All language subtitles for Single.Parents.S02E19

Angie? Angie D'Amato?!

Is it you? It's Will Cooper.

- From friendship?
- What's this?

I'm doing a thing
where I don't recognize you

'cause I never see you anymore.

I saw you yesterday.

But I sent you a text last
night, and you didn't respond.

Normally, when I send you
a crying Olsen twin,

- I hear right back.
- Colin came over.

In honor of Earth Day,

we cut the power, we lit some candles,

and then, uh, we talked.

Like, with all our clothes on.

And it was hot.

Are you in a healthy relationship?

Up until now, I haven't had
the greatest taste in men.

I guess I just thought
I couldn't do any better,

but now I'm thinking
maybe I deserve a good guy.

You do.

- We both do.
- What?

I've been in the market
for a style icon,

someone to help me juuge my look,

and, voilà, enter Colin.

He Chunneled his way
right into my closet.

Don't tell him,
but I've been quietly collecting

inspiration from his spring look.

Hey, Angie. Will.

Ohh, nice jacket.

Oh, my God. Is it the same one?!

What are the odds?

Well, pretty good,

considering you asked me where I got it

and then for the link
and then you made me write

- the URL longhand on your arm.
- I did.

Oh, uh, uh, Angie, Will.

- You've met my ex-wife, Priscilla.
- Hi.

- Hey.
- Ah, how lovely.

You two are blazer buddies.

Stop it!

Thank you very much.

Okay. On that weird note,

uh, let's head out.

Ahh.

Burberry, 100% wool.
Burberry, 100% wool.

Burberry, 100% wool.
Burberry, 100% wool.

Ugh! It's tough
to be with him in public.

Things have been messy
since the divorce.

Oh, well, you can't be
too hard on yourself.

I'm divorced myself.

I know how complicated it can get.

So, you're still screwing
your ex-wife, too?

Well, this is my day now.

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Burberry, 100% wool.

Poppy, is there something
you want to tell me?

Miggy! Did you open my mail?

Not the point. These are all baby books.

Are you pregnant?!

Is it Douglas'?

Oh, God, it's not Douglas'.

Will's?!

Ooh, Douglas gonna be mad.

Okay, calm down. I'm not pregnant.

But something happened
when I saw Sharon giving birth.

I think I want to have another baby.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Are you sure?
Have you thought about this?

'Cause these things can be
a real pain in the ass.

- Ass.
- And they're always listening.

Look, I thought I was done after Rory.

But then it hit me.

You know, I have a chance to do
this over again with Douglas,

someone who I actually trust.

And I think we'd make a great team.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Have you told Douglas yet?

No, and I can't even
focus on moving in with him

until I get this off my chest.

So, I'm gonna tell him
tonight at dinner.

Well, how do you think that's gonna go?

'Cause I know two things about Douglas.

- Yeah?
- He tall and he rich.

Yeah.

What's that have to do with anything?

Oh, I forgot. There's a third thing.

Uh, he don't like kids.

Okay, look, Douglas has changed
since we started dating, all right?

You know, last week,

I saw him laughing at something...

- and I was like, "What you laughing at?"
- Yeah.

And he was like
"Uh, something from 'Zootopia.'"

That's not his laugh,
but he did love "Zootopia."

That is his laugh.

Man, another baby.

I don't know if I could
do it again, Poppy.

Ass!

- Damn it!
- Damn it.

I gotta stop saying words.

So, that's how I racked up
seven years of late fees

from one copy of "Shakespeare in Love."

That's thousands of dollars.

Yeah, well, hey, if Blockbuster
wants it back so bad,

they can come and get it.

Oh, wait. No. They can't. They gone.

Angie, you are exquisite.

Uh, right.
Should we, uh, head back then?

Hey.

Colin, are you afraid of those geese?

What?! No! Don't be silly.

It... There's just so many of them

with their feathers
and their black-tar eyes

and their giant,
pulsing gymnast breasts.

They're harmless, believe me.

Will and I come here
all the time to feed them.

Ah, yes. Will.

He won't seem to leave us alone.

Every time I turn around, boop!
He's there.

That's just Will being Will.

Yeah, he's like a salesperson

who can't wait to get you
a fitting room started.

Right. Quick question...
Is he obsessed with me?

Because the vibe I'm getting
is less salesperson

and more guy who's gonna
murder me on a row boat

and then pretend to be me.

He's just inspired by your style.

Trust me. He is not obsessed with you.

Fine.

Deny it if you want,

but we need some alone time.

I've read about
this quaint B&B in Camarillo.

We could go tonight.

Oh.

Son of a bitch. What?

Angie, is Colin with you?
I need to talk to him.

- It's very important.
- You know, it's not a good time.

We're going out of town.

