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MAN: Women don't understand,
you know?

I mean,
I don't know what they expect.

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

Er, well, I guess I do know
what they expect.

WOMAN: So last night,
we were trying

and I just felt so ill,

I...I threw up.

WOMAN 2:
I gave masturbation another go.

WOMAN 3:
How'd it go?

No orgasm,
not even arousal, darn it.

Can you tell me
how you first find out

that you might be asexual?

Oh.

I never,
I never felt the attraction.

It was about fifth grade, so.

I've--
I will say I feel much better

not studying the porn
all the time.

Um, that was a great suggestion
from you guys.

WOMAN 3: Well that's great!
Congratulations.

MAN: Thank you.

So we have a new face.

Welcome.

It's your first time?

Yes. Hi, I'm Olivia.

Hi, Olivia.
Hey.

WOMAN 3: Hi, Olivia.

And I'm here because
I think I might be...

Um, I'm 27.

And I don't have any clue

as to what my orientation is.

Well many of us tried on
different orientations

Gay.
Bi.

Straight.
MAN:
Cross dresser.

But it wasn't until
we found other Aces

that we could really find
a label that fit.

But I haven't tried
anything, though.

Olivia, Asexual Support
welcomes you.

Thank you.

Um, hi.

Wow!

This is so awkward, um...

I guess I'm...

searching?

I think I have a--
an issue with intimacy.

So I don't really know
what it's like to...

to have a relationship.

You know we are in a society
where people are, like,

force-fed sex constantly.

Why do we need that much...

sex?

And I just, it, I...

Heh. I can't function.

I can't function normally
in society, and it...

I need--
I need to work on that.

Thanks.
Olivia.

I think you might
wanna try out

some different
support groups.

What do you mean?

Sometimes people use
asexuality to hide.

There's no right
or wrong, but...

it's just all about finding
the right fit for you.

Ok.
Ok?

Uh-huh.

For the record,
I don't think
you're an asexual.

Who told you?

In the bathroom.

Ok, so it's something
that I've been looking into
as an option.

One that fits quite well,
actually.

You might also wanna
try sex as an option too.

Ah, ok.
Too much pressure.

OLIVIA: So in reality it wasn't
the Simone de Beauvoirs

but the Shulamith Firestones

that paved the way
for the Riot Grrrls--

Olivia! Congratulations
on the Provosts' grant.

I'm very happy
for you.

Thank you. Bye.

OLIVIA: "Once conform,

"once do what other people
do because they do it,

"and a lethargy steals
over all the finer nerves

and faculties of the soul."

"She becomes all outer show
and inward emptiness;

"dull, callous,

and indifferent."

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Karl is it?

Uh, please tell me,
why are you here?

You have no concept
of a brilliant mind's
deepest thoughts.

This is an upper level course,

and you guys are sitting here
pretending like

you're fulfilling
some breadth requirement

with no care in the world
except your next date or screw!

Well you know what,

I've had it
with you cocksuckers!

Class is dismissed!

Olivia.

Olivia, are you ok?

I'm a horrible person!

You're just stressed.
It happens.

I just blew up at them.

Olivia, do you think
this has anything to do

with that asexuality group?

Does everybody
know about that?!

Your friends have just been
a little concerned,

I mean you've been
a little freaked out lately--

Yeah. Well, I'm frustrated
by the porn-centric culture!

I think maybe
you should just get it
over with, you know.

I mean,
just go to a bar--

I'm not gonna
take my life in my hands
with some stranger.

I think
you're putting a lot of
importance on this act.

That's easy enough
for you to say.

You've been doing it
for years

with a variety of partners.

I have been lucky.
Sorry.

Well, I haven't.

So for me,
there's asexual support.

Asexual Support System.
ASS. Heh-heh.

MAN: That performance can't
be repeated

if you're to continue
teaching your own seminars,
Olivia.

I know. It won't.

You see, aside from
your free-floating rage,

there is a concern
in this department

that you lack
the life experience

to take on Modernism and Realism
as you've chosen to do.

But all I've ever wanted
to do is be a professor,

and all I've ever loved
my entire life is language.

And yet you seem unconcerned

with the very stuff
language expresses--

our shared struggles,
our deepest humanity.

You seem averse
to self-exploration.

Nothing personal has emerged
in your work.

Well...

what do you suggest
that I do then?

Live a little.

So he just told you
that you need to live more?

Yes! I don't even know
what that means.

Hey, stranger.Hey!

Hi.

Sorry,
I know that's annoying.

Sorry.
No, it's ok.

No, um...I respect both
of you a lot. So it's ok.

Doesn't she look
terrific today?

Yeah.
Yeah, you look good.

Yeah, thanks.

A skirt can help
with the transition

into the superficial object
of male desire,

but my entire being
is basically untouchable.

I am aware of that.

Ok, I'm just
going to go back to work.

No, no wait!

What if you had sex
with Julian?

I mean,
you guys get along.

I...I...

Yeah.
Yeah.

Why not?

Um...Look, I mean it's--

it's not a big deal,
you know.

I mean,
just try him out.

Um, because intercourse
right now

would completely derail
my emerging asexuality.

Heh. I kinda think
maybe it would help

clear some of that stuff up
for you, actually.

Yeah.
It's fun.

No, I--
you guys are in love.

I couldn't possibly get
in the way of that.

You wouldn't.

We have a huge amount
of trust in our relationship.

Well...I, um...

Look, Olivia, it's like,
if I didn't know about it

then it would definitely
be wrong.

But I know about it,
so it's fine.

JULIAN: Yeah.
It makes sense to me.

Mm-hmm.
He's really great too.

Uh, great.
I'm sure, um...

I mean it would be cheaper
than psychotherapy. Heh.

