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1
00:00:01,218 --> 00:00:02,698
I'm gonna miss you so much,
2
00:00:02,741 --> 00:00:04,830
but we can speak on the computerso you'll see my face.
3
00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:06,919
But we won't be able
to touch you.
4
00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,269
Hey, look.
You'll still have me.
5
00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:11,228
-Just you?-Yes. Just-- Your father. Hi.
6
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:25,286
[bell clangs]
7
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:28,419
We have been invited
to a highly exclusive event.
8
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:31,292
We will be spending
this Sunday evening
9
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:35,905
at our neighbor Sean's
Superb Owl party.
10
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:38,212
Vampires have huge respect
for owls.
11
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:40,083
One: they're nocturnal,
12
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,954
two: they're predators,
and three:
13
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:45,523
they don't give a hoot
where they dump their scat.
14
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:46,916
NADJA:
The party we're going to
15
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:48,700
is celebrating the Superb Owl,
16
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,746
who is the greatest owl
of all time.
17
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:53,357
Do you think we're going to getto touch its little beak?
18
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,229
Depends what mood he's in.
19
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:59,146
Yeah, I know
it's a Super Bowl party, but
20
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,496
I tried to correct them
and they wouldn't listen.
21
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:04,194
That's the owl's egg.
22
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:07,154
Also, I didn't try
all that hard.
23
00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:09,373
["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]
24
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:11,723
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long♪
25
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,378
♪ They have no use
for your song♪
26
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,946
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead♪
27
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:19,818
♪ You're dead
and out of this world♪
28
00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:24,301
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone♪
29
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:27,348
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world♪
30
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,393
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead♪
31
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:33,136
♪ You're dead
and out of this world.♪
32
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:36,313
♪
33
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:45,844
Remember, no killing
at this Superb Owl party...
34
00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:47,194
-Super Bowl.
-...out of respect
35
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,979
for our good friend
and host, Sean.
36
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,154
NANDOR:
Once this evening is over,
37
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,547
Guillermo will have
a nice assortment
38
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:54,331
-of virgins for us.
-[laughs]
39
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:55,941
[doorbell rings]
40
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,726
Oh-- and behave.
41
00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:59,249
-[groans]
-Blend in.
42
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,511
This is an all-human party.
43
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:01,773
Hey!
44
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,645
You guys made it! Nadja...
45
00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:06,952
Nandor... My man Laz...
46
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,215
Dilbert-looking guy.
47
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,304
[chuckles]
So, what are you waiting for?
48
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:13,089
Get your rears in gear
and get in here.
49
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,264
-[laughs]
-That counts.
50
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:15,744
SEAN:
All right, come on!
51
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,572
Yo, Charmaine!
52
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,226
Look who it is.
53
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,576
-Our European neighbors
from next door.
-Oh.
54
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,404
Could you run to the ShopRite
and grab a few more bags
55
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:25,188
of those Tostitos Hint of Limes
56
00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:26,407
before you start drinking?
57
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:27,582
SEAN:
First off, I already started.
58
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:28,844
-[Charmaine groans]
-What?
59
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,585
-What?
-Now you're catching
an attitude?
60
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:32,587
-Right in front of our guests?
-[mouth full]: Well,
this is my house.
61
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,241
I can catch whatever I want.
62
00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:35,459
Why don't you go catch it
somewhere else?
63
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:37,331
Oh, shut up. [groans]
64
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:38,549
SEAN:
It's always something
with this one.
65
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,203
Anyway, come on in.
66
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,771
Listen, we're sort of
a no-shoes household,
67
00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:45,208
-so, uh...
-I'm not taking my shoes off
for anyone.
68
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,384
That's fine, Laz.
69
00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,430
GUILLERMO:
Virgins, virgins, virgins...
70
00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:53,347
[scoffs] Stupid. I don't know
why I always do that.
71
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:56,132
You know, I've been thinking
about my lineage lately,
72
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,047
and just because
I have Van Helsing blood in me
73
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:01,224
doesn't mean that I'm destined
to be this vampire killer.
74
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:02,356
[grunts]
75
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:05,010
Get back!
76
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,621
I'm sure that
somewhere along the line
77
00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:08,144
there was an amazing baker
78
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,624
in my family, right?
79
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:10,929
But does that make me
an amazing baker?
80
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:14,281
Actually, I am a really,
really good baker.
81
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,067
Oh, no.
82
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,460
COLIN:The thing with motion smoothing
83
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:20,635
that you have to remember
84
00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:23,855
is, you want it on
for sporting events
85
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,292
but off for TV and movies.
86
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,816
Even take a football movie,
87
00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:30,949
like 1974's The Longest Yard,
88
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:33,169
starring mustachioed actor
Burt Reynolds.
89
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,518
Dude, you're--
you're blocking kickoff.
