All language subtitles for Ambassada (2013) EN

A JULIUSZ MACHULSKI FILM

STARRING

EMBASSY

FOR NELA

You dropped your book.

You dropped your book!

Why are you yelling?

I picked up your book.

Thanks a lot!

Wait, haven't we met before?

I don't think so.

You were in Sphinks on Friday!
Your moves were great.

Impossible. I don't dance.

So maybe I saw you at the library?

- No, it wasn't me. Sorry.
- I'm Wiesiek.

Angelica.

I don't usually do that.

I'm not a boldfaced guy
picking up beautiful strangers.

I need to go to the restroom.
Will you keep an eye on that?

Sure.

Excuse me.

Where were you?
Guys were coming onto me.

What kind of city is this?

No parking space!
Are you done with it?

Ifs for you.

- Your coffee?
- Yes.

Oh, shit. Is it here?

You said your uncle's rich.
Call him.

Hello, Uncle, it's Przemek.

Yes, we're here.
It's just that...

there's no number 33 here...

Excuse me? Yes, 16 Piekna Si.
What apartment number'?

- Oh, it's 15? What did you write?
- What did I write?

Yes, were' here.
We'll see you in the morning.

Piekna 15 not 16!
You always mix things up.

- You said 16, and I wrote 16!
- It's all right.

This is something different!
The old meets the new.

Awesome!

Przemek, here!

No plants to water, just my cat.

You have to clean its litter box,
change the water every 2 days,

feed it. And every two weeks
cut its claws.

Scisors and all are in the cabinet.

Miss Jolanta comes here
on Tuesdays and Fridays to clean.

The money for her
is in this desk drawer.

On August 23 I'm having a wardrobe
delivered, but they'll call before.

Winston, stay.

You're alone in this house,
I mean in this building.

On the same floor there are
two legal offices.

So ifs quiet after 5 pm.
Any questions?

Isn't it too loud?
Because of the street?

- Absolute silence. Modem technology.
- So we can gel a good night's sleep?

But my advice is to go to sleep
before midnight.

What was here before?

A parking lot. Since 1945.

In the center of the city?
And before that?

- Mela!
- I have no idea.

You really favor your grandpa!

I know. Dad told me.

Winston’s stressed out.

Ifs moulting,
as if it senses something.

Mela!

Mela!

Have you lost your mind?

What a mess!

Owes.

Somebody lives here, you know?

What?

- Did you hear that?
- Mela...

Somebody was typing.

- So what? - Your uncle said
we're alone in this building.

Perhaps someone moved in?

But isn't it strange
that somebody's typing?

- Now, in the era of laptops?
- Tadeusz Konwicki always types.

- Maybe he moved in here.
- Oh no, Tadeusz writes with a pen.

- And then he has it typed.
- Again, the same. Did you hear it?

I can't hear it. You're pulling my leg.

No, I'm not. Hold on.

And?

- Nothing!
- I heard it!

- You're paranoid!
- And you're deaf!

Congratulations on your great behavior.

We were supposed to enjoy
every moment here, ponder life...

You were supposed to ponder!
I'm all right!

Yeah, but it's you,
who's going bananas.

Don't be so stiff!

Good night and good luck!

Warsaw, 15 Piekna St.
The 1920 ties.

On 15 Piekna Street,
formerly Pius XI St,

there was the Klara Dillenius Palace.

It was built by her brother Wilhelm...

What was your first dream
in the new place?

- None. You know I don't have dreams.
- Even cows have dreams!

- They may, but I don't.
- And I had a strange dream.

- Meaning?
- I saw live people,

- but I knew they were dead.
- I see dead people!

"Sixth Sense"

Exactly. And there's a reason for it.
I checked what was here before.

- Where?
- Here.

What?

Klara Dillenius's Palace stood here
from the end of the 19th century.

Where's my yogurt?

- There're lots of them.
- They're all 4% fat.

And I got a light yogurt for myself!

Sorry, I may have eaten it by mistake.

Mela, I've asked you so many times!

The stuff on the right is for me.
The stuff on the left is for you!

I'm sorry. Relax, please!
Is it the end of the world?

It is.

You ate a yogurt
that was part of my diet.

- So what?!
- We had an agreement!

Go to a notary public
to sign a culinary agreement!

Is that so important?

Not everything that you find
unimportant is unimportant.

You've distracted me again, Mela.
I'm already late.

I love you. Bye.

Julek?

Hi!

Yes, it's me.

Long time? Perhaps, but let's not talk
about all I did for the last 2 years.

Where am I?

You'll never guess!

Just tell me where this great place is.

- 15 Piekna St.
- I don't mean that'

I'm asking about the hellhole
you escaped to.

You're asking about The Wilderness.
It was in Bieszczady.

Fucking hell, Mela!

An actress living in Bieszczady?