Maybe this weekend?

I'll go
to my parents...
I, uh...

you go over there
and shabam!

Uh...

Do it!

Yeah, ok.

Ok. Ok!

Um, right.
Uh, just text me about it, ok?

I will sext you
about it.

Yeah. Um...

All right, well,
wanna go with me?

Guess I'm having sex.

MAN: Sleep with Julian?
Felisha's Julian?

That's great!

Why did I ever agree
to this?

It's perfectly logical.
Julian's hot.

I just don't think
I can go through with it.

That's ok, too.

My advisor did encourage
some self-exploration

on behalf of my work.Your work?

Asexuality is not generally
considered in the discourse.

I--I could be a pioneer--

Whoa. Do it,
but don't pawn it off
as work.

An exploration,
an experiment!

I'll film it!

What, like a porno?

No--a legitimate look
into my own sexuality

and gendering.

Sounds...wrong...

in so many ways.

Are we rolling?
We good?

Ok.

Hmm.

The subject of the experiment
is me, Olivia Howell.

I'm 27.

Not only am I a virgin,

I have never even made out
with anyone...

other than on stage

in an all-women's production
of Bye Bye Birdie,

but I digress.

Uh, the filming began
because I am a scholar

who believes
in the close reading of texts

as a means
of approaching understanding.

Yet I have repeatedly failed

at my own self-analysis

and hope that this effort
will enable me

to interpret my own situation.

Dating and courtship rituals

have fascinated me
in my studies,

yet confounded me in my life.

I have yet to experience
a scintilla of love,

let alone mutual lust.

But I am embracing

this potentially
degrading experiment

in hopes that it will
shed a light

on my somewhat peculiar nature.

And having sex should make me

a somewhat more typical
human being.

That's it.

Is that fence picking on you?

Hey, Ray. Um...

Um, good morning.
I just...

I get stuck on things
a lot, too, so, um...

This is--
your roommate's expecting it.

Uh, well,
like most of Berkeley,
he's still asleep so...

I can wait.Um, no, don't, I--

It's just, I don't--

I can't go into
what's on this,

but it's password protected,
uh, actually,

Defense Departmentally
password protected.

Oh, ok.
He'll get it.

Actually, could you
just give it back?

Can you just give it back?

Um, I just don't want you
to see what's on it.

I thought you said
it was password protected.

Yup. Yes.

It's password protected,
so don't even try.

Ok.
Ok.

Um, goodbye.

Watch out, for the--
because of earlier.

The fence.
Have a good day.

So this is my abode.

James is my best friend,
gay roommate

who, uh, he wasn't openly gay
when he moved in.

Um, and now,
now he is out.

I never got
to openly admire my fellow
students in high school.

Now I can.

Wow!
To think, for you,
the road to gay

was paved by
an unrequited crush
on Ray Dingman.

No fashion sense,
but the man is endowed

with the face of an angel.

Uh, let's talk about
your latest accomplishment.

I have a new boyfriend,
Arturo--
Not that.

Uh, before that, please.

I recently lost
my virginity.

Can you elaborate
a little bit?

I'm a rock climber.
And I met this hot instructor
mid-cliff--

Can we have the truth,
please?

I posted an ad on Craigslist,

I went for the fellow
with the biggest unit,

a couple of mai tais,

barely remembered it
the next morning.

Wow,
thank you for sharing.

So, um, I am doing this video

strictly for research purposes,

uh, for my thesis.

But the film is,

is about sex so I thought
I would ask you what you think.

I'm in your history class.
You know me real well.

And you're my TA.

And I'm here to help you
have some hot sex.

OLIVIA: Is it really going
to be hot?

I can't believe you're
even asking me this, yes!

Physically what is sex to me,
is that what you're asking me?

OLIVIA: Yes.

How can I describe it
to you?

A man has a penis,
and a woman has a vagina.

You wear tampons, right? Ok.

There's a hole and a rod

and these things
go together, um...

You're kinda like--

and like, you wanna, like,
and you--

What kind of film is this

you're, uh,
you're documenting here?

So here I am

walking to Julian's place.

Uh, down an alley.

Uh, I don't even know if this is
his front door or his back door.

But he's not here.
He's still in class. So, um...

we're going to go in here.

Felisha is leaving
for the weekend,

and she is going to donate

Julian to me for two nights.

Lish, why don't you say
something to the camera?

Oh, no.
This is your thing.

I don't want to be
on camera.

Felisha is five years
my junior,

bet lifetimes more
emotionally evolved.

I can't even imagine
what it must be like

to just donate somebody
that you love.

Well, what Julian and I have
is just,

just so special that I just,
I trust him completely.

Oh!

Here's Julian.
Hi, Julian!

I didn't know
we were starting already.

Oh, no, we're not.
Can I talk to you a minute?

He's not due back yet.

Objectively, I'm about
to have this experience

with a highly desirable
specimen.

I think I'm gonna pass out.

Um, I think I'm gonna go home.

Um, bye, guys.

Bye.
Oh! Um, uh.

Oh, you're leaving?

Yes, I'm going.
Uh, I'll see you later.

Ok, um...bye.

OLIVIA: They were making out
or something,

with me in the next room.

He needs to prove
his loyalty.

She needs to mark him
with her scent.

I guess this is how
they reaffirm their love.

I mean,
perhaps Felisha is seeking

to validate their relationship
through the ease

with which she can just
give Julian away.

It's natural.

Natural.

Strip.

Ok.

Ok.

Um...

Uh...

Um...

Uh...

James!

James, can you come
in here for a second, please?

Um...

Oh! Oh!

That shit's hot.Can you help me please?

I'm not familiar
with that region.

