Original subtitles

So....you drive slow...right?

It is dangerous...right? Bad things can happen...

Like one time I was in that place at the traffic light...

It was red, yellow and green... red, yellow and green...

So...there was one guy in front... so I got out...

And I told him..."Ninìn...there's no more colors... will you go??"

It's that...then you.... they realize...right?

You made your move!

The Dame...

The checkers, you know.... it's something you gotta feel inside...

Inside you there's only filth and alcohol.

Bad man!

Make sure to call me if some pussy comes in.... I'll wash my balls and come back.

Damn them!

Damn them!

Gustino?

Gustino?

Gustino!

What? -Open up, please... they'll take my driving license.

You don't even say hello anymore?

Hello! Open up now, they're coming....

You can't wake me up every night... -It's not my fault if they're always here!

Mr. Bressan....

Another party tonight?

It's a war, my friend...a war...

Good evening, officer! -Good evening.

Jack Frost is already here, isn't...yep...

Well...see ya...keep up the good work... see ya...

B-b-bonehead...it's not presentable that way...

And d-down here...the plate is all oily...come on!

They're already dead...just no one told them yet.

No...they're p-perfectly capable of ap-appreciate...

It's a matter of looking good, got it?

I don't serve meatballs to the dead. -Paolo, you need to relax...

Do what I do... sing a song...

Cut it out!

D-d-do the b-b-bass... -B-b-b-b....

I do the....

Gee, you burned yourself!

You don't say "gee"! You say goddamit!...fuck it!... That fucking....

Don't say that!

Shut up....you gotta shut up...

Paolo...

Paolo...what are the kids going to eat?

"God of the sky...Lord of the peaks...friend of ours..."

What you're looking at? You wrecks!

Take a bath in the morning! You smell disgusting!

P-P-P-Pa....

P-P-Paolo!

Have you called the co-cooperative?

Have you called the coop.....perative?

No, why? -I don't wanna lose the job because of you.

You're not gonna lose the job... -Call the coop...perative!

Yes..now I'm playing, you see... -Call now the coop...perative, come on.

Can I finish first? -Call!

Call them now, please... -I'm calling! Stop it!

What happened?

So? -They're not picking up....hello! Yes, I'm Paolo...

Can you tell Alfio that we had a problem in the kitchen? No, nothing serious...

Ernesto....yes, now I'm with him... no, we're at Gustino's...

At Gustino's... cause he... so I'm... yes, you got it?

Alright... alright... thanks... bye.

What did he say? -It's alright, now stop it! Calm down!

Give him a "cut", please...I can't stand him like that...

See how nervous he is? Give him a cut....

No..no...Paolo...It's 96 days that I don't..... drink...

"The wine is health, water is funeral..."

Cheers! Viva...your mother!

What have you done? There's oil everywhere...it's like a battlefield...

You're right, it's my fault...I couldn't hold him. -Who?

Oh Lord....he's been sober for 3 months...

96 days....you should have seen him, he seemed possessed...

Then he took a hot pan and burned my hand, look...

I asked him why he did that..you know what he'd say? -No...

The Virgin Mary ordered him to do it.

No... you don't understand... do you understand?

Alfio, I know what you think... but to me, religion is useless...

If you're a moron and you believe in God...

You gonna believe in the God of morons.

I have to go now...see ya.

"The wine brings happiness..."

"The water is a funeral..."

"Who quits the Friulian wine..."

"Is a son of a bitch...."

"Wine relieves life..."

"Water is for the dogs!"

"Who quits the Friulian wine..."

"Is a big son of a bitch!"

Alfione! -Hey, Paolo!

What's that?

Some assholes keep throwing rocks at my windows... stop right there!

Where would you stand if you wanted to throw a rock? -Me?

I'd step back a little, and from here... -Stop right there! Stand still!

Stay...

Don't move...

Here...

May I?

Who might that be?

I don't know...someone has it in for me... or just kids with nothing better to do...

It's got a good range? -Wide-angle lens....very good range...

Are you gonna quit throwing rocks?

