Original subtitles

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猫儿叫春？ Feeling horny?

我的死鬼丈夫死了还不够七天 My husband only died

叫你这几天不要来 four days ago

这几天我忍得多辛苦 , 你知道吗 ？ I can't wait any longer

无论如何都要忍过头七呀 Three more days please

我不管 , 我不管什么叫头七 I can't

不 , 你走吧 Go away

走？ 我不管什么 , 我不走 I'm not leaving

不 , 不要嘛... Please don't

谁 ？ Who's it?

你是谁 ？ Who are you?

是我 , 是她... I'm...

你们俩真是好事多为了 You two do nice things

不关我的事 , 是他迫我的 He forced me

不是我迫她的 I didn't

牛不肯喝水怎能硬把它的头低下来呀 You gave in easily

是 , 是 , 其实我们俩都没有关系的 We didn't do anything though

没什么？ 难道你们在床上捉蚤吗 ？ What were you doing on the bed then?

不用抵赖了 How could you

你们俩这样怎能对得住我呀 do it to me?

俊哥 , 下次我不敢了 I won't do it next time

这种丑事还有下次的吗 There won't...

我不会放过你们的 be any next time

你们快把颈伸过来 , 让我 死你们 Give me your necks so I can squeeze to death

你是谁 ？ Who are you?

我是朱宏利 I'm Fatboy

你这死肥猪 , 让我揍死你 I'll kill you

别乱来呀 , 我到乡公所去告你们俩 I'll report you to the police

你们俩都要一齐浸猪笼 You'll be sentenced to death

一个是不知廉耻 , 一个是不守妇道 An adulterer and an adulteress

你须知道为女子者应从一而终 A woman should be faithful

你丈夫的尸骨未寒就去勾引男人 Your husband died only four days ago

这样做法怎能对得住丈夫呀？ How could you do such a thing?

还当着丈夫的神位面前干这种丑事 And in front of his shrine too

神位呢？ Where's the shrine?

那边 Over there

你先拿着 , 我还没骂完呢 , 你们俩... Hold this, I'm not through yet

鬼呀... Ghost!

俊哥 Husband

朱宏利 , 你在搞什么鬼呀？ What are you doing, Fatboy?

我不是在搞鬼 I'm punishing them

我是帮你忙来教训他们的 on your behalf

早知你会来的话我就不来了 I didn't know you'd show up

真是丢脸了 It's so shameful

是呀是呀 , 我也替你不值呀 I feel so sorry for you

传了出去 , 你说我多没面子呀 I can't let anybody know

不但你没面子 You're...

连你祖宗十八代都没面子呀 absolutely right

俊哥 , 其实不一定要 死他们的 You don't really have to kill them

他们不死就易传了出去的 But they may tell people

不会 , 奸夫淫妇是最守秘密的 They won't publicize their own sin

他们不会讲的 They won't tell people

现在没人讲就没人知了 Then nobody will know

是 , 不过有人知道就会有人讲的 If one knows one will tell people

知道的人一定会讲的吗 ？ Is that a rule?

当然 , 如果他不讲怎么会有人知呢？ Of course it is

人家又怎会知道他知呀 If nobody knows one knows

如果别人不知道他知道 Why should one know

他知来干什么？ in the first place?

那你知不知道这件事情？ Do you know about this?

这件奸情是吗 ？ You mean the adultery?

由头到尾我都知道一清二楚 I know every detail of it

你会不会讲给别人听？ Would you tell people?

我为人是很正直的 I'm a straightforward...

什么事都不会放在心里 person

一定要讲了出来才会舒服的 I don't keep secrets

你这样说就是想我杀死你 Then I have to kill you then

不 , 你千万不要误会 Don't misunderstand me

我这样做法 I came to...

不过是为了你们鲁家的家声着想 defend your honour

不 , 不 , 我是说这件事情不是很严重 It's not that big a deal anyway

你千万不要太过认真呀 Please don't take it too seriously

不行 I'm sorry

总而言之 , 没人问我我就绝对不说 I won't tell if nobody asks me

不 , 不 , 不 , 没人问我我都会说 I'll tell even if nobody asks me

不... , 有人问我的话都不一定会说 I won't tell even if I'm asked

来人呀 , 来人呀... Help!

