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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:12,462 --> 00:01:14,475 The earth really did move then! 2 00:01:14,948 --> 00:01:18,523 - You felt that too? - You better get used to it, with me around, baby. 3 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:21,714 There must have been something... 4 00:01:22,418 --> 00:01:25,807 - My brothers says this place is cursed. - By sisters? 5 00:01:26,889 --> 00:01:30,711 If they catch me stoned, and screwing with a mainlander, there'll be trouble. 6 00:01:34,438 --> 00:01:36,679 Did you hear something? 7 00:01:37,020 --> 00:01:41,499 - Oh, shit, it could be them. - Chill, relax baby. 8 00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:41,519 - I'd better go. - Come back, baby! 9 00:01:41,539 --> 00:01:45,753 Oh look, I'd better go. You really don't want to meet my brothers 10 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:49,096 - Come back baby. Don't bail on me. - I'm sorry. 11 00:01:52,574 --> 00:01:54,677 Cripe! Fucking lightweight. 12 00:02:08,436 --> 00:02:12,032 Very funny, Cat. Real scary. 13 00:02:14,407 --> 00:02:17,572 Come on, baby. Why don't you come back. 14 00:02:17,711 --> 00:02:21,833 Let's have some more fun. I can make the earth move for you again... 15 00:02:36,582 --> 00:02:38,654 Oh, bollocks..! 16 00:02:49,442 --> 00:02:52,493 What sort of fucked up country shit is this? 17 00:02:57,147 --> 00:03:02,061 Is this your famous brothers idea of a joke, Cat? Cos it ain't funny! 18 00:03:02,231 --> 00:03:03,865 It ain't funny at all. 19 00:03:09,768 --> 00:03:12,145 Oh no, mate. What are you doing? 20 00:03:13,696 --> 00:03:15,777 You don't have to do that, honestly. 21 00:03:15,797 --> 00:03:17,467 God, God, can we talk about it? 22 00:03:17,487 --> 00:03:19,314 Honestly... God... You don't need to do that! 23 00:03:19,334 --> 00:03:20,296 Away with it! 24 00:03:20,316 --> 00:03:22,330 Please, wait...wait! 25 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:57,660 Until the government admits what they really know, 26 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,439 we'll keep crusading to uncover the truth on your behalf. 27 00:04:01,963 --> 00:04:03,506 So keep an open mind 28 00:04:03,526 --> 00:04:05,291 and your cameras ever handy. 29 00:04:09,722 --> 00:04:12,764 - What the fuck is that?! - What the hell? 30 00:04:17,179 --> 00:04:18,700 Where's my camera? 31 00:04:20,973 --> 00:04:25,342 No, no, yeah, we saw it, we saw it... It was awesome. It was like a mother ship... 32 00:04:25,362 --> 00:04:29,435 It was coming down from the sky. And it sounded "wo-wo-wo". 33 00:04:32,058 --> 00:04:37,853 Well, there's some pretty compelling evidence, proving further, that we, are not alone. 34 00:04:38,339 --> 00:04:41,856 For Weird Worlde. I'm Michelle Fox. 35 00:04:42,075 --> 00:04:44,779 Good night, stay strange and... 36 00:04:45,191 --> 00:04:47,610 ...keep watching the skies. 37 00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:52,721 - What is it, Howard? - I got last months figures here. 38 00:04:52,846 --> 00:04:55,807 Did our audience suddenly all die in a plane crash? 39 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,925 - We do all right.. - Do all right? 40 00:04:58,056 --> 00:04:59,836 What are you, high on life? 41 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,312 I mean the Mormon Shopping Channel gets more viewers than this. 42 00:05:03,332 --> 00:05:05,900 Listen, Michelle, either you deliver something special, 43 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,506 - or I replace you with someone who can. - OK, I get it! 44 00:05:09,637 --> 00:05:12,379 and hey, I didn't say I didn't have any ideas! 45 00:05:13,515 --> 00:05:16,535 ...right...ahem...no...no... 46 00:05:16,714 --> 00:05:21,682 OK, how about this? I've got a very strong lead on a recent alien abductee. 47 00:05:22,971 --> 00:05:26,976 Abduction is hardly original, is it? What's your angle on that then? 48 00:05:29,074 --> 00:05:34,399 Picture a backwater Welsh farmer's daughter. Here's the facts. 49 00:05:34,564 --> 00:05:36,816 She's young, she's sexy. 50 00:05:37,024 --> 00:05:40,573 She's abducted and now she's suddenly pregnant. 51 00:05:41,131 --> 00:05:47,055 Here's the kicker though: She claimed that this all happened just one week ago. 52 00:05:48,128 --> 00:05:51,293 - Look at the size of her stomach. - Who's the father? 53 00:05:51,762 --> 00:05:53,518 Please tell me it's E.T! 54 00:05:55,546 --> 00:06:01,451 I like it! Contact her, tell her you'll be over, and this is what we'll do. 55 00:06:01,683 --> 00:06:03,908 That camera-man you like so much... 56 00:06:04,901 --> 00:06:05,811 We're late. 57 00:06:05,831 --> 00:06:07,487 - ...what's his name? - Ricky. 58 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,964 Right! Let's shoot this fucker. 59 00:06:10,125 --> 00:06:11,730 Yeah, he's cheap. 60 00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:15,502 - Does he come with crew? - Well, he's got his sound-man mate, Jack. 61 00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:18,966 Marking. Scene 666. Take 1. 62 00:06:22,894 --> 00:06:25,672 - Action! - Die, motherfuckers! 63 00:06:28,436 --> 00:06:29,356 Fuck! 64 00:06:29,971 --> 00:06:33,360 Sounds perfect, that's your crew covered. 65 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:36,448 Now, what have you got in the way of experts? 66 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:45,768 There is this one guy, he keeps emailing the show with these ridiculously pedantic corrections. 67 00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:50,051 - I said "experts". - Oh, he is, complete anorak. 68 00:06:50,266 --> 00:06:52,259 Head of B.U.R.C., don't ya know. 69 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:56,165 Plus, urban nerd like that... I reckon he'll do it for free. 70 00:06:57,288 --> 00:07:01,226 Also, I want to see a reconstruction. Beef it up a bit. 71 00:07:01,262 --> 00:07:04,483 Get some actor who can play the alien and the boyfriend. 