All language subtitles for Single Parents s02e19_English

[ School bell rings ]Angie? Angie D'Amato?!

Is it you? It's Will Cooper.From friendship?

What's this?I'm doing a thingwhere I don't recognize you

'cause I never
see you anymore.

I saw you yesterday.

But I sent you a text lastnight, and you didn't respond.

Normally, when I send youa crying Olsen twin,

I hear right back.Colin came over.

In honor of Earth Day,

we cut the power,
we lit some candles,

and then, uh, we talked.

[ Laughing ] Like,
with all our clothes on.

And it was hot.

Are you in a healthyrelationship?

Up until now, I haven't had
the greatest taste in men.

I guess I just thought
I couldn't do any better,

but now I'm thinking
maybe I deserve a good guy.

You do.

We both do.
What?

I've been in the marketfor a style icon,

someone to help me
juugemy look,

and, voilà, enter Colin.

He Chunneled his wayright into my closet.

Don't tell him,but I've been quietly collecting

inspirationfrom his spring look.

Hey, Angie. Will.

Ohh, nice jacket.

[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.Is it the same one?!

What are the odds?

Well, pretty good,

considering
you asked me where I got it

and then for the link

and then you made me write

the URL longhand
on your arm.
I did.

Oh, uh, uh,
Angie, Will.

You've met my ex-wife,
Priscilla.
Hi.

Hey.
Ah, how lovely.

You two
are blazer buddies.

[ Laughs ]

Stop it!

Thank you very much.

Okay.
On that weird note,

uh, let's head out.

[ Chuckles ]
Ahh.

Burberry, 100% wool.Burberry, 100% wool.

Burberry, 100% wool.
Burberry, 100% wool.

Ugh! It's tough
to be with him in public.

Things have been messy
since the divorce.

Oh, well, you can't betoo hard on yourself.

I'm divorced myself.

I know how complicatedit can get.

So, you're still screwing
your ex-wife, too?

Well, this is my day now.

--Captions by VITAC--

Burberry, 100% wool.

Poppy, is there something
you want to tell me?

Miggy!Did you open my mail?

Not the point.
These are all baby books.

[ Gasps ]
Are you pregnant?!

Is it Douglas'?

Oh, God,
it's not Douglas'.

Will's?!

Ooh,
Douglas gonna be mad.

Okay, calm down.
I'm not pregnant.

But something happenedwhen I saw Sharon giving birth.

I think I want to
have another baby.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow,
wow, wow.

Are you sure?
Have you thought about this?

'Cause these things can be
a real pain in the ass.

Ass.And they're always
listening.

[ Chuckles ]

Look, I thoughtI was done after Rory.

But then it hit me.

You know, I have a chance to dothis over again with Douglas,

someone who I
actually trust.

And I thinkwe'd make a great team.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow,
wow, wow.

Have you told Douglas yet?

No, and I can't evenfocus on moving in with him

until I get this
off my chest.

So, I'm gonna tell himtonight at dinner.

Well, how do you think
that's gonna go?

'Cause I know two things
about Douglas.

Yeah?
He tall and he rich.

Yeah.

What's that have to do
with anything?

Oh, I forgot.
There's a third thing.

Uh, he don't like kids.

Okay, look, Douglashas changed since westarted dating, alright?

[ Chuckles ]
You know, last week,

I saw him laughing
at something...
Yeah.

...and I was like,
"What you laughing at?"

And he was like [Guffaws]"Uh, something from 'Zootopia.'"

[ Laughs ] That's not his laugh,but he did love "Zootopia."

That is his laugh.

Man, [sighs] another baby.

I don't know if I could
do it again, Poppy.

Ass!

Damn it!
Damn it.

I gotta stop saying words.[ Laughs ]

So, that's how I racked up
seven years of late fees

from one copy
of "Shakespeare in Love."

That'sthousands of dollars.

Yeah, well, hey, if Blockbuster
wants it back so bad,

they can
come and get it.

Oh, wait. No.
They can't. They gone.

Angie,
you are exquisite.

[ Geese honking ]

Uh, right.Should we, uh, head back then?

[ Honking continues ]

Hey.

Colin, are you afraid
of those geese?

What?! No!
Don't be silly.

It -- There's just
so many of them

with their feathersand their black-tar eyes

and their giant,pulsing gymnast breasts.