Fucking...

I made a deal with Przemek,
that the first 2 years would be for him.

So I see it's really serious love.

What a pity. Really, what a pity.

Have the 2 years passed?

- They've just finished.
- Really?

Great! I'll get you
a role at Krystyna's.

What Krystyna?

What?

What?

What Krystyna?

Hush...

Now.

- I can't hear anything!
- Are you kidding? Now you can't?

For the love of God,
I can't hear anything!

I can hear a cab.

What cab? Stop kidding around!

You really don't hear anything?

I told you it's a strange place.

And that dream last night.

What dream?

I dreamt about the German Embassy.

German? Why German for that matter'?

Because the German Embassy
was here before WW ll.

Germans bombed it
by mistake in September 1939.

18 people were killed.

Oh, I see. Friendly fire?

That's not funny at all.

Their ghosts are here. I swear.
I'm like a seismograph.

You don't believe
your own words.

And who just heard
a cab and a typewriter?

I was influenced by you!

I don't like it here anymore.

You brought a laptop
on a romantic outing?

Just in case I get inspired.

- It was supposed to be a day for us!
- It will be just for us.

Przemyslaw Reiter speaking.

Yes, I remember, tomorrow.

What? Today?

Sure I can. No problem.
I can come today.

Now?!

I'll be there in 15 minutes. Thank you.

Yes!

Where are you going?
I thought you could wait in the car.

When it's so hot outside?

You can wait in the cafeteria,
I'll be back in an hour.

- Why can't I go with you?
- It's a business meeting.

- I'd rather you didn't.
- Are you ashamed of your wife?

Mela!

You don't bring a whole family here.

On October 5, 1939 all this could've
ended, if an attempt to kill Hitler

- had been successful.
- The bomb that our sappers

planted at the comer
of Aleje Jerozolimskie and Nowy Swiat?

Jan Nowak Jezioranski wrote about it.

Ifs believed that there was no attack
because the sappers hand trembled.

The order was to launch the bomb
if 100% certain

that Hitler was in the car.

My belief is that Hitler died that day!

Germans hid the fact from the world,

and the war was conducted by a Lepke -
Hitler's double, a puppet.

I'm on the trail of documents
that'll prove that.

You are serious, aren't you?

Is it supposed to be a war
fantasy thriller'?

No. I understand ifs hard
to believe that...

If nobody's discovered
it for 70 years,

we won't make fools of ourselves either.
And the title...

The title's great! "New 1939.â€

- It's like a statistics book.
- Maybe a title with Hitlers name?

Do you think so?

Excuse me, I overheard a bit
by accident.

How about: "You Thought You're Smart,
But Look Who's Winning"?

Mela!

Let me introduce...

- Melania, my wife...
- Nice to meet you.

Excuse me?

Me - your wife? Since when?!

She loves this trick.
Mela, it's not a good time.

- Could you leave me alone?
- She's an frustrated actress.

- Jesus! How old are you?
- Don't touch me.

Take care of your own life!
Excuse me!

She thinks she's being eccentric!

So Hitler died, and that was your wife?

You're not going to talk to me?

You used to have a sense of humor.

What now?

Heil Hitler.

What?!

Mela?

Yes?

Come!

Leave it! I need to show you something!

- You're not mad at me anymore?
- Somethings wrong here.

- Well, I agree.
- I'm talking about this building.

- Come on!
- What? The garbage room is locked?

I saw Germans!
They were speaking German!

Over there.

So what? Europe is open!

Can't we have German neighbors? It's
even better! I'll brush up my German!

- Maybe they're nice?
- Nice? In uniforms?

Come in!

What do you want?

Petitioners aren't allowed
on this floor.

Get out, please.

Excuse me, are you shooting a film?

Otto! I need you here.

Just a minute.

Excuse me, what are you doing here?

And what are you doing here?

You are in the German Embassy.

Oh, fuck! it can't be true.

Fuck! It is true.

These are the ghosts,
the people from my dream!

Ghosts? These are real people!

- One had a pimple on his nose!
- Can't a ghost have a pimple?

We can't both have hallucinations
at the same time!

These are real people!
But why in Nazi uniforms?

- Maybe ifs a happening?
- Please!

Only gays and lesbians can do it
in front of the Seym?

Or maybe there's a hidden camera?

- Open the door!
- What impudence!

Who's that?

Gestapo!

- What are you doing in the Embassy?
- Mela, translate!

Excuse me, Sir, but the German
occupation ended

in January 1945.

You insolent Polish swine.

I'd shoot you if it weren't for the fact
that it's your birthday today!

- What?
" Birthday?

Mela! You knew that
and conned me?!

- Why do you always do that to me?
- So that you relax, you stiff!

Julek, Staszek and Ola.
My friends from the Theater Academy.

Hi!