Yeah, duh, but I seem to have
the muslin stuck or something.

I can't--

I think you're supposed
to apply baby oil first.

Will you just help me,
please?!

This is like hardening
into a relief sculpture
as we speak.

I don't know what to do--
Aah!

I'm sorry.
It was the best way.

Oh! You asshole!

You want some tea?

Ow!

This was a mistake.

You'll be fine.

You have no idea
what it's like.

The standards
are every bit as high

if not higher
for gay guys.

It's basically impossible
for anyone sleeping with men.

Well then,
why am I doing this?

It was inevitable,
after you found out about me.

You seemed approachable.

You were a non-threat.

I'll always be here for you--
as a last resort--

Thanks.

But the blind leading
the disgusted?

Pass.

You can just shave the pubes
on the other side.

Uh, God! I'm just not
cut out for sex.

This will help.

James, you shouldn't have.

Oh.

If you're set
on filming yourself,

you might as well wear
something pretty.

It goes like that.
It goes like that.

Oh, stop it.

Thank you.

OLIVIA:
So far the experiment seems
to be going as planned.

I'm learning a lot.

More than I even wanted
to know perhaps.

But I should reveal to you

a little bit
about my methodology

So, CJ?

Come out, reveal yourself.
Come. Come on.

What?
What do you want?

Introduce yourself,
please.

I'm CJ. Am I done?

No. CJ is our camerawoman.

And just to be completely
honest,

she's also the person
that I made out with
in Bye Bye Birdie.

But, CJ is gay, in practice,
and I am asexual...

Heh.
in theory.

Right.

OLIVIA: How do you know, like,
how do you know for sure?

How did I know
I was a lesbian?

I just, you just know.
I don't know.

Do you really think
it's worth it?

You know, all this sex stuff?

You never know
until you try it.

And until you try it
you can't write it off.

Ok, so you've had sex.

Do you think
that I should have sex?

Oh, it's a thrill.
It's like riding
a rollercoaster.

It is the greatest experience
you can have in your life,

over and over and over again.

It's a moment of peace,
a moment of natural peace
in your day,

which should happen every day.

What about you?
What do you think
the big thing about sex is?

Well, I'm trying to find out.

That's what this experiment
is helping me figure out.

Cool.

It's the closest
that two people can be,

physically, emotionally,
spiritually.

That's when
two people become one.

What if part of me

goes into them
and I never get it back?

You'll come back.

It's like any other
experience in life.

Until it actually happens,
you don't know.

You don't know
how it's going
to affect you.

But you've gotta
give it a try.

Shh!
This is serious, ok.

Oh!
You should film this.

Here. That's great.

Ok.

OK!

I'm wearing heels and a dress.

I have reclaimed
the "victimize me" attire

and it feels slightly sensual,

and slightly annoying.

But I'm waiting here
at the bus stop
for my bus to come

which will take me
on the final leg of my journey

for me to lose my virginity.

So...

God, these shoes are killing--

Can I--
can I sit down with you guys?

♪ Say yes to life,
Say yes to love... ♪

These shoes
are killing me.

Who wears these things?

I don't know.
I never--never mind.

♪ Say yes to sex,
Say yes to laughs ♪

♪ Say yes to love,
Life to the max ♪

♪ Say yes, baby

♪ Say yes...

CJ:
Can you wait a moment?

I want to be ready
to film him.

CJ,
I want to let you know

how much
I appreciate everything

it is that you're doing
for me.

Of course.

Ok.

Do you think
I should text him?

No, no.
Try, try the door.

It's unlocked.

Go, go, go.

Julian?

Oh, for God's sakes.

Should we leave
and come back later?

No!

Julian?

Huh...

Oh, shit.

Aw, shit. Sorry!

Yeah.
We'll just be out here.

What's up, Olivia?

I'm Julian.
We haven't meet before.

CJ.
CJ.

What's that stand for?

Charlotte Juliana.

Whoa!
My middle name is Charles.

So I'm Julian Charles.

CJ: Wow!Charlotte Juliana?

That's like the same name
but in reverse.

Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah, wow, uh.
So, right.

You are obviously
not ready for us, at all.

Yeah.

You see before I racked out

I was actually gonna
jump in the shower,

but then I got to thinking,
I was like,

well maybe I should wait
till you get here,

see if you wanted
to jump in with me--

No. No.

I'm clean.

Oh, yeah? All right, sure.

CJ, why don't we wait here

while you do whatever it is
that you need to do.

I don't know
if I can do this.

Olivia, you're making
a huge deal out of this.

It's just a sexual act,
you know.

It's just two bodies
intertwined doing the deed

and afterwards, you know,
have a smoke, have a snack.

Ok.

Definitely take a shower
with him beforehand.

He has this--this weird thing
about the shower.

Ow!

FELISHA: Video games,
he really likes those.

Damn it!

FELISHA: And, uh, I have
some weed in my drawer.

Do you wanna comment
on what's happening?

I--I wanna to clean
this place up right now.

I hope you don't mind.
His cock is really big.

It's more thick than big so--

Gross!

I've heard olive oil helps,
you know, to stretch it out,

so just maybe, like, moisturize.

Um, I think I'm gonna head
into the living room.

I--I think
the shower stopped--

No. You need to stay here.
You need to film this.

Well.

I am beyond letting
worldly matters

like a dirty apartment
and a small pest problem

derail my plan.

I'm not planning to have sex
in the kitchen.

I have lived
through far worse than this.

What are we but bodies,

our flesh, dirt--

You're dressed.

Should I be dressed?

Um, I--um--

Julian, come here.
Come here.

All right,
you might want to, like,

ease into things.

Some women like that.

Yeah.

Eh...

I'll be back in a few.

He was naked!