什么事呀？ What's the matter?

二叔公 Uncle!

什么事？ What's the matter?

早 , 发生了什么事呀？ What happened?

二叔公 Uncle!

他怎么样了 ？ What happened to him?

朱宏利 , 朱宏利... Fatboy!

朱宏利 , 朱宏利... Fatboy!

朱宏利... Fatboy!

二叔公 , 请你掴我一巴呀 Slap me, please

力大一点 Harder

你没什么事吗 ？ Are you all right?

朱宏利 , 朱宏利 Fatboy

怎么样？ Yes?

你发神经呀？ Are you crazy?

我明白了 , 原来刚才我在做梦 I was having a nightmare

没事 , 没事 I'm all right

戏弄我们 ？ 揍死你 You put us on

我的脚呀... My leg

追我 Catch me

二叔公...不关我的事呀 , 是他们干的 I didn't do it, Uncle. They did

二叔公 , 你不要紧吧 Are you all right?

不要紧不要紧 We've been doomed

我们朱家祖宗不知道做错了什么事 generation after generation

代代都是这样 , 挨到你这一代还要惨 Yours is the worst

真的吗 ？ Really?

怎么不是 , 我的哥哥就是你爹的父亲 My brother's your grandfather

你祖父生下你爹就死了 Who died right after yourfather's born

要我抚养你爹长大成人 I brought yourfather up

你爹做了父亲生下了你又死去了 He died right

让我看着你长大 after you're born

你这死兔崽子太不长进 You never behave yourself

我不知道能不能够 I wonder...

看见你有做父亲的一天 if I'd last long enough

看你生养小孩子了 To see you become a father

二叔公 Are you telling me

照你这样说我不是有很多个爹？ I have many fathers?

真是给你气死了 , 快干活去 You'd better get to work

二叔公 Uncle

什么事呀？ What?

没什么 , 你小心点慢走呀 Watch your steps

还不快去拉板开门 Open the door

这么厉害的花露水味道呀 What a fragrance!

出声呀 , 想吓死人是吗 ？ Are you trying to scare me?

朱哥 Fatboy

什么事呀？ What's the matter?

你的衣服我替你洗干净了 I've washed your clothes for you

放在这儿好了 , 你走吧 Leave them here and go home

回去 , 我还有事要做 I'm busy

等一等 Wait

这些东西不是我的 , 你拿来干什么？ These aren't mine

是我特为你绣的 I made them for you

绣给我的 ？ You made them for me?

绣两只水鸭给我算什么？ What do I need two ducks for?

不是水鸭 , 是鸳鸯呀 They are not ducks, they are love birds

鸳鸯？ 一大一小当然是鸳鸯了 Why is one bigger than the other?

大的是你 , 小的是我 The big one is you, the small one is me

小的是你 , 大的不是我 , 什么都不像 It doesn't look like me

是鸳鸯戏水呀 The love birds are swimming

鸳鸯戏水？ 不如绣个春宫图给我好了 Couldn't you make something erotic?

我知道你白天事情忙见不到我 I want you to sleep with these

晚上睡觉见到了鸳鸯 And feel like sleeping

就好像见到我一样 with me

怎么会呀？ 你睡觉是张大眼睛的吗 ？ I don't like them at all

你一定以为我是张飞了 You'd better

我不要你拿回去 , 走 take them back

阿云 Yuen

二叔公 Uncle

走吧 Go home

朱宏利 , 你怎么可以这样对她呀 You shouldn't treat her like that

你们两人是指腹为婚 You were engaged

将来是两夫妻呀 when you were babies

将来再算 , 最好是你替我推掉她 I want to call it off

推掉 ？ 你爹死的时候什么都没留下 Yourfather didn't leave you anything

难为阿云对你这么好了 Yuen's so nice to you

就是因为对我太好我才不想害她 That's exactly the point

嫁给我这种人有什么用呀 I don't want her to waste her life on me

用心做事就有用了 No excuses

快收拾东西跟我到马家祠堂开光 Let's go to work at the Ma's

知道 Yes

马老爷 Lucho spent all your money

麟祥虽然败光你的产业离开这儿 and ran away

但是他总会回来的 But he'll be back

每逢这些日子 They do this time...