What you're talking about?

I swear...if you break the porcelain heart I'll have you arrested.

Porcelain heart....

Is it good?

I talked to Ernesto yesterday... he was mortified...

What did he say?

That it was you who made him drink.

Poor guy...

That poor kid needs help... -And you're willing to help him, right?

That's what I was there for.

A cell phone's ringing. -That's mine.

Eat up!

It's work... I won't answer.

I'm not offended...

It's Sunday...I wanna relax with my family and my friends...right? -Well said!

Alfio...

I said no.

Hello? Yes... yes... right away...

Hello? Hi..no, you're not disturbing me...

Tell me everything... yes... yes... yes...

You're a jerk... he was clean...

No... that's enough now!

I'm blamed for everything here...

Ernesto is past 40... if he wants a drink that's his business and not mine.

Ridiculous...

I don't know why he keeps inviting you to lunch.

Ask yourself.... why do you keep cooking the goulash the way I like it...

Cause I want you to have a heart attack!

You should have killed me when we were married, so you would have inherited.

Inherit what? The bills? The girlfriends?

I see today's a bad day.... can I go to the bathroom at least? -The toilet seat...

Fuck the toilet seat... I'll eat that up...

Oh God...

Are they new? -Yes, just today...

If you keep on like that, someday you gonna get Alfio's panties... -Revolting!

You know the name of your car? -Yes... loooove....

No... dick heeeaaad....

You poor man...

Mr. Bressan!

Mr. Bressan!

Damn you...

You can't fine me just cause I'm a drunk driver... you have to stop me WHILE I drive drunk...

We're here to give you this. -What's that?

Bad news from Slovenia...

Your aunt, Anja Kovac, just died... the notary... -Who?

Your aunt, Anja Kovac.

The notary who handles the succession would like to meet you immediately.

The details are in the letter. -Of the inheritance?

No... of the appointment.

Yes...for the appointment...

The appointment... yes...

Excuse me...

Poor aunt Anna...

Oh God!

Aunt Anna is no more... -Anja.

She raised me since I was this tall... she brought me wafers from Slovenia...

How... how did she passed away?

Died... she died.

Poor aunt Anna...

Her name was Anja. -Anja...

But now, dead.

Good morning.

My condolences.

Oh God... there she is... she's all inside here... aunt... aunt...

Who is this?

Why did you go so soon.... -Poor Anja's nephew.

Only now he shows up? Bastard! You dog!

Yes... "baraba"... poor aunt Anna...

Anja! Anja Kovac! -I called her Anna, alright? Now sit down and shut up!

Auntie... auntie...

Auntie, look how crushed I am from the pain...

Why... not a word, a call, a letter...why?

So suddenly... what a pain...

And now you're there... all... in the urn... oh God... auntie...

So... just out of curiosity... how much could the house be worth?

Ah, the house is worth about 67,000 euros.

It's nothing... poor lady, always been so humble...

Yes... poor lady mortgaged everything to buy medicines.

What? -Yes...house, land, furniture... all sold.

Where? Here? -Yes, but wait...

No, you wait! Why did you called me here?

Aunt said... you're the only one to call in case of death.

Only one what? -Only... how do you say it...

Only heir. -Of what??? She sold everything!!!

First of all, aunt asked you take porcelain dog.

Is called Helmut, and Zoran loves him.

Who?

Zoran?

What did you say to him?

I introduced Zoran... I told him you are uncle.

Yes.

Is he dumb? -No, no... wait...

After mom and dad died, Zoran grew up with grandma...

Now, one of the family has to stay with him.

Until he goes into Institute for minors.

Institute? When?

In five days. -Five?

I don't... -Wait...

This is... address for Institute...

And these are documents for transportation of urn.

What urn? -Urn... where dead grandma is.

Where dead is.

Fuck...

Let's make it clear, Zagor...we'll be together for a while, you'll do everything I tell you to, then I'll take you to the nuthouse.

Any questions? No? Good.

To be precise, my full name is Zoran...

Call yourself whatever you want, but you gotta stay mute!