Maybe we should just go.

No.

No. We are not looking
for perfection here.

Hey.

Would you like
to have a seat?

Whatever you want me to do.
I'm just here to help.

So I brought a few things
with me

that I think might help us
to get into a more contemplative

yet perhaps erotic mood...

I'll just get my bag.

It's stuck on something.

Aah!

Unh.

Felisha's been looking
for that.

Sorry.

Sorry.

It was just a gag gift.

Yeah, I've just
never seen one up close...

and personal.

Don't worry about it.

Uh, I, uh...

like I said,
I brought some things

Yeah, sure.

Ok, my bag...

Here we go.

"His body was urgent
against her,

"and she didn't have
the heart anymore to fight.

"She saw his eyes,
tense and brilliant,

"fierce, not loving.

But her will had left her."

Julian, I--I--

I think you should
take over from here.

I am right here.

"A strange weight
was on her lambs."

Uh, limbs.

Limbs.
Right.

"A strange weight
was on her limbs.

"She was giving way.

"She was giving up.

"She had to lay--

"lie down there
under the bows--boughs

"of the tree,
like an animal,
while he waited,

standing there
in his shirt and birches."

Britches!

Heh.
That was cool though.

The whole trees,
animal kingdom thing--

Could you please
not do that? Please.

Ok.

Thank you. Uh, yes.

I think I have
to take a break.

Yeah, sure.

CJ: Olivia?

Olivia?

Maybe we should just go--

No!

It's making you too upset--

No!

I've been waiting too long.
I've come too close.

I cannot screw this up.

Just start filming.

I've read enough to know
that it is just a physical act,

one that is quite brief,
generally speaking.

It can be satisfactory
amongst complete strangers,

or even pleasurable among people
who are long past love.

Yet something
is continually standing
in my way

of me just getting it
over with.

Sandwich?

Minor horrors

like finding
a used dildo

under a potential
partner's chair.

I'm gonna get
through this night.

That's why I brought vino.

Just to let you know,

I have never relied
on the bottle before,

and I barely even like
the stuff so.

Well, cheers.

You know, I'm thinking,

maybe we should go
lay down on the bed?

Sure.

I would love to lie
on the bed with you!

Uh, as far as
undressing goes,

I think I'm just gonna
hold off for now--

Whatever
you're comfortable with.

And as far as
sitting on the comforter

versus lying
on the top sheet,

I think I might need
a little more--

I don't think
I even have a top sheet.

Right.

Uh, I...

I like you enough
that I am comfortable

sitting on
your unwashed comforter

covered
in your effluvium.

I've got hand sanitizer--

Background, CJ.

Heads up!
Ahh!

What are you doing?!

You were about
to fall off!

It's eight inches
to the ground.

You were about
to hit your head.

I'm staying
where I feel comfortable.

Well, you might want
to cross over to my side.

When you're ready.

All right.

Uh...

Can we turn the light off,
please?

I won't be able
to film anything.

Fine. Fine.
Just keep it on then.

Ok. Could you maybe,
could you--

could you
put the camera down,
please?

Thank you, CJ,
and now you can go.

What if the camera stops?

That's just a chance

we're gonna
have to take, ok?

I think
I might actually--

take my dress off now.

You want some help?

No, no, no.
I am--no!

I am fine.
Thank you.

Hello.

Hi. Sorry, sorry.

We're finally alone.

Yes.

I think you're pretty.

And so it begins.

So what begins?

The superficial talk.

Never previously a part
of our friendship
but necessary now,

considering
the dire circumstance

that I find
myself in right now-

This might be better
if you didn't explain

every little thing
that we do--

Yes, yes. You're right.
Right.

It's a problem.

I like you--

Um, ah! Aah!

There's a cockroach
on my leg!

Let's see it.

He's gone.
He's gone.

Aah!
There it is again!

It's my foot.

See?

Ohh.

Um, God,

I'm so sorry!

Look, we don't have
to do this tonight--

You know,
you are so right.
You are so right.

We have
the whole weekend, right?

Ok.
Sure.

You could come by
tomorrow--

Yeah. Or we could just pick
a different location.

Whatever you want.

You know, the--
the daylight would only help

with the filming, right?

Look, you seem
really stressed
about this

and this is really
just a physical act,
it's not even a big deal.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.
And you are so right
to postpone it.

I mean, why force it?

Though our minds
may be willing,
our bodies do seem weak,

and thus we are ill-suited
for this tonight.

Goodbye, Julian.

Bye.
CJ,
we're going home!

CJ, I know
what you're thinking,

but this is not
a failure.

Yeah. Whatever.

No,
I have made huge gains.

I practically stripped naked
in front of a man

and laid in bed with him.

I mean,
while I didn't experience
any sexual arousal,

some hetero tendencies
were documented.

I just can't believe
you didn't do it.

♪ Ain't got no ambition

♪ Ain't got no resolve

♪ But you're on a mission

♪ My problems are solved

Julian. Hey.
Wow, what a surprise.

Close your eyes.
Um...

Mmm.

Oh, hiya.

Mother!

Um...um...

I didn't mean to interrupt--

You didn't mention
an impending visit.

Oh, complete spur of the moment.

I think I'll be going--

Pardon me.
I'm so rude.

Sherri Finch.

Julian.

Mother, you're tattooed.

Also spur of the moment.

Wanna head in
for a little drinkiepoo?

I feel like celebrating.No, I better be going--

Oh, stay!
Let's get to know
each other.

We are not dating,
so there is no point.

Hehe.
Well, you never know!

It was nice
to meet you, Mrs.--

Sherri.
Sherri

Bye, Olivia.

Hmm. Hot as hell!
Maybe this will go somewhere.

