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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:04,029 [Man] So, from all the stories you've collected 2 00:00:04,062 --> 00:00:06,365 For your book, would you say that, 3 00:00:06,398 --> 00:00:10,035 In general, sex after kids is terrible? 4 00:00:11,403 --> 00:00:12,404 Yes! 5 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,776 In fact, the jury is still out as to whether or not 6 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,078 Kids are good for marriages. 7 00:00:20,111 --> 00:00:21,347 Period. 8 00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:24,015 There's a psychological study that says that 9 00:00:24,049 --> 00:00:27,986 83% of couples suffer some form of moderate 10 00:00:28,019 --> 00:00:31,056 Or severe crisis after kids come into the picture. 11 00:00:33,024 --> 00:00:34,393 [Chuckles] 12 00:00:34,426 --> 00:00:37,162 I would say then, the answer is, 13 00:00:37,195 --> 00:00:39,865 Professionally speaking, of course, 14 00:00:39,898 --> 00:00:42,901 That kids are not good for your sex life. 15 00:00:45,537 --> 00:00:47,339 At all! 16 00:00:47,373 --> 00:00:52,811 ♪♪ 17 00:01:10,161 --> 00:01:13,765 [Woman snoring] 18 00:01:13,799 --> 00:01:18,437 [Baby crying] 19 00:01:27,479 --> 00:01:28,914 Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! 20 00:01:28,947 --> 00:01:29,848 Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! 21 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:30,949 Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! 22 00:01:30,982 --> 00:01:34,286 Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! 23 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:37,155 [Camera shutters clicking] 24 00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,545 [Sighs] 25 00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,352 [Sighs] 26 00:02:08,286 --> 00:02:10,121 - Hey. - Hey. 27 00:02:10,155 --> 00:02:11,256 Finally get her to sleep? 28 00:02:11,289 --> 00:02:13,158 Mm. Down like a clown, Charlie Brown. 29 00:02:13,191 --> 00:02:14,159 Excellent 30 00:02:14,192 --> 00:02:15,994 - Mmm. - I'll drink to that. 31 00:02:18,029 --> 00:02:19,698 What's all this? 32 00:02:19,731 --> 00:02:21,533 Well, I thought it would be nice for a change. 33 00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:22,968 Pretend we're adults, right? 34 00:02:24,836 --> 00:02:27,038 Are you trying to seduce me? 35 00:02:27,072 --> 00:02:29,274 And you got some tomato sauce on your chin, too... 36 00:02:29,307 --> 00:02:30,275 - actually. - Oh. 37 00:02:31,543 --> 00:02:35,246 Babe, I'm covered in spit up and I'm exhausted. 38 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,817 Can we try, maybe tomorrow or later this week? 39 00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:40,185 Yeah, sure. 40 00:02:41,319 --> 00:02:42,388 That'd be fine, sure. 41 00:02:42,421 --> 00:02:43,455 [Clears throat] 42 00:02:46,858 --> 00:02:47,993 [Sighs] 43 00:02:48,026 --> 00:02:49,227 You're mad. 44 00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:51,262 No, I'm not mad. Why would I be mad? 45 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,731 Because it's been a while. 46 00:02:52,764 --> 00:02:54,900 It hasn't been a while, it's been a year. 47 00:02:54,933 --> 00:02:56,735 It has not been a year. 48 00:02:56,768 --> 00:02:59,337 Right, then it's been 359 days. 49 00:02:59,371 --> 00:03:01,440 And eleven hours. 50 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,808 - No. - Yeah. 51 00:03:04,242 --> 00:03:05,844 Yeah. 52 00:03:05,877 --> 00:03:07,579 - Really? - Mhmm. 53 00:03:07,613 --> 00:03:11,149 [Both sigh] 54 00:03:11,182 --> 00:03:13,519 Okay, all right. Let's go. 55 00:03:13,552 --> 00:03:14,553 Where? 56 00:03:14,586 --> 00:03:16,788 We're gonna have sex right now. 57 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,090 - Are you serious? - Yep. Let's go. 58 00:03:20,526 --> 00:03:22,060 Okay. 59 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,735 Oh, yeah. 60 00:03:29,768 --> 00:03:31,136 - That's nice. - Yeah, yeah. 61 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,037 That's good, you good? 62 00:03:32,070 --> 00:03:33,071 Oh, yeah. 63 00:03:33,104 --> 00:03:34,339 Mm-Kay. 64 00:03:34,372 --> 00:03:36,642 So do you want, want me to start now, or...? 65 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:37,776 Start? 66 00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:40,646 What the hell have you been doing? 67 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,147 I don't know, gaining entry? 68 00:03:43,582 --> 00:03:44,916 Oh! 69 00:03:46,652 --> 00:03:47,886 Okay, okay. No no no. No. 70 00:03:47,919 --> 00:03:49,755 Stop. Okay, we're done. This counts. 71 00:03:49,788 --> 00:03:50,822 - What? - Yep. 72 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,591 Counts? As what? That was two strokes. 73 00:03:52,624 --> 00:03:54,626 Come on, give a fella a fighting chance here. 74 00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:56,061 Okay. 75 00:03:56,094 --> 00:03:58,229 Ahh! No, no. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 76 00:03:58,263 --> 00:04:00,566 We're done. I'm sorry, babes. You're killing me. 77 00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:02,200 It feels like I'm having sex with branding iron. 78 00:04:02,233 --> 00:04:03,234 Oh my God. 79 00:04:03,268 --> 00:04:04,903 I'm sorry, ever since the baby it just... 80 00:04:04,936 --> 00:04:05,971 Oh, okay, okay. 81 00:04:06,004 --> 00:04:07,272 Okay, we don't have to do this now. 82 00:04:07,305 --> 00:04:08,474 - Okay. Okay. - It's fine, okay? 83 00:04:08,507 --> 00:04:09,040 [Gasps] 84 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,075 - Just... - What? 85 00:04:10,108 --> 00:04:11,977 Can you just stop. Just don't move. At all. 86 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,011 - At all? - At all. 87 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,045 Don't move? 88 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,615 [Exhales slowly] Yes. 89 00:04:16,648 --> 00:04:18,016 Does losing my erection count as moving? 90 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,485 Yes. So don't. 91 00:04:20,952 --> 00:04:26,224 [Breathing slowly] 92 00:04:26,257 --> 00:04:28,059 Babes, when was the last time you trimmed your nose hair? 93 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,896 Can we keep this remotely sexy, please? 94 00:04:30,929 --> 00:04:33,098 I'm, I'm here trying to please you. 95 00:04:33,131 --> 00:04:35,701 Right? I'm trying to pleasure you. 96 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,168 Aw, you want to pleasure me? 97 00:04:37,202 --> 00:04:38,203 Yeah. 98 00:04:39,204 --> 00:04:41,172 Will you let me sleep in tomorrow? 99 00:04:42,674 --> 00:04:45,043 Sure, okay. Just... 100 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,712 - [Screams] - Okay, sorry! 101 00:04:48,013 --> 00:04:49,681 Hello gorgeous. 102 00:04:49,715 --> 00:04:50,949 [Clicks tongue] 103 00:04:50,982 --> 00:04:52,584 Vanessa? 104 00:04:52,618 --> 00:04:55,020 [TV host] And in the first time in well over a year, 105 00:04:55,053 --> 00:04:57,823 Vanessa Thomas is expected to make an appearance 106 00:04:57,856 --> 00:05:01,459 Tonight at the annual Humanitarian Awards. 107 00:05:01,493 --> 00:05:03,829 Tune in tomorrow morning to see what she wore 108 00:05:03,862 --> 00:05:05,597 Down the red carpet. 109 00:05:05,631 --> 00:05:06,665 [Baby crying, shushing] 110 00:05:06,698 --> 00:05:09,134 Hun? What are we going to do if we run into... 111 00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:11,002 [Baby crying] 112 00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:12,538 What are you doing? 113 00:05:12,571 --> 00:05:13,939 The limo's going to be here in half an hour. 114 00:05:13,972 --> 00:05:15,206 No. Its more than I need. 115 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,342 Here. Take. 116 00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:18,744 Hey oops. 117 00:05:20,178 --> 00:05:21,847 Whoa. He's burning up. 118 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,517 He's just a little hot, Sean. The sitter will take care of it. 119 00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:27,152 You look like hell too. 120 00:05:27,185 --> 00:05:30,055 Well of course I look like hell. Let me put my face on. 121 00:05:30,088 --> 00:05:32,991 Oh, hon hon hon. He got you sick! 122 00:05:33,024 --> 00:05:34,626 No. We're going out, Sean. 123 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:35,894 We're going out and I'm gonna have 124 00:05:35,927 --> 00:05:37,062 The time of my Li... 125 00:05:37,095 --> 00:05:39,197 [Gagging] 126 00:05:41,032 --> 00:05:42,568 Did you just throw up in your mouth? 127 00:05:42,601 --> 00:05:46,104 [Baby crying] 128 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,372 [Vanessa throwing up] 129 00:05:47,405 --> 00:05:49,140 Hon, I'm calling the sitter. 130 00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,442 No! You're being honored. 131 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,045 Yeah but... I'll just go. 132 00:05:54,079 --> 00:05:55,581 No! We'll both go. 133 00:05:55,614 --> 00:05:57,515 No, come on, hon, he, obviously he needs you. 134 00:05:57,549 --> 00:05:58,617 Not some stranger. 135 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,019 No no, but Sean, I bought, I bought a dress. 136 00:06:01,052 --> 00:06:02,020 And shoes. 137 00:06:02,053 --> 00:06:04,723 Hon. Be honest, you don't do heels anymore. 138 00:06:04,756 --> 00:06:05,691 Hey, you watch it. 139 00:06:05,724 --> 00:06:07,659 [Stutters] I can still rock a pump. 140 00:06:07,693 --> 00:06:09,160 I know. For fifteen minutes. 141 00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:11,196 Yeah, but no... 142 00:06:11,229 --> 00:06:13,364 But those are a fierce ass fifteen minutes. 143 00:06:13,398 --> 00:06:14,199 Watch me go! 144 00:06:14,232 --> 00:06:15,834 I am calling the sitter. 145 00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:17,402 Sean... 146 00:06:17,435 --> 00:06:18,737 You suck, Sean! 147 00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:20,806 [Baby whimpering] 148 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,307 Right back at you. 149 00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:31,049 And if you need us, you call us. 150 00:06:31,082 --> 00:06:32,884 And, and if it's an emergency 151 00:06:32,918 --> 00:06:34,419 You call Gage or Larissa. 152 00:06:34,452 --> 00:06:35,687 And take cabs. 153 00:06:35,721 --> 00:06:38,790 Public transit is filthy and the streets are full of vagrants. 154 00:06:38,824 --> 00:06:39,457 Okay, Mom- 155 00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:40,525 Do you need any money? 156 00:06:40,558 --> 00:06:42,861 Mom. I have a job and you know that... Okay. 157 00:06:42,894 --> 00:06:44,996 Dad, can you help me out a little bit here please. 158 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,231 You're going to be just fine, kiddo. 159 00:06:46,264 --> 00:06:47,966 Mwah. Mmm. 160 00:06:47,999 --> 00:06:50,135 Now. Give 'em hell. 161 00:06:51,336 --> 00:06:53,605 You guys are gonna be bored out of your minds 162 00:06:53,639 --> 00:06:54,640 Without me around here. 163 00:06:54,673 --> 00:06:57,508 Oh, we'll all be just fine, won't we, hon? 164 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,910 Of course we will. 165 00:06:58,944 --> 00:07:01,146 Your Dad and I know how to entertain ourselves. 166 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:03,514 Mhmm. 167 00:07:20,632 --> 00:07:25,637 [Crickets chirping] 168 00:07:25,671 --> 00:07:26,805 [Sighs] 169 00:07:26,838 --> 00:07:29,107 Let's start with the yellow this time. 170 00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:31,677 The yellow pieces. Get me all the yellow pieces. 171 00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:32,878 [Sighs] 172 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:37,683 Thank you. 173 00:07:37,716 --> 00:07:40,118 [Fireplace crackling] 174 00:07:40,151 --> 00:07:42,320 [Yawns] 175 00:07:44,790 --> 00:07:46,257 [Clears throat] I'm tired. 176 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,460 I'm gonna go to bed. 177 00:07:49,494 --> 00:07:50,628 Oh. 178 00:07:50,662 --> 00:07:51,763 Yeah. 179 00:07:52,397 --> 00:07:54,065 Sure. Yeah. 180 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,633 Oh. 181 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,106 [Porn music plays] 182 00:08:01,139 --> 00:08:03,441 [Woman moaning] 183 00:08:03,474 --> 00:08:07,345 Oh my g... oh my god, faster, faster, yeah! 184 00:08:07,378 --> 00:08:08,680 Right there. Right there! 185 00:08:08,714 --> 00:08:10,148 Get it! Get it! 186 00:08:10,181 --> 00:08:11,516 Horton? 187 00:08:11,549 --> 00:08:12,884 What's wrong? 188 00:08:18,156 --> 00:08:19,791 Would you care for some... 189 00:08:20,826 --> 00:08:22,193 Sex? 190 00:08:23,361 --> 00:08:26,164 [Laughs] 191 00:08:26,197 --> 00:08:27,665 [Clears throat] 192 00:08:27,699 --> 00:08:29,868 God, you do know how to make me laugh. 193 00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:32,070 [Chuckles] You thought I... Yeah. 194 00:08:33,404 --> 00:08:34,806 Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! 195 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,207 I just... I just don't understand it. 196 00:08:36,241 --> 00:08:37,508 I don't understand how you can sit there 197 00:08:37,542 --> 00:08:40,111 While your child's heart is breaking in the next room. 198 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,546 His heart is not breaking. 199 00:08:41,579 --> 00:08:42,814 He's just pissed off 200 00:08:42,848 --> 00:08:44,215 That we're not rocking him to sleep. 201 00:08:44,249 --> 00:08:46,752 Two nights. That's all the book says it'll take. 202 00:08:46,785 --> 00:08:48,286 It's torture. 203 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,889 We are not torturing him. 204 00:08:50,922 --> 00:08:51,823 Please. 205 00:08:51,857 --> 00:08:56,227 [Yelling continues] Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! 206 00:08:56,261 --> 00:08:57,796 Mommy, I love you! 207 00:08:58,864 --> 00:09:00,465 Hey! No! 208 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,770 [Laughs] 209 00:09:04,803 --> 00:09:06,537 What're you doing? 210 00:09:06,571 --> 00:09:07,839 Ohh. 211 00:09:07,873 --> 00:09:10,308 Foreplay. It'll take your mind off the cries. 212 00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:14,880 If I have sex with you while our son is screaming 213 00:09:14,913 --> 00:09:16,647 In the next room, I'm forever going to associate 214 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,016 Intimacy with pain. 215 00:09:18,049 --> 00:09:20,185 Oh, well that's kind of hot, isn't it? 216 00:09:21,419 --> 00:09:22,754 [Chuckles] 217 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:27,759 [Yelling continues] 218 00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:30,328 Pussy! 219 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,662 [Baby crying] 220 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,598 Shh. 221 00:09:33,631 --> 00:09:34,966 Oi! 222 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,534 Let's make a deal, alright? 223 00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,970 You go to sleep straight away 224 00:09:39,004 --> 00:09:40,806 And your first fake ID is on Uncle Peyton. 225 00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:42,173 [Clicks tongue] All right? 226 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,910 [Baby continues to cry] 227 00:09:44,943 --> 00:09:47,312 You gonna be alright with her? 228 00:09:47,345 --> 00:09:48,914 Yeah, sure. What can go wrong? 229 00:09:48,947 --> 00:09:51,149 Everything can go wrong, Pey. 230 00:09:51,182 --> 00:09:54,652 Every night I high five myself just for keepin' her alive. 231 00:09:54,685 --> 00:09:57,155 Listen, I have TeleHealth on speed dial. 232 00:09:57,188 --> 00:09:59,757 If you call though you've got to ask for Marcy, 233 00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:02,560 She's nice and sort of knows me a bit now. 234 00:10:02,593 --> 00:10:05,330 So, everybody else just sort of threatens to call 235 00:10:05,363 --> 00:10:07,565 Social services on you. 236 00:10:07,598 --> 00:10:10,468 Are you goin' out dressed like that? 237 00:10:10,501 --> 00:10:12,003 Yeah. Why? 238 00:10:12,037 --> 00:10:14,405 Oh, depends. You want to get laid? 239 00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,774 I don't know. I mean yeah, I suppose. 240 00:10:16,808 --> 00:10:18,309 I just wanna go out and meet somebody nice, 241 00:10:18,343 --> 00:10:19,845 You know, who might like me. 242 00:10:19,878 --> 00:10:20,979 Sort of test the waters a bit. 243 00:10:21,012 --> 00:10:22,047 You're a single mom, you don't got 244 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,849 Time to be fucking about. 245 00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:26,484 Go out there and have some fun. 246 00:10:26,517 --> 00:10:27,919 Do you mean like dodgeball? 247 00:10:27,953 --> 00:10:30,788 I mean like gettin' fucking laid. 248 00:10:30,822 --> 00:10:34,592 Okay, well I mean, I sup... I suppose I could give it a go. 249 00:10:34,625 --> 00:10:36,962 Have you seen my diaphragm? 250 00:10:36,995 --> 00:10:39,464 'Course I haven't seen your fucking diaphragm. 251 00:10:39,497 --> 00:10:41,066 Besides you're protected. 252 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,767 You know, your tits and whatnot. 253 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,202 Wha-what do you mean? 254 00:10:44,235 --> 00:10:45,837 Oh, I was fuckin' this bird back home 255 00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:46,972 And she said she couldn't get pregnant 256 00:10:47,005 --> 00:10:48,506 While she was breastfeedin'. 257 00:10:48,539 --> 00:10:50,508 Saved a fortune on condoms. 258 00:10:50,541 --> 00:10:53,311 Are condoms very expensive now? 259 00:10:53,344 --> 00:10:55,213 You're missing the point of the story, love. 260 00:10:55,246 --> 00:10:56,714 Right. Okay. 261 00:10:58,316 --> 00:11:02,020 [Dance music playing on television] 262 00:11:06,057 --> 00:11:08,626 Yeah, so my father took off when I was a baby, 263 00:11:08,659 --> 00:11:11,229 So there's a special place in my heart for people like you. 264 00:11:11,262 --> 00:11:14,299 Nobody ran off on me. I, I, I chose this, you know. 265 00:11:14,332 --> 00:11:14,933 Oh! 266 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,834 Yeah, I knocked myself up. 267 00:11:16,868 --> 00:11:17,368 Yeah. 268 00:11:17,402 --> 00:11:18,603 I mean, well, no. 269 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,305 I mean, I didn't knock myself up. 270 00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:23,074 I went to one of those sperm banks, you know. 271 00:11:23,108 --> 00:11:24,976 Well, spank banks I think you call them. 272 00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:26,677 Well, I mean, I don't know if you do, but... 273 00:11:26,711 --> 00:11:28,379 Anyway, I've always just really wanted a family, 274 00:11:28,413 --> 00:11:31,116 You know, just, I've always just sort of had this hole 275 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,318 Inside of me that kinda needed filling up, 276 00:11:33,351 --> 00:11:35,120 So I just, I thought maybe a baby 277 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,121 Could do that, you know. 278 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,422 Yeah, yeah, yeah! No, it's so true, they... 279 00:11:37,455 --> 00:11:39,190 I mean it's not, you know, it's been different 280 00:11:39,224 --> 00:11:41,359 Than I expected, so... 281 00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:43,694 I mean don't get me wrong, I love the baby to bits, 282 00:11:43,728 --> 00:11:45,663 I really do, you know, but... 283 00:11:45,696 --> 00:11:49,200 God, I mean they poop a lot, don't they? 284 00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:52,070 And they suck. It's all a lot of sucking. 285 00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:53,871 I mean, it's already eatin' me out of house and home 286 00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:55,706 And it's only me boobs. 