Like that... mute and obedient.

And now... say goodbye to grandma.

No animals inside the house.

Close the door.

You sleep there.

And if...

Blondie...

Zagor!

I don't tolerate chaos, I wish to dwell inside here.

Dwell...

Listen, Leopardi... tomorrow morning I'll need to dwell inside there... and there's very little paper.

Dwell...

Red wine does burst... -Burst...

Drink too much red and you'll get hemorrhoids.

Drink white and nothing happens... but... white works you from the inside... red bursts outside...

Give him a drink of water.

Sit down... and mute!

Who's that? -My nephew.

From where? -I found him in Jugo, now give him the water... I have to go, I'll pick him up at 1 o'clock.

You can't leave him here! -I'll leave him in the car then and you check him out once in a while...

Just tell me who he is... -I'm late for work! I'm asking you a favor, will you help me or what?

How many times have I helped you?

Never.

Dog!

And don't give him nothing, I don't buy drinks... Zagor... be good.

You too.

Here.

Strange name, Zagor.

My full name is Zoran Spazzapan.

And mine... Gustino.

May I know your last name?

Yes... Liberàti, Gustino Liberàti.

If you need anything, I'm there.

Paolo...

Have you checked the calendar?

I know it by memory, we play Lazio... away game.

Not that... I mean it's almost San Pancrazio Martyr day.

Oh my God... I forgot, I'm sorry...

You know, I wrote a song about poor Ppp... about him.

Well done! Good... good...

I ppp-resented it to the choir.

But the director is not persuaded.

Always like that in Italy, if you don't know the right people...

Mafia.

Noo... be quiet, come on...

"Poor... poor Pancrazioooo...."

"The legionaries got him... tied his wrists tight..."

"And the Emperor wanted him DEAD!"

Enough!

Pain in the ass!

Paolo...

If San PPP-Pancrazio could bbb-bear 1,500 lashes...

I, Ernesto, can stop drinking!

You, Ernesto, will never stop drinking cause you're a drunkard...

That's the only feature you've got... why give it up then?

I don't get it...

Paolo...

You're a bbb-bad person.

And you, Ernesto, are a drunkard.

When you... IF you'll ever be an alcoholic, like me, then you will be allowed to speak.

But until then, you gotta stay mmm-mute.

Hi, Anita! -Hi.

What you're looking at, latin lover? Be good...

Do you always hit the center?

Very frequently.

I'm Anita, and you are?

My full name is Zoran Spazzapan. -Full?

Yes, full. Zoran Spazzapan.

I've never seen you... how old are you?

16 yrs and several weeks old. -You talk funny.

I learned Italian from 2 novels:

“Lampi sull'Isonzo” by Giulio Previati and “Lacrime di fanciulla” by Enrico Cosulich...

Two masterpieces, do you know them? -No...

See you soon, Zoran Spazzapan.

Bye, Anita... it's there.

What you're looking at? Stop it...

Play cards, you fool...

Like that... good...

Good... one more time...

He's great...

How do you do that? Once more...

That's crazy! How do you do that?

Here. -Thanks.

Your nephew is a phenomenon. -Yea... psychic...

He could join a dart team. -I wish he'd join the nuthouse.

I've been in a nuthouse once, but I've never seen anyone like that...

No... one time in the nuthouse a guy told me he was the son ... -The son of Virdis...

No! Maradona!

Maradona! None less!

I still have his autograph somewhere...

Must be worth something...

Where did you learn to play darts? -At grandma's... Anja Kovac.

But she could hit the center with a higher frequency.

What else did you do... you and grandma?

We played darts. -Good...

I'd hit the center a number of times equal to 18,712.

Leopardi... how about one more game?

I wish to valuate every possible... -Yea yea, you valuate while we go there.

Each and every competition demands its...

Hush! You talk if you play... you gotta stay mute!

Listen... how good it feels when you don't talk...

So! Are you dart players or not?

Or else, admit you crap your pants in front of a kid.

Three shots each...

Who hits the center the most times, wins.