OLIVIA:
What do you care?

You've had no interest
in my life so far.

I boast about you
to everyone!

A genius!

My little Geni-ums-
help me with my bags.

OLIVIA: Mother,
this is quite possibly

the worst weekend for a visit.

Ooh, hello.

Sherri, so good
to see you again.

I'll set another place.

I met him?

When you and Howard
were here for Christmas.

Ahh. I'm so glad that Olivia's
got a nice boyfriend!

Ah, yes.
James is not
my boyfriend.

Sherri, I don't know
if you remember this,
but I'm gay.

Oh, I had no idea!

You'll meet your man.Mother...

Just have faith.

Yeah,
shocking as it may be,

my self-esteem
does not hinge on me
having a man in my life!

Oh, sure, I know.

Ooh, peaches.
I can make bellinis!

Olivia.

Hi...

Ray. Hey.

Um, I saw you.

I'm parked right there.

I can give you a ride.

You don't know
where I'm going.

True.

But this is a bus stop,
so it's local.

Um, where are you going?

To Julian's,
um, a friend's.

Boyfriend.

No.

I need to get
that drive back.

Ok.
Did you look at it?

I did not look at
your password protected

Defense Department
Math Department drive.

No.

Ok. So I'll
pick it up tomorrow.

Ok.

Ok.

OLIVIA: Um, I'd like to ask you
a couple of questions.

Good.

So what are your opinions
on sex?

Um, it's a natural progression.

Profession?

Progression.

Thank God. You scared me
for a second there.

Yes.

So when did you personally

decide to have sex?

I'm sorry, it's...

I--are we talking about like.

I thought I was coming in
as like my scientific approach--

Um, no,
I was I was thinking

more about, like,
what you--what you thought.

Well, the big deal is,

you could potentially die
from it.

Like HPV--
You could?

is one of the leading
causes of cervical cancer so--

That's kinda terrifying.

Handjobs are ok.

I think I've just
I'm screwing this--this--

should you cut?

OLIVIA: What was it like
your first time?

I mean were you,
like, super nervous?

Or were you, like, yeah,
I'm totally going to do this?

Or were you, like,
were you afraid?

Did you have any, like,
physical issues

like heavy breathing
or panic attacks?

God, does this even make
sense for me to have sex?

You know everyone marches
to the beat of their own drum.

You know, everyone kind of moves
at their own pace.

Oh, God.

Come here.

All right?

I know. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Ok.

All right.
Just don't blow it
this time.

Right. Yeah

Careful with that.

Ladies.

Enter.

Ah, she's hot.

It's the other one.

I was just leaving.

Does everybody you know
know about this?

Uh, you were the one
filming it.

Yeah, but not
for public consumption.

Please.

I feel ya.

You have
Death Squad March?

Yes. Are you serious?
You freakin' play?

Yes, every chance I get!

Olivia, could we maybe
play a game?

Me and you could team up.

You guys go ahead.

Nah.

Well, I mean,
I was thinking

if you ladies maybe
wanna smoke a bowl...

You know, it always helps
to loosen me up--

You're the last person
who needs loosening.

I would be up for it.

Not me!
Wait.

After all these years
in Berkeley

you still haven't
tried it?

No!

Well, I mean,
it's your call, but...

All right, suck.

All right, now move it away.

Move it away.
Hold your breath.

Pretend to swallow--

That was interesting.

See what I mean?
Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe we should go film now
in the bedroom.

You got it.

Uh...

May I?

Oh,
that's embarrassing!

Oh, you were doing fine.

The guy I'm dating
is a great dancer.

I have
white man's rhythm--

Oh, come on.
I love the salsa.

Heh.

Yeah.
It's all in the hips.

Oh, how'd you get
so good at this?

I dated
a salsa dancer myself.

You know, I don't think

I'm cut out
for the gay lifestyle.

Oh, you'll get there.
It's not so hard.

Here, it's all about
the hair.

That's right.

Oh, thank you.
You're a big help.

Fabulous! Fabulous!

So Olivia has been getting
her degree for five years,

she can't take two days off
for her mama?

Well, she, uh,
has her reasons.

That thing we did earlier

was so mind-opening.

God,
a cataclysmic event--

I didn't expect you'd have
such a strong reaction

to it your first time.

We are not talking
about sex!

It's that other thing.

That thing that makes you
really hungry.

That's what we did.

CJ: I am hungry,
actually.

Yeah! Let's eat!

Absolutely!

Let's go. Let's eat.

Oh, no! Oh, no.

You're not getting out of it
that easy this time, Missy.

VIDEO GAME:
Prepare to die, Pissant.

Playing with a guy's balls
is the most important thing.

And then focus on his lips.

Role play. Put on hats.

Slowly let him move downward.

And maybe stroke it
at the same time a little bit

to get him hard.

Doggie style, I like that.
I like that.

Hang on.
Let's just do it right now.

Let's get it done.

You wanna just swallow
it all in there.

You want him to be like,
"Oh, my God!"

And then you ease it on down

and jump on it!

I guarantee you he's gonna nut
in two seconds.

If you wanna turn around
and let him shower you, do it!

Wrong drive.

SHERRI:
What was that?

How to explain--ok.

As you may know Olivia
has some issues
with her sexuality--

Well, yeah.She's still a virgin.

Well, she's decided
to try it
with this guy Julian,

his girlfriend's fine with it.

And she's going to make
a movie out of it?

No wonder she didn't want
to talk to me.

This might help her.

Are we rolling?

Um, Olivia, look, you know,

I don't understand

why you're a virgin
at 27 years of age.

What are you thinking?

What were you doing
on Prom night?

Everybody looses their virginity
on Prom night.

Are you insane?
Why are you in gender studies?