287 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:58,043 So you know, here I am. 288 00:11:58,076 --> 00:11:59,744 Just kind of out and about. 289 00:11:59,777 --> 00:12:01,546 - Looking for love. - Yeah, yeah... 290 00:12:01,579 --> 00:12:02,880 No! No, God, no. 291 00:12:02,914 --> 00:12:05,250 I'm not... no love for me just, uh, just casual. 292 00:12:05,283 --> 00:12:07,185 You know, just gettin' out. 293 00:12:07,218 --> 00:12:08,786 Yeah, I mean, God, who in their right mind's 294 00:12:08,819 --> 00:12:10,088 Looking for a single mom? 295 00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:13,424 You know, I mean maybe a pedophile, I suppose. 296 00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:15,226 Not that you're a pedophile. Are you? 297 00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:16,627 No! 298 00:12:16,661 --> 00:12:17,628 So you know... 299 00:12:17,662 --> 00:12:19,064 I mean, my brother put it best, you know, 300 00:12:19,097 --> 00:12:20,531 He put it like: 301 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,633 The hole I need fillin' up is probably 302 00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:24,135 Not an emotional one. 303 00:12:24,169 --> 00:12:26,571 You know, it's a... a different hole... 304 00:12:26,604 --> 00:12:27,772 Your brother told you this? 305 00:12:27,805 --> 00:12:30,108 Yeah. Yeah. 306 00:12:30,141 --> 00:12:33,478 And, good news is, we don't need a condom. 307 00:12:33,511 --> 00:12:35,213 Because of me tits. 308 00:12:35,246 --> 00:12:38,816 So. We just, ah, we just do it... 309 00:12:41,686 --> 00:12:42,887 [Nervous giggle] 310 00:12:50,328 --> 00:12:51,963 - God! - Oh! 311 00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:55,433 Oh, fuck! Oh! 312 00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:56,767 - Oh, god! - Shh. 313 00:12:56,801 --> 00:12:58,169 You're gonna, you're gonna wake her, you're gonna wake her. 314 00:12:58,203 --> 00:13:01,572 Oh, God, it's so fucking hot that you're a Dad. 315 00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:02,940 - Oh! - Thanks. 316 00:13:02,974 --> 00:13:05,676 Oh, god. Oh, fuck. 317 00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,012 Oh, fuck. Turn me over. 318 00:13:07,045 --> 00:13:10,315 Yeah. Oh God. 319 00:13:10,348 --> 00:13:12,483 [Whispers] Oh, fuck. 320 00:13:13,318 --> 00:13:14,685 Oh, god. 321 00:13:15,353 --> 00:13:16,887 Oh. 322 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,123 Oh, God. 323 00:13:18,156 --> 00:13:19,190 Pull my hair. 324 00:13:19,224 --> 00:13:20,125 Pull my hair. 325 00:13:20,158 --> 00:13:21,726 Oh, god yeah! 326 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,461 Oh, punish me, daddy. 327 00:13:23,494 --> 00:13:24,362 Oh, fuck. 328 00:13:24,395 --> 00:13:25,296 Smack my ass. 329 00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:26,031 - Smack your ass? - Yeah! 330 00:13:26,064 --> 00:13:27,032 Oh, punish me. 331 00:13:27,065 --> 00:13:29,167 Oh, punish me, daddy. 332 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,468 Fuck me, daddy! 333 00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:31,602 Oh, punish me. 334 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,838 I love the way you fuck me, daddy! 335 00:13:33,871 --> 00:13:34,972 - Oh! - Okay, okay. 336 00:13:35,006 --> 00:13:36,541 I can't do this. I'm out. I'm out. 337 00:13:36,574 --> 00:13:39,444 [Baby crying] 338 00:13:39,477 --> 00:13:42,513 Oh, please will you just give Uncle Peyton a break. Look... 339 00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:45,350 I could smother you and you wouldn't even know it. 340 00:13:45,383 --> 00:13:46,684 I didn't mean that. 341 00:13:46,717 --> 00:13:48,319 I love you, honestly, to pieces, 342 00:13:48,353 --> 00:13:51,856 But will you please just shut the fuck up! 343 00:13:51,889 --> 00:13:54,159 Pey? You all right? 344 00:13:54,192 --> 00:13:56,461 [Baby crying] 345 00:13:56,494 --> 00:13:57,828 How do I turn her off? 346 00:13:59,264 --> 00:14:02,500 You mean they're not supposed to scream bloody murder all the time? 347 00:14:04,435 --> 00:14:05,936 [Sighs] 348 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:07,972 Are you sure this is 349 00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:09,907 How you're supposed to put her to sleep? 350 00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:12,477 It's not so bad, you know, once you get used to it like. 351 00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:15,080 I don't know whether I could ever put up with that. 352 00:14:15,113 --> 00:14:16,847 It makes me want to eat glass. 353 00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:18,483 You know what Lou, 354 00:14:18,516 --> 00:14:21,286 I don't know if I'm gonna be able to stay here. 355 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,353 Well, what are you going to do? 356 00:14:22,387 --> 00:14:23,521 You going to go buy a house 357 00:14:23,554 --> 00:14:25,490 With all your inheritance money you pissed away? 358 00:14:25,523 --> 00:14:28,326 Hey, there's no need to be a bitch about it, all right. 359 00:14:28,359 --> 00:14:31,862 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Pey, I didn't mean that. 360 00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,231 Stay. 361 00:14:33,264 --> 00:14:34,432 Be my nanny. 362 00:14:34,465 --> 00:14:36,000 - Fuck off. - No, come on. 363 00:14:36,033 --> 00:14:37,435 It's free room and board. 364 00:14:37,468 --> 00:14:40,004 No seriously, fuck off, I'm just passing through. 365 00:14:40,037 --> 00:14:41,839 I've got plans. 366 00:14:41,872 --> 00:14:44,242 Besides, what d'you need a Nanny for anyway? 367 00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:48,346 Well, it's harder than I thought it was gonna be... 368 00:14:48,379 --> 00:14:50,081 You know, doin' it on my own... 369 00:14:50,115 --> 00:14:52,783 [Silence] 370 00:14:52,817 --> 00:14:53,984 Hey! 371 00:14:54,552 --> 00:14:55,786 Hey, she stopped crying. 372 00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:58,923 See, it's not so hard. 373 00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:01,592 Why are you back so early anyway? 374 00:15:01,626 --> 00:15:02,860 I don't know. 375 00:15:02,893 --> 00:15:04,195 Couldn't close the deal, eh? 376 00:15:04,229 --> 00:15:05,530 You see, you were searching 377 00:15:05,563 --> 00:15:07,198 For the wrong type of man. 378 00:15:07,232 --> 00:15:10,135 What you need is a sexual deviant, you know? 379 00:15:10,168 --> 00:15:12,570 Someone who'll smash your back doors in 380 00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:14,772 And walk away without a second thought. 381 00:15:16,141 --> 00:15:17,708 You know, maybe you're right. 382 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:18,943 Maybe I should just give up 383 00:15:18,976 --> 00:15:20,611 On all this love and fulfillment lark. 384 00:15:20,645 --> 00:15:23,314 I mean, it's never done me any favors, has it? 385 00:15:23,348 --> 00:15:24,615 Just been a slew of endless 386 00:15:24,649 --> 00:15:27,051 Disappointment and rejection. 387 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,086 Right. 388 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,388 That's it. 389 00:15:30,421 --> 00:15:33,891 No more love for me. Only lust for this trollop. 390 00:15:33,924 --> 00:15:35,160 Right? Yeah? 391 00:15:35,193 --> 00:15:36,727 I'm gonna get out there and I'm gonna get someone 392 00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:38,163 To really give it to me. 393 00:15:38,196 --> 00:15:39,697 You know, someone, someone who'll say, 394 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:40,665 "Who's your Daddy" 395 00:15:40,698 --> 00:15:42,567 And really smash in my side door... 396 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,735 - Your back door... - My back door! 397 00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:45,770 Yeah. 398 00:15:48,873 --> 00:15:50,475 How do I find a social deviant? 399 00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:51,609 What, what do I do? 400 00:15:51,642 --> 00:15:54,579 Well you know, basically you gotta clearly indicate 401 00:15:54,612 --> 00:15:56,247 What you will and you won't do, all right? 402 00:15:56,281 --> 00:15:58,849 Um... dirty Sanchez. Strawberry sundae. 403 00:15:58,883 --> 00:15:59,850 That sort of thing. 404 00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:01,986 Okay, well Strawberry Sundae sounds all right. 405 00:16:02,019 --> 00:16:03,354 How's that work? 406 00:16:03,388 --> 00:16:05,623 Well, it's when you release your demons 407 00:16:05,656 --> 00:16:08,459 Into the lady's face, and you know, when she can't see, 408 00:16:08,493 --> 00:16:11,095 You smash her one in the nose. 409 00:16:11,128 --> 00:16:12,830 Strawberry Sundae. 410 00:16:12,863 --> 00:16:14,765 That's awful. 411 00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:18,403 Who would do such a thing to another human being? 412 00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:22,973 Oh, Peyton! Don't do that to someone! 413 00:16:23,007 --> 00:16:24,442 She asked me too... 414 00:16:24,475 --> 00:16:26,644 Oh. Well. I suppose if she asked. 415 00:16:26,677 --> 00:16:27,812 Yeah. 416 00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,117 How old is he? 417 00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:34,485 Two and a half. 418 00:16:34,519 --> 00:16:35,653 Aw. 419 00:16:37,488 --> 00:16:39,457 So, do you mind if I ask how you two met? 420 00:16:39,490 --> 00:16:41,125 - Online. - A bookstore. 421 00:16:41,158 --> 00:16:42,693 We, we actually met online 422 00:16:42,727 --> 00:16:45,062 But it embarrasses her to say that, so... 423 00:16:45,095 --> 00:16:47,465 No, no! That's amazing. 424 00:16:47,498 --> 00:16:50,801 I just always assumed that online dating was for losers. 425 00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:52,637 No, you're not losers! 426 00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:55,973 [Stammering] I loved it. I order everything online, so. 427 00:16:56,006 --> 00:16:57,475 Order, seriously? 428 00:16:57,508 --> 00:16:58,843 Really? 429 00:16:58,876 --> 00:17:01,979 So which one of you gave birth, then? 430 00:17:02,012 --> 00:17:04,849 Excuse me? Which one of you is the real mom? 431 00:17:04,882 --> 00:17:06,016 Oh, uh... 432 00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:07,385 We both are. 433 00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:11,055 Maybe one of us carried him in her womb, you know. 434 00:17:11,088 --> 00:17:13,358 Maybe... maybe we both adopted him. 435 00:17:13,391 --> 00:17:14,592 Maybe one of us... 436 00:17:14,625 --> 00:17:16,494 Donated an egg and the other one carried it. 437 00:17:16,527 --> 00:17:18,996 Doesn't really matter, we're both raising the child 438 00:17:19,029 --> 00:17:20,431 And we're committed to his well-being 439 00:17:20,465 --> 00:17:23,067 Which makes us both real moms. 440 00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,269 Yeah. 441 00:17:24,302 --> 00:17:27,037 I'm sorry. I just... I didn't mean to offend you. 442 00:17:27,071 --> 00:17:28,839 I just don't... 443 00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:31,509 Know the, the protocol for people in your situation. 444 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,712 Our situation? 445 00:17:34,745 --> 00:17:36,614 It's, it's funny cause it's not actually a situation, 446 00:17:36,647 --> 00:17:38,816 We are... we're lesbians. 447 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,385 It's our family. 448 00:17:40,418 --> 00:17:41,952 Are you retarded? 449 00:17:41,986 --> 00:17:43,053 No... 450 00:17:43,087 --> 00:17:44,522 We should go to the park more often. 451 00:17:44,555 --> 00:17:45,423 Who the fuck still talks like... 452 00:17:45,456 --> 00:17:46,691 Hey hey, language. 453 00:17:46,724 --> 00:17:48,526 Who the fiddlesticks still talks like that? 454 00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:51,128 "People in your situation." Say lesbian! 455 00:17:51,161 --> 00:17:53,130 Hell, say dyke, for all I care. 456 00:17:54,265 --> 00:17:55,400 You know it's over, right babe? 457 00:17:55,433 --> 00:17:57,134 I know. 458 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:05,443 Maybe it's not such a terrible question, though. I mean... 459 00:18:07,978 --> 00:18:09,380 Maybe one of us should be more Mom 460 00:18:09,414 --> 00:18:11,616 And then the other more Dad. 461 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:16,153 And if so, I call Mom. 462 00:18:16,186 --> 00:18:18,823 Why, so you can have the monopoly on being cute? 463 00:18:18,856 --> 00:18:20,157 I like pink. 464 00:18:20,190 --> 00:18:22,627 No. Look. One of our strengths as a couple 465 00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:26,297 Is how different we are. Maybe, um... 466 00:18:26,331 --> 00:18:28,666 Maybe we should embrace that. 467 00:18:28,699 --> 00:18:30,901 Give him a little bit more structure. 468 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,437 You sound like a pamphlet. 469 00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:33,838 Cunt. 470 00:18:33,871 --> 00:18:35,039 Language! 471 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:37,174 Oh, no, that's not a swear, it's an actual body part... 472 00:18:37,207 --> 00:18:38,776 [Laughs] 473 00:18:38,809 --> 00:18:40,345 Okay, it's a swear, 474 00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:43,814 But you were being a bit of a cunt. 475 00:18:43,848 --> 00:18:44,849 Ah! Hey, hey, hey! 476 00:18:44,882 --> 00:18:48,486 We are gentle with people and things. 477 00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:49,487 We are... 478 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,956 [Together] Gentle with people and things. 479 00:18:51,989 --> 00:18:54,224 Except when we're being a cunt. 480 00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:59,096 ♪ The wipers on the bus go, swish, swish, swish, 481 00:18:59,129 --> 00:19:02,266 ♪ all through the town. 482 00:19:02,299 --> 00:19:05,636 ♪ The people on the bus go Hi, Hi, Annie 483 00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:07,071 - Honey. - Hey, honey! 484 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,138 You're home early. 485 00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:10,675 Yeah! Uh, where's the baby? 486 00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:11,976 Oh, she's upstairs napping. 487 00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:13,511 So you were just singing that to yourself? 488 00:19:16,146 --> 00:19:17,882 It got stuck in my head? 489 00:19:17,915 --> 00:19:19,717 Okay, let's go with that. Um... 490 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:20,818 I've got a little surprise for you. 491 00:19:20,851 --> 00:19:21,786 Oh! 492 00:19:21,819 --> 00:19:22,953 I like surprises. 493 00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:24,221 Okay, just a second... 494 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,090 Come on in. 495 00:19:30,861 --> 00:19:32,497 Nice to meet you. 496 00:19:35,265 --> 00:19:38,068 So to summarize, the issue is that when Jules 497 00:19:38,102 --> 00:19:40,070 Is in the mood, 498 00:19:40,104 --> 00:19:42,740 It's always during the day when Ben is at work, 499 00:19:42,773 --> 00:19:46,310 And when Ben comes home, you are simply exhausted. 500 00:19:46,343 --> 00:19:47,612 Exactly. Yep. 501 00:19:48,579 --> 00:19:49,580 What about the weekends? 502 00:19:49,614 --> 00:19:51,215 Oh no, That's... that's when stuff's getting done 503 00:19:51,248 --> 00:19:52,483 - around the house. - Yes. No... 504 00:19:52,517 --> 00:19:54,485 - We have to do laundry... - Lot of things, yeah... 505 00:19:54,519 --> 00:19:56,086 - And shopping. And laundry. - Right. 506 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:57,154 There's a lot of laundry. 507 00:19:57,187 --> 00:19:58,656 Yeah. It's not uncommon. 508 00:20:00,425 --> 00:20:04,895 But what most couples don't realize is that, on average, 509 00:20:04,929 --> 00:20:08,766 Seven to twenty minutes is all it takes to have sex. 510 00:20:08,799 --> 00:20:11,035 Less time than laundry. 511 00:20:11,068 --> 00:20:13,838 I'm sorry, are you criticizing the way that I do laundry? 512 00:20:13,871 --> 00:20:15,239 - Ooh. - Because, um... 513 00:20:15,272 --> 00:20:17,642 - I pre-soak my cloth diapers - Yeah. 514 00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:18,843 - So... - It's pretty important. 515 00:20:18,876 --> 00:20:20,811 - Presoaking is kinda crucial. - Yeah, it takes a long... 516 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:21,679 - The stains will cake right in - longer but... 517 00:20:21,712 --> 00:20:23,113 - And I think... - It's an investment. 518 00:20:23,147 --> 00:20:25,215 I think he gets it. No one's saying it's a bad idea. 519 00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:26,250 [Overlapping dialogue] 520 00:20:26,283 --> 00:20:27,785 No, no, no. I'm saying, 521 00:20:27,818 --> 00:20:30,555 I'm saying that I just want both of you to be aware 522 00:20:30,588 --> 00:20:34,992 Of each other's investment, 523 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,594 You know? 524 00:20:36,627 --> 00:20:38,128 I mean be Ben is... 525 00:20:38,162 --> 00:20:40,531 Clearly, sexually... 526 00:20:40,565 --> 00:20:43,834 Frustrated, aren't you Ben? 527 00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:46,471 It's be... it's been a year. 528 00:20:46,504 --> 00:20:47,805 No. No! 529 00:20:47,838 --> 00:20:48,806 The other night... 530 00:20:48,839 --> 00:20:49,807 - Oh, that thing, you do not, - We had sex. 531 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,808 You do not get to count that. 532 00:20:50,841 --> 00:20:51,909 - I'm sorry. - Oh, I count it. 533 00:20:51,942 --> 00:20:53,544 - Nope. - It counts. 534 00:20:53,578 --> 00:20:54,945 - A year. - Yeah. 535 00:20:54,979 --> 00:20:56,681 And your baby's six months old. 536 00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:57,782 Right. 537 00:20:57,815 --> 00:21:00,818 Well, my gynecologist said that it couldn't hurt 538 00:21:00,851 --> 00:21:03,253 To abstain from sex during pregnancy. 539 00:21:03,287 --> 00:21:04,822 What did your dentist say? 540 00:21:04,855 --> 00:21:06,256 Okay... 541 00:21:06,290 --> 00:21:07,792 What did your proctologist say? 542 00:21:07,825 --> 00:21:09,393 - Oh, he says you're gross. - Okay. 543 00:21:09,426 --> 00:21:12,162 He comes... he comes up with a good question. 544 00:21:12,196 --> 00:21:14,832 There's a difference between 545 00:21:14,865 --> 00:21:16,734 Abstaining from vaginal sex 546 00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:19,970 And sexual contact all together. 547 00:21:20,004 --> 00:21:21,338 Now... 548 00:21:22,807 --> 00:21:24,975 Let me ask you... 549 00:21:25,009 --> 00:21:27,177 Do you have a reason... 550 00:21:27,211 --> 00:21:30,681 For avoiding fellating your husband? 551 00:21:34,451 --> 00:21:35,553 Mother's don't fellate. 552 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:36,954 - Yes, they do. - No they don't. 553 00:21:36,987 --> 00:21:38,956 What? There's a, there's a whole genre of porn... 554 00:21:38,989 --> 00:21:40,424 - devoted to that very idea. - Ohh... 555 00:21:40,457 --> 00:21:43,894 Now, I... I'm gon... I'm going to suggest something here 556 00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:46,330 That I suggest to all my clients. 557 00:21:46,363 --> 00:21:48,465 For one hundred days 558 00:21:48,499 --> 00:21:50,768 I want you to have sex every day. 559 00:21:50,801 --> 00:21:52,336 I haven't done that since college. 560 00:21:52,369 --> 00:21:53,538 When... 561 00:21:53,571 --> 00:21:55,506 Did you do that in college? We were together in college. 562 00:21:55,540 --> 00:21:57,041 Not the whole time. 563 00:21:57,908 --> 00:21:59,009 Um. 564 00:21:59,043 --> 00:22:00,444 When we... 565 00:22:00,477 --> 00:22:03,914 Have sex and I have this... burning sensation. 566 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:06,116 It just, it doesn't go away. 567 00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:08,318 Oh, there's a pamphlet for that... 568 00:22:08,352 --> 00:22:12,590 I want you to, to treat this hundred days like exercise. 