All language subtitles for Brockmire 4x06 - The Hall (English)

Dad, you can't keep crying

at every single made-up milestone,

- before graduation.
- Sure I can.

Previously, on 'Brockmire'.

Oh, wow.

You know my daughter less than 24 hours.

you already got her
into a drunken brawl,

that ended in gunplay.

While you're on your high horse,

Answer me this.

How'd all your memories of Manila

suddenly come flooding back to you.

You told me you couldn't
remember anything.

What was I supposed to say?

"Sorry, Beth,
I don't remember your mother."

"I was black out drunk the night
you were conceived."

'Cause I know,
that's great parenting advice.

Can I help you?

- Jim Brockmire?
- Yeah.

For your major contributions
to sports journalism,

you've been selected as an inductee

to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Oh, my God, are you serious?

Who are you two?
You from the Hall of Fame?

No, we're with Limon Fav�r.

The hall emailed you, but Limon
thought you might appreciate

getting this news from an actual human.

So I'm, uh... I'm supposed
to hug you now.

No, that won't be necessary,
thank you very much.

I mean, I have a family and everything.

I'm alone at this very moment because

just chased away the love of my life

and my daughter's not returning

my goddamn phone calls for some reason,

but other than that, I'm fine.

Really, so thank you very much.

No, no, I... I have to hug you
to get the credits.

Jesus, okay, what the hell, huh?

Hey, can you stop clapping, please?

Thanks.

No, wait, wait,
Limon was right. I need this.

God, the Hall of Fame, my God!

It's the culmination of my career, man,

my life, really,

all the highs and the lows

and the heavens and the scum.

My life's come full circle.

Baseball is just

welcoming me home.

- I'm sorry.
- Shh, shh, it's okay.

Just... just go ahead
and, you know, let it all out.

I earn more credits if you cry.

- I'm sorry.
- Okay.

I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry.

Good job.

Oh, oh, God.

Get out.

Uh, Limon, call Beth again, please.

Beth is not available.

Do you want to leave a message?

Sure.

Uh, hey, sweetie, it's me.

Uh, I'd love to hear from ya
'cause I love you

and I'd also love to confirm
that you're coming

to the culmination of my life's work.

I don't want to put pressure,
but that is

literally what today is,

so, uh...

Anywhoodles, uh, well, call me back.

Thank you.

Ready for your speech, Commissioner?

Oh, I should be.
Wrote this thing 25 years ago.

Never been lacking in
self-confidence or nose hair,

both of which make strangers
really uncomfortable.

Okay, let's talk running order.

Buster Posey will go first,

and then it's you
followed by Lance Kucher,

who is being introduced by his dad,

who seems like such a sweet old man.

Oh, the guy's a peach, yeah.

And is your daughter
still introducing you?

Absolutely, she is gonna crush it.

I don't like to brag...

But I, I actually, love to do it...

but she's three-time
state debate team champion.

Yep, she sounds great, and is she here?

Not at the moment, no.
Nowhere in sight.

Okay, uh, maybe we should
flip the order

- and put you up after Lance.
- Whoa, what?

Kooch Senior?

Guy's a horrible monster, please.

You said he was a peach.

Yeah, I was being polite.

The man has a real "Clint Eastwood"

"with tinnitus" vibe about him,

plus you can bet that
that speech of his

is gonna get real racist
and I mean real fast.

But he said he was just
gonna speak from the heart.

That's where his hatred lives,

right there in his heart.

Look, Kooch's wife is Scotch-Irish.

He refers to her
as mixed race, so, no, no,

I cannot have Kooch Senior's shit stink

still in the air when I hit the stage.

I mean, it's my legacy
we're talking about here.

- Commissioner.
- Yeah?

Beth has been unreachable

for this entire process.

Is this gonna be a problem?

No, absolutely not.

She responded to my long and sincere

Limon invite with a "K,"

- and she's a woman of her word.
- K.

In this case her...