He says you're cowards.

And the little one wants to challenge the best of you all.

Tell this idiot that what he's talking about it's not the game of darts...

In Slovenia that's "hit the center".

And it's usually done with a bow.

Or a rifle.

Or a handgun at best.

What's he saying?

That here in Slovenia we don't aim at the center.

Let's go, Zagor... we'll look for real men 'stead of these chickens.

He says you're chickens and he never saw such assholes as you.

Tell this walking sausage that he talks too much.

They play!

What else did he say?

He says you're a fatso...

A shit face...

And the kid looks like an idiot.

They're handsome instead, with their sissy t-shirts... let's go, Zagor.

You wanna bet something?

Well...

If we win, we take what's on that table...

Included the 2 salami and the black duck ham.

If we lose, you keep the stuff and I'll pay for it.

Can we start, now?

Mr. Paolo Bressan...

I dislike this environment... I'm afraid I won't take part in the endeavour.

If you don't play, I'm gonna eat one of your arms in front of everybody... is that clear?

In this environment the chaos is unbearable.

Then I'm gonna create absolute silence and you go and hit 3 centers.

Do you get how many centers? -Three. How many? -Three.

Will you shut up goddammit! He's only a kid, show some fucking sensibility!

Filthy animals... go, now.

Good nephew.

You showed those peasants...

Mr. Paolo Bressan... my mother and father also were peasants.

Yea.. it's a figure of speech.... ok ok... you made your point...

Hey...

We've been playing darts for...

...for seven years and I've never seen such precision... the kid is a natural.

I know... I raised him.

You're going to the Championship? -What?

The World Championship in Glasgow... Yuri says it's amazing. -What's the prize.

50,000 pounds... about 60,000 euros... real darts though, not "hit the center".

You just need to sign up via internet.

Thanks!

Maria Pavenel and her husband were peasants, so grandpa and cousin Ushka and her sister were peasants...

As the brothers Josef and Ivan, my distant cousins...

SHUT UP!!!

You gotta stay mute! Pull up your feet...

Gustino... there's the badger outside...

No, mom... it's Bruno, the neighbor's dog.

No... it's the badger.

No, mom... go to bed, goodnight...

It seemed a badger to me... -Good night ,Clara.

We've come to badgers now? -No, please, don't you... just don't...

Pardòn...

Ruthless people...

Keeping a kid up this late...

I don't know...

Where did you take him this late?

Me? Nowhere... we had something important to do...

You? An important thing this late?

So? Important things are not allowed only in daytime...

It's not a matter of time... when you do something important, I get worried... ok?

Then you don't get worried... right? And mind your own business.

Alright... if it's so, I wish you a good night Mr. Bressan...

And if you don't have too many important things to do, close the door when you leave.

Of course, Mr. Liberati... good night to you, to mom and to the badgers.

60,000... dammit... 60,000 euros!

I'll ask 'em all in Pounds... all twenty bills.

A bag this big.

Then I disappear once and for all... enough of this...

A new life, far from this dead country.

And you... I'll leave you on the highway.

So, Zoran... what do you miss most about grandma?

Grandma.

Grandma...

Grandma is unique.

A grandma's love is irreplaceable.

Yes, but if I may add...

Also an uncle can be very important...

Think of Donald Duck....

I was wondering, Mr. Bressan... what made you change your mind in these few days...

And ask the custody of your nephew.

Custody?

I was thinking about a trial period first... for him, for me...

Of course, it's normal...

Tell me, Mr. Bressan...

Which are your motivations?

I remember I had a rabbit as a child...

White.

I named him Flaky.

Grandpa gave it to me... my Flaky...

One day... it seems like yesterday...

I woke up, got up and went outside...

Flakyyyy! Flakyyy!

Where are you, my friend? Flakyyy!

I called him all morning but he never came...

It was strange, because every time I called him...

He got out of a thorn bush, a tree... and jumped happy to me.

Good old Flaky...

Then?

Then my mom told me lunch was ready.

I ate a lot... asked for more...

And then...