He's taking me to a bed
and breakfast in Camarillo.

- Bye!
- Angie!

Away, beast!

Before we order,

I just... I want to say something.

We're about to tell the kids
that we're moving in together,

and once we do that,
there's no going back.

Oh, agreed.

On the highway of our relationship,

this dinner is the
"Last Gas for 250 miles" sign.

Yeah, exactly.

So, you know,
before we take that next step,

I just think we should talk
about how we see our future.

Well, Douglas, would you be open to...

I-I-I-I'm sorry, my love. Just a second.

Uh, Hidalgo, good man?

How are you? Nice to see you.

Why is it so crowded?

Dr. Fogerty, the minimums.

Oh, good God.

Members have to spend a certain minimum

on food and drink each month.

If I don't spend it tonight, I lose it.

Uh, Hidalgo, how short am I?

Shut your beautiful mouth!

Okay, Hidalgo,
uh, uh, uh, 12 lobsters. Now!

Okay, Douglas, can we just
forget the minimums?

We need to talk.

No, we need reinforcement mouths.

I got you, fam.

Yo, Tony. That was D-Glass.

He said he needs
our stomachs at the club.

And he said to wear your loose pants,

the ones you wear for parkour?

Wait, you're going?

But there are no grown-ups.

We've never been left
without grown-ups before.

Chill, Soph.

Douglas said the club
is right next door,

and if there are any problems,

the sauna doubles as a panic room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My question...

Who are you leaving in charge?

Just as a reminder, I am the oldest,

and everyone else here is garbage.

They are, but you're a bully,

and this is my way
of getting back at you.

Graham, you're my guy.

Me?

- Mm-hmm.
- You're putting me in charge?

But I'm a born beta.

No, you're not. Do what I say.

You got it, chief.

All right! Jack, let's get outta here.

Tony, I think those are
Poppy's pants, but they work.

Let's eat.

Okay.

I say we get in our jam-jams,
brush our teeth,

and greet our old friend sleep
with open arms.

We're not doing that.

But Miggy put me in charge.

"But Miggy put me in charge."

You sound like that.

That's what you sound like to us.

All right, people, listen up.

This is the night
that we've been waiting for.

No parents, no babysitters.

We finally get to break... the Big Rule.

Behold, my babies.

Xanadu.

- Douglas' room.
- The room we're never allowed in.

With the bed we're never allowed on.

See those sheets?

They have never seen crumbs
in their lives.

That ends tonight.

As leader, I would like
you all to behave...

Our lives start now!

Stop! No!

No!

I can't let Angie get deeper
in this relationship

if Colin's cheating.

But what if Priscilla's lying?

I... I just wish I could talk to Colin

and get to the bottom of it.

Sir, please. I work on commission.

For the cowl neck, do you want
the medium or the large?

I'm not gonna get it.

But you're right. I am obsessing.

I'll just talk to Colin
when they get back.

Hi, Angie.
I really need to talk to Colin.

What's he wearing? No, don't tell me.

Let it be a surprise.

Okay, give me a hint.

You know what?

I have been trying to paint you
as my non-crazy friend

who isn't gonna wear Colin's skin,

but you're making it really hard.

I wouldn't have driven
to three different B&Bs

looking for you if it wasn't important.

Do you know how many cats
I've met with the name "Mister"?

Or how many cups of Earl Grey
tea I've had to drink?

I'm shaking!

Damn it. I was a minute ago.

Okay, are you lonely? Is this my fault?

Should I be setting you up with people?

Well, if you've been
sitting on people, yeah,

but in the meantime,
I need to talk to Colin.

Is everything alr... Ohh.

It's for you.

Good luck.

That's a great robe.

You can have it.

Just don't hurt me. I have a son.

Look, I don't want to put anything
in Angie's head if it isn't true,

so just give me an honest
answer, and I will go.

Your ex-wife told me
you're still sleeping together.

Are you?

She's lying!

I would never hurt Angie.

- Priscilla is obsessed with me.
- Mm.

If anyone should get that, it's you.

Yeah. Being on TV every third Thursday,

I have my own fair share of stalkers.

Well, just one. Makes parole in July.

That seemed a lot farther away
last year.

I'm talking about you, Will!

You're obsessed with me!

No, I'm not!

That is not why I'm here.

Oh.

Is it Angie?

Of course.

You're obsessed with Angie.

What? Angie?

Angie D'Amato?

Brown hair, yea high, has a face?

You did drive two hours

to break up her romantic evening.

I am just looking out for her, okay?

She deserves to be happy.

She's basically the best person I know.

Are you two fart clowns done?

Yes.

We're done with our business.

I'll go check out.

You got a room?

The innkeep wouldn't let me up here

unless I got one.

"Innkeep"?

