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1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:07,007
Mm. Tell you what,
these pot shop numbers
2
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,476
are really good.
3
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,412
I'll bet it's the only thing
these stoners can remember.
4
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:14,515
(stoner voice): "Hey,
where'd you put your car, man?
5
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:19,153
Wait a minute.
We got to buy more weed."
6
00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:21,155
There is something else
I got to tell you,
7
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,391
but I don't want this
to get out.
8
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,926
You're not a complete idiot.
9
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,396
Oh, my God, are you dying?
10
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:32,733
No, but I didn't like
how excited you just got.
11
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,236
I'm kidding.
I don't want you to die.
12
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:38,005
-Not anymore.
-Yeah.
13
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,573
Hey, honey.
14
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:42,042
You and your vlog
made Denver's list
15
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,412
of Top Ten
Online Personalities again.
16
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,280
See? Look.
Congratulations.
17
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:47,515
(takes deep breath)
18
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,849
What?
19
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,751
I said congratulations.
20
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,586
I know,
I just wanted to hear it again.
21
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,290
Oh, hey, uh,
any mention of Ry-Ry and Ky-Ky,
22
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,292
the Sci-Fi Guy-Guys?
23
00:00:58,326 --> 00:00:59,793
Uh, oh, yes, yes.
24
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:03,864
Your podcast got
Most Rhyming Name.
25
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,900
No, no, you didn't
get mentioned, Ryan. No.
26
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,302
We just can't get any traction.
27
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,538
I mean, nerds love sci-fi
and the Internet.
28
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,739
What am I missing?
29
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:13,207
You're boring.
30
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,875
Mike.
31
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,145
Not him personally.
The podcast is boring,
32
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:20,114
and you're just the face
of that boredom.
33
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,483
What Mike is trying to say is,
34
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:25,219
if you want to get noticed,
you got to make some noise.
35
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,588
You bring on a name guest,
create some conflict...
36
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:31,325
Wow. You are red hot when you
repeat things I've told you.
37
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:32,660
Mm.
(imitates sizzle)
38
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,396
You're saying we don't create
enough conflict on the podcast?
39
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,465
No, no, not really.
Right now, you and Kyle
40
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:40,234
are just two nice guys who
always agree with each other.
41
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:42,069
Right, you got to get
alternate points of view.
42
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,272
You know, get the audience
invested in picking a side.
43
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,406
It's basic storytelling.
44
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,475
Mike, I think I know
how to tell a story.
45
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,009
You do, huh?
Well, here's one.
46
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,612
This guy had a boring podcast,
didn't take advice,
47
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,047
it sucked, end of story.
48
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,618
Oh, oh, that was fascinating.
49
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,087
I-I was on the edge of my seat.
50
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,522
Oh, okay,
so what you're saying is,
51
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,658
we need a guest that's
contrarian and opinionated
52
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:07,195
-and loves to hear himself talk.
-Mm, yeah,
53
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,363
preferably, someone who already
has an Internet presence
54
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:12,433
-Oh.
-who might bring in some new listeners,
55
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,902
and he's also a sweetheart.
56
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:19,106
Wait. I...
I see where this is going.
57
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,209
Listen, you know
I've always said that,
58
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,943
-Mm-hmm.
-uh, podcasts are so boring,
59
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,046
no one with any self-respect
would do it.
60
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,381
But?
61
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:30,150
Uh, still the same.
62
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:32,186
*
63
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,362
What?
64
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:46,367
I don't want to do a podcast
with a bunch of sci-fi nerds.
65
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,838
They'll probably just call in,
ask, "Hey, what are girls like?"
66
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,172
Oh, uh-huh. Yeah.
67
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:54,375
Well, that's
totally understandable.
68
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,310
I mean, I get it, I get it.
69
00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,678
There's nothing to get.
70
00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,680
Podcast, sci-fi, Ryan?
71
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:03,116
It's the trifecta
of useless things.
72
00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:07,988
What?
73
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,359
I think it's nice how close
you and Ryan are getting.
74
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:15,062
I think it's nice that
you say such crazy things.
75
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,431
I've been married to you
for 30 years.
76
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:20,234
-I always know
what you're thinking. -You know what?
77
00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:22,836
Remind me to buy a lead helmet.
You know...
78
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:26,907
Alexa, add "lead helmet"
to my shopping list.
79
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:30,411
ALEXA: Okay. I've added "lead
helmet" to your shopping list.
80
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,912
Huh.