At one point...

I looked at grandpa...

Who sat at the head of the table.

And asked him if that morning...

He'd happened to see Flaky...

He laughed and said...

You just ate him!

When I first saw Zagor I immediately though about Flaky...

I couldn't bear it if something terrible happened to my nephew!

That's why i want him with me! To protect him from this world of assassins!

Why?? Why??

Custody! -What? You're insane...

Three days ago you wanted to kill him! -I didn't know him yet, come on...

You can't take care of yourself, how can you look after a kid like Zoran?

Thi smight be my last chance, look at me...

I'm getting old... losing my hair... -Your hair is oily as usual...

And it's not a matter of hair, cause if you go on like this...

You end up in a graveyard with a heart attack....

Hey!

It's just for a short time, if it doesn't work he goes back to the Institute... what's the problem?

Look at me...

You're trying to fool me here.

Yes sir.

Look at him...

Look...

Incredible! Bravo!

What do I do with a retarded kid?

Come on, Gustino... show me some trust, you at least...

If you say so...

Mr. Paolo Bressan...

There's something I don't understand about this situation.

What? -Why you wanna keep me with you.

Because... because... I love you...

Mute! Ok?

Haven't you heard the rabbit story? -Yes...

I thought it was all made up. -No... no...

You have to realize, you're the nephew and I'm the uncle...

Here we are... so...

These are the tickets, leaving from Trieste and arriving in Glasgow.

From Trieste to Glasgow and back.

Yes... these are the seats and that's all... I think we're good.

Hi... -Oh, hi!

Please, no Jugo talk with me...

We're just introducing...

What you're doing here? Don't tell me you're going on a trip...

Uncle is kind enough to take me to Scotland.

Yes... he learned Italian from two old grandma's books...

“Lampi sull'Isonzo” by Giulio Previati and “Lacrime di fanciulla” by Enrico Cosulich...

"Two masterpieces"... "Do you know them?"

No, I'm sorry... never heard about...

So sweet...

Stefanja is your aunt, you know? -Well, sort of...

So, is he staying with you?

Yes... I keep him with me because... -Because he loves me.

Did he told you that?

I never would have thought... -What?

That you could take such responsibility... -Ok ok, I got it...

You underestimate me once again... that's fine, no problem.

You been doing that for years, thanks... let's go, Zagor.

Bye. -Bye...

Goodbye!

So...

If you hit a spot in this circle here...

This one...

The points you score get tripled.

Got it?

I mean...

For example, if you hit the 20... right here...

You score 60 points, which is the top... is that clear?

So, you hit this spot... come on.

Good...

That's good, but you hit the center...

You gotta hit here.

Got it?

Go.

No! Not the center...

I said here... see the 20? Here.

Come on...

No!

Now listen to me...

Your uncle is not rich, he can't support you...

You have to help yourself, or else you know what's gonna happen?

You know what's gonna happen? -I'll be sent to the Institute...

And you don't wanna be sent there... no no no no....

Then if can hit the center, why the hell can't you hit that circle? What's the difference?

No difference, uncle Paolo Bressan, that's indisputable...

It's that grandma Anja Kovac indoctrinated me to hit just the center.

Grandma Anja Kovac is dead! Over! Gone! Kaputt!

But you're not alone.

When you throw a dart, I'm there with you...

This hand... is not just your hand...

It's also my hand... it's poor grandma's hand...

It's your parents'... it's the hand of an entire race of peasants... it's the hand of God, Zagor!

Understand?

Yes, uncle Paolo Bressan... I understand.

Go ahead...

So... I'm going to work now...

You stay here and practice hitting this spot...

Not this, "verboten"... this instead.

Got it? And remember that if you don't learn it's gonna be trouble... expecially for you.

Family House....

Good luck.

Clara, keep an eye on him and drink responsibly.

Who? -There you go...

Bye, Fairy Feather... -Don't touch the hat! Mule!

Don't you play no more?

Not now... I don't feel the right motivations inside me.

I also prefer the old Terrano wine, it was more sour...