He is a very strange man.

You keep saying that
like I'm arguing with you.

All right, game faces on.

Big-ticket items only.

The Lover's Steak, Clams Delpatrico.

Uh, h-here you go...

Open-faced Komodo Dragon Party Hoagie.

Serves six.

This is the zone we need
to be in, people, all right?

Anyone in for the Stingray Caviar?

Ah, there we go! Tony came to play!

And what will we be drinking?

None for me.
I have dance in the morning.

All right. Thanks for coming,
Miggy. Huge help.

All right, the rest of us
are just gonna have to dig in.

Uh, Hidalgo,

we're gonna start with the, uh,

sampler of the wagyu long bones,
please, for the table.

Apologies, Dr. Fogerty.

One of the customers just ordered

- the last of the dry-aged steaks.
- Who?

It's Mr. Dan Marino's party, sir.

Marino. That snake!

Hey, I thought you loved Dan Marino.

He ruined "Shape of Water"
for me. Unforgivable.

"Shape of Water"
ruined "Shape of Water."

Don't, Miggy.

- Don't.
- My bad.

Well, there goes the big-ticket items,

which means we're gonna have to
patch this together

with burgers and thick soups.

- Hey. Hey, girl.
- Tony, what do you think about...

- Yeah.
- Hey, hey, hey.

- Yeah.
- Hey, girl.

- What?!
- Oh, hey.

Did you tell Douglas
that you wanted a baby?

Okay, I tried,

but he's not gonna focus on this

until he meets that damn minimum.

Maybe tonight's not the night.

No, no, no, it has to be, okay?

Tomorrow, the move-in train leaves,

and you have to know
if you got a baby on board.

Okay, so, it seems like I have no choice

but to stuff Douglas with club food
so I can get him back to talking.

- Here goes.
- Okay.

Hey, babe, I have an idea.

All these suckers are ordering
the expensive apps and entrées.

Why don't we flip the script?

Eat upside-down.

- No.
- Okay.

Why don't we order
the expensive desserts

now while they're available

and then move on to whatever's left?

You genius.

I'm dating the smartest
woman in the world.

- It's me.
- Uh, Hidalgo,

uh, let's get a large tray

of the Top Shelf Tiramisu
with the Porcelana Cocoa.

Happy Earth Day, Dan Marino.

You people are animals.

Ritz crackers?!

A man sleeps here!

Have some respect.

Sophie, this mattress has memory foam.

It's going to remember you!

Someone pass me a dark soda.

I'm gonna make it rain in this piece!

If we get caught,
I'm the one who's going down.

I'm the leader!

What are you gonna do? Hug us to death?

_

_

Okay, and just when I write you off,

you find another way to dazzle me?

Move, people!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Whoo!
- Aah!

_

Ah! Innkeep.

Please, just call me Josh.

- Innkeep Josh.
- No.

I am not going to need my room tonight.

I'm sorry, we don't offer refunds.
Let me get your bill.

I'm obligated to ask you
to sign this guestbook

and enjoy this Earl Grey tea.

Fine.

But I'm gonna clink the spoon
around the cup all loud-like.

Oh, my God.

Will you read this to me?

I've drank too much tea.

I think I'm starting to see things.

"Colin and Priscilla Manning."

Stayed here last week.

He lied to me.

Worse than that, he lied to Angie!

Sir, I'm going to have to
ask you to keep it down.

People are trying
to cheat on people here.

Okay, we are on a roll.

I got us a bottle of Port,
and I sent two over

to Dan Marino's table...

one for him and one for the
Super Bowl ring he never got.

Tony, give us the honors.

- There it is!
- Wow!

Oh, I'm sorry, guys.

Uh, Little Jack made a boom-boom.

- I'm gonna go change him.
- Terrific.

Uh, Tony, assist?

Remember those days?
Diapers? Boom-booms?

Oh, I do.

- In fact, I was just thinking that...
- Oh, that poor bastard.

The sleepless nights,

the 15 bags you need to go anywhere,

the crumbs in the car.

My God, all the crumbs.

Ah, thankfully, it's all behind us.

Well, yeah, but Little Jack's so cute.

Don't you ever miss it?

Nope. Done it twice now.

Worked out the kinks with Xander,

and then I knocked it out of the park

with Amy and the bonus one.

So I'm good.

But what's better than raising kids?

Lots of things.

Besides, I don't want to be
putting kids through school

when I'm 70.

Imagine the toll that'll take on Tony.

You and I can live the dream,

doing what we want when we want.

Total freedom.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait, wait, wait. What the hell is this?

Mr. Marino sends his compliments.

Uh, Hidalgo, you put those ribs down,

and I'm gonna write you out of the will.

Poppy, could you believe it?

Poppy?

