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1
00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:08,075
♪ ♪
2
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,979
(shrieks)
3
00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:23,290
(tires screech)
4
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,394
D'oh!
5
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,562
(grunts)
6
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:32,132
‐(woozy groaning)
‐(whirring)
7
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,268
‐(grunting)
‐("We Can Make the World Stop"
by the Glitch Mob playing)
8
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:35,335
(shouts)
9
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,573
(shouting)
10
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,807
♪ ♪
11
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,780
(propeller whirring)
12
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,649
‐Flanders.
‐(shouts)
13
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,651
♪ ♪
14
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,139
(tires screech)
15
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,314
(screams)
16
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,087
(screams)
17
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:28,355
(shatters)
18
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:32,359
(theme music playing)
19
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,201
♪ ♪
20
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,436
Hmm.
21
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,304
‐(chittering)
‐(yelps)
22
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,640
Maybe we should find
a new playground.
23
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:51,078
("La Primavera"
by Vivaldi playing)
24
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:53,747
Oh. Well, this looks nice.
25
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,749
Har‐har.
26
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,317
Shady trees,
27
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,052
bathrooms with doors
28
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,687
and that loopy‐loop slide
29
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:04,424
dumps you out
on soft recycled tires.
30
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,426
Oh, Pirellis.
31
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:09,329
Oh, look!
It's your friend Hudson.
32
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,753
My son seems
to really like your daughter.
33
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:36,923
‐Courtney.
‐Marge.
34
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,226
(chuckles)
Is that ironic or retro?
35
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:40,427
It's my name.
36
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,163
They're having so much fun.
37
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,700
‐Is she free
for a playdate tomorrow?
‐Yes.
38
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,869
Has she been in the same room
as a peanut recently?
39
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:49,870
No.
40
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:51,438
Can I check off
her vaccinations?
41
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,274
TB? DTaP?
Measles‐mumps‐rubella?
42
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,976
Yes, yes, yes.
43
00:02:58,345 --> 00:02:59,413
Breast or bottle?
44
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:00,847
Bottle, but I'm not a monster.
45
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,315
I can bring cookies.
46
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,850
(laughs)
47
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,186
White sugar.
That's hilarious.
48
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,188
I'll have to tell my partner
you said that.
49
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:11,525
Well, I'm gonna tell my partner
you mocked white sugar.
50
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:13,160
See you tomorrow.
51
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,702
Pancakes are on the table,
Homie.
52
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:24,204
And flapjacks will be ready
in a few minutes.
53
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,373
Marge, I'm trying
to lose weight.
54
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,275
Pancakes will be fine.
55
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:29,376
Are you sure?
56
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:30,410
I have to face facts.
57
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:31,745
In some small ways,
58
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,814
I've let myself go.
59
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,383
What's wrong?
Who died?
60
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:37,751
We're worried you will.
61
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:40,253
We want you to live longer, Dad.
62
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,555
Never what I want.
63
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,056
(sighs)
Fine.
64
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:44,958
You know what,
skip the pancakes.
65
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,393
I'll just have...
66
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,261
a grapefruit to go.
67
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,263
(gasping)
68
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:53,934
I didn't see the moon landing
or the fall of the Berlin Wall,
69
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,504
but I did see my father
take a grapefruit to go.
70
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:02,709
(triumphant music plays)
71
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,645
(tires screech)
72
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,215
Thanks a lot, pal!
73
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:09,716
You cost us the pennant!
74
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,284
Yeah, right there!
75
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,322
Ah, yesterday's pizza.
76
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:17,491
I've been dreaming about you,
my friend.
77
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:20,827
While I slept,
I said, "Extra large."
78
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:24,097
But I told my wife I said,
"Sexy Marge."
79
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,399
(laughs)
80
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,168
("The Blue Danube"
by Johann Strauss II playing)
81
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:39,613
Oh, why didn't I put on
my pizza‐eating gloves?
82
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:41,214
Oh...
83
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,517
("Halloween Theme"
by John Carpenter playing)
84
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,357
(phone rings)
85
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,958
CARL:Where are you, Homer?
86
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,894
Burns just calleda staff meeting.
87
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,429
The only seats are next to him.
88
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,502
Oh, God, I need a miracle.
89
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:05,472
Hey, why don't you bring
a balloon to your coworkers?
90
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:08,809
They're like kites
without the hard work.
91
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,180
How long have you been selling
balloons?
92
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,182
It's an interesting story.