Then he looks at me and I see

that he has very big brown eyes.

Brilliant!

Do you really find it funny?
A joke about a faggot.

Come in!

Guys, I'm sorry,

but I need to have 32
tip top clean for tomorrow,

because I have serious clients
first thing in the morning.

So do this tip top cleaning yourself.

Yes?

Where are you? Two men with a wardrobe
are here! What's that about?

- Ask Roman Polanski!
- What?

Your uncle mentioned a wardrobe.
Don't you remember'?

I don't... Mela!

Just let them in and get it done!
You're creating problems in your head.

They say they don't have a key!

What do you care?
They'll explain it to your uncle!

Over there.

Cool! You put me on the spot.

Excuse me?

I apologize. I recall that "stiff".

You're such a babe.

You're amazing!

What do you want from me?

All right, all right.

I underestimated you. My respect.

Ifs the third floor!

Have you eaten enough?

What's the matter'?

David Copperfield?!
How did you do it?

Those wardrobe guys have just left!

They kept asking me questions!
And now you! Could I have

5 minutes of peace?

Awhile ago, you were with me in the
elevator and got off on the 3rd floor.

- What's going on?
- "Let's go to Warsaw,

"you'll have great conditions
for writing in your uncle's flat.

"I won't want anything from you. "

- What?
- Come with me, please.

Shit...

- But, baby.
- You'll see.

Mela!

- I don't understand.
- Can I get back to my creative work?

- The elevator!
- What about it?

- We have to take the elevator!
- My dead-line is on the 17th!

I'm lost. I don't know if I love you
more when you're going crazy

or when you let me live.

No, sorry...

I see you went at full throttle.

Honest to God. It's not me this time.

Petitioners aren't allowed
on this floor.

Get out, please!

We don't understand you.

- I want...
- Anton!

I need you here!

Przemek! Look!

Anton, take them out from here.

You cannot be here!
It's the Reich's Embassy.

I will escort you to the exit.

Okay. Bye.

I see you miss your profession,
your evening performances.

The fourth.

Come to us for tea.

How about him moving in?
Why are you dragging him here?

How about the 9th commandment: "Thou
shalt not covet thy neighbors wife!"

- Don't you see he's identical?
- To whom?

To you, idiot!
Are you blind?

Please, come in!

- I look like this slick dickhead?
- You're like two peas in a pod!

The Decalogue is very sexist.

How about 'Thou shalt not
covet the husband"?

Who's husband? Thy neighbors?

A wife was worth less than a goat then.

Exactly. It needs to be updated.

Where did you get that?

- My uncle bought it.
- We have one like that downstairs.

- Do you have the key?
- The guys who brought it lost it.

- What's this?
- Good evening.

The TV? Is that what you mean?

Li's the 73rd anniversary of signing
the Ribbentrop-Molotov pact.

On August 23, 1939, a secret
protocol of this pact was signed

according to which in the case
of a Polish-German war, the border

between the Third Reich's and
the Soviet Union's spheres of interest,

would be the Narew-Vistula-San line.

Two signatures on this document:
Molotov's and Ribbentrop's

practically signified
disaster for Poland.

Which year is this?

2012.

2012?

- You traveled in time.
- Mela,

- please!
- What's your name?

Ne you Armor" Rene: by any chance'?

How do you know?!

Most probably you're my husbands
great grandpa, present here!

Excuse me, but my great grandpa
was a handsome man.

- He is handsome.
- 73 years difference.

Oh, I know.
You are also from the Drama School?

Naughty boy. Don't they have
any more roles in the TV series?

Of course! it's so easy to find
an asshole identical to you.

- I must go back there.
- Absolutely.

Won't you have some tea?

There's a theory that if the universe
is like a big apple, then a worm

that wants to get to the other side,
instead of crawling on the surface,

can bite through the pulp
of the universe to make a short cut.

- And this is traveling in time!
- It's Wheelers theory

of wormholes from 1955.
It's bullshit.

- Most evidently it's not.
- It is'

You got my favorite pencil dirty!

Stop!

- What are you doing here?
- I'm sorry.

- It's her again.
- What's going on here?

Polish spy!

Bring her to me!

Hold on, please. Hold your horses!

- Take them off immediately!
- Shut up!

It hurts. You want it in German, fine.

First of all, you'll lake your hand away

and second, you'll let me go.

It's also August 24 upstairs.

It means that in one week
all will be fucking ruined,

because the war will start.

In one week all will be fucking ruined,
as the war will start.

How does she know that?
It's the Führer's secret order!

Can you take them off?
Who are you?

I'm the one who asks questions here.

How do you know about September 1st?

Have you just come down from Mars?
Everybody knows that.

She's a SPY-

We need to interrogate and kill her.

Easy, Otto. We'll have time to kill her.

Yes, ifs a good idea.

