she couldn't get out. 322 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,678 Then, this particular day, somebody knocked at the door, 323 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:17,912 he answered the door and that's how she got away. And that's when she left him. 324 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:24,156 They know me as Lorraine. The little white girl. 325 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,471 As far as they're concerned, the only Pakistani I've got in me is, 326 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,632 my mum slept with a Pakistani but I'm not Pakistani. 327 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:36,352 Erm, there's absolutely no logic in that, but that's the way they see it. 328 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:42,913 You know, you don't have to be... English to be part of a family. 329 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,554 You know, I can be Muslim and still be theirs. 330 00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,828 We've lived here for about ten years. 331 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,399 Who's that? Pamela? 332 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,469 Yeah, nine or ten anyway. 333 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:58,549 My granddad. 334 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,437 We don't all live here now. 335 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,911 There were ten of us all together, nine now. 336 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,118 And have any other of the children ever written anything? 337 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,758 No. 338 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,798 What do you feel about Andrea writing a play? 339 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:14,949 I'm proud of her. 340 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,916 Mr Dunbar, where do you think she gets the writing from? 341 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,560 - Why do you think... - Not from me certainly. 342 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,315 I don't know, it's just what she learnt in school, I should imagine. 343 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:39,912 Well, I suppose the film began when we'd had about three previews. 344 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,519 More or less for the press. 345 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,388 So, this bloke Oscar Lewinstein came along to see it. 346 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,595 He'd rung and asked me 347 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,831 if I'd be interested in making it into a screenplay. 348 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,469 I mean, I think you're thankful for the play 349 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,791 and then somebody comes and asks you to do a screenplay. 350 00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,552 All sorts goes through your head. 351 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,269 My husband is not a bastard. It's your daughter and her mates. 352 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:04,952 Are you satisfied now? 353 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,873 Will you stop blaming me? It's as much your fault. 354 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:08,995 It's all of you. 355 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,069 It's your husband. 356 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,311 It's your daughter. If it's on a plate he's gonna take it. 357 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,595 He wouldn't be a man if he did owt else. 358 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,513 Don't blame us till you find out what's been going on. 359 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,034 Go on, Kevin, just you tell 'em. 360 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,998 Up the IRA! 361 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:28,198 Don't you stick your oar in or I'll fucking flatten you, bastard. 362 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:29,998 You tell him, man, you tell him. 363 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,914 It's all your fault. If you had sex with him, he wouldn't have to go elsewhere. 364 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,479 Keep your mouth shut. 365 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:39,712 Well, is that what you've been saying? You dirty bastard. 366 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,030 See what you've caused? Now you've done it. 367 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:45,829 - Oh, get fucked, will ya? - I'll fuck you in a minute. 368 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,992 Send them on Manningham Lane. It's the best place for 'em. 369 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:50,399 It's best place for you. 370 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,948 What gave you the idea for the film? 371 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:54,553 Was it personal experiences 372 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,870 or just viewing life on the estate or what? 373 00:24:56,960 --> 00:25:03,354 Parts of it was and... parts wasn't. 374 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,237 But you sort of see... 375 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,676 You see things happening on an estate, wherever you live. 376 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,832 I mean, I don't find it shocking to write about it. 377 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,196 I have had a few reactions 378 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,431 but I don't think it's nothing to worry about. 379 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:23,594 You know, I've only had, you know like about three people complain. 380 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,716 It's not bad off a whole estate, is it? 381 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,429 At one time she was living at Keighley. 382 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:43,308 But she didn't live there for long. As she said, "I'll be back." 383 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,118 You know, to Buttershaw. 384 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,039 That's when she met Lisa's dad, that's how she got caught with Lisa. 385 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:55,073 Because they've all different fathers, haven't they? 386 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,311 Oh, me mum must have picked some right saddos, I swear down. 387 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,638 Men twice her age or near enough. 388 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:11,394 Jim and my dad were round about the same age. They're 50-summat. 389 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:24,550 Me and Andrea went out for about, how long? Six years. 390 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,269 And had a child called Andrew. 391 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:31,557 Erm, took it from there, really. 392 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,349 She wanted to stay down and live with me 393 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,910 and we tried that and she says no, 394 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:43,994 she wanted her own house because she had Lisa and Lorraine. 395 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,638 He's a strange sort of character is Jim. 396 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:59,709 Because I never thought of him as a bad person when we were younger, at all. 397 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,313 I mean if he used to tell us off, 398 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,119 I mean, obviously we didn't like him then. 399 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,718 Wiggy. We all called him Wiggy. 400 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:17,356 He weren't a bad lad. I think he helped Andrea out more than owt else. 401 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:23,749 I don't know if you know Jim. Well, he was, erm, he were a twat with kids. 402 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:29,119 What he used to do with them is dump 'em off, stick 'em in his car, 403 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:33,478 put their clothes in a bin liner and drop 'em off at me sister's 404 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,996 and then just drive off. Not say, "I've dropped the kids off." 405 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:41,358 That were only Lorraine and Lisa. It weren't Andrew. 406 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,511 It were just them two all the time. 407 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,948 Where our house were, you could see the bus stop. 408 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,679 Sometimes you'd see 'em stood there with bin liners 409 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,079 cos Jim had kicked 'em out. 410 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,277 They were having to go back up to their auntie's at Buttershaw. 411 00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:59,794 Ann and Steve, when we lived with Jim, 412 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,552 they used to live across the road. 413 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,313 Ann must've thought we was crazy, cos all she could see 414 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,960 were these three kids waving out of the window. 415 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,554 We were always in the house, we didn't play out. 416 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,428 I don't know how, but we started going over there and I loved it. 417 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:18,036 I didn't get called golliwog, had lovely food, got cooked for, 418 00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:20,839 had loads of area to play, loads of toys. 419 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:26,355 We were always over there every day, straight from school on a weekend, 420 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,432 probably sleep there all the time. 421 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,114 Well, in my eyes, I classed them as me family anyway. 422 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,556 So, they're always there, no matter what. 423 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:39,830 I see them as just like my mum and dad. 424 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,512 They've always been there for me 425 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,158 and I've always gone on holiday 426 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,800 with Ann and Steve, over the years. 427 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,350 Erm, yeah, they've played a very big part in my life. 428 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,111 And they always used to say to me, 429 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,839 "You're gonna grow up to be such a pretty young lady." 430 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,150 They says, "You're so pretty." 431 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:05,074 And I used to think, "They don't know what they're talking about." 432 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:09,039 They was right, I grew up to be very pretty. 433 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:13,033 And, erm, they've been there for me ever since. 