569 00:22:13,858 --> 00:22:16,460 It doesn't sound like a great idea at the time, 570 00:22:16,493 --> 00:22:18,629 And we always make excuses for not doing it, 571 00:22:18,663 --> 00:22:20,497 But once you start - 572 00:22:20,531 --> 00:22:21,699 It's good. 573 00:22:21,732 --> 00:22:25,135 And when you really get into it - it's pleasant, really. 574 00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:26,637 Pleasant. 575 00:22:26,671 --> 00:22:27,672 What do you say, honey? 576 00:22:27,705 --> 00:22:29,239 You want get into something... 577 00:22:29,273 --> 00:22:31,175 Pleasant with me? 578 00:22:31,208 --> 00:22:32,342 - Sure. - Yeah? 579 00:22:32,376 --> 00:22:33,343 Yeah. 580 00:22:33,377 --> 00:22:34,545 We'll still do the laundry though, right? 581 00:22:34,579 --> 00:22:35,546 Yes, we'll still do the laundry. 582 00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:37,014 Okay, good. I just put a fresh load in. 583 00:22:37,047 --> 00:22:39,349 Yeah, well, I would like to put a fresh load in 584 00:22:39,383 --> 00:22:41,218 Myself, from time to time. 585 00:22:41,251 --> 00:22:42,286 Okay... 586 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,054 She served it up, Doc. It's a... 587 00:22:44,088 --> 00:22:45,656 But you don't have to bring it- 588 00:22:45,690 --> 00:22:46,657 Put a "fresh load" in. 589 00:22:46,691 --> 00:22:48,358 [Stammering] Did you want another cup... 590 00:22:48,392 --> 00:22:49,727 [Together] Coffee? 591 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:50,728 No. Thank you. 592 00:22:50,761 --> 00:22:51,562 - Okay. - Okay. 593 00:22:53,097 --> 00:22:54,131 Oh... 594 00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:57,001 He's so cute! How do you stand it? 595 00:22:57,034 --> 00:23:00,037 Oh, the incessant screaming helps balance it out nicely. 596 00:23:00,070 --> 00:23:01,371 [Straining] 597 00:23:01,405 --> 00:23:03,207 There's my little Oopsie. 598 00:23:04,642 --> 00:23:05,943 I've been meaning to ask you... 599 00:23:05,976 --> 00:23:07,745 Why do you call him "Oopsie"? 600 00:23:07,778 --> 00:23:10,881 Oh, it's just Sean's nickname for him. 601 00:23:10,915 --> 00:23:13,684 You were a big surprise, weren't you, baby? 602 00:23:13,718 --> 00:23:16,053 I've missed seeing you on television. 603 00:23:16,086 --> 00:23:18,388 Oh! Thank you for saying that! 604 00:23:18,422 --> 00:23:20,490 You know, Horton and I were both very surprised 605 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,126 That you didn't go back to the show 606 00:23:22,159 --> 00:23:24,194 After your maternity leave. 607 00:23:24,228 --> 00:23:25,529 It was the baby weight, right? 608 00:23:25,562 --> 00:23:27,431 Oh god, no. I've lost all the baby weight. 609 00:23:27,464 --> 00:23:30,134 Oh. Of course you have. 610 00:23:33,303 --> 00:23:37,775 No, I, ah, I just decided that it was just important 611 00:23:37,808 --> 00:23:39,710 To stay home to raise this little guy. 612 00:23:39,744 --> 00:23:41,378 And Sean makes more than enough for both of us, 613 00:23:41,411 --> 00:23:44,048 So just, why bother with all of the drama, you know? 614 00:23:44,081 --> 00:23:45,115 So... 615 00:23:45,149 --> 00:23:48,853 How's being a full-time Mom working out for you? 616 00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:52,156 Well, uh, I um... 617 00:23:52,189 --> 00:23:53,858 I've lost my mind, 618 00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:54,825 Is what's happened. 619 00:23:54,859 --> 00:23:55,993 [Nervous laughter] 620 00:23:56,026 --> 00:23:58,829 I've always thought that, if I was ever going to have 621 00:23:58,863 --> 00:24:03,133 A, just a dirty, nasty little thing, I would... 622 00:24:03,167 --> 00:24:05,235 Keep it in a closet until I needed it for a charity event 623 00:24:05,269 --> 00:24:08,973 Or something. But! I've gone Full Metal Stepford here. 624 00:24:09,006 --> 00:24:12,810 His birthday party had: a strict formal dress code, 625 00:24:12,843 --> 00:24:17,815 There was 82 handmade gift bags, a $5,000 candy table, 626 00:24:17,848 --> 00:24:18,983 12 different kinds of sandwiches 627 00:24:19,016 --> 00:24:22,319 Including the swordfish canapé, which was lovely. 628 00:24:22,352 --> 00:24:23,954 Looks like you covered everything. 629 00:24:23,988 --> 00:24:25,355 Yeah, no yeah yeah. 630 00:24:25,389 --> 00:24:26,356 [Baby babbling] 631 00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:28,959 Everything, except, uh, other kids. 632 00:24:28,993 --> 00:24:30,861 You forgot to invite other children? 633 00:24:32,296 --> 00:24:34,464 We don't know any other children. 634 00:24:34,498 --> 00:24:36,667 Oh. I see. 635 00:24:36,701 --> 00:24:40,905 So, uh, how are things here with the empty nest? 636 00:24:40,938 --> 00:24:42,639 Must be like a second honeymoon around here. 637 00:24:42,673 --> 00:24:43,874 Oh... 638 00:24:46,010 --> 00:24:48,278 Well, we're not all as young and sexy 639 00:24:48,312 --> 00:24:49,780 As you are, you know. 640 00:24:50,815 --> 00:24:54,318 I just... I don't find her attractive anymore. 641 00:24:54,351 --> 00:24:57,287 I think I traded in low cuts and long legs for... 642 00:24:57,321 --> 00:24:59,523 Sweat pants and breast milk stains. 643 00:24:59,556 --> 00:25:03,160 That'll all go away. You guys are still having sex, right? 644 00:25:03,193 --> 00:25:06,096 [Laughs] 645 00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:09,333 Don't get me started. She's insatiable. It's ridiculous. 646 00:25:09,366 --> 00:25:11,535 You should get some real problems. 647 00:25:11,568 --> 00:25:14,071 Do you know when the last time I even saw Dolores naked was? 648 00:25:14,104 --> 00:25:15,539 I had hair. 649 00:25:15,572 --> 00:25:18,042 I don't even know what we are anymore. 650 00:25:18,075 --> 00:25:20,010 Friends, I suppose... 651 00:25:20,044 --> 00:25:23,380 Well, c'mon, seriously, you're still young, you know. 652 00:25:23,413 --> 00:25:24,782 And you had a good run at it. 653 00:25:24,815 --> 00:25:27,217 You brought up three amazing kids. 654 00:25:27,251 --> 00:25:29,319 There's no, there's no shame in calling it a day 655 00:25:29,353 --> 00:25:31,088 If the passion's gone. 656 00:25:31,121 --> 00:25:33,824 Sean. She is the mother of my children. 657 00:25:33,858 --> 00:25:36,026 Yeah. But they're gone. 658 00:25:36,994 --> 00:25:38,228 Right? 659 00:25:42,199 --> 00:25:44,568 So your penis is still actually in this girl when you decide 660 00:25:44,601 --> 00:25:46,103 That you never want to see her again? 661 00:25:46,136 --> 00:25:47,905 She called me "Daddy". 662 00:25:47,938 --> 00:25:49,373 - Ooh. - [Laughs] 663 00:25:49,406 --> 00:25:52,409 Okay, so um, couldn't you just say: 664 00:25:52,442 --> 00:25:54,211 "Please don't call me Daddy"? 665 00:25:54,244 --> 00:25:55,345 I mean, that's what adults do, right? 666 00:25:55,379 --> 00:25:57,681 They communicate. They just don't pull out. 667 00:25:57,714 --> 00:25:58,749 It's true, actually. 668 00:25:58,783 --> 00:26:01,886 Larissa never has a problem telling me exactly, 669 00:26:01,919 --> 00:26:04,121 Specifically what it is that I'm doing wrong. 670 00:26:04,154 --> 00:26:05,689 I believe you. 671 00:26:05,722 --> 00:26:09,760 Well, okay, that's because I want to be in a relationship. 672 00:26:09,794 --> 00:26:11,128 Gage is just looking to have a good time. 673 00:26:11,161 --> 00:26:12,196 That is... 674 00:26:12,229 --> 00:26:13,430 [Crashing] 675 00:26:13,463 --> 00:26:14,631 Ephraim? 676 00:26:16,767 --> 00:26:17,935 He's okay. Look. 677 00:26:17,968 --> 00:26:19,569 What are you trying to say about me, huh? 678 00:26:21,671 --> 00:26:23,440 Okay, um. 679 00:26:23,473 --> 00:26:24,809 You... 680 00:26:24,842 --> 00:26:27,144 Knowingly choose imperfect women 681 00:26:27,177 --> 00:26:29,579 So that you can use it as an excuse to get rid of them 682 00:26:29,613 --> 00:26:31,415 When you get bored. 683 00:26:31,448 --> 00:26:33,250 That's really shitty, Larissa. 684 00:26:33,283 --> 00:26:35,052 Oh, it is without a doubt shitty. 685 00:26:35,085 --> 00:26:36,787 I don't do that. 686 00:26:36,821 --> 00:26:38,923 Why did you break up with that, uh, teacher? 687 00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:42,759 She had to go to bed too early. 688 00:26:42,793 --> 00:26:44,128 The waitress? 689 00:26:45,930 --> 00:26:47,697 She stayed up way too late. 690 00:26:50,434 --> 00:26:52,169 So wait, you're saying that I'm the problem? 691 00:26:52,202 --> 00:26:53,237 Look. 692 00:26:53,270 --> 00:26:54,271 He's having a moment. 693 00:26:54,304 --> 00:26:55,739 Awwwww! 694 00:26:55,772 --> 00:26:58,108 Oh, come on honey, 695 00:26:58,142 --> 00:26:59,109 Prove us wrong. 696 00:26:59,143 --> 00:27:02,279 Find yourself a nice, normal woman 697 00:27:02,312 --> 00:27:04,114 And give her an actual shot. 698 00:27:04,148 --> 00:27:07,284 Yeah, and where does one find a "nice normal" woman? 699 00:27:07,317 --> 00:27:08,352 [Together] Mom Group. 700 00:27:10,220 --> 00:27:11,788 Lots of ladies. 701 00:27:11,822 --> 00:27:14,424 Big... milk- 702 00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:15,392 [Laughing] 703 00:27:15,425 --> 00:27:15,926 Full breasts. 704 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,294 [Metallic scraping] 705 00:27:17,327 --> 00:27:18,295 Wow. 706 00:27:18,328 --> 00:27:19,796 [Cell phone vibrating] 707 00:27:19,830 --> 00:27:21,131 Ahh. 708 00:27:22,933 --> 00:27:23,767 It's eight o'clock. 709 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,002 Yeah. Yes it is. 710 00:27:25,035 --> 00:27:26,236 Yeah. 711 00:27:26,270 --> 00:27:27,972 Uh, do you want to do this in the bedroom? 712 00:27:28,005 --> 00:27:29,039 Yeah, it's probably most comfortable. 713 00:27:29,073 --> 00:27:30,007 Okay. 714 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,208 Yeah, just have to brush my teeth first. 715 00:27:31,241 --> 00:27:31,942 Really? 716 00:27:31,976 --> 00:27:32,910 Yeah, I mean, well... 717 00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:34,311 We're probably gonna kiss and stuff, right? 718 00:27:34,344 --> 00:27:35,312 Right. Right, yeah. 719 00:27:35,345 --> 00:27:36,513 - Yeah. - Okay. 720 00:27:36,546 --> 00:27:39,850 Okay, um... Oh, did you want shirt on or off? Were you... 721 00:27:39,884 --> 00:27:42,086 Like, were you, are you gonna fondle my nipples... 722 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,554 I didn't really have any nipple plans, per say. 723 00:27:44,588 --> 00:27:46,190 Right. It turns you on, though, right? 724 00:27:46,223 --> 00:27:48,758 Well, yeah, but I thought turned you on too. 725 00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:50,594 You could light my nipples on fire right now 726 00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:52,396 And I would not feel it. 727 00:27:53,263 --> 00:27:54,231 [Clears throat] 728 00:27:54,264 --> 00:27:55,232 Mmmm. 729 00:27:55,699 --> 00:27:56,333 Yeah? 730 00:27:56,366 --> 00:27:58,202 - That's good. - Good. 731 00:27:58,235 --> 00:28:00,370 You're so... 732 00:28:00,404 --> 00:28:01,838 You're so beautiful. 733 00:28:01,872 --> 00:28:03,673 Thanks. 734 00:28:03,707 --> 00:28:05,575 [Breathing heavily] 735 00:28:05,609 --> 00:28:06,843 Yeah. 736 00:28:06,877 --> 00:28:10,147 It's... it's kind of like you're trying to put out a small fire. 737 00:28:10,180 --> 00:28:11,748 Yeah? Cause it's hot? 738 00:28:11,781 --> 00:28:13,817 No, it's just cause you're, you're punching me now. 739 00:28:13,850 --> 00:28:15,185 You're just punching me right in the dick. 740 00:28:15,219 --> 00:28:17,154 - Oh, I'm sorry! - Yeah. 741 00:28:17,187 --> 00:28:18,655 - Just - It's okay. 742 00:28:18,688 --> 00:28:20,524 Why is it sometimes you're so rock hard 743 00:28:20,557 --> 00:28:23,827 And then other days you're like an old woman's breast. 744 00:28:23,860 --> 00:28:26,763 Okay, your dirty talk needs a lot of work. 745 00:28:26,796 --> 00:28:27,831 Okay, do you want me, 746 00:28:27,864 --> 00:28:29,133 Should I fellate you, or something? 747 00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:31,701 Can you think of a less sexy way to ask me that? 748 00:28:31,735 --> 00:28:32,736 How can I get you get hard? 749 00:28:32,769 --> 00:28:33,938 I don't know. 750 00:28:35,405 --> 00:28:36,673 There's all this pressure now. 751 00:28:36,706 --> 00:28:38,308 I know, right?! 752 00:28:39,543 --> 00:28:41,578 I, I, I can't do all this pre-planning. 753 00:28:41,611 --> 00:28:44,048 I need this to be spontaneous. 754 00:28:44,081 --> 00:28:45,715 Feel like I'm doing chores. 755 00:28:45,749 --> 00:28:47,584 Oh, I need to put the dry... Laundry in the dry... 756 00:28:47,617 --> 00:28:49,519 Can we please not talk about laundry, right now? 757 00:28:49,553 --> 00:28:50,654 Okay, seriously... 758 00:28:50,687 --> 00:28:51,621 Okay. 759 00:28:51,655 --> 00:28:52,889 Look, we have to get through this, all right? 760 00:28:52,923 --> 00:28:53,991 - I know. - Somehow. 761 00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:56,560 A hundred consecutive days. 762 00:28:56,593 --> 00:28:58,395 It's supposed to be fun! 763 00:28:58,428 --> 00:29:00,664 Well, he didn't say when we had to start. 764 00:29:01,831 --> 00:29:03,867 We could start tomorrow. 765 00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:05,235 Yeah, exactly. 766 00:29:06,470 --> 00:29:07,637 Okay. Good talk. 767 00:29:07,671 --> 00:29:08,872 Yeah? 768 00:29:08,905 --> 00:29:09,873 Yeah. Go team. 769 00:29:09,906 --> 00:29:10,907 Mmm. 770 00:29:17,247 --> 00:29:18,215 So are we gonna put the clothes in the dryer? 771 00:29:18,248 --> 00:29:20,450 Yeah, I got it. I got it. Okay. 772 00:29:26,356 --> 00:29:28,092 Hon? 773 00:29:30,927 --> 00:29:32,096 Hon? 774 00:29:33,130 --> 00:29:34,864 How was your day? 775 00:29:52,249 --> 00:29:53,950 Hey Daddy... 776 00:29:53,984 --> 00:29:56,653 Hey... Mama? 777 00:29:56,686 --> 00:29:57,621 Wow. 778 00:29:57,654 --> 00:30:00,357 I finally fit into my lingerie. 779 00:30:00,390 --> 00:30:02,692 Yeah. More or less, yeah. 780 00:30:05,062 --> 00:30:06,696 Is Oops asleep? 781 00:30:06,730 --> 00:30:08,465 He's at, uh, grandma's. 782 00:30:10,867 --> 00:30:13,803 Oof. I, uh, I had a long day. 783 00:30:13,837 --> 00:30:16,706 Great. Let's have a long night. 784 00:30:16,740 --> 00:30:17,674 I just want to grab something. 785 00:30:17,707 --> 00:30:19,343 I'm a little peckish. 786 00:30:19,376 --> 00:30:23,413 I've got something for you to snack on right here. 787 00:30:23,447 --> 00:30:24,781 Yeah... 788 00:30:24,814 --> 00:30:27,317 Um, no, I was, I was... 789 00:30:27,351 --> 00:30:28,852 Something with protein, that's what I was thinking... 790 00:30:28,885 --> 00:30:31,355 Sean. Listen, my, uh... 791 00:30:31,388 --> 00:30:34,324 My ego is holding on by a thread, here okay? 792 00:30:34,358 --> 00:30:37,594 I have had enough of bitches in the park, 793 00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:39,129 That's where the real bitches are, okay? 794 00:30:39,163 --> 00:30:41,798 Talking about how to get their kids to go to sleep 795 00:30:41,831 --> 00:30:43,167 And what kind of apple sauce to eat, 796 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,970 And, and preservatives and... You know, I don't give a shit. 797 00:30:47,003 --> 00:30:48,238 I just... 798 00:30:48,272 --> 00:30:50,107 Want to feel like an woman. 799 00:30:55,345 --> 00:30:56,680 Alrighty then. 800 00:30:56,713 --> 00:30:57,914 [Clears throat] 801 00:30:59,083 --> 00:31:01,118 [Moaning] 802 00:31:02,686 --> 00:31:03,687 What? 803 00:31:04,254 --> 00:31:05,589 Nothing, honey. 804 00:31:10,026 --> 00:31:11,561 Did you let the cat in here? 805 00:31:11,595 --> 00:31:13,097 No. Why? 806 00:31:13,130 --> 00:31:15,899 Really? It smells like rancid urine. 807 00:31:15,932 --> 00:31:18,668 I don't, I don't smell anything. 808 00:31:18,702 --> 00:31:20,570 I'm not crazy. 809 00:31:20,604 --> 00:31:21,671 It must have permeated the cover, 810 00:31:21,705 --> 00:31:22,972 We'll have to burn it. 811 00:31:28,612 --> 00:31:29,946 What? 812 00:31:29,979 --> 00:31:31,548 It's you! 813 00:31:31,581 --> 00:31:34,718 Did you get sprayed by a skunk, or something? 814 00:31:34,751 --> 00:31:36,486 It's hormonal! 815 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,156 What?! How come I've never noticed that before? 816 00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:40,757 Because I put a ridiculous amount of effort 817 00:31:40,790 --> 00:31:42,892 Into not perspiring around you. 818 00:31:42,926 --> 00:31:47,364 [Moaning] 819 00:31:47,397 --> 00:31:49,966 [Nasal] That feels great. That's really good. 820 00:31:55,272 --> 00:31:56,673 That feels great. 821 00:31:57,741 --> 00:32:00,377 No no no. Don't touch my kangaroo pouch. 822 00:32:03,413 --> 00:32:08,585 [Strained moaning] 823 00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:14,658 No, I need a time-out. 824 00:32:14,691 --> 00:32:15,692 - The smell. - Don't you dare. 825 00:32:15,725 --> 00:32:17,294 - I'm so goddamn close. - Just a minute. 826 00:32:18,495 --> 00:32:19,896 I can't stand the smell, I'm going to be sick... 827 00:32:19,929 --> 00:32:22,098 No, c'mon! Just seven more thrusts. Man up! 828 00:32:23,633 --> 00:32:24,801 - Come on. - I'm on fire. 829 00:32:24,834 --> 00:32:25,869 Hurry up! 830 00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:26,836 - Four... three... - I'm gonna be sick! 831 00:32:26,870 --> 00:32:28,572 - Nyah! - No, I'm gonna be sick. 832 00:32:28,605 --> 00:32:32,742 Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! 833 00:32:32,776 --> 00:32:34,944 Ohh! 834 00:32:38,782 --> 00:32:40,784 That was amazing. 835 00:32:44,854 --> 00:32:46,790 How long do you think before you can go again? 836 00:32:46,823 --> 00:32:48,925 [Retching] 837 00:32:48,958 --> 00:32:50,794 [Cat meowing] 838 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,316 I think we need to have a talk. 839 00:33:13,550 --> 00:33:14,951 Sure. 840 00:33:14,984 --> 00:33:17,754 Can you, do you remember that bright yellow piece... 841 00:33:17,787 --> 00:33:19,022 - that we had... - Dolores. 842 00:33:19,989 --> 00:33:21,558 Oh, it's serious. 843 00:33:22,592 --> 00:33:24,194 Well... 844 00:33:24,228 --> 00:33:26,630 The other night I asked you if you wanted to have, 845 00:33:26,663 --> 00:33:27,497 You know. 846 00:33:27,531 --> 00:33:30,166 And um, you laughed in my face. 847 00:33:32,269 --> 00:33:33,737 Well... 848 00:33:33,770 --> 00:33:35,639 I thought you were joking, honey. 849 00:33:35,672 --> 00:33:37,841 Why would I joke about that? 850 00:33:37,874 --> 00:33:39,042 Because we never have sex... 851 00:33:39,075 --> 00:33:40,410 Exactly. 852 00:33:45,014 --> 00:33:46,483 Are you unhappy, Horton? 853 00:33:46,516 --> 00:33:48,051 Um... 854 00:33:48,084 --> 00:33:50,854 [Stammers] I think so. 855 00:33:50,887 --> 00:33:51,888 You know, I, I have needs. 856 00:33:51,921 --> 00:33:53,757 And I have to make sure those needs are met. 857 00:33:53,790 --> 00:33:57,827 So if you've decided that you don't like having sex... 858 00:33:57,861 --> 00:33:59,195 I love sex! 859 00:33:59,229 --> 00:34:00,964 Then why aren't we having it? 860 00:34:02,399 --> 00:34:03,967 Okay. 861 00:34:04,934 --> 00:34:07,237 To be frank, it's... 862 00:34:08,905 --> 00:34:10,707 It got a little boring. 863 00:34:10,740 --> 00:34:13,142 The same thing over and over and over again, 864 00:34:13,176 --> 00:34:15,912 I mean, you, you, you had no focus. 865 00:34:15,945 --> 00:34:18,515 There was no attention to what I needed. 866 00:34:18,548 --> 00:34:20,984 A woman needs... 867 00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,486 Certain things... 868 00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:24,888 Done to her, to build... 869 00:34:24,921 --> 00:34:29,192 Up to, slowly build up to a climax. 870 00:34:29,225 --> 00:34:31,395 You mean you've never had an orgasm? 871 00:34:33,630 --> 00:34:35,131 No, I have orgasms all the time, 872 00:34:35,164 --> 00:34:37,534 I just never have them with you. 873 00:34:37,567 --> 00:34:40,203 Not even when I touched your "spot"? 874 00:34:40,236 --> 00:34:41,871 Oh, honey... 875 00:34:41,905 --> 00:34:46,576 Where "the spot" is and, and where you thought it was... 876 00:34:46,610 --> 00:34:48,778 Worlds apart. 877 00:34:48,812 --> 00:34:50,547 Well how the hell was I suppose to know?! 878 00:34:50,580 --> 00:34:52,716 It's not like it comes with GPS. 879 00:34:52,749 --> 00:34:55,419 You could have asked. 880 00:34:56,286 --> 00:34:57,287 Okay. 881 00:34:58,622 --> 00:35:00,256 Well... 882 00:35:00,290 --> 00:35:02,359 Now I'm asking. 