90
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,390
Well, better to not watch
the game at all
91
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:39,044
than to watch
in the wrong format, right?
92
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,045
NADJA:
Colin, enough!
93
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,438
They want the owl.
94
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,310
So, do you have any knowledge
95
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,746
of the owl's temperament
tonight?
96
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,835
Uh, I hope it's not too fussy.
97
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:49,490
Who, Charmaine?
No, she's always like that.
98
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,318
-[laughter]
-CHARMAINE: What'd you say,
Frankie?
99
00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:53,102
-FRANK: Oh, nothing.
-[groans]
100
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,538
You still owe me $100
for that pizza night.
101
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,540
-Oh, get out of here!
-No, you don't get to talk
102
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,499
-until you give me that pizza...-I paid you back two weeks ago.
103
00:03:58,542 --> 00:03:59,717
-SEAN: Get off it, Charmaine!
-He never paid me back.
104
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,197
-Get off it!
-100 bucks for pizza?
105
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,330
Ugh, Nadia, you must be
miserable in here.
106
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:04,505
All this testosterone. Come on.
107
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:05,506
The other wives are having
108
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:06,289
a little powwow in the kitchen.
109
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,291
-Sean has more wives?
-SEAN: I wish.
110
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,553
Excuse me?
111
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:10,946
-Nothing, nothing.
-Yeah, that's what I thought.
112
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:12,339
MIKEY [chuckling]:
Busted.
113
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,341
So, how come we never see
you guys around here
114
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,517
-during the regular season?
-SEAN: Believe me, I tried
115
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,561
to get 'em to hang,
116
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,433
but they never seem to be aroundduring the day.
117
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,521
You know, come to think of it,
118
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,523
I really only see them at night.
119
00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,438
It's like they're, uh, vampiresor something.
120
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,701
[laughter]
121
00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:36,014
-[men shouting indistinctly]
-Get in.
122
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:37,364
Fuck.
123
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:39,017
You heard what he said.
124
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,367
He knows we're vampires.
125
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,282
[knock on door]
126
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:47,374
Um, ocupado.
127
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:50,246
Yes. Uh, we are just taking
a nice shit together.
128
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,813
WOMAN:
I-I'll come back.
129
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:54,729
I think we need to...
[growls softly]
130
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,818
-What, "whack" him?
-Yes.
131
00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:58,472
No, if we "whack" him,
132
00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,387
we'll have to "whack" everybody.
133
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,432
The place will be
a fucking bloodbath.
134
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,478
But he knows our dark secret.
135
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:05,914
All right.
136
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:09,483
Let's get him to a private placewhere we'll both hypnotize him.
137
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,398
He'll forget everything.
138
00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:15,227
-Good old double hypnosis.
-Yes.
139
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:18,013
GUILLERMO:
It's tough finding new groups
of virgins.
140
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:21,756
Tried joggers. Hard to catch
and very sweaty and slippery.
141
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,235
Tried incels.
Definitely virgins.
142
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,150
But very bitter, apparently.
143
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:28,371
"Mosquito Collectors
of the Tristate Area."
144
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:31,287
Beep, beep, beep. Nerd alert.
[chuckles]
145
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,245
I'm kidding.
146
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,552
They are nerds, though.
They're probably virgins.
147
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:39,861
Sourcing food for my master
does have its benefits.
148
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,298
It gives me a chance to search for my own food.
149
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,865
And save some for later.
150
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,389
So, um,
151
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:49,566
how long have you guys been, uh,collecting mosquitoes for?
152
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,438
Seems like it would take up
a lot of your time
153
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:52,961
and it wouldn't leave much timefor anything else.
154
00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:55,093
Dating.
155
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:58,532
What makes you so interested
in mosquito collecting, son?
156
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:01,622
-Well?
-Uh, I love insects.
157
00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,973
Mosquitoes
158
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:07,628
are an evil, deadly species.
159
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:10,848
Doesn't the fact that they drinkhuman blood sicken you?
160
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:13,329
-Yeah.-CLAUDE: Yeah? Sure about that?
161
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,200
You guys are the ones
with the mosquito club.
162
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:16,506
-[chuckles] Just...
-What about
163
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,465
other creatures
that drink human blood?
164
00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:21,729
Creatures with sharp teeth
and stupid accents?
165
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,255
You...
166
00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:29,432
Y-You mean, um, vampires?
167
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,434
You said that, not me.
168
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,436
You did.
169
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,569
But yeah.
170
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:38,615
Do evil, bloodsucking vampires
sicken you?
171
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:43,098
Yeah. Yeah.
172
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,274
-They make me sick.
-You sure about that?
173
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,668
Yeah, I want to throw up
right now.
174
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:50,627
Well, brother,you've come to the right place.
175
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:51,672
He's worthy.
176
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:53,500
-Yes.
-Yes.
177
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,502
-Come on, guys. He's worthy.
-TONYA: Oh.