Oh, no.

How do you know about
the fuhrer's secret order?

If you're shooting a film
and have a hidden camera here,

I must congratulate you.

I've been taken in.

But if this is the truth,

I can tell you
how the whole shit will end.

- What shit?
- The Second World War!

The Americans and Russians
will kick your ass.

Poles will loo: at the battle of Monte
Cassino or of England.

And finally, this loser, your Führer,
will shoot himself with a flare gun

right in the face.

Anton, what is she raving about?

Wait! This can be really important.

Who sent you here?

The Mad Hatter! Holy shit!
You could've shot me!

Ifs some spy code.

Let Felting know
there is a leak somewhere.

Oh, fuck!

I'm an officer
of the Polish intelligence!

I've been on this mission for 2 years,
and you could've exposed me!

Oh, shit! What mission?

I have to steal
a cipher machine from them.

Enigma?!

How do you know its name?

A wreath? For whom?

Just to cover our tracks.

Tomorrow we'll put it
on the Grave of the Unknown Soldier.

Great idea. isn't it?

Damned Soviet ink.

Where can I wash my hands
and change my clothes?

Here. Please.

Mela!

Mela!

Hello?

- Hi.
- What is this?

What are you doing with this garbage?
Burning it? Recycling?

I can't talk, I'm in a meeting.

I can't say.

- Attention!
- Don't hang up.

Hello.

And this is supposed to be
that psychic?

- Does she know German?
- Yes.

Yes, but I can translate,
Mr. Minister.

Ask her

if the war will start and when,

and how it will end.

Can you remind me
exactly when WWII started?

Are you serious?

WWII started on September 1, 1939...

...at 4:45 with shots fired
from the battleship Schleswig-Holstein,

which... on August 25, tomorrow,
will come to the harbor in Gdansk.

I'll be damned.

No one knows that apart from me
and the Fuhrer,

I mean the Fuhrer and me.

When does it end?

May 8, 1945 with the Germans
unconditional capitulation.

How about Mr. Ribbentrop?

After the war, he'll be sentenced
to death and hanged.

On October 16, 1946 in Nuremberg?

Well, it will hurt!

She is dangerous! She was brought here
to spread defeatism!

And if she has a gift of clairvoyance,
it's even worse.

The Fuhrer must see her.

What does she have in her hand?

A mobile phone. A smartphone.

A gadget from the 21 st century.
You never part with it'

We need to take her to Berlin!

Mister, I'm from different time and
I have this information only here.

What is she raving about?

Sir, if you allow me,
I want to show you something'

But first we must free her.

Why?

Only she can take us there.

Sure!

- 4th floor'?
- Yes. Apartment 33.

Please.

Mela? Please!
Stop this from happening!

- Shut up!
- Hey, hold on, man.

- I'll have bruises.
- We won't talk this way.

- Shame on you!
- Mr. Minister,

you're a well-mannered man.

Please, tell your bodyguard
to take some break.

Look at this nutcase.
Where did he come from?

From Berlin.

Which year is it?

Tum on a history channel
or a film about WWII,

I've got parched
from all this explaining.

It's like a radio, but with vision.

You call it "Fernsehen...

That's a very good name.

Why don't we have it yet?

Where is it made?

- In Japan.
- That's very convenient.

Our allies! I'll ask the Emperor
to send us over some.

Can anyone explain to this man
that we are in the 21st century?

Traveling in time? Magic? Occultism!

The Fuhrer loves these things. We need
to take this contraption to Berlin!

Moron! This contraption
won't work there!

You're over 70 years behind us!
It works only here.

In a moment a verdict
will be pronounced.

Everybody in the room
froze with tension.

Ribbentrop.

That's me. I got slim.

Sure, after a year and a half in prison.
It wasn't vacation with Euroreisen.

Death by hanging.

Death by hanging.

But because we know all this earlier,

we can change the flow of history.

Everything will be all right.

You know, that I've always
wanted to be a musician?

What about them Mr. Minister?

Watch them. Guard them with your life.

Yes Sir, Mr. Minister.

Stay here. I'll take turns with you.

Don't tell me that was
the real Joachim von Ribbentrop?!

Who, if not him?
Believe me, ifs happening'

That guy shot at me.

What's he saying?
Speak German.

Ribbentrop or not, I don't care.
You weren't supposed to bother me.

- I want to write. I don't have time.
- Stop it!

Time is fucked up here!
We need to run!

- Run? What about my book?
- You can take your laptop.

Don't talk! You Poles.

Thank you.

You can go.

- Where is my apartment?
- Ingeborg!

Take Mr. Minister to his room.

At your service, Mr. Minister.

Would you like some tea? Or coffee?

I can make you a sandwich.

I'd rather have beer.

We have beer too.

Good.

Mela, shall I help you?