镇长总是这堆木板叽叽咕咕 and again

你说他们在泉下能够听见吗 ？ Will their spirits hear it?

死去原知万事空 , 那管后人发 风 When one dies, one dies

扬举人 , 你还没醉呀？ Are you still sober?

醉酒当歌人生几何 Have I ever been sober?

但我每次见到你总是喝醉 How could you pass

你怎能考取状元呀？ the public exams?

不 , 不是去考而是不考 I think better when I'm drunk

为把金樽当明月 , 富贵于我如浮云 I'd have flunked the exams if I were sober

不 , 不是浮云而是一堆大乌云也 I bet you would

二叔公 , 你不用这么辛苦 Why don't you let

找别人做好了 someone else do it?

为什么不用我做？ Who can do it

这条村有谁比我更好呀？ better than me?

你要用心去学 Learn carefully

我死了以后衣砵就传给你了 You'll take over when I die

那很快就行了 That's easy

不 , 不 , 我的意思是很容易学会的 I mean the learning

我已经有六成工夫了 I've got about 60%

我先去上炷香 I'll offer the incense

二叔 , 辛苦你了 Thank you

能者多劳 , 没办法呀 It's my job

马老爷 I'm doing this

这炷香是我替马麟祥给你上的香 on behalf on Lucho

朱宏利 , 给列位老爷敬茶 Fatboy, offer the tea please

是 Yes

天清地明 , 阴浊阳清 The sky is clear

财富归四海 The riches will come

福荫满园庭 Luck has arrived

佛祖红光照 , 子孙万事兴 Everything is fine

替你取个名叫阿银 I'll call you Silver

给列位老爷多金多银 Bring everybody money

替你取个名叫阿福 I'll call you Fortune

给列位老爷多寿多福 , 叩头 Bring everybody fortune

用力一点 , 叩头 Bow

再叩头 Bow again

把你老爷的时辰八字记牢 Know who

认清谁是你的主人 your master is

原道打点 , 请鬼差大哥提拔指路 May you be led

入土十丈 , 送你到阴曹地府 To rest in peace

(The Tavist priest is casting a spell)

(The Tavist priest is casting a spell)

(The Tavist priest is casting a spell)

(The Tavist priest is casting a spell)

(The Tavist priest is casting a spell)

回家啦 Here's home

祥哥这么短命就死了 Lucho died so young

让开 , 让开一点 Make way please

麟祥 , 他没理由这么短命的 How could Lucho die so young?

不是他短命而是你长命 He didn't die young, you live longer

二叔 Uncle

二叔 , 我跟你介绍 , 她名叫李月盈 This is Ying

是麟祥自己在外面娶回来的 She's Lucho's widow

麟祥嫂 Mrs Ma

他是她的哥哥 This is Ying's brother

她已经有八个月麟祥的骨肉了 Ying's eight months pregnant

还好 , 总算马家有后代了 I'm glad for Lucho

二叔 , 请到里面坐 Let's go inside

请 , 请 , 请 After you

小心点走呀 Watch your steps

没理由的 I don't believe it

等会对马大爷用足工夫呀 Do a special job on old Ma

秀姑快要来了 Beauty will be here soon

好好的招待客人呀 Be nice to the gentlemen

我们的小姐来了 Here come the ladies

彩姑 , 真不好意思呀 I beg your pardon, Beauty

别那么客气 Let me know

有什么不对的地方请原谅 if there's anything you don't like

这位小翠姑娘斯文大方 , 工夫又一流 Jade is both nice and skillful

别看她年纪轻 , 她很会讨好客人 She knows how to please a man

早几天钱老太爷到这儿来... Lord Chin was here the other day

你说她是不是很精乖呀 Wouldn't you say she's very nice?