81
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:35,215
And now you're making jokes
to try to distract me.
82
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,717
Is it working?
83
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,919
No.
84
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,454
You know...
85
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:44,091
you like how your relationship
is with Ryan right now,
86
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,126
and you don't want to do
anything to screw that up.
87
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,895
I mean, that's
why you're a sweetheart.
88
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,630
Okay, all right, I admit it.
89
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,265
I like not arguing with the man
90
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,267
that's gonna give me
my second grandchild.
91
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,369
Mm-hmm, and you don't want
to go on his podcast
92
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,538
because you're afraid
you might get into a fight,
93
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,872
and that will screw things up.
94
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,874
It's not gonna be a fight.
95
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,876
I'll rip his head off.
He'll never recover.
96
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,479
I am just too powerful.
97
00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:07,315
Okay.
98
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:10,551
I know that it would mean a lot
99
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,486
to Ryan if you did his show.
100
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,389
Isn't it enough that I
just give him a pot shop to run
101
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,291
and he gets to marry
my oldest daughter?
102
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,393
Let me... let me tell you
a story, okay?
103
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,962
Once upon a time
there was a very nice man
104
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,964
who wanted to help out
his son-in-law,
105
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:27,134
so he called him
and he said he'd do his podcast.
106
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,802
I don't like
the beginning of that story,
107
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:32,039
the middle
or the end of that story.
108
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,844
Oh, excuse me.
Um, can we get
109
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,579
some menus
when you get a chance, please?
110
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,314
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Most people just read
111
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:43,451
the giant chalkboard, but...
let me see what I can do.
112
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,188
Wow. Didn't notice
the giant chalkboard,
113
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,758
-but Trevor sure is
a giant as... -Okay, Mandy.
114
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,860
We're-we're having a nice lunch.
115
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,329
If this booth seems small to me,
116
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:57,598
what are you guys going through?
117
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,600
Well, I told them
there would be four of us.
118
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:03,303
Yeah, did you tell them
that one of us was two of us?
119
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,339
Maybe we should take turns.
120
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:08,108
Three of us eat
while one of us watches.
121
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,044
Then we rotate.
Like volleyball.
122
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,547
Aw. You know this is fun,
this is fun.
123
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:16,517
-It's like eating lunch
in the backseat of a car. -Yeah.
124
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,354
Uh, excuse me.
Could we get a larger table?
125
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,855
My daughter's pregnant, and...
126
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,957
Oh. My sister was pregnant once.
127
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,394
-Aw.
-She stayed home.
128
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,197
This guy is incredibly rude.
129
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:33,801
Nothing an elbow to the face
can't cure.
130
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,137
Kristin, you look uncomfortable.
Do you want to switch with me?
131
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,306
Good idea. Yeah.
I'll probably be making, uh,
132
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,642
several trips to the bathroom,
so... (chuckles)
133
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,943
Okay.
134
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,846
-Oh!
-Oh! Uh, sorry.
135
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,648
Okay, okay...
136
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,049
(chuckles):
Sorry.
137
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,751
Baby on the way.
138
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:53,020
No, oh, no, no, not now.
139
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,923
Soon. Soon.
We're... we're excited.
140
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:59,760
Hey. That was on the floor.
141
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,430
Well, I didn't put it there.
142
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:05,699
Hey, that attitude will be
reflected in your tip!
143
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:11,905
Well, this is gonna be my first
podcast about superheroes.
144
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:14,207
I'm excited. When do I get
my thick black glasses
145
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,777
with the tape
in the middle of 'em?
146
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,512
It's, uh, it's just audio, sir.
147
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:20,748
The listeners,
they can't see you.
148
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,751
Their loss.
149
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,619
He's kidding, Kyle.
He's just trying to annoy me.
150
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,555
No, no.
If I was trying to annoy you,
151
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,356
we wouldn't be talking
superheroes,
152
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,324
we'd be talking Ronald Reagan.
153
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,262
I love it, Mike.
Whatever you got, I can take it.
154
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,297
Well, let's just pretend
that's true.
155
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,467
If I knew this
was gonna be stressful,
156
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,802
I wouldn't be drinking
bubbly water.
157
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,438
And we're on in three, two...
158
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,239
Hello...
159
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,776
and welcome to another episode
of Ry-Ry and Ky-Ky,
160
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,078
-the Sci-Fi Guy-Guys.
-Yeah, we have
161
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,646
a very special guest
with us today,
162
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,214
none other
than Outdoor Man himself,
163
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,749
Mr. Mike Baxter.