178
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:56,807
Like we practiced.
179
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,287
[whooping]
180
00:06:58,330 --> 00:06:59,419
-Activate.
-Yes!
181
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,120
CLAUDE:
Huh?
182
00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,122
Holy...
183
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:16,740
-You guys are vampire hunters.
-[Derek chuckles]
184
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:17,959
Hell, yeah, we are.
185
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:19,613
Yeah, that mosquito thing?
It's all a cover.
186
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,136
Actually,
you're the first person
187
00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:22,659
we've gotten to do
that cool reveal for.
188
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:23,747
Wow.
189
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:30,754
Moving around like a l-lunatic.Put a collar
190
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:31,755
on the guy, you know?
191
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:32,843
[laughs]
192
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:35,716
[laughs]
Great joke, assholes.
193
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,587
-[laughs]
-We were just saying
what a beautiful house
194
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:39,371
-you have.
-Oh, thanks.
195
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,548
Yes. Uh, we were also wondering
196
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:44,725
if it has an attic
or basement or...
197
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,770
-Yeah.
-...dark, soundproof room
198
00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:48,424
you could show us?
199
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,947
Oh, you guys want a tour.
200
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,993
[chuckles]:
Yeah, sure. So, these steps
201
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:54,561
were built by my Uncle Fulvio
in 2011.
202
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:56,563
-[laughs]
-And then Sean says to me,
203
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,521
"Why don't we wait to celebrateour anniversary until after
204
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,305
"I get back
from the Islanders game?
205
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,568
-If they win."
-What?
206
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,787
-[all groan]
-LIZA: My Ronnie did
207
00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:05,659
the exact same thing to me,
only he did it
208
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,617
on the same day
as my sister's funeral.
209
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,140
-CHARMAINE: No.
-Are you kidding?
-Yeah. He said that...
210
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,099
NADJA:
I had completely forgotten
that when a human
211
00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:15,233
takes a mate, the mate keepsgrowing and changing and aging.
212
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:16,321
-LIZA: He said that.
-Wow.
213
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:18,541
Can I ask you all, m-my ladies,
214
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,761
you are all
such strong, beautiful,
215
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,677
-vicious, vibrant women.
[chuckles]
-Yes. [chuckles]
216
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,941
How did you all end up married
to such boiled potatoes?
217
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,333
[all laugh]
218
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,553
You know what, though?Seanie used to be so thoughtful.
219
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:31,902
He was so sweet.
220
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,425
When my dog had to get put down,
221
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,775
he brought me flowers
for a month straight.
222
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:35,819
WENDY:
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
223
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:36,820
CHARMAINE:
Yeah, what happened to us?
224
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,430
NADJA:
These poor women.
225
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:40,215
They take a lovely,
handsome chap
226
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:42,826
from the street,
make him their husband,
227
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,263
and then,
in the blinks of an eye,
228
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:48,179
he becomes
a big, lazy sack of shit.
229
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:49,485
So sad.
230
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,791
All right.
Who needs some more wine?
231
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,270
I think
that this bottle's turned,
232
00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:53,750
-but it'll still
get the job done.
-Yes, please.
233
00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:55,143
-[Charmaine laughs]
-You love wine.
234
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,797
-WENDY: Oh, yeah.
-CHARMAINE: Hey, Joanie.
235
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,234
What, are you lost? Do you wantto go back up to bed?
236
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,018
Oh, what kind of movie
are you making?
237
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:02,063
-There's a camera.
-CHARMAINE: Oh.
238
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:03,151
You should get back up to bed.
239
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,718
-Oh, we love wine.
-[glass shatters]
240
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:05,849
WENDY:
Holy shit.
241
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:07,851
-What?
-JOAN: It's you.
242
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,505
I-It's you. I-I used
243
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,941
to see you sitting
up in the tree.
244
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,770
No, Ma, this is
our next-door neighbor.
245
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:16,207
I'm sorry about her.
This is Sean's mom.
246
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:18,819
The neurologist
has her on Aricept now,
247
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,734
but when the sun goes down,
she gets a little mixed up.
248
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,649
You transformed yourself
into a cat.
249
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,825
-[laughs]
-You taught me the dance
250
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:26,957
-of the ancient soothsayer.
-NADJA: Ooh!
251
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,393
Calm yourself, dear.
252
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:29,612
You're just feeling
a little bit demented,
253
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:30,787
that's all.
254
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:32,746
I'm so sorry about your brain.
255
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:35,009
Oh, yeah, everythingshe's saying is completely true.
256
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,837
I am Nadja.
257
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,056
Sean's mother Joanie grew up
right here in this house.
258
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,667
We used to have
so much fun together.
259
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:44,322
I used to pin her
to the ceiling for hours.
260
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,324
She cried and cried.
261
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,109
-I know you.
-Guys, uh, can you help
get Ma back up to bed?