Now they're all the same.

Cabernet... Merlot...

They're made for you kids... who don't know nothing about wine.

And... I drank some crappy wines...

Good old days...

Hi, how are you?

Fine, and you?

You know, I thought about it... -What?

Do you wanna be my boyfriend?

It's easy... you just have to kiss me... when we're apart we text each other...

And we buy presents for our birthdays.

An easier question... do you wanna hear me sing?

I would, but uncle set veto for whichever destination apart for this place.

But your uncle's not here, and the lady's asleep...

If you don't come with me, I'm gonna kiss you...

Come on!

He's a moron but harmless... you just agree and show you like porcelain birds.

Porcelain birds... -Uncle Paolo Bressan...

I love to sing. -Good... they're the most important thing to him...

He keeps them in a cupboard and he wants to set an alarm... what a jackass...

How do you see me joining the Doberdò choir?

See? All the main species present in our beloved Carso.

The garden warbler, the common owl, the curlew, the grouse, the hoopoe... do you like them?

They're exquisitely crafted. -You speak erudite, don't you?

My father taught me, see this?

We made it together when I was about your age, it took me one year.

How do you kids say... "cool"...

Epiphany. -What?

Epiphany. -Hey, look out!

Don't worry, it won't break... there's a special concrete fiber inside...

They don't do it like this anymore, they're practically unbreakable.

Hey boys! How about a toast?

Yes yes yes... come on, come on!

Easy... -Alfio... Paolo...

So... the good thing about getting older is to still be surprised by people around you.

To Paolo... with his gesture proved us that we did misjudge him.

Thank you! -To Paolo!

Zoran, don't you drink with us? -Come on...

What the hell...

How did that happen? -I don't know... toasting...

I'm extremely sorry, Mr. Alfio... -You can say that...

No, it's nothing.. it takes a minute... -A minute?

Weren't they unbreakable?

I'm sorry, I can't do this...

What? -I can't do this...

Do what?

The grey heron was a gift from my father... and you both are responsible.

So the lunch is over, you can leave.

But Alfio, please... -Don't get started! No "Alfio please"!

Lunch is over.

Stefanja, show them to the door, please. -Let's go, nephew...

I'm sorry, but...

No no... wait...

Alfio...

Did you understand? -No...

The messiah... has got a secret...

He knows what he wants... do you know what you want? -Hit the circle.

Nooo! I told you the 20! That slice there!

Why?? What keeps you from...

Alright...

Now we stay here until either you make it or your arm falls off... I'm free 'til Tuesday.

Unfortunately, uncle Paolo Bressan, I have to leave in a few minutes.

What?

A friend invited me to the Doberdò choir rehearsal.

No, dear... you first learn to play darts as I say to, come on...

Can you get that in a few days we're leaving for Glasgow?

And we'll play the World Championship of that stuff?

So... what you wanna do? Try again? Watch the messiah again? Tell me.

I'd like to attend the exhibition of the Doberdò choir.

I can practice for about...

FUCK!!!

You think 4 salami are good enough for me?

I have to go. -No...

You stay right here.

Hi! -Hi...

What a nice surprise... -I brought you some lasagna.

Thank you.

I had a quarrel with Alfio and I went for a walk. I'm sorry about that...

Can I come in? -Yes yes... sorry...

Am I interrupting something?

We're about to leave for the Doberdò choir rehearsal...

Isn't that true, uncle Paolo Bressan?

Yes... I'll show the kid some cultural event...

Will you come too, Mrs. Stefanja Varincic? It would be important to me...

Very important...

Why not?

Everybody to the choir!

Yes... go get ready, little nephew... go...

Go...

Well accented, come on!

Who quits the Istrian wine...

No! Again.

Excuse me, maestro... excuse me...

Something incredib-b-ble just happened...

A ppperson just got here, who always said he hated us and our music...

Instead, mmmaestro, he would be a great b-b-baritone...

So I'm asking you a favor...

Invite him to sing a song with us.

Come, Paolo.

Come on.

No... no... don't...