93
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:18,318
♪ Well, this is a storyof a poor mountain man ♪
94
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,487
♪ Spoke worse Englishthan Mr. Jackie Chan ♪
95
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,389
♪ Then one day,he was tendin' to his still ♪
96
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:26,226
♪ Heard a hissing soundand his pants began to fill ♪
97
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,360
Helium.
98
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,862
See‐through gold.
99
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,531
Symbol, H‐E.
100
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,166
♪ Well, the first thingyou know... ♪
101
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,401
(exhales)
102
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:35,702
He's gone.
103
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,505
My best friend is gone.
104
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,673
BURNS:I want you to know
105
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:43,510
that the coworker you thought
was Chip Incognito
106
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,679
was actually me undercover.
107
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:47,747
Sorry I'm late, everybody.
Here, have a balloon.
108
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:51,451
Simpson, Mr. Burns
is a Fortune 500 CEO.
109
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,452
He's not going to...
110
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,887
Quiet, you fool.
111
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,889
(inhales)
Mmm.
112
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,457
(high‐pitched voice):
Pure, uncut helium.
113
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,926
Thanks to birthday balloons,
rarer than ever.
114
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,329
Smithers, might I remind you
we pay a fortune
115
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:05,332
for helium to cool our reactors?
116
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:06,366
(high‐pitched):
Right as always, sir.
117
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,335
That price is sky‐high!
118
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:09,669
Where did you get this?
119
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:12,339
Oh, the bumpkin I got it from
has tons of it.
120
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,340
But I got to warn you‐‐
121
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:16,076
he has no idea
of what it's worth.
122
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,744
Excellent.
(chuckles)
123
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,746
How I love a good swindle.
124
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,414
‐What do you think?
‐(whimpers)
125
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,216
He called on me!
126
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,417
Bah.
127
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:27,087
As for you, Simpson,
Employee of the Month.
128
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,357
HOMER:So, Marge,
129
00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:32,759
I killed it
at the staff meeting today.
130
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,561
The key is preparation.
131
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,063
Something amazing
has happened to Maggie.
132
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,299
She's in love.
133
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,404
Aw.
134
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:47,641
If this gets any cuter,
I'm gonna bust.
135
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,911
Aw! Ooh!
136
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,279
(barking)
137
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:55,482
Aw...!
138
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,354
(knocking)
139
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,390
BRANDINE:
Cletus, get the dang door!
140
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:07,060
I can't very well answer the
door with an unloaded shotgun,
141
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,195
can I, woman?
142
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,298
(stilted Southern accent):
Howdy, neighbor.
143
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:15,235
May I offer you
some Manhattan squirrel chowder?
144
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:18,471
(sniffing)
You smell like indoor plumbin'.
145
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:19,673
(normal voice:)
Mm. He's onto us.
146
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,574
No need to pretend
we're inbred hicks.
147
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:22,976
(grunts)
No offense, goober.
148
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,145
None taken.
149
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,081
(bleats)
150
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,684
All right, Spuckler,
you've got helium, which I want.
151
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:31,985
I've got what you want,
152
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,087
a tin cup filled with dimes.
153
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,690
‐Let's make a deal.
‐(jangling)
154
00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:38,158
Now, hold on.
155
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:40,593
I likes to have a drink
with a feller
156
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,363
beforen I make
a busy‐ness deal.
157
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,932
(chuckles)
I have imbibed every intoxicant
158
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,601
from sweet Yale beer
to Flint, Michigan water.
159
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:49,936
Do your worst.
160
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,005
(gulps, shudders)
161
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,842
Absolutely no effect upon my...
162
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,510
(groaning)
163
00:07:57,577 --> 00:08:00,180
(upbeat cabaret music playing)
164
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,459
Sir, maybe this Spuckler fellow
165
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:14,160
is a little smarter
than we thought.
166
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,462
Nonsense.
167
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,530
Ow!
168
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:19,699
(whimpers)
169
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,802
Hmm. Perhaps it takes an idiot
to catch an idiot.
170
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:23,870
Hello!
171
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,005
Could I get a little help?
172
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:26,873
I dropped my sandwich in here.
173
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,978
You and Mr. Spuckler will enter
into what the hoi polloi
174
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,813
called a "friendship,"
175
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,182
then use that friendship
to destroy his life
176
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,584
from the inside out.
177
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,519
I don't know.
He's got kids.
178
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:42,422
I can't cheat a family
out of their home.