262
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,719
I know her. I know who she is.
263
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:51,852
NADJA: She used to be
such a cute, little
264
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:52,766
fresh-faced girl.
265
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:55,551
But now she just looks
like an elephant's knee.
266
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,292
-Okay, don't make me
pick you up, Joan.
-NADJA: Sorry
267
00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,859
-about how demented you are. Oh.-[Charmaine sighs]
268
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,644
SEAN:
And here it is.
The crown jewel of the home.
269
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,081
The world's largest collection
270
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,083
of Ocean's Twelvememorabilia.
271
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,520
Brad Pitt's tinted sunglasses
from when
272
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,566
he first meets Baron Toulour.
Ooh!
273
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,656
Scott Caan bobblehead,
mint condish. Yeah, it's like,
274
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,876
they did some decent
world-building in Eleven,
275
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,660
but it all pays off
in Ocean's Twelve.
276
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:20,097
You need to fucking stop talkingabout the sea.
277
00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:22,317
-What?
-We know that you know
our secret.
278
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,492
What secret?
279
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,015
That we are vampires.
280
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,887
You said it downstairs in front
281
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:29,541
-of all of your round friends.
-I was just joking.
282
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:31,805
You're not vampires.
Get the fuck out of here.
283
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:34,111
Yes, we are.
284
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,897
[gasps]
Whoa! How are you doing this?
285
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:39,160
Where are the wires?
How are you doing that?!
286
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,815
I'm thinking
maybe he didn't know.
287
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,338
-So, we shouldn't hypnotize him?-[gasps]
288
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,775
-No, now we definitely should.
-Oh, fuck.
289
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,559
Vampires are real.
290
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:50,301
-Vampires are real!
-Let the double hypnosis
291
00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:51,912
-commence.
-[gagging]
292
00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:53,174
We command
293
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,132
-that you forget...
-You forget
294
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:59,920
-everything.
-...that we are vampires,
please.
295
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:01,922
[grunts, gasps]
296
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,967
I think it's worked.
297
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,839
What happened?
298
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,710
Quite all right, Sean?
299
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:08,711
Uh, yeah, totally.
300
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:11,061
But wh-who's Sean?
301
00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:14,282
Shit. He's forgotten everything.
302
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:17,154
CLAUDE:
So, what are some of the terms
we use for vampires?
303
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:18,721
Mosquitoes.
304
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,942
Suckers. Biters.
305
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:22,986
GUILLERMO [whispering]:
I know that it seems like
306
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:25,075
a big coincidence that I go outlooking for virgins
307
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,948
and find a secret den
of vampire hunters,
308
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,645
but this is no coincidence.
309
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,125
Okay? It's like
the universe has been trying
310
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:32,996
to tell me for a long time,
"Hey, Guillermo."
311
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,868
And I've been like, "I don't
know, I don't think so."
312
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,130
But now like, "Hey, Guillermo.
313
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,785
Yeah, dude. Yeah."
314
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:39,916
CLAUDE:
Familiars
315
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,571
are pathetic,
316
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:46,314
lonely, desperate, low-IQ,
317
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:49,143
sad losers.
318
00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:51,798
They live to do the bidding
of their cruel,
319
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,974
uncaring masters.
320
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,584
Okay, gonna open up the floor to
321
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:58,195
any thoughts and/or suggestions.
322
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,806
Oh, um, Claude, okay.
323
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:02,678
One idea that I had is, uh,
324
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,985
that I think that we should
all have sex with each other.
325
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,988
'Cause that way if any of us
is a virgin, then, you know,
326
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,685
we wouldn't be any longer.
327
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,600
And then it would prevent us
from being targeted
328
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,254
-by vampires.
-Derek...
329
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:15,386
you need to stop
suggesting that.
330
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,867
Okay, yeah, yeah,
to-totally, yeah.
331
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:22,916
Knock, knock, Joanie.
332
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:25,048
Miss Nadja, is it really you?
333
00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:26,963
Yes, of course it is me.
334
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,009
I was lying down there.
335
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:32,360
Oh, I've missed you so much,
my little Joanie!
336
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:35,406
So, did you have a good life?
337
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,147
Uh, yes.
338
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:39,497
I-I think so. Oh!
339
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:41,935
I took a trip to Nova Scotia
at one point.
340
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:44,459
[Nadja whoops, laughs]
341
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:47,462
And did you marry
that boy you liked?
342
00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:48,985
-Franklin?
-Yeah.
343
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:51,031
Oh, yes, I...
344
00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,728
Oh, wow, look.
345
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,949
You were very beautiful
for a very brief moment.
346
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:56,950
Wait.
347
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:59,256
Where did you get this necklace?
348
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,041
This is my necklace.
349
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:03,739
-Pardon?
-The jade one in this photo.
350
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,395
You motherfucker!
351
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,223
It was my prized jade necklace.