What, I...

D...

Marino.

Wait, so, Will came all the way
down here just to ask

if you've ever eaten at a Sonic?

Maybe he is crazy.

Should I call his mom?

Can we please just stop
talking about Will?

I don't want to see that man
for the rest of my life.

Where is he?!

God!

You know, you are making it

- impossible to defend you, dude.
- You.

You looked me in the eye
and promised not to hurt her!

What is going on?

Colin is still sleeping
with his ex-wife.

- What?
- "Colin and Priscilla,"

"Colin and Priscilla,"

"Colin and Prissy."

Wassat? A bad nickname from uni?

Let me see this.

Were you here last weekend with her?

- Listen, Angie...
- And also, how dare you try to

get in my head
about defending my friend.

I would have driven to San Diego to...

Not that far just 'cause traffic
would have been murder,

but still, I refuse to feel bad
for standing up for her.

Will. I got this.

Colin.

I thought things were good between us.

Like, freakishly good.

We took walks.

I kicked a goose in the face for you.

I'm sorry, but come on,

you must have known
that this was a rebound thing.

Oh.

Well, it was more than that for me.

I think you should go.

Yeah, fine.

Let me grab my trousers.

They're called pants here.

And you don't deserve them.

Now...

Please be a 34 waist.

Yes!

Hey, guys. How was your night?

Shh! He doesn't like it when we're loud.

Who?

- Graham?
- Five minutes.

I asked for five damn minutes!

Oh, Poppy. It's just you.

Is everything okay? Did I miss...

You know what? I don't want to know.

It has already been a day.

Tell me about it.

Want a hit?

I'll pass.

My stomach's still coming to
terms with tonight.

In fact, all of me is still
coming to terms with tonight.

I get you, baby girl.

- Life's funny.
- Yeah.

Just when you think
you got it all figured out,

it up and changes on you.

And then what are you supposed to do?

Just accept it?
Let go of the things you want?

What if you can't?

We have a saying
in the bottom of the boot...

"Be true to yourself.

Everything will work out fine."

Yeah, but what if being
true to yourself means

losing something that you love?

I can give you the tools, Poppy,

but I can't build the house for you.

Uh, just to confirm,
that is apple juice, right?

Mm-hmm.

You know, I'm just mad
at myself, honestly.

For a second there, I actually thought

it might work out with me and Colin,

but I forgot.

I only attract dirtbags.

Or there's just a lot
of terrible guys out there,

and you've had more
than your fair share.

I haven't even been honest with you

about how many have stolen my identity.

Like, a bunch.

It's not you.

You're... amazing.

And someday,

you're gonna find a nice guy

who will treat you right.

Or you just become a horse lady.

Like, just get into horses.

What was the thing that Colin
was getting in your head about?

He was just doing anything
to put me off the scent,

like launching wild conspiracy theories.

Like what?

He thought that this was, like,

about me being into you, or...

- O-Oh.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- He's crazy.
- I know.

This wine is so bad.

It's really bad.

Hey, thank you for sticking up for me.

You're a really good friend,

even if you wouldn't drive
to San Diego for me.

I would not.

Between the zoo and convention
traffic...

- Even in the carpool lane?
- No chance!

I would for you.

You know, maybe I'm tipsy right now,

but I really want to hurt Colin,

like, make his blood be outside him.

Drinking terrible wine
charged to his credit card

really isn't doing it for me.

- Well, in that case, I have an idea.
- Dude...

if it's us stealing all his clothes,

we are not doing that.

Fine, smart guy.
You come up with something.

Oh! Thank God you're here.

I've been looking everywhere for you.

I was freaking out. I shook Hidalgo.

- Douglas...
- Look, I get why you left.

And I'm sorry.

I-I know we were
just starting to get things

off of our chest before the big move,

but I just got all distracted
and caught up in all the food.

Hey, do you know when the check came,

we were within 10 cents of the minimum?

Anyway, I wasn't trying
to avoid the conversation.

I botched the dinner.

But think,

we have an unlimited amount
of dinners ahead of us,

and I promise you
that I will be giving you

my undivided attention
during all of them.

Douglas, there aren't
gonna be any more dinners.

What? Why?

Because I think we should break up.

Poppy.

Uh, about everything,

I hope that our schoolyard interactions

going forward won't be uncomfortable.

Yeah, you know what? I thought
about it, and we were casual.

You know, it's cool.
Water under the bridge.

Yeah, and, uh, thanks
for the fashion tips, Colin,

but I think I'm gonna forge my own path.

Well, good for you.

Angie, I'll, um, see you around.

Ta-ta.

Oh, Colin, drive safely.

No.

You winged bastard.

Nooooooooo!

How does your neck twist like that?!

Oh, come on!

Come on!

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com