You - sit down.

I'm not joking.

Here you are.

You need to arm it like a grenade.

Quick! Let's tie him up.

- With what?
- There's tape somewhere around.

Take his gun.

- See you tomorrow.
- See you.

See you.

The end.

Przemek!

A pencil. A notebook. My laptop.

I'll never write this book.

Not under the supervision of the Third
Reich! We're going back home.

Anton!

Anton! My darling!

- You didn't go home?
- We're finally alone!

Ingeborg, we cannot do it here!
Were on duty.

Why are you always so principaled?

You can relax at this late hour.

The enemies of the Reich
aren't sleeping.

Let's do it
under the portrait of the Fuhrer!

I've always dreamt about it.

Li's very nice of you,
but I still have some duties lo fulfill.

Can't we put them off.

Let's put off what we're doing now.

Anton!

Anton!

Come with me!

Let's get out of here.

There is one thing I must do.

Heil Hitler!

Thank you.

Hail victory!

Thank you very much for your welcome.

My trip here is absolutely secret
and incognito.

The fewer people that know I'm here,

the better.

And now go back to your tasks.

- We're in the Embassy garage.
- Mela!

You always get me into something!
Last year it was a music festival!

And now this! I need peace!
Is it so hard to understand it?

- It may be the adventure of your life.
- And I have a dead-line.

- In 3 weeks I might lose this job.
- There're still 21 days!

- And you've traveled. Write about it.
- Forget it. I'm going.

- We're stuck in the meantime.
Because of you! - Sure.

- I need you to help me.
- Don't even think about it.

- Sure, but how? - There's a chance
this war won't happen.

- Really?
- Hitler must be assassinated.

There were many attempts. He's lucky!
It won't work.

It will. There'll be an explosion,
but Lepke must die too.

What Lepke?
Hitler will come here tonight.

Ribbentrop convinced him over the phone
to come and see the tricks on your...

Television!

I should go to the hairdressers.

How about calling the antiterrorist
squad to wait for him?

I can't wait, doing nothing.
I'll kill him, or die trying.

Stay cool! We'll kill the leader.

- We'? Don't count me in.
- It's enough you're a database.

Well done, Przemyslaw!

It fits!

- Is it yours?
- You put something in here?

No, the key was missing.

I thought so.

What is it?

Enigma.

A German cipher machine?

I see it's not a washing machine!

Is it good or not?

I have a plan!

It's fricking awesome.

Tired after the journey, mein Fuhrer'?

There's everything.
A bathroom, bedroom and office.

Where is the toilet?

The rest room is there, mein Fuhrer.

The sooner we do it, the better.

- Where is this seer man'?
- It's a woman, mein Fuhrer.

- Upstairs.
- A woman?

Ribbentrop, why haven't you
brought her here?

Because she herself is not enough.

That contraption works
only on the 4th floor.

Is the prophecy really
so unfavorable for the Third Reich?

The first 4 years are not so bad,

but from 1943 it's going to be bad
for the Third Reich.

So maybe we should put off
your wonderful plan till 1941?

Nonsense!

Go back to selling champagne,
Ribbentrop!

In 1941 I have to be in Moscow!

The latest!

- Moscow?
- You have something to say, Ribbentrop?

No! Moscow... Good idea.

Ribbentrop, leave me alone
for a moment.

Ende, safeguard.

My red brother.

Goddammit!
He got knocked in the head!

- He'll be okay.
- Who's this?

Anybody else would get a concussion.

This one will be fine.

How could he, I mean,
our beloved Fuhrer,

how could he vanish?
You were supposed to safeguard him!

He asked me to leave him alone.
Our Fuhrer decided to go to the toilet.

- He's only human.
- What now? Has he sank into the bowl?

Who's missing?

Otto Klatsch and Anton Reiter!

Oh, so it's them!

Anton? That's impossible!

I'll check this.

Guard him!

What...?

Ende!

Ribbentrop!

Where am I?

In the future!

It's not me! Not me!

And who's that?

My double! This idiot, Lepke!

Lepke? What is he saying?

He's saying it's his double, Lepke.

Yes! I knew it was true
with that Lepke!

We know this kind of excuses!

I need an interview with him!

Help me!

What is this all about?

Ifs a treachery!

Coup d'état!

Untie me immediately!

We'll let you go

if you give up the idea
of the Polish corridor,

cancel the pact with Stalin,

give us back Gdansk,
Szczecin and Wroclaw, and...

as the Fuhrer you will retreat lo hell!

What? Never!

Are you recording this?

All the time!

- Revenge for Katyn!
- Katyn? Mela! These were Russians!

Sure!Entschuldigung. Sorry!

Ifs for the Uprising!

You'll pay me for this!

Call off the operational readiness

of Wehrmaht, Luftwaffe
and Kriegsmarine!