They're harmless,
believe me.

Will and I come here
all the time to feed them.

Ah, yes. Will.

He won't seem
to leave us alone.

Every time I turn around, boop!He's there.

That's just Will
being Will.

Yeah, he's like
a salesperson

who can't wait to get you
a fitting room started.

Right. Quick question --Is he obsessed with me?

Because the vibe I'm gettingis less salesperson

and more guy who's gonnamurder me on a row boat

and then pretend to be me.

He's just inspired
by your style.

Trust me.
He is not obsessed with you.

Fine.

Deny it if you want,

but we need
some alone time.

I've read aboutthis quaint B&B in Camarillo.

We could go tonight.

Oh.

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

Son of a bitch.

What?

Angie, is Colin with you?
I need to talk to him.

It's very important. You know,
it's not a good time.

We're going out of town.

He's taking me to a bed
and breakfast in Camarillo.

Bye!
Angie!

[ Goose honks, screeches ]

Away, beast!

♪♪

Before we order,

I just -- I want to
say something.

We're about to tell the kidsthat we're moving in together,

and once we do that,there's no going back.

Oh, agreed.

On the highway
of our relationship,

this dinner is the
"Last Gas for 250 miles" sign.

Yeah, exactly.
[ Laughs ]

So, you know,before we take that next step,

I just think we should talkabout how we see our future.

Well, Douglas,would you be open to --

I-I-I-I'm sorry, my love.
Just a second.

Uh, Hidalgo, good man?

How are you?
Nice to see you.

Why is it so crowded?

Dr. Fogerty, the minimums.

Oh, good God.

Members have to spend
a certain minimum

on food and drink
each month.

If I don't spend it tonight,
I lose it.

Uh, Hidalgo,
how short am I?

Shut your beautiful mouth!

Okay, Hidalgo,
uh, uh, uh, 12 lobsters. Now!

Okay, Douglas, can we justforget the minimums?

We need to talk.

No, we need
reinforcement mouths.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

I got you, fam.
[ Scoffs ]

Yo, Tony.
That was D-Glass.

He said he needsour stomachs at the club.

And he said to wear
your loose pants,

the ones you wear
for parkour?

Wait, you're going?

But there are no grown-ups.

We've never been left
without grown-ups before.

Chill, Soph.

Douglas said the clubis right next door,

and if there are
any problems,

the sauna doubles
as a panic room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My question --

Who are you leaving
in charge?

Just as a reminder,
I am the oldest,

and everyone else here
is garbage.

They are,
but you're a bully,

and this is my wayof getting back at you.

[ Snaps fingers ]Graham, you're my guy.

Me?

Mm-hmm.You're putting me
in charge?

But I'm a born beta.

No, you're not.
Do what I say.

You got it, chief.

Alright!Jack, let's get outta here.

[ Grunts ]

Tony, I think those are
Poppy's pants, but they work.

Let's eat.

♪♪

[ Door opens ]Graham: Okay.

[ Chair scrapes ]

I say we get in our jam-jams,
brush our teeth,

and greet our old friend sleep
with open arms.

We're not doing that.

But Miggy
put me in charge.

[ Mockingly ]"But Miggy put me in charge."

[ Normal voice ]You sound like that.

That's whatyou sound like to us.

[ Smacks table ]Alright, people, listen up.

This is the night
that we've been waiting for.

No parents, no babysitters.

We finally get to break...
the Big Rule.

Behold, my babies.

Xanadu.

Douglas' room. The roomwe're never allowed in.

With the bed
we're never allowed on.

See those sheets?

They have never seen crumbs
in their lives.

That ends tonight.

As leader, I would like
you all to behave --

Our lives start now!

[ All screaming ]Stop! No!

No!

I can't let Angie get deeper
in this relationship

if Colin's cheating.

But what if Priscilla's lying?

I -- [Sighs] I just wish
I could talk to Colin

and get to the bottom of it.

Salesperson: Sir, please.
I work on commission.

For the cowl neck, do you want
the medium or the large?

I'm not gonna get it.

But you're right.
I am obsessing.

I'll just talk to Colin
when they get back.

Hi, Angie.I really need to talk to Colin.

What's he wearing?

No, don't tell me.Let it be a surprise.