Do you think you're ever gonna
get a job in gender studies?

What is gender studies?
What is it? What is it?

I don't understand
bi-sexual, homosexual,

asexual, sexual anorexics,

sexual, sexual this,
sexual that, sexual--

identity shit.

Olivia, everybody blames
their mother, all right.

All right, you hate me.
I understand.

Oh, wow. I look really good.

That's great.

This is the Arturo touch.

You look at him.
You look at him.

And you wanna look at him
from an angle like this.

You get in there.

You stick your vagina
right in there,

and you say eat that shit
out motherfucker.

Do you need anything else?

Look, I feel like I'm rambling
a little bit.

Oh, that--
that is not appropriate.

That is not--that is not even
appropriate right now.

Cheers.Cheers to Olivia.

To Olivia.To Olivia.

Listen, Olivia.
Right now I'm sure
you're doing something

and I hope you're
not thinking about us.

No. Don't think about us.
And especially me.

Especially not your mom.
That's just weird.

No!
God, don't think about me.

That's weird.
Yeah, yeah.

Don't be thinking about--

What do you think
she's doing right now?

Oh!

Oh, that was amazing.

Oh, I was, uh--

I was just gonna
use the restroom.

Yeah. Sure. Sure.

Have you ever noticed
that when you're high

your hands turn into these
elfin, puppet-like creatures?

Yeah, so did you do it?

You mean technically,
am I still a virgin?

Yeah.

Well, how do you define
this thing virginity?

CJ:
What happened?!

JULIAN:
We didn't do it.

Oh, my gosh.

What an amazing weekend.

Julian, I--
I am just amazed by you.

You were so patient with me.

Even with all of my craziness.

Wow. I'm just amazed that
you are actually still here.

I didn't really have
any other plans.

And, CJ, you have gone
above and beyond

what any friend could have
possibly been expected to do

with this project.
Thank you.

Well, it was actually
kind of interesting.

Well, I'm obviously not gay

so I hope you're not
disappointed about that.

Ahh...no!

And, Julian, um,

though I'm not sexually
attracted to you right now,

I will admit to a certain

je ne sais quoi

when it comes to, uh,

the kiss we had on my porch.

And, uh,
though it doesn't make me

want to have sex with you--

oh, my advisor's here!

I have to go tell him
about my newest accomplishment!

Hey, I hope you don't
take this personally.

Naw.
I think she has issues.

Yeah, 'cause if she can't
do it with you,

there isn't a guy
out there who's hot enough.

Cool.

I so wish
I was a lesbian right now.

Yeah, well,
maybe in your next life.

Yeah.

Wow, that was weird.

That was not my advisor.

Oh, oh, my.

We had fun dancing so--

Ah! You guys are
the best friends ever.

Thank you.

Thank you, CJ.

Julian.

Um, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's going on here?

It's kind of been building
all weekend.

But, CJ, you're gay!

I--I think
I might be bi.

You should seriously look
into that--

Wait, you--you're a betrayer
is what you are!

Well, you're the one
who's been talking about

exploring your sexuality
all weekend.

I can't believe
that this is happening!
Julian--

We're just talking.
This is just friends talking.

No hating.

Maybe we should all just
smoke another bowl--

You know, no.
No.

You know,
I have been duped
by you people!

Ok? I have been completely open
with you guys,

and you both know everything
about my pathetic little life,

and you--this is how
you repay me?!

Uh, just keep the blanket.

Can't we just talk
about this?

No. You know what,
as a friend

and as a camerawoman,
you're fired!

Olivia.

CJ: Olivia!

MAN: I mean, people think, like,
oh, you know,

my first time there's
gonna be fireworks.

It's gonna be amazing.
No. It's not.

You do it.
You finish, and you move on.

WOMAN: There was nothing magical
about it.

MAN 2: It was definitely
awkward, but, you know,

things have gotten smoother.
I've worked out the kinks.

MAN 3: I was 16.

I was 15 years old.

I was 17.

I was 16 years old.

I was 20. And...

I was so nervous,
I wore my favorite hat.

It was Halloween. I was 16.
And I was dressed as a girl.

And I wasn't just
dressed as a girl.
I was dressed as a hooker.

I actually was
at this bar in New York,

and, uh, I was sitting there,
and I was really drunk.

And I'd never kissed
a girl ever.

I lost my virginity

to a 38-year-old woman,

uh,
at a truck stop in New Mexico.

And she pulled me into the room,
and I said, "What's going on?"

And she came over and she, like,
took off all her clothes

and I was really really nervous.
And she's, like,

"I don't wanna
make you uncomfortable."

And I was like thinking
in my head,

"This is the best thing ever."

It was actually--it happened
when I was in high school.

And it was more of
a peer-pressure thing.

MAN: I met somebody who sort of,
I guess,

tricked me into the ways
of the world.

WOMAN: After that,
I knew that it wasn't right

and I had the courage
to be myself.

And I think that, you know,
it saved my life.

Grr!

CJ: Hey. It's CJ.
I haven't heard from you.

Well, I'm turnin' in,
so call me tomorrow.

God damn it, CJ,
leave me alone!

Hey, it's Felisha--

Oh! Hi. I'm sorry.
Sorry--

Uh. Is Julian around?

I've been texting him
for a while.

Julian, uh, no.
I think--I think he went out.

Oh. So, uh,
how's everything going?

OLIVIA: Ok.

You know things are going
about as expected

at the moment.

I'll see you both tomorrow then.

Yeah, uh,
I may or may not be there.

Oh?

Yeah, I've just got a lot
of things

that I need to do.
How's San Jose?

It's fine.

Um, Olivia?

Yeah?

Um, nothing. Never mind.