434 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,634 I remember Mum fighting with Jim all the time. 435 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,713 Getting stiletto shoes and proper clawing him with 'em. 436 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:26,156 Erm, I vaguely remember her falling through a glass window 437 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,471 and having all them stitches in her face. 438 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,437 Yeah, that happened down at Great Horton Road. 439 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,877 She were absolutely stone-eyed. 440 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,069 I was looking after Lisa and Andrew. 441 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,515 Her and Jim was out at the pub, as usual. 442 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,238 Erm... 443 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,756 And I heard it from upstairs. Came running down. 444 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,751 I can't remember how many stitches she had, but she had loads. 445 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:07,996 She tripped over and fell straight into the bottom pane of glass. 446 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,071 Cut her face and everything. 447 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:15,029 I phoned the ambulance and we got it all in, sorted it out. 448 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,749 Back then as a child, I knew she drank a lot. 449 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,115 If she could spend every single day in the pub, 450 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,794 she would spend every single day in the pub. 451 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:37,476 Today, as an adult, I'd say she was an alcoholic. 452 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:42,475 She wasn't functioning, she was just an alcoholic. You know, she was very sick. 453 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:48,594 That's where I spent my small years, in the pub. 454 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,148 The Beacon, Cap and Bells. 455 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:56,435 With my mum. If anybody left a drink, I'd drink 'em. 456 00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:00,479 You know, just all the little lager and blacks that were left over. 457 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:01,675 Boring. 458 00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:02,909 You know, if I was lucky 459 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,310 I'd get 20p and I'd go to the shop and buy a packet of custard creams. 460 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,631 Best Buy custard creams used to be 19 pence. I'll never forget it. 461 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,677 She used to go to the pub in the afternoon as well 462 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,797 and this little old man Willie used to come pick us up to school 463 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,155 and then go back to Jim's. 464 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,550 So, I wouldn't say that she liked to drink as much 465 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,790 as what people tried to make out. 466 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,917 You see stuff in the papers, it were drink that killed her, 467 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,070 but it wasn't the drink that killed her. 468 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,913 It were just one of them things that happens. 469 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,072 I'm not like Willie. 470 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,833 Rita, Sue and Bob Two... Three. 471 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,389 She were like my dad, dinnertime, nights. 472 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:51,519 Come home dinnertime, sleep, back out at night. 473 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,512 Oh, yeah, but she did that for years. 474 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,597 Every day. 475 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,434 We used to say, "I don't know how you do it. A young lass like you." 476 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,353 Especially with her having kids an' all. 477 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,715 Yeah, she liked her drinks. 478 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,999 She ended up with a lot of friends when she got a bit of money out of the film. 479 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,036 She didn't get that much really, 480 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,591 but she had a lot of cling-ons. Cos them days, no one had nowt. 481 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,040 I remember it when we first moved on. 482 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,076 Grass ain't like it were now. 483 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:36,994 It used to be... Well, the council didn't cut it as much. 484 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,789 So it used to be right tall and all kids could hide in it. 485 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,509 I mean, I can even remember myself when my mum used to shout us. 486 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:46,238 And we dug down in the grass. 487 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,358 It was a red-hot sunny day. 488 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:57,274 Erm, and the grass was all way overgrown and stuff. 489 00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,511 We'd been playing hide and seek and my Auntie Pamela shouted, 490 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,558 "Lorraine, it's your dad. Lorraine, it's your dad." 491 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:07,030 And, erm... I was happy. 492 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,914 And he wanted to take me for the weekend. 493 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,555 I think we were all shocked when he turned up. 494 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,437 He asked Andrea if he could take her, 495 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,830 you know, for the day, and she said no. 496 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,469 She said, "You're not taking her, just in case you ran off with her." 497 00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:03,475 He bought me loads of clothes and when we got to Jim's, 498 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,199 Mum just ripped them all up, cut them up. 499 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,829 She said, "I'm not having my daughter dressed as no Paki." 500 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:11,353 And, er, ripped the lot up 501 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,956 because it was, like, velvet dresses with frills on and stuff. 502 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,759 My dad promised he'd come every weekend after that, 503 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,354 and every weekend I used to look out of the window 504 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,237 and every weekend he never come. 505 00:34:33,720 --> 00:34:36,712 "Dear Max, I'm sorry about the other agreements 506 00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,394 but to be honest I really forgot about them." 507 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,948 "I have to move them out of the way of the kids." 508 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,350 "Lisa seems to have a fascination for them and hides them." 509 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:46,998 "No, I'm not still with Jim." 510 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,514 "I haven't got much time for him any more." 511 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,558 "Anyway, I've got so used to doing what I want to do 512 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:56,428 that I'd rather not have someone around to try and tell me I should." 513 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,159 "He was always saying, 'Do this, do that."' 514 00:34:59,240 --> 00:35:03,870 "I never did like that, but that's besides the point. Love, Andrea." 515 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:08,595 Keith, they called him. Keith. 516 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,119 He were nice to the kids. He had time for the kids 517 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,350 and she'd known him for quite a long time, 518 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:18,831 but sort of picked up with him when she fell out with Jim. 519 00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,992 I don't know what the falling-out were about, you know. 520 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,833 He was a stable influence. 521 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:29,471 Yeah, and she seemed better in herself. Her confidence levels were better. 522 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,274 Mum had come home drunk. She was with Keith then. 523 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,999 We wasn't living with Jim. 524 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,550 And she come in and she opened the door, just Mum being Mum. 525 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:50,315 And, erm, she thought I was asleep. 526 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,278 I heard my mum every single time she come home. I was aware. 527 00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,676 I just... I pretended I was still asleep 528 00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,228 cos I might have got in trouble if I was awake. 529 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:04,758 And, erm, they was talking about me, Lisa and Andrew, 530 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,229 and just from nowhere, I just, erm... 531 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,999 Well, she just said that she'd regretted having me. 532 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,399 That... 533 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,874 And she'd regretted sleeping with an Asian man. 534 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:21,873 She couldn't love me to the same level that she loved Lisa and Andrew. 535 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,796 Might have been innocent on Mum's part, 536 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:31,590 but it was portrayed as very racist on my part, 537 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,070 considering I was the only one that had colour. 538 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:39,472 You know, so, erm... You can't say you love two kids more than another. 539 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:53,877 She didn't write a play for about seven months. 540 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:59,512 She didn't want to know anything. She just totally left it. 541 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:03,912 She was depressed and things were catching on. 542 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,950 Everybody getting on to her. 543 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:16,311 Well, she couldn't sleep and she did, she used to phone me up and say, 544 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:20,359 "Look, I can't sleep." And I'd say, "Look, do you want me to come up?" 545 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:26,037 And I used... She says, "Yeah." So I used to go up and stay the night, 546 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:32,389 sleep with her and she used to calm down. Cuddle up, calm down. 547 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,675 And that were it and then she slept. 