352
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:11,225
It was given to me by my mother when I was young,
353
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:14,010
just before she was
eaten by a bear.
354
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,664
I should have known
you would have stolen it!
355
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,971
You were always
a sneaky little human shit!
356
00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:21,322
You know, if you listen to it,you can still hear her screams.
357
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:23,280
-[distorted screaming]
-It was the type of jade
358
00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:24,891
that absorbs human screams.
359
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,893
And she was really screaming.
360
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,896
So it took it very strongly.
Thieving bitch!
361
00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:31,636
Give it back to me!
362
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,203
You little brat, where is it?!
363
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:34,639
I don't know what you're
talking about!
364
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:35,989
You are a lying piece
of old cabbage!
365
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:39,079
But I don't know what
you're talking-- help!
366
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:41,908
Help! I'm having
an episode! Help!
367
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,910
-She attacked me!
-Oh, no, she didn't.
368
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,912
-Oh, she-she did.
-Nadia, go.
369
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,739
Go enjoy yourself,
we'll take care of her.
370
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,480
-Ma, she didn't attack you.
-She-she did.
371
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,918
Mama? Mama?
372
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,528
Scream for me.
373
00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:58,011
My mother gave it to me.
374
00:13:58,054 --> 00:14:00,927
She said, um, "I can't
wait to see you wear this
375
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:04,104
for the rest of your life
every minute of every day."
376
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:05,975
And then, honestly,
the next day,
377
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,672
walked out the house
and bam-- bear.
378
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:10,371
Mama, scream for me
if you're here.
379
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:13,113
That is worse than a bible--
that burns my eyes.
380
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,115
[hisses]
381
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:17,378
Mama?
382
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,947
Mama!
383
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:27,301
COLIN:
Sure, the guys on the field
are having a good time today,
384
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:30,086
but they're not gonna be havingsuch a good time in 20 years.
385
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:31,914
That's when they'll have
386
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,525
applesauce sloshing
around in their skulls.
387
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:37,833
Has anyone heard the ancient
screams of a very large woman?
388
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,139
ANNOUNCER:
What a throw by...
389
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,837
-[screams]
-The halftime show--
390
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,795
a lot of people consider that
to be the highlight.
391
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,493
I like the commercials.
392
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:48,148
I like to see what they come
up with for the Clydesdales
393
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,933
-each year.
-All right, bros, who's ready
394
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:54,632
for piping-hot nachos
fresh from the microwave?
395
00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,505
FRANK:
Uh, Sean, those are batteries.
396
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,986
LASZLO:
It is possible
to over-hypnotize,
397
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,162
and I fear
398
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,946
that's what we've done
with Sean.
399
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,340
You see, there's various
levels of over-hypnosis.
400
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,995
If it's not too serious, it's
what's called "Weak Brain."
401
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:12,389
If it's slightly worrying, it's called "Thoughtless Sallies."
402
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:15,088
And if it's a fucking nightmare and you can forget about him,
403
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:16,393
it's "Brain Scramblies."
404
00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:17,742
Yes! Yes!
405
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:19,875
[all cheering, clamoring]
406
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:23,357
Go, go, yeah,
no, oh, come on!
407
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,012
How is that a yellow card?!
Are you kidding me?!
408
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:34,542
Typically, when a vampire turnsa human's brain into pudding
409
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,109
from over-hypnosis,
410
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:38,241
the proper etiquette is
411
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:40,200
to put them
out of their misery...
412
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,071
by murdering them.
413
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,552
We're not gonna kill him.
414
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,989
It goes against
our non-killing agreement.
415
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,252
Yes, but it is now
necessary to do
416
00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:51,254
the humane thing
and rip Sean's head off.
417
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:53,691
-[knocking]
-Uh, not now.
418
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,171
We are taking
a human shit together.
419
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:58,044
-Uh...
-Have either of you two seen
420
00:15:58,087 --> 00:16:00,046
a jade necklace containing
the bloodcurdling screams
421
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,830
of my dead mother in here?
422
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,614
Eh... oh, maybe check behind
423
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:06,226
the Andy Garcia cross-stitch.
424
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,271
SEAN:
No soap? Radio?
425
00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,491
Ha, bowling ball.
426
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:13,276
Nandor wants to kill Sean 'causehe's got the Brain Scramblies.
427
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,843
Well, then Nandor is correct.
428
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:17,063
Have you gone soft,
my sweet syrup pie?
429
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,716
No, my sweet syrup pie,
I've gone hard.
430
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,718
-[sighs]
-'Cause he's my best friend,
he's my pal.
431
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:23,025
He's my homeboy,
my rotten soldier.
432
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,375
He's my sweet cheese,
my good-time boy.
433
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,638
Laszlo, this is clearly
what must be done.
434
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,945
[grunting]
435
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,729
Oh, Yahtzee!
436
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:33,427
For Sean's own sake.