It's so great you're here... you almost make me cry...

Sing "Lord of the peaks"... you remember that one...

How many times we sang it at work?

Don't worry, you're in family here...

I don't remember the lyrics...

It doesn't matter...

I just took my nephew, he's the one who'd love to join the choir.

Don't mind my voice, listen to him... Jugo school, strong stuff...

Come here, that's what you wanted... go sing.

Zoran... what you're singing?

The classical arrangement of "Oчe нaш" (Our Father)... -How does it go?

Oчe нaш... cи нa нeбecи...

We'll try.

This song is to be dedicated to my grandma.

"Our Father..."

"Who art in Heaven..."

Bravo!

Bravo! Good nephew, good!

You're very good with Zoran. -Thanks, I try to do my best...

He didn't even want to come today, I had to convince him.

Why have you given me so much, just to take it all away in 5 minutes?

It's been a lifetime, Stefanja...

I would have forgiven you, but you never made me feel as the only one for you.

You are the only one who can stay beside me.

You fucked my cousin...

And who knows how many others... -She told you this?

"Sorry, it's Christmas, I have to console her..."

I have to go home.

I'll take you... -No, I'll walk...

Stefanja...

What?

Will you come for dinner one of these days? Just you and me.

What about Zoran?

And Zoran too, of course... but he goes to bed early.

It's settled then... if you change your mind he'll be disappointed... Zoran I mean.

Alright...

Alright...

Bye. -Bye... good night.

Yes...

Are you gonna kiss me now?

Blondie!

Let's go!

Let's go already!

Lovely evening... I didn't know the choir was so interesting.

Beautiful.

And you sang pretty well yourself.

It's been beautiful.

Can you only say "beautiful"?

Uncle Paolo Bressan...

May I ask the courtesy to stop for just one second...

You have to piss! Then say "I have to piss"! Don't make it so long every time...

In fact, do a nice thing and go piss on Alfio's plants... that idiot...

Uncle Paolo Bressan... I advise you to leave this location with extreme urgency!

What the hell did you do? There was a camera! -I knocked it down!

Great, nephew!

Uncle Paolo Bressan!

I made it!

Yea I saw... you gonna fuck her for sure... now go...

No... I made it... I hit the slice!

Yes, the slice...

9...

4...

Double 6...

How could you make it? -I practiced all night and I finally made it.

It's the love...

Bravo! Bravo!

Paolo!

Paolo!

Hi, Alfio...

Listen... can you come down for a second, please?

Yes... right away...

Dammit...

You're all dressed up fine...

Fine? Just clean...

Listen, I...

I couldn't sleep last night...

And...

You and me have to talk.

About what?

About what? You know that...

Alfio, first of all we gotta stay calm...

Yes of course... I am calm...

I don't know what's got into me...

When? -When...

I freaked out... I lost my mind... and for what?

For a porcelain bird...

The bird!

If I think of what's really important... fellowship, people...

Few people...

Stefanja, my mom, my grandma, father Walter...

Well, father Walter... -And just a few more...

I don't know... -Come here!

The birdie! Come on....

Hi, Paolo! -Hi...

I was looking for you... -Can I come in?

No... no...

I wanted to... -I came to...

Ok then... we don't need to say it...

Say what?

What we were about to say...

Ok, I'll say it anyway...

You're the most important thing for me, and...

Every day I got left I wanna spend it with you...

Together...

No...

No.

What you mean, no?

I don't want that, Paolo...

Last night I was confused... I made a mistake...

I'm really sorry, but...

I wanna stay where I am now.

With that idiot Alfio?

I love that idiot. -I don't believe that...

See, Paolo, this is your problem... other people's feelings don't matter to you...

My problem is that the woman who should be with me is instead with a....

With a subnormal!

Subnormal?? -Yes!

Tell me why he is a subnormal now? -Why?

Let me guess... might be cause he spends Sundays making porcelain birds?

Yes, just to name one...

Each has his own hobby, Paolo... you spent your Sundays drinking...

Stefanja... if one time...