72 00:07:04,787 --> 00:07:08,816 My kingdom for a Babylonian whore, baby! 73 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,336 Get someone good. 74 00:07:14,647 --> 00:07:16,820 Yeah, what about the girl? 75 00:07:20,037 --> 00:07:23,230 Ah, let me guess? Candy? 76 00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:25,201 Oh, yeah! 77 00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:29,363 To Howard: "You bad bad boy!" Love, Candy. 78 00:07:29,663 --> 00:07:34,271 We use her because she's good. Not because she's my girlfriend. 79 00:07:34,718 --> 00:07:35,991 Oh, and Foxy... 80 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,855 For Christ's sake, make it sexy! 81 00:08:01,209 --> 00:08:02,759 Come on, inflato-boy. 82 00:08:02,779 --> 00:08:03,767 Listen. 83 00:08:05,046 --> 00:08:09,518 On location shoots that involve long drives, comfort is king. 84 00:08:09,571 --> 00:08:10,926 Don't be so embarrassed. 85 00:08:10,946 --> 00:08:14,835 Plenty of people suffer from 4 minute miles. They got creams for it nowadays. 86 00:08:14,867 --> 00:08:18,985 So why couldn't this fucking playstation be picked up in London, like everybody else? 87 00:08:19,142 --> 00:08:21,330 Well, he's doing some important research. 88 00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:23,485 I don't know, the guy's a nut! 89 00:08:31,083 --> 00:08:33,779 Oh, dear, what've we got ourselves into? 90 00:08:41,786 --> 00:08:43,630 You all right there, Mr. Gorman? 91 00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:46,913 - Michelle Fox! - Hi. 92 00:08:47,016 --> 00:08:49,145 Weird Worlde? Oh, oh, my God! 93 00:08:50,884 --> 00:08:55,513 - It's a real privilege to meet you, Miss Fox. - Michelle, please. 94 00:08:55,644 --> 00:08:58,058 Michelle... Wow! 95 00:08:58,284 --> 00:09:00,330 - Oh, oh, I really love the show. - That's great. 96 00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:04,148 Now, you won't believe some of the LEY-activity around here, Michelle. 97 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:08,598 Did I ever tell you about the time that I nearly collapsed a church, just by rerouting a LEY-line? 98 00:09:08,618 --> 00:09:11,987 - You see, I believe that LEY activity... - Yeah! 99 00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:15,917 Tell us about about it later though, Gavin. We're on a very, very tight deadline. 100 00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:18,500 We've gotta get to the island before the tide comes in. 101 00:09:18,603 --> 00:09:19,645 The tide? 102 00:09:21,654 --> 00:09:26,426 Sacallum is a remote Welch island 2 miles off the Len Peninsula. 103 00:09:26,446 --> 00:09:31,078 It's only accessible during low tide when you can drive across from the mainland 104 00:09:31,098 --> 00:09:35,362 along this tidal cause-way called the "Devil's Spine". 105 00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:39,954 We'll be lucky to have a spine left after this. 106 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:43,756 Geographically, the spine is amazing. It's on a major LEY-line, you know. 107 00:09:43,776 --> 00:09:44,871 Really! 108 00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:49,499 The island's owned by the Williams family. They've owned it for centuries. 109 00:09:49,608 --> 00:09:53,879 It's been farmed since ancient times. Unusually fertile ground. 110 00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:57,182 No shops, no neighbors, no pubs. 111 00:09:58,087 --> 00:10:02,177 And one of the most amazing stone-circles in the whole of Great Britain. 112 00:10:02,197 --> 00:10:05,277 Oh, it's going to be absolutely fascinating! Don't you think? 113 00:10:05,297 --> 00:10:07,797 Absolutely shit! I think. 114 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:09,114 No pubs! 115 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,696 Oh, man! Wales! 116 00:10:15,069 --> 00:10:17,892 TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT 117 00:10:39,454 --> 00:10:42,293 It's so dodging cold! 118 00:11:02,957 --> 00:11:05,143 They do know we're coming, right? 119 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,324 Maybe they've all been abducted? 120 00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:19,473 Hello? Miss Williams? 121 00:11:20,443 --> 00:11:22,049 Anyone? 122 00:11:22,278 --> 00:11:24,556 Welcome... to fuckin' Wales. 123 00:11:28,641 --> 00:11:31,897 I can't find the fucking light switch. Hang on. 124 00:11:33,929 --> 00:11:35,244 Hello? 125 00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:36,757 Anybody home? 126 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:46,595 Just the wind, sugar. 127 00:11:59,337 --> 00:12:00,257 Aw, shit! 128 00:12:08,371 --> 00:12:09,404 Nice... 129 00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,535 Jesus Christ! 130 00:12:14,756 --> 00:12:16,441 Fucking shit. 131 00:12:19,714 --> 00:12:22,537 Fabulous!... Dinner! 132 00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:25,737 Goldilocks, we're home! 133 00:12:26,907 --> 00:12:32,240 - Yeah, where's the three fuckin' bears, aye? - Oh, who cares? I'm starving. 134 00:12:36,076 --> 00:12:37,710 Shoot that for me. 135 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,079 What's with those gas masks? 136 00:12:54,915 --> 00:13:00,407 The military must have got here first. Our investigation is screwed. They'll bury this. 137 00:13:13,412 --> 00:13:16,234 Does anybody speak Welsh? 138 00:13:18,344 --> 00:13:23,456 - Excuse me. Ah, sirs, does anyone here speak english? - English?! 139 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:35,170 Does anyone here know Cat Williams? You see, I'm here to interview her for television, see. 140 00:13:37,312 --> 00:13:41,972 - Jesus Christ! Show him some fucking thing! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 141 00:13:42,438 --> 00:13:45,171 For fucks sake, stop! 142 00:13:49,632 --> 00:13:52,775 I must apologize about my brothers. They don't speak English. 143 00:13:52,795 --> 00:13:53,930 English! 144 00:13:54,811 --> 00:13:57,228 And they're not used to strangers. 