All language subtitles for Superstore s05e21 California 1.eng

- Hey.
Just got an email from HR.

Carol's doing pretty well.

She can say her consonants
again.

- Nice.

Whole words
should be any day now.

So you're up for a job
at Zephra, huh?

- [whispering]
What?

Close the door.
- Oh.

[door closes]
- How did you hear?

- I have my ways.

Specifically, corporate called
and asked me for a reference.

I mean, I have my ways,

but I didn't need to use them
this time.

- Okay.
Well, what did you tell them?

- The truth.

You're smart, hardworking,

and a lot of fun to be around
in medium quantities.

- Okay.
Yeah.

That could've gone worse.

- So what happens
if you get it?

You and Pretty Boy gonna move
out to Zephra HQ,

abandon us
for that California life?

Sucking down avocados,

Jonah wearing T-shirts
in pools.

- Jonah doesn't even know
about this yet.

It's just the regional round
of interviews,

and it's such a long shot

that it's not worth getting
into a whole conversation

about our future.

- So this'll just be
our little secret then.

Like how Sayid has a huge wang.

- That's not--wait, really?

Okay, look, I'm just gonna be
gone for a couple hours,

so I told Jonah
I'm going to the eye doctor.

Will you please just--

- Got it.

You're putting your trust in me

and I will do everything
in my power

to ensure
that Jonah does not find out.

- Your powers
are not really needed here.

Just pretend
like nothing is happening.

- One performance of a lifetime
coming right up.

- There's no performance
necessary.

- Don't worry.
I got this.

- Just--less is more!

Nothing is best!

[upbeat music]

♪

- I can't believe that Brett
gets to be the Easter Bunny.

I was begging to do it,
but corporate said

that anyone who asks
more than three times can't

'cause of pedophile stuff.

- Hate to agree with corporate,
but that policy feels right.

- It's Easter fever
at our place right now.

Jerry's been practicing
his finding skills

for the egg hunt.

He's--he's getting there.

- Being newlyweds
sounds so fun.

You must be doing it
all the time.

- Uh-huh.

- All that sex and no baby.

When's Jerry gonna put the bun
in the uterus?

- Fair question, but actually,

when we're ready,
we're gonna adopt.

There's so many kids out there
who need homes.

Plus, we love our cat,
and we adopted her.

- Right, as opposed to
birthing her yourself.

- Oh, that is wonderful.

A family is the greatest gift
that you can give a child and--

and it makes sense,
'cause you know,

it can be hard to get pregnant
at our age.

- Oh, I think
I'm actually younger than you.

- Oh.
Okay.

Younger, taller, sure.

Whatever you need
to tell yourself, Sandra.

- ♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday to you

- Aww.
You don't have to--

- ♪ Don't interrupt me,
dear Cheyenne ♪

♪ Happy birthday to

[riffing]

[gasps]
♪ You

- Thanks, but my birthday
isn't till Saturday.

- Oh, I know.

I just wanted to make sure
that when you finally have

your first legal drink,
it's from me.

So are we gonna have a party?
- Nah.

We're broke as ass right now,

so we'll probably just
stay home and eat SpaghettiOs

and listen to the neighbors
fight.

- No, you--

you have to have a party.

Just ask your friends
to chip in

or, I don't know,
charge them to come.

- You think people wanna pay
to watch me get drunk?

- Cheyenne,
you're young and hot.

People would pay
to watch you kill a goat.

- Thank you.

- We are throwing you a party.

- Yay!

- [exhales deeply]

[laughing]
Sorry.

I'm a little nervous.

- Yeah, me too.

So are you coming
from consulting or finance?

- Um, retail.

- Ah.

- Oh, look at that.

All Latinas.

- Oh.
[laughs]

That's funny.

- More like Zephra
looked in their crayon box

and realized
they're missing a brown one.

- Oh, I don't think it's that.

She could be Greek.

- Could you restock
the Icelandic yogurt

when you get a chance?

Apparently, every country
in Europe gets a shot now.

- Yeah, I will,

although I'll have to check
with Amy

because I'm not sure
the new shipment came in

last night.

- Well,
Amy is at the eye doctor.

- Yeah, I know.
I mean when she gets back.

- From the eye doctor.

- Yep.
- 'Cause that's where she is.

- Mm-hmm.

- They're checking her out
for a dead spot.

- What?
- Yeah.

Right eye,
10 degrees off center,

about the size of a baseball,
she said.

- Wow, that's a lot of detail.

- It is,
and I bet you're wondering

why she hasn't mentioned it.

It's because
she doesn't want you to worry.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

You know, because
if the dead spot gets worse,

and let's be honest, it will,

you're gonna be the person
taking care of her.

Feeding, bathing,
describing the ocean.

Anyway,
it's gonna be beautiful.

Like a Nicholas Sparks novel.

I'm excited about that for you.