164
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,418
-Well, thank you, guys,
for having me on. -Yep.
165
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:01,321
So now Mi-Mi is a Guy-Guy.
166
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:05,559
You really got to stop-stop
before I die-die.
167
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:09,162
Okay, today's topic is
the evolution of superheroes.
168
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,331
Oh, really?
When do I get my broken glasses
169
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,701
with the tape in the middle?
(laughing)
170
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:18,071
Okay. Well, I can't take credit
for that one.
171
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:21,174
That joke is
a Mike Baxter original.
172
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,310
Since you ruined it, it's yours.
173
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:26,313
Uh, and back to topic.
Today we see
174
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,749
our superheroes
with a more nuanced lens--
175
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,184
with moral ambiguity,
complex motivations--
176
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,821
but, uh, Mike,
I'm sure you preferred
177
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,422
back in the olden days,
178
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,291
when, uh, our superheroes
just stood for truth, justice
179
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:39,827
and the American way?
180
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,995
Well, you're probably
not gonna like this, Ryan,
181
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,330
but I agree with you.
182
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,365
I'm actually fascinated
by the complexities
183
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,267
of today's antiheroes.
184
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,669
Okay, you don't have
to play nice
185
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,203
just because
you're our guest here.
186
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:53,073
I don't play nice.
I just farted in this chair.
187
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,679
There's no such thing
as all good or all bad.
188
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,047
It's complex, guys.
189
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,515
It's like real life now.
190
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,951
Look at real life--
it's-it's a snake pit out there.
191
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,286
Yeah, okay, but we're
talking superheroes here,
192
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,655
not the real world.
193
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,322
Well, yeah,
but modern superheroes
194
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:10,891
reflect our modern world.
195
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,226
I mean, let's face it, these are
scary and confusing times.
196
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,562
MIKE: Exactly.
And the darker
197
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,864
the hero,
the darker the villain.
198
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,498
And today's villains, youch.
199
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,400
They'll crush a butterfly,
eat it like that,
200
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,735
kill women, children.
201
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,904
They don't care.
It almost makes them...
202
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,806
a bit more interesting.
203
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,976
Ah. And there you have it, the
viewpoint of Mr. Mike Baxter.
204
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,243
Uh, can I say something?
205
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,079
Mr. Baxter, you...
206
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,847
are full of crap.
207
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,416
What?
208
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,418
Yeah, that's right,
I said "crap."
209
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,320
And I'm not gonna sit here
and listen to you.
210
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,156
You know why?
Because it's crap.
211
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,658
All right, I'm leaving,
212
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,527
because I, for one,
do not like conflict!
213
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,503
KRISTIN:
Is it a good idea
214
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,739
for us to go out again?
What if this place
215
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,240
is as bad as the place
where Trevor works?
216
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,210
Oh, it is. We're going back
to the place where Trevor works.
217
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,847
Uh, why don't we
just eat lunch in Hell?
218
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,716
Because he was horrible,
219
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:11,251
and we are going
to pay him back.
220
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,721
Ladies! We're ready!
221
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,391
(laughs)
222
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,361
KRISTIN:
What?
223
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,263
What is this?
224
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,365
Oh, you know,
just three pregnant women
225
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:28,368
going to lunch and glowing.
226
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,871
Look at the size of me.
227
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,940
I feel so...
228
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,908
American.
229
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,247
Oh. After lunch, we should have
a belly-bumping contest.
230
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,482
Hyah!
231
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:43,884
I love it, I really...
I love it,
232
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,719
but why exactly
are you guys doing this?
233
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,554
Well, because
if Trevor nearly lost it
234
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,889
with one pregnant woman,
235
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,324
oh, he'll definitely lose it
with three.
236
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,793
Yeah, and if not--
237
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:53,961
whack!--
238
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,663
he gets the elbow.
239
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,069
-Chuck.
-Hmm?
240
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,436
Look, I'm looking for Kyle.
241
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,605
Uh, hey, you have eyes on him?
242
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,675
You mean look for him
on the monitor?
243
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:12,612
Everybody wants to talk
like they're on CSI.
244
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:17,818
No, he is not in the retail
store or in his office.
245
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,252
-What's up?
-I don't know,
246
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,654
I think he's trying to avoid me.
247
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,656
When I find him,
I'll let you know why.
248
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,825
Hey, Mikey.
How's it going?
249
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:25,926
Have you seen Kyle?