145 00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:02,512 What's with the suits? 146 00:14:02,532 --> 00:14:06,018 We may be cut off here, but not everything's old-fashioned. 147 00:14:06,038 --> 00:14:09,218 We have a very progressive power-supply. Manure. 148 00:14:09,238 --> 00:14:10,074 What?! 149 00:14:10,289 --> 00:14:14,711 We collect the waste product from the livestock and keep it in a holding system out back. 150 00:14:15,007 --> 00:14:18,693 The hydrogen-sulphide it produces, powers this whole place. 151 00:14:18,948 --> 00:14:21,215 It needs a bit of maintenance, so... 152 00:14:22,076 --> 00:14:24,677 Fart-gas for power. I can see that catching on. 153 00:14:27,298 --> 00:14:31,035 - Can you give us the location fees you promised? - Here you go... 154 00:14:48,897 --> 00:14:53,816 I'm sorry, I was asleep when you arrived. I left you out some food. 155 00:14:55,934 --> 00:14:58,761 Local recipe. Mostly cow's brain. 156 00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:10,505 Right! Well, I think we could all do with some sleep. 157 00:15:10,525 --> 00:15:13,380 We've got a very busy day's filming, tomorrow. 158 00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:16,337 How long's it take to get to the Devil's Teeth? 159 00:15:31,174 --> 00:15:34,550 I'm afraid my brother's don't really approve of what I'm doing. 160 00:15:34,912 --> 00:15:40,320 - I hope they're not gonna be any trouble. - Me too. They're mostly harmless. 161 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:43,697 Oh, a fellow "Hitchhikers Guide" fan, I see? 162 00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:45,513 Yeah... 163 00:15:45,664 --> 00:15:47,552 What did your brothers say, back then? 164 00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:51,362 That they've seen bad omens in the sky. 165 00:15:51,946 --> 00:15:55,043 That no proper christian should go near those Devil's stones. 166 00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:57,251 It's a cursed place. 167 00:15:57,271 --> 00:16:00,707 Oh, oh, there's an intriguing old legend about the stones. 168 00:16:00,997 --> 00:16:03,801 They're reputably the upper gates of hell. 169 00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:06,691 Should the Devil ever manage to escape his prison... 170 00:16:06,761 --> 00:16:10,122 the stones themselves would cast him down from heaven. 171 00:16:17,378 --> 00:16:22,752 Man is still infinitely small in all these... 172 00:16:37,568 --> 00:16:39,465 Please, show me something. 173 00:16:40,591 --> 00:16:44,525 One UFO, or a glimpse of an EBE. Please... 174 00:16:55,524 --> 00:16:57,778 Oh shit, I've overslept! 175 00:17:02,749 --> 00:17:06,749 Huh? What the fuck..? 176 00:17:15,287 --> 00:17:19,050 The name's Gorman. Gavin Gorman. 177 00:17:19,259 --> 00:17:23,803 The only way that we can save your planet, is if we copulate. 178 00:17:40,822 --> 00:17:43,904 The dream... must get back to my dream... 179 00:17:44,255 --> 00:17:47,422 - Mr Gorman, please, wake up, please! - What's the matter! 180 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:51,552 You've got to believe me, I've just seen one of those FUO thingies. Quick! 181 00:17:52,756 --> 00:17:54,040 UFO! 182 00:18:10,075 --> 00:18:12,780 How's that for a fucking guy shot!? 183 00:18:13,707 --> 00:18:16,627 - Woof, woof, Pussy. - Look at it, big boy. 184 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,646 Oh, yeah! 185 00:18:28,130 --> 00:18:31,022 Ride Ricky's long legs! 186 00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:03,079 Jesus Christ!... Gavin, Candy?! Get the fuck out of here! 187 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:06,048 Dreadfully sorry to interrupt, but, but, but, ah... 188 00:19:06,225 --> 00:19:10,178 Candy... UFO... saw... grab your camera! 189 00:19:12,269 --> 00:19:13,864 Perhaps we should phone SETI? 190 00:19:13,884 --> 00:19:16,724 I don't suppose you happened to note down its quadrant in the sky? 191 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,297 Setee? Is that got to do with a sofa? 192 00:19:19,317 --> 00:19:22,613 No, no, no. SETI: The Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. 193 00:19:22,633 --> 00:19:26,981 Def lad, I don't think little miss tits'n ass is down with any kind of intelligence. 194 00:19:27,479 --> 00:19:28,812 She probably dreamt it. 195 00:19:29,612 --> 00:19:33,706 Page one of the actors handbook: Use your bleeding imagination! 196 00:19:34,194 --> 00:19:36,382 - No offense. - None taken! 197 00:19:45,066 --> 00:19:46,871 Who or what would do that? 198 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:54,125 - Maybe it's the visitors way of communicating? - Don't think the visitors would use standard 6" nails. 199 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,922 Now that's fucked up! 200 00:20:07,631 --> 00:20:11,247 Fuckin hell, that's fucking disgusting! 201 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:17,763 - My God, we can't leave it like that. - Someone's so gonna have to kill it. 202 00:20:22,209 --> 00:20:25,011 Come on guys, it'll be a mercy killing. 203 00:20:45,593 --> 00:20:49,518 You know, those farmers really freak me out... 204 00:21:07,411 --> 00:21:08,510 Oh! 205 00:21:25,462 --> 00:21:28,251 Thank you... Thank you! 206 00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:31,912 I knew you'd reveal something to me. 207 00:21:43,848 --> 00:21:46,694 As the head of British UFO Research Commitee... 208 00:21:47,445 --> 00:21:51,596 ...it is with great honor that I hereby welcome you to our humble planet. 209 00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:54,288 Um... Why not?... 210 00:21:55,179 --> 00:21:58,006 May you live long, and prosper. 211 00:22:07,782 --> 00:22:14,052 Wow, this is amazing, isn't it? A crop-circle. Real proof of alien visitation. 212 00:22:14,072 --> 00:22:18,388 Yeah, there's no doubt about aliens now. Looks like the porno queen was right, aye? 213 00:22:18,701 --> 00:22:20,352 First time for everything. 