真的很精乖 I sure would

一定靠得住 , 八十多岁的老头都行 It can work magic on an eighty year old

你没理由不行的呀 It can't fail on you

怎么样？ 你们两个究竟是谁来干呀？ Which one of you is going to do it?

我没时间让你们考虑 I've got too many customers

很多客人在等着我呢 waiting for me

是呀...小翠是我们这儿的红牌小姐呀 Jade is the hottest lady here

彩姑 , 我的颈很敏感的 My neck is very sensitive

喜欢不喜欢呀？ What do you say?

喜欢吗 ？ Like it or not?

他说喜欢 He said yes

那么就跟我到房间里去 Then come with me to the room

出来玩玩 , 又不是做永远夫妻 We're not getting married

我早就说他一定喜欢的 I knew he'd say yes

对不起我还要去招呼别的客人 Please make yourself...

请随便坐 at home

不好意思 , 就这样吧 Let's keep it this way

你怎么还不去 ？ What are you waiting for?

我要准备一下子 I've got to prepare myself

替我看着 , 我去了 Watch this for me

这些东西 , 说是牛鞭 , 又说是海狗鞭 They say this stuff makes you last longer

那儿有这么多鞭 , 心理作用吧 It's all in the mind

吃的人全部都是傻瓜 Men are such fools

你也吃一颗吧 Have one yourself

最近给老婆看牢 My wife's been tough on me

周老爷 , 不送啦 , 明儿早点来呀 Come early tomorrow

今天我是静悄悄地出来的 I sneaked out today

真的有反应 It really works

惨啦 , 这回怎么办呀？ What am I going to do?

心里不想它就没事啦 Don't think about it

天地有正气 , 杂然赋流形 One thousand and one

下则为河岳 One thousand and two

这回就惨了 Oh my God

月光光 , 照地堂 One thousand and three

年卅晚 , 采槟榔 One thousand and four

槟榔香 , 这次千万不要香 One thousand and five

摇摇摇 , 摇到外婆桥 One thousand and six

外婆叫我小宝宝 , 你说好不好 One thousand and seven

你很坏 Damn you

什么事？ What's the matter?

白费时间 , 不行就不要来呀 Why waste your time?

早知如此就找你好了 , 小胖 I should have picked you, Fatty

老朱 , 我又不行了 I'm finished

不要碰我 Don't touch me

干什么呀你？ What are you doing?

没事 , 快要行啦 It's almost there

怎么样？ 行不行呀？ Is it working?

行了 , 是我呀 Yes, for me

怎么他这个样子的呀？ How did that happen?

不 , 是不行 He was no good

不是不行 , 简直是无能 He was impotent

你们说说看 How could he

他怎能有个大肚的老婆呀 impregnate his wife?

那真是有点崎岖了 Something's wrong?

崎岖？ That's easy...

又不是叫你去爬山 , 事有点跷蹊 for you to say

这桩事值得怀念 We should find out the truth

怀念？ 现在不是叫你讲古 , 怀疑才是 That's easy for you to say too

你们俩别争论了 Stop arguing

总之马麟祥这桩事不简单 I'd better go

我想去查查看 find out the truth

查？ 一点头绪都没有 , 很伤脑部的 How? You haven't got any clues

脑部？ 伤脑筋呀 Neither have you

你们别争吵了 , 你看那那条多粗大 Stop arguing, watch what you're doing

帮帮忙想想办法 Let's think of a plan

朱宏利 , 东西齐备了 , 送去吧 Go make the delivery, Fatboy

知道 Yes

行了 I've got it

镇长 , 辛苦你了 Thank you for coming

辛苦你了 Thank you

坐坐 , 别客气 I couldn't let myself

马家的事我应尽点力的 not to come

阿成 , 这些都是我们请回来的孝子 These are the mourners we hired

你们到外面去准备一下 Go get yourselves ready

二叔 , 这里已差不多了 We only lack

就是少了一对金童玉女 the Boy and the Girl

那班饭桶不知在搞什么 , 本来... Those idiots are late again

还是让我回去看看吧 I'll go back to take a look

请让一让... , 活人不阻纸人路 Make way please

你们轻松点好不好 Don't act like you're straining yourselves

托着几百斤东西 , 怎么轻松呀？ We are straining ourselves though

不然很容易识破的 , 轻松点 People may find out

干吗这么迟才送来 What took you guys

叫你们快点的嘛 , 快放好 so long?