How can I do that,
when you're pinching my tits?

What's he saying?

He can't do it
while we're pinching his tits...

Ouch! It hurts!

It is supposed to hurt. So, what?

So, what? Will you do
what we're asking for'?

You don't know what you're doing.

You're signing your own death sentence!

The executioner's axe
is being sharpened already!

For now, ifs us who have the axe,

and we can end the whole 1000-year-old
Reich in 3 seconds!

I'm not talking to you, woman!
Your place is in the kitchen!

Excuse me? My place is in the kitchen?!
In your face!

Ouch! Stop it!

Be good. We can do
whatever we want with you.

Don't you understand, idiots!?

Even when I vanish,
they're going to continue without me!

Who are they?

Göring, Hess, Himmler, Goebbels!

Anyone! All of them want my job!

I didn't know it's such fun!
Przemek! Do you want to try?

Stop this nonsense!

Come on! You'll tell your grandchildren
how you scratched Hitler's face!

- I want an interview, not grandchildren!
- Come on! You'll regret it later!

Damn! You can't even slide a sheet
of paper on Hitlers face!

- It must be upright!
- No!

Sorry.

The revenge is going to be sweet!

- You won't have a chance.
- So?

Will you cancel the war
or do we continue the game?

- Are you Jewish by any chance?
- Am I Jewish?

Maybe?

- This can be true.
- Are you Jewish?

Are you going to listen to a fascist?

What difference does it make?

What can you say
about these two?

One of them used to be your superior'?

Anton Reiter is a very good boss

and an honest German.

Where did he come from?

From Ausbreussen.

He must have valued patriotism.

It's unimaginable

that he could have been a part
of such a horrible action.

And the second one?

Otto Klatsch.

Otto Klatsch.

Otto has always been different,

- strange.
- What?

Otto Klatsch is from Bavaria.

A Bavarian? Damned yodelers!

Sausages and mandolins!

I'm Bavarian, Ende!

But Your Excellency! Every child knows
you were born in the Rhineland,

not in Bavaria, where there're only
whores and football players.

Ende! My wife comes from Bavaria.

Honourable Mrs. Annelise?

So, what football team
does your wife play on?

No!

Stop wriggling! Or I'll hurt you!

Get out of my sight!

Well! Now it's good!

How is it? Do you like it?

Are we canceling the war or not?

How will I face people?

Nobody will listen to me.

You can do it on the phone.

No way!

You have no idea what you've done!

The Polish Corridor was only a bluff!

I hoped Poland
would roll over and play dead

like Austria or Czechoslovakia.

Now I know you're going to fight,
so I retreat.

What a pity you didn't think
about it earlier.

You can still withdraw your order.

How? Withdraw?!
Without my moustache!?

This monster Lepke is only waiting
to jump into my place in history!

He's a thousand times worse than me!

Listen.

I've read that when they examined
his remains in 1945,

it turned out he had only one testicle.

Is that true, Przemek?

The autopsy of Hitlers body proved,

that the great Fuhrer
had only one testicle.

No! No! It's Lepke!

Lepke has one testicle!
I have two! All in the right place.

Two?

Then show us!

What?!

Let the Jewish woman turn away!

Of course. I don't want to puke.

Przemyslaw!

Listen! Is he circumcised
by any chance!?

Are you circumcised?

None of your business.

Ifs my and Ewa's business!

Really? This would be a joke!

Hitler or not - I hate the sight
of male genitals. I'm coming back.

You have the only chance in life
to twist Hitlers balls,

and you prefer to create?!

Maybe you don't have the balls?!

We need to finish the Enigma case.
I will need your husband.

Przemek?!

Captain Antoni Reiter wants to charge
you with a very responsible task.

I won't even listen!

This would be our little input
in the victory over the Third Reich!

- We'll be proud.
- But the Reich doesn't exist!

It doesn't in our times,
but in his - it exists.

When I finish my interview,
you can strangle Hitler.

I'm not fit to be a crusader!

- Do you want us to win this war'?
- Us?

Us. The anti-Hitler
coalition, that is... well...

- What'll I get out of this?
- You'll do something good.

As a Pole.

- You said you wanted to be in the AK.
- What? What is the AK?

- I'll tell you later.
- What will I gel out of this?

- Fame and glory.
- Phew! Fame and lame!

I got operational gold reserves
for the action.

Nice! Gold has appreciated lately.

- Is 2 pounds enough?
- 10 would be better.

I'm doing this out of patriotic duty!

Now you're kidding me!
As if I didn't know you!

What's wrong with being a patriot?

How to put it, Antoni...

Bad people have spoilt our patriotism.

It's a little worn out.

- I can't believe I am doing it!
- All right.

It will be okay.

The glasses!

I need to relax.

I'll check on Otto.
We must get rid of him.