214 00:22:20,503 --> 00:22:23,189 Get your camera, Ricky, my lad. We need to film this! 215 00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,533 - This is proof. - Yeah, I wish that were true. 216 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:28,281 What do you mean, Gorman? This is your dream come true. 217 00:22:29,862 --> 00:22:32,778 No, it's a lie! You made the crop-circle with these. 218 00:22:32,798 --> 00:22:34,629 And don't tell me you don't know how to. 219 00:22:34,649 --> 00:22:36,618 - But we don't know how! - Oh, please, you had the usual... 220 00:22:36,638 --> 00:22:41,942 Doug & Dave art terrorism bit and how to make a crop circle on your own show last month! 221 00:22:43,426 --> 00:22:47,313 Yes, it's my dream to find real evidence of alien activity. 222 00:22:47,623 --> 00:22:49,630 You don't know how important that is to me. 223 00:22:49,650 --> 00:22:52,266 There's a lot of people out there who want there to be more 224 00:22:52,286 --> 00:22:55,501 to this world than their crappy 9 to 5 slavery. 225 00:22:55,521 --> 00:22:59,377 You should be ashamed of yourselves. I thought your show was the voice of truth. 226 00:22:59,397 --> 00:23:03,627 - You have a responsibility to the public. - Yeah, to entertain them! 227 00:23:03,647 --> 00:23:08,565 Try to understand my position. OK, in 2 years of reporting for the show, 228 00:23:08,603 --> 00:23:12,851 I've never seen a ghost, goblin, monster or a UFO. 229 00:23:13,468 --> 00:23:15,947 I'm sorry, but for me, this is just a living. 230 00:23:16,050 --> 00:23:19,550 If I don't get a hot story this week, then my show is finished. 231 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:23,525 - Do you want that? - I want the truth. 232 00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:26,673 Yeah, well the truth ain't out there. 233 00:23:27,152 --> 00:23:28,964 It's good job the aliens weren't real, 234 00:23:28,984 --> 00:23:32,727 you greeted to them with a line from fucking Star Trek, for fucks sake! 235 00:23:32,747 --> 00:23:38,538 As head of B.U.R.C. I could not let you film this as evidence of real alien activity! 236 00:23:38,558 --> 00:23:40,026 Well, we haven't yet. 237 00:23:42,104 --> 00:23:45,175 Nobody fucks with a UFO enthusiast! 238 00:24:17,284 --> 00:24:19,259 Oh, the bastard's ruined it! 239 00:24:19,279 --> 00:24:22,364 Why bother filming it now, they'll never let that one air. 240 00:24:22,476 --> 00:24:25,042 Pick it up before the watershed, Ricky. 241 00:24:28,562 --> 00:24:32,834 - Sorry for oversleeping. - Oh, don't worry, didn't miss a thing. 242 00:24:44,375 --> 00:24:45,267 Right! 243 00:24:45,408 --> 00:24:49,520 I'm sure we all want to get off this picture postcard paradise as quickly as possible 244 00:24:49,540 --> 00:24:51,217 so let's keep this tight, people. 245 00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:55,128 Actors, you wanna get suited, and Beauty Bill kick off with the interviews. 246 00:24:55,889 --> 00:24:59,274 Ricky? Ricky! Can you come over here a second, babe? 247 00:24:59,762 --> 00:25:02,638 I just wanna run over some, ah, technical things. 248 00:25:10,031 --> 00:25:11,233 That's odd... 249 00:25:11,568 --> 00:25:14,071 It's the complete opposite of Avebury. 250 00:25:18,015 --> 00:25:19,029 What's up? 251 00:25:21,424 --> 00:25:23,799 - Ow! - Fuckin' hell. 252 00:25:23,922 --> 00:25:26,136 You have some dodgy wiring there, don't you, mate? 253 00:25:26,156 --> 00:25:28,973 No, no, no, it's from the stones. 254 00:25:29,537 --> 00:25:34,320 The stone circles are known to receive energy. They power the LEY-lines. 255 00:25:34,340 --> 00:25:37,611 But this seems to be... emitting it. 256 00:25:38,438 --> 00:25:42,898 Sometimes you get this sort of activity when the site's connected to an underground tunnel. 257 00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:45,813 Oh, I'd love to get a look beneath this lady's skirt. 258 00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:48,505 I bet you would, you dirty bastard! 259 00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:01,096 Nice one. 260 00:26:04,844 --> 00:26:06,722 Bonza, let's shoot this fucker! 261 00:26:07,010 --> 00:26:12,043 So, Miss Williams, tell me exactly what happened on that horrific night. 262 00:27:31,660 --> 00:27:32,971 Hello... 263 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,349 But you and your boyfriend smoked a lot of pot that night. 264 00:27:36,369 --> 00:27:39,579 Are you sure you weren't just high and paranoid?! 265 00:27:44,918 --> 00:27:46,428 Paranoid? 266 00:27:50,477 --> 00:27:52,072 For fuck's sake, 267 00:27:52,092 --> 00:27:56,548 I was forced to watch him being brutally murdered, and could do nothing about it. 268 00:27:58,754 --> 00:28:01,731 I reported it and wasn't taken seriously. 269 00:28:03,158 --> 00:28:04,885 I thought you'd understand... 270 00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:08,225 Well, the police still have him listed as a missing person, 271 00:28:08,245 --> 00:28:11,050 and the body's never been found, has it? 272 00:28:11,149 --> 00:28:12,941 You think I killed him?! 273 00:28:13,506 --> 00:28:17,206 I'm just trying to understand what actually happened here. 274 00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:21,144 Yeah... 275 00:28:22,355 --> 00:28:25,520 I'm painfully aware of how ridiculous my story sounds. 276 00:28:26,114 --> 00:28:27,958 And the only reason I'm telling it to you, 277 00:28:28,175 --> 00:28:30,475 is to get money for an abortion 278 00:28:30,495 --> 00:28:33,593 or termination of whatever the fuck is alive inside me! 279 00:28:34,193 --> 00:28:39,271 Believe me, this isn't a pathetic cry for attention or a cheap shot at fame. 280 00:28:39,527 --> 00:28:42,250 Which no doubt is something you'd understand. 281 00:28:43,042 --> 00:28:44,460 So here's the deal... 282 00:28:44,918 --> 00:28:47,510 You wanna talk about alien-rapists. Fine... 283 00:28:47,848 --> 00:28:51,013 But making me look like some stupid back wood's slut 284 00:28:51,033 --> 00:28:54,937 with a drug problem just isn't gonna happen! Are we clear! 285 00:28:55,914 --> 00:28:59,661 Actually, I was gonna make you a lucrative offer to film the alien birth. 286 00:28:59,681 --> 00:29:00,816 Jesus! 