Passive-aggressive single letter.

Oh, thank God.

Never had a doubt.

God, it's good to see ya,

and you have bangs.

Really, we're going with

bangs on a day that's
gonna be immortalized

for all eternity?

'Cause I... I thought I made my

tonsorial beliefs on that matter

just exceedingly clear
throughout the year.

Yeah, you always referred to them

as the Devil's curtains.

So you do remember.

So that was intentional.

No time to focus on that, though.

Gotta read your speech
because I want to make sure

we don't overlap or anything, you know.

Aha, okay, that's the speech?

Yes, this is the speech,
but I want to be clear:

- this is the one that I'm giving.
- I understand.

I just, uh, wanna make sure

we're not using the same anecdotes.

You know,
I call dibs on the time that we were

snowed in on that merry-go-round.

All right, Hall of Fame speech.

"My father, Jim Brockmire,"

"is a hall of fame asshole."

No, you're starting 'em
off with a laugh.

That's great, okay.

Can't wait to see how you buy it back.

Okay, still no buy back.

Skip ahead a little here.

Okay, page three,

and we are just getting meaner

and more specific.

And what is the graph?
What's this graph?

That's a timeline,

of the election that
I fixed in Thailand.

Are you kidding me?

I told you that in confidence.
What's the matter with you?

You know, this whole speech
is filled with such vitriol,

it's like it's only purpose
is to hurt me.

So you don't like it.

It's like it's the bangs of speeches.

Are you upset with me or something?

Should I be upset with you?

Oh, boy,
answering a question with a question,

is never a sign that everything

is just super chill, now, is it?

Well, you know,

it really wasn't easy
summarizing your legacy,

but I did my research

and everything in that speech, it's...

It's factual.

Beth, we're standing here
in Cooperstown

because a con man named Abner Doubleday

spun a lot of bullshit
that he invented baseball here.

I mean, this place
is literally built on lies.

But you know what? That's okay

because it's become part
of a larger American myth.

This is a temple,

built on ground that we
all decided was sacred,

and this speech,
it's a desecration, darling.

I mean, you wouldn't
run around the Vatican

shouting that Jesus
was just some magician

who did his tricks for free,
now, would you?

Comparing yourself to Jesus?

You know, at least I'd never

overthrow the tables
of the money changers.

I mean, some poor guy

is handing out microloans
to his community

has to have his whole day ruined

'cause Jesus just gotta be the big man.

- I mean, what's that shit?
- You know, just maybe,

it's time this place
stops being built on lies.

Maybe it's time that
we point out a few things,

you know, like, oh, Tom Yawkey,

malignant racist who refused
to integrate the Red Sox.

Right? And Ty Cobb, he...

he tried to murder an armless
fan during a game once.

Hey, right now,
we're in the Ty Cobb Room.

Society, it's...

It's crumbling,

because we continue to excuse

awful behavior and
choose the most palatable,

convenient version of the truth but...

Hey I'm not gonna be a participant

in another whitewashing of the past.

I'm just keeping it Brockmire.

Well, you got me there.

The cornerstone of my parenting

has always been brutal honesty.

But you know what, right now,

I got a brown bear
knocking on my back door,

so I gotta hit the head,
but hold that thought.

I want to continue this conversation.

Limon, please call Charles.

Charles is unavailable.

Why don't you leave him a message?

Charles, where are you, man?

Beth is freaking out.

She's on this... this crazy truth kick.

She's gonna embarrass
the hell out of me

with her introduction speech,

so I may need you
to step in and just...

Jim Brockmire?

I have some bad news.

Your friend Charles
isn't gonna make it today.

His blimp hit some bad weather.

- Oh, man.
- Would you like a hug?

No, thank you, Limon,
I don't need another hug.

I could do other things

and we could just tell Limon
it was a hug.

Jesus Christ, stay away from me.

Hey, event coordinator,

- is this...
- I have a name.

I'm not even gonna pretend
that I remember what that is.