Okay, give me a hint.

You know what?

I have been trying to paint youas my non-crazy friend

who isn't gonna
wear Colin's skin,

but you're making itreally hard.

I wouldn't have driven
to three different B&Bs

looking for you
if it wasn't important.

Do you know how many catsI've met with the name "Mister"?

Or how many cups of Earl Grey
tea I've had to drink?

I'm shaking!

Damn it.
I was a minute ago.

Okay, are you lonely?Is this my fault?

Should I besetting you up with people?

Well, if you've been
sitting on people, yeah,

but in the meantime,
I need to talk to Colin.

Is everything alr-- Ohh.

It's for you.

[ Claps hands ]
Good luck.

[ Sighs ]

[ Door closes ]

That's a great robe.

You can have it.

Just don't hurt me.
I have a son.

Look, I don't want to
put anything in Angie's
head if it isn't true,

so just give me an honest
answer, and I will go.

Your ex-wife told me
you're still sleeping together.

Are you?

She's lying!

I would never hurt Angie.

Priscillais obsessed with me.Mm.

If anyone should get that,it's you.

Yeah. Being on TV
every third Thursday,

I have my own fair share
of stalkers.

Well, just one.
Makes parole in July.

That seemed a lot farther away
last year.

I'm talking about you,Will!

You'reobsessed with me!

No, I'm not!

That is not why I'm here.

Oh.

Is it Angie?

Of course.

You're obsessed
with Angie.

What? Angie?

Angie D'Amato?

Brown hair, yea high,
has a face?

You did drive two hours

to break upher romantic evening.

I am just looking out
for her, okay?

She deserves to be happy.

She's basically
the best person I know.

[ Sighs ]
Are you two fart clowns done?

Yes.

We're done
with our business.

I'll go check out.

You got a room?

The innkeep
wouldn't let me up here

unless I got one.

"Innkeep"?

He is a very strange man.[ Sighs ]

You keep saying that
like I'm arguing with you.

♪♪

[ Door closes ]Alright, game faces on.

Big-ticket items only.

The Lover's Steak,
Clams Delpatrico.

Uh, h-here you go --

Open-faced Komodo Dragon
Party Hoagie.

Serves six.

This is the zone we need
to be in, people, alright?

Anyone in
for the Stingray Caviar?

Ah, there we go!

[ Laughing ]
Tony came to play!

And what will we
be drinking?

None for me.
I have dance in the morning.

Alright. Thanks for coming,
Miggy. Huge help.

Alright, the rest of us
are just gonna have to dig in.

Uh, Hidalgo,

we're gonna start
with the, uh,

sampler of the wagyu long bones,please, for the table.

Apologies, Dr. Fogerty.

One of the customers
just ordered

the last of
the dry-aged steaks.Who?

It's Mr. Dan Marino's
party, sir.

[ Grunts ]
Marino. That snake!

Hey, I thoughtyou loved Dan Marino.

He ruined "Shape of Water"
for me. Unforgivable.

[ Scoffs ] "Shape of Water"
ruined "Shape of Water."[ Chuckles ]

Don't, Miggy.

Don't.
My bad.

Well, there goes
the big-ticket items,

which means we're gonna have to
patch this together

with burgers
and thick soups.

Hey. Hey, girl.Douglas: Tony, what do you
think about the...

Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey.

Yeah.
Hey, girl.

What?!
Oh, hey.

Did you tell Douglas
that you wanted a baby?

Okay, I tried,

but he's not gonna focuson this

until he meets
that damn minimum.

Maybe tonight's
not the night.

No, no, no,
it has to be, okay?

Tomorrow,
the move-in train leaves,

and you have to know
if you got a baby on board.

Okay, so, it seems likeI have no choice

but to stuff Douglaswith club food so I canget him back to talking.

Here goes.
Okay.

Hey, babe,
I have an idea.

All these suckers are orderingthe expensive apps and entrées.

Why don't we
flip the script?

Eat upside-down.

No.
Okay.

Why don't we orderthe expensive desserts

now while they're available

and then move on
to whatever's left?

You genius.

I'm dating the smartest
woman in the world.

It's me.

Uh, Hidalgo,

uh,
let's get a large tray

of the Top Shelf Tiramisu
with the Porcelana Cocoa.