287 00:29:02,218 --> 00:29:05,457 Still, that was great! Real emotion. Top television. 288 00:29:06,538 --> 00:29:08,162 Howard's gonna love it. 289 00:29:10,153 --> 00:29:12,247 - Did you hear that? - What, babe? 290 00:29:13,494 --> 00:29:18,668 - Oh no, come on, finish me off! - We're near the noises... I've got to go. 291 00:29:19,221 --> 00:29:21,477 So you run off over there... 292 00:29:28,357 --> 00:29:32,207 No....don't....don't....no...not me...no! 293 00:29:32,846 --> 00:29:34,856 OK, everyone, that's a wrap. 294 00:29:35,554 --> 00:29:38,458 Shame nothing real happened. Never does... 295 00:30:01,622 --> 00:30:04,667 - Fuckin' woman drivers, aye? - Yeah. 296 00:30:04,687 --> 00:30:07,550 Fuck you two. The bastard thing just cut out. 297 00:30:07,570 --> 00:30:09,973 I doubt the AA cover Hell island. 298 00:30:18,129 --> 00:30:19,819 OK, try it again. 299 00:30:22,434 --> 00:30:23,899 I can't understand it. 300 00:30:24,584 --> 00:30:25,907 Come on, baby. 301 00:30:26,030 --> 00:30:27,476 Why you so blue? 302 00:30:35,775 --> 00:30:38,883 What the fucking hell's the matter with our bovine chums? 303 00:30:40,034 --> 00:30:42,250 Yeah, something spooked 'em good. 304 00:30:43,770 --> 00:30:46,032 Let's go and have a look. Could be Gavin's mates. 305 00:30:46,052 --> 00:30:49,329 Fuck that! I'm a sound man, I don't do curious. 306 00:30:49,911 --> 00:30:50,860 Pussy. 307 00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:55,403 OK, try it again. 308 00:30:58,832 --> 00:31:00,785 You still not feeling well, love? 309 00:31:02,682 --> 00:31:04,107 Well, don't worry. 310 00:31:05,584 --> 00:31:07,152 The doctor is in. 311 00:31:15,981 --> 00:31:17,446 Give it another go! 312 00:31:27,569 --> 00:31:28,874 Shit! 313 00:31:31,144 --> 00:31:32,972 Fucking shit all over... 314 00:31:50,789 --> 00:31:53,436 Cattle mutilation is a common alien trait, ain't it, Gorman? 315 00:31:53,456 --> 00:31:58,645 Flattening crops is one thing, but mutilating cattle for the sake of a TV program... 316 00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:00,646 ...that's just sick! 317 00:32:00,666 --> 00:32:04,109 That's ridiculous! We didn't do this, Gavin! 318 00:32:04,129 --> 00:32:06,295 Well, whatever done it, done it recently. 319 00:32:13,929 --> 00:32:15,469 Did you see something? 320 00:32:18,427 --> 00:32:20,070 Oh, for God's sake! 321 00:32:25,532 --> 00:32:27,136 What did you see? 322 00:32:27,459 --> 00:32:30,920 - Was it reptilian or gray? - Pissed off, I'd say. 323 00:32:40,644 --> 00:32:44,353 Candy! Go, go, go! Go! 324 00:32:45,051 --> 00:32:47,961 Start the engine! Come on! Start the engine! 325 00:32:52,029 --> 00:32:54,009 Start...work...! 326 00:32:58,104 --> 00:32:59,193 Fucking hell! 327 00:33:06,445 --> 00:33:08,812 Start the engine! Come on! It'll work. 328 00:33:19,870 --> 00:33:22,837 Come on, Michelle, this isn't covered by our insurance! 329 00:33:22,857 --> 00:33:25,710 We're supposed to be responsible for the safety of these people. 330 00:33:26,594 --> 00:33:28,894 Well, I vote we get off this island now! 331 00:33:28,914 --> 00:33:31,796 I'm a character actor, not a fucking hero! 332 00:33:32,223 --> 00:33:34,415 I can't believe you people! 333 00:33:34,435 --> 00:33:37,401 This could be the most significant event of our century, 334 00:33:37,421 --> 00:33:39,095 perhaps all history! 335 00:33:39,536 --> 00:33:44,309 He's right. This is what we're here for. This story could change everything for us! 336 00:33:44,349 --> 00:33:47,456 Yeah, our status from living to dead! 337 00:33:54,338 --> 00:33:56,113 Show him the footage. 338 00:34:02,361 --> 00:34:06,192 Did you see something? What did you see? 339 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:07,891 Was it reptilian or... 340 00:34:14,911 --> 00:34:18,836 Well, they took that well... What do you think they got in mind? 341 00:35:12,454 --> 00:35:14,548 This is actually worth that tempo night. 342 00:35:14,617 --> 00:35:17,055 I'm so going to speak to my agent about this one. 343 00:35:17,176 --> 00:35:21,195 Yeah, but if they can't get you a better gig than funny socks, I wouldn't boff 'em. 344 00:35:21,457 --> 00:35:22,748 Hey, monkey-boy. 345 00:35:23,298 --> 00:35:26,080 This could be the chance of the lifetime, you know. 346 00:35:26,599 --> 00:35:28,458 We've gotta go back out there. 347 00:35:28,624 --> 00:35:32,745 Newsflash! We can get some real footage of aliens here! 348 00:35:32,765 --> 00:35:35,671 Not the usual fuzzy out-of-focus amateur shit. 349 00:35:36,364 --> 00:35:40,101 Have you any idea how much the world wide rights would be worth? 350 00:35:41,067 --> 00:35:43,113 That's a lot of bananas! 351 00:35:46,488 --> 00:35:47,756 Nice weapon. 352 00:36:03,593 --> 00:36:04,457 Fuck! 353 00:36:10,089 --> 00:36:15,396 Question: Where in Hades do the love couple think they're driving off to? 354 00:36:18,852 --> 00:36:22,801 What? Deserting us here? Huh! Meteor ass wipes. 355 00:36:23,262 --> 00:36:27,844 - Come on bitch, what you talking about? - Oh yeah, nice mates, leaving you here! 356 00:36:29,098 --> 00:36:31,877 At least we'll be safe here darling. 357 00:36:32,363 --> 00:36:36,784 Although, perhaps a sneaky little drink to calm our nerves, yes? 358 00:36:43,378 --> 00:36:46,937 - What the hell is this?! - Local brew. 359 00:36:47,059 --> 00:36:49,598 Too much for gay city slickers? 360 00:36:53,589 --> 00:36:57,833 Yes...well... at least I'll never get pregnant! 361 00:36:57,936 --> 00:36:59,580 Loser! 362 00:37:04,716 --> 00:37:07,038 Oh, come on, Ricky. We need to film. 363 00:37:07,204 --> 00:37:09,723 Fuckin' hell..! 364 00:37:16,516 --> 00:37:18,760 The air taste like shit in here! 365 00:37:19,816 --> 00:37:22,943 Yeah, it's even worse than manure ville farm. 366 00:37:29,218 --> 00:37:32,467 I don't even wanna know how this technology works! 367 00:37:33,781 --> 00:37:35,455 Three seater model. 368 00:37:35,924 --> 00:37:38,882 Naught to light-speed in about 6.2 seconds. 369 00:37:39,569 --> 00:37:41,226 All the latest in ah... 370 00:37:42,527 --> 00:37:44,236 brain steering. 