548 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,274 That week before she died she'd come here and say, 549 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,670 "Have you got any tablets?" And I'd say, "What for?" 550 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,159 She said, "Headache." 551 00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:04,550 She said, "I've got this headache and I can't get shut of it." 552 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,477 And that were it with her. I thought... 553 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,911 Cos we were really shocked that day she died. 554 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,833 Yeah, that day, when she died, yeah. 555 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,309 She asked me to go to the pub with her and I said no. 556 00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,277 And, you know, I wish I had've done. 557 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:34,190 Erm, I think she collapsed in the Beacon pub. 558 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,317 I don't think she actually died in the Beacon pub. 559 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,231 I think, well, she might've done. 560 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,709 But they pronounced her dead at the hospital, 561 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:46,032 erm, some hours later, or it was some hours later before we found out. 562 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,677 But she died in her home, didn't she, the Beacon pub? 563 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:52,990 She practically lived there anyway. 564 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,475 And it were some sort of embolism. 565 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:19,680 Totally unrelated to, erm, to any drink or owt like that. 566 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,557 I went in to see her, with the kids. 567 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:34,476 And we were talking and I saw a little, 568 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:39,680 oh, it gives me tears now, eye drop running down from her eye, 569 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,957 and I said, "Andrew, your mum's crying." 570 00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,634 He says, "No." I said, "There, tears." 571 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,438 And he says, "Oh, yeah, yeah." 572 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:52,036 I said, "You know, your mum knows you now, she sees you, she can hear you." 573 00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,759 And that were it, really. 574 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:16,554 She'd died and she hadn't bought us one Christmas present. 575 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,278 I was so angry. 576 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,433 Not one single Christmas present. It was only five days before Christmas. 577 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:27,548 She had the audacity to drop dead, so I can't even tell her how I feel. 578 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,755 To this day I won't have anybody say a bad word against me mum. 579 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:41,756 No way. Lorraine does, but I think part of it is because she does miss her, 580 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:46,479 but she's got a mad way of showing it. 581 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,313 I don't recall crying at my mum's funeral. 582 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:57,073 Not at all. 583 00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:01,597 Erm, I can just remember thinking, "It's over." 584 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:06,032 You know, that's it, things can only get better now. 585 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,832 Have you read the play or are you going to see it? 586 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:53,194 No, I haven't read it. No. 587 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:57,751 But are you all going down to London to see it? 588 00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:01,037 Well, the wife is and my other daughter Pamela, 589 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:02,792 but I'm at home with the children. 590 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:06,190 Mrs Dunbar, have you read it or will it be a surprise? 591 00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:07,474 I've read it. 592 00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:11,553 So it won't be so much of a surprise when you see it? 593 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,315 No, but it'll, you know, be summat different, won't it? 594 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,719 Do you hope Andrea will write more plays? 595 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,872 Yes, I hope she'll make a success of herself. 596 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:27,399 I think she wrote with great wit and great perception 597 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,835 about the things happening round her. 598 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:34,675 It's a tragedy that she never wrote the plays of her maturity, comparatively. 599 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:42,031 I think after Christmas, that's when they sat us down 600 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:47,797 and asked us who we wanted to be with and where we wanted to stay. 601 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,077 Obviously I'd always been close to me grandma anyway, 602 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:54,755 so I decided that I wanted to be with me grandma. 603 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,558 Andrew wanted to be with his dad 604 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,438 and Lorraine went to live with my Auntie Janine. 605 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,717 Cos they used to get, like, moved. 606 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:08,074 Erm, like, we were moved about a bit, really, as kids. 607 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:09,673 Erm... 608 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:15,918 But that's probably why I don't remember much of me childhood, really. 609 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:25,239 Everything was weird, and then I got separated from Lisa and Andrew 610 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:26,958 and that was odd. 611 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:31,556 Being the person that had looked after them for so many years, it was hard. 612 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,310 My Auntie Janine, she was what, 18? 613 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,437 I was 11 years old so there was only seven years' difference. 614 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:46,078 I used to go down to the Woodside Estate just next door to Buttershaw. 615 00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,913 Had some friends there. There's a guy that I fancied. 616 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:53,357 I wanted to be big and hard and show him that I could be grown up and stuff. 617 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:54,873 Erm... 618 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,994 And I started smoking bong buckets. 619 00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,594 I couldn't bear it there no longer. 620 00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:06,911 I tried self-harming, I've still got the scar for it. 621 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:11,755 I took two overdoses and said, "No, I'm not going back." 622 00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:16,470 And Steve and Ann agreed to foster me. 623 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,475 Life got great. 624 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,948 I can't remember if she were 12 or 13. 625 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:31,077 One day Steven's mum and dad were babysitting. 626 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,991 When we come home she'd done a runner. 627 00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:36,117 Blown, had Lorraine, gone, back up to Buttershaw. 628 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:37,189 And she said, 629 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:38,918 "My auntie's gonna do my bedroom 630 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,355 and do this and that and give me this and that." 631 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:44,910 So off she went and I went, "Well, fair enough." So off she went back up. 632 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:48,117 And then, again, she took another overdose or something 633 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,351 and social services brought her back down here again. 634 00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:56,958 So, then they said, "Well, she obviously doesn't want to go back there." 635 00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,430 "She has a choice of either going in a home or, well, 636 00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,078 do you want to look after her?" 637 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,630 So, she said, "Yeah, I want to stop here." So we said, "Yeah." 638 00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:08,830 By the time I went to live with Ann and Steve, 639 00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:12,799 I was smoking cannabis every weekend. I used to get spending money and stuff. 640 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,873 I used to be in the park drinking with all the lads. 641 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:18,279 I had short back and sides. 642 00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,999 I wasn't into feminine things because that's not, 643 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:24,311 that's not what I knew. But I soon learnt. 644 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:32,868 Act 2, Scene 3. The girl is sat on the bus talking to a friend. 645 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,797 Going out with Paul tonight. 646 00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,871 - Who? - Paul. He's my latest. 647 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:41,191 - Where did you meet him? - Our Tony's party. It's his best mate. 648 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,635 - What's he like? - What, in looks or in bed? 649 00:45:43,720 --> 00:45:46,951 - Either, if you're gonna tell me. - He's great in bed. 650 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,828 Certainly knows what to do with a lass. So funny, the first night, though. 651 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:52,990 - Do you want to know? - I'm listening. 652 00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,992 Well, we were just talking and we were well drunk. 653 00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:59,709 He started on about the girls he'd screwed and who he'd like to screw. 