扎这么大 , 不要本钱的吗 ？ Why made it so big?

不关我们的事 , 是朱宏利扎的嘛 Fatboy did it

真是个倒米寿星 , 他人呢？ Where's he?

他去了阿云家里 He went to see Yuen

难道他脾气改了 That's not like him

喂 , 有事别连累我们呀 Don't get us involved

快走呀 Go away

二叔公 , 我们先回店 We're going back to the shop

是呀 , 今天很多人来买东西呀 Business has been good today

生意要紧 , 快回去 , 快回去 Hurry back then

你们两人一点都不相称 You two don't match each other

摆个纸人都摆不好 Couldn't do one thing right

节哀顺变呀 , 夫人 My condolence

你去休息吧 Get some rest

到外面去看牢 You'd better post guard

我到外面去一会 I'll be outside

你尊重一点呀 Behave yourself

夫妻名份上摸摸屁股有什么关系 Don't forget we're married

谁跟你是夫妻 ？ No way

现在全村的人都以为我跟你是夫妻 Everybody thinks so

不如将错就错大不了我做个便宜的爹 I wouldn't mind being your husband

别走 , 让我们来亲一亲 Let's have a kiss

你们干什么？ What are you two doing?

不好了 , 给你丈夫捉奸在床了 Here comes your real husband

口不择言 , 动手动脚 He tried to molest me

你千万别冤枉死人呀 That's not true

别再胡搞了 , 现在我送你到祠堂 Stop fooling around

聪明点 , 不然就前功尽废了 We can't fail

知道了 , 我知该怎么做的了 I know what to do

死鬼 , 又喝醉了 You're drunk again

众人皆醒 , 我何妨独醉 Who is drunk?

众人皆醉 , 我何必独醒 Who is sober?

这么年纪轻轻就死了 , 真是可惜 What a pity to die so young

干杯 Cheers

站好 Stand still

干 Cheers

一声锣鼓响叮当 , 请来天帝玉面皇 Please come upon us, dear angels

东海哪吒我都不怕 , 最怕年轻守空房 And have pity on the widow

桥归桥路归路 , 衣服归当店 Earth to earth and dust to dust

朋友 , 我是揣测的 , 你比我还要揣测 I thought I was bad, you're worse

喂 , 好拍档 , 打好一点好吗 ？ Concentrate, will you?

蜀山剑侠 Swordsman

什么事呀？ What's the matter?

你真顽皮 You're naughty

枝香都不够劲的 The incense is not good enough

火烛呀 ！ Fire!

衰仔 , 那么顽皮 , 真失礼 You're naughty, bastard. I'm sorry

那个纸人会说话的 That paper man can speak

大吉利是 Of course not

麻烦你好好的教训你的儿子 Please take care of your own kid

干吗你这么顽皮呀 , 射中人了 Will you stop that?

别吵了 , 走吧 Cut that out. Let's go

人都走光了 , 你跟麟祥嫂回去休息吧 Take Mr Ma home

我送你回去 I'll take you home

小心 , 二叔 , 走吧 Uncle, let's go

这边 This way

二叔 , 我跟你去喝酒好吗 ？ Let's go and have a drink

好 Good idea

放工了 , 放工了 That's it for today

大门关了 , 走那边吧 That way please

阿朱 , 你知你自己有多重呀？ Don't you know you're heavy?

麟哥 , 是我 Lucho, it's me

有怪莫怪 , 别怪我来骚扰你呀 Forgive me for disturbing you

我看你是死得不明不白 I'm suspecting foul play

所以来替你验清楚一点 on your death

如果有真的不妥的话 I have to

我一定帮你查个水落石出 find out the truth

哗 , 你这样搞我好容易夹色兼伤寒的 I may catch a severe cold

怎么没有的 ？ I couldn't find anything

马老兄 , 我是东村的钱百达呀 I'm Chin from the other village

我就是今晚跟你做佛事的大法师 I mastered the ceremony for you tonight

兄弟近来环境不大好 I can't make ends...