437
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,081
I'll go get
my head-ripping gloves.
438
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:37,039
No, no, no, hang on, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
439
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,432
We're not animals.
440
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,738
Let's give him one
last night to remember.
441
00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,914
One magical night
on Earth before we...
442
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,264
"whack" him.
443
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,918
Well, okay, yes, that is fair.
444
00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:49,486
I can feel it, guys.
445
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,706
I mean, I really think
we are, like,
446
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,621
this close to finding
our first vampire.
447
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:56,276
-Yes.
-Wait, so you guys
448
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:58,278
have never actually...
449
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,236
met or seen a real vampire.
450
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,282
Well, come on,
it's not like they're just
451
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:03,979
walking around
in broad daylight, you know?
452
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,067
-Yeah.
-Throwing a football
in the park.
453
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,634
-Seriously.
-Running errands.
454
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,288
-Yeah.
-Going to the bank.
455
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,116
-Eating a pretzel.
-Yeah.
456
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:11,900
-Walking a dog...
-SHANICE: I have.
457
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,859
My roommate
458
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,339
was turned
459
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:17,688
by a vampire.
460
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,647
And became a vampire.
461
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,084
She died right
in front of my eyes.
462
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:24,086
But then she came back to life.
463
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,305
What the fuck?!
464
00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:28,308
But she was different, sick...
465
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,701
unnatural.
466
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:31,963
And eventually she just...
467
00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:33,661
vanished.
468
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:36,446
Her future was so bright.
469
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,796
She was such a brilliant LARPer.
470
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:39,928
GUILLERMO:
I think Shanice and I
471
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:42,061
might have a mutual friend.
472
00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:47,240
Small world.
473
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,764
This is the life.
474
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,593
Hanging out with
my three favorite gerbils.
475
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:55,291
I only have one question--
are we inside or outside?
476
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:57,163
-You need to focus, Sean.
-Huh?
477
00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:59,687
And enjoy the most magical
night of your life.
478
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,036
Hold tight.
479
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,256
What? Whoa...
How are you doing this?!
480
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,822
How are you doing this?!
481
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,259
What's going on now?!
482
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:07,521
Oh, God, no! Mother Mary!
483
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:09,262
-Wait for us.
-Here we come.
484
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,307
Hey!
485
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,527
[Sean screaming]
486
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:16,182
Oh, no, no! Fuck me!
487
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:18,184
LASZLO:
Now that you've experienced
488
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,924
the pleasure of flying,
489
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:23,363
enjoy the marvel
of transfiguration.
490
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:24,146
What?
491
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,843
Bat!
492
00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:27,802
Whoa! Where'd that asshole go?!
493
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,412
Oh, God! Get off!
[shudders]
494
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:32,067
Look at that,
he's having a lovely time.
495
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,069
[Sean shouting]
496
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,505
-He loves this.
-No, get out of my hair!
497
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:36,941
Get out of my hair! Get...!
498
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,726
-Sean, look at me.
-No!
499
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,380
Stop that! What are you doing?
500
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:41,642
It ain't natural!
501
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:43,557
Are you enjoying
watching me, Sean?
502
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,298
No! Stop it! Get down here!
503
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,430
[screams]
504
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:49,215
Ooh, get a good look at this!
Wow!
505
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:51,652
-Holy shit!
-Sorry, Laszlo.
506
00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,219
But, you know,
it's his last night.
507
00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:54,307
LASZLO:
I don't care.
508
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:56,657
And now for the grand finale.
509
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,399
NANDOR:
We vampires have
dominion of animals.
510
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,792
So we decided
to throw you a little
511
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,054
puppy party.
512
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,317
[laughs]
513
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,231
[snaps fingers]
514
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:06,623
What have you done?!
515
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,190
-Oh, God!
-[dogs barking]
516
00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:10,584
[Sean screaming]
517
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,413
[Nadja laughs]
518
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:15,415
-Sean.
-[laughs]
519
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,896
We did something
really good tonight.
520
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,334
I'm proud of us.
521
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,335
-Yes.
-My boys.
522
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,206
[Sean screams]
523
00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:31,474
I haven't really had
many real friends.
524
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:35,348
So, when I met Jenna,
my whole life changed, really.
525
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:37,480
But she was taken from me.
526
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,482
GUILLERMO:
I guess I never really
think about
527
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,485
the victims or their families.
528
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,488
Uh, I guess I switched
that part of my brain off
529
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:48,491
with, um, feelings and emotions.
530
00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:50,580
Killing vampires,
killing humans,
531
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:54,105
collecting victims--
it's all so nasty and ugly.
532
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,412
And, you know, I devoted
my life to it, so...
533
00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,851
SHANICE:
So that's why I'm here!
534
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:04,594
Because vampires cause
nothing but pain!
535
00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:06,466
-Hear, hear.
-Hear, hear.