No no! Stefanja nothing!

I remind you that the subnormal hired you when you couldn't find no job at all!

Nice job! Feeding a bunch of...

And invites you to lunch every Sunday! -Yes, he does!

Cause the subnormal is a kind man!

He's such a subnormal that after 8 years still remembers all my birthdays...

All name-days, anniversaries, which things you didn't do one single time!

I took you on a trip for Valentine's Day!

Yes...

To watch Udinese play an away game...

They lost... and we also slept in the car...

Maybe we better not see each other anymore.

It's better.

And I'll press charge for the heart.

It wasn't me!

This one, I broke it!

This one!

Blondie!

I'm at the choir... Be back tonight. Bye, uncle Paolo Bressan, bon appetit.

Blondie...

Let's go... you gotta practice...

Mr. Paolo Bressan, can we wait just a few minutes... -We go now... move your ass.

Paolo, just let him stay here...

We have to go to Scotland...

Come on... -Uncle, that's in 4 days....

Come on!!!

Fuck! Will someone do what I say for just one time???

Just once!!!

Paolo, my friend... you're alright?

Oh God... go away, you shit... go away...

Go away... -Don't be rude, you're in our home here...

Excuse me... your home...

Me and that one, we got things to do...

And we ain't got time to waste with some idiots.

Ernesto...

Ernesto, what's happening?

Who's there? -"Who's there?"

Go back inside, you ape!

Go sing, you monkey...

Suckers! Suckeeers!

Stop it! Stop it now!

Zoran will stay half an hour m-more, to sing with us! It's you that must leave!

Whay you're thinking?? You come here and insult people!!! People who sing!!!

You hate the choir? What can you understand? You have no feelings!

You're only able to drink and treat others like dirt!

Go away!!!

Let's go!

Inside!

Just go away!

Mr. Paolo Bressan...

I'm sorry, but clearly I'm not adequate...

It's not that I don't love him, on the contrary...

It's that... I'm not able to fit among others.

I have to be alone.

What you're planning to do now?

Well...

I pick up my pieces...

I'll recover fine...

And then I'll just leave.

This time for real.

Are you sure? -Absolutely, why?

Your nephew loves you, Mr. Bressan...

And though I strongly advised against it...

His mind is made up.

About what?

He asked us to go back to live with you.

Are you up for another trial period.

What...

I only ask one small effort from you...

To contain your alcohol abuse.

Zoran would really appreciate that.

He should apply himself to restrain wine abuse if not past 6 p.m. -What...

Except for Sundays.

And I'd like to play darts only when I feel to...

And I'd like to hit the target of my choice.

I forgot...I have one more request.

I'd like him to take lessons of Slovenian language.

That's all for now.

So... is your answer yes?

Very good! I'm extremely happy about that.

For any problem, this is my phone number...

Mr. Bressan... that's for Zoran, please...

Call me at any hour, for any problem.

Thanks. -Good...

Please, wait just a moment...

This is a little gift from me... for your new family.

His name is Elvis.

You know about rabbits, don't you?

Excuse me, Mr. Paolo Bressan....

Can you do me a favor?

Stop calling me like that, you sound like my grandpa...

You can just call me Paolo...

Or "blondie" if you like...

Yes, Paolo... I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything.

Doesn't sound good... not at all good...

We gotta celebrate... how about a drink at Gustino's?

Lend me the phone. -Why?

To call the doctor.

Come on, now... you tell me what are we gonna do until 6 o'clock.

No bullshit though, just nice things cause I wanna live well.

We can take the rabbit for a walk.

And to you, taking the rabbit for a walk is not...

Dammit! You left him in the parking lot!

I must protest! The cage was in your hands!

Yes, but the doctor gave it to you!

But the responsibility of what happened is to be assigned to you...

You can't assign me nothing cause...

Mute!

Uncle Paolo Bressan, you gotta stay mute!

SUBTITLES BY BARISHNIKOV@KICKASS

What you're doing? It's a rabbit, not a cheetah, come on!

It's there! Look...there!

Run! Run!