654 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,155 He said, "Are you coming to the toilet with me?" 655 00:46:02,240 --> 00:46:04,356 I thought he were joking so I just laughed, 656 00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:05,793 but he weren't, so I went. 657 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,678 - Where, in the toilet? - Yeah. He had a piss. 658 00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:10,990 - I bet you're having me on. - No, seriously. 659 00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,150 - I held it while he had a piss. - Give over. 660 00:46:13,240 --> 00:46:16,232 Honest. But then we had it off. 661 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:19,517 - Weren't it a bit cramped? - Not really, we did it standing up. 662 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,750 The only problem was it kept slipping out. 663 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,513 - What did? - His cock. What do you think? 664 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:30,074 - Are you sure you're not having me on? - Seriously, swear on my baby's life. 665 00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:32,549 How is your young 'un? Ain't seen her for a while. 666 00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,153 She's alright. She's OK. 667 00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:37,073 - How old is she now? - She's five months, nearly six. 668 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,912 She's just come out of hospital. 669 00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:43,073 - Why? What's wrong with her? - She had impetigo, quite bad as well. 670 00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:45,870 Fares, please. 671 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,951 - Ten, please. - You full fare. 672 00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,429 - Me, no. - You how old? 673 00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:52,750 - Nearly 15. - 15 full fare. 674 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,035 I'm bleedin' nearly 15. I'm not yet. 675 00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,556 You know, by the time I was 15, I'd started to develop as a young woman 676 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:03,919 and I was getting male attention, you know. Erm... 677 00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:11,910 But I was naughty with it. From getting raped at 14... 678 00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:17,958 ...I just turned into a bitch, you know, erm... 679 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:23,194 Back then I didn't know that I'd made a decision to just use and abuse men. 680 00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,955 You know, the way I felt used and abused by them. 681 00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:31,435 And then it just... It just went downhill very fast. 682 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:39,833 I started drinking at every opportunity, smoking weed every single day. 683 00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:43,674 By the time I was 15, I used to go up to the Buttershaw Estate 684 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:47,639 and I used to walk up from Great Horton because it's, like, 20 minutes' walk. 685 00:47:47,720 --> 00:47:51,599 And, erm, I got introduced to crack cocaine. 686 00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,713 When I first took it I said, "There's nothing to that." 687 00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:56,994 So I kept doing it. 688 00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,277 They said, "The more you have it, the more effects you'll get." 689 00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,351 They wasn't kidding. 690 00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:06,353 What I soon found out is taking crack, you need something to come down. 691 00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,954 Erm, so then I started taking heroin. 692 00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:17,153 Basically it went from, erm, dope, to acid 693 00:48:17,240 --> 00:48:20,471 and then all the lads on the estate were having mad turns. 694 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,996 They used to hang round in a big gang where they used to go to the woods 695 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,150 and pick magic mushrooms and all that. 696 00:48:26,240 --> 00:48:28,356 So that were, like, all the acid scene. 697 00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:32,831 And then it went to ecstasy and then from ecstasy, it went to heroin. 698 00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:40,512 I was just an outcast. 699 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,955 "She ain't got no mum and she's a Paki and..." 700 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:48,673 Yeah, even through to upper school I got bullied. Ann and Steve... 701 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,035 Steve used to have to pick me up from school. 702 00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:54,032 They used to have to let me out five minutes early. 703 00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:02,235 I was working at a place with a guy called Dave and Tracy. 704 00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,835 They were supervisors. I got a supervising job there 705 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:09,833 and, erm, they was heroin and crack cocaine users. 706 00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,398 And from 17, I never put it down. 707 00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:18,750 I couldn't get up at six o'clock in the morning and keep a job down. 708 00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:21,479 My behaviour was very erratic. 709 00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,996 I wasn't a day person any more, I was a night person. 710 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,238 I said I was 18, I went to work in a house. 711 00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:42,396 Erm, in Huddersfield. 712 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,040 There was a guy in the house with me all day. 713 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:48,795 I had to man the phones, give out my description, 714 00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,314 take them upstairs, do the business, let them go, 715 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:56,474 give the man his money and I'd keep my money. I used to make hundreds. 716 00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:59,393 It's the easiest way for a woman to make money, innit? 717 00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:04,110 Physically, it's not, it's not, erm, demanding. Mentally... 718 00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,720 I've seen girls hang themselves over it. 719 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:13,751 You know, erm... 720 00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:20,632 But I suppose that's just how it is, innit? 721 00:50:20,720 --> 00:50:23,393 Erm, I don't really want to talk about it. 722 00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:31,069 She rung me one day and I 1471 'd it 723 00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:35,233 and it were summat like Angels, erm... I can't remember. 724 00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:39,791 And I rung it and it were... it were a massage parlour. 725 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,269 That were one reason why I knew she were there. 726 00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,351 What else would she be there for? 727 00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:48,797 Erm, Lisa had once said something about somebody had come to her house 728 00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:52,190 with some coats that Lorraine had nicked. 729 00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:53,349 Er, when did I know? 730 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,796 When some prostitutes came on to the Arbor 731 00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,917 looking for her cos she'd pinched some Tommy Hilfiger coats. 732 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,150 They pulled me up at the bottom of the street 733 00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:03,912 and asked me if I knew who she were. 734 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,719 I thought this looks like trouble so I said no. 735 00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,439 And that's when she told us everything 736 00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:13,149 because she just told us she were working at Manchester Airport. 737 00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:16,437 And then she came back with all these nice clothes and I thought, 738 00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,751 "Oh, yeah, she must be getting a decent wage." 739 00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,752 I were even wearing the clothes me sen. 740 00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:26,833 Used to say to her, "Why do you sell your body to people?" 741 00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:30,549 She went, "For me drugs, how else do you expect me to get 'em?" 742 00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,599 OK, my first pregnancy. 743 00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:51,796 I was living in... 744 00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:57,192 ...a hostel. 745 00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,833 I had various different partners. 746 00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:09,671 I moved from the hostel and I managed to go into a young persons' project. 747 00:52:12,720 --> 00:52:16,030 For ages I wanted a child and then I'd completely gone off the idea, 748 00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:18,588 then I knew I was pregnant. 749 00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:21,152 I told everybody I was pregnant. 750 00:52:21,240 --> 00:52:24,676 I told Ann and Steve I was pregnant, I told the family I was pregnant. 751 00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:34,309 No, I was a good parent. I was... I was a good parent. 752 00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:38,359 Social services did their little assessment and everything was fine. 753 00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:43,116 He was well catered for, but this time round, I was on a methadone programme. 754 00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,829 I didn't want a child. You know, I could barely cope with the one I had. 755 00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:50,796 He was, like, eight month or something. 756 00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:55,078 So I said, "The only thing I can do is move back to Buttershaw Estate, 757 00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,435 be nearer the family where they can help me." 758 00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,272 I was too far gone. 759 00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:08,710 Even with the kids, the first two, 760 00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:12,713 she didn't have food in the cupboards. She didn't have baby milk. 761 00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:25,399 Erm... 762 00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:35,156 It's probably one of the hardest things any mother could ever admit. 