250
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,829
Oh, yes, yes,
he's hiding under my desk.
251
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:30,698
Ed!
252
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,800
We-we both said
we would cover for him.
253
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,969
I know,
but I'd like my office back.
254
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,806
Why is he hiding from me?
255
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,540
Everybody hides from you
every now and then.
256
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,542
We stopped asking why.
257
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,444
Kyle, get out here.
258
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,147
KYLE:
Uh, Kyle who?
259
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,049
Uh, Anderson?
260
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,318
KYLE:
Aw, nuts.
261
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,454
Can we talk for a minute
in my office?
262
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,456
Yeah.
263
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,526
I'm sorry,
I just needed some legroom.
264
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,796
So-- so what's going on?
265
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,698
Oh, nothing. Why do you ask?
266
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,736
Well, maybe 'cause
I'm full of crap?
267
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,540
You heard that?
268
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:17,344
I was sitting right next to you.
269
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,812
So tell me what's going on.
270
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,914
Something. Something huge.
271
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:24,417
I mean, really, really huge,
but I can't tell you.
272
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,753
You understand that, right?
273
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,320
Sure, I understand.
I mean, why wouldn't I?
274
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,856
You were hiding under a desk.
275
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,390
Listen,
276
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,192
if this is work-related
or something like that,
277
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,827
I'm here. I-I will listen.
278
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,328
No, it-it's okay. Really.
279
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,831
-I-I have Mandy
that I can talk to. -Okay, then.
280
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,399
-I mean, actually,
she's the one who told me. -Okay.
281
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,602
Not with words, but she just
came out of the bathroom smiling
282
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,437
and pointing at the stick.
283
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,041
-Are you...
-Oh, wait, did I say "stick"?
284
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:50,410
I meant pregnancy test.
Oh, damn it!
285
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,382
Mandy's pregnant?
286
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,549
Yeah.
287
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,717
I'm conflicted.
288
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:58,952
I-I want to tell you to get out,
289
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:01,421
-but I also want to go...
-(laughs)
290
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,290
Wow.
291
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,958
-This is great. This is...
-Yeah.
292
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,394
Becoming a father
is the best news ever.
293
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,896
-Thanks. Oh, I'm so happy.
-Yes.
294
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,864
So that's why you snapped
on the podcast.
295
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,233
You heard all the stuff
about snake pit and the heroes,
296
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,635
and-and you just want
to protect that kid.
297
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,470
Exactly, yeah. It's like I want
298
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,239
to cover the baby
in bubble wrap.
299
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:22,075
Yeah. Well, I'm fairly certain
that's illegal,
300
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,443
so let's not do that.
301
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,813
I mean, Mandy and I,
302
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,915
-we are terrified.
-Yeah, this is great.
303
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:28,982
I mean, there's
so much danger everywhere.
304
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,884
Everything in our apartment
is sharp.
305
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,920
Well...
306
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:34,888
You know?
307
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,123
A-And it's like
I don't know what to do.
308
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,891
-No, hey, hey.
-Right? It's like the whole world
309
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,227
was built to threaten my kid.
310
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,896
You can handle this. Trust me.
311
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,765
It'll all change
when you see that kid.
312
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,968
You'll stand in front of
a speeding train to protect it.
313
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,436
You really will.
314
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,271
-Thanks, Mr. B.
-Yeah.
315
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,273
Hey, and...
and it's still super early,
316
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,842
-so that's why
we're not telling anyone. -Great, great.
317
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,877
Okay. I'll tell Vanessa,
"Don't tell anybody."
318
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,182
Uh, no,
you-you can't tell Mrs. B.
319
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,317
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes, I can.
320
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,285
Yeah, it's just...
(chuckles)
321
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,454
Come on, it's my wife.
If I don't tell her,
322
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,856
she would literally kill me.
323
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:12,459
And my wife will
literally kill me if you do.
324
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,929
So it's you or me.
325
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,698
Okay, obviously,
you're more important than me.
326
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,968
-Good.
-But I really need this one.
327
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,670
I can't do this.
Vanessa can read my mind.
328
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,906
I don't have a lead helmet.
329
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,681
Hey, Mike Baxter
for Outdoor Man.
330
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,349
Want to take a second
to thank you all
331
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,885
for making this vlog so popular.
332
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,387
I may record it
in the state of Colorado,
333
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,222
but the Outdoor Man philosophy
334
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:45,859
is really a state of mind.
335
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:48,661
Hard to believe how big
our following has gotten.
