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1
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:10,776
[rock music]
2
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,278
[door slams]
3
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,714
♪ ♪
4
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:16,648
Ooh!
5
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:21,153
♪ ♪
6
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,454
(woman)
♪ you're the lion ♪
7
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,690
♪ that i'm taming ♪
8
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,960
♪ and now i'm not the same ♪
9
00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:30,963
♪ we're swinging in the jungle,
baby ♪
10
00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:35,100
♪ you're my tarzan,
and i'm your jane ♪
11
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:37,569
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh,
oh-oh ♪
12
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:42,074
♪ oh, i'm wild for you ♪
13
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,643
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh,
oh-oh ♪
14
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:49,281
♪ oh, i'm wild for you ♪
15
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:52,618
♪ wild for you ♪
16
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:57,890
♪ ♪
17
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:58,824
[bed cracks]
18
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,959
[both laughing]
19
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,629
(woman)
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh,
oh-oh ♪
20
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:08,133
♪ oh, i'm wild for you ♪
21
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,640
Good morning.
22
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,376
Good morning.
23
00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:23,615
[laughs]
24
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,851
I can't see out my window.
25
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,821
That's right.
You broke the bed.
26
00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:32,191
I--i did--
you broke your bed.
27
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:35,027
I was just along
for the ride.
28
00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:36,128
[sighs]
29
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:40,699
So tell me about
your first ride.
30
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,601
[laughs]
my first ride?
31
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,502
Yeah.
32
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:47,840
- You're really asking me that?
- Mm-hmm.
33
00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:49,007
Tom amoroso.
34
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,944
- Tom amoroso.
- Yeah.
35
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,580
He took me to
a nirvana concert.
36
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,548
We got drunk,
did it for two minutes
37
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,183
In his dad's pontiac sunfire.
38
00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,919
Nirvana--
what were you, five?
39
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:02,788
Uh...
40
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,923
It was a reunion concert.
41
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,425
It was, like,
a one night only thing.
42
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:09,595
They had this hologram
of kurt cobain.
43
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,029
When was this?
44
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,865
Josh...
45
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:14,666
Oh, man.
46
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,536
How do i say this?
47
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:20,305
This is the easy,
uncomplicated part.
48
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,875
Let's not--
let's don't weigh things down
49
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:27,980
With talk of past
or future.
50
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:32,284
Let's think of ourselves
as, um...
51
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,453
A couple of buddhist monks
52
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:36,488
Just living
in the present moment.
53
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,356
Monks.
54
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:40,993
Well, monks who have dedicated
their lives to lots of sex.
55
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:43,061
Mm.
56
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,464
So stay in the present
57
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,132
And have lots of sex.
58
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:47,833
Mm.
59
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,102
I could probably be persuaded.
60
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:52,738
That's very big of you.
Thank you.
61
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:58,043
Speaking of things
that are big of me...
62
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,278
Seriously?
63
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,180
[upbeat rock music]
64
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:02,748
(man)
♪ whoa, oh, oh ♪
65
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,750
♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
66
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,084
♪ whoa, oh, oh ♪
67
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,387
♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
68
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,988
♪ whoa, oh, oh ♪
69
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,957
♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
70
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,594
♪ wild for you ♪
71
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,296
♪ whoa, oh, oh ♪
72
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,664
♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
73
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,299
[video game explosions]
74
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,601
♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
75
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,169
♪ whoa, oh, oh ♪
76
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:26,138
♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
77
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:29,441
♪ wild for you ♪
78
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:34,446
I am now officially acting
like a 26-year-old monster.
79
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,714
You had sex with him.
80
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,615
Eh...
81
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,751
Not sex per se, at least not sex
as i have come to know it.
82
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:43,188
[giggling]
because it was such good sex.
83
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,056
Yeah?
84
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,524
You know that thing
that people describe
85
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,059
When they're having
a near-death experience
86
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,393
Where they're floating
above their bodies
87
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,195
And can see themselves
on the operating table?
88
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:51,296
- Yeah.
- I had that.
89
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:52,331
- Really?
- Yeah.
90
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,399
Except instead
of watching someone give me cpr,
91
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,268
I was watching myself
in sexual positions
92
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,836
I thought were only theoretical.
93
00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,172
Ooh, fantastic.
Congratulations.