Bye.OLIVIA: Bye.

JULIAN: Come see this.
Touch it.

CJ: What?

No? You won't do that?

JULIAN: Is that good?

CJ: Yeah, definitely.

I've only seen this
in pornos.

JULIAN:
You're doing fine.

You're doing really fine.

CJ: Oh. Oh.

Yea. Whoo.

JULIAN: You wanna try
being on top?

CJ: I'm so glad
I did this with you.

Felisha.
Hi.

Hi. Wow.
What a surprise.

Is--is he asleep?

Hah, in a sense.Is that why we whisper?

Possibly, yes. Yes.

Ok.
Yes. He's asleep.

I just felt like
maybe I should
come back early--

Yeah, I think
maybe we should go outside

because I'm having
a really hard time
hearing you.

I heard something.Oh, I didn't.

What is going on?

Nothing, nothing.Olivia. What is--

It's really tough
to understand.

Please.
You really don't want
to see this.

No!

I'm so sorry, Felisha.

The camerawoman?!

Why is the camerawoman
in the video?!

JULIAN: Uhh...

Please, put some clothes
back on.

This was not
part of the deal!

I'm so sorry, Felisha.
They did this on their own--

JULIAN: Felisha?

Felisha,
let's all calm down--

I thought she was gay.

I did too!

You bitch.

No, no, no, no.
This is no one's fault.

Ok, it might
actually be yours.

You seem bent on
reaffirming the male
philandering stereotype.

How could you expect
anything--

No.
Do not blame him, ok.

He was doing you
a favor.

You're all beautiful women.

Things happen the way
that they're supposed to.

CJ, wait!

I can't believe
that I trusted you,

and now Julian's
in love?

Yeah,
clearly I'm a non-threat.

No,
that's not what I meant--

Of course it is!

You think that
you can reaffirm

your relationship
with your boyfriend

by serving him up
to a lesser partner--

No. Not true!Absolutely true.

Just serve him up
as a sexual sacrifice!

No, I told you why,
Olivia.

It's because I--

it's because
I cared about you
as a friend.

So the experiment has taken
several unexpected turns,

including the end
of some relationships

and the beginning of others

none of which involve me.

Get in there, sexy man.
Get in there.

I am danced out.
I am done dancing.

Oh. She's taking off
her shoes.

JAMES: Hey! Hey, no shoes
in the house.

No shoes. No shirts!
No shirts in the house.

No shirts in the house.No, sir, no shirts.

No shirts.No shirts. No shirts.

SHERRI:
No pants in the house.

JAMES:
No pants in the house.

Hey hey!

Ack.
I'm being attacked.

You have to be
careful with--

Wait, is this uncomfortable
for you?

Oh, no.

You know
how many gals my age

get to watch
hot guy-on-guy sex?

Statistically, none.

So which one of you
is the bottom?

BOTH: He is.

What is going on
in here?

Aah!

Mother!
What are you doing?

We didn't know
that you were up, Honey.

We didn't know you'd be home.

Yeah, well, I am.

JAMES: Sorry, Olivia.
Sorry.

You don't look
any different--

You told her?!

What, so my life
is an open book,
an open joke?

We all care about you.

If you ever wanted
to share--

Yeah, I would have told
you myself.

I wish.
Ok, here it is.

I'm still a fucking virgin,
Mother!

Oh, well, maybe it
just wasn't meant to be--

You know, you can
just save your feeble clichés
for the morning.

Oleo, I'm not going
to be here
in the morning.

Oh?

Well, here it is.
I'm in love!

Sher,
still the free spirit.

Oh, and just so darn
open-minded!

Um, Olivia, this is Dan.

Dan, this is Olivia,
my eldest.

Ah, so nice
to finally meet you.

Whoa, how are you feeling?

Much better.

Let me get
you something to wear.

Why is he not
fully clothed?

Because he barfed
all over his shirt.

Should I even bother
asking who he is?

Dan and I were
college sweethearts.

DAN:
I remember it like
it was yesterday.

SHERRI: Oh, he always
had a way with words!

Please tell me
that you didn't come up here

to take up with this man.

No! No. It was something
where we wanted

to see where it would go.

It's just like
old times.

You have a husband!

James, you can't just bring
in random strangers

and let them walk around
half naked!

And you wonder
why she's still a virgin.

You, out!Settle down!

Now!Wait, wait wait wait.

Let's all talk about this--

Just you and me,
I will not share, ok?

It's not worth
the trouble.

SHERRI: Oleo--

Mother, just go.

Just go!

Olivia?!

For women like my mother,
sex is simple.

Sex is meant
for people like them.

As for me...

I'm just going to take myself
out of the game.

This concludes the experiment.

Um, Olivia...

I just...

I wanna tell you
that I love you,

and I...

I don't know.
I wanna say so many things
to you.

I just have so much in my heart
that I want to say.

And I just--

I just want you
to be happy, sweetie,

and, um...

I'm sorry.

Hi. Um...you...

I was just outside.

Me too.

I tried to say something,
but I didn't.

Were you watching me?

No, I just didn't want
to startle you,
like the other day.

Great. Um...

Well, next time
maybe you can come by

when I'm not
in my pajamas.

Ok. Um, but I just...

you didn't say a time.

At the bus stop.

Oh, right!
Uh, the drive, right.

Let me go get James.

And you, um...

you can, um,
wait in here, ok?

Well, Ray Dingman is here,
and I would also like to,

um...

apologize for being
such a lunatic last night.

I hope Arturo
isn't too upset

with everything
that went down.

We'll go to his place
next time.

Well,
there won't be any need

because, um...

the experiment's over.

There's no point.
I, uh...

I can't do it.

That's why I was home
last night.

I'm just not made for...
that.