所以请你帮帮忙 meet lately

钱是人间的钱 , 物是人世的物 I need to borrow money from you

你要来没用 , 不如先借给我一用 You can't make use of it anyway

将来有机会在泉下跟你见面 I'll repay you

我双倍还给你 after I die

我们就这样决定吧 , 你真是快人快语 That's the way it is

这回真是一波未平一波又起了 It never rains but pours

难道给人捷足先登了 Someone's here before me

执输行头惨过败家 That's really frustrating

还有一点点油水 At least I can take these

拆不开 , 让我拿个钳子揪开 I'd better use a pair of pliers

怎么会张开口的呀？ Wasn't it closed before?

这回可惨了 Oh my God

断了 , 让我夹 再来 The string was not strong enough

如果不是老朱在这里 , 我一定打死你 I'd kill you if Fatboy's not around

这样玩呀死人都让你玩完了 That's no way to treat the deceased

谁呀？ Who's that?

没有人呀 , 难道是鬼？ Could it be a ghost?

不 , 那儿有鬼呀 , 自己吓自己 Don't scare yourself

你的牙齿都很坚固呀 You've got some tough teeth

没办法了 I have no choice

我不想凿烂你的牙齿 , 只有小心点 I don't want to ruin your teeth

麟哥 , 对不起 , 我不是有意的 I didn't do it on purpose

没理由一点瘀伤都没有的 There's not even one single bruise

难道给人下了毒 ？ Could he be poisoned?

你放心 , 我一定会查出真相的 I'll find out the truth for you

明天晚上我带傢伙来替你解剖 I'll open you up tomorrow night

到时候检验一下你的内脏 And see if your insides

有没有变色就知道了 have changed colours

我还是先走啦 I'd better leave now

肥朱 , 肥朱... Fatboy

肥朱的绰号很少人知道的 Not that many people know my nickname

肥朱在这里 , 谁呀？ This is Fatboy. Who's it?

麟祥？ Lucho?

不是 No

你... ？ You...

我是马麟祥的鬼魂 I'm Lucho's ghost

你不用怕 Don't be afraid

我不怕 , 快告诉我是谁害死你的 ？ I'm not Tell me who killed you

说呀 Tell me

不 , 我是死于自然的 Nobody killed me

怎么会 I don't...

我看你的样子就一点都不自然 believe that

你怎么可能有个大着肚子的老婆 ？ How could you impregnate your widow?

你是个性无能的嘛 You were impotent

而且自认是你大舅子那个人 And your brother-in-law

贼眉贼眼 looks like a villain

一定是他们一起来谋害你的 He must have murdered you

我早告诉你没人害我的 I told you nobody killed me

如果没人害你的话 If no...

怎么你会冤魂不息的来找我 Then why are you here?

那我是来错了吗 ？ You mean I shouldn't have come?

你没错 , 你不找我找谁呀？ No, who else can help you?

我求求你 I beg you

你不求我我也会帮你忙的 You don't have to do that

怎么你这样笨的呀 Why are you so stubborn?

我不是愚笨 , 我是为了兄弟 Only because I want to help my buddy

我没有这种兄弟 I'm not your buddy

照你这样说是怕连累了我 I know you don't want me

我是不怕的 to get involved

我真的让你气死了 You're making me mad

我肥朱给你气死才对 Likewise here

你... You...

不用多说 I will definitely

明天我一定替你解剖检验的 open you up tomorrow

肥朱 , 你这样做对你没好处的 It won't do you any good

为兄弟做事也要讲好处的吗 ？ I'm doing it for my buddy

如果我真的是鬼我就 死你 , 我们走 I'd kill you if I were a ghost Let's go

我们 ？ Us?

不 , 是我自己走 , 走 No, I mean myself

麟祥 , 麟祥... Lucho

太可怜了 Poor man

怎么样？ 把他说服了吗 ？ Did you convince him?