Is this the guest list?

I need to take a look at it,

because I just gotta find
somebody who knows

and respects me enough to

say a few loving words of introduction.

Let's see, definitely not Bob Costas,

not Jessica Mendoza.

Bob Uecker, he hates my guts.

I hate that Keith Olbermann idiot.

Dan Patrick once took a shit in my bed.

So did Eisen, so did Le Batard.

My goodness,
this list is like a regular

who's who of pillow poo.

Didn't you have a ticket
put aside for a Julia James?

Yeah, but, unfortunately,

she's out dealing with a very sensitive

labor issue for the league,

that and she made it very clear

that she had no desire to see this,

or me really.

Maybe just don't have
anyone introduce you.

Boy, has it actually come to this?

I've just... I've fractured
every relationship in my life

to the point where no one
will stand up for me.

Congratulations, Jim!

And now, now I'm living a nightmare.

That's what's happening to me.

Joe Buck.

Hey, is it true,

that some of these players are talking

about a midseason strike?

Shh, as commissioner,

I'm not really at liberty
to discuss that, Joe.

But, yes, yes,

these unions are just gonna
kill this game dead, Joe Buck.

They're gonna, pow,

Moe Greene it right in the eye.

But I got bigger problems
right now, Joe.

Beth was supposed to give

my introduction speech today,
but we're in the middle

of a little father-daughter
spat right now,

so I was wondering...

If maybe you would
willing to be on deck for me?

- Jim, I'd be honored.
- Great.

And you were right to come to me.

I mean, after all, we are best friends.

We're definitely not best friends, Joe.

No, no, no,
you're not my best friend...

But I am definitely your best friend.

Let that dawning awareness
overtake you.

Look, I'm all you got, man.

Someday, I'm gonna be doing
your goddamn eulogy.

- Who the hell was that?
- Who the hell was what?

Look, to be clear...

I may not even need you
to give the speech, okay?

I just gotta talk Beth down
off of this ledge.

Understood.

I think I'm giving the speech.

No, no, no, Beth's a hothead like me.

Sometimes she leads with her anger,

but I'm her father, man.

That is an unconditional love,

and that love is gonna win the day.

Feels like I'm giving the speech.

Eh.

All right, listen, honey,

I... I don't know what's going on here.

Maybe this is part of your whole

"pulling away from me" thing,
but please,

there's gotta be a better way

to do it than this.

If you want to convince me
not to give the speech,

all you have to do is prove me wrong.

- What, like... like a debate?
- Yep.

Classic Lincoln-Douglas format.

Start with affirmative construction

and end by trading rebuttals

until you crumble in defeat

and I go up on that stage and I

rip your asshole a new asshole

so when you shit yourself,

you see it coming twice.

Okey-doke, um...

I'll take the affirmative
of the resolution

that a positive speech
can be given about me

without lying.

Okay.

You have six minutes.

Jesus, well,
I... I won't need all that.

Okay.

You claim your speech is factual.

I won't dispute that.

But you left out certain facts about me

that paint a very distorted picture

of, like, a monster
from beginning to end

when, in fact,

mine is a tale of human redemption,

of a man who got sober
and changed for the better.

Now, in my drinking days,

did I once marry a dog as a joke?

Yeah.

Am I still paying him alimony?
Absolutely.

God, I wish that Scraps
would just remarry.

I just... I just want him to be
happy, but anywhoodles.

You left all that out of this speech.

I mean, to strip me of my triumphs

is to lie by omission, okay?

And with that, the affirmative rests

for cross-examination.

What color were my mother's eyes?

- What?
- Answer the question.

B-Brown.

Are you answering
from memory or inference?

Beth, well, what does this...

You say that you're a changed man.

Okay, if that were true...

Why have you spent

all of these years lying to me,

about your knowledge of,

and relationship with,

my birth mother?

I was awake,

when you admitted everything to Jules.

You never loved my mother!