94
00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:01,940
No, it's complicating
everything.
95
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,709
I went over there
to tell him the truth,
96
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:04,509
And then i didn't tell him,
97
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,578
And then i was gonna tell him
this morning,
98
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,412
But the sex was so good
99
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,747
That i realized
that if i told him,
100
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,948
I might not have sex
with him again,
101
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,617
And i really wanted
to have sex with him again,
102
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:13,285
And then i did have sex
with him again.
103
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,820
And this is why i'm a monster,
104
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,089
Some kind
of stealth cougar monster.
105
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:19,324
Liza, you don't have
to do this to yourself.
106
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:20,359
And you don't have to tell him.
107
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,561
What am i supposed to do,
just keep lying to the guy?
108
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,296
He's having sex.
You're not hurting him.
109
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,064
I mean, you're not hurting him,
are you?
110
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:26,999
- Is he into that?
- No.
111
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:29,268
So why don't you just enjoy
yourself for awhile?
112
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,136
What's so hard about that?
113
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:31,903
Nothing.
114
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:35,107
Everything.
You have no idea.
115
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:42,414
I am very happy to announce
that empirical
116
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,316
Is now officially
the publishing house
117
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:47,653
For the english translation
of anton bjornberg's
118
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:48,754
Kaleidoscope of life.
119
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,622
We signed the swede.
120
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,658
[applause]
121
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,393
Now, we're on a tight launch
for the fall,
122
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,228
Which will be not
a small challenge,
123
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:57,929
Because the preliminary
translation
124
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,231
Might as well be in swedish.
125
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:02,000
But i start working with anton
first thing in the morning,
126
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:04,670
And i'm confident
that we can meet that deadline.
127
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:08,040
So i will need marketing
and cover artwork
128
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,508
By the end of this week.
129
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,711
Great.
That's all from me.
130
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:13,712
Damn, girl.
131
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,480
If i didn't know you,
i'd be impressed.
132
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,849
I definitely want you
on my marketing team.
133
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,818
I'm gonna take you
under my wing.
134
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,887
Kelsey, congratulations.
135
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,555
I don't know how you did it,
136
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:24,856
But you did.
137
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,224
I'm here if you need me.
138
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,093
Liza.
139
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:28,960
You're da bomb.
140
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,996
We celebrate tonight, big.
141
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,969
(liza)
to our newest star editor.
142
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,339
I still have to deliver
on the book.
143
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,374
Well,
that ain't no thing...
144
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,575
[laughs]
145
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:44,843
For you to do...
146
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,945
I cannot believe
this is the same girl
147
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,280
I used to have
slumber parties with
148
00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:49,581
And talk about
how we were gonna marry
149
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,451
Jonathan taylor thomas
or andrew keegan.
150
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,986
Oh, my god.
We were obsessed.
151
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,922
Wait.
Which one were you?
152
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:57,923
Which what, now?
153
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,925
Who'd you like better?
154
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,793
Oh, uh,
keegan.
155
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,161
- Oh.
- Ugh.
156
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,062
Liza.
157
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,130
Oh, yeah.
I know.
158
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:06,098
Yeah,
i was a keeger.
159
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,834
Oh, no.
Jt squared all the way.
160
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:09,835
No contest.
161
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:10,702
By the way,
162
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,305
We could so bang
jonathan taylor thomas now.
163
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:14,506
- Yeah, we could.
- Yeah.
164
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:17,008
Yeah, how have
we not banged him yet?
165
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,745
Find out who jonathan taylor
thomas' publicist is,
166
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,246
See if i can bang him.
167
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,782
Also, mark-paul gosselaar.
168
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,218
Also, tiffani amber thiessen.
169
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,052
To kels-bells,
170
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:30,522
All grown up
and taking over the world.
171
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:31,690
Uh-huh.
172
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,191
Hey, don't let me drink
too much tonight.
173
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,394
Okay, i have to be sharp
for bjornberg tomorrow.
174
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:38,663
I get past a certain point,
it's not cute.
175
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:40,065
Don't worry.
I got your back.
176
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,433
You're my girl.
177
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,702
(thad)
hey, hey.
What's up, ladies?
178
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,570
Babe, i thought you had to work.
179
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:48,240
I pawned a few things
off on the assistants,
180
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:49,174
But it's fine.