883 00:35:07,297 --> 00:35:08,765 Okay. 884 00:35:09,265 --> 00:35:10,734 Om. Om nom nom. 885 00:35:10,767 --> 00:35:11,835 You got your peaches here too. 886 00:35:11,868 --> 00:35:13,470 Okay? Let's get Dada some breakfast. 887 00:35:22,679 --> 00:35:23,813 Is that good? 888 00:35:26,616 --> 00:35:28,618 - Morning Dada. - Good morning. 889 00:35:28,652 --> 00:35:30,820 What would you like for breakfast? 890 00:35:30,854 --> 00:35:31,921 Oh... 891 00:35:31,955 --> 00:35:33,323 [Kisses] Mmm 892 00:35:33,357 --> 00:35:34,358 Morning. 893 00:35:34,391 --> 00:35:35,625 [Kissing] 894 00:35:35,659 --> 00:35:36,860 Mmm. 895 00:35:39,295 --> 00:35:40,897 What're you doing? 896 00:35:40,930 --> 00:35:43,266 Welcome to Day One, baby. 897 00:35:43,299 --> 00:35:44,968 Ahh... 898 00:35:45,001 --> 00:35:46,436 Oh, she's right there. 899 00:35:46,470 --> 00:35:48,037 I turned her around, she's fine. 900 00:35:49,373 --> 00:35:50,374 [Sighs] 901 00:35:50,407 --> 00:35:51,408 You know, she's going to hear us, though. 902 00:35:51,441 --> 00:35:53,109 You know, kids can't make memories 903 00:35:53,142 --> 00:35:56,780 'Til they're about two. I'll keep the moaning to a minimum. 904 00:35:56,813 --> 00:35:59,649 No, I'm sorry, I can't. It's just, it's too weird. 905 00:36:01,385 --> 00:36:02,552 Right. Sure. 906 00:36:02,586 --> 00:36:03,753 Can I make you some eggs? 907 00:36:03,787 --> 00:36:06,956 Oh, I'll, I'll get something at, at work. It'll be fine. 908 00:36:06,990 --> 00:36:08,291 I appreciate the sentiment! 909 00:36:08,324 --> 00:36:10,394 Oh, it was a super awesome sentiment. 910 00:36:10,427 --> 00:36:11,795 It was a lovely gesture! 911 00:36:11,828 --> 00:36:13,397 Yeah, like flowers. 912 00:36:13,430 --> 00:36:15,365 [Baby whining] 913 00:36:15,399 --> 00:36:16,533 Shoot... 914 00:36:23,006 --> 00:36:24,741 - Hey. - Hey. 915 00:36:26,776 --> 00:36:28,011 What'd ya bring me? 916 00:36:29,112 --> 00:36:31,347 Chocolate! Thank you. 917 00:36:33,282 --> 00:36:34,784 Where is he? 918 00:36:36,486 --> 00:36:38,455 Come on, you know how I feel about television. 919 00:36:38,488 --> 00:36:40,590 Okay, first of all, that's your thing, not mine. 920 00:36:40,624 --> 00:36:42,559 I don't want my kid be a pop-culture ignoramus. 921 00:36:42,592 --> 00:36:43,993 And I prescreened it, 922 00:36:44,027 --> 00:36:45,328 It's all about sharing and shit. 923 00:36:45,361 --> 00:36:47,030 That's not the point. 924 00:36:47,063 --> 00:36:48,665 I had a bunch of e-mails to respond to, 925 00:36:48,698 --> 00:36:50,133 He was crawling all over the keyboard 926 00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:51,635 Wanting to know which button he could push. 927 00:36:51,668 --> 00:36:54,303 It was either that or I lock him in the closet. 928 00:36:54,337 --> 00:36:55,439 Was the world going to end 929 00:36:55,472 --> 00:36:57,040 If you didn't get back to these people right away? 930 00:36:57,073 --> 00:36:58,908 Maybe. 931 00:36:58,942 --> 00:37:01,177 Do you know when the last time was that I checked my e-mail? 932 00:37:01,210 --> 00:37:03,747 You forward poems with kittens and rainbows, 933 00:37:03,780 --> 00:37:05,114 Don't compare that to my work. 934 00:37:06,182 --> 00:37:07,250 Television is not a baby-sitter. 935 00:37:07,283 --> 00:37:08,317 Damn right it's not. 936 00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,719 Babysitters are lazy little bitches. 937 00:37:09,753 --> 00:37:10,587 My boy is down there 938 00:37:10,620 --> 00:37:12,055 Learning about the birds and the bees. 939 00:37:14,090 --> 00:37:16,660 Actual... actual birds and bees. It's the honey episode. 940 00:37:21,998 --> 00:37:23,032 [Dryer beeps] 941 00:37:23,066 --> 00:37:24,668 [Sighs] 942 00:37:24,701 --> 00:37:28,304 [Dryer rumbling] 943 00:37:38,047 --> 00:37:40,917 [♪ gospel choir: Ahhhh] 944 00:37:40,950 --> 00:37:42,318 Huh! 945 00:37:45,489 --> 00:37:46,590 Huh... 946 00:37:51,928 --> 00:37:53,262 Can I bug you about something? 947 00:37:54,464 --> 00:37:55,532 Well, you didn't really give me an option there, did you? 948 00:37:55,565 --> 00:37:56,833 Nuh uh. 949 00:37:56,866 --> 00:37:58,134 How're you doin'? How's your, how's your first week going? 950 00:37:58,167 --> 00:37:59,068 It's really fun. 951 00:37:59,102 --> 00:38:00,837 Yeah. The tips pick up, by the way. Later. 952 00:38:00,870 --> 00:38:01,905 The tips are great. 953 00:38:01,938 --> 00:38:03,006 I'm really happy with it. 954 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:05,074 Good deal. 955 00:38:05,108 --> 00:38:06,943 How can I help you? 956 00:38:06,976 --> 00:38:10,914 I was just wondering if you could take a look at these. 957 00:38:10,947 --> 00:38:12,448 Oh. Sure. 958 00:38:12,482 --> 00:38:14,484 These are... okay, that's you naked. 959 00:38:14,518 --> 00:38:15,819 They're boudoir photos. 960 00:38:15,852 --> 00:38:17,453 I need to pick three and get them blown-up. 961 00:38:17,487 --> 00:38:19,188 Um, for what? 962 00:38:20,389 --> 00:38:21,390 For fun. 963 00:38:22,992 --> 00:38:24,460 So do you like this- 964 00:38:24,494 --> 00:38:25,495 No! Hey! Okay. 965 00:38:25,529 --> 00:38:27,096 Come on! You didn't even look at them. 966 00:38:27,130 --> 00:38:29,032 That's, that's completely inappropriate. 967 00:38:29,065 --> 00:38:30,934 Why? It's just a naked body. 968 00:38:30,967 --> 00:38:32,468 Have you never seen a woman's naked body before? 969 00:38:32,502 --> 00:38:34,504 Not an employees, no. I um- 970 00:38:34,538 --> 00:38:37,040 Oh look, you're... you're turned on. 971 00:38:37,073 --> 00:38:41,811 Okay, that's... You know what? That's uh... 972 00:38:41,845 --> 00:38:43,346 Don't be embarrassed. 973 00:38:43,379 --> 00:38:44,814 You're supposed to get aroused. 974 00:38:44,848 --> 00:38:46,349 Wow. 975 00:38:47,316 --> 00:38:48,384 I think you're a cutie. 976 00:38:50,019 --> 00:38:51,154 Um... 977 00:38:51,187 --> 00:38:52,956 [Cell phone rings] 978 00:38:52,989 --> 00:38:56,025 Oh! I got, I got a phone call. I gotta take this. 979 00:38:56,059 --> 00:38:57,694 I need you to look at these later. 980 00:38:57,727 --> 00:38:58,962 It's my wife. 981 00:38:58,995 --> 00:39:00,997 Whatever. 982 00:39:02,532 --> 00:39:05,101 [Cell phone continues ringing] 983 00:39:06,570 --> 00:39:07,303 Hi honey. 984 00:39:07,336 --> 00:39:09,105 I'm horny. 985 00:39:09,138 --> 00:39:10,273 Excuse me? 986 00:39:10,306 --> 00:39:13,276 Ooh, I'm standing against a vibrating washing machine. 987 00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:15,044 You have no idea how good this feels. 988 00:39:15,078 --> 00:39:16,045 Are you kidding me right now? 989 00:39:16,079 --> 00:39:18,047 Oof, can you talk dirty to me? 990 00:39:18,081 --> 00:39:18,715 - No. I... - Hey, Ben! 991 00:39:18,748 --> 00:39:20,049 - Please. - Hey Jeff! 992 00:39:20,083 --> 00:39:21,718 - Please, please, please. - I'm at work! 993 00:39:21,751 --> 00:39:23,019 You are a bad girl. 994 00:39:23,052 --> 00:39:24,487 Yeah. Yeah, just like that, yeah. 995 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,690 No. No, I mean like you are a bad... 996 00:39:26,723 --> 00:39:28,592 Naughty girl, Okay? This is torture for me. 997 00:39:28,625 --> 00:39:30,660 Yeah, tell me how naughty I am. 998 00:39:30,694 --> 00:39:31,695 - Oooh. - No. No, no, no. 999 00:39:31,728 --> 00:39:32,829 I'm not participating in this, okay? 1000 00:39:32,862 --> 00:39:34,097 This is doing nothing for me. 1001 00:39:34,130 --> 00:39:36,032 Mhmm. Yeah, keep going. 1002 00:39:36,065 --> 00:39:37,033 - Okay, I hate you right now. - Oh, baby. Don't stop. 1003 00:39:37,066 --> 00:39:38,534 You know that? You're gonna give me blue balls 1004 00:39:38,568 --> 00:39:39,903 Because of this. I'm going to be walking around 1005 00:39:39,936 --> 00:39:41,605 With a twinge in my nut sack all day. 1006 00:39:41,638 --> 00:39:42,839 Oh! 1007 00:39:43,472 --> 00:39:44,641 Mmmm. 1008 00:39:44,674 --> 00:39:45,742 I just want you to know that this has been 1009 00:39:45,775 --> 00:39:46,943 A horrible experience for me. 1010 00:39:46,976 --> 00:39:48,044 Oh, that's great babes. 1011 00:39:50,046 --> 00:39:51,781 No, you know what, I'm gonna come home at lunch. 1012 00:39:51,815 --> 00:39:54,584 I can't. I've got Moms Group. 1013 00:39:54,618 --> 00:39:56,485 You are a terrible person. 1014 00:39:56,519 --> 00:39:57,453 Love you too. 1015 00:39:57,486 --> 00:39:58,487 Hey... 1016 00:40:08,164 --> 00:40:12,335 ♪♪ 1017 00:40:19,242 --> 00:40:20,343 Okay. 1018 00:40:24,781 --> 00:40:27,951 Did Lou tell you guys the one about Mr. Funny? 1019 00:40:27,984 --> 00:40:28,952 I haven't heard it. 1020 00:40:28,985 --> 00:40:31,187 No, no, no. Nobody needs to hear that. 1021 00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:32,155 Come on, 1022 00:40:32,188 --> 00:40:33,823 Lou, do it for the new guy. 1023 00:40:33,857 --> 00:40:35,725 No. It was just... 1024 00:40:35,759 --> 00:40:39,228 Lou has discovered her post-baby sexuality. 1025 00:40:39,262 --> 00:40:41,931 I swear to God, you have got to write a blog. 1026 00:40:41,965 --> 00:40:42,932 Do it! 1027 00:40:42,966 --> 00:40:45,134 I met, I met this bloke online. 1028 00:40:45,168 --> 00:40:47,470 And he seemed like a very nice guy, you know, 1029 00:40:47,503 --> 00:40:49,973 So I, I agreed to have him pick me up for a date. 1030 00:40:50,006 --> 00:40:52,008 And so, he made you laugh a lot? 1031 00:40:52,041 --> 00:40:52,976 Not really, no. 1032 00:40:53,009 --> 00:40:54,644 So, why do you call him Mr. Funny? 1033 00:40:54,678 --> 00:40:56,212 No, that's actually his name. 1034 00:40:56,245 --> 00:40:57,981 He's, you know, he's a professional clown 1035 00:40:58,014 --> 00:40:58,982 For a living. 1036 00:40:59,015 --> 00:41:00,583 [Laughter] 1037 00:41:00,616 --> 00:41:02,351 I mean, I think, I think he was nervous 1038 00:41:02,385 --> 00:41:04,187 Because he got in and he just, 1039 00:41:04,220 --> 00:41:05,922 He already had on his little red nose 1040 00:41:05,955 --> 00:41:09,993 And he reached over and he just honked me breasts. 1041 00:41:10,026 --> 00:41:11,961 I mean, you know, I think-I think he was just trying 1042 00:41:11,995 --> 00:41:15,331 To break the ice but I was so surprised that I just... 1043 00:41:15,364 --> 00:41:19,568 Reached over and I grabbed him by his penis really hard 1044 00:41:19,602 --> 00:41:22,005 And I could let go. 1045 00:41:22,038 --> 00:41:23,506 You know, and there we both were 1046 00:41:23,539 --> 00:41:25,408 Starring at each other. Him... 1047 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:29,813 Cuppin' me jubblies and me really givin' it to his banana. 1048 00:41:32,548 --> 00:41:34,417 So things are better with Mark? 1049 00:41:35,885 --> 00:41:36,853 Oh. 1050 00:41:36,886 --> 00:41:38,654 Mark? No. 1051 00:41:38,688 --> 00:41:40,656 He wouldn't put me out if I were on fire. 1052 00:41:40,690 --> 00:41:43,693 Oh no, so you gonna get a divorce? 1053 00:41:43,727 --> 00:41:46,963 No. No, divorces are horrible for children. 1054 00:41:46,996 --> 00:41:48,497 No, we would never put them through that. 1055 00:41:48,531 --> 00:41:52,702 I may be a terrible wife, but I'm a great goddamn mother. 1056 00:41:52,736 --> 00:41:54,070 Wait. So are you, are you seeing someone... 1057 00:41:54,103 --> 00:41:55,271 - on the side? - No. 1058 00:41:57,340 --> 00:41:59,242 There are web sites. 1059 00:41:59,275 --> 00:42:01,644 You know, for people who just wanna... 1060 00:42:01,677 --> 00:42:03,379 Hook-up every now and again. 1061 00:42:03,412 --> 00:42:06,215 You know, it's very casual. 1062 00:42:06,249 --> 00:42:08,051 It's easy. 1063 00:42:08,084 --> 00:42:10,219 I mean, we're all in the same boat, right? 1064 00:42:10,253 --> 00:42:12,555 Nobody wants to get into a messy situation. 1065 00:42:12,588 --> 00:42:14,257 Do you think you could send me the link? 1066 00:42:14,290 --> 00:42:15,424 Absolutely. 1067 00:42:15,458 --> 00:42:17,060 Oh, great. Thanks, yeah. 1068 00:42:18,361 --> 00:42:21,030 But aren't you just, aren't you kind of, living a lie? 1069 00:42:21,064 --> 00:42:23,132 Oh don't be so dramatic. 1070 00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:24,901 I mean, we're doing it for the kids. 1071 00:42:24,934 --> 00:42:27,370 Mark and I may hate each other, but we... 1072 00:42:27,403 --> 00:42:28,437 We love the kids. 1073 00:42:28,471 --> 00:42:29,472 We love the kids. 1074 00:42:29,505 --> 00:42:31,574 And, I mean, we want them to keep their lives. 1075 00:42:31,607 --> 00:42:34,410 We don't want them shuffling back and forth 1076 00:42:34,443 --> 00:42:36,312 From house to house every other weekend. 1077 00:42:36,345 --> 00:42:38,848 I mean... no. 1078 00:42:38,882 --> 00:42:39,883 That's not a way to live. 1079 00:42:39,916 --> 00:42:43,086 If the, the kids are happy then we're happy. 1080 00:42:43,119 --> 00:42:44,120 [Baby crying] 1081 00:42:44,153 --> 00:42:45,421 Aw, yes. 1082 00:42:46,790 --> 00:42:48,892 But how can you possible by happy? 1083 00:42:48,925 --> 00:42:50,259 Listen. 1084 00:42:50,293 --> 00:42:53,096 You have to satisfy yourself as a parent first, 1085 00:42:53,129 --> 00:42:56,599 Otherwise it's the kids who really get hurt. 1086 00:42:56,632 --> 00:42:58,101 I'm right, right? 1087 00:43:02,671 --> 00:43:04,107 So then I just stuck me thumb in, 1088 00:43:04,140 --> 00:43:06,142 But you know, even that's only so big, isn't it? 1089 00:43:06,175 --> 00:43:09,412 Hmm. Well, how far? Like, nail? Or... 1090 00:43:09,445 --> 00:43:12,148 No, I mean, all the way in because that's, you know... 1091 00:43:12,181 --> 00:43:13,382 [Laughs] 1092 00:43:13,416 --> 00:43:16,252 I, I heard it's like past the, past the knuckle 1093 00:43:16,285 --> 00:43:17,620 And it's uncomfortable, you know. 1094 00:43:17,653 --> 00:43:20,123 Do you always serve your, uh, yogurt in a tube? 1095 00:43:20,156 --> 00:43:21,690 Oh yeah, it's brilliant. 1096 00:43:21,724 --> 00:43:24,160 Cause, it's yogurt, right? But then... 1097 00:43:24,193 --> 00:43:25,494 You know, it's in a tube. 1098 00:43:25,528 --> 00:43:27,296 Yeah, but it's not really yogurt. 1099 00:43:27,330 --> 00:43:28,697 I mean, have you read the ingredients? 1100 00:43:28,731 --> 00:43:30,499 It's got five different sweeteners in here. 1101 00:43:30,533 --> 00:43:32,101 Oh, yes. 1102 00:43:32,135 --> 00:43:34,637 That's right, I forgot. You're Larissa's brother. 1103 00:43:34,670 --> 00:43:38,274 Oh, does Larissa not let you eat things from a tube? 1104 00:43:38,307 --> 00:43:39,809 No, it's... 1105 00:43:39,843 --> 00:43:42,345 It's the high fructose corn syrup... that's, uh... 1106 00:43:42,378 --> 00:43:43,712 It's like crack for kids, right? 1107 00:43:44,647 --> 00:43:47,083 Right well we won't have anything in a tube 1108 00:43:47,116 --> 00:43:48,217 For next week. 1109 00:43:48,251 --> 00:43:50,353 Is that all right? All forgiven, Daddy? 1110 00:43:50,386 --> 00:43:52,421 That's... um... 1111 00:43:52,455 --> 00:43:56,025 You know... you know, just don't call me Daddy it's... 1112 00:43:56,059 --> 00:43:57,126 Sorry. 1113 00:43:58,527 --> 00:43:59,996 That's okay. 1114 00:44:00,997 --> 00:44:02,265 You know, he's single. 1115 00:44:02,298 --> 00:44:03,599 Yeah. No, no. Yeah. 1116 00:44:03,632 --> 00:44:05,001 Yeah, he's nice. 1117 00:44:05,034 --> 00:44:06,235 Yeah. Yeah. 1118 00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:08,437 I'm not, not really looking for anything nice at the minute, 1119 00:44:08,471 --> 00:44:11,107 You know, just strictly looking for sexual deviants. 1120 00:44:11,140 --> 00:44:12,441 Right now... 1121 00:44:12,475 --> 00:44:13,642 Oh. 1122 00:44:13,676 --> 00:44:15,478 Well. Good luck then. 1123 00:44:15,511 --> 00:44:17,180 Oh, thanks. Yeah, thanks. 1124 00:44:18,614 --> 00:44:20,049 [Nervous laughter] 1125 00:44:20,083 --> 00:44:20,917 Okay. 1126 00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:21,985 Can I have my cup back? 1127 00:44:22,018 --> 00:44:23,786 - Right, sorry. - Yeah. 1128 00:44:23,819 --> 00:44:25,955 So now I want it to be honest, right? 1129 00:44:25,989 --> 00:44:29,658 But not necessarily completely truthful. 1130 00:44:29,692 --> 00:44:31,427 All right, well... how's this then? 1131 00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:34,063 "Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser" 1132 00:44:34,097 --> 00:44:36,632 Wallowing in an unending sea of inert, 1133 00:44:36,665 --> 00:44:37,733 Drooping loneliness 1134 00:44:37,766 --> 00:44:40,269 Looking for needy leech-like, hanger-oners 1135 00:44:40,303 --> 00:44:43,439 To abuse with dull stories, kinky sex 1136 00:44:43,472 --> 00:44:46,442 And uh, old A-Ha albums." 1137 00:44:46,475 --> 00:44:47,810 Do you think I should mention 1138 00:44:47,843 --> 00:44:49,879 That I've got a child? 1139 00:44:49,913 --> 00:44:51,147 "With a bastard." 1140 00:44:51,180 --> 00:44:53,349 God, why don't you just say I masturbate every night 1141 00:44:53,382 --> 00:44:54,350 And cry myself to sleep? 1142 00:44:54,383 --> 00:44:55,351 - Give me that. - Hey! 1143 00:44:55,384 --> 00:44:56,920 One more go. 1144 00:44:56,953 --> 00:44:58,721 Um... oh! 1145 00:44:58,754 --> 00:45:00,990 "I'm A Little Red Hen 1146 00:45:01,024 --> 00:45:03,459 And the barnyard feels empty without you." 1147 00:45:03,492 --> 00:45:05,228 Oh yeah, I like that. 1148 00:45:05,261 --> 00:45:06,695 Add... okay. 1149 00:45:06,729 --> 00:45:09,966 Add "I would like to have my feathers tickled by you..." 1150 00:45:09,999 --> 00:45:11,834 Those into henpecking need not apply. 1151 00:45:11,867 --> 00:45:13,169 "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" 1152 00:45:13,869 --> 00:45:15,204 I'm not writing that last part. 1153 00:45:15,238 --> 00:45:16,272 Oh no, it's great, right? 1154 00:45:16,305 --> 00:45:18,474 Cause it's a bit risqué, you know, I say... 1155 00:45:18,507 --> 00:45:20,009 I say the word "cock." 1156 00:45:20,043 --> 00:45:25,048 Where you going? 1157 00:45:25,081 --> 00:45:27,016 No, I say cock. 1158 00:45:27,050 --> 00:45:29,385 It's nice, isn't it? If I... 1159 00:45:34,090 --> 00:45:37,226 [Breathing heavily] 1160 00:45:37,260 --> 00:45:38,694 - Hi, sweetie! - Hi, sweetie! 1161 00:45:38,727 --> 00:45:40,663 [Stammering] I was just upstairs on the internet 1162 00:45:40,696 --> 00:45:43,799 Watching some porn... uh, some stuff, you know, 1163 00:45:43,832 --> 00:45:46,269 On the internet uh, um. 1164 00:45:46,302 --> 00:45:48,771 The stamina of some of these performers 1165 00:45:48,804 --> 00:45:51,607 Is just phenomenal. 1166 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,277 They must be on quite the training schedule. 1167 00:45:54,310 --> 00:45:56,579 You know, so I made a bunch of notes. 1168 00:45:56,612 --> 00:45:57,913 You know, things that I thought could help us 1169 00:45:57,947 --> 00:46:00,049 To improve our, you know... 1170 00:46:00,083 --> 00:46:03,419 How thoughtful of you, Horton. 1171 00:46:03,452 --> 00:46:05,288 For example, um... 1172 00:46:05,321 --> 00:46:07,423 Where, where, where is it. Oh yeah, here. Uh... 1173 00:46:07,456 --> 00:46:10,593 Did you know that every single video starts 1174 00:46:10,626 --> 00:46:11,995 With oral sex. 1175 00:46:12,028 --> 00:46:13,362 Really... 1176 00:46:13,396 --> 00:46:14,930 Why do you think that is? 1177 00:46:14,964 --> 00:46:16,565 Well, because for a woman... 1178 00:46:16,599 --> 00:46:20,403 Well, it's because "blow jobs are like flowers for guys." 1179 00:46:20,436 --> 00:46:22,305 I haven't had flowers since our wedding. 1180 00:46:22,338 --> 00:46:24,307 Yeah, well, at least you got flowers. 1181 00:46:24,340 --> 00:46:25,441 I know. 1182 00:46:26,675 --> 00:46:30,246 We could, um, bring a toy into the bedroom. 1183 00:46:30,279 --> 00:46:33,082 [Stammering] Where would we get them? 1184 00:46:33,116 --> 00:46:36,152 - I, I have a few. - A few?! 1185 00:46:36,185 --> 00:46:37,653 Oh Horton, you'll love it. 1186 00:46:37,686 --> 00:46:40,423 The first time I had an orgasm with a vibrator 1187 00:46:40,456 --> 00:46:43,092 It was like, it was like seeing color 1188 00:46:43,126 --> 00:46:45,294 After years of blindness. 1189 00:46:45,328 --> 00:46:48,964 I'm also... um, I'm curious about this 1190 00:46:48,998 --> 00:46:51,067 Whole anal sex thing, what do you think? 1191 00:46:53,136 --> 00:46:55,704 [Laughs] 1192 00:46:55,738 --> 00:46:56,872 Up the [Blows raspberry]? 1193 00:46:56,905 --> 00:46:58,641 [Laughs] 1194 00:46:58,674 --> 00:47:00,176 You're kidding me, right? 1195 00:47:00,209 --> 00:47:02,311 No. No. 1196 00:47:02,345 --> 00:47:04,180 It's not just for homosexuals anymore. 