371 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,820 Well, at least we know how many aliens are out there now. 372 00:37:57,926 --> 00:37:58,734 Right! 373 00:37:58,940 --> 00:38:02,480 The mainland police say that they don't have a protocol for an alien invasion, 374 00:38:02,696 --> 00:38:05,528 but he wished us a nice evening. The bastards! 375 00:38:05,706 --> 00:38:08,063 Oh! I think that's kind of sweet. 376 00:38:16,282 --> 00:38:19,803 Did you see that? Her nose just lite up like a fuckin' christmas tree. 377 00:38:19,823 --> 00:38:23,268 Amazing! It's an implant! 378 00:38:23,890 --> 00:38:26,832 They're either got her on a tracking device up there, or... 379 00:38:27,383 --> 00:38:31,087 ...on some kind of remote control. 380 00:38:43,246 --> 00:38:48,621 - Do you think this is a good idea? - I think it will be safer for us all if we get it out. 381 00:39:05,685 --> 00:39:08,069 Too much for gay city slickers, aye? 382 00:39:08,529 --> 00:39:11,073 Looks like the locals get smashed on it too. 383 00:39:32,853 --> 00:39:34,665 "It's show time, kids!" 384 00:39:38,432 --> 00:39:40,094 "You'll burn in hell." 385 00:40:13,855 --> 00:40:15,385 Come on, Cat. 386 00:40:17,023 --> 00:40:18,845 Time to get in the game. 387 00:40:27,338 --> 00:40:30,878 Got to sort my head out. 388 00:44:02,416 --> 00:44:07,181 This is Michelle Fox, reporting from on board an actual alien craft. 389 00:44:07,953 --> 00:44:09,284 Wow! 390 00:44:09,905 --> 00:44:11,079 Oh, man... 391 00:44:11,694 --> 00:44:15,065 This stuff really is amazing, isn't it?! 392 00:44:15,539 --> 00:44:16,553 Wow! 393 00:44:20,121 --> 00:44:21,343 Oh, shit! 394 00:44:21,363 --> 00:44:22,105 Oops. 395 00:44:22,574 --> 00:44:26,718 - What the fuck are you doin'?! - Well, hand me the money and I'll let you know! 396 00:44:28,803 --> 00:44:31,555 Jesus fuckin' Christ, what the fuck is that?! 397 00:44:32,093 --> 00:44:32,900 Just 398 00:44:33,370 --> 00:44:34,121 keep 399 00:44:34,562 --> 00:44:35,727 filming. 400 00:44:39,598 --> 00:44:40,954 That's a good boy! 401 00:44:42,117 --> 00:44:43,885 Come on. Sit, boy! 402 00:44:46,355 --> 00:44:47,493 Little bastard! 403 00:44:47,513 --> 00:44:49,305 Jesus Christ! Help get it off! 404 00:44:49,325 --> 00:44:51,399 - Wait...I'm... - Fuckin' hell! 405 00:44:51,709 --> 00:44:52,770 Nice doggie. 406 00:44:54,188 --> 00:44:55,371 Roll over! 407 00:44:55,962 --> 00:44:57,624 Play....dead! 408 00:45:04,872 --> 00:45:07,579 Let's get away from here, before the owners miss Fido. 409 00:45:09,029 --> 00:45:11,468 Jesus, you fuckin' rocked back there, babe. 410 00:45:11,624 --> 00:45:13,751 - Thanks - It's OK. 411 00:45:14,030 --> 00:45:15,671 I fuckin' hate pets! 412 00:45:17,925 --> 00:45:21,211 I think we should go outside and take a look. This is a chance for contact. 413 00:45:21,390 --> 00:45:25,051 Yeah, great! Let's go out and duke it out with the monsters from outer space! 414 00:45:25,220 --> 00:45:27,535 Actually, they prefer to be called "visitors". 415 00:45:27,555 --> 00:45:30,408 Yeah, like you'd know, cos you read it on fuckin' Internet! 416 00:45:30,608 --> 00:45:33,960 - Hey, don't pick on him just cos he's braver than you. - Oh, shut up! 417 00:45:36,588 --> 00:45:38,117 - Aah! - What bravery! 418 00:45:38,137 --> 00:45:42,860 Oh, my God, you guys have got to see this! You will not believe what those farmers have done! 419 00:45:51,947 --> 00:45:55,434 This might not bode well for inter-species harmony, but... 420 00:45:55,604 --> 00:45:56,966 ...they're real!! 421 00:45:57,482 --> 00:45:59,698 Aliens are real! 422 00:46:00,706 --> 00:46:03,981 Thank you! Thank you, lord! 423 00:46:04,545 --> 00:46:09,371 Yea, hallelujah! Don't say you never "told you so", Gorman. Don't hold back or nothin'. 424 00:46:12,441 --> 00:46:15,295 Excuse me! Before we start the picnic, 425 00:46:15,783 --> 00:46:18,366 why do you think it's safe for us to swan about out here? 426 00:46:18,479 --> 00:46:23,099 We saw their ship. It seats 3 and we've now seen three alien corpses. 427 00:46:23,119 --> 00:46:27,016 - We're fine. - So where are our heroic farming chums now, then? 428 00:46:27,374 --> 00:46:31,120 Well, they were burning the other two alien bodies over there somewhere. 429 00:47:02,576 --> 00:47:03,555 Cat? 430 00:47:36,904 --> 00:47:39,914 - Sounds like trouble. - Let's go check it out. 431 00:47:40,407 --> 00:47:41,364 Great! 432 00:48:00,084 --> 00:48:01,145 Jesus. 433 00:48:29,854 --> 00:48:33,023 Oh, man, this is bad! We gotta get out of here, now! 434 00:48:33,757 --> 00:48:37,485 Ditto, Sweeties. This is just getting too real for me. 435 00:48:38,377 --> 00:48:41,953 Those farmers looked pretty macho. What chance have we got? 436 00:48:44,558 --> 00:48:47,018 Gorman! Fuck, don't do that! 437 00:48:47,378 --> 00:48:51,763 Hurts on the farmers! You said there were none of these ET things left alive! 438 00:48:51,913 --> 00:48:55,162 Perhaps we was wrong about the amount of aliens on that ship. 439 00:48:55,763 --> 00:48:58,687 - Perhaps Fido had a bigger brother? - Fido? 440 00:48:59,330 --> 00:49:02,701 Yeah, weird sort of killer pet... 441 00:49:02,832 --> 00:49:05,109 Oh, I wish I could have seen that. What did it look like? 442 00:49:05,129 --> 00:49:08,617 Excuse me, Gorman. I think we've got more pressing concerns! 443 00:49:08,637 --> 00:49:10,451 - We should get back to the mini-bus. - Yeah. 444 00:49:11,068 --> 00:49:14,045 For safety, arm up with whatever you can find. 445 00:49:17,349 --> 00:49:20,999 Gorman, you're the alien expert. How do we beat these fuckers? 446 00:49:21,114 --> 00:49:25,189 These are the first aliens I've ever met, but I think the farmers over reacted. 447 00:49:25,507 --> 00:49:31,797 - We should try and communicate with them. - I think it's a little late to try and win them over, honey! 448 00:49:36,425 --> 00:49:38,470 Here, why didn't I get a weapon? 449 00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:42,973 These are our weapons. We're pro's. 450 00:49:46,121 --> 00:49:49,849 I don't know what dream you're dreamin', but I ain't buying it, Sunshine. 451 00:49:52,381 --> 00:49:53,525 OK, look... 452 00:49:53,911 --> 00:49:57,447 At most, there can only be one alien left on the prowl. 