181
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:49,808
They have it all.
182
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,710
Perfect timing.
You can have my chair.
183
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:52,677
(all)
what?
184
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:53,812
I know.
I know. It's tragic.
185
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,280
I got to jet to this party
in crown heights
186
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,516
Where they're serving sushi
off cisgender models.
187
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,483
- What?
- Don't ask.
188
00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,918
I love you.
I am so proud of you.
189
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,686
Muah. Muah.
Love you.
190
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:06,892
So you remember liza?
191
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:07,692
Who?
192
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:09,461
Oh.
Yeah, hi.
193
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:10,929
Hi. What a pleasant surprise.
194
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,732
Well, i couldn't miss
my girl's big night.
195
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,101
Oh, is there skinny margaritas?
196
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,969
- Yes.
- For a celebration?
197
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,404
Boo, fail, hey.
198
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:23,108
Bro, shotskis over here.
Tequila.
199
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,744
I'm so happy
you're here.
200
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,646
Yeah.
Congratulations.
201
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,513
Thank you.
202
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,248
Hm.
All right.
203
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:33,852
[glasses clinking]
204
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:34,719
Ooh.
205
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:35,587
Another round.
206
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:39,324
Uh, actually, i think that might
be enough for kelsey and me.
207
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,792
What?
You're kidding, right?
208
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,462
Oh, she asked me not to let her
drink too much tonight,
209
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:44,930
So maybe we should cool it
on the shots.
210
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:47,365
Whoa, i thought this
was gonna be a celebration.
211
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,601
Who invited the fun police?
212
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:50,235
Don't stress.
213
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:51,937
I know you girls
make garbage money.
214
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,238
I'll pick up the tab.
215
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,372
I'm not worried
about who's gonna pay.
216
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:57,576
I'm worried about her meeting
with her author in the morning,
217
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:58,443
Which is important.
218
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,645
Sweetie, i move $50 million
in paper each day.
219
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:01,880
You don't see me ruining
220
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:04,082
Everybody else's good time,
do you?
221
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,485
Come on.
You deserve it.
222
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:09,187
Okay.
Just this one.
223
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,822
Okay, and then water.
224
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,558
That's my ride-or-die bitch.
225
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:14,726
[laughs]
226
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,628
Mm.
227
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,463
- Another round.
- Whoo.
228
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,632
You can't leave a shot
on the table.
229
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,168
Liza, party foul.
230
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,736
Kelsey.
231
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:28,006
Okay, can we please get
some waters?
232
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,642
Uno.
233
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,644
Dos.
234
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,012
Yeah, that's cinco.
235
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,848
(man)
♪ don't stop us tonight ♪
236
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,484
[upbeat dance music]
237
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:40,385
Ooh!
238
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:41,253
[shudders]
239
00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:42,921
Remember how you said
you pass a point
240
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:43,955
Where it's not cute?
241
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,056
Oh, yeah.
[laughs]
242
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,125
I think i just passed
that point.
243
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,561
[both laughing]
244
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:54,733
(woman)
♪ ready, set, go ♪
245
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,201
♪ we don't stop
until we're done ♪
246
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,569
♪ take your places
on the floor ♪
247
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:58,970
♪ start it,
three, two, one ♪
248
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,306
Ah, love this song.
249
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:02,307
[laughs]
250
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,575
[thad grunts]
251
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:04,910
Hello.
252
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,645
Have i met you before?
253
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,213
Uh-huh.
254
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,915
Okeydoke.
That's my cue.
255
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:10,882
All right.
Come on.
256
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,083
Yeah, we should go home.
257
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,285
- Yep.
- Home?
258
00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:15,620
What?
We're just getting started.
259
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:16,955
I know what we're gonna do.
260
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:17,689
[laughs]
261
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,157
Oh, this is gonna be
so genius.
262
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,325
We're gonna go.
263
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:23,228
We're gonna see that guy
that liza's been seeing, jeremy.
264
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,629
- Josh?
- Josh.
265
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,331
We're gonna go see
josh at his tattoo parlor
266
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,633
In brooklyn,
and we're all gonna get tattoos.
267
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,101
Babe, you know
i don't do brooklyn.
268
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,436
- No offense.
- Lots taken.
269
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:34,172
Too late.
I already ordered the uber.
270
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,073
[sighs]
271
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,341
This is gonna be epic.