1197 00:47:04,213 --> 00:47:06,315 I mean, we could try it. 1198 00:47:06,349 --> 00:47:09,352 [Stammering] Pumpkin, aren't you, like, worried it'll... 1199 00:47:09,385 --> 00:47:10,519 We're not spring chickens anymore, 1200 00:47:10,553 --> 00:47:13,122 Things don't snap back like they used to. 1201 00:47:13,156 --> 00:47:14,323 Uh... 1202 00:47:14,357 --> 00:47:15,991 I mean, considering what we've got to work with. 1203 00:47:16,025 --> 00:47:17,526 I mean... 1204 00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:19,195 You know. 1205 00:47:19,228 --> 00:47:20,963 I think... 1206 00:47:20,996 --> 00:47:23,332 It's a risk worth taking. 1207 00:47:24,233 --> 00:47:25,734 Good job, honey. 1208 00:47:28,171 --> 00:47:30,573 [Rooster crowing] 1209 00:47:37,146 --> 00:47:38,981 Where are you going, captain? 1210 00:47:39,014 --> 00:47:41,417 Shh, go back to sleep. 1211 00:47:41,450 --> 00:47:43,652 I have to hoist the jib. 1212 00:47:43,686 --> 00:47:45,221 It's the weekend, Sean. 1213 00:47:45,254 --> 00:47:47,056 Yeah, I know I just have to take care of 1214 00:47:47,090 --> 00:47:48,591 A few things at the office. 1215 00:47:48,624 --> 00:47:49,858 Hey. 1216 00:47:49,892 --> 00:47:51,394 Let's have a quickie. 1217 00:47:51,427 --> 00:47:52,861 I'm good. 1218 00:47:52,895 --> 00:47:54,630 What the hell does that mean? 1219 00:47:55,531 --> 00:47:56,432 [Sighs] 1220 00:47:57,766 --> 00:48:00,469 Honey. With all due respect and love, 1221 00:48:00,503 --> 00:48:02,105 The other night was the worst sexual experience 1222 00:48:02,138 --> 00:48:03,539 Of my life. 1223 00:48:03,572 --> 00:48:05,074 Well... 1224 00:48:05,108 --> 00:48:06,575 Let me make it up to you. 1225 00:48:06,609 --> 00:48:08,811 No, I'm not in the mood. 1226 00:48:08,844 --> 00:48:10,746 You're a guy, Sean. Just... 1227 00:48:10,779 --> 00:48:12,047 Get in the mood. 1228 00:48:13,149 --> 00:48:14,250 What-What do you expect me to do? 1229 00:48:14,283 --> 00:48:15,751 You want me to get magically aroused 1230 00:48:15,784 --> 00:48:17,586 Every time you want me to? 1231 00:48:17,620 --> 00:48:18,754 Oh no. 1232 00:48:18,787 --> 00:48:22,625 Should we get, should we get you some Viagra? 1233 00:48:22,658 --> 00:48:24,793 No. That's not the problem. 1234 00:48:24,827 --> 00:48:26,295 There's a problem? 1235 00:48:29,498 --> 00:48:32,235 Honey, listen... 1236 00:48:34,002 --> 00:48:35,271 When we first got together 1237 00:48:35,304 --> 00:48:38,574 You were this gorgeous model and now you... 1238 00:48:39,842 --> 00:48:42,278 [Stammering] You're not. You're the... 1239 00:48:42,311 --> 00:48:45,448 Mother-house-wife thing. 1240 00:48:45,481 --> 00:48:47,950 Which is great, it's fantastic. It's just... 1241 00:48:51,620 --> 00:48:52,921 It's an adjustment. 1242 00:48:55,591 --> 00:48:57,193 Don't worry. 1243 00:49:03,832 --> 00:49:06,135 House-wife-mother-thing, my ass. 1244 00:49:06,169 --> 00:49:09,838 ♪♪ 1245 00:49:16,312 --> 00:49:17,780 Ahh! 1246 00:49:17,813 --> 00:49:19,282 Ow! Fuck! 1247 00:49:23,686 --> 00:49:25,354 - Do you mind? - Hey Vanessa... Oh! 1248 00:49:27,723 --> 00:49:29,124 Mama! 1249 00:49:29,158 --> 00:49:30,826 Yes, he is a Canadian actor, David, 1250 00:49:30,859 --> 00:49:31,994 But he lives in L.A. now 1251 00:49:32,027 --> 00:49:33,996 So he doesn't do scale anymore. 1252 00:49:34,029 --> 00:49:35,130 [Door slams] 1253 00:49:39,535 --> 00:49:40,636 David, hang on, hang on. 1254 00:49:40,669 --> 00:49:42,070 Could I call you back, David? 1255 00:49:42,104 --> 00:49:43,772 Call you in a bit. 1256 00:49:43,806 --> 00:49:45,408 - You look amazing. - I know. 1257 00:49:45,441 --> 00:49:47,810 - You smell amazing. - Shut up. 1258 00:49:51,046 --> 00:49:52,548 What're you waiting for? 1259 00:49:53,549 --> 00:49:56,785 Oh! Oh God. Oh God, yes! 1260 00:49:56,819 --> 00:49:58,153 - Yes, come on! - Don't! 1261 00:49:58,187 --> 00:49:59,822 Oh, no. Not right now. Not right now. 1262 00:49:59,855 --> 00:50:01,524 Very soon, very soon. 1263 00:50:01,557 --> 00:50:03,526 Yes! Dammit! Fuck! 1264 00:50:03,559 --> 00:50:05,861 [Moaning] 1265 00:50:05,894 --> 00:50:08,297 - I got a cramp! - Work it the fuck out! 1266 00:50:08,331 --> 00:50:11,567 Can you tell this guy that we need 5% on the backend? 1267 00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,970 [Moaning] 1268 00:50:15,003 --> 00:50:16,805 Can I go now? I'm gonna go now. 1269 00:50:16,839 --> 00:50:19,174 [Groaning] 1270 00:50:19,208 --> 00:50:23,646 [Breathing heavily] 1271 00:50:23,679 --> 00:50:25,047 Okay. 1272 00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:26,181 That'll be $500. 1273 00:50:26,215 --> 00:50:27,883 [Laughs] Haha, That's cute. 1274 00:50:27,916 --> 00:50:29,585 That's cute. 1275 00:50:30,386 --> 00:50:32,555 Do I look like I'm being cute? 1276 00:50:37,593 --> 00:50:40,229 Something wrong with your Centurion card? 1277 00:50:40,263 --> 00:50:41,930 Pay me my fucking money. 1278 00:50:44,967 --> 00:50:46,134 Oh... 1279 00:50:51,374 --> 00:50:53,075 I'm not sure I have 500... 1280 00:50:53,108 --> 00:50:54,443 20, 40, 60... 1281 00:50:56,379 --> 00:50:58,146 80, 1, 20, 40... 1282 00:51:00,883 --> 00:51:04,287 Don't you ever call me a house-wife again. 1283 00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:05,554 Got it? 1284 00:51:06,422 --> 00:51:07,856 Okay. 1285 00:51:07,890 --> 00:51:08,991 Good. 1286 00:51:10,125 --> 00:51:14,897 And I will be expecting champagne and flowers. 1287 00:51:14,930 --> 00:51:15,831 Really. 1288 00:51:23,472 --> 00:51:25,073 And... 1289 00:51:25,107 --> 00:51:26,141 He's asleep. 1290 00:51:26,174 --> 00:51:28,444 It's about fucking time. 1291 00:51:28,477 --> 00:51:29,878 Whoa. 1292 00:51:29,912 --> 00:51:32,114 You having a contest with yourself to see many dishes 1293 00:51:32,147 --> 00:51:33,449 You can dirty to make a single meal. 1294 00:51:33,482 --> 00:51:35,918 Yes, I am. And I'm winning. 1295 00:51:35,951 --> 00:51:39,955 Hey, I'm washing the dishes anyway, so just chill. 1296 00:51:39,988 --> 00:51:41,457 It's fine. This is what she does now, 1297 00:51:41,490 --> 00:51:43,792 She criticizes every little thing that I do. 1298 00:51:43,826 --> 00:51:45,260 Bleh! 1299 00:51:45,294 --> 00:51:47,029 It is delightful. 1300 00:51:47,062 --> 00:51:48,397 How is criticism a bad thing 1301 00:51:48,431 --> 00:51:50,098 If I'm trying to help you be a better person? 1302 00:51:50,132 --> 00:51:51,166 Oh, wow. 1303 00:51:51,199 --> 00:51:52,568 That's not at all condescending, is it? 1304 00:51:52,601 --> 00:51:53,569 You live with this, huh? 1305 00:51:53,602 --> 00:51:55,070 I do indeed, let's change the subject. 1306 00:51:55,103 --> 00:51:56,739 I'd like to hear more about Gage's love life. 1307 00:51:56,772 --> 00:51:58,307 - Oh, yes. - No. No. 1308 00:51:58,341 --> 00:51:59,342 How many women have you slept with 1309 00:51:59,375 --> 00:52:00,443 Since you've decided to find this 1310 00:52:00,476 --> 00:52:02,044 Fine, upstanding woman? 1311 00:52:02,077 --> 00:52:03,412 Wow. Judge much? 1312 00:52:03,446 --> 00:52:04,447 None. 1313 00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:05,448 Really? 1314 00:52:05,481 --> 00:52:07,249 You realize that we are substituting sleeping 1315 00:52:07,282 --> 00:52:09,284 For fucking, right? 1316 00:52:09,318 --> 00:52:10,819 He's trying to make a life change, 1317 00:52:10,853 --> 00:52:12,721 Let's not rake him over the coals. 1318 00:52:12,755 --> 00:52:16,992 - Thank you. - Okay what you have to understand if we're a little... 1319 00:52:17,025 --> 00:52:20,028 Just hesitant to believe that you're no longer a man slut. 1320 00:52:20,062 --> 00:52:21,129 Just because Gage 1321 00:52:21,163 --> 00:52:22,297 Has massive commitment issues, 1322 00:52:22,331 --> 00:52:23,532 And never gives anyone a second chance... 1323 00:52:23,566 --> 00:52:24,700 I thought you were on my side. 1324 00:52:24,733 --> 00:52:26,635 It's coming. Doesn't mean he can't get his giant head 1325 00:52:26,669 --> 00:52:28,771 Out of his ass and become a better person 1326 00:52:28,804 --> 00:52:30,172 For the sake of his child of all people! 1327 00:52:30,205 --> 00:52:31,039 That was it coming? 1328 00:52:31,073 --> 00:52:32,207 I think it's awesome. 1329 00:52:32,240 --> 00:52:33,609 Thank you! 1330 00:52:33,642 --> 00:52:34,977 I just don't really think that you can do it. 1331 00:52:35,010 --> 00:52:37,613 Fuck you, look... 1332 00:52:37,646 --> 00:52:39,382 Why the hell do I come over here, my God... 1333 00:52:39,415 --> 00:52:40,749 Look... 1334 00:52:40,783 --> 00:52:43,151 I just happen to have met somebody. 1335 00:52:43,185 --> 00:52:44,553 And it was actually in your Moms Group. 1336 00:52:44,587 --> 00:52:45,454 - Mom group! - Mom group! 1337 00:52:45,488 --> 00:52:47,255 - Yeah. - Wow. 1338 00:52:47,289 --> 00:52:52,160 And she's a regular cacophony of issues. 1339 00:52:52,194 --> 00:52:54,563 But she's got something, I don't know. 1340 00:52:54,597 --> 00:52:56,365 Anyway, I'm gonna ask her out on a date, I think. 1341 00:52:56,399 --> 00:52:58,033 That's great! 1342 00:52:58,066 --> 00:53:00,803 I'll get excited when you ask her out on a second date. 1343 00:53:00,836 --> 00:53:01,804 You know what, Larissa? 1344 00:53:01,837 --> 00:53:03,539 People can change, okay. 1345 00:53:03,572 --> 00:53:06,842 Yeah, but just because they can doesn't mean they do. 1346 00:53:06,875 --> 00:53:09,378 You know, especially when you reach a certain age. 1347 00:53:09,412 --> 00:53:11,380 Yeah, I'm 22 and I'm already locked into 1348 00:53:11,414 --> 00:53:12,448 Being a bit of a bitch. 1349 00:53:12,481 --> 00:53:13,782 Well, but it suits you. 1350 00:53:13,816 --> 00:53:14,750 Do you think so? 1351 00:53:14,783 --> 00:53:17,119 - Mhmm. - Aw. 1352 00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:20,022 This is just delightful. 1353 00:53:20,055 --> 00:53:21,424 I just want to back up for a second... 1354 00:53:21,457 --> 00:53:23,426 I'm sorry are you saying that you think that... 1355 00:53:23,459 --> 00:53:25,093 Some people can't change? 1356 00:53:26,529 --> 00:53:27,763 Cause I... 1357 00:53:27,796 --> 00:53:29,565 [Stammers] Or is it just that maybe the people around them 1358 00:53:29,598 --> 00:53:31,667 Can't handle that they just might have to change 1359 00:53:31,700 --> 00:53:33,035 A little bit too? 1360 00:53:33,068 --> 00:53:34,236 Okay, you know what, you're right. 1361 00:53:34,269 --> 00:53:37,072 We shouldn't have started talking about this. I'm sorry. 1362 00:53:37,105 --> 00:53:38,407 Why? It was just getting started. 1363 00:53:38,441 --> 00:53:40,943 Yeah, Larissa, we're just getting started. Come on... 1364 00:53:43,278 --> 00:53:45,581 Okay, bye. Thanks you for this delicious 1365 00:53:45,614 --> 00:53:47,883 And slightly awkward brunch. 1366 00:53:47,916 --> 00:53:49,552 - Yes, it was. - Okay, see ya. 1367 00:53:49,585 --> 00:53:50,953 - Bye. - Bye, sweetie! 1368 00:53:52,421 --> 00:53:54,757 They're gone. Kid's still napping. You wanna... 1369 00:53:54,790 --> 00:53:55,958 Screw around? 1370 00:53:56,959 --> 00:53:58,026 Are you kidding? 1371 00:53:58,060 --> 00:54:00,529 I, I never kid about screwing around. 1372 00:54:00,563 --> 00:54:02,397 How can you have sex with someone you're pissed off with? 1373 00:54:02,431 --> 00:54:04,032 If I let something silly like that get in the way 1374 00:54:04,066 --> 00:54:05,300 I would never get laid. 1375 00:54:06,268 --> 00:54:07,436 I'm kidding. 1376 00:54:07,470 --> 00:54:09,605 It's a joke. Ha-ha. Funny. 1377 00:54:09,638 --> 00:54:11,574 Why do you think I'm pissed off with you? 1378 00:54:13,809 --> 00:54:15,844 Nothing. I need to wash diapers. 1379 00:54:16,945 --> 00:54:18,547 Perfect, I'm just gonna go... 1380 00:54:18,581 --> 00:54:19,915 Fuck myself then. 1381 00:54:19,948 --> 00:54:22,017 Yeah. Have fun. 1382 00:54:22,050 --> 00:54:26,455 [♪ Maylee Todd: "Heart Throb"] 1383 00:54:26,489 --> 00:54:32,027 ♪♪ 1384 00:54:32,060 --> 00:54:33,061 Yeah. 1385 00:54:33,095 --> 00:54:35,063 I'm heading home. 1386 00:54:35,097 --> 00:54:36,799 Mhmm. 1387 00:54:36,832 --> 00:54:38,701 I don't care. I'll call him tomorrow. 1388 00:54:38,734 --> 00:54:39,835 Bye. 1389 00:54:39,868 --> 00:54:46,842 ♪♪ 1390 00:54:52,915 --> 00:54:54,683 Hey, hey, sexy. I'm home. 1391 00:54:54,717 --> 00:54:58,086 [Shushing baby] 1392 00:54:58,120 --> 00:54:59,622 Hey. 1393 00:54:59,655 --> 00:55:02,090 [Baby babbling] 1394 00:55:05,293 --> 00:55:07,129 [Shushing] 1395 00:55:07,162 --> 00:55:08,531 I'll put this in the fridge. 1396 00:55:10,432 --> 00:55:14,102 ♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star 1397 00:55:14,136 --> 00:55:19,441 ♪ How I wonder what you are 1398 00:55:19,474 --> 00:55:22,945 ♪ When the blazing sun is gone, 1399 00:55:22,978 --> 00:55:26,749 ♪ When he nothing shines upon, 1400 00:55:27,983 --> 00:55:30,986 ♪ Then you show your little light, 1401 00:55:32,354 --> 00:55:35,023 ♪ Twinkle, twinkle, 1402 00:55:35,057 --> 00:55:38,727 ♪ through the night... 1403 00:55:46,401 --> 00:55:47,502 Uh, hey. 1404 00:55:47,536 --> 00:55:49,905 It's Gage. I was thinking about you. 1405 00:55:49,938 --> 00:55:52,007 You know, the, the other day at the Mom's Group 1406 00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:53,041 I thought you were really funny. 1407 00:55:53,075 --> 00:55:54,509 I just can't stop thinking about you. 1408 00:55:54,543 --> 00:55:57,112 Yeah, I found this number in my pocket. 1409 00:55:57,145 --> 00:55:59,582 And I thought maybe we could, um, 1410 00:55:59,615 --> 00:56:01,083 Take our kids to the park... 1411 00:56:01,116 --> 00:56:02,517 To the library. 1412 00:56:04,519 --> 00:56:06,589 There's a new bar in Riverdale. 1413 00:56:06,622 --> 00:56:08,023 Shnitzel, no. 1414 00:56:08,056 --> 00:56:09,925 Tea. It's organic lamb. 1415 00:56:09,958 --> 00:56:11,026 Chimichangas? 1416 00:56:11,059 --> 00:56:12,728 I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. 1417 00:56:12,761 --> 00:56:15,898 Maybe you don't either, and that would be great. 1418 00:56:22,004 --> 00:56:23,038 Peppercorn. 1419 00:56:23,071 --> 00:56:23,906 No. 1420 00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:26,074 Mushroom? 1421 00:56:26,108 --> 00:56:27,743 Oh, come on. Be serious. 1422 00:56:29,144 --> 00:56:30,646 Linoleum. 1423 00:56:30,679 --> 00:56:32,881 Are you seriously saying that you're gonna shout out 1424 00:56:32,915 --> 00:56:35,417 "Linoleum!" when you're being molested? 1425 00:56:35,450 --> 00:56:37,552 These safe-words'll get you killed. 1426 00:56:37,586 --> 00:56:40,856 Well I don't know, Pey, I've never done this before. 1427 00:56:40,889 --> 00:56:43,125 What word do you use? 1428 00:56:43,158 --> 00:56:44,092 Harder. 1429 00:56:44,126 --> 00:56:45,127 Harder? 1430 00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:46,228 Mhm. 1431 00:56:46,261 --> 00:56:47,930 Well, that's a terrible safe-word. 1432 00:56:47,963 --> 00:56:49,031 Why? 1433 00:56:49,064 --> 00:56:54,837 Well, what do I say, you know, if I want it harder? 1434 00:56:54,870 --> 00:56:56,504 I don't know... peppercorn? 1435 00:56:56,538 --> 00:56:58,173 Oh God. 1436 00:56:58,206 --> 00:56:59,007 She asleep? 1437 00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:00,275 Yep. 1438 00:57:00,308 --> 00:57:01,844 How do you do that? 1439 00:57:01,877 --> 00:57:04,913 Something I found on YouTube. 1440 00:57:06,314 --> 00:57:09,217 I'm right proud of you, Pey. 1441 00:57:09,251 --> 00:57:11,920 Yeah, well... you don't want to know what I was searching for 1442 00:57:11,954 --> 00:57:13,321 Before I found it. 1443 00:57:13,355 --> 00:57:15,057 [Phone ringing] 1444 00:57:15,090 --> 00:57:16,424 No. 1445 00:57:16,458 --> 00:57:18,393 [Voicemail] Hi, it's Lou. I bought this machine used, 1446 00:57:18,426 --> 00:57:21,396 So I don't know if it doesn't work or if no one ever rings me. 1447 00:57:21,429 --> 00:57:24,366 Wow. Okay. Hopefully it's just broken. 1448 00:57:24,399 --> 00:57:25,934 Leave a message. 1449 00:57:25,968 --> 00:57:29,872 Hey, Lou. It's Gage, from Mom's Group. 1450 00:57:29,905 --> 00:57:33,275 I just, uh, just... just give me a call when you can. 1451 00:57:33,308 --> 00:57:39,782 Or text or e-mail or... I don't do twitter. Um... bye. 1452 00:57:42,417 --> 00:57:43,919 [Sighs] 1453 00:57:56,965 --> 00:57:58,033 - What do you like? - Everything. 1454 00:57:58,066 --> 00:57:59,401 - Have you been tested? - Last month. 1455 00:57:59,434 --> 00:58:00,535 Have you ever committed a sex crime? 1456 00:58:00,568 --> 00:58:01,670 - Hard to say. - Why? 1457 00:58:01,704 --> 00:58:02,570 Lines are blurry. 1458 00:58:02,604 --> 00:58:03,672 - Do you think you have? - No. 1459 00:58:03,706 --> 00:58:05,741 - Do you find me attractive? - Love the tank-dress. 1460 00:58:05,774 --> 00:58:07,943 - Did you bring handcuffs? - That a deal breaker? 1461 00:58:07,976 --> 00:58:09,277 No, got my brother's. 1462 00:58:09,311 --> 00:58:10,679 Okay. Mmm. 1463 00:58:10,713 --> 00:58:12,447 - Okay. Okay. - Okay. 1464 00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:13,749 Talk dirty to me. 1465 00:58:13,782 --> 00:58:15,083 All right. Um. 1466 00:58:15,117 --> 00:58:17,419 I'm gonna bang you batty. 1467 00:58:17,452 --> 00:58:21,323 I'm going to wrap myself around your mildewy meat stick! 1468 00:58:21,356 --> 00:58:22,524 Mildewy? 1469 00:58:22,557 --> 00:58:23,892 Oh, Sorry. I've not, I've not really done this. 1470 00:58:23,926 --> 00:58:24,860 What should I say? 1471 00:58:24,893 --> 00:58:26,829 Just tell me you want my gigantic cock. 1472 00:58:26,862 --> 00:58:27,963 Oh, I do. That's what I want! 1473 00:58:27,996 --> 00:58:32,334 I want, I do want that. I want, I want your gigantic... 1474 00:58:32,367 --> 00:58:34,369 It's not really gigantic, though. Is it? 1475 00:58:34,402 --> 00:58:35,537 What do you think we should call that? 1476 00:58:35,570 --> 00:58:36,905 Is this what you're going to be like this whole time? 1477 00:58:36,939 --> 00:58:40,008 No. No, no, no. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Right. 1478 00:58:40,042 --> 00:58:44,847 I want your gigantic cock inside of my really gaping vagina. 1479 00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,082 Gaping? 1480 00:58:47,115 --> 00:58:49,451 It's not gaping. It's normal. It's a really normal vagina. 1481 00:58:49,484 --> 00:58:51,186 - I just, I thought we were... - Maybe you should not talk. 1482 00:58:51,219 --> 00:58:52,420 - Okay. I can not talk. - Okay. 1483 00:58:52,454 --> 00:58:54,222 Okay. 1484 00:58:54,256 --> 00:58:56,158 Are, are you gonna urinate on me, do you think? 1485 00:58:56,191 --> 00:58:57,159 What? 1486 00:58:57,192 --> 00:58:58,326 Well, it's okay if you are. 1487 00:58:58,360 --> 00:58:59,862 It's just that I have a little drop sheet. 1488 00:58:59,895 --> 00:59:01,396 And you can just scoot it under me 1489 00:59:01,429 --> 00:59:03,265 And then we don't have to get urine all over the bed. 1490 00:59:03,298 --> 00:59:04,767 It's just... my bed. 1491 00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:07,169 Is just... that something you are into? 1492 00:59:07,202 --> 00:59:07,936 I don't know. 1493 00:59:07,970 --> 00:59:10,172 [Stutters] Do you have to go? 1494 00:59:10,205 --> 00:59:11,439 No. 1495 00:59:11,473 --> 00:59:13,742 Okay, so it doesn't matter. It's a completely moot point, innit? 1496 00:59:13,776 --> 00:59:15,243 Just, just have your way with me. 1497 00:59:15,277 --> 00:59:17,579 I feel like we kind of lost momentum here. 1498 00:59:17,612 --> 00:59:18,914 Oh, no no. We didn't. We didn't. 1499 00:59:18,947 --> 00:59:21,249 I remember where we left off. Watch! 1500 00:59:21,283 --> 00:59:24,586 I want your gigantic cock inside of my very normal, 1501 00:59:24,619 --> 00:59:26,454 Average, run-of-the-mill vagina. 1502 00:59:28,056 --> 00:59:29,257 I'm gonna go. 1503 00:59:29,291 --> 00:59:31,193 Oh, no, no, no. Don't. No. Wait, wait, wait. 1504 00:59:31,226 --> 00:59:32,394 I can do better! 1505 00:59:32,427 --> 00:59:34,329 I can! I can do accents! 1506 00:59:34,362 --> 00:59:39,001 Put your crazy big penis inside my vagina. 1507 00:59:39,034 --> 00:59:40,068 Wow... 1508 00:59:40,102 --> 00:59:43,171 Okay, wait. No no no. Hang on. Hang on. 1509 00:59:43,205 --> 00:59:45,908 I, I... we can role play. Do you have any fantasies or anything? 1510 00:59:45,941 --> 00:59:48,243 I do a very convincing Margaret Atwood. 1511 00:59:51,046 --> 00:59:54,549 I'm Margaret Atwood. I write for Canada. 1512 00:59:54,582 --> 00:59:58,486 Novels. I'm a novel writer. 1513 01:00:00,422 --> 01:00:02,257 It's not even close. 1514 01:00:08,596 --> 01:00:10,432 Pey? 1515 01:00:11,099 --> 01:00:13,168 Peyton? 1516 01:00:13,201 --> 01:00:15,470 Are you out there? 