763 00:53:35,240 --> 00:53:36,798 Erm... 764 00:53:39,240 --> 00:53:40,673 I couldn't look after 'em. 765 00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:50,958 I mean, the two that got took off of her, she had chance to get them back. 766 00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:54,396 But the drugs were more important. They said if she got off the drugs 767 00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:56,789 and got rid of the bloke that she were with, 768 00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:00,156 she'd stand a chance of getting them back, but she didn't. 769 00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:06,993 You know, there were so many drug addicts on the estate. 770 00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:09,640 They knew what you were doing, where you were going, 771 00:54:09,720 --> 00:54:11,711 who you were ringing. 772 00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:15,759 If I bought tinfoil, my Auntie Pamela would know about it within five minutes. 773 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:19,594 I used to have to get other people to go in the shop for me and stuff. 774 00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:20,874 Erm... 775 00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:26,033 The only person that stayed normal with me at that point was my grandma. 776 00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:32,196 I don't think any of the family realised how much I loved my grandma. 777 00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:34,714 Regardless of what I were doing or how bad it got 778 00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:37,360 or how down and out I got, 779 00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:42,753 erm, there was only my grandma I cared about. Because she was lovely. 780 00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,592 And she'd give you what she could and help as much as she could. 781 00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:51,958 She had time to talk to you. You know, and... 782 00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:55,271 In her own little way, she showed her affection in that way. 783 00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:57,032 None of the rest of the family did. 784 00:54:57,120 --> 00:55:01,432 It was all swearing and cursing and shouting. My grandma wasn't like that. 785 00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:16,637 Late '90s it were. It were just all them high-rise flats. 786 00:55:16,720 --> 00:55:19,837 I don't know, it were mad. There were just lads just running in, 787 00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:23,595 booting doors in, ripping boilers out. You know, in empty flats and that. 788 00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:26,433 It got to that stage so there were no sense of community, 789 00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:30,229 whereas from years before you could see the community. Do you know... 790 00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:39,914 In 2000, 20 years on from The Arbor and Rita, Sue and Bob Too, 791 00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:44,039 I went back to Buttershaw, to interview people for a new play 792 00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:47,908 that showed what had changed there since the early '80s. 793 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:51,390 The play was called A State Affair, a verbatim play, 794 00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:55,359 where the actors spoke the words of the interviewees they had met. 795 00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:59,638 The final words of the play were those of Andrea's own daughter, Lorraine. 796 00:55:59,720 --> 00:56:05,477 I don't know why I was involved with A State Affair to be honest. 797 00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:07,710 Erm... 798 00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:14,035 To me A State Affair was a progression of Rita, Sue and Bob Too. 799 00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:19,670 It highlighted how the Arbor 800 00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:22,513 and the Buttershaw Estate had changed 801 00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:26,388 and how the people living on the estate had changed. 802 00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:29,153 You know, erm, 803 00:56:29,240 --> 00:56:37,113 from drug addiction to a serious lack of community and communication. 804 00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,714 How it all broke down. 805 00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:42,234 That's really all it is to me. 806 00:56:44,240 --> 00:56:47,710 There's two moments when we did A State Affair 807 00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,758 that'll stick in my mind forever. 808 00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,400 One was when we did it at the Soho Theatre 809 00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,471 and Lorraine was in the audience 810 00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:57,630 and there was this big speech at the end, 811 00:56:57,720 --> 00:57:01,190 where she talks about her mum, talks about Andrea, 812 00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:06,308 and I just looked at Lorraine, just tears streaming down Lorraine's face. 813 00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:09,676 I was on stage thinking, "Keep it together, don't start crying." 814 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:11,318 My eyes were welling up as well. 815 00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,153 I was thinking, "I've got to keep this together here." 816 00:57:14,240 --> 00:57:17,596 And then the second time was when Lisa Dunbar, 817 00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:20,638 Andrea's second child, 818 00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,312 who was in the audience, 819 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:26,996 screaming and crying, going, "No, I can't, no." 820 00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:30,709 And leaving the theatre and people in the audience going, "Shh." 821 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:34,634 This audience telling her to shush. They thought it was someone being noisy. 822 00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,756 If only they knew the story. 823 00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:42,437 "If my mum wrote the play now, Rita and Sue would be smackheads, 824 00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,557 on crack as well and working the red-light district, 825 00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:48,154 sleeping with everybody and anybody for money." 826 00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:53,394 "Bob would probably be injecting heroin, taking loads of tablets as well." 827 00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:56,677 "As a piece of writing Rita, Sue and Bob Too is OK." 828 00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,320 "As a piece of autobiography, it's disgusting." 829 00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,960 "She made herself look a right tart." 830 00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:05,032 "OK, she's got three different kids to three different men, 831 00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:08,271 that's bad enough, but to tell everyone..." 832 00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:11,636 "It was coming up to her memoriam. She'd been dead eight years." 833 00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:15,793 "Shaq was trying to persuade me to go to the grave with flowers. I couldn't." 834 00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:19,713 "One night when she thought I was asleep I heard her say 835 00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:24,032 she wished, she had thought... she..." Sorry. 836 00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:26,998 "I heard her say she wished she'd had an abortion with me." 837 00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:28,672 "How could she say that?" 838 00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:32,070 "Every day I feel hurt, pain, anger, hate." 839 00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:35,436 "That's why I went on heroin, to block out those feelings." 840 00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:49,471 I didn't agree with anything she said. 841 00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,870 She were more or less blaming my mum for her being on drugs. 842 00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:55,349 I wouldn't ever use me mum dying as an excuse 843 00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:59,797 for anything that I've ever done in my life, really. 844 00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:03,395 Cos we've all got to learn by our mistakes. 845 00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:09,154 To me she were bang out of order what she were saying. 846 00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:12,835 I wouldn't have even spoke about my mother like that. Simple as. 847 00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:17,431 I'm ashamed for her saying that 848 00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:22,196 because at the end of the day, me mum is who she is. 849 00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:24,794 Erm, it kicked off a riot. 850 00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:26,677 Well, not a riot, but I mean 851 00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:30,753 a lot of the family were disgusted by the words what Lorraine had said. 852 00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:36,832 I know where Lorraine came from when she were saying that 853 00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:41,277 because Lorraine ended up having drugs. 854 00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:42,793 She had a couple of kids, 855 00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:48,557 kids were taken off her and that's what's happened, really. 856 00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:59,592 End of 2001, I went homeless and then met Johnny... 857 01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:04,235 Otherwise known as Kitten. I was 21. 858 01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:09,276 He was lovely, absolutely lovely. 859 01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:16,234 Had money, smoked drugs, got on, had a good sex life. 860 01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:18,993 Erm, he was attractive, 861 01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:22,868 funny, caring, gentle, loving, 862 01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:26,475 but within a month that had all gone. 863 01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:32,157 He was just the most vile, most violent creature I ever come across. 864 01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:35,232 I got forced onto the street. I didn't do it for long. 865 01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:39,233 Erm, not a nice experience. 866 01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:43,397 Oh, the things that man did to me. 867 01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:46,278 He was committing robberies, left, right and centre, 868 01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:48,954 but he was feeding my addiction. 869 01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:52,715 But he was crack psychosed to the eyeballs. 870 01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:55,189 Erm, I didn't dare breathe in front of him. 871 01:00:55,280 --> 01:01:00,912 Erm, he got me pregnant, swore down blind it weren't his baby. 872 01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:05,915 Erm, the baby went into my fallopian tubes. 