336
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,630
I guess, like me,
most outdoorsmen
337
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,199
just love hunting for the truth.
338
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,334
Of course,
it's an election year,
339
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,569
so it's really not in season.
340
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,308
But over 2,000 years ago,
341
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,511
a guy had only 12 followers,
and he said something simple.
342
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,079
"The truth shall set you free."
343
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:08,548
Those 12 guys
retweeted so many times,
344
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,717
Jesus now has
over two billion fans.
345
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,152
(chuckles)
346
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,155
Now, that is an influencer.
347
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,724
The only time
the truth doesn't set you free
348
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,726
is when you hold on to it.
349
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,061
This is especially dangerous
350
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,063
if you try to keep a secret
from your wife.
351
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,198
That leaves you
with quite a dilemma.
352
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,734
"Dilemma" from "di,"
meaning "two,"
353
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:32,072
and "lemma" as in
"lemma explain what I meant."
354
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:36,243
Marriage is just an endless
injection of sodium pentothal.
355
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,778
Lying to your wife
is not only immoral,
356
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,580
it's pointless.
357
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,750
Try it, and you'll learn lies
can actually set you free.
358
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,085
Free to pack up your crap
359
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:48,688
and move into a one-bedroom
across town.
360
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,857
Or maybe a nice one-man tent,
361
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,760
on sale all this month
at Outdoor Man.
362
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,397
That's the truth. Baxter out.
363
00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:00,267
*
364
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:03,636
-(laughs)
-Oh, that was so much fun.
365
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,472
Did you see the look
on Trevor's face?
366
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:09,242
Oh, yeah, especially when
Jen asked to see a wine list.
367
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,280
Messing with people is fun.
368
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:17,817
I'm gonna go take a selfie
and send it to my dad.
369
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,287
No! Wait, no! No, you're not!
370
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,722
Don't do that! No! Hey!
371
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,158
Oh, you guys are the best.
372
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,626
Oh, I'm so lucky
373
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,895
to have such an amazing sister
374
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,563
and mom and...
375
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,133
exchange student.
376
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,235
(chuckles):
Honey, oh, that is so sweet,
377
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,338
even if it might be
the pregnancy hormones talking.
378
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,806
Why does it have to be
the hormones?
379
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,341
Can't it just be
something I feel?!
380
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,010
Okay.
381
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,678
I should probably go.
382
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,680
Okay.
383
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,183
(chuckles)
384
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,855
You're, uh, you're gonna
take that off, right?
385
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,857
Yes. I just...
386
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,859
I like the way I look.
387
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:03,030
I mean, I always do,
but this is different.
388
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,532
Enjoy it now, because
when you really are pregnant,
389
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,468
there's a lot less standing
and admiring. (chuckles)
390
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,937
-(sniffles)
-Hey.
391
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,705
-Are you crying?
-No.
392
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,042
No. It's just...
393
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,277
Thanks for buying us all lunch,
Mom.
394
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,611
You're so generous
and beautiful.
395
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,348
You used to make our lunches.
Do you remember that?
396
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,616
Oh.
(chuckles)
397
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,552
You're...
Are you mocking Kristin?
398
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,720
No. Why does it have to be
about Kristin?
399
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:30,090
Can't it just be
something I feel?!
400
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,329
Oh, my God.
401
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:37,797
You're pregnant.
402
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,500
I didn't say that, but yes.
403
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,235
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
404
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:44,904
Oh, honey! Oh!
405
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:47,307
You were so worried
this wouldn't happen,
406
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,542
-but I told you it would.
-(chuckles)
407
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:50,810
Oh!
(chuckles)
408
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,079
How far along are you?
409
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,580
Um, not this far.
410
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,915
(mouths)
411
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,418
Oh, this is amazing.
Oh, I just...
412
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:01,721
I'm so happy for you
and for me, for us.
413
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,756
Your dad is gonna be so excited.
414
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,925
I know. You can't tell him.
415
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,661
Oh, yeah. Good one. Right.
416
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:09,729
No, no, no, Mom, I'm serious.
417
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,264
We were gonna
tell you guys together.
418
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,266
-He's gonna be really hurt
if he found out you knew first. -No.
419
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,735
No, he won't.
Oh, no, wait, you're right.
420
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,971
Yeah, he will. He's a big baby.
421
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,443
Kyle. Kyle, got to relax.
Just relax.
422
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,945
If Vanessa
goes searching up in this head,
423
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:29,349
all she's gonna hear
is the song "Danny Boy" playing.