1517 01:00:19,541 --> 01:00:22,210 Harder... 1518 01:00:22,244 --> 01:00:25,280 Harder... 1519 01:00:25,313 --> 01:00:28,884 Harder! 1520 01:00:32,287 --> 01:00:33,521 Well, I think it's safe to say 1521 01:00:33,555 --> 01:00:35,457 You're not very good at the whole deviant thing. 1522 01:00:36,892 --> 01:00:39,394 I tried really hard, Pey. 1523 01:00:39,427 --> 01:00:40,863 Oh, I know you did, love. But... 1524 01:00:40,896 --> 01:00:43,265 Surely you know some kind of normal chap 1525 01:00:47,702 --> 01:00:48,803 That doesn't mind having a laugh and not taking it too seriously. 1526 01:00:48,837 --> 01:00:50,238 Well, there is this bloke in me Mom and Tots group, 1527 01:00:50,272 --> 01:00:52,540 Left me a voicemail. I mean, I could give him a go. 1528 01:00:52,574 --> 01:00:53,541 Well, there you have it. 1529 01:00:53,575 --> 01:00:54,709 I mean, he sounds like a bit of a wanker. 1530 01:00:54,742 --> 01:00:56,111 But yeah, sure. Start with him. 1531 01:00:57,812 --> 01:00:59,948 I really did try hard. 1532 01:00:59,982 --> 01:01:01,083 I know you did. 1533 01:01:01,116 --> 01:01:02,050 [Baby crying] 1534 01:01:02,084 --> 01:01:03,751 Oh, shh. You're all right, sweetie. 1535 01:01:03,785 --> 01:01:05,253 She's got a dirty diaper. 1536 01:01:05,287 --> 01:01:06,788 No, no. She's hungry. 1537 01:01:06,821 --> 01:01:09,091 No, no, no. She's making the "heh" sound. 1538 01:01:09,124 --> 01:01:10,425 Means she's uncomfortable. 1539 01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:13,061 If she was making the "neh" sound - hunger. 1540 01:01:13,095 --> 01:01:14,997 It's a sucking reflex. Hits the roof of your mouth. 1541 01:01:15,030 --> 01:01:17,365 Oh, how do you know that? 1542 01:01:17,399 --> 01:01:18,867 Oh, I saw it on an Oprah rerun. 1543 01:01:18,901 --> 01:01:20,168 You watch Oprah? 1544 01:01:20,202 --> 01:01:22,237 Hey, what I do during her nap time's my business. 1545 01:01:22,270 --> 01:01:23,538 Don't judge me. 1546 01:01:24,772 --> 01:01:26,441 Shitty diaper. Told ya. 1547 01:01:27,542 --> 01:01:29,211 I really like Oprah. 1548 01:01:34,917 --> 01:01:37,119 [Laughing] Oh, my goodness. 1549 01:01:37,152 --> 01:01:39,254 This is one seriously bouncy baby. 1550 01:01:39,287 --> 01:01:40,722 Hello. How are you? 1551 01:01:40,755 --> 01:01:41,924 Do I get... can I get a little... 1552 01:01:41,957 --> 01:01:45,560 [Stammering] Coming in for... Okay. Hmm? Huh? Hmm? Huh? 1553 01:01:45,593 --> 01:01:46,995 Okay, never mind. 1554 01:01:47,029 --> 01:01:48,863 Oh! 1555 01:01:48,897 --> 01:01:49,864 Ooh. 1556 01:01:49,898 --> 01:01:51,766 I like a little kitchen action here, gorgeous. 1557 01:01:51,799 --> 01:01:53,535 Hi. Hi. 1558 01:01:54,536 --> 01:01:55,403 Mmm carroty. 1559 01:01:55,437 --> 01:01:56,404 I have a plan. 1560 01:01:56,438 --> 01:01:57,505 Okay. 1561 01:01:57,539 --> 01:01:58,573 We're going to have sex. 1562 01:01:58,606 --> 01:01:59,741 Hmm? 1563 01:01:59,774 --> 01:02:00,943 - With that? - Sound good? 1564 01:02:00,976 --> 01:02:02,744 Oh my God. I like this plan. 1565 01:02:02,777 --> 01:02:05,380 Oh, easy. I need some me time first. 1566 01:02:06,648 --> 01:02:08,250 - Okay. - Okay? 1567 01:02:08,283 --> 01:02:09,684 Okay, so you watch Annie. 1568 01:02:09,717 --> 01:02:12,387 If you could finish the dishes and do the laundry 1569 01:02:12,420 --> 01:02:14,589 And then we'll have a go. 1570 01:02:14,622 --> 01:02:17,325 Oh, if you could switch the sheets on the upstairs bed, 1571 01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:19,327 That would be fantastic, actually. 1572 01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:20,595 How about forget it? 1573 01:02:20,628 --> 01:02:21,829 What? 1574 01:02:21,863 --> 01:02:23,165 This is ridiculous. 1575 01:02:23,198 --> 01:02:25,567 What? Well, all those things need to get done. 1576 01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:28,536 Yeah, and I'll do them because I am a member of this family 1577 01:02:28,570 --> 01:02:29,904 And it's my responsibility. 1578 01:02:29,938 --> 01:02:31,573 Not because you're dangling sex in front of me 1579 01:02:31,606 --> 01:02:32,774 Like I'm a frat boy. 1580 01:02:32,807 --> 01:02:34,109 I thought you'd like this idea. 1581 01:02:34,142 --> 01:02:37,445 No! I don't, I don't want thanks-for-changing- the-sheets sex. 1582 01:02:37,479 --> 01:02:39,281 I want to be Goddamn romanced. 1583 01:02:39,314 --> 01:02:40,949 I don't want to feel like I had to earn it. 1584 01:02:40,983 --> 01:02:43,451 Okay, well, well. I need to feel relaxed 1585 01:02:43,485 --> 01:02:45,920 And knowing that those things are getting done 1586 01:02:45,954 --> 01:02:47,455 Makes me feel relaxed 1587 01:02:47,489 --> 01:02:49,524 Well, you know what relaxes me? 1588 01:02:49,557 --> 01:02:51,593 Being intimate with my wife. 1589 01:02:51,626 --> 01:02:56,264 That bond, okay. And it's been a year and I miss it. 1590 01:02:56,298 --> 01:02:57,365 Is that why you paid a professional 1591 01:02:57,399 --> 01:02:58,600 To tell me to have sex with you 1592 01:02:58,633 --> 01:03:00,268 For a hundred days in a row? 1593 01:03:03,205 --> 01:03:05,540 I have been reading online... okay? 1594 01:03:05,573 --> 01:03:09,277 When you breastfeed Annie, it releases a hormone called oxytocin, 1595 01:03:09,311 --> 01:03:12,114 It's basically a love hormone, so you get to feel connected 1596 01:03:12,147 --> 01:03:13,881 To something during that time, okay? 1597 01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:14,916 It's basically, it's like, 1598 01:03:14,949 --> 01:03:17,252 As if you were jerking off all the time. 1599 01:03:17,285 --> 01:03:18,720 Okay? So I get it. 1600 01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:20,922 I get it why you don't need this as much as I need it. 1601 01:03:20,955 --> 01:03:22,257 But I need it. 1602 01:03:22,290 --> 01:03:23,391 Babes... 1603 01:03:23,425 --> 01:03:24,926 You know, you know what? It's me time. Go have me time. 1604 01:03:24,959 --> 01:03:28,196 And I will attend to the never ending cascade of laundry in this house. 1605 01:03:28,230 --> 01:03:29,731 Three people live here. 1606 01:03:29,764 --> 01:03:31,699 Can you explain how we have so much laundry? 1607 01:03:31,733 --> 01:03:33,068 Is Annie running a speak-easy? 1608 01:03:33,101 --> 01:03:34,369 And just other babies come to town 1609 01:03:34,402 --> 01:03:36,104 And they just lose their shirts playing poker? 1610 01:03:36,138 --> 01:03:39,741 Is... are we living on top of an ancient laundromat burial ground? 1611 01:03:39,774 --> 01:03:40,742 Could that be it? 1612 01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:50,352 Ooh. Shit. 1613 01:03:50,385 --> 01:03:51,419 Ahh. 1614 01:03:58,860 --> 01:04:00,128 Hello lover. 1615 01:04:01,696 --> 01:04:04,266 You look fantastic. 1616 01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:06,000 Thank you! 1617 01:04:06,034 --> 01:04:09,171 So... how do we start? 1618 01:04:09,204 --> 01:04:10,872 Well, I thought we could take some cues 1619 01:04:10,905 --> 01:04:12,607 From some of those videos that you watched? 1620 01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,042 Does that mean I get a blow job? 1621 01:04:14,076 --> 01:04:16,044 Sex etiquette. Ladies always come first. Move. 1622 01:04:23,385 --> 01:04:24,486 Okay. 1623 01:04:24,519 --> 01:04:27,955 It's time for a little yoddle oddle oddle oddle ooh. 1624 01:04:27,989 --> 01:04:31,726 And, surprise... 1625 01:04:35,463 --> 01:04:38,533 Uh... hon? 1626 01:04:38,566 --> 01:04:39,901 What, what's going on down there? 1627 01:04:39,934 --> 01:04:42,003 It's called a landing strip. Do you like it? 1628 01:04:42,036 --> 01:04:43,405 It, yeah, it's lovely. 1629 01:04:43,438 --> 01:04:45,507 I had it done in town. 1630 01:04:45,540 --> 01:04:47,742 Wh... what if we run into that person at the market? 1631 01:04:47,775 --> 01:04:49,177 Horton... 1632 01:04:49,211 --> 01:04:50,845 I don't want everybody in town talking about my wife's landing strip. 1633 01:04:50,878 --> 01:04:52,046 Horton, you're over-thinking this. Come on. 1634 01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:53,315 Let's get started. 1635 01:04:54,116 --> 01:04:55,550 - Okay. - Okay. 1636 01:04:55,583 --> 01:04:56,884 What if the kids find out about... 1637 01:04:56,918 --> 01:04:59,554 Oh, for heaven's sakes. What is the matter with you? 1638 01:04:59,587 --> 01:05:02,190 You have an eager, willing, and if I may say so, 1639 01:05:02,224 --> 01:05:04,959 Very sexy older woman lusting after you 1640 01:05:04,992 --> 01:05:08,563 And hoping that you shower her with all your wildest desires, honey. 1641 01:05:10,064 --> 01:05:11,333 - I'm in. - Ah, good! 1642 01:05:11,366 --> 01:05:12,300 - Okay. - Okay. 1643 01:05:13,568 --> 01:05:16,504 [Moaning, giggling] 1644 01:05:16,538 --> 01:05:17,605 That tickles! 1645 01:05:17,639 --> 01:05:19,574 Ooh! Oh wow wow wow wow wow! 1646 01:05:20,908 --> 01:05:22,344 Uh oh! Uh oh. 1647 01:05:22,377 --> 01:05:23,778 What? What what what? 1648 01:05:23,811 --> 01:05:26,548 My contact lens. Oh, it it. Don't, don't move 1649 01:05:26,581 --> 01:05:28,116 - Where is it? - Just hold on for a minute. 1650 01:05:28,150 --> 01:05:30,051 I can find it. Okay, there, ah! 1651 01:05:30,084 --> 01:05:31,453 - Ahh! - What? 1652 01:05:31,486 --> 01:05:32,787 Ohh. Ohh. 1653 01:05:32,820 --> 01:05:34,389 Where... I can't see a damn thing. 1654 01:05:34,422 --> 01:05:36,724 - A flashlight here - Stay there. Stay there. 1655 01:05:36,758 --> 01:05:37,959 - Oh, it's over here. - More to the left. 1656 01:05:37,992 --> 01:05:40,428 - Ooh. Oh honey. - Wait, it keeps moving around. 1657 01:05:40,462 --> 01:05:41,829 I got, I got, I think I got it. 1658 01:05:41,863 --> 01:05:43,231 Oh yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. 1659 01:05:43,265 --> 01:05:44,499 - Yes! Yes! - Yeah yeah yeah. You're there. 1660 01:05:44,532 --> 01:05:45,567 - I got... yes! - You're almost there. 1661 01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:47,335 - I got, I think I... - Whoa! 1662 01:05:47,369 --> 01:05:50,938 Oh, I like where you're going with that, Horton! 1663 01:05:50,972 --> 01:05:53,441 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1664 01:05:53,475 --> 01:05:56,110 Don't stop! Oh, don't stop! I'm almost there! 1665 01:05:56,144 --> 01:05:57,745 Oh, for crying out loud! 1666 01:05:57,779 --> 01:06:00,448 Do you realize how stupid we look? 1667 01:06:00,482 --> 01:06:03,751 I mean, grandfathers don't go poking around for contact lenses 1668 01:06:03,785 --> 01:06:05,553 In grandmother's openings. 1669 01:06:05,587 --> 01:06:08,723 That's how you see me? As a grandmother? 1670 01:06:08,756 --> 01:06:10,692 I am a sexual being, Horton. 1671 01:06:10,725 --> 01:06:12,760 You're a sexual being with varicose veins. 1672 01:06:12,794 --> 01:06:15,763 And you have 50 extra pounds that you're never gonna lose, 1673 01:06:15,797 --> 01:06:17,165 But I still desire you. 1674 01:06:17,199 --> 01:06:19,033 You're the one who came to me complaining about 1675 01:06:19,066 --> 01:06:20,768 Our lack of sex. 1676 01:06:20,802 --> 01:06:22,770 I know. And I should have left just well enough alone. 1677 01:06:22,804 --> 01:06:24,206 But you didn't. 1678 01:06:24,239 --> 01:06:28,510 You opened Dolores' Box and I'm glad. 1679 01:06:28,543 --> 01:06:31,579 I love you, Horton, and I still have my needs. 1680 01:06:31,613 --> 01:06:34,916 The kids are gone and if I do one more fucking puzzle... 1681 01:06:34,949 --> 01:06:36,318 I'm gonna kill somebody. 1682 01:06:38,386 --> 01:06:41,556 Horton, I will not go back to the way it was before. 1683 01:06:44,559 --> 01:06:46,127 It's your call. 1684 01:06:53,868 --> 01:06:55,370 Oh, God... 1685 01:06:59,207 --> 01:07:00,408 Hey, ready? 1686 01:07:00,442 --> 01:07:02,043 For what? 1687 01:07:02,076 --> 01:07:04,912 It's date night. The sitter's downstairs. 1688 01:07:04,946 --> 01:07:07,915 Oh uh, pfft. I'm sorry. I totally forgot. 1689 01:07:07,949 --> 01:07:11,052 Oh... 1690 01:07:11,085 --> 01:07:14,622 Ten minutes? Or eleven? Eleven and a half? 1691 01:07:14,656 --> 01:07:15,823 Sure. 1692 01:07:17,225 --> 01:07:18,893 Awesome. 1693 01:07:35,109 --> 01:07:37,078 Um... oh! 1694 01:07:37,111 --> 01:07:39,247 Fettuccine Alfredo, that sounds good. I'll do that. 1695 01:07:39,281 --> 01:07:40,848 Really? 1696 01:07:40,882 --> 01:07:43,251 You're going to do dairy and starch? 1697 01:07:43,285 --> 01:07:45,253 Um, yeah. So? 1698 01:07:45,287 --> 01:07:48,923 It's just not the most winning of combinations for you. 1699 01:08:01,068 --> 01:08:02,570 You were quiet during dinner. 1700 01:08:02,604 --> 01:08:03,905 Yeah, I guess I was just trying to enjoy 1701 01:08:03,938 --> 01:08:06,408 Every scrumptious morsel of the meal you hand picked for me. 1702 01:08:06,441 --> 01:08:07,742 Okay, next time I'll let you feel bloated... 1703 01:08:07,775 --> 01:08:10,378 - for the whole night. - Thank you. 1704 01:08:10,412 --> 01:08:13,448 - When we go back you can have... - Oh God. It's not about the fucking pasta. 1705 01:08:13,481 --> 01:08:14,616 It's that you don't think I can make 1706 01:08:14,649 --> 01:08:17,452 Even the tiniest of decisions. 1707 01:08:17,485 --> 01:08:18,753 I don't think that. 1708 01:08:18,786 --> 01:08:21,289 Okay, great. Then I get to decide what time 1709 01:08:21,323 --> 01:08:23,291 Our kid takes a nap, or what snack he eats, 1710 01:08:23,325 --> 01:08:24,392 Or what show he watches. 1711 01:08:24,426 --> 01:08:25,760 - Now, that's different. - It isn't! 1712 01:08:25,793 --> 01:08:27,462 Yes, it is. I'm with him more than you are. 1713 01:08:27,495 --> 01:08:29,564 You never have to deal with the fall-out from those kinds of decisions. 1714 01:08:29,597 --> 01:08:32,099 I work from home. I'm there all the time. 1715 01:08:32,133 --> 01:08:34,536 And yet you never are. 1716 01:08:34,569 --> 01:08:37,605 Oh. Okay. You want me to step up and assign roles here? 1717 01:08:37,639 --> 01:08:39,741 - From now on, I'm the "mom". - Why? 1718 01:08:39,774 --> 01:08:41,042 Because I'm the one who had him. 1719 01:08:54,756 --> 01:08:55,923 Wow, you look gorgeous. 1720 01:08:55,957 --> 01:08:57,058 Oh, thanks. 1721 01:08:57,091 --> 01:08:59,361 Um... I, I brought red. 1722 01:08:59,394 --> 01:09:00,428 I hope that's okay. 1723 01:09:00,462 --> 01:09:01,696 Oh, yeah! Yeah. I mean... 1724 01:09:01,729 --> 01:09:03,431 I think I might be an alcoholic, but you know. 1725 01:09:03,465 --> 01:09:04,632 [Nervous laughter] 1726 01:09:04,666 --> 01:09:07,335 Anyway, what's one drink, right? Come in! Come in. Come in. 1727 01:09:07,369 --> 01:09:10,104 Um, I just need a moment, so just make yourself at home. 1728 01:09:10,137 --> 01:09:11,773 - I'll be right back. - Yeah, sure. 1729 01:09:22,884 --> 01:09:24,519 [Whispering] I think I'm going to bunk it up. 1730 01:09:24,552 --> 01:09:26,588 [Whispering] Oh, bollocks. You look great. Just be yourself. 1731 01:09:26,621 --> 01:09:28,089 Oh, no. I can't be myself! 1732 01:09:28,122 --> 01:09:29,924 Every time I'm myself, I mess it up! 1733 01:09:31,092 --> 01:09:32,860 Do you have a little something? 1734 01:09:32,894 --> 01:09:34,328 You know, to take the edge off, like? 1735 01:09:41,803 --> 01:09:44,038 All right, just the smallest amount. 1736 01:09:44,071 --> 01:09:45,239 - Okay. - All right. 1737 01:09:45,272 --> 01:09:46,841 - What is it? - Valium. 1738 01:09:46,874 --> 01:09:49,210 Okay... where did you get it? 1739 01:09:49,243 --> 01:09:51,413 Oh, from a mom in the park. It's for my back. 1740 01:09:51,446 --> 01:09:52,747 Huh? What's wrong with your back? 1741 01:09:52,780 --> 01:09:55,717 Spasms. I was fucking this wild chick and I... 1742 01:09:55,750 --> 01:09:58,185 It helps me get to sleep, all right? 1743 01:09:58,219 --> 01:09:59,120 So you just... 1744 01:09:59,153 --> 01:10:01,456 Do I drug myself to sleep every night? Yes. 1745 01:10:01,489 --> 01:10:03,891 We don't have to tell each other every fucking thing, all right? 1746 01:10:03,925 --> 01:10:05,226 Go down there and have some fun. 1747 01:10:05,259 --> 01:10:06,928 - Just on the table? - Yeah, that'd be great. 1748 01:10:06,961 --> 01:10:07,929 - Yeah, thanks. - Looks delicious. 1749 01:10:07,962 --> 01:10:08,896 Oh, thanks. 1750 01:10:10,398 --> 01:10:11,399 So you like to cook? 1751 01:10:11,433 --> 01:10:13,100 Yeah, well you know, you learn a thing or two 1752 01:10:13,134 --> 01:10:14,502 When all your dates end early. 1753 01:10:14,536 --> 01:10:16,070 - [Nervous laughter] - Heh, you're funny. 1754 01:10:19,974 --> 01:10:21,876 Where's your cutlery? 1755 01:10:21,909 --> 01:10:24,278 Um! It's in the glass. 1756 01:10:24,311 --> 01:10:26,448 I-I mean it's here! It's right here. 1757 01:10:26,481 --> 01:10:27,882 Oh, great. 1758 01:10:27,915 --> 01:10:28,716 Oh, no no no. I can do that. It's, it's... 1759 01:10:28,750 --> 01:10:30,485 I already got it. 1760 01:10:33,988 --> 01:10:34,989 Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. 1761 01:10:37,124 --> 01:10:38,460 Okay! Okay. 1762 01:10:44,398 --> 01:10:47,368 I am having a lovely time. 1763 01:10:47,401 --> 01:10:49,403 I just want to thank you, you know? 1764 01:10:49,437 --> 01:10:51,906 I-I feel really good around you. 1765 01:10:51,939 --> 01:10:54,041 [Chuckles] 1766 01:10:58,045 --> 01:10:59,581 Sorry, I just snotted a little. 1767 01:10:59,614 --> 01:11:00,915 Oh, great. Yeah. 1768 01:11:00,948 --> 01:11:02,116 But you know, I'm serious. 1769 01:11:02,149 --> 01:11:06,688 I-I don't know what it is. I trust you, you know? 1770 01:11:06,721 --> 01:11:08,723 Okay. Fuck it. I'm gonna go for full disclosure here. 1771 01:11:08,756 --> 01:11:11,693 I have... I have dated a lot of women. 1772 01:11:11,726 --> 01:11:12,860 That's nice, yeah. 1773 01:11:12,894 --> 01:11:14,195 No, it doesn't. It sucks. 1774 01:11:14,228 --> 01:11:16,464 Too many is too many. 1775 01:11:16,498 --> 01:11:19,333 I, I always find something wrong with them, 1776 01:11:19,366 --> 01:11:20,868 That's the thing, you know, and for a long time, 1777 01:11:20,902 --> 01:11:22,904 I thought it was them, but it's not. It's me. 1778 01:11:22,937 --> 01:11:24,506 I'm always finding something wrong with them because 1779 01:11:24,539 --> 01:11:25,907 There's something wrong with me. 1780 01:11:25,940 --> 01:11:28,009 I'm a self saboteur, you know? 1781 01:11:28,042 --> 01:11:29,844 I, I choose women who are impossible. 1782 01:11:29,877 --> 01:11:31,746 They're too young, they're too crazy, they're too busy, 1783 01:11:31,779 --> 01:11:32,847 They don't like kids, they don't like me, 1784 01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:33,815 Like, what the fuck? 1785 01:11:35,282 --> 01:11:36,718 Anyway... 1786 01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:38,219 What was I talking about? Right... 1787 01:11:39,487 --> 01:11:41,523 Everybody makes mistakes. 1788 01:11:41,556 --> 01:11:43,024 I make mistakes all the time. 1789 01:11:43,057 --> 01:11:45,192 I've fucked up a marriage. 1790 01:11:45,226 --> 01:11:47,361 I'm probably fucking up my kid right now. 1791 01:11:47,394 --> 01:11:48,429 No, I am not. 1792 01:11:48,462 --> 01:11:49,564 [Knocks on table] 1793 01:11:49,597 --> 01:11:51,465 I'm not fucking up my kid. I will not fuck up my kid. 1794 01:11:51,499 --> 01:11:52,767 Okay. 1795 01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:55,503 No, sorry. I usually don't babble like this 1796 01:11:55,537 --> 01:11:56,771 Until, like, my fourth drink. 1797 01:11:57,539 --> 01:11:59,040 Uh... 1798 01:11:59,073 --> 01:12:00,274 What I wanted to say was, 1799 01:12:00,307 --> 01:12:02,376 When I'm with you I just... I feel like I'm in a safe place. 1800 01:12:02,409 --> 01:12:03,645 I think I might have drugged you. 1801 01:12:05,446 --> 01:12:06,413 [Laughs] 1802 01:12:06,447 --> 01:12:07,682 I mean, nothing really serious. 1803 01:12:07,715 --> 01:12:10,552 But just sort of an inappropriate amount of Valium. 1804 01:12:10,585 --> 01:12:12,520 No, no, no. Pl-please don't do that. 1805 01:12:12,554 --> 01:12:15,089 Please, I, I really, I really think you should lie down. 1806 01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:16,591 I think you're going to pass out. 1807 01:12:17,825 --> 01:12:19,260 Why would you drug me? 1808 01:12:19,293 --> 01:12:20,261 Well, it just wasn't meant for you. 1809 01:12:20,294 --> 01:12:21,963 It was sort of meant for me. 1810 01:12:23,497 --> 01:12:24,566 Why would you drug you? 1811 01:12:24,599 --> 01:12:26,367 Well, I just thought it would be easier, you know? 1812 01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:28,202 To what? 1813 01:12:28,235 --> 01:12:30,437 Tonight. You know, the whole night would be easier. 