453 00:49:57,561 --> 00:50:00,317 Yeah? You better make that two. 454 00:50:00,897 --> 00:50:02,484 Jesus is missing. 455 00:50:03,505 --> 00:50:09,351 - Oh, well. Lucky I've got me boom pole, aye? You fuckin'... - Secure that shit, Campbell! 456 00:50:09,595 --> 00:50:13,799 Guys! Keep it together. We really shouldn't be making all this noise. 457 00:50:15,543 --> 00:50:17,138 - Fuck! - Jesus Christ! 458 00:50:17,365 --> 00:50:18,803 Sorry, loveys... 459 00:50:21,644 --> 00:50:23,146 I'm blind! 460 00:50:29,546 --> 00:50:32,921 Quick, get everyone back to the bus! I'll try and hold them off. 461 00:50:40,530 --> 00:50:44,200 For fucks sake, Gorman! Spark up that chainsaw! 462 00:51:02,867 --> 00:51:05,354 Never thought I'd be pleased to see him! 463 00:51:05,488 --> 00:51:08,032 - Ahh, my fuckin' eyes! - Get him out of here! 464 00:51:08,230 --> 00:51:09,816 Get me out of here. 465 00:51:09,836 --> 00:51:13,901 Can you get my cane?! I do actually feel safer with it. 466 00:51:15,077 --> 00:51:17,444 Get me out... Get me the fuck out of it. 467 00:51:17,464 --> 00:51:20,917 - Oh, fuck! - OK, everybody meet us back at the bus. 468 00:51:50,484 --> 00:51:52,771 I thought I had a death scene there. 469 00:52:18,094 --> 00:52:22,841 - Oh, my God, we can't leave him like that. - Wounds that bad, he's good as dead. 470 00:52:22,954 --> 00:52:25,492 Well, someone's got to do something! 471 00:52:31,378 --> 00:52:36,187 Just think, this footage, it isn't just gonna make us rich, 472 00:52:36,351 --> 00:52:38,116 it's gonna win us awards! 473 00:52:38,460 --> 00:52:43,620 Yeah, which our ghosts will collect posthumously, if we don't fuckin' leave! 474 00:52:43,996 --> 00:52:48,156 Guys, come on, relax. We're gonna get through this. 475 00:52:52,547 --> 00:52:55,214 - Oh, fuck! - What? What happened? 476 00:52:55,862 --> 00:52:59,205 - One of them just got Foxy! - Oh, shit. 477 00:53:00,529 --> 00:53:03,008 - I've got to go and get her. - No, Rick! 478 00:53:03,318 --> 00:53:05,834 Fuck, if they've got her, she's dead. 479 00:53:06,220 --> 00:53:10,483 You go off on your own, you're dead. You leave me here on my own, and I'm dead. 480 00:53:10,908 --> 00:53:15,433 The only chance we got of living through this is to get to the bus, now! 481 00:53:15,743 --> 00:53:17,132 You know I'm right! 482 00:53:18,487 --> 00:53:19,761 Are you OK? 483 00:53:21,491 --> 00:53:22,477 No. 484 00:53:41,271 --> 00:53:44,182 Thanks for fuckin' waiting, you wankers! 485 00:53:48,645 --> 00:53:51,321 Hey, where's Michelle? Or would you sell her out, too? 486 00:53:51,341 --> 00:53:54,354 I guess they realised what a phony she was after all, huh. 487 00:53:54,374 --> 00:53:57,650 Fuck you, playstation! You don't know anything about her! 488 00:53:57,772 --> 00:53:59,940 Does anyone wanna switch seats? 489 00:54:16,078 --> 00:54:18,303 Bet anyone 50 quid it won't start. 490 00:54:57,299 --> 00:54:59,161 I did that! 491 00:55:06,055 --> 00:55:07,529 Just to be sure. 492 00:55:12,403 --> 00:55:14,478 Whoopee-fuckin'-doo! 493 00:55:14,779 --> 00:55:17,148 We managed to kill one whole alien! 494 00:55:17,427 --> 00:55:19,503 Im-fuckin'-pressive! 495 00:55:23,963 --> 00:55:25,477 Where's Gavin gone? 496 00:55:25,767 --> 00:55:30,072 - He must be dead. We're all gonna die here! - You can stop that shit, right now, mate! 497 00:55:30,092 --> 00:55:33,659 Foxy died for a stupid TV show. Was it worth it, aye? 498 00:55:37,790 --> 00:55:40,898 Oh, come on, guys! At least we've got wheels. 499 00:55:41,350 --> 00:55:43,678 Surely things can't get any worse. 500 00:55:44,825 --> 00:55:48,049 What the fuck? Do they still have earthquakes in Wales? 501 00:55:48,204 --> 00:55:52,913 - It's not an earthquake! - Of course it fuckin' is, the ground's shaking! 502 00:55:55,042 --> 00:55:57,125 - Oh! - Oh, what? 503 00:55:57,145 --> 00:56:00,437 - What's happening? - We're gonna need a bigger boat. 504 00:56:00,611 --> 00:56:01,742 What?! 505 00:56:32,609 --> 00:56:34,065 It's beautiful! 506 00:57:05,228 --> 00:57:08,993 Hey, it's like a giant mobile phone on charge. 507 00:57:18,228 --> 00:57:20,801 Oh oh! This doesn't look good! 508 00:57:29,817 --> 00:57:31,629 Behind us! Behind us! 509 00:58:32,688 --> 00:58:34,547 Ow! Shit! 510 00:58:45,296 --> 00:58:46,395 Yow!.. 511 00:58:46,564 --> 00:58:48,863 Fuckin' hell! What was that?! 512 00:58:53,278 --> 00:58:55,513 Wahoo! How's that?! 513 00:58:55,804 --> 00:58:59,097 - That's a six! How's that? - Oh, really? 514 00:59:04,097 --> 00:59:05,196 Fuckin' hell. 515 00:59:06,283 --> 00:59:08,388 Aw, shit! Love! 516 00:59:08,408 --> 00:59:10,032 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 517 00:59:10,052 --> 00:59:11,524 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 518 00:59:11,544 --> 00:59:12,642 Fuck! Fuck! 519 00:59:12,662 --> 00:59:14,850 Fuck! Fuck! 520 00:59:15,113 --> 00:59:19,092 - Oh, I should have fuckin' seen that one coming! - What? Seen what? 521 00:59:24,229 --> 00:59:26,634 Oh, fucking... God hates us! 522 00:59:26,747 --> 00:59:30,014 Oh, we just have to wait for the tide to go out, then we can leave. 523 00:59:30,328 --> 00:59:34,816 Fuckin' cuntsy wag! I want out of this chicken shit unit and off this rock! 524 00:59:34,919 --> 00:59:37,671 Oh, yeah, and how the fuck you gonna do that, Houdini? 525 01:01:17,885 --> 01:01:22,643 Please, be gentle with me! It's my first time. 526 01:02:33,310 --> 01:02:35,595 Don't...please... 527 01:02:37,962 --> 01:02:39,135 No....! 528 01:02:41,329 --> 01:02:43,874 Don't...please... 529 01:03:01,184 --> 01:03:02,602 Aww...! 530 01:03:03,813 --> 01:03:08,410 Shame I didn't have a camera. I could interview you... 531 01:03:08,449 --> 01:03:10,720 ...to find out how you feel. 532 01:03:19,455 --> 01:03:20,554 Oh, God. 533 01:03:28,537 --> 01:03:29,458 Gavin! 534 01:03:30,528 --> 01:03:32,492 Oh! Oh, thank God! 535 01:03:32,591 --> 01:03:36,764 Please. Please. Help me! You gotta get me out of here. 536 01:03:36,784 --> 01:03:40,735 Oh, "Gavin", is it now? Well, laddie-da. 537 01:03:41,182 --> 01:03:45,721 Don't you remember earlier? The way you treated that poor girl Cat and her "crazy story"? 