- ♪ Here comes
Peter Cottontail ♪

♪ Hopping down
the bunny trail ♪

- Tony!

Thank you for coming.

Sandra, this is Tony,

one of my original foster kids,

but the family he's living with
is moving to Canada, you know,

and Jerusha and I
have our hands so full

with Rose.

Anyway, you were saying

how you and Jerry wanted
to adopt a child, so...

- So she should adopt
this gentleman?

- Um...

Wow.
Thank you, but--

- Okay, look,

I know you weren't planning
on adopting right away,

but Tony
is such an incredible kid.

He's a straight-A student,
captain of the baseball team,

and he makes an amazing
grilled cheese sandwich.

- I butter both sides
of the bread.

- Oh, so good.

- Well, I just don't know if--

- Okay, look, you don't
have to decide right now,

but tell you what,
why don't we all have lunch

and see if any sparks fly, huh?

- Okay.

- This is weird, right?

- Well, this is what happens

when a company realizes
that Latinas spend money.

- Yeah.

- Hey, if it gets me a seat
at the table,

I'm not above rolling my Rs.

- Yeah, sometimes you just
gotta do the dance.

- Right.
Right.

But you don't mean, like,
a literal dance, right?

'Cause I don't know any.

- Amy Sosa?

- That's me.

Um...

[playing up accent]
Amelia Sosa.

Or just--just Amy is fine.

.

- All right, I texted Amy
and she's not responding,

but there is obviously
no such thing

as an eye dead spot.

Which I know
because I looked it up.

- All right, fine.
I'll tell you the truth.

She's not at the eye doctor.

She's taking
a saxophone lesson.

She wants to surprise you
with a smooth jazz version

of a contemporary hit.

- Okay.
Dina.

You have to tell me
where Amy is.

- Totally.
I'd love to.

It's just that...

Brett is biting it so hard
at being the Easter Bunny.

Look at him.

He's garbage.

I gotta go tag in.

- No, I--

I know you're lying!

Brett was born
to wear that suit!

- Oh, we could get,
like, a Red Bull fountain.

Ooh, or we could have,
like, a bunch of lizards there

but, like,
you could get 'em high

and see what they do.

- All I'm saying is that 21
is literally the last good age,

so this party needs to be
a little elevated.

Maybe a string quartet?

Ooh, butter
in a sophisticated shape?

- Oh.
Okay, cool.

Yeah, so, like,
one of those parties

with, like, wine and coats.

Like, people are like,
"Oh, where do I put my coat?"

and someone says,

"Oh, just put it
in Donna's room."

- It doesn't have to be stuffy.
Just nice.

We could do
specialty cocktails.

- Or we could tape
a fifth of Fireball

to every guest's hand

and then whoever finishes last
has to roll all the joints

or call the hospital.

- Over the years, I've learned

that our customers just want
the best price,

plain and simple.

So if we promote
Zephra's online sales in store,

that gets you
a bunch of new traffic.

- Uh-huh.

And what about
customers of color?

Do you have any strategies
for connecting

with any particular
demographic?

- Um...
[laughs nervously]

Yeah.
Sure.

Of course.

As a Latina--
[laughs]

I know that...

family is very important
to our culture,

so I'm thinking...

shared family accounts
with distinct user profiles.

- See?
Right there.

That's something
we wouldn't have thought of.

- Really fresh perspective.
- Yeah.

I mean, all I know
is that my mom,

she uses my Zephra account
for everything,

and I'm just like,
"Mamá, ven acá.

I have your achiote paste."
[laughs]

It's a Honduran staple.

- Oh.

- Did you grow up in Honduras?

- Well, um...

not physically,

but if you think of it
in a broader sense,

like, in the cultura
that was passed down to me,

then...
[sighs]

Still no.

Um, look, it's pretty obvious
that you invited me here

to interview
for your resident Latina

or whatever--

- No, that's not what we're--
- No, no.

It's more
about fresh perspectives.

- Right, right.

I'm qualified for this job

because I have 17 years
of experience,

and I know everything there is
to know about our customers,

but if all you're looking for

is somebody
with a spicy last name,

then I suggest
you keep looking.

- That's my water.

- I'm sorry.

- So, Tony,
Sandra is from Hawaii.

- Cool.
Do you surf?

- No, I've never been
to the beach.

But I've seen people surfing.
Like, in pictures.

- Oh!
Radical.

- Hey, sorry to interrupt
your surprise adoption.

- Oh, no, you missed it.

They were just
getting along like gangbusters.

They have so much in common,
like they're both pet lovers.

Yeah, Sandra has a cat
and Tony has an aquarium.

Tell her how many sharks
you have, Tony.

- Three.
- Three.

- Oh.

What are their names?

- They don't have names.
They're sharks.

- [whispering] Yeah.