[ Chuckles ]

Happy Earth Day,
Dan Marino.

[ Up-tempo hip-hop music plays ]

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

You people are animals.

Ritz crackers?!

A man sleeps here!

Have some respect.

Sophie, this mattresshas memory foam.

It's going
to remember you!

Someone pass me
a dark soda.

I'm gonna make it rain
in this piece!

If we get caught,I'm the one who's going down.

I'm the leader!

What are you gonna do?
Hug us to death?

[ Sophie laughing ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

[ Speaking Italian ]

Okay, and just when
I write you off,

you find another way
to dazzle me?

Move, people!

Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go!

-Ohh!
-Whoo!
-Aah!

[ TV chatter ]

[ Remote clicks, TV shuts off ]

Ah! Innkeep.

Please, just call me Josh.

Innkeep Josh.
No.

I am not going to need
my room tonight. [ Chuckles ]

I'm sorry, we don'toffer refunds.Let me get your bill.

I'm obligated to ask youto sign this guestbook

and enjoy
this Earl Grey tea.

[ Cat purring ]

Fine.

But I'm gonna clink
the spoon around the cup

all loud-like.

[ Spoon clinking ]

Oh, my God.[ Clinking stops, cup thuds ]

Will you read this to me?

I've drank too much tea.

I think I'm starting
to see things.

"Colin and PriscillaManning."

Stayed here last week.

He lied to me.

Worse than that,
he lied to Angie!

Sir, I'm going to have toask you to keep it down.

People are tryingto cheat on people here.

♪♪

Okay,
we are on a roll.

I got us a bottle of Port,
and I sent two over

to Dan Marino's table --

one for him and one for the
Super Bowl ring he never got.

Tony,
give us the honors.

[ Blows ]

-There it is!
-Wow!

[ Laughs ]

Oh, I'm sorry, guys.

Uh, Little Jack
made a boom-boom.

I'm gonna go change him.Terrific.

Uh, Tony, assist?

Remember those days?
Diapers? Boom-booms?

Oh, I do.

In fact,I was just thinking that --

Oh, that poor bastard.

The sleepless nights,

the 15 bags you need
to go anywhere,

the crumbs in the car.

My God, all the crumbs.

Ah, thankfully,
it's all behind us.

Well, yeah,but Little Jack's so cute.

Don't you ever miss it?

Nope.
Done it twice now.

Worked out the kinks
with Xander,

and then I knocked it
out of the park

with Amy and the bonus one.

So I'm good.

But what's better
than raising kids?

Lots of things.

Besides, I don't want to be
putting kids through school

when I'm 70.

Imagine the toll
that'll take on Tony.

You and I
can live the dream,

doing what we want
when we want.

Total freedom.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait, wait, wait.
What the hell is this?

Hidalgo: Mr. Marino
sends his compliments.

Uh, Hidalgo,
you put those ribs down,

and I'm gonna write you
out of the will.

Poppy,
could you believe it?

Poppy?

What, I...

D--

Marino.

Wait, so, Will came all the waydown here just to ask

if you've ever eatenat a Sonic?

Maybe he is crazy.

Should I call his mom?

Can we please just stop
talking about Will?

I don't want to see that man
for the rest of my life.

Where is he?!

[ Door slams open ]God!

You know,
you are making it

impossible to defend you,
dude.
You.

You looked me in the eyeand promised not to hurt her!

What is going on?

Colin is still sleepingwith his ex-wife.

What?

"Colin and Priscilla,"

"Colin and Priscilla,"

"Colin and Prissy."

[ Cockney accent ] Wassat?A bad nickname from uni?

Let me see this.

Were you here
last weekend with her?

Listen, Angie --[ Normal voice ] And also,how dare you try to

get in my headabout defending my friend.

I would have driven
to San Diego to...

Not that far just 'cause trafficwould have been murder,

but still, I refuse to feel badfor standing up for her.

Will. I got this.

Colin.

I thought things
were good between us.

Like, freakishly good.

We took walks.

I kicked a goose
in the face for you.

I'm sorry, but come on,

you must have known
that this was a rebound thing.

Oh.

♪♪

Well, it was more
than that for me.

♪♪

I think you should go.

Yeah, fine.

Let me grab my trousers.

They're called pants here.

And you don't
deserve them.