You scared me!
Never do it again!

Where is he?!

Has he vanished?

Anton!

Here you are, you pig!
Get up!

Get up!

Where is our Fuhrer Adolf Hitler!?

- Where is our fuhrer Adolf Hitler!?
- Stop it!

Don't you see he's unconscious?

Besides, he's here, so he couldn't
have kidnapped the Fuhrer!

- So, who did it?
- Otto!

Can't you see?

Tell me what happened.

"Otto Klatsch kidnapped the Fuhrer
from the Embassy

and took him to an embassy..."

Which one?!

"Probably the American one".

What has he written?

Ifs classified!

They've found Otto!

They got him?
Where is he?

He's lying on the pavement
in the street.

He must have fallen from the roof!

Fate's protecting us!

And the Fuhrer?

We're still looking for him.

This way, please.

Poor thing!

I'll take care of you,
poor thing. At last!

Finally alone!

You're Jewish?

Where are we?

- What is this?
- It's a trap!

Here's the main entrance.

We can get to the 1st staircase
and all the front flats.

- Have you sold
many flats? - Halt!

Excuse me!

You are from Julek? Too much
pudding will choke the dog.

You're scaring my clients.
Go away! Now!

Excuse me.

What's going on here?

Herr Consul,

make the car ready.

I'm going back to Berlin!

What about the Fuhrer'?

The Fuhrer is already there!

I'm very happY-

You are free.

Now, you will get spanked!

Enigma is in British hands!

What?

There will be no war.

No! But I withdraw the orders!
As soon as my moustache grows back.

Hands up!

Thank God!

Ende!

I thought I would never
live to this moment.

Is it you, mein Fuhrer'?

Who else? Goebbels?

No, but you look different...

Shut up and continue sewing!

Yes, Sir!

Release our Fuhrer!
What are you waiting for'?

And you, traitor,

will be taken to Berlin'
You know what for.

You know what'll happen then.

The most horrible tortures
of the world. I myself with pleasure...

And now, I'm going to tell you,
what will happen.

You will open the balcony door,

and you'll throw
your dead pals into the street.

Ende!

- Okay, okay...
- Take this, please.

Easy. Thank you!

Ifs nothing, but I wouldn't like
to do it again!

What was that?

And now, mein Fuhrer...

What an Ubermensch!

Adolf,

we're going to have a drink,
and you're going back to the Embassy.

I don't drink alcohol!

What's going on here, a happening?

A happening?
Do you know who this is?

- Well?
- Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler!

- Adolf Hitler...
- Mr. Ober, this is Adolf Hitler!

- I am Antoni Macierewicz.
- This is Adolf Hitler.

- Without a moustache.
- Hitler with no mustache isn't Hitler.

You can drink and dance,
but never with stinkers.

Bravo! Bravo! Very good.

Our scientists have reached
the conclusion,

that the fusion of German orderliness

with the imaginativeness of Poles
would give perfect results.

Don't suck up, all right?

I can understand everything.

September '39, the Uprising '44,

but why the fuck did you
ruin my city later'?

It wasn't me! It was Lepke!

Of course! Today nobody is guilty!

Okay. We've jogged, drank
and we are going back.

BERLIN
THE REICH CHANCELLERY

Heil Hitler!

Good morning, Herr Lepke!

That is Mein Fuhrer!

To such a crouching in the darkness

in order to stab their neighbors,
Germans, in the back,

in spite of the non-aggression pact,

to such a disgraceful violation
of the rules of the civilized world,

there can be only one answer!

Easy! We are not in the Reichstag!

You can mess around later.
Now, talk like a normal man.

What are we doing?

All right. All right.

I've just wanted to assume the role.
They need a fucking slap in the face.

We've always believed in you,
mein Fuhrer!

After you, mein Fuhrer!

They have found the dead bodies
of Hans, Kurt and that guy

who came with the Fuhrer.

They fell from the roof,
but first somebody shot them.

I'm starting to dislike it.
Soon we'll be short of staff!

Jawohl!

Well, should I care at all?

I am hereto love...!

Mela!

Why do you always do this to me?!

I'll explain. She jumped
on me, for she thought I was Anton.

You didn't want
to tell the poor thing the truth?

- I didn't want to unmask us.
- But, of course!

Which of you is the real one?

" He!
" He!

You are mine!

I'm Przemek. I'm very sorry,
but I'm married.

Don't take it too seriously.

Really?!

Really.

Let's change clothes.

The wife. Melania Reiter.

Nice to meet you.

Przemek!

Since 4:45 our forces
on the land, at sea, and in the air

have been fighting the Poles!

This war could have been avoided!

The price of peace was high,
but measurable!

But we Germans don't know
the concept of peace at all costs.

You think they won't
bomb us thanks to this?

- On the contrary! - This is supposed
to look like a hospital.