服什么 No

他这个人最得人讨厌的就是为朋友 He's too loyal to his friends

说来说去都不听 , 太忠直了 He's also very stubborn

那他想怎么样？ What is he going to do?

他说明天晚上来跟我开刀 He wants to

这回不死也不能了 open me up

你有什么主意？ What do you think?

我没主意 , 你代我搞掂他吧 I don't know You take care of him

搞掂他就容易 , 横七直八好了 Let's have him killed

喂喂 , 你千万不要误会呀 Don't get me wrong

朱宏利总算是我的老友 Fatboy's my buddy

我不想害死他 I don't want him killed

既然你这么说 I'll try

我就尽量想办法阻止他 to stop him then

你想妥才好呀 You'd better

不然我死了对你们都没有好处的 My death won't do you any good

知道 , 你还是回去摊尸吧 You'd better go back to play corpse

你说点好听的行不行呀？ You're such

什么叫摊尸呀？ a slave driver

好了好了 , 快点回去睡吧 We just want you to get some sleep

让人看见了很容易拆穿的 Before anybody sees us

睡觉就差不多 That sounds

如果我跟你是夫妻的话 much better

抱着一起睡觉那真是好极了 I wouldn't mind sleeping with you

请 Goodnight

你说现在该怎么办呢？ What should I do now?

麟祥 , 傢伙拿齐了没有 ？ I've brought the tools, Lucho

让我先剖开你的肚子 , 然后... Let me cut your belly open

再剖开你的食道 , 检查你的五脏六腑 And take a look at your insides

如果你真的是中毒的话 If you were really poisoned

你就显灵显圣 , 让我老朱替你伸冤 I should be able to tell

这么大的刀剖下去 , 缝起来也要很久 This is too big for the job

差不多了 This should do it

行啦 That's it

朱宏利 ？ 干什么呀你？ What are you doing?

替马麟祥剖尸检验一下 I want to see

看看是否给人毒死的 if Lucho was poisoned

你以为他是让人... That's what you believe?

是 Yes

难怪你会怀疑了 I don't blame you

不过要证实马麟祥是不是中毒而死 But you don't need any autopsy

你也不应剖开他的尸体呀 To find out if he's poisoned

我有个办法是不需要剖开尸的 I know another way

这枝是银针 , 那瓶是毒药 This needle is sensitive to poison

如果银针遇着毒就会变黑的 It turns black

你看 See

现在你想我替你检验那一个部位呀？ Now which part of Lucho should we test?

腹部 The belly

那枝针是什么颜色？ What's the colour of the needle?

银色 Silver

那就是没毒了 , 你还想验那一个部位 What other parts do you want tested?

食道 The throat

没有呀 , 还要检验哪儿？ What else?

脑部 The brain

中毒怎么会上脑呀？ How can the brain be poisoned?

花柳都会上脑 , 何况是中毒 , 快验呀 Of course it can

停手 Hold it

你们在干什么？ What are you doing?

要证明给朱大哥看看 Fatboy wants to prove that

马麟祥不是中毒而死的 Lucho was poisoned

麟祥经已死了 , 还要他体无完肤 I thought Lucho was your buddy

他是死得不明不白 That's why I have to

所以我要检验清楚 find out the truth

马麟祥是我的亡夫 I wouldn't let you

我是绝对不让你们这样做 abuse Lucho's body

我太了解他 He couldn't have

他不可能弄大你的肚子的... impregnated you

因为他是无能的呀 He was impotent

不错 Right

我肚里的不是马麟祥的亲生骨肉 He didn't impregnate me

到底总算让我查出来了 Here comes the truth

其实我是被人污辱了 I was raped

本来已经投河自尽了 I tried to kill myself

幸好马麟祥救了我 , 还娶我为妻 Lucho saved me, he married me

我跟马麟祥虽然没有夫妻之实 Though he couldn't make love to me

但是他对我恩重如山 He was very good to me

无论如何我都会跟他一世 We were so much in love

想不到他一病就不起 But then he died

为了报答他对我的恩 I decided to go ahead with the baby

我准备生下一男半女 , 作为马家后裔 So that Lucho could have a son

马家有了继后香灯 And the Ma's

然后我就离开这里 won't become extinct

现在死无对证 , 你说什么都可以呀 You expect me to believe that?