179
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,524
Mm‐hmm.
But you're perfectly fine
180
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,226
cheating me out of their home.
181
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,695
Oh. You're trying to confuse me.
182
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:51,064
I got to get out.
Where's the trap door?
183
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,699
(whirring)
184
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,733
(hoarsely):
Save me.
185
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,069
You know Weinstein
from Accounting.
186
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,070
(chuckles)
187
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,538
If you're confused,
188
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:01,975
perhaps these two gentlemen
can clarify things.
189
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,544
This fellow loves
inflicting pain.
190
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:06,146
And this fellow loves to laugh
191
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,348
while he watches this one
produce the pain.
192
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,483
Are you the pain guy
or the laugh guy?
193
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,484
‐(grunts)
‐(groans)
194
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,553
(laughing)
195
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,355
Answer the question.
196
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,058
‐D'oh!
‐(laughing)
197
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:22,362
Hello?
198
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,631
Maggie Simpson here
for a playdate.
199
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,199
COURTNEY:Hudson's on a conference call.
200
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,767
‐I'll buzz you in.
‐(buzzes)
201
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,471
You have a lovely home.
202
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,473
What is this floor made out of?
203
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,708
The tile was a Venetian church
204
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,211
which we dismantled,
shipped over by small boat
205
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:41,648
and had lovingly installed
by a 99‐year‐old I. M. Pei.
206
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:43,216
That sounds pricey.
207
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,385
No, the toilet is pricey.
208
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:48,721
The plumbers we hired to replace
it are very inefficient.
209
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:51,791
(Donkey Kong Country theme
playing)
210
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,831
♪ ♪
211
00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,866
Let's go, you little runts.
212
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,435
What? Are your diapers full?
213
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:05,105
Would you like some coffee as
you fill out a sexual history?
214
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,606
Sexual history?
215
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,708
So our babies can be friends?
216
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,710
Here's mine.
217
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,446
(mechanical barking)
218
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:14,948
All right.
219
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,617
Cream, no sugar.
220
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:27,527
So unusual to see a baby
with a pacifier these days.
221
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,467
Your baby has
such interesting hair.
222
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,571
You don't mind
that I babyproofed your baby
223
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,907
‐from my baby, do you?
‐Yes, I do.
224
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,775
Very much.
225
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,744
Maggie, let's go. Now.
226
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,379
And we're not coming back.
227
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,615
(melancholy music plays)
228
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,452
(pickax tapping)
229
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,728
(Southern accent):
Whatcha doing there, friend?
230
00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:03,897
Good to see you again.
231
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,833
‐A‐yup.
‐A‐yup.
232
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,701
Nothing like a good "a‐yup"
233
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,037
‐to put a man at ease.
‐A‐yup.
234
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,039
‐A‐yup.
‐A‐yup.
235
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,175
‐A‐yup.
‐A‐nope.
236
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:16,843
I mean, a‐yup.
237
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,011
Say, friend,
238
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:20,013
looks like
you're working awful hard
239
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:23,616
to suck the helium
into them thar Mylar balloons.
240
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,451
Oh, it's powerful tiresome.
241
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,588
But the Lord done put helium
under my feet,
242
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,890
and I must not spill it
into the sky.
243
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,292
BURNS:Now, listen.
244
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,228
Explain that you have a way
to make his life easier.
245
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,729
Pretend it's your idea.
246
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:38,731
He's stupid enough
to believe you have an idea.
247
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,600
Say, "What if I told you
248
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,802
there was a wayto harvest that noble gas?"
249
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,739
"What if I told you there was
a way to harvest that noble gas
250
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,442
without the strain
on your mouth puffer."
251
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,110
I'd say, "Aw, pshaw,"
252
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:53,746
but then I'd follow it
with a "Go on."
253
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,815
‐BURNS: Excellent.
‐"Excellent."
254
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,750
BURNS:No, don't say excellent.
255
00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,586
"No, don't say excellent."
256
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:00,753
BURNS:No, don't say that, either.
257
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,989
"No, don't say that, either."
258
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,091
‐BURNS: Just shut up.
‐"Just shut up."
259
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,727
I'll have to mull your proposal,
260
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:10,763
especially that last crazy part.
261
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:14,601
(exhales) You just saved me
a passel of work.
262
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,737
Now I can spend more time
making more family.
263
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,239
Homer J. Simpson.
264
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:22,775
Cletus Delroy Montfort
Bigglesworth Spuckler.