536
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,032
Come on, say "aye"
if you're with me.
537
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:10,426
-Aye!
-I have to go.
538
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,298
I'm so sorry.
539
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:14,822
-I think I left
my toilet running.
-You sure?
540
00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:17,172
-Yeah.
-We're just about to start
crossbow practice.
541
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,393
-What's that?
-Derek got us some mannequins
to use as targets.
542
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:21,742
Yeah.
543
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,744
-Get a load of this, huh?
-That's a weapon.
544
00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:26,486
-Yeah.
-And those are vampires?
545
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,183
Yeah, I got the costumes
at a Halloween store.
546
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,577
Okay, I don't think
I'd be really...
547
00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,321
[all whooping, clamoring]
548
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:36,626
Damn, pimp!
549
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:37,932
-I have to go.
-Whoa!
550
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,499
I'm sorry, is-is it just me,
551
00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:40,543
or is this guy an epic pimp?
552
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,631
We'll see you
on Wednesday, right?
553
00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:42,893
No, yeah, a-and if you don't,
554
00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:44,547
it was really nice meeting you.
555
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,897
And, Shanice, I'm very
sorry about your friend.
556
00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:48,986
And you guys should be
really careful
557
00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:50,988
when dealing with vampires--
they're no joke.
558
00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:53,513
CLAUDE:
Hey, hope to see you
again soon, son.
559
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,166
And not just 'cause you,
560
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:56,646
you have wicked skills
with the C-bow.
561
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:59,170
You're a mighty cool dude,
Guillermo.
562
00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:02,565
Thank you.
563
00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:06,482
CLAUDE:
Just slide it.
564
00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:08,484
-Yeah, push it to the left...
-Yeah, you got
565
00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:10,573
-to throw your weight into it.
-There you go, you got it.
566
00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:12,358
All right, we'll close it--
don't worry about it.
567
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:13,881
GUILLERMO:
All right.
568
00:21:13,924 --> 00:21:15,883
Well, that was a lot of fun,
old chap.
569
00:21:15,926 --> 00:21:18,712
I bet you could die a happy man.
570
00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:20,540
[groans]
571
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:21,671
He's worse than before.
572
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:23,412
We've ruined him again.
573
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:25,022
All the more reason to put him
out of his misery.
574
00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:26,110
Go ahead, Nandor.
575
00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:27,111
Yes.
576
00:21:27,155 --> 00:21:29,288
Here I go.
577
00:21:30,201 --> 00:21:32,552
Head rub time.
578
00:21:32,595 --> 00:21:33,901
LASZLO:
Forgive us, old chap.
579
00:21:33,944 --> 00:21:35,729
Oh, my God.
580
00:21:35,772 --> 00:21:37,426
Who is that piece of ass?
581
00:21:37,470 --> 00:21:39,602
Mamaloosha!
582
00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:40,734
That is Charmaine.
583
00:21:40,777 --> 00:21:42,126
You know her?
584
00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:43,345
She's your wife.
585
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:45,129
[laughing]:
Yeah.
586
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:47,784
-I wish.
-Seanie!
587
00:21:47,828 --> 00:21:49,569
I've been calling for you
for, like, 20 minutes.
588
00:21:49,612 --> 00:21:51,353
The garbage disposal's
all messed up again.
589
00:21:51,397 --> 00:21:54,400
You are the most
beautiful creature
590
00:21:54,443 --> 00:21:56,227
I have ever seen.
591
00:21:56,271 --> 00:21:57,403
CHARMAINE:
Stop messing around.
592
00:21:57,446 --> 00:21:58,447
SEAN:
I want to spend the rest
593
00:21:58,491 --> 00:22:00,188
of my life making you happy.
594
00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:01,189
This is for you.
595
00:22:01,232 --> 00:22:04,061
It's a token of my undying love.
596
00:22:04,105 --> 00:22:05,846
You emptied out a junk drawer?
597
00:22:05,889 --> 00:22:07,848
-What the hell is
wrong with you?
-[chuckles]
598
00:22:07,891 --> 00:22:10,633
Wha... what is this?
599
00:22:10,677 --> 00:22:12,026
-What?
-This is beautiful.
600
00:22:12,069 --> 00:22:13,854
Seanie, did you get this for me?
601
00:22:13,897 --> 00:22:15,943
-That is my necklace.
-Oh, my God, Seanie.
602
00:22:15,986 --> 00:22:18,249
-This is a bloody...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
603
00:22:18,293 --> 00:22:19,773
Leave them to it, my darling.
604
00:22:21,992 --> 00:22:24,647
I suppose it is quite sweet.
605
00:22:24,691 --> 00:22:26,388
I'll just get it when they die.
606
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,303
[Charmaine giggling]
607
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,478
NANDOR:
So, we didn't need
608
00:22:29,522 --> 00:22:31,654
to kill Sean after all.