873 01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:09,550 Then he kept beating me up, 874 01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:13,553 so it must have just come out through the beatings. 875 01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:19,397 And, erm, then he got a screwdriver 876 01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:24,156 and abused me with a screwdriver, internally as well as physically, 877 01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:28,597 and then raped me and when I sat up the baby came out. 878 01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:33,634 He... He'd imprisoned me for, like, 12 days. 879 01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:36,632 No drugs, no food, no toilet. 880 01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:39,632 The only thing I had was water. 881 01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:42,635 After 12 days I managed to get out. 882 01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:50,156 I went to the doctor's cos all this had happened with the pregnancy. 883 01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:53,915 He found me at the doctor's. He came back, out of the blue. 884 01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:57,356 He dragged me into hospital. He was saying, "She's been in a fight." 885 01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,113 He went up the stairs before me. And I just couldn't... 886 01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:01,633 I says, "He's beating me up." 887 01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:04,359 I ran down the stairs and locked myself in the toilet. 888 01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:08,353 He kicked the door off in front of these two guys. 889 01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:11,910 Got my head and started smashing it on this toilet seat. 890 01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:14,230 The guys rang the police. 891 01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:18,359 As soon as he heard the sirens, he left. 892 01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:22,069 I ended up passed out on the floor. 893 01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:27,439 They caught him about five month later 894 01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:29,954 in a completely different town. 895 01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:36,233 This man locked her in with no toilet or nowt. 896 01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:39,835 Erm, and I think she'd been beat up 897 01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,992 and I think it were a caretaker or something that got her out. 898 01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:44,877 That lad got quite a few year for that 899 01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:47,428 cos he'd already done summat similar to it. 900 01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:52,155 He ended up going to prison for Section 18 and false imprisonment. 901 01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:02,151 Act 2, Scene 8. 902 01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:04,754 She was arguing with Yousaf for two days. 903 01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:07,115 He beat her during them two days. 904 01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,191 She couldn't stand it no more. 905 01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:12,238 The girl was sat with a neighbour talking to her. 906 01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,675 I think if it were me, I'd stab the bastard. 907 01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:16,557 I thought about it but I daren't. 908 01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:19,029 You can't just let him carry on like that. 909 01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:22,430 - But I can't hit him back. - Why not? I would. 910 01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:24,829 Easier said than done. Before you know it, 911 01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:28,674 he's got me on the floor and he's knocking ten tons of shit out of me. 912 01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:30,955 I suppose it's hard cos he's bigger than you. 913 01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,508 I don't think that makes a difference. 914 01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:36,319 I hit him back once but I landed off the worst for it. 915 01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:38,789 - You frightened of losing the baby? - Oh, yeah. 916 01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:44,318 Every time he comes near me, I think, "Oh, what have I done now?" 917 01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:47,392 To look at him you'd think butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. 918 01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:48,913 A lot of people say that to me. 919 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:52,788 He's so quiet and speaks dead nice to you, using his manners. 920 01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:54,836 You don't see many round here using 'em. 921 01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:57,036 He's a bastard, really. 922 01:03:57,120 --> 01:04:00,271 He likes for people to think that he's nice, and a lot do, 923 01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:04,476 but I'd love those people to come round to ours when he starts. 924 01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:07,552 - Has he done it to you before? - It's his favourite thing. 925 01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:09,312 He's always done it. 926 01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:12,915 What gets me is he doesn't stop until I'm out cold on the floor. 927 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,558 He's a bastard. 928 01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:16,676 I think I'm gonna have to leave him. 929 01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:19,718 - When? - As soon as possible. 930 01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:22,758 - He's terrible. He's going nuts. - What do you mean? 931 01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:25,638 He's hitting me that much, I can't stand it any more. 932 01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:27,199 I feel I've got to get out. 933 01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:30,875 - I've got to get away from him. - What, for good or just for a while? 934 01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:33,918 For good for me, and this baby. 935 01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:37,276 I've got to get away for good. 936 01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:41,069 I mean, if he's hitting me really bad now, what's he going to do to the baby? 937 01:04:41,160 --> 01:04:44,118 - He wouldn't harm a baby. - Oh, but he would. 938 01:04:44,200 --> 01:04:47,351 I won't give him the chance to lay his hands on that. 939 01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:51,558 If he can do it to me while I'm pregnant he can do it to the baby once it's born. 940 01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:05,836 2002, I went to jail. 941 01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:11,631 I was at the scene of a guy robbing a woman. 942 01:05:11,720 --> 01:05:14,518 The police knew I hadn't actually committed the robbery 943 01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:17,876 and all they wanted was his name but I was too scared to give his name 944 01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:20,872 so I ended up pleading guilty to the robbery 945 01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:23,520 and getting two years, seven months. 946 01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:34,438 In fact I can honestly say, the best time of my life were that sentence, 947 01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:36,033 where it was easy. 948 01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:41,390 It's just nice, no worries, no freedom, no abuse. 949 01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:44,711 Erm, being cared for. 950 01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:48,918 Because freedom had give me nothing but headache and trouble. 951 01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:57,674 I was still using heroin throughout that sentence. I was getting it sent in. 952 01:05:57,760 --> 01:06:00,149 It's not hard to get drugs in prison. 953 01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:12,832 Act 2, Scene 9. 954 01:06:12,920 --> 01:06:16,071 This is a scene of the girl and Maureen in the refuge. 955 01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,590 I'll be glad when I've had this baby. 956 01:06:19,680 --> 01:06:21,955 What you gonna call it? 957 01:06:22,040 --> 01:06:26,033 Julie, if it's a girl, or Lorraine. 958 01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:28,793 And Jason or Christopher if it's a lad. 959 01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:31,631 I'm glad we got away from that dump. 960 01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:37,157 It may be a dump, but I quite miss it. 961 01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:38,389 I miss my mum 962 01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:41,829 and all the kids 963 01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:46,391 and funnily enough, I quite miss me dad and all me mates. 964 01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:49,916 And it's a bit quiet here, innit? 965 01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:07,473 Within 30 days of getting out of prison, I was pregnant with Harris. 966 01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:13,313 Cos I let her stay here when she got out of prison. 967 01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:17,518 She'd just found out she were pregnant with Harris after she'd been here. 968 01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:20,160 And she didn't take a suitcase with her 969 01:07:20,240 --> 01:07:23,232 and she'd left some clean clothes on the side. 970 01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:25,914 So I went to put 'em in a suitcase. I weren't looking. 971 01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:29,709 I seen a chemist bag with one of my kitchen spoons hanging out of it. 972 01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:31,518 So I thought, "What's this?" 973 01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:34,114 A dirty great big needle hanging out of that bag 974 01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:36,236 and there was still heroin on the spoon. 975 01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:40,074 So obviously I went mad. I wrapped it up in a tea towel, put it in the bag 976 01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:43,357 and I went all the way to Bradford because I were gonna kill her. 977 01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:46,910 Cos my little one could have picked that up, do you know what I mean? 978 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:49,753 And I were really mad with her. 979 01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:52,434 But then I found out she'd cut her tag off as well. 980 01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:54,476 I didn't know that she'd had a tag. 981 01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:57,472 She'd cut it off before she come to my house. 982 01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:02,990 The birth, Ann was there. 