272
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:39,744
I'm gonna commemorate
my first acquisition.
273
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,546
I got to do something swedish.
274
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,482
Like, a little volvo
on my left boob
275
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,351
Or--or a meatball.
276
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:47,786
Okay.
Thad's going home.
277
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,654
I'm going home.
We're all going home.
278
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,356
Oh, i thought
i was your ride-or-die bitch.
279
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:54,559
You are, especially
if that ride's going back
280
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:55,727
To my place right now.
281
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,862
No.
Tattoos.
282
00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,898
Fine.
I'm out of here.
283
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,266
What?
Fine.
284
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:04,102
Go home and finish
binging gilmore girls.
285
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:07,072
He loves that show.
286
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,573
Our uber's here.
287
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:09,874
[squeals]
let's go.
288
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:10,875
Oh.
289
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:12,577
(man)
♪ la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪
290
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:13,945
(man)
♪ i'm a player, baby ♪
291
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:14,946
I can't believe
thad didn't come.
292
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,616
That might have been the
smartest thing thad's ever done.
293
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:18,783
Listen to me,
right now
294
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,852
You need to be more concerned
about your meeting
295
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,787
With anton bjornberg
in the morning.
296
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,588
Bjornberg?
297
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:27,225
[laughs]
he's so cute.
298
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:28,893
Oh.
299
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,295
I mean,
300
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:33,398
Look at those smoldering eyes.
301
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,500
They're very smoldering.
302
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,002
Okay, i get it.
I know.
303
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:40,672
You're all sober
and blah and snore.
304
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:41,873
Don't try to tell me
305
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,576
That you're not just
a little bit excited
306
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:45,944
To visit josh again.
307
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,013
Just teeny, weeny bit.
308
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,749
Just a teeny, weeny,
little baby bit.
309
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:51,816
[laughs]
310
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,585
[laughs]
311
00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:54,419
Stop.
312
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,787
That's more like it.
313
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:56,621
[laughs]
314
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:59,224
[groans]
he's hot.
315
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:02,961
"you are hot."
316
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:03,828
Send.
317
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,097
- Uh. Yeah.
- Send?
318
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,298
What do you mean,
"send"?
319
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,933
Please tell me you did
not just send
320
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:11,803
Our prized new author
a text that says, "you are hot."
321
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:15,006
Okay.
I won't tell you, then.
322
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,041
But i did.
323
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,142
[laughs]
324
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:21,379
You should see your face
right now.
325
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,714
[laughing]
326
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,849
(man)
♪ yo, yo ♪
327
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:25,950
[kelsey laughing]
328
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,585
(liza)
all right.
Just get out.
329
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:28,753
(man)
♪ what we gonna do? ♪
330
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:30,422
- Careful.
- Oh, no.
331
00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:32,791
(liza)
all right, see, i told you.
It's closed.
332
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,125
How is this even possible?
333
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,960
'cause it's after midnight
on a weekday,
334
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:36,995
And he's not a coke dealer.
335
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,663
All right,
can we get in the cab now?
336
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:39,764
Come on, let's go.
Let--
337
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,200
Wait. Wait. Okay, wait, wait.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
338
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,735
Didn't you tell me
that he lived here?
339
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,538
You did.
You--i know it. I know it.
340
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,772
He lives right there.
341
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,407
But he's obviously out
or already asleep.
342
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,177
- Okay, well, call him.
- No, that's not gonna happen.
343
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:53,311
No, call him.
344
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,412
- Call him.
- Stop.
345
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:55,547
I didn't come all the way--
346
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:56,748
- Stop! Stop!
- [yelps]
347
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,783
I didn't come here
to not get a tattoo!
348
00:11:58,785 --> 00:11:59,617
Call him!
349
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,921
No, i don't want to bother him.
350
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,122
Josh!
351
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:04,989
Stop it.
352
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,758
Seriously,
are you--are you insane?
353
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,326
- I'm sorry.
- Will you please--
354
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,062
(liza)
oh, my gosh.
You can't do that.
355
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,297
- Are you crazy?
- Wake up!
356
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,431
Are you insane?
Stop it.
357
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,400
[kelsey babbling indistinctly]
358
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:19,104
[both yelling at once]
359
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:19,904
Ha!