You don't even remember her!

Oh, Beth, um...

I need a five-minute recess.

Wha...

Oh, Joe Buck, I messed up,
and I mean real bad.

Beth found out my most shameful secret.

I don't know that she's
ever gonna speak to me again.

Are you still fucking that dog?

That was a green card marriage,

and you know that it was, Joe Buck.

Our love was platonic and pure,

and how you doing there,
Mr. and Mrs. Posey?

God, your son was just
one heck of a catcher.

Congratulations to you.

Look, Jim, I've got
five kids of my own.

Here's what I can tell you.

This speech is coming along great.

I've already got eight minutes
of Joe Buck gold in here.

How's that even possible?

I'm mainly copying and pasting

from my upcoming memoir.

It's called "Joe Buck Yourself."

I mean, after all, what are you,

without the context of me?

You know, as one narcissistic
egomaniac to another,

you are a world-class
son of a bitch, you know that?

That may be,
but you gotta listen to me.

Today's the most important day
of your baseball life.

If she has one ounce
of your penchant for revenge,

she'll find a way
to ruin this ceremony,

so tell another lie.

Do whatever you have to do.

Your legacy is at stake.

Just promise me that if
you do have to introduce me,

you'll mention me once or twice, okay?

- Thanks.
- You got it.

Fucked... a... dog.

You're late.

I'm taking that time
off your cross-examination.

So your supposition is

that you've been a bad person

and then a good person,

but I contend you've always
been the same shitty person.

You lied to your sister
about your mother,

and then you lied to me about mine,

and those lies were 15 years apart

on both sides of your sobriety.

What is your deal?

Do you get off on lying about mothers?

When you go to Mr. Magoriam's
Masterbatorium,

and, yeah, I do know about that,

do you pay extra for a virtual scenario

where you get to tell Bambi

that his mom is still alive?

You sick freak.

You are the same

terrible person that
you've always been.

How you doing there,
Mr. and Mrs. Posey?

Congratulations again.

Look, I don't want
to debate anymore, okay?

- Why, because you'll lose?
- No.

Well, yes, I would definitely lose.

God, that Bambi comp, that was brutal,

and I could tell that you just...

You found it in the air.

I'm just speaking from the heart.

I don't want to debate anymore

'cause I know what
you're doing, darling.

Why? 'Cause I did
the same thing my whole life.

I eulogized my father that way,

and I gotta tell you something.

Never made me feel any better.

The problem with scorched earth is,

you can't go back, and figure out

what the hell went wrong, you end up...

Carrying that pain
your whole entire life,

and you deserve much better
than that, all right?

You deserve the truth, so...

Please just ask me anything.

Commissioner, we need you on deck.

Kooch's dad brought a separatist flag.

Not now, Janet.

Yep, I knew your name the whole time.

I'm gonna shit on his pillow.

Well, you don't want to be late.

What about your legacy?

Right now,
my only concern is how you remember me.

Okay, that's my legacy.

Why did you lie?

You know,

at first I rationalized it

by telling myself
that I was protecting you,

but then...

I think I kept lying over
the years to protect me.

You know, I keep running
that period of time

over and over again in my mind.

It's not like somebody erased the tape.

It's like nobody was even

running the camera to begin with.

Do you know anything

real about her?

Just what the private
investigators could tell me.

She was born Eden Floribeth Reyes,

in Carmona in 1987.

She received a degree
in applied statistics

from Ateneo De Manila
University in 2009,

and she died when Super Typhoon Haiyan

made landfall on Leyte Island in 2013.

Somewhere in between graduating college

and her death, she met me, and...

I can't believe that
that was a coincidence.

What is that supposed to mean?

Beth, back then,
my only companions were

fugitives and degenerates

and gamblers and addicts,

and your mother was
definitely not of that world.

Who knows what I paid
or promised or lied about

to lure her into my strange darkness.

That's conjecture.

You have no idea,

what actually happened, Dad!