1814 01:12:30,471 --> 01:12:33,107 I mean, I realize in retrospect that was poorly thought through, but I just... 1815 01:12:33,140 --> 01:12:35,409 Holy shit. You're fucking serious. 1816 01:12:35,442 --> 01:12:36,377 Yeah... 1817 01:12:37,645 --> 01:12:39,380 What did you give me? 1818 01:12:39,413 --> 01:12:41,282 Oh, no no no no no. 1819 01:12:41,315 --> 01:12:42,416 Oh, please don't leave! 1820 01:12:42,449 --> 01:12:44,586 Stay! I'm having a really lovely time. Please stay. 1821 01:12:44,619 --> 01:12:47,421 Stay for what? What, do you got Rohypnol pudding for dessert? 1822 01:12:47,454 --> 01:12:49,557 Oh, God. You know, it was just a stupid mistake. 1823 01:12:49,591 --> 01:12:52,594 And, and you just said mistakes were all right! 1824 01:12:52,627 --> 01:12:53,460 I don't feel so good. 1825 01:12:53,494 --> 01:12:55,096 Okay. All right. Why don't you sit down? 1826 01:12:55,129 --> 01:12:57,565 Hmm? Let's sit down, shall we? Yeah? 1827 01:12:57,599 --> 01:12:58,966 Could I get you a drink, maybe? 1828 01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:01,235 I mean, not the same drink. A completely different drink. 1829 01:13:03,705 --> 01:13:05,506 Why did you do this to me? 1830 01:13:05,539 --> 01:13:07,174 Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 1831 01:13:07,208 --> 01:13:09,210 I'm just really lonely and horny, you know? 1832 01:13:09,243 --> 01:13:11,512 I can't really believe I just said that out loud, 1833 01:13:11,545 --> 01:13:12,580 But I am, you know? 1834 01:13:12,614 --> 01:13:13,781 I don't really know what I'm doing. 1835 01:13:13,815 --> 01:13:15,016 I'm not a very good mother. 1836 01:13:15,049 --> 01:13:17,719 My kid cries herself to sleep most nights, you know, 1837 01:13:17,752 --> 01:13:19,621 But I love her. You know, I do love her. 1838 01:13:19,654 --> 01:13:22,389 I try really hard, but it's all shit, isn't it? 1839 01:13:22,423 --> 01:13:25,126 You know, cause you do your best and nobody cares. 1840 01:13:25,159 --> 01:13:27,929 And I don't want some man to just come and sweep me off my feet, you know. 1841 01:13:27,962 --> 01:13:28,930 That's not what I'm looking for. 1842 01:13:28,963 --> 01:13:30,197 And I'm not looking for someone 1843 01:13:30,231 --> 01:13:32,967 To just come and hop in and out of bed with me either, you know? 1844 01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:35,770 I just want to know someone can stand to be around me, you know, 1845 01:13:35,803 --> 01:13:40,107 The me that I am when I'm not trying to be the me that I think everyone wants me to be... 1846 01:13:40,141 --> 01:13:42,810 Do you know what I mean? 1847 01:13:44,478 --> 01:13:47,214 Fuck! Oh, come on! Wake up! 1848 01:13:48,549 --> 01:13:49,784 Okay... come on... 1849 01:13:49,817 --> 01:13:54,388 Oh, yeah. Hi, hi. Is, is Marcy there, please? 1850 01:13:54,421 --> 01:13:57,058 Oh, I really do need to speak to Marcy. 1851 01:13:58,125 --> 01:14:00,895 Okay. Um, right. 1852 01:14:00,928 --> 01:14:03,564 Well, my friend and I having a little debate and, um, 1853 01:14:03,597 --> 01:14:05,532 I thought maybe I could ask you that if, um, 1854 01:14:05,566 --> 01:14:08,235 If I tell you something sort of, say, dodgy... 1855 01:14:08,269 --> 01:14:10,104 Do you have to call the police 1856 01:14:10,137 --> 01:14:13,841 Or do we have some sort of doctor/patient thing on the go? 1857 01:14:13,875 --> 01:14:16,110 Oh you do. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought. 1858 01:14:16,143 --> 01:14:19,180 So that's what I'll tell her. Okay. That's great. Thanks. 1859 01:14:19,213 --> 01:14:21,182 Oh, you've been great. Okay. Bye! 1860 01:14:21,215 --> 01:14:22,416 Fuck! 1861 01:14:22,449 --> 01:14:25,586 Oh, God. Why do you have to be so big? 1862 01:14:27,288 --> 01:14:29,090 Harder! 1863 01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:31,926 Harder? 1864 01:14:33,661 --> 01:14:35,797 I just need you to help me with him. 1865 01:14:35,830 --> 01:14:39,233 I'm not sure I can be a part of this, I'm an illegal. 1866 01:14:39,266 --> 01:14:40,534 It's partially your fault. 1867 01:14:40,567 --> 01:14:42,737 You're the one who had the Valium. 1868 01:14:42,770 --> 01:14:44,672 Are you being serious right now? 1869 01:14:44,706 --> 01:14:45,740 Oh... 1870 01:14:45,773 --> 01:14:47,775 Pey, we can't just leave him here. 1871 01:14:47,809 --> 01:14:49,744 So, deal with it. 1872 01:14:49,777 --> 01:14:51,412 But, I can't. 1873 01:14:51,445 --> 01:14:52,747 Yes, you can. 1874 01:14:52,780 --> 01:14:53,781 Look. 1875 01:14:53,815 --> 01:14:56,017 You're a smart capable woman. 1876 01:14:56,050 --> 01:14:57,719 You just do stupid things 1877 01:14:57,752 --> 01:14:59,186 Because you don't think you're good enough. 1878 01:14:59,220 --> 01:15:00,955 It's embarrassing. 1879 01:15:00,988 --> 01:15:02,256 Oh, I'm embarrassing? 1880 01:15:02,289 --> 01:15:03,891 You're the one who's illegally in the country 1881 01:15:03,925 --> 01:15:06,894 Cause you've pissed away every friend and penny you ever had. 1882 01:15:06,928 --> 01:15:08,963 You're a loser too, Peyton. We both are. 1883 01:15:08,996 --> 01:15:11,432 Hey, don't talk to me like mom and dad did, all right? 1884 01:15:11,465 --> 01:15:12,533 We're better than that. 1885 01:15:12,566 --> 01:15:13,600 Oh, yeah. This from a guy who googles 1886 01:15:15,269 --> 01:15:16,170 How to take care of a baby on the internet. 1887 01:15:16,203 --> 01:15:17,772 Yeah, well at least I'm doing something. 1888 01:15:17,805 --> 01:15:19,774 I mean, you can barely touch her half the time. 1889 01:15:21,408 --> 01:15:22,609 That's not true! 1890 01:15:24,611 --> 01:15:26,613 I'm just so afraid I'll mess her up, Pey. 1891 01:15:26,647 --> 01:15:29,083 Look. We had shitty parents. 1892 01:15:29,116 --> 01:15:30,551 They didn't give a fuck about us. 1893 01:15:30,584 --> 01:15:31,618 So what? 1894 01:15:32,887 --> 01:15:34,221 You turned out great. 1895 01:15:34,255 --> 01:15:36,390 Don't you know that? 1896 01:15:36,423 --> 01:15:39,894 No. Nobody's ever told me that. 1897 01:15:40,962 --> 01:15:42,463 You see, that's just it. 1898 01:15:42,496 --> 01:15:44,598 You don't have to be told how good you are, 1899 01:15:44,631 --> 01:15:46,233 You just need to know it. 1900 01:15:46,267 --> 01:15:47,534 You see that girl upstairs? 1901 01:15:47,568 --> 01:15:51,105 She doesn't know that we don't know what the fuck we're doing. 1902 01:15:51,138 --> 01:15:53,274 But she can have it better than we did. 1903 01:15:53,307 --> 01:15:54,641 We can do that for her. 1904 01:15:56,077 --> 01:15:59,080 And besides. I just told you. 1905 01:16:11,058 --> 01:16:12,293 Ohh. 1906 01:16:13,761 --> 01:16:14,962 Lou? 1907 01:16:27,608 --> 01:16:31,078 "I'm really, really sorry I drugged you." 1908 01:16:32,379 --> 01:16:33,915 Well, that's nice. 1909 01:16:56,570 --> 01:17:00,074 ♪ What do you do 1910 01:17:00,107 --> 01:17:04,378 ♪ With a sky so blue? 1911 01:17:05,746 --> 01:17:08,850 ♪ Fields all a green 1912 01:17:08,883 --> 01:17:15,389 ♪ Where the stream runs through... 1913 01:17:15,422 --> 01:17:18,059 I met someone who's really nice at work, but... 1914 01:17:18,092 --> 01:17:24,631 ♪ If it all flew away 1915 01:17:24,665 --> 01:17:30,304 ♪ And the sky turned to Grey... 1916 01:17:32,039 --> 01:17:36,343 ♪ I'd stay 1917 01:17:36,377 --> 01:17:39,613 ♪ How do you hold 1918 01:17:39,646 --> 01:17:44,952 ♪ all the sun's great gold 1919 01:17:44,986 --> 01:17:48,555 ♪ Fields all a green 1920 01:17:48,589 --> 01:17:54,028 ♪ Where the stream unfolds 1921 01:17:54,061 --> 01:18:00,567 ♪ If it all flew away 1922 01:18:02,836 --> 01:18:09,443 ♪ and the sky turned to Grey 1923 01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:14,882 ♪ I'd stay 1924 01:18:14,916 --> 01:18:16,918 I completely understand why you felt 1925 01:18:16,951 --> 01:18:20,087 The daddy comments were inappropriate... thank you. 1926 01:18:20,121 --> 01:18:23,224 And I can categorically assure you that it won't happen again. 1927 01:18:23,257 --> 01:18:26,460 I think delving into it any further would be excessive, 1928 01:18:26,493 --> 01:18:28,695 Though if you need anything more from me by way of apology 1929 01:18:28,729 --> 01:18:31,398 I would be happy to proved that. 1930 01:18:31,432 --> 01:18:34,201 Pressing on, I'm delighted that you called me 1931 01:18:34,235 --> 01:18:35,169 And that we've reconnected... 1932 01:18:37,438 --> 01:18:44,045 ♪ If all words fell away 1933 01:18:44,078 --> 01:18:50,451 ♪ And there was no way to say 1934 01:18:52,119 --> 01:18:56,290 ♪ I'd stay 1935 01:18:56,323 --> 01:18:59,593 ♪ With you 1936 01:18:59,626 --> 01:19:01,628 ♪ So you'd see 1937 01:19:01,662 --> 01:19:07,034 ♪ Oh, how strong Oh, how true 1938 01:19:07,068 --> 01:19:09,070 [Baby crying] 1939 01:19:09,103 --> 01:19:14,641 ♪ Is my love, love, love 1940 01:19:16,443 --> 01:19:18,845 ♪ For... 1941 01:19:18,879 --> 01:19:20,714 ♪ You... 1942 01:19:20,747 --> 01:19:21,882 Do you need some help? 1943 01:19:25,119 --> 01:19:26,420 I'm all right. 1944 01:19:26,453 --> 01:19:29,223 Besides, you're busy. 1945 01:19:29,256 --> 01:19:31,092 You're just passing through. 1946 01:19:32,994 --> 01:19:35,029 Well... 1947 01:19:35,062 --> 01:19:36,930 What if I said I wasn't? 1948 01:19:40,167 --> 01:19:42,469 I need to be able to do this. 1949 01:19:47,908 --> 01:19:49,676 Okay. 1950 01:19:49,710 --> 01:19:51,078 [Baby crying] 1951 01:19:51,112 --> 01:19:53,114 Let's have a song, shall we? 1952 01:19:55,716 --> 01:19:59,720 [Lou humming melody] 1953 01:20:13,167 --> 01:20:14,601 Hi there, Mr. Anti-Social. 1954 01:20:15,469 --> 01:20:17,004 Hi, kiddo. 1955 01:20:19,406 --> 01:20:20,574 You didn't have any dessert. 1956 01:20:20,607 --> 01:20:22,309 I'm, I wasn't hungry. 1957 01:20:24,978 --> 01:20:27,181 So, you, you enjoying the big city? 1958 01:20:27,214 --> 01:20:30,051 Yes. So much more my speed. 1959 01:20:30,084 --> 01:20:32,053 Yeah, it's pretty slow around here, huh? 1960 01:20:32,086 --> 01:20:34,421 Well, no. It's just an acquired taste. 1961 01:20:36,890 --> 01:20:39,126 So are you gonna tell me what you're all whiny about? 1962 01:20:39,160 --> 01:20:41,562 Everything's fine. 1963 01:20:41,595 --> 01:20:43,964 Is it, like, a mid-life crisis thing or... 1964 01:20:43,997 --> 01:20:45,699 No, it's nothing like that. 1965 01:20:45,732 --> 01:20:46,800 - Are you sure? - Yes. 1966 01:20:46,833 --> 01:20:49,270 Because mom shaved her pussy. 1967 01:20:49,303 --> 01:20:52,073 What! Is she like showing everybody? 1968 01:20:52,106 --> 01:20:55,109 Ew, gross. No. She didn't like show me it. 1969 01:20:55,142 --> 01:20:58,212 She just asked me where I got mine done and so I told her. 1970 01:20:58,245 --> 01:21:01,282 [Stammering] Okay. That's enough. I don't need to hear any of this. 1971 01:21:01,315 --> 01:21:02,216 I'm the father! 1972 01:21:04,285 --> 01:21:06,687 I know that you're my father... 1973 01:21:06,720 --> 01:21:08,755 But you don't need to be my daddy anymore. 1974 01:21:10,757 --> 01:21:12,593 Look, like I moved out, so... 1975 01:21:12,626 --> 01:21:16,530 Don't you think that it's time for our relationship to... 1976 01:21:16,563 --> 01:21:19,566 I don't know... mature? 1977 01:21:19,600 --> 01:21:22,136 We can talk about grown-up stuff now. 1978 01:21:22,169 --> 01:21:26,006 Is that like, so crazy for you? That we're grown-ups now? 1979 01:21:28,409 --> 01:21:29,710 No... 1980 01:21:29,743 --> 01:21:32,279 I remember when you guys were little and the three of you 1981 01:21:32,313 --> 01:21:33,880 Were out playing in the yard one day 1982 01:21:33,914 --> 01:21:35,282 And I actually asked myself, 1983 01:21:35,316 --> 01:21:38,752 "Whose kids are those? Cause they can't be mine!" 1984 01:21:39,986 --> 01:21:41,488 Dad, you were the best. 1985 01:21:43,657 --> 01:21:46,360 At the time, I just thought that I would never get used to it. 1986 01:21:46,393 --> 01:21:50,997 But now... now... 1987 01:21:53,634 --> 01:21:54,735 Now I'm stuck. 1988 01:21:54,768 --> 01:21:55,769 Aw. 1989 01:21:58,772 --> 01:22:00,707 Your mother wants to have anal sex. 1990 01:22:00,741 --> 01:22:02,109 Oh, my God! Dad! 1991 01:22:02,143 --> 01:22:03,377 Well, what do I do? 1992 01:22:03,410 --> 01:22:04,745 Anal? I don't know! 1993 01:22:04,778 --> 01:22:05,746 Well, should I do it? 1994 01:22:05,779 --> 01:22:07,047 Jesus Chri... Dad, no! I... I cannot have... 1995 01:22:07,080 --> 01:22:08,515 I can't have this conversation with you. That's... 1996 01:22:08,549 --> 01:22:12,085 Sweetie, please! I need you. 1997 01:22:12,119 --> 01:22:16,223 I mean, what can I do? This is too much for me. 1998 01:22:18,425 --> 01:22:19,926 Okay... 1999 01:22:20,961 --> 01:22:22,896 Okay, well just... 2000 01:22:22,929 --> 01:22:24,531 Keep an open mind... 2001 01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:26,066 So you're saying I should? 2002 01:22:26,099 --> 01:22:27,734 Oh, my God. I don't know! 2003 01:22:27,768 --> 01:22:29,836 I'm not like giving you my stamp of approval, I just... 2004 01:22:31,772 --> 01:22:33,940 Um, just, you should do what you have to do, 2005 01:22:33,974 --> 01:22:36,777 And then we should never talk about it ever again. 2006 01:22:36,810 --> 01:22:38,445 Okay. 2007 01:22:39,913 --> 01:22:41,748 Okay... 2008 01:22:41,782 --> 01:22:43,417 Well, should I get some lubricant? 2009 01:22:43,450 --> 01:22:45,486 God, daddy. I can't. 2010 01:22:59,266 --> 01:23:01,568 Did she leave without saying goodbye? 2011 01:23:03,103 --> 01:23:05,506 [Gasps] Oh, God! Horton! 2012 01:23:06,640 --> 01:23:07,774 Why are you naked? 2013 01:23:07,808 --> 01:23:09,976 Because I can be. 2014 01:23:10,010 --> 01:23:12,246 You scared the hell out of me. 2015 01:23:12,279 --> 01:23:13,614 Shut up. 2016 01:23:14,281 --> 01:23:15,849 Excuse me. 2017 01:23:15,882 --> 01:23:17,484 Let's fuck. 2018 01:23:18,252 --> 01:23:19,420 Now? 2019 01:23:19,453 --> 01:23:21,922 Yeah. Now. Right here. 2020 01:23:21,955 --> 01:23:24,225 On the floor. 2021 01:23:24,258 --> 01:23:26,193 Because we can. 2022 01:23:26,227 --> 01:23:28,094 That's our new mantra. 2023 01:23:28,128 --> 01:23:32,098 We are going to do everything we want to do. 2024 01:23:32,132 --> 01:23:35,936 Because we can. 2025 01:23:35,969 --> 01:23:40,441 Well, I love the sounds of that. 2026 01:23:42,576 --> 01:23:45,912 What are your thoughts on butt plugs? 2027 01:23:45,946 --> 01:23:49,383 Um... Can we start slow? 2028 01:23:49,416 --> 01:23:51,418 Yes, we can. 2029 01:23:51,452 --> 01:23:53,820 [Chuckles] 2030 01:24:11,438 --> 01:24:12,406 He's asleep? 2031 01:24:13,240 --> 01:24:14,140 Mhmm. 2032 01:24:33,427 --> 01:24:34,895 What I said the other night... 2033 01:24:34,928 --> 01:24:37,431 No, it's fine. It's true. 2034 01:24:37,464 --> 01:24:39,032 Oh, don't make me hate myself. 2035 01:24:39,065 --> 01:24:40,401 Believe it or not, I can't control 2036 01:24:40,434 --> 01:24:41,402 How you feel about yourself. 2037 01:24:48,775 --> 01:24:50,176 Hit me back. 2038 01:24:51,345 --> 01:24:52,346 No. 2039 01:24:55,449 --> 01:24:57,784 [Sobbing] 2040 01:25:02,088 --> 01:25:03,757 You're his mother just as much as I am. 2041 01:25:03,790 --> 01:25:04,858 I'm a glorified aunt. 2042 01:25:04,891 --> 01:25:06,893 - Oh, stop it. That's not true. - Yes, it is. 2043 01:25:06,927 --> 01:25:08,094 - No, it's not. - Yes, it is! 2044 01:25:10,397 --> 01:25:13,266 Wow. Are we even now? 2045 01:25:13,300 --> 01:25:14,868 No. No we're not. 2046 01:25:14,901 --> 01:25:15,902 Cause I can never be what you are. 2047 01:25:15,936 --> 01:25:16,770 I can never feel what you felt, 2048 01:25:16,803 --> 01:25:19,606 And I fucking resent you for it. 2049 01:25:19,640 --> 01:25:21,141 Do you feel better now? 2050 01:25:24,010 --> 01:25:25,412 You're an amazing mother. 2051 01:25:25,446 --> 01:25:27,213 Fuck you, I'm not! 2052 01:25:27,247 --> 01:25:29,115 I'm a control freak and you know what the worst part of it is? 2053 01:25:29,149 --> 01:25:31,685 I feel like I have to be because if I'm not, if I'm not a control freak, 2054 01:25:31,718 --> 01:25:32,953 Then who the hell am I to both of you? 2055 01:25:32,986 --> 01:25:34,287 And what if you realize that you've made a mistake, 2056 01:25:34,321 --> 01:25:36,390 What if you realize that you... 2057 01:25:37,324 --> 01:25:39,760 That you don't need me. 2058 01:25:39,793 --> 01:25:41,562 Oh, you don't honestly believe that? 2059 01:25:42,563 --> 01:25:44,865 Yeah... 2060 01:25:44,898 --> 01:25:47,434 I do, actually. 2061 01:25:47,468 --> 01:25:51,472 You... you nurture and, and stimulate him. 2062 01:25:53,173 --> 01:25:55,208 So you couldn't carry him? 2063 01:25:55,241 --> 01:25:56,443 So fucking what? 2064 01:25:56,477 --> 01:25:58,712 I mean, God, I don't know if you remember this 2065 01:25:58,745 --> 01:26:00,714 But I was a fucking nightmare the entire time 2066 01:26:00,747 --> 01:26:02,883 And I resented the shit out of you because you couldn't do it. 2067 01:26:05,752 --> 01:26:07,087 I'm a mom because of DNA. 2068 01:26:07,120 --> 01:26:10,724 You're a mom because that's who you are. 2069 01:26:12,759 --> 01:26:13,794 You said to me the other night 2070 01:26:13,827 --> 01:26:15,696 That, that I haven't been there for him... 2071 01:26:15,729 --> 01:26:17,464 No, I'm sorry. That's not true. 2072 01:26:17,498 --> 01:26:19,132 I know. 2073 01:26:19,165 --> 01:26:25,372 It's you that I haven't been there for. 2074 01:26:25,406 --> 01:26:26,306 How you doing? 2075 01:26:31,244 --> 01:26:33,079 I'm great. 2076 01:26:37,551 --> 01:26:39,886 Mommy, mommy, mommy. 2077 01:26:39,920 --> 01:26:41,755 I'm on it. 2078 01:26:41,788 --> 01:26:43,490 Mommy, where are you? 2079 01:26:47,661 --> 01:26:49,496 Mommy, mommy, mommy! 2080 01:27:24,631 --> 01:27:25,966 [Dryer beeps] 2081 01:27:25,999 --> 01:27:27,934 [Dryer rumbles] 2082 01:27:27,968 --> 01:27:29,069 Oh, yeah. 2083 01:27:30,270 --> 01:27:32,238 Oh, yeah... 2084 01:27:32,272 --> 01:27:35,976 [Moaning] 2085 01:27:41,448 --> 01:27:43,149 [Doorbell] 2086 01:27:52,392 --> 01:27:54,394 - Hey. - Hey. 2087 01:27:56,463 --> 01:27:59,032 I'm sorry... Oh, do we have Mom's Group? 2088 01:27:59,065 --> 01:28:03,436 No, no. I just, um, I forgot my sippy cup last time. 2089 01:28:03,470 --> 01:28:04,437 Oh, right. 2090 01:28:04,471 --> 01:28:05,539 Is now a bad time, or... 2091 01:28:05,572 --> 01:28:09,409 No, no. I was, um, just getting my laundry on. 2092 01:28:10,777 --> 01:28:12,412 [Breathes heavily] 2093 01:28:25,425 --> 01:28:26,893 Sweet enough? 2094 01:28:29,262 --> 01:28:31,965 You never told me what you thought about my pictures. 2095 01:28:31,998 --> 01:28:35,435 Oh, you know, I think the, the busboys might have taken them. 2096 01:28:35,468 --> 01:28:36,302 I couldn't find them. 2097 01:28:36,336 --> 01:28:37,638 No, they didn't. They have their own. 2098 01:28:38,672 --> 01:28:39,640 Of course they do. 2099 01:28:39,673 --> 01:28:41,307 You look like you need a hug. 2100 01:28:41,341 --> 01:28:44,010 - No, I'm okay. That's... that... - Just, just, just a little one. 2101 01:28:45,746 --> 01:28:46,680 There, is that better? 2102 01:28:49,282 --> 01:28:52,318 So how's stuff at home? Is it just, like, crazy with the kid? 2103 01:28:54,287 --> 01:28:57,624 Oh, yeah. Things at home are pretty crazy, yeah. 2104 01:28:57,658 --> 01:28:59,593 Both my siblings, they have toddlers running around 2105 01:28:59,626 --> 01:29:03,396 And I just don't know how they find time to fuck, you know what I mean? 2106 01:29:05,265 --> 01:29:07,534 Well, there's more important things in the world... 2107 01:29:07,568 --> 01:29:11,104 Huh uh. I am not gonna let my kid mess with my love life. 2108 01:29:11,137 --> 01:29:14,307 That's for fuckin' sure. 2109 01:29:14,340 --> 01:29:16,677 Yeah, well you say that now, but you don't know. 2110 01:29:18,812 --> 01:29:20,814 No, when my kid is sucking on their soother, 2111 01:29:22,148 --> 01:29:23,049 I'm going to be sucking... 2112 01:29:23,083 --> 01:29:24,284 Okay. 2113 01:29:25,385 --> 01:29:26,653 Hi. 2114 01:29:28,755 --> 01:29:29,723 This is not okay. 2115 01:29:29,756 --> 01:29:32,192 Why? Why, we're just talking? 2116 01:29:32,225 --> 01:29:33,259 This is not talking. 2117 01:29:33,293 --> 01:29:35,896 Yes it is. It's body language. 2118 01:29:39,900 --> 01:29:41,467 You smell really nice. 2119 01:29:43,236 --> 01:29:44,738 I taste nice too. 2120 01:29:47,674 --> 01:29:50,877 It's okay. It's okay, just relax. 