I see.

I didn't know you liked blondes!

She's a simple girl, that's true.
But very warm and sensitive.

Not like me.

You could learn a few things from her.

Well! You could learn a few things
from your great grandfather!

Let's go to the shelter!

Relax, Inge!
They won't bomb a hospital!

Junkers'87!

Stukas with their infamous
"Jericho Trumpets"!

My friends! My beloved Luftwaffe!

Perfect timing!

- How does it look?
- Fake.

There's no time!

Here stands your Fuhrer.

Anton, help me.

Przemek! Come on!

- Don't leave me, Anton!
- But I'm Przemek.

Przemek! Leave her, come here!

- Melania!
- I can't leave her!

Why not? What about me?
You've just met her!

- I would save even a cat!
- Where is the cat?!

Your Führer's waiting!

Look, this guy looks exactly
like our Fuhrer!

Like his twin!
But he has a fake moustache!

Help!

Przemek!

- Jump!
- Przemek! Przemek!

Are you okay?

Do you mind?

- You've come home early?
- Why early?

Unbelievable.

You look like my grandfather.

He's bought contact lenses!

What game are you playing?

I see... Wash yourselves.

Who is it?

- He's your...
- I'm waiting for you.

Come.

Incredible!

I've been thinking about buying
this apartment also.

- Beautiful view.
- It's great.

Your grandmother used to say

that the view is the most important.
And the first sight.

Wait! Where's the Palace of Culture?

Palace of Culture?

It's always been there!

- What are you talking about?
- Stop messing with me!

- A gift from Stalin!
- Stalin?

What's that warlord got to do with us?

After the war,
when the Russians took power...

Uncle! This is
your generation's history!

Do you mean the Polish-Soviet war'?
They lost it.

I mean the Second World War!

There was no Second World War.

There was the Great War of 1914-18
and nothing after.

But on September 1, 1939
there began".

Oh! You mean the September
Incident! That was only 2 weeks!

We chased the Germans away.

- Without Hitler, they got lost.
No motivation. - No Hitler'?

Especially that they killed him
by mistake themselves.

They killed him'?

- What grade did you get in history?
- A very good one!

So, you should know. On September 1
Hitler was in their Embassy in Warsaw,

and the Germans bombed it.
They killed their fuhrer!

What about Hitlers double, Lepke,
who was supposed to replace him?

There were rumors.

Since 4:45 we answer
the shots with the shots.

Every bomb will pay for a bomb!

Gentlemen,

the Fuhrer is dead.

Don't we have another one?

On September 17, Germans
signed a surrender in Wroclaw,

which they had to give back,

- together with Szczecin and Olsztyn.
- And Vilnius and Lvov?

- What?
- They're ours?

Whose else?

Don't tell me China is our neighbor.
So, there was no Uprising?

So, Warsaw exists?

The one from before the war'?
Not destroyed?

What have you been smoking?

Uncle! You're wonderful!
We're taking you to dinner!

No, I'm inviting you to a new...

restaurant!

Are you going?

Here's a great restaurant.

Delicious tzimmes and stuffed
goose neck! I'll find a table.

Julek!

- Meleks!
- Hi!

Hi, Przemek!

Meet my friends.

Ingeborg'?

Inge... what?

Ingeborg'?

- My name's Nela.
- Sure, and you don't know Przemyslaw?

Przemyslaw's standing here.

But my great grandmother's
name is Ingeborg,

and my great grandfather
was named Przemek.

How are they?

Great grandfather died 15 years ago.

- Haven't we met somewhere?
- Excuse me?

Let's get in touch and meet.

We'll talk and chatter.
Now, we're going.

- Bye. - You have to drop by.
I live near the beach now.

We'll go for a swim.

YOU TOUGHT YOU'RE SMART,
BUT LOOK WHO'S WINNING

This book is very rare.
It's worth the money.

(my WU views.

- But I have only these.
- Very good.

Thanks.

30.

- Children.
- Uncle's waiting.

You've made a decision. Hard luck!

There had to be side effects.

I have, as you do,

My city, and in it:

My most beautiful world,

My most beautiful days.

I've left my colorful dreams there.

Someday, I will stop Time
And on the wings of a bird

I will fly with all my strength

Where my dreams are

And Warsaw's colorful days.

If you want to see
dawn over the Vistula River

Set off with me today

You'll see how beautifully
well be welcome there

You'll see how beautifully
well be welcome there

On a Warsaw day.

- Bravo.
- Wonderful!

THE EMBASSY

WRITTEN, DIRECTED AND PRODUCED BY

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER

DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY

EDITED BY

PRODUCTION MANAGER

MUSIC

SOUND DESIGN

PRODUCTION DESIGN

COSTUMES

MAKE UP

CAST:

English subtitles: Agata Deka