I feel like
I let everybody down.

No, you didn't.

It's ok.

It is. It's ok.

It was an experiment.

I know.

Come here.

Wait.

You did say that Ray?
He's here now?

In the flesh.

What does he want?

Um,
his top secret drive.

I didn't see it yet.

Maybe it's in the computer.

Yes! Ok, here's the drive,
um, excellent!

Hi, Ray.

James.
Hey.

Yes!
Oh, no.
That's not it.

Yes, it is!

Olivia, that's from
your experiment.

Oh, no.So where's mine?

Where's mine?

Um...

CJ must have taken it!

Who's CJ?

Um, she's the camerawoman.

I'll get it back to you.
I will!

Is this CJ,
is she trustworthy?

Yes, uh, yes!

Um, I thought you said
that it was password protected?

It's not! It's not!!

Oh, God.
Ok, we need to get it back!

I will get it back to you.
I promise. I promise!

So you wanna
know the name of my car?

Sure.

It's Olivia.

I was just kidding.

It was a joke.

♪ Look at yourself

♪ Look at me, dear

Oh! Thank you.

♪ How did we

♪ Become this, dear

♪ Why can't we learn

♪ To solve our trap

♪ You are left

♪ But behind I see black

♪ It's time against your back

Hey.
Hey.

Hey. Julian.

I need the memory card.
I think I left it here.

You're Julian?

Yeah.
Ray.

Uh, about
what happened last night

you know we can work it out--

Maybe I should just wait
out at the car

No, I am sure
that your memory card
is here somewhere.

Ok.

Olivia, you know
I, like, think you're
attractive, right?

Um, this is
a little awkward.

Prepare to die, Pissant!

I know that game.
It's Death Squad March.

Oh, yeah, well,

so I was gonna say,
maybe if you wanna

try it again sometime,
we could,

but, it kinda looks like
Ray here could probably
just get it done.

Could get it--
I don't follow.

Um...

The experiment?

Well, I thought you two
might be, like, going out.

You two
aren't going out anymore?

Nah, we never went out.

You know,
chemistry is chemistry.

You either have it
or you don't.

CJ: Julian?
Ready to go again?

Oh, yeah,
I'll be right there!

CJ's still here?

Uh, yeah,
I'm gonna go wait
in the car.

No, please!
Please. Um...

Hey!

Yeah.

I need the memory card
from your camera.

Oh!

Yay!

Here.
Give me that.

Oh! Oh!

Sweet cherry!

Did you look at this?

Uh, no.

Look, I wasn't this lesbian
chick planning

to mess around with the guy
you were gonna do, ok?

Gonna do?
So you never did do?

Uh, other things
got in the way.

I really did think
I was gay, all right?

Ok, it's fine, CJ.
It's fine.

I'm really not a bad person.

Yeah, I believe you.

Yeah, great.
So now that we have

our mission accomplished,
we're gonna go.

So...

Yeah. Um, CJ, have fun
with the brain dead zombie.

Come again?

Level 8,
Death Squad March?

Maybe you haven't gotten
that far.

Are you starting
something?

No, he's not.

Come on. Let's go.

JULIAN: I didn't even know
there was a Level 8.

Ray, I'm really sorry
about your drive.

I hope I didn't compromise
any valuable information.

To be honest,

there wasn't anything
work-related on the drive.

I thought you said something

about the Defense Department,
and--

Yeah, I did say that.
Um...

Why would you lie
about something like that?

I had a good reason.

Well, usually
I'm quite reliable

about these kinds
of things, but...

Would your experiment
have something to do with that?

Yes.

I just can't talk about it.

Shall we?

♪ You see my friend

♪ Now they're anxious
to come down ♪

♪ We feel it work out

♪ We have to sing
to the trees around ♪

♪ Holy oaks,
it's nice to meet you ♪

♪ Thanks for letting us...

OLIVIA: Oh, actually,
my apartment's
back the other way.

RAY: I know.
I just need to make

a quick detour,
if that's ok.

OLIVIA: Sure.

So what are we doing?

Oh. This is Tilden Park.
I come here every morning.

I like the sundial
and the view.

You ever been up here?

No.

I didn't even ask you
if this was ok.

No, it's fine.

It's beautiful.

Cool.

So come here,
you gotta see this.

See?

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

So what was on that drive?

There was this bet.

What kind of bet?

This could be a date.
Is this a date?

Um...

You didn't answer my question.

A dating bet.

Now I'm a little lost.

Now you didn't answer
my question.

Ok, fine, yes,
this is a date.

Good.

Ok, so James and I,

um, we weren't getting out
very much.

So we made a bet,
a dating bet.

And, um, if I lost

I had to provide him
with some pictures.

Because there was
this discussion

about the men
in our department
and who had,

based on quality and size,

and rumor was I had.

So the big--
this is embarrassing.

I feel like
I'm freaking you out.

No, I, um.

I would never allow
such information

to color my opinion of you.

I didn't think
you would.

So what's the experiment?

Yeah.

Um...

It was just
this crazy decision

that was born out
of desperation.

Desperation? You?

Yeah.

Is that so hard to believe?

Yes, actually it is.

Why?

I don't know
if you've noticed,
but, I mean...

Olivia, I turn into
a nervous wreck
when I'm around you.

I mean, look,

you have so much
going on for yourself,
obviously.

Well, your definition
of obvious escapes
most everyone else.

Well, maybe if you
went out with people
who appreciated you,

that wouldn't be a problem.

Plus, I wasn't
really interested in sex
or any of that stuff.

Every legitimate experiment
has a conclusion,

and so it follows logically,

this experiment may not
be entirely legitimate.

However, a gray zone

isn't always a terrible place
in which to be.