360
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,072
[glass shatters]
361
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,374
[gasps]
362
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:30,949
[retching]
363
00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:36,454
Liza.
364
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,489
[sighs]
i'm so sorry.
365
00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:38,490
My friend's really drunk,
366
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:40,859
And she just threw a rock
through your window.
367
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,794
I'm so much better now.
368
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,329
I'm going back inside.
369
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,265
- Liza--
- uh, no.
370
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,366
We shouldn't have come.
371
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,801
- Um...
- I'm gonna get a tattoo.
372
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,970
No, we're gonna, uh--
i'll pay for that window.
373
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,171
All right.
It's okay. Taxi!
374
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,572
(kelsey)
wait. I didn't get a tattoo.
375
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:57,075
Liza, will you just wait
one second, please?
376
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,077
I have to get her home, okay?
377
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,212
[sighs]
378
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,916
(liza)
you and all the tequila
you drank
379
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,584
Need to get in that cab
this instant!
380
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:07,752
- [yelps]
- get in there!
381
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:08,853
(kelsey)
okay.
382
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,355
(josh)
liza.
383
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,759
Liza.
384
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:20,331
Two years of no sex.
385
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,000
And the second
i dip my toe back in,
386
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,301
This is what i get.
387
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,136
I mean, it's not like i have
any claims on the guy.
388
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,539
I mean, i'm the one who said,
"let's keep it light."
389
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:28,706
It's just--i just can't believe
390
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,875
That he would jump into bed
with somebody else
391
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,177
Right after he'd been with me.
392
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,512
Doesn't his penis
ever need a break?
393
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,214
[laughs]
welcome to 26.
394
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:39,484
That moment
when i saw them together,
395
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,953
My stomach just dropped.
396
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,421
Maybe i was wrong.
397
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,291
Maybe this is more
than just fun.
398
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,827
No, it's definitely
not fun anymore.
399
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:59,070
[phone alarm buzzing,
dinging]
400
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,608
[groans]
401
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,611
[groans]
402
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:12,317
(kelsey)
hey, it's kelsey.
Don't leave a message.
403
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,685
I never check this.
404
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,652
[voice mail beeps]
405
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,187
Kelsey, where are you?
406
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,856
Bjornberg is here.
407
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,490
(diana)
liza.
408
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,492
Why is anton bjornberg
sitting by himself
409
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:22,627
In our conference room?
410
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:25,029
Uh, he's here for his first
meeting with kelsey.
411
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:29,167
Well, that explains why he's
sitting in our conference room,
412
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,935
But not the "by himself" part.
413
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,937
Kelsey has been
slightly delayed.
414
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:33,905
How delayed?
415
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,273
That is undetermined
at this time.
416
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,775
What are you,
the white house press secretary?
417
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:41,379
If you don't tell me,
i can't fix it.
418
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,180
[sighs]
419
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:43,848
She was worked up about today
420
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,250
And nervous about the deal,
421
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,718
So i gave her some ambien.
422
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,256
There is a slight possibility
she may still be asleep.
423
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,790
Oh, dear god.
424
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,961
Anton.
Diana trout, head of marketing.
425
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:57,996
- Hello.
- Hi.
426
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:01,065
This is my associate, liza...
Something.
427
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,001
Kelsey's been slightly detained.
428
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,670
Uh, let's chat a bit
about marketing.
429
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,772
I'd be very interested
in your input.
430
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,841
My input is
i don't care about marketing.
431
00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:12,510
And if you understood anything
about my work,
432
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,712
You would know that about me.
433
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:19,450
You know what, perhaps
i've made a mistake here.
434
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,601
Hey, i'm here.
I'm here.
435
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,635
Oh, good, because he's gone
436
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:38,937
Along with his book, probably.
437
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,639
What? You guys couldn't have
kept him here for five minutes?
438
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:45,009
I tried, started talking to him
about marketing.
439
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:48,413
God, that's--that's the worst
thing you could have done.
440
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:49,547
Really?
441
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,382
Worse than not showing up?
442
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,584
I don't think so.
443
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,455
We really did
try to stall him.
444
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,425
Liza, seriously, i thought you
had my back last night.
445
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,293
Thanks for nothing.
446
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,494
What?
447
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,697
I told you to not let me
get too drunk.
448
00:16:05,699 --> 00:16:07,699
News flash: I tried
my best to stop you.