[ Sighs ]

Now...

Please be a 34 waist.

[ Whispering ] Yes!

Hey, guys.
How was your night?

Shh! He doesn't like it
when we're loud.

Who?

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Graham?

Five minutes.

I asked for
five damn minutes!

Oh, Poppy.
It's just you.

Is everything okay?
Did I miss --

You know what?
I don't want to know.

It has already been
a day.

[ Scoffs ]
Tell me about it.

Want a hit?

I'll pass.

My stomach's still coming to
terms with tonight.

In fact, all of me is still
coming to terms with tonight.

I get you, baby girl.

Life's funny.
Yeah.

Just when you think
you got it all figured out,

it up and changes on you.

And then what are you
supposed to do?

Just accept it?
Let go of the things you want?

What if you can't?

We have a sayingin the bottom of the boot --

"Be true to yourself.

Everythingwill work out fine."

Yeah, but what if being
true to yourself means

losing something
that you love?

I can give you the tools,Poppy,

but I can't build
the house for you.

[ Ice rattling ]

Uh, just to confirm,
that is apple juice, right?

Mm-hmm.

You know, I'm just madat myself, honestly. [ Scoffs ]

For a second there,
I actually thought

it might work out
with me and Colin,

but I forgot.

I only attract dirtbags.

Or there's just a lot
of terrible guys out there,

and you've had more
than your fair share.

[ Sighs ] I haven't evenbeen honest with you

about how manyhave stolen my identity.

Like, a bunch.

It's not you.

You're...amazing.

And someday,

you're gonna find
a nice guy

who will treat you right.

Or you just become
a horse lady.

Like, just get into horses.

[ Laughs ]

What was the thingthat Colin was gettingin your head about?

He was just doing anything
to put me off the scent,

like launching
wild conspiracy theories.

Like what?

He thought
that this was, like,

about me being into you,
or...

O-Oh.
Yeah.

Yeah.
Yeah.

[ Scoffs ]
He's crazy.
I know.

[ Scoffs ]

[ Slurps ]

This wine is so bad.

It's really bad.
[ Sighs ]

Hey, thank youfor sticking up for me.

You're a really good friend,

even if you wouldn't driveto San Diego for me.

I would not.

Between the zoo and convention
traffic -- [ Scoffs ]

Even in the carpool lane?No chance!

♪♪

I would for you.

♪♪

You know,maybe I'm tipsy right now,

but I really want
to hurt Colin,

like, make his bloodbe outside him.

Drinking terrible winecharged to his credit card

really isn't doing itfor me.

Well, in that case,
I have an idea.
Dude...

if it's us stealing
all his clothes,

we are not doing that.

Fine, smart guy.
You come up with something.

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

Oh!
Thank God you're here.

I've been looking
everywhere for you.

I was freaking out.
I shook Hidalgo.

Douglas --Look, I get why you left.

And I'm sorry.

I-I know we were
just starting to get things

off of our chest
before the big move,

but I just got all distracted
and caught up in all the food.

[ Chuckles ] Hey, do you know
when the check came,

we were within 10 cents
of the minimum?

Anyway, I wasn't trying
to avoid the conversation.

I botched the dinner.

But think,

we have an unlimited amount
of dinners ahead of us,

and I promise you
that I will be giving you

my undivided attention
during all of them.

Douglas, there aren'tgonna be any more dinners.

What? Why?

[ Voice breaking ] BecauseI think we should break up.

♪♪

Poppy.

[ Up-tempo rock music plays ]

♪♪

[ Music stops ]

[ Music resumes ]

♪♪

Uh, about everything,

I hope that
our schoolyard interactions

going forward
won't be uncomfortable.

Yeah, you know what? I thoughtabout it, and we were casual.

You know, it's cool.Water under the bridge.

Yeah, and, uh, thanks
for the fashion tips, Colin,

but I think I'm gonna
forge my own path.

Well, good for you.
[ Chuckles ]

Angie, I'll, um,
see you around.

Ta-ta.

Oh, Colin, drive safely.

♪♪

[ Car alarm disengages ]

[ Music stops ]

No.

[ Goose honking ]

You winged bastard.

Nooooooooo!

[ Honking continues ]

How does your neck
twist like that?!

Oh, come on!

Come on!

Aaah! Aaaaah!