983 01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:06,311 She was the first to hold him. 984 01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:09,517 And I actually cried when I had Harris. 985 01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:13,149 He was the first baby that I really, really wanted. 986 01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:17,991 I stayed mostly clean. 987 01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:23,313 I used maybe once every two week through Harris's pregnancy. 988 01:08:23,400 --> 01:08:26,233 He was born an addict. Erm... 989 01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:30,309 He was my everything. 990 01:08:33,480 --> 01:08:35,948 I bet Rafee's about 50 now. 991 01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:38,791 I made him hold Harris. 992 01:08:38,880 --> 01:08:42,793 And he was so pleased with himself cos he'd never held a baby before. 993 01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:46,634 And he used to make sure Harris had everything, make sure I had everything. 994 01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:50,998 Cigarettes, food in the cupboard, blah-di blah-di blah... 995 01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:53,799 In the back of my head he was a client, but he wasn't, 996 01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:58,237 if you know what I mean. It was different, you know. 997 01:08:58,320 --> 01:09:02,233 He was a sugar daddy, for want of a better term. 998 01:09:02,320 --> 01:09:06,108 He provided me with my drugs whenever I rang up, you know. 999 01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:09,351 He was an importer of crack cocaine and heroin. 1000 01:09:09,440 --> 01:09:13,433 Erm, it was like I hit gold when I got him. 1001 01:09:13,520 --> 01:09:15,272 He ended up getting me married off. 1002 01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:21,155 Because he was a married man with kids, he introduced me to a guy. 1003 01:09:22,560 --> 01:09:25,836 I fell in love with him and ended up marrying him. 1004 01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:27,956 Half arranged, half love. 1005 01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:31,955 Well, I liked Saif instantly, he was handsome. 1006 01:09:32,040 --> 01:09:35,476 You know, I am vain and the first thing I do look at 1007 01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:37,915 is if somebody's handsome or not. 1008 01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:42,872 I had to spend nine week away from Harris when I was in prison. 1009 01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:45,269 It was hell. 1010 01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:47,920 I missed his first birthday on a recall. 1011 01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:51,634 You know, I only ever got one birthday with him. 1012 01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:59,590 And we think children don't know what's going on. 1013 01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:03,673 I remember being in prison and my husband bringing Harris up 1014 01:10:03,760 --> 01:10:05,910 and he was so angry. 1015 01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:10,630 Because not only had Mum gone, he was now moved into a different house. 1016 01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:14,759 You know, fair enough he went to my foster parents, to Ann and Steve, 1017 01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:18,594 he went to his nan and granddad, but Mum wasn't there. 1018 01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:21,035 He wasn't waking up next to Mummy. 1019 01:10:23,480 --> 01:10:25,596 Some children, you could give 'em to you 1020 01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:29,514 and they'd have screamed and carted on, wouldn't they, you know what I mean? 1021 01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:31,556 At one year old... He weren't even one. 1022 01:10:31,640 --> 01:10:35,428 It were April so he weren't one till June, so he were 11, ten month old. 1023 01:10:35,520 --> 01:10:37,875 Ten month old, that's a fact, yeah, ten. 1024 01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:40,554 He were as good as gold. But what Lorraine did say, 1025 01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:43,029 "You've got to put six bottles in his cot at night 1026 01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:45,509 cos if you don't, he'll wonder what's going on." 1027 01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:47,909 And he'd drink 'em and sling 'em out, 1028 01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:50,594 drink 'em, sling 'em out, till the morning. 1029 01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:54,639 And then, where the cot were there, cot's there and our bed's there. 1030 01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:58,110 So we used to put... Cos he used to stand up like that, looking at you. 1031 01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:00,953 As soon as you had eye contact with him, that were it, 1032 01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:04,032 you had to either get up or get up with him, be it whatever. 1033 01:11:04,120 --> 01:11:07,032 So we, we used to put, like, a dressing gown round it. 1034 01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:10,510 And his head used to come up and he'd be going... 1035 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:11,874 He'd be looking for you. 1036 01:11:11,960 --> 01:11:14,838 And you'd laugh, cos I've got a mirror and you could see him 1037 01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:17,992 and you'd laugh and then you'd think, "Right, just get him." 1038 01:11:18,080 --> 01:11:20,355 So we'd put him in the middle of us, bless him. 1039 01:11:20,440 --> 01:11:22,874 But he were not a minute's problem. 1040 01:11:22,960 --> 01:11:25,793 He smiled all the time. 1041 01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:28,235 He were absolutely gorgeous. 1042 01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:36,271 I think the job of a social worker is so important. 1043 01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:40,319 Because we attended meetings, where sort of we'd say summat 1044 01:11:40,400 --> 01:11:42,789 and then it'd be a revelation to somebody else. 1045 01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:45,997 One of them didn't know she'd had two children taken off her. 1046 01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:47,069 You know what I mean? 1047 01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:50,948 How could you make an informed decision with so little knowledge? 1048 01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:54,919 They'd ask you on one hand and disregard everything you'd said. 1049 01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:57,878 They promised us a degree of confidentiality 1050 01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:02,829 but then went and told Lorraine, which potentially caused a lot of conflict. 1051 01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:07,311 It got back to her. She said, "Why have you been saying that about me?" 1052 01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:12,190 We suggested that it were more of a weaning-off period back over to her. 1053 01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:15,078 Regular weight checks, things like that. 1054 01:12:15,160 --> 01:12:16,275 He hadn't been eating. 1055 01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:19,591 She wrote a letter, "Don't you accuse me of not feeding my son." 1056 01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:21,477 We didn't think she should have him. 1057 01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:27,833 Ann and Steve. I put them through hell. 1058 01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:30,354 I knew they were looking after him. 1059 01:12:30,440 --> 01:12:33,318 You know, and I was so grateful for them to do it, 1060 01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:37,996 but I was so jealous and envious that he wasn't with me. 1061 01:12:38,080 --> 01:12:40,548 I wanted him with me, where he belonged, with me. 1062 01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:44,155 I was just being downright bloody selfish. 1063 01:12:46,040 --> 01:12:49,953 I just can't for the life of me see how they could come to a conclusion, 1064 01:12:50,040 --> 01:12:54,636 that somebody heavily on drugs, erm, with her background, 1065 01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:57,678 you know, could think she were capable of, 1066 01:12:57,760 --> 01:13:02,276 you know, maintaining a normal, safe environment for Harris. 1067 01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:07,512 You know, it just doesn't... Doesn't sit right with me, anyway. 1068 01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:11,195 The only good thing to come out of that, it were over a gradual thing. 1069 01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:13,714 She got him back over a few weeks. 1070 01:13:15,760 --> 01:13:18,274 I stayed on a methadone script. 1071 01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:22,353 I got off of it but I couldn't get more than five days of abstinence. 1072 01:13:24,520 --> 01:13:27,273 I think I was having a nervous breakdown. 1073 01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:30,990 I split up with my husband. 1074 01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:34,709 You know, I ended up in a women's hostel. 1075 01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:37,155 My addiction got worse. 1076 01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:48,397 Two... Two... Two years and one month. 1077 01:13:48,480 --> 01:13:52,837 He was talking, he was walking, he'd feed himself, he was in a nursery. 1078 01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:54,512 He was a clever little boy. 1079 01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:57,034 I used to pick him up from the nursery and he knew, 1080 01:13:57,120 --> 01:13:58,872 he'd run to me and go in my pockets 1081 01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:01,520 cos he knew I had sweets in my pockets for him. 1082 01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:05,073 I said, "Why didn't you leave him with me that night?" 1083 01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:07,037 If you knew you were looking for drugs 1084 01:14:07,120 --> 01:14:09,270 and you were going out, why didn't you? 1085 01:14:09,360 --> 01:14:12,636 Because I'd lent her $20 that day and I always think to myself, 1086 01:14:12,720 --> 01:14:14,950 if I hadn't had lent her the $20... 1087 01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:16,792 But it's like the policeman said, 1088 01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:20,111 "If it hadn't have been that day, it would have been another day." 1089 01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:23,749 I'd got money off Ann but then I couldn't score. 1090 01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:28,436 Erm, and I was really, really withdrawing. 1091 01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:32,239 He was with me that morning but, erm, 1092 01:14:32,320 --> 01:14:35,153 I had stacks and stacks of methadone in that cabinet. 1093 01:14:35,240 --> 01:14:37,708 Cos I used to use and try not to take the methadone. 1094 01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:43,750 I used to take the methadone, erm, when I really needed to. 1095 01:14:43,840 --> 01:14:48,550 But there was a certain drug dealer that I used to sit down and smoke crack with 1096 01:14:48,640 --> 01:14:51,757 and, er, he just used to give me it. 1097 01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:53,751 But I couldn't get hold of him that day, 1098 01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:58,356 cos he, he hadn't, erm... he hadn't got nothing on him. 1099 01:15:02,960 --> 01:15:05,474 He went to bed, Harris went to sleep, obviously. 