265
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,744
Now, let's go yonder
266
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,013
and get ourselves
a mess of catfish.
267
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,750
All right, I'm gonna get my arm
so deep into that catfish hole,
268
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:33,820
that ole chucklehead
just bites my bone.
269
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,590
Easy‐peasy.
270
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,093
(screams)
271
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:42,762
Now, don't scare him.
It sours up the flavor.
272
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:44,998
(screaming)
273
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:49,469
(whimpers)
It's licking my eye.
274
00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:51,971
‐(grunting)
‐(screaming)
275
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,706
‐Is it dead?
‐Mm‐hmm.
276
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,208
Thank you.
277
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,809
All right, nothing like
278
00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,879
a good ole
Spuckler family fish fry.
279
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,815
Dear Lord,
thank you for bringing
280
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:04,817
this hairless swamp beast
our way.
281
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:08,921
‐Aw.
‐His wisdom regarding
your mystery balloon gas
282
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:11,858
has helped us Spucklers
become a two‐radio family.
283
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:14,193
Homer,
I want to be your partner.
284
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,863
Seal the deal
with a hillbilly handshake.
285
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,164
Come on.
286
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:22,335
I consider you family now,
287
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,905
which is not really
that select a circle.
288
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:31,911
(upbeat cabaret music playing)
289
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:46,893
BURNS:
Excellent.
290
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,394
(gasps)
Where'd that come from?
291
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,730
Well done, Simpson.
We'll take him for everything
292
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,398
except the couch on his lawn.
293
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:53,900
Well, but we're family.
294
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:56,369
‐Couldn't you
just screw him half over?
‐(scoffs)
295
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:57,937
No one screws anyone half over.
296
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,906
It's like having
half a billion dollars.
297
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:00,907
What's the point of that?
298
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,976
What's up?
299
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,378
I think we're both upset,
300
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,380
but I'm worried
you're gonna talk first.
301
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,015
No, you go ahead.
302
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:12,018
(sighs)
I'm supposed to screw over a guy
303
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,353
that's only been nice to me.
304
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:15,254
I'm denying Maggie happiness
305
00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:18,257
‐because I can't stand
the mother of her friend.
‐Aw.
306
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:19,759
Maggie'll be fine.
307
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,094
I just played with her.
308
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,897
(chuckles) She still thinks
I've got her nose.
309
00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:26,199
Wait, where'd I put it?
310
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,034
Not here.
311
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,335
No. No.
312
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:33,506
Oh, look what you found.
313
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:37,777
I have something
I need to tell you.
314
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,045
(groans)
315
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,880
Hudson had a birthday party,
316
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:43,516
but I didn't tell you,
so you missed it.
317
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,053
I can explain.
318
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,455
That other mom
was just so annoying
319
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:52,258
with her aerial silks
and those yoga pants.
320
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,594
She does Pilates, not yoga.
321
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,763
She made me feel bad
about myself.
322
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:59,932
You get it, right? Right?
323
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,541
♪ ♪
324
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,710
Get this contract signed,
Simpson.
325
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,211
‐Or what?
‐Hmm.
326
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,247
Perhaps you need a little taste
of what's in store.
327
00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:15,381
‐(grunts)
‐Ow!
328
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,250
(laughs)
329
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:18,718
Sorry, Smithers.
330
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,887
We didn't want to leave a mark
that Cletus could see.
331
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:22,922
But you could've
warned me first.
332
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:24,490
Fair enough. Watch your back.
333
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:27,960
‐(grunts)
‐(laughs)
334
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,098
Well, if it ain't
my bestest friend
335
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,933
on God's flat Earth.
336
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,935
‐Oh.
‐So, what's in your hand?
337
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:38,938
Some sort
of a friendship certificate?
338
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,440
Uh, you know, just something
339
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:43,042
to put our partnership
on the up‐and‐up.
340
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:46,446
Hey, what's more up‐and‐up
than the helium business?
341
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,114
(laughs)
342
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,783
‐Ain't you gonna read it?
‐I trust you,
343
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,953
like a sheep
trusts a friendly wolf.
344
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,022
(squawks)
345
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:01,060
I signs with an "X"
346
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,030
'cause that's the kind
of iPhone I got.
347
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,399
And now for the second slash
348
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,900
that makes it official.
349
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,735
Oh, I need a straightedge.
350
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,138
Straight‐Edge!
Get over here, boy!
351
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,207
Yes, Daddy.