- Obviously, we're gonna have
a red carpet area,

although lately,
purple's sort of having a day.

- Uh-huh.
Oh, hey, Bo!

- What's up, Chey?

I just stopped in
to use the employee bathroom.

Man, that flushes
like an airplane!

'Sup, Mateo?

- We're actually planning
Cheyenne's 21st.

- Oh, yeah, she texted me.

Said your ideas
were, like, hella lame.

[laughs]
- Oh, not lame.

Just--
- Yeah, man.

She said you're,
like, all up in here

trying to serve people fish
and strawberries,

making it all, like,
Mozart and Amadeus and whatnot.

Yo, we're just trying
to get turnt.

- Well, I didn't realize
we were trying to get turnt.

I can do turnt.

What if we serve White Claws?

- Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

I got an idea
that doesn't suck.

How about
everybody's got roller skates

and when you fall down,
you gotta take a sip.

- [gasps]
Oh, yeah.

That'd be awesome.
- Yeah.

- Right, right.

Oh, and we could also hand out
colored wigs.

- Oh, yeah.
Smart.

- Yo, don't write that down.

That's, like, a bad idea--

oh, you're just pretending.

Yeah, it's all good.

- Dina, come on.
Just tell me where Amy is.

- The Easter Bunny
doesn't talk.

- No, I know, and that's
very convenient for her.

- You're in the shot.

- Okay, Janet, relax.
You're not Anne Geddes.

All right, fine.
Then we will do it this way.

Thank you so much.
Happy Easter.

Look away, kids.

Oh.

Hi, Brett.

What--
[both whispering]

Amy?

- Oh, what, you actually
thought I'd get in that suit?

I've been hiding in my truck.

That thing's soaked in urine.

.

- Every millennium
has one party that craps bombs

on every other party
that millennium.

This time, that party
is Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheyfest.

Musical acts, fire eaters,
cryotherapy,

a hawk, fog and foam,

surprises, expected things,
diversity,

and all your favorite

[echoing] celebrities...

Cheyfest 2020.

Get destroyed!

- Isn't it great?

- Yeah, no, I--

I love that it's just
a mishmash of random stuff.

You know, just weird chaos.
No theme at all.

- Oh, I thought the theme was
"crap bombs on other parties."

- Yeah, it is.
I said it in the video.

- Yeah.

- Need some glasses
for your ears now too, old man?

[laughter]

- Okay, I love all these ideas,

but how are you guys gonna get
all this stuff?

- Bo can borrow
his grandma's car.

- No, I mean logistically.

It's just--all this stuff
you're promising sounds...

Sounds super litty.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

- And if you want, we can also
do the fish and strawberries.

- I never said
fish and strawberries.

- I just think
it's a little weird

that you felt you had to hide
the interview from me.

- I just didn't wanna get
into some big discussion

about how we do it
or what it meant.

I mean, I figure I'm not
gonna get the job anyway,

and I was right.

I mean, I don't think
they liked it

when I basically accused them
of being racist.

- Yeah, well,
you're better off.

- Yeah, and who wants to go
to California anyway?

It's just, like,
pretentious Florida.

- Ugh, totally.

And the way they manage
their water resources?

Get out of here, California.

[phone buzzes]
- And their nice weather?

Just--it makes you soft.

- Pass.
- Hello.

Yeah, this is Amy.

- [whispering]
You got the job?

- [whispering]
I got the job.

- Look, Sandra,
I gotta say something here.

You know you don't have
to adopt that child--

man, really,

he's a full-grown man--

just because
Glenn wants you to.

- I just feel bad

because he seems like
a good kid

and he doesn't have parents,
you know?

- Yeah, but he could have kids.

- So what have I gotta do

to put that boy into your home
today, huh?

- You know, Glenn,

I really, really
wanna be a mom

and I'm definitely planning
to adopt,

but I wasn't planning to do it
today.

- Oh, no.
Of course not, no.

Adoption isn't that simple.
It can be a long process.

But as a first step,

I was able to work
my connections

with the foster agency,

and they can arrange for Tony
to sleep at your house

starting tonight.

- Oh.

It's good to have connections.

- You know, Glenn,
you can't expect her

to take this kid into her home
without talking to Jerry first,

right, Sandra?

- Yeah, I should really
discuss this with him.

- Oh.
Yeah, absolutely.

Why don't you call him now?

- Oh, now?

Um, okay.

Hi.
It's me.

Glenn wants us to adopt
a 17-year-old and his sharks.

Uh-huh.
Three of them.

Yep, you're right.

I'll tell him.

Thanks.

He's okay with it.
- [gasps]

- Are you sure?

'Cause he could have said
anything,

and we wouldn't know.

- Yeah.

- They loved my passion
and my story.

Apparently, I have a story.
[laughs]

And they're--
they're gonna make me an offer.

- That's great.

So what are you gonna tell 'em?