2121 01:29:50,911 --> 01:29:52,613 Just do whatever you want. 2122 01:30:11,331 --> 01:30:13,667 [Breathing heavily] 2123 01:30:16,002 --> 01:30:17,638 What am I doing? 2124 01:30:17,671 --> 01:30:19,439 I'm not even close to my house. 2125 01:30:24,410 --> 01:30:26,246 Hey... okay. 2126 01:30:27,648 --> 01:30:29,750 So, let me get this straight. 2127 01:30:29,783 --> 01:30:30,851 She drugged you? 2128 01:30:30,884 --> 01:30:33,920 You know, it sounds worse than it was. 2129 01:30:33,954 --> 01:30:36,122 Oh, my gosh. She knows where I live. 2130 01:30:36,156 --> 01:30:37,423 I let her around my kid! 2131 01:30:37,457 --> 01:30:39,292 No, you can't tell her I told you. 2132 01:30:39,325 --> 01:30:41,561 Look, it was... I'm sure it was an accident. 2133 01:30:41,594 --> 01:30:43,764 What does it matter? You're not going to see her again. 2134 01:30:46,066 --> 01:30:49,102 Tell me you're not going to see her again. 2135 01:30:50,136 --> 01:30:52,072 Look, she's kind of awesome. 2136 01:30:52,105 --> 01:30:54,107 So she's messed up. Who isn't, right? 2137 01:30:54,140 --> 01:30:57,811 Oh, my God. You can't possibly be this hard up for sex. 2138 01:30:57,844 --> 01:31:00,113 No. Sex is easy. You can get it anywhere, it's... 2139 01:31:00,146 --> 01:31:02,215 Maybe you can get it anywhere. 2140 01:31:02,248 --> 01:31:03,583 So can you. 2141 01:31:07,087 --> 01:31:09,389 [Baby crying on monitor] 2142 01:31:09,422 --> 01:31:11,391 Oh, I'll be back. 2143 01:31:25,438 --> 01:31:26,940 Hey, you. 2144 01:31:36,482 --> 01:31:37,884 - Hey. - Hey. 2145 01:31:37,918 --> 01:31:39,285 She's back down. 2146 01:31:39,319 --> 01:31:41,021 All right, good. 2147 01:31:41,054 --> 01:31:41,788 [Dryer rumbling] 2148 01:31:41,822 --> 01:31:43,423 What's that? 2149 01:31:43,456 --> 01:31:46,159 Oh, uh. I heard your laundry ding, so I switched it for you. 2150 01:31:48,161 --> 01:31:49,930 I hope that's not... 2151 01:32:03,243 --> 01:32:04,477 Honey? 2152 01:32:08,014 --> 01:32:10,083 What's wrong? 2153 01:32:10,116 --> 01:32:12,685 We have to talk. 2154 01:32:12,719 --> 01:32:16,422 It's much easier to fantasize about someone 2155 01:32:16,456 --> 01:32:18,358 You're not angry with for missing supper 2156 01:32:18,391 --> 01:32:20,360 Or leaving wet towels on the floor. 2157 01:32:20,393 --> 01:32:22,528 Someone who is sexually available 2158 01:32:22,562 --> 01:32:25,565 When your partner's not. 2159 01:32:25,598 --> 01:32:27,801 When the excitement goes out of your relationship, 2160 01:32:27,834 --> 01:32:32,205 You can't help but want it back in some form. 2161 01:32:32,238 --> 01:32:37,277 You can talk it out, but that's... that's hard work. 2162 01:32:37,310 --> 01:32:42,548 You have to say, out loud, things that are uncomfortable and honest. 2163 01:32:42,582 --> 01:32:45,318 It's so much easier to check out and find something new 2164 01:32:45,351 --> 01:32:47,153 And exciting along the way. 2165 01:32:49,089 --> 01:32:54,460 But, the fact that you're here is good. 2166 01:32:54,494 --> 01:32:56,229 The fact that you're talking is good. 2167 01:32:56,262 --> 01:33:02,235 This is a place where most couples don't even attempt to get to. 2168 01:33:02,268 --> 01:33:04,570 That's not something that's going to be solved over night. 2169 01:33:04,604 --> 01:33:07,207 This is the first step. 2170 01:33:07,240 --> 01:33:09,843 But if you don't, if you don't take that step... 2171 01:33:11,577 --> 01:33:13,780 You're not going anywhere. 2172 01:33:27,293 --> 01:33:28,895 Okay! 2173 01:33:28,929 --> 01:33:31,331 Where'd ya' go, sexy? 2174 01:33:33,800 --> 01:33:35,969 Right here... oh! 2175 01:33:41,641 --> 01:33:48,414 Hi, honey. 2176 01:33:48,448 --> 01:33:50,083 I didn't know you and Oops would be home. 2177 01:33:50,116 --> 01:33:51,017 Oh, fuck! I'm sorry! 2178 01:33:51,051 --> 01:33:53,086 Well, you know what? Next time write... 2179 01:33:53,119 --> 01:33:54,220 "Screwing a fucking whore" 2180 01:33:54,254 --> 01:33:55,856 On the calendar beside the fridge. 2181 01:33:55,889 --> 01:33:56,957 I am sorry. I... 2182 01:33:56,990 --> 01:33:58,458 And you know another thing? Stop calling him Oops. 2183 01:33:58,491 --> 01:34:01,294 I hate it when you call him Oops. 2184 01:34:01,327 --> 01:34:03,396 Okay. Okay. I promise I will never call him that again. 2185 01:34:03,429 --> 01:34:04,530 Oh, it doesn't even matter, Sean, 2186 01:34:04,564 --> 01:34:06,432 Because you're never gonna see him again. 2187 01:34:06,466 --> 01:34:08,201 Oh, don't be ridiculous. 2188 01:34:08,234 --> 01:34:09,235 I'm being ridiculous? 2189 01:34:09,269 --> 01:34:11,071 - I'm being ridiculous? - Yes. 2190 01:34:11,104 --> 01:34:13,739 Who is the one who was having a mid-life crisis on the same bed 2191 01:34:13,773 --> 01:34:15,641 Where his son was conceived? 2192 01:34:17,510 --> 01:34:19,512 This transition has been big. 2193 01:34:19,545 --> 01:34:21,614 Look at the big picture here, right. 2194 01:34:21,647 --> 01:34:22,916 Look at it, think about it. 2195 01:34:22,949 --> 01:34:24,951 You can't tell me that you were over the moon 2196 01:34:24,985 --> 01:34:26,819 About everything that you had to give up 2197 01:34:26,853 --> 01:34:28,621 That meant something to you because of some kid. 2198 01:34:28,654 --> 01:34:31,591 He's not some kid, you prick. 2199 01:34:31,624 --> 01:34:32,926 He's our kid. 2200 01:34:32,959 --> 01:34:35,328 He's this little bundle of amazingness 2201 01:34:35,361 --> 01:34:37,463 And you don't even realize it 2202 01:34:37,497 --> 01:34:38,965 Because you can't see the things that you have, okay? 2203 01:34:38,999 --> 01:34:40,200 You only see the things you used to have. 2204 01:34:40,233 --> 01:34:41,434 No... 2205 01:34:41,467 --> 01:34:42,268 Well if you want that life back, 2206 01:34:42,302 --> 01:34:43,136 You can go ahead and you can take it 2207 01:34:43,169 --> 01:34:44,104 Because I don't fucking, 2208 01:34:44,137 --> 01:34:47,040 I don't-I don't want it anymore. 2209 01:34:47,073 --> 01:34:49,042 Oh, come on. Ms. Superior. 2210 01:34:49,075 --> 01:34:51,644 You can't look me in the eye and tell me that you don't 2211 01:34:51,677 --> 01:34:53,279 Realize that every single minute 2212 01:34:53,313 --> 01:34:54,614 That you try to put him to sleep 2213 01:34:54,647 --> 01:34:56,616 Is a minute you're never going to get back again. 2214 01:34:56,649 --> 01:34:57,951 Huh? 2215 01:34:57,984 --> 01:34:59,485 C'mon it's like he's stealing your life away 2216 01:34:59,519 --> 01:35:01,054 One stupid children's story at a time. 2217 01:35:01,087 --> 01:35:02,388 They're not stupid, Sean. 2218 01:35:02,422 --> 01:35:03,789 What do you mean they're not stupid?! 2219 01:35:03,823 --> 01:35:05,325 Come on... 2220 01:35:05,358 --> 01:35:07,793 What kind of a brother comes over a hill, 2221 01:35:07,827 --> 01:35:09,695 Sees a troll, and says "No, no, don't eat me." 2222 01:35:09,729 --> 01:35:12,132 Wait for my brother who's coming up right behind me." 2223 01:35:12,165 --> 01:35:13,934 What the hell kind of lesson is that? 2224 01:35:15,268 --> 01:35:18,004 And, and who the hell says, what is it? 2225 01:35:18,038 --> 01:35:19,940 "Not by the hair of my chinny, chin-chin." 2226 01:35:21,507 --> 01:35:23,109 What the hell is that?! 2227 01:35:25,711 --> 01:35:27,180 Come on. 2228 01:35:27,213 --> 01:35:29,582 Honey, be honest with yourself. 2229 01:35:29,615 --> 01:35:31,851 Deep down we both want the same things. 2230 01:35:31,884 --> 01:35:34,087 See, that's just it, Sean. 2231 01:35:34,120 --> 01:35:36,022 I don't think that we do. 2232 01:35:36,056 --> 01:35:38,358 You are... 2233 01:35:38,391 --> 01:35:40,160 You're just a sad... 2234 01:35:40,193 --> 01:35:42,428 Old man whose trying to hold onto his youth. 2235 01:35:44,730 --> 01:35:46,399 You're a house-wife. 2236 01:35:51,737 --> 01:35:53,839 C'mon. C'mon, I'm sorry. Please come back 2237 01:35:53,873 --> 01:35:55,275 And we'll, we'll talk. 2238 01:35:55,308 --> 01:35:56,442 Please? 2239 01:35:58,111 --> 01:36:00,746 Not by the hair of my chinny- chin chin. 2240 01:36:12,225 --> 01:36:14,794 I know this probably makes no difference to you, 2241 01:36:14,827 --> 01:36:17,263 But I didn't know he was married. 2242 01:36:23,169 --> 01:36:27,040 Do you... Do you have some place that you could go? 2243 01:36:27,073 --> 01:36:30,110 I mean, 'cause if you do, you should... 2244 01:36:31,411 --> 01:36:33,379 You should go there and don't come back. 2245 01:36:33,413 --> 01:36:35,448 I mean, that piece of shit he's never going to change. 2246 01:36:35,481 --> 01:36:37,383 He... he'll say that he will. 2247 01:36:37,417 --> 01:36:38,418 But he won't. 2248 01:36:38,451 --> 01:36:39,919 I mean, he'll beg and he'll plead 2249 01:36:39,952 --> 01:36:41,454 But you should just go and not come back. 2250 01:36:41,487 --> 01:36:44,757 I mean do it for... do it for your son. 2251 01:36:44,790 --> 01:36:47,127 Believe me... 2252 01:36:47,160 --> 01:36:49,062 Someone who steps out on their family 2253 01:36:49,095 --> 01:36:51,464 Will always step out on their family. 2254 01:36:54,434 --> 01:36:57,037 They're just... broken. 2255 01:37:02,308 --> 01:37:05,178 You know, I would... I would apologize for all of this, 2256 01:37:05,211 --> 01:37:07,913 But I, I really think that I did you a favor. 2257 01:37:07,947 --> 01:37:09,749 I mean, now you know what he is. 2258 01:37:09,782 --> 01:37:11,851 And that's a good thing, right? 2259 01:37:13,019 --> 01:37:14,954 So... 2260 01:37:14,987 --> 01:37:16,289 You're welcome. 2261 01:37:18,391 --> 01:37:19,292 Ooh! 2262 01:37:24,397 --> 01:37:25,898 [Clears throat] 2263 01:37:39,212 --> 01:37:41,281 You know what? I, I'm in this 2264 01:37:41,314 --> 01:37:42,948 Really awesome moms group. 2265 01:37:42,982 --> 01:37:46,619 I know, I know, but it's just that it's really nice people. 2266 01:37:46,652 --> 01:37:50,790 Great kids. Couple of single Dads... 2267 01:37:50,823 --> 01:37:53,326 Sorry, it's... too soon. I know. 2268 01:37:53,359 --> 01:37:55,828 Actually, it's, it's weird. 2269 01:37:55,861 --> 01:37:58,698 It's weird. I'm sorry. 2270 01:38:00,266 --> 01:38:02,068 Taxi! 2271 01:38:03,936 --> 01:38:05,705 You know what? You take this one. 2272 01:38:05,738 --> 01:38:08,274 You, you take it. 2273 01:38:12,612 --> 01:38:13,913 [Children squealing] 2274 01:38:13,946 --> 01:38:16,249 - Yeah! - Yay! 2275 01:38:16,282 --> 01:38:17,350 What's that? 2276 01:38:17,383 --> 01:38:19,885 - Who's this here? - Is this thing on? 2277 01:38:19,919 --> 01:38:21,521 Oh, hi! Hi, guys! 2278 01:38:21,554 --> 01:38:24,924 I'm sorry we missed the party, but this, this cruise 2279 01:38:24,957 --> 01:38:26,726 Was just too good to pass up. 2280 01:38:26,759 --> 01:38:28,228 Happy birthday sweetie, 2281 01:38:28,261 --> 01:38:29,595 It's grandma and grandpa, 2282 01:38:29,629 --> 01:38:30,263 We're gonna bring you some... 2283 01:38:30,296 --> 01:38:32,398 Something, very special. 2284 01:38:32,432 --> 01:38:33,766 We're going to buy you... 2285 01:38:33,799 --> 01:38:35,501 - Hi, guys! - A buffalo! 2286 01:38:35,535 --> 01:38:36,769 - What? - Don't be silly. 2287 01:38:36,802 --> 01:38:38,771 They say they love you, and they'll see you soon. 2288 01:38:38,804 --> 01:38:40,072 - Okay babe? - Mama? 2289 01:38:40,106 --> 01:38:42,742 Yeah... well, mama couldn't make it. 2290 01:38:44,110 --> 01:38:45,911 Jude! Come play! 2291 01:38:45,945 --> 01:38:47,913 - Pretty cute. - She is cute. 2292 01:38:47,947 --> 01:38:48,881 I think I'm gonna take Ephraim 2293 01:38:48,914 --> 01:38:50,983 To a movie after this. 2294 01:38:52,585 --> 01:38:54,787 What do you think? 2295 01:38:54,820 --> 01:38:57,523 I think we need to hear more about that movie. 2296 01:38:57,557 --> 01:38:58,958 Do you want to go to a movie? 2297 01:38:58,991 --> 01:39:00,193 Yeah! 2298 01:39:00,226 --> 01:39:01,727 Yeah! 2299 01:39:01,761 --> 01:39:03,163 [Together] Yeah! 2300 01:39:06,566 --> 01:39:09,369 D'you have something I could slip into your drink? 2301 01:39:09,402 --> 01:39:10,936 Oh God that's completely inappropriate. 2302 01:39:10,970 --> 01:39:13,072 I'm really sorry I-I-I... 2303 01:39:16,409 --> 01:39:18,478 I was surprised to get your invitation. 2304 01:39:18,511 --> 01:39:20,313 I didn't know if you'd come or not. 2305 01:39:20,346 --> 01:39:22,448 I'd be crazy not to come, you're so nice. 2306 01:39:22,482 --> 01:39:24,517 You? Crazy? Come on. 2307 01:39:25,651 --> 01:39:27,620 I guess I am a bit crazy, aren't I? 2308 01:39:27,653 --> 01:39:29,255 No. 2309 01:39:29,289 --> 01:39:32,192 You're just dealing, just like everybody else here. 2310 01:39:37,530 --> 01:39:40,966 Look, I, I have these tickets to this thing next week. 2311 01:39:41,000 --> 01:39:43,469 I thought maybe we could give this another shot. 2312 01:39:43,503 --> 01:39:45,137 Maybe brother could watch the kids, what do you think? 2313 01:39:45,171 --> 01:39:48,741 Yeah! God, he'd love to. Oh, he's brilliant. 2314 01:39:48,774 --> 01:39:50,443 I mean, you know, he's a recovering drug addict, 2315 01:39:50,476 --> 01:39:51,444 But I mean, he's great, 2316 01:39:51,477 --> 01:39:53,179 You know, cause he's got like, he's got puppets, 2317 01:39:53,213 --> 01:39:55,348 He does puppet shows and got little trains. 2318 01:39:55,381 --> 01:39:56,182 He does all these kinds of things, he's great with... 2319 01:40:06,826 --> 01:40:08,060 What was that for? 2320 01:40:08,861 --> 01:40:10,496 I just think you're great. 2321 01:40:12,732 --> 01:40:14,300 Even when I babble like an idiot? 2322 01:40:20,473 --> 01:40:21,774 What! 2323 01:40:21,807 --> 01:40:22,775 Oh, those are the lesbians. 2324 01:40:22,808 --> 01:40:24,710 That's Gage's sister and her partner. 2325 01:40:24,744 --> 01:40:28,614 Rumor has it, Gage donated the baby juice. 2326 01:40:28,648 --> 01:40:29,649 - What? - Yeah! 2327 01:40:29,682 --> 01:40:31,551 Keeping it in the family. 2328 01:40:31,584 --> 01:40:32,652 Anyway... 2329 01:40:32,685 --> 01:40:33,986 They left the group 2330 01:40:34,019 --> 01:40:35,721 Over some bullshit snack selection thing, 2331 01:40:35,755 --> 01:40:36,789 But they're back now. 2332 01:40:36,822 --> 01:40:37,690 Yeah, no, no... Yeah, we've met. 2333 01:40:37,723 --> 01:40:39,225 Oh, good! 2334 01:40:39,259 --> 01:40:41,160 Uh, excuse me, uh, I found this little fella 2335 01:40:41,193 --> 01:40:43,863 Pulling on everyone's pants asking for Mommy. 2336 01:40:43,896 --> 01:40:45,565 Oh, and so what, you assume 2337 01:40:45,598 --> 01:40:48,167 Because he's black that he's mine? 2338 01:40:48,200 --> 01:40:49,702 Yes. That is exactly what I assumed. 2339 01:40:49,735 --> 01:40:51,203 Reverse-racism is fun. 2340 01:40:51,237 --> 01:40:52,305 No, I'm, I'm kidding. 2341 01:40:52,338 --> 01:40:53,306 Of course he's my kid. 2342 01:40:53,339 --> 01:40:54,474 Have you seen his face? Have you seen my face? 2343 01:40:54,507 --> 01:40:56,075 Thank you. 2344 01:40:56,108 --> 01:40:57,910 Hey. Fun fact. 2345 01:40:57,943 --> 01:41:00,413 Did you know that toddlers require their Mom's attention 2346 01:41:00,446 --> 01:41:02,482 Once every four minutes? That's 210 times a day. 2347 01:41:02,515 --> 01:41:03,649 Must be maddening. 2348 01:41:03,683 --> 01:41:04,884 Really? 2349 01:41:04,917 --> 01:41:07,420 That is weird. How did you know that? 2350 01:41:07,453 --> 01:41:09,389 Uhh, I'm a nanny. 2351 01:41:10,523 --> 01:41:11,724 Get out of here. 2352 01:41:11,757 --> 01:41:12,725 That's actually really cool. 2353 01:41:13,859 --> 01:41:15,728 Yeah. I suppose it is. 2354 01:41:15,761 --> 01:41:21,100 So, um... do you have any advice for a... single mom? 2355 01:41:21,133 --> 01:41:23,102 Why don't you sit and join us? 2356 01:41:25,237 --> 01:41:26,506 Okay. 2357 01:41:26,539 --> 01:41:27,940 Is that baby alive? 2358 01:41:27,973 --> 01:41:29,742 Yeah. 2359 01:41:29,775 --> 01:41:31,344 - She's a good sleeper. - She's a good sleeper? 2360 01:41:31,377 --> 01:41:32,745 - Hey! - Hey. 2361 01:41:32,778 --> 01:41:34,547 Hey, I've been meaning to call you. 2362 01:41:34,580 --> 01:41:37,450 I wanted to say thank you, for the other day. 2363 01:41:37,483 --> 01:41:38,918 Don't mention it. 2364 01:41:38,951 --> 01:41:40,953 I wanted, I wanted to thank you for... 2365 01:41:40,986 --> 01:41:42,355 For not letting me do something 2366 01:41:42,388 --> 01:41:43,356 That I would have regret... 2367 01:41:43,389 --> 01:41:44,757 Shh! 2368 01:41:44,790 --> 01:41:45,925 I don't know what you're talking about. 2369 01:41:45,958 --> 01:41:47,126 Okay. 2370 01:41:48,961 --> 01:41:52,097 So, how long do you think before they cut the cake? 2371 01:41:52,131 --> 01:41:54,300 I don't know. Soon. 2372 01:41:54,334 --> 01:41:57,603 Between seven, 20 minutes-ish? 2373 01:41:57,637 --> 01:41:59,539 Sure. We can do that. 2374 01:41:59,572 --> 01:42:01,341 Yeah! Okay. 2375 01:42:05,345 --> 01:42:06,979 And don't get me started on tank tops. 2376 01:42:07,012 --> 01:42:08,481 I mean, seriously, what are you, on a yachting team? 2377 01:42:08,514 --> 01:42:10,583 Wear a shirt. Stupid. 2378 01:42:11,951 --> 01:42:13,653 Do you mind? 2379 01:42:13,686 --> 01:42:15,421 Hey baby. 2380 01:42:17,357 --> 01:42:19,124 What're you doing, I was drinking that. 2381 01:42:19,158 --> 01:42:21,226 Oh. Excuse me. 2382 01:42:21,260 --> 01:42:23,262 Oh, careful, there's a stick there. 2383 01:42:26,432 --> 01:42:28,167 So to answer your question, 2384 01:42:28,200 --> 01:42:31,170 I think that having kids is absolutely detrimental 2385 01:42:31,203 --> 01:42:34,407 To the sex life of a couple. 2386 01:42:34,440 --> 01:42:37,910 But the experience of going through pregnancy, 2387 01:42:37,943 --> 01:42:42,348 Childbirth, and later child- rearing with someone else 2388 01:42:42,382 --> 01:42:46,419 Allows for a whole new level of trust and familiarity 2389 01:42:46,452 --> 01:42:49,689 That I just don't think happens otherwise. 2390 01:42:49,722 --> 01:42:50,990 You sure about this, out in public, 2391 01:42:51,023 --> 01:42:52,592 People might see us... 2392 01:42:52,625 --> 01:42:53,626 I hope so. 2393 01:42:53,659 --> 01:42:55,361 I just washed this dress. 2394 01:42:55,395 --> 01:42:58,798 My goodness, to what do we owe this new frontier spirit? 2395 01:42:58,831 --> 01:43:00,600 Well, I just woke up this morning and thought 2396 01:43:00,633 --> 01:43:04,470 "I'm going to have sex with my husband in a bush." 2397 01:43:04,504 --> 01:43:08,641 So perhaps sex after kids suffers, 2398 01:43:08,674 --> 01:43:13,012 But maybe something better comes out of it... 2399 01:43:13,045 --> 01:43:13,879 [♪ Gregory Page: "That's You"] 2400 01:43:13,913 --> 01:43:16,048 ♪ There is only one reason 2401 01:43:16,081 --> 01:43:20,453 ♪ My heart knows what to do 2402 01:43:20,486 --> 01:43:22,655 ♪ That's you 2403 01:43:24,056 --> 01:43:27,026 ♪ Like a dream that suddenly was real 2404 01:43:27,059 --> 01:43:30,563 ♪ And then came true 2405 01:43:30,596 --> 01:43:33,499 ♪ That's you 2406 01:43:34,834 --> 01:43:38,671 ♪ I was sad and lonesome 2407 01:43:40,239 --> 01:43:44,176 ♪ Forever blue 2408 01:43:44,209 --> 01:43:49,014 ♪ Clouds of Grey all blew away 2409 01:43:49,048 --> 01:43:52,384 ♪ And the sun shined through 2410 01:43:52,418 --> 01:43:54,186 ♪ That's you 2411 01:43:54,219 --> 01:43:56,556 ♪ Because we are together 2412 01:43:56,589 --> 01:44:00,560 ♪ Life is better and brand new 2413 01:44:00,593 --> 01:44:03,228 ♪ That's you 2414 01:44:04,764 --> 01:44:06,832 ♪ Someone is an angel 2415 01:44:06,866 --> 01:44:11,170 ♪ Sent from heaven I know who 2416 01:44:11,203 --> 01:44:13,639 ♪ That's you 2417 01:44:15,641 --> 01:44:19,712 ♪ I was melancholy 2418 01:44:20,913 --> 01:44:25,250 ♪ Forever blue 2419 01:44:25,284 --> 01:44:29,889 ♪ Clouds of Grey all blew away 2420 01:44:29,922 --> 01:44:33,125 ♪ And the sun shined through 2421 01:44:33,158 --> 01:44:35,294 ♪ That's you 2422 01:44:35,327 --> 01:44:39,465 ♪ And love is the great adventure 2423 01:44:39,499 --> 01:44:42,067 ♪ Some will win 2424 01:44:42,101 --> 01:44:44,704 ♪ Some will lose 2425 01:44:44,737 --> 01:44:50,209 ♪ But the only one I trust with my love 2426 01:44:50,242 --> 01:44:53,078 ♪ That's you. 2427 01:44:55,915 --> 01:45:01,787 ♪♪ 2428 01:45:36,789 --> 01:45:40,926 ♪ Love is the great adventure 2429 01:45:40,960 --> 01:45:43,295 ♪ Some will win 2430 01:45:43,328 --> 01:45:46,198 ♪ Some will lose 2431 01:45:46,231 --> 01:45:51,303 ♪ But the only one I trust with my love 2432 01:45:51,336 --> 01:45:54,439 ♪ That's you 2433 01:45:54,473 --> 01:45:59,545 ♪ There is only one reason 2434 01:45:59,579 --> 01:46:04,617 ♪ my heart knows what to do 2435 01:46:04,650 --> 01:46:08,220 ♪ That's you 170571