449
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:10,168
But you started doing shots like
a lohan once thad showed up.
450
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,103
And then you insisted on
going all the way to brooklyn,
451
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,939
Dragged me down to josh's place
for a ridiculous swedish tattoo,
452
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,407
And then you threw a rock
through his window.
453
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,277
Oh, and i did i mention he was
with another girl at the time?
454
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,311
So thanks for that.
455
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,013
Well, i don't remember
any of that.
456
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,915
And while it does sound awful,
457
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:25,350
If you had been
a proper wingwoman,
458
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,884
None of that would have
happened.
459
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:30,788
I don't--i don't even have words
to describe how crazy you sound.
460
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,690
You sound like a 50-year-old.
461
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,791
50? How dare you.
462
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,426
You know, you asked me
to look out for you,
463
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:39,163
And then i do,
and you accuse me of acting...
464
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,499
Significantly older than i am.
465
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,602
You know, you can rant
and deflect blame all you want,
466
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:48,206
Or you can own this,
take responsibility for it,
467
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,841
And go fix it.
468
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:54,912
You're right.
469
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,247
I'm sorry.
470
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,548
And i'm sorry you had
to walk in
471
00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:01,419
On josh taking some girl
to poundtown.
472
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:02,653
Technically, i didn't see
473
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:07,158
Any of the actual voyage
to poundtown.
474
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,727
She was really pretty, though.
475
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,963
I bet she's stupid.
476
00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:12,930
She looked stupid.
477
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:13,965
Like a big stupid cow.
478
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,600
You don't even remember.
479
00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:26,744
[kelsey sighs]
480
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,147
[bell rings]
481
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,317
Hi.
482
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:36,687
Well, our meeting was
two hours ago.
483
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:37,655
Yeah.
484
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,658
I was late this morning
because signing you
485
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,261
Is the biggest thing
that has ever happened to me.
486
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:46,631
And i was so excited,
i went out to celebrate,
487
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,032
And i got drunk--
488
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:49,367
Really drunk--
489
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:50,668
And i overslept.
490
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,270
And i'm so sorry.
491
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:53,471
It won't happen again.
492
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,173
I promise you that.
493
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,409
Will this happen again?
494
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,612
God, no.
No.
495
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:05,183
That will never
happen again either.
496
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,318
Okay.
497
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,686
I'll see you tomorrow, then.
498
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,588
See you tomorrow.
499
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,765
We both get one mistake.
500
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:29,040
[laughs]
501
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,848
Hi.
502
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,253
Hey.
503
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,791
All right, so, um...
504
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,694
Listen, she is a girl
that i used to date.
505
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:52,864
And occasionally
she still comes over.
506
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:56,267
And last night,
it was unannounced.
507
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,435
I'm sorry.
508
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:58,870
No, i'm sorry.
509
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,071
I was unannounced.
510
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:01,973
I would have to told you
about her sooner,
511
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,942
But you said you didn't want
to talk about the past, so.
512
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,010
And is she?
513
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:08,179
Not that
that's any of my business.
514
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,580
Totally.
515
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:13,017
Yes.
516
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,185
What about you?
517
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:14,886
Huh?
518
00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:17,388
What's the story
with your last relationship?
519
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,357
[chuckles]
520
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,058
It's so boring.
521
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,393
I mean, seriously?
522
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:26,397
We broke the bed
in three different places.
523
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,399
[laughs]
524
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,601
[laughs]
525
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:34,238
Um...
526
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,274
It was awhile ago.
527
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,142
He was a poet when we met.
528
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,811
He's really talented, actually.
529
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:43,214
But then life happened,
530
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,782
And he needed
to make some money,
531
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:48,219
So he gave up on his dreams.
532
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:52,023
I had a relative
533
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,524
Become dependent on me,
534
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,793
So, you know,
that changed me.
535
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:59,730
And then he cheated on me,
so i left.
536
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:04,368
For india.
537
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,205
Yes,
for india.
538
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,206
Wow.
539
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:12,143
That is some heavy stuff
for a college relationship.
540
00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:15,146
Well, it was an ivy league
school.
541
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:21,252
Do you think that i can maybe
have another chance?
542
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:25,856
I'm all about second chances.
543
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:34,598
(woman)
♪ ooh ♪
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