- I mean,
a high-paying corporate job

where I'll never have to say

the words "raccoon carcass"
again?

I think I--

I think I might take it.

- Oh.

- What?
- No, it's just I--

[sighs]

A second ago,
you seemed so annoyed

by being treated
like the token Latina.

- Yeah, no, I mean--

but at least they're thinking
about diversity.

That's a good thing, right?

- Do you even want
to work there?

- Yeah.
[stutters]

They liked my ideas,
and I think I could--

I could make a difference.

- For a billion-dollar
corporation?

- And for the people here.

- Look, I know that that's
what you want to do,

I get that, but--
I mean, come on.

How often does that
really happen?

- So what am I supposed to do,
Jonah?

Just stay the manager here
forever?

I've been here for 17 years.

I don't have a degree.

Or, like, family connections
or, like, any other options.

This is my chance.

Honestly, I don't care
why they're giving me the job.

It's a good job, and...

I'm gonna take it.

- Well, then...

Congratulations.

- Thanks.

.

- Hey, Mateo,
can I ask you something

and promise not to freak out?

- No.
- Uh-huh.

Okay, so if 500 people
bought tickets to my party,

how many do you think
will actually show up?

Probably, like, 30, right?

- You sold 500 tickets?

- My friend Chloe reposted it,

so it really took off
in the foot fetish community.

- Chey, this is really bad.
- Well, it's all your fault!

You're supposed to be
the responsible adult

who talks me out of doing
dumb stuff.

- You said my ideas were lame!

- They were, but mine were,
like, too good.

Maybe it'll be okay though.

Wait, is there a thing

where if you promise something
to someone

and they pay for it,

you have to give them
the thing that you said?

- Yes.

- But, like, legally?
- Yes.

- Oh, dang.
I was hoping no.

- Hey.

Did you hear Amy got that job?

She's gonna be making
so much more money than you.

- Yeah, well, she already does.

- Yeah, but now she's really
running up the score.

Anyway, she's gonna kill it
out in California.

I mean professionally.

She's gonna take a major hit
in the hotness rankings.

- So you're okay
with Amy leaving?

- Me?
Oh, no, I hate it.

I'm gonna go home
and stress eat

an entire jar of olives.

But this is pretty huge
for her.

- Yeah. Yeah.
It is, yeah.

It's good that you're being
so supportive.

I went a different direction
with it.

- Really?
Come on.

You're a light-boned weakling
who brings in no money.

I mean, if you're not
emotional support for Amy,

then what's the point of you?

I mean, I've seen you drive.
That's a mess.

You can't grow facial hair.
- Okay, I get it.

- I think about you
holding a hammer

and try not to laugh.

[laughs]
I'm picturing it now.

I wish you could see this.
You're really struggling.

[laughs]

- So I talked to Jerry,

and he said we could probably
fit your shark tank

in the kitchen
if we take out the oven.

- Cool.

Who's Jerry?

- He's your new dad.

- Oh.

Can we stop at Panda Express?

- Sure.

[Amy Stroup's "Dark Runs Out"]

- Mom, stop.

[heartfelt music]

- Hey.

What's going on here?

- Some kid bit the butt

off every single one
of these chocolate bunnies.

Some future murderer I assume.

- Oh, 100%.

So I found a really great place
for you.

It's, like, 10 minutes away
from Zephra,

and it's right by a park
so Parker could play

and you could teach Emma
to play chess.

Once I teach you.

Also, I found a couple options
in Menlo Park.

- Jonah.

- Apparently, the public
transportation is really easy.

- Jonah, what is this?

What are you doing?

- I'm--I'm getting on board.

You've got a great opportunity
here

and I'm excited for you.

- So you don't think
I'm selling out.

- I think you're right.

You gotta do this.

- ♪ Fold it like a flag

♪ Hold it
till the dark runs out ♪

- [sighs]
Well, I appreciate that.

Because there's so much
to think about.

I mean, there's the kids and--
[sighs]

What am I gonna do
about Emma's school?

And then there's this guy
that I'm seeing in St. Louis.

- [sighs]
Well, maybe...

that guy you're seeing
should just...

go with you.

♪

- Oh.

Wow.

You mean, like--

like, he would just move
to California?

For me?

- Yeah, I mean, well--

you know, why should you
be the only one

who gets a taste
of that sweet public transpo?

- Yeah, but their water
resource management is--

- I can overlook it.

- ♪ You find yourself
holding on ♪

- Okay.

Yeah.

Let's--let's move to California
together.

- ♪ You find yourself
holding on ♪

- Let's do it.

And just to be clear,

when you say "this guy
you're dating in St. Louis,"

that's me, right, because
if you're seeing somebody else,

I'd prefer he not come with us.

- ♪ Holding on

♪

Okay.
I was just--just checking.

- ♪ Let your heart

♪ Be bright

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