609
00:22:31,698 --> 00:22:35,223
Yes, his mind has been wiped
to a blank slate and now
610
00:22:35,266 --> 00:22:37,965
he can start a new one just
focused on the amazingness
611
00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:39,880
of his wife
and his marriage, and
612
00:22:39,923 --> 00:22:42,448
he doesn't remember
we're vampires at all.
613
00:22:42,491 --> 00:22:44,624
Come on, Colin Robinson.
614
00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:45,973
-We're off.
-Hold on a minute.
615
00:22:46,016 --> 00:22:47,757
I-I may have overdone it.
616
00:22:47,801 --> 00:22:50,499
This one just pissed himself.
617
00:22:50,543 --> 00:22:52,414
Who cares? Come on, let's go.
618
00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:53,807
NANDOR:
So, all in all, I would say
619
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:55,591
our first Superb Owl celebration
620
00:22:55,635 --> 00:22:58,507
was a marked success.
621
00:22:58,551 --> 00:23:00,857
Even though the owl
didn't show up.
622
00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:02,337
♪ Ooh, night owl♪
623
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,513
♪ Well, yeah♪
624
00:23:04,557 --> 00:23:07,647
-♪ Here come the night owl♪
-♪ Ooh, night owl♪
625
00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:09,866
♪ Oh, oh, oh...♪
626
00:23:09,910 --> 00:23:12,608
Can you tell me,
how is it you haven't aged
627
00:23:12,652 --> 00:23:14,523
after all these years?
628
00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:18,440
I have the gift of eternal life.
629
00:23:18,484 --> 00:23:20,529
Oh, wow.
630
00:23:20,573 --> 00:23:22,488
-Yeah, well.
-Oh, can you
631
00:23:22,531 --> 00:23:24,098
share this gift with me?
632
00:23:24,141 --> 00:23:25,708
I would love to be young again.
633
00:23:25,752 --> 00:23:27,884
Yeah, that's not really
how it works.
634
00:23:27,928 --> 00:23:30,887
If I turned you,
you would stay forever...
635
00:23:30,931 --> 00:23:33,063
like this.
636
00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:34,630
Oh.
637
00:23:34,674 --> 00:23:37,503
-Well, I'll pass, then.
-Yeah.
638
00:23:37,546 --> 00:23:40,897
♪ Ooh, night owl♪
639
00:23:40,941 --> 00:23:43,030
[hooting]
640
00:23:43,073 --> 00:23:46,686
-♪ Now you try to tell me♪
-♪ Ooh, night owl♪
641
00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:48,688
♪ What a fool you've been♪
642
00:23:48,731 --> 00:23:52,692
♪ Ooh, night owl♪
643
00:23:52,735 --> 00:23:57,697
-♪ Yes, but it's all-all over♪
-♪ Ooh, night owl♪
644
00:23:57,740 --> 00:24:00,482
♪ Be on your merry way♪
645
00:24:00,526 --> 00:24:02,136
♪ Ooh.♪
646
00:24:02,179 --> 00:24:03,529
[hooting]
647
00:24:07,576 --> 00:24:11,101
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
648
00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,455
[Muzak playing]
649
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:22,112
"Total protection
from the sun."
650
00:24:23,244 --> 00:24:25,594
[up-tempo folk music]
651
00:24:28,379 --> 00:24:29,598
-VOCALIST: Hey!
-[bat squeaks]
652
00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:31,470
[gasps] Another.
653
00:24:33,602 --> 00:24:35,474
-[throaty hiss]
-Ooh, ooh, ooh.
654
00:24:37,345 --> 00:24:38,738
-Text me.
-Nope.
655
00:24:38,781 --> 00:24:41,741
[whistling]
656
00:24:46,833 --> 00:24:48,225
-Mom.
-Yes?
657
00:24:48,269 --> 00:24:50,793
-Okay. I want
a big party this year.
-Serious?
658
00:24:50,837 --> 00:24:52,795
-I want a quinceañera.
-Quinceañera?
659
00:24:52,839 --> 00:24:56,277
We can't do that.
We're too white for that.
We're not allowed.
660
00:25:05,852 --> 00:25:08,811
Do me a favor?Never look me in the eye again.
661
00:25:08,855 --> 00:25:11,814
Okay? 'Cause your stare
is way too intense.
662
00:25:11,858 --> 00:25:13,599
It's starting to make
my hair fall out.
663
00:25:19,082 --> 00:25:20,997
Our women do not
consider themselves
664
00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:22,608
enslaved by marriage.
665
00:25:25,393 --> 00:25:30,703
And they certainly
do not want to sacrifice
their present privileges
666
00:25:30,746 --> 00:25:33,488
for some phony equality
with men.
667
00:25:40,669 --> 00:25:42,236
WOMAN: What is Devs?
668
00:25:43,454 --> 00:25:44,586
What is Devs?
48118
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