352
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,410
I can't do it.
353
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,482
‐You done floated my mark‐maker.
‐I won't
354
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,151
let you sign it. It's all
a trick to steal your helium.
355
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:29,155
You was gonna steal
from a man what has 29 kids?
356
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,324
BRANDINE:
30. (gasps) 31!
357
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:33,726
Yeah, but I told you
before it was too late.
358
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:39,365
Okay, we're still buddies.
359
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,701
Getting mad
at city folk for lying
360
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,003
is like getting mad
at your six‐year‐old
361
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:45,738
for not cleaning her gun.
(chuckles)
362
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,074
‐Put her there.
‐Uh, that's your left hand.
363
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,243
They's both left hands.
364
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:52,211
Simpson, you fool.
365
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,046
I hope you kissed your wife well
this morning,
366
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,915
because it will be the last one.
367
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,083
Well, it was a medium.
368
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,618
Part of it hit her ear.
369
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,988
Hey, you harm my friend,
370
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,023
you ain't getting balloon one
of my helium.
371
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:05,391
And I mean ever.
372
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,993
Quite the dilemma.
373
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:09,862
Smithers, solve this
if you don't want another kick.
374
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,364
Cletus, about your helium.
375
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:13,533
What if we paid you
a fair price?
376
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,501
County fair or state fair?
377
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,169
I can't lose
to someone so stupid.
378
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:18,738
Goons, get him.
379
00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:28,581
We'll pay you what's right.
380
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:32,084
We have a deal. Have your people
call my basset hound.
381
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:35,588
Well, this'll help you forget
your billionaire troubles.
382
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,291
Have a toke on this, friend.
383
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,894
(high‐pitched):
Help me! Help me!
384
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,095
You'll rue the day.
385
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,064
Smithers, power lines!
386
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:47,133
‐(screams)
‐(goon laughing)
387
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,237
Oh, Maggie.
388
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,906
You're too young to be miserable
the rest of your life.
389
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,107
In this rom‐com,
390
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:57,443
I am not going to be
the mean mother.
391
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,946
Let's go.
392
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,414
(tires screech)
393
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:18,965
(sighs) You know,
the one thing we have in common
394
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,566
is we're willing to pretend
395
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,969
that we like each other
for our children.
396
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,304
To that, I say, "Kiss‐kiss."
397
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,242
("Wedding March" playing)
398
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,261
("You're My Best Friend"
by Queen playing)
399
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:57,503
♪ Ooh, we're sharingsome grits ♪
400
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:01,607
♪ Yours has butter,mine has possum gravy ♪
401
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:04,276
♪ We're pals,so I eat your weird food ♪
402
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:05,778
♪ Woo‐hoo‐hoo ♪
403
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:09,782
♪ Ooh, you're making me fat now,Homer ♪
404
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:13,352
♪ I don't have long to live ♪
405
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:17,289
♪ Ooh, you're the best friend ♪
406
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,492
♪ That I ever had ♪
407
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:23,462
♪ You're the onewho keeps my balloons flyin' ♪
408
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:27,500
♪ You're my moonshine,and I want you to know ♪
409
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:30,036
♪ That I'm not sniffing glue ♪
410
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:33,506
♪ I really love you ♪
411
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:38,044
♪ Oh, you're my best friend ♪
412
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:43,015
♪ Ooh, you gave me your tooth ♪
413
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:47,353
♪ I love that you're whittlin'a stool for me ♪
414
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:51,357
♪ I need two,one for each cheek ♪
415
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:55,594
♪ Two, you'll have 'emnext week, now, Homer ♪
416
00:19:55,661 --> 00:20:00,366
♪ Cool, let's pee in the creek ♪
417
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:03,202
♪ Ooh, you're a mountain man ♪
418
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:05,871
♪ Who lives off the grid ♪
419
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:09,208
♪ You chased off Burnswith a shotgun ♪
420
00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:11,210
♪ That was such fun ♪
421
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:13,913
♪ And I love to drink ♪
422
00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:16,382
♪ The methanol ♪
423
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:19,585
♪ From your still ♪
424
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:23,689
♪ Ooh, you're my best friend ♪
425
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,692
CLETUS: ♪ Ooh,you're my best friend ♪
426
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:31,263
HOMER:
♪ Ooh, I might not live ♪
427
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:35,301
BOTH:
♪ Ooh, you're my best friend. ♪
428
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:44,343
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
429
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,081
Shh!
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