1100 01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:08,313 I think in the morning, when she woke up, I don't know, 1101 01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:10,755 but you can presume, she wanted to go to sleep, 1102 01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:12,592 he'd obviously wanted to get up. 1103 01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:15,797 Somebody'd heard her downstairs shouting at Harris, 1104 01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:18,917 "Harris, get the eff to sleep." 1105 01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:23,039 They'd heard him running about because the lady I went to the hospital with, 1106 01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:26,874 she said he'd got some nail varnish and he'd been messing with it. 1107 01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:37,589 Erm, I went to sleep with him on the bed. Yeah. 1108 01:15:37,680 --> 01:15:44,313 Erm, I had my hand and arm underneath his head and we went to sleep. 1109 01:15:46,760 --> 01:15:49,354 I woke up and he never did. 1110 01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:29,675 I remember sitting on a caravan step just crying, 1111 01:16:29,760 --> 01:16:35,596 just like, erm, what can you do? You couldn't... In fact it hurts me now. 1112 01:16:36,800 --> 01:16:40,031 Well, there's nothing you can do about it, you know what I mean? 1113 01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:47,957 Just awful. 1114 01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:51,759 A lot of people have got a lot... 1115 01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:55,992 It never... It can never be put right because, erm... 1116 01:16:57,720 --> 01:17:02,874 ...situations are as they are and we'll have learnt lessons from this 1117 01:17:02,960 --> 01:17:06,509 but they won't learn lessons at all cos... 1118 01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:10,309 Well, when she got him back, obviously whatever circumstances, 1119 01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:14,109 whatever lifestyle she chose to live... 1120 01:17:18,200 --> 01:17:22,398 We've got to live with seeing the cemetery every day, virtually, 1121 01:17:22,480 --> 01:17:26,917 you know what I mean? How can it not occur to you? 1122 01:17:30,680 --> 01:17:32,989 Everybody let Harris down. 1123 01:17:33,080 --> 01:17:35,674 We didn't, with hindsight, fight hard enough. 1124 01:17:35,760 --> 01:17:40,072 We made the right noises, but they were pissing in the wind. 1125 01:18:18,120 --> 01:18:21,954 Lorraine came to see Kathy after a few days, 1126 01:18:22,040 --> 01:18:24,793 but she looked like she weren't bothered. 1127 01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:28,316 Kathy said, "Why ain't she crying?" 1128 01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:30,391 Cos if it had been her with her kids 1129 01:18:30,480 --> 01:18:33,756 and, like, I said, if it were Nicole, if my child died, 1130 01:18:33,840 --> 01:18:36,673 I'd be in, I'd be in total meltdown. 1131 01:18:36,760 --> 01:18:40,070 I wouldn't be able to speak to anybody for crying. 1132 01:18:40,160 --> 01:18:44,199 And she just walked in normal, smiling and... It were weird. 1133 01:18:44,280 --> 01:18:46,316 It just all seemed weird at that time. 1134 01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:51,428 But it's, like, I stuck up for her and said, "People grieve in different ways." 1135 01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:55,877 And I even went to stay with Lorraine for a night. 1136 01:18:55,960 --> 01:18:59,316 And, er, she asked me if she could have Nicole for a week. 1137 01:18:59,400 --> 01:19:03,109 I said, "Can you hell." I said, "You deal with losing your son." 1138 01:19:03,200 --> 01:19:05,998 Cos this were only a couple of days after he died. 1139 01:19:06,080 --> 01:19:11,200 And she were wanting to have my child and I was like, "No." 1140 01:19:11,280 --> 01:19:16,035 But... I don't know, it's a horrible mess, that. 1141 01:19:22,320 --> 01:19:25,869 We just went to, erm, the graveside and just took flowers, 1142 01:19:25,960 --> 01:19:28,554 you know the flowers that everybody had brought. 1143 01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:30,631 Because we hadn't got no vases, 1144 01:19:30,720 --> 01:19:33,473 she was just sticking 'em in the grave like that. 1145 01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:35,676 You know, just one flower after another. 1146 01:19:35,760 --> 01:19:38,672 But then she started to go like that with her hands 1147 01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:42,753 and she were, like, getting all the soil like that. 1148 01:19:42,840 --> 01:19:45,673 And, erm, I thought I'd better go help her here, 1149 01:19:45,760 --> 01:19:48,115 so I got down and I started doing it. 1150 01:19:48,200 --> 01:19:51,431 Cos she wanted to get the soil to put the flowers in. 1151 01:19:51,520 --> 01:19:54,432 Erm, she ended up back in Lingfield Mount 1152 01:19:54,520 --> 01:19:58,069 and I think she were there for about a week. And then they arrested her. 1153 01:19:59,720 --> 01:20:02,678 My mum were absolutely devastated. 1154 01:20:04,040 --> 01:20:07,396 And she said, erm, if... 1155 01:20:07,480 --> 01:20:11,393 Same as the day that she were took into hospital after this stroke. 1156 01:20:11,480 --> 01:20:16,952 And if she'd have known Lorraine were there, she'd have had summat to say. 1157 01:20:18,400 --> 01:20:23,520 Cos she swore blind she didn't do nothing, you know, to all of us. 1158 01:20:23,600 --> 01:20:25,397 And then when me mum got to find out, 1159 01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:31,112 she'd say, "I'd shoot her for what she's done." 1160 01:20:31,200 --> 01:20:33,919 "She's no granddaughter of mine." 1161 01:20:35,480 --> 01:20:41,077 Bradford Crown Court heard how Harris Dunbar, at the age of just two, 1162 01:20:41,160 --> 01:20:43,674 had developed such a craving for methadone 1163 01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:47,514 that as his mother took it for her heroin addiction in front of him, 1164 01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:50,672 he'd hold out his arms screaming, as if for a fix himself. 1165 01:20:50,760 --> 01:20:51,954 He died last year 1166 01:20:52,040 --> 01:20:55,350 after swallowing the equivalent of a teaspoonful of methadone, 1167 01:20:55,440 --> 01:20:57,829 prescribed for his mother's heroin addiction. 1168 01:20:57,920 --> 01:20:59,751 Lorraine Dunbar is the daughter 1169 01:20:59,840 --> 01:21:02,354 of the late Bradford playwright, Andrea Dunbar, 1170 01:21:02,440 --> 01:21:05,000 who became famous 20 years ago for her film... 1171 01:21:05,080 --> 01:21:07,036 - It's not very flattering, is it? - No. 1172 01:21:07,120 --> 01:21:10,351 ...about life on the downtrodden Buttershaw Estate in Bradford. 1173 01:21:10,440 --> 01:21:12,670 Lorraine was just 11 when her mother died 1174 01:21:12,760 --> 01:21:14,716 from a suspected brain haemorrhage 1175 01:21:14,800 --> 01:21:18,588 and her daughter had descended into drugs by the age of 14. 1176 01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:21,558 The judge said Dunbar had totally failed as a parent 1177 01:21:21,640 --> 01:21:24,552 by omission rather than commission. 1178 01:21:24,640 --> 01:21:28,155 Today she was jailed for three years and nine months for manslaughter 1179 01:21:28,240 --> 01:21:30,549 by gross neglect of her son Harris. 1180 01:21:31,680 --> 01:21:35,070 John Cundy reporting. More than 100 mourners attended... 1181 01:21:35,160 --> 01:21:38,277 Embroidered it a little bit, didn't they? 1182 01:21:53,520 --> 01:21:58,469 I didn't think for a minute he'd died of drugs or owt related. 1183 01:21:59,600 --> 01:22:02,319 He'd had methadone and dotheipin. 1184 01:22:02,400 --> 01:22:07,030 Whether he'd been given it or whether he'd taken it of his own free will, 1185 01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:09,156 we'll never know, will we? 1186 01:22:09,240 --> 01:22:13,870 Cos you can't just go around thinking forever, "Did she? Didn't she?" 1187 01:22:13,960 --> 01:22:17,953 I mean, I thought to myself last night, "Whatever happened, happened." 1188 01:22:18,040 --> 01:22:19,439 Now, he's not here. 1189 01:22:19,520 --> 01:22:22,114 Whether she give him it, whether he picked it up, 1190 01:22:22,200 --> 01:22:25,272 it shouldn't have obviously been in the room. It were. 1191 01:22:25,360 --> 01:22:27,476 And that's all there is to it now. 1192 01:22:27,560 --> 01:22:30,950 You can either say to her, "On your bike, I don't wanna see you again," 1193 01:22:31,040 --> 01:22:34,316 and just think, "Forget 'em all," and just get on with your life 1194 01:22:34,400 --> 01:22:36,960 or you can think, 1195 01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:40,715 "I won't do that and I'll sit back and you know, I'll write to you 1196 01:22:40,800 --> 01:22:45,555 and maybe see you and see how long you get and see what you come out like." 1197 01:22:51,520 --> 01:22:54,592 I don't think it's ever something you come to terms with. 1198 01:22:54,680 --> 01:22:58,912 Erm, the fact of the matter was, I was responsible. 1199 01:23:01,080 --> 01:23:05,119 It took me over a year to even think 1200 01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:08,749 and start looking at the facts that this was my fault. 1201 01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:13,595 You know, I allowed this and I caused this, with no intention at all. 1202 01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:18,389 But I chose drugs over my son. 1203 01:23:50,720 --> 01:23:53,632 "If I wrote a play, I'd do it about Buttershaw Estate." 1204 01:23:53,720 --> 01:23:56,280 "I'd show some people getting their lives together 1205 01:23:56,360 --> 01:23:58,510 with a lot of courage and determination, 1206 01:23:58,600 --> 01:24:01,398 but it would also show others going down a big steep hill 1207 01:24:01,480 --> 01:24:04,870 into a big black hole." 1208 01:24:22,440 --> 01:24:25,591 Today, I do every day clean and sober. 1209 01:24:25,680 --> 01:24:29,275 If I ever felt like using, then I'd only have to think of the consequence 1210 01:24:29,360 --> 01:24:32,750 of losing him and that's more than enough to keep me clean. 1211 01:24:43,280 --> 01:24:44,713 I think I had to grow up. 1212 01:24:44,800 --> 01:24:47,268 I had to see the world as it was and stop blaming it 1213 01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:51,194 and being very resentful towards everyone. 1214 01:24:51,280 --> 01:24:53,236 And being angry, I guess. 1215 01:25:10,040 --> 01:25:11,632 With having Lorraine, 1216 01:25:11,720 --> 01:25:14,188 I don't knock about with anybody, same as Arbor. 1217 01:25:14,280 --> 01:25:17,795 I wouldn't say I've got any friends cos I don't bother with nobody. 1218 01:25:17,880 --> 01:25:20,758 Keep myself to myself. 1219 01:25:20,840 --> 01:25:24,799 I think sometimes everybody gets that way, wishing they hadn't. 1220 01:25:26,280 --> 01:25:29,829 Then they think... I suppose sometimes you wish you hadn't 1221 01:25:29,920 --> 01:25:32,992 cos you wanted to do this, but when you've actually got 'em... 1222 01:25:33,080 --> 01:25:36,914 I mean if they were taken away from you, you'd soon miss 'em and want 'em back, 1223 01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:40,310 even though you can't do things you'd like to do. 1224 01:25:40,400 --> 01:25:44,154 I don't think really they are that much trouble, 1225 01:25:44,240 --> 01:25:48,279 not as much as what people make them out to be. 1226 01:25:48,360 --> 01:25:51,477 Maybe it's just Lorraine, cos she's a good baby. I don't know. 1227 01:26:53,920 --> 01:26:55,911 ripped by carrot/subscen.com106982

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