424
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,784
"Danny Boy."
It's a... It's a... Never mind.
425
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,121
No, and I'm not taking
suggestions for another song.
426
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:37,190
That's what's playing up there.
Goodbye.
427
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,292
* Danny boy *
428
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:42,195
* The pipes, the pipes *
429
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,964
* Are calling *
430
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:49,702
* From glen to glen and... *
Hey.
431
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,804
-You're home.
-Yeah.
432
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,540
You cooked.
433
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,375
Uh, yeah. Uh, yeah, usually do.
434
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,076
(both chuckle)
435
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,081
Yeah, usually do.
436
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,452
-We should take this
to the table. -Yeah.
437
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,620
Yeah,
that's a good place to eat.
438
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,422
(clears throat)
439
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:12,492
-Uh, how was, uh,
how was your day? -Huh?
440
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:15,395
-Day?
-Yeah.
441
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,763
Uh...
442
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,431
Normal.
443
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,668
How was your day?
444
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,002
Super normal.
445
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,905
Just, um, you know, normal.
446
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,775
RYAN:
Howdy-hoo!
447
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,743
Did you guys hear
the great news?
448
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,345
-I didn't hear anything.
-No, nothing. I don't know anything.
449
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:33,913
What are you talking about?
450
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,583
Uh, because of
your guest appearance,
451
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,617
we got a whole host
452
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,519
-of new subscribers
to the podcast. -Oh.
453
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,488
-That's why
I brought the bubbly. -MIKE: Yeah.
454
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:42,789
-That news. Yeah, yeah.
-Good, good. (chuckles) Yeah.
455
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:43,856
-Good. Great.
-Yeah.
456
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,258
Yeah. Ry-Ry and Ky-Ky
457
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:48,295
going cray cray in the hey-hey!
458
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,497
Bubbly dooby doo, doo, doo.
459
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,764
That's what
it sounds like to me.
460
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:52,865
I don't know what you just said.
461
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:54,167
Uh, anyway, I got to skedaddle.
462
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,502
Just want to drop in,
say thank you.
463
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,705
-Ta-ta, Mi-Mi.
-MIKE: Good, good.
464
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,209
Well, we should eat.
465
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,943
-Yes, right here. Good. Yeah.
-Uh, yep.
466
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,145
Oh, yeah.
467
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,949
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
468
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,151
(Vanessa clears throat)
469
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,803
MIKE:
Mmm.
470
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,206
-That thing with Ryan.
-Oh.
471
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,842
-I know.
-Oh.
472
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,845
Seemed like you were...
473
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,247
Yeah.
474
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,715
-Yeah, so did you.
-Hmm.
475
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,030
Actually, my day...
476
00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,233
was great.
477
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,070
Mine, too.
478
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:08,708
-Want some champagne?
-(laughs) You read my mind.
479
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,386
The other day, when I was hiding
480
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:20,520
-underneath your desk...
-Mm-hmm.
481
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,455
...I found a nickel,
and just out of habit,
482
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,391
-I put it in my pocket.
-Mm-hmm.
483
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:27,460
I have just felt sick about it.
484
00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:30,897
Well, thank you, Kyle.
485
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:33,065
I've been looking for that.
486
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,702
Hey, hey, Kyle? Uh,
487
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,870
why were you hiding from Mike
the other day?
488
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,406
I can't talk about it,
489
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:43,075
so please don't ask me
any questions.
490
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:46,078
-Okay. Okay.
-Right.
491
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:48,915
It's just I can't get into it.
492
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,082
Okay.
493
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:52,084
But don't worry,
it's not a bad thing.
494
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:54,287
All right.
495
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:56,489
'Cause, actually,
it's a good thing.
496
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,425
I mean, really good.
497
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:03,162
Scary, a little bit, but good.
498
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:05,264
And not, like,
"scary movie" scary.
499
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:08,501
-Just, like, "big life stuff"
way scary, you know? -Ah.
500
00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:11,438
But that's all I'm gonna say.
501
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:12,905
For now.
502
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,741
Eventually, you'll know.
503
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,108
It'll be obvious.
504
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,478
So obvious.
505
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:19,446
(mouths)
506
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,147
But that's all I can say,
507
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,683
so please,
if you can respect that.
508
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:34,293
I bet it's a boy.
509
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:35,762
(chicken clucks)
510
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,897
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
511
00:21:37,947 --> 00:21:42,497
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36883
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