538 01:03:46,168 --> 01:03:48,882 Well, lookie what "miss crazy" just did to you! 539 01:03:49,370 --> 01:03:51,633 Please, Gavin. I'm sorry, I... 540 01:03:52,198 --> 01:03:56,847 I know I was...out-of-order to everyone, but I was just doing a job! 541 01:03:56,867 --> 01:04:01,367 Oh, jobs worth, are we? You know what I'd call this moment? 542 01:04:01,929 --> 01:04:04,314 Poetic justice. 543 01:04:05,233 --> 01:04:09,487 Sorry, I'm gonna leave you here to rot. Bye, bye! 544 01:04:10,088 --> 01:04:10,933 No... 545 01:04:20,292 --> 01:04:21,737 Just kidding! 546 01:04:22,257 --> 01:04:26,407 What? You didn't really think I was gonna go off, did you? 547 01:04:27,168 --> 01:04:29,346 Oh, Gavin! Thank God. 548 01:04:36,168 --> 01:04:38,337 Come on, man, you're breaking up the band! 549 01:04:38,357 --> 01:04:42,435 I'm sorry I'd rather die drowning than be alien probed and ripped to pieces! 550 01:04:42,537 --> 01:04:45,429 - Still, each to his own, aye? - Mate, we've gotta get back to the bus! 551 01:04:45,449 --> 01:04:47,465 This place is gonna be swarming soon. 552 01:04:47,485 --> 01:04:49,954 We'd be better of barricading ourselves up at the farm. 553 01:04:49,974 --> 01:04:52,900 That's just "Day of the Dead" without the helicopter! 554 01:04:53,525 --> 01:04:55,929 Oh, man, I told you Wales was shit! 555 01:04:56,896 --> 01:05:00,840 - You can barely see, mate! - I don't need to be able to see to swim straight! 556 01:05:00,860 --> 01:05:05,161 - Fighting those currents is suicide! - So's staying here! I'm sorry, mate! 557 01:05:05,841 --> 01:05:07,453 - Bye! - Hold on. 558 01:05:08,088 --> 01:05:09,835 - Take one of these. - Yeah. 559 01:05:10,088 --> 01:05:12,933 Proof that you're not completely mad, if you make it. 560 01:05:16,262 --> 01:05:17,013 Look, man... 561 01:05:18,262 --> 01:05:21,079 - I'll buy you a pint on the other side, aye. - Yeah. 562 01:05:22,253 --> 01:05:23,596 It's been special. 563 01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,568 Right. Go on. 564 01:06:27,872 --> 01:06:28,824 Fuck! 565 01:06:49,665 --> 01:06:51,228 GOD HATES TREK 566 01:06:53,212 --> 01:06:56,466 Come on, England! Come to papa! 567 01:07:02,692 --> 01:07:04,073 We're lost. 568 01:07:04,513 --> 01:07:07,255 This whole ship looks exactly the same. 569 01:07:13,714 --> 01:07:20,484 - Oh, what in Roddenberry's name is that?! - Fido! It's Fido! 570 01:07:20,852 --> 01:07:24,428 Well, this is the scout ship! It must have gone right to the middle. 571 01:07:25,053 --> 01:07:27,617 Great! So what we gonna do, fly out? 572 01:07:36,381 --> 01:07:38,721 Not so hard! Gentle. 573 01:07:39,123 --> 01:07:42,963 She obviously responds to a bit of, you know... fore-play. 574 01:07:55,827 --> 01:07:58,703 Ho, ho, ho, it's working! 575 01:08:10,273 --> 01:08:11,473 Go up! 576 01:08:11,493 --> 01:08:12,225 Up 577 01:08:13,173 --> 01:08:14,357 Up! Up! 578 01:08:16,601 --> 01:08:17,456 Go up! 579 01:08:24,316 --> 01:08:27,262 Oh, this is just cracking! 580 01:08:27,736 --> 01:08:31,479 Gavin, I'd like to stay on earth. 581 01:08:55,047 --> 01:08:56,277 Die! 582 01:09:01,338 --> 01:09:02,446 Come on! 583 01:09:03,865 --> 01:09:08,203 I can't see a fuckin' thing! We're gonna have to make the rest of the way on foot, guys. 584 01:09:10,474 --> 01:09:11,329 OK. 585 01:09:12,727 --> 01:09:14,154 Here, take this. 586 01:09:17,337 --> 01:09:18,145 Right! 587 01:09:19,004 --> 01:09:20,290 Get ready for this. 588 01:10:47,790 --> 01:10:50,430 - Shit, we're out of ammo! - Brain 'em. 589 01:10:50,608 --> 01:10:53,869 Go for the helmets. Seems they don't like our air anyway. 590 01:11:05,052 --> 01:11:06,149 Wow! 591 01:11:06,169 --> 01:11:08,646 - What is that thing? - Salvation. 592 01:11:09,086 --> 01:11:13,208 What say we go harvest some aliens? Hey, farmer, do you know how to drive that thing? 593 01:11:15,310 --> 01:11:17,169 How difficult can it be? 594 01:11:24,079 --> 01:11:25,037 Dials... 595 01:11:28,914 --> 01:11:29,994 Key...key... 596 01:11:36,735 --> 01:11:37,997 Ready to go. 597 01:11:38,811 --> 01:11:41,853 Ummm....right. 598 01:11:56,442 --> 01:11:59,494 Come on, you bastards! Come at me! 599 01:12:00,226 --> 01:12:02,555 Suck on my fat combine! 600 01:13:09,025 --> 01:13:09,879 Huh? 601 01:13:10,988 --> 01:13:12,245 Ohh... 602 01:13:12,387 --> 01:13:13,560 Shit...! 603 01:16:00,561 --> 01:16:02,450 Oh, fuck it! 604 01:16:16,402 --> 01:16:18,609 Oh, my God. That was awesome. 605 01:16:46,001 --> 01:16:48,048 Oh, shit. Which way? 606 01:17:50,049 --> 01:17:51,617 Oh, sorry Ricky. 607 01:18:02,646 --> 01:18:05,764 I've got a really bad feeling about this. 608 01:18:19,491 --> 01:18:20,341 Whoops! 609 01:18:29,881 --> 01:18:32,585 Have you actually passed your test, Gorman? 610 01:18:38,507 --> 01:18:39,834 Where's Ricky? 611 01:18:40,551 --> 01:18:42,607 He never gives up his tapes. 612 01:18:45,260 --> 01:18:47,092 Did he have some sort of plan? 613 01:19:06,802 --> 01:19:07,948 That's done it! 614 01:19:08,652 --> 01:19:11,300 You wanna fuck with her, extra? Come on then! 615 01:19:38,911 --> 01:19:40,396 Oh, shit. 616 01:20:22,946 --> 01:20:23,923 Fuck! 617 01:20:49,808 --> 01:20:51,526 Eat shit! 618 01:21:23,160 --> 01:21:26,634 What is the point in doing that? It never works in zombie movies! 619 01:21:26,916 --> 01:21:27,996 Well... 620 01:23:14,862 --> 01:23:17,321 Michelle, they're controlling you. 621 01:23:17,398 --> 01:23:21,510 You've got to fight it! I know the real you can hear me. 622 01:23:25,351 --> 01:23:26,652 Maybe not..! 623 01:23:26,757 --> 01:23:27,831 You wanker! 624 01:25:08,178 --> 01:25:10,155 It's incredible. 625 01:26:20,943 --> 01:26:23,554 Press space-bar to activate. 626 01:26:47,126 --> 01:26:50,928 You, and your alien mates, are fucked! 627 01:28:13,605 --> 01:28:16,947 No alien mother fucker gets the better of Jack Campbell! 628 01:28:19,836 --> 01:28:20,811 Where's the..? 629 01:28:22,118 --> 01:28:23,864 Bollocks! 630 01:30:44,743 --> 01:30:47,662 Translation: AntiJw Updated 11-20-2010. 50075

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