All right, okay.

Let's stick to the facts then.

Before I met your mother,

she was an academic
with a promising future.

Afterwards, she got pregnant,

disowned by her family,

and she died alone.

I was definitely the worst thing

that ever happened to Eden,

and I don't even have the decency

to remember her.

And the shame of that

is like a weight, it's like a stone

down there in my stomach.

That's not a story about my mom.

That's a story about you.

- What are y...
- You're saying that,

in her entire life,

the only day that mattered

was the day that she met you.

Dad, you're doing to her

what you've done to me.

You are making our story...

Your story.

Jesus Christ, you're absolutely right.

Even when I give my heart to someone,

I make it a selfish act.

I just made you my new addiction

and afflicted my pain on you

just like my parents did to me.

They probably started by now.

Probably.

I can't believe you were gonna tell

the merry-go-round story, Dad.

Why not? It's a great story.

I mean, that storm,

just came out of nowhere, didn't it?

It was terrifying...

Got dark and cold so fast.

And even though
it was just the two of us...

When you said we were gonna be okay,

I believed you...

Especially after you killed
that raccoon for sustenance.

Then, of course, it just ended up

being the owners' pet raccoon.

Yeah, with hindsight,
that was way too easy.

I think she thought
we were just playing with her.

That's your parenting in a nutshell.

It's way over the top,

enthusiastically wrongheaded,

but...

You're always trying your best.

I do know a few other things
about your mother.

She made friends easily,

she was kind,

and she was very brave.

I know that 'cause you're those things.

And, let's face it,

you don't get any of that from me,

that's for sure.

Well...

We should hurry.

I got a speech to give.

Are you sure?

Unless you want Joe Buck to do it.

Oh, Joe Buck can eat
a big bag o' dicks.

Okay, one more question.

Do you like my bangs?

The important thing, sweetie,

is that you like them.

- I hate them.
- Thank goodness,

'cause they're just awful.

It's not your fault,
bangs are just a prank

a woman plays on herself
every three years.

I love you, Dad.

I love you too.

Okay.

Beth...

I really am sorry

that I can't tell you
any more about your mother.

It's okay.

I know everything I need to know.

Cubs three to two.

Oh, shit, baseball.

Oh, what chan... um...

_

I have the TV linked to my laptop,

so I can stream games illegally.

You like baseball?

One of my statistics
professors introduced me to it.

- Huh.
- Baseball is like this

intersection of life and math,

where you can predict anything,

except the moments
that change everything.

This is definitely the best
conversation I've ever had

after waking up on a bar.

- My name is Jim...
- Jim Brockmire.

Yeah, yeah, hey.

Eden. We've met many times.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm kind of on the bender
to end all benders here.

Let me ask you, you ever actually

- been to a game?
- No.

Oh, you have to

because in person,
it's so much more than just

an intellectual exercise.

I mean it's, it's a...

It's a meditative experience.

Baseball is the only game

that actually gets more enjoyable

with your eyes closed,

just the...

The inhale and exhale of the crowd,

the smells on the languid summer air,

and the sounds,

of the bat and the ball and the glove.

It's beautiful.

Well, this is the best
conversation I've ever had

with someone who's blackout drunk.

I won "Celebrity Jeopardy!"
blackout drunk.

I kicked Jerry Orbach's ass.

Oh, yeah, I should have realized

Jerry Orbach wouldn't translate.

Um...

Imagine if a loaf of
rye bread came alive

- and started arresting everybody.
- Pakshet.

My shift's over.

- Sorry.
- All right.

Bye, baseball.

Unless you'd like to join me.

Eden, my goodness,

so... so forward.

Not really.

I've actually turned you down
three times before this.

Certainly hope
I was charming in defeat.

You're always charming,

when you're not being an asshole.

Walking that tightrope,

that is the journey of my life.

Charming to asshole.

It's an old double play
combination too.

Charming to idiot to asshole.

So you live close by?

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