我丈夫生前叫我有事就投靠你 Lucho told me I could count on you

想不到你竟然会说这种话 And you refuse to believe me

如果我生存下去 I don't want

岂不是有损马家的声誉 to live anymore

放下 Put it down

你别这样呀 Don't be like that

让我死吧 Let me die

你死了又怎么样？ That won't solve anything

阿嫂 , 何必这样 , 你不讲我就不明呀 Please forgive me, it's my fault

你现在讲了 , 我就明白啦 Now I understand the whole story

怪不得麟祥向我报梦的时候 No wonder

好像有难言之隐 when Lucho came to me

你不为你着想也要为孩子着想 He seemed to be hiding something from me

你看肚子已经这么大了 Your belly is so big now

咦 , 有两个肚脐 , 是双胞胎呀 And there are two navels

麟祥 Lucho

她现在没事了 She's all right

幸好我没替阿麟开刀 I'm glad I haven't opened Lucho up

还要不要验脑呀？ Should we test some more?

不用啦 No

阿嫂 , 以后有什么困难 Let me know

尽管跟我肥朱说好了 if you need any help

麻烦你 , 你保重呀 You take care now

你真是个懵人 , 不过对我还算是有心 You're stupid but you're a real friend

你没事吧 Are you all right?

麟哥 , 明天你就下葬了 Tomorrow is the funeral

到时你得到祖先的陪葬品 Priceless antiques

千万别忘了我们 will be buried with you

我不是这种人 , 说得出做得到 I would sell them all

变卖的东西一定分四成给你们 And give you 40%

你可以安息了 Rest in peace now

大吉大利 , 再见 See you tomorrow

你总算回来了 I've been waiting for you

村长 , 怎么这么晚呀？ What's so urgent?

你们先出去 Excuse us please

你的头怎么样了 ？ What happened to your head?

我不小心给撞破了 I fell on the way

这么晚你来干什么？ What's so urgent?

马老爷在生时 Old Ma left me

曾将一笔钱给我存入银楼 a big sum of money

讲明麟祥有了后代就交给他的后人 To be given to Lucho's spouse

如果没有的话就拨充善举 Only if she gave birth to Lucho's offspring

只要小孩一出世 The money will be yours

我就会把这笔钱交还给你 after your labour

那么这笔钱一共有多少？ How much is there?

我已计算过了 I've already checked it

几年来利上加利大概有十多万 More than ten thousand taels

十多万 ？ 那么陪葬品不是有很多吗 But Lucho said his father went broke

但是麟祥对我说 By buying

老爷把银 全买了陪葬品了 priceless antiques

马老爷不会这样做的 Old Ma wouldn't do a thing like that

其实那些陪葬品 The antiques are

根本就是不值钱的东西 all cheap items

当日马老爷如果不是这样 Old Ma lied to Lucho

麟祥怎么会到外面去发奋做人呀 In order to force Lucho to work hard

那马家历代祖先... Now I get the true picture

马家世世代代都是福荫子孙 Things are going according to Old Ma's plan

怎么会这些折福的事情呀 You'll have the money soon

将来我拿到这笔钱后 I'll donate half of it

把一半交给乡长修桥整路 to build a bridge

让麟祥在九泉之下得到安慰 Lucho would have wanted the same

马家有你这种媳妇真是有福了 I think you on behalf of the village

时候不早了 , 我觉得很倦 It's late and I'm tired

我走了 , 你休息吧 I'm leaving. Goodnight

原来马家根本就没有陪葬品 So the antiques

反而有笔巨额遗产 are worthless

既然是这样 There's no need

马麟祥就不必走进坟墓了 for Lucho to be buried

你错了 , 就是要他走进坟墓 Of course

还要他有进没出 there is

你的意思是... You mean...

现在所有的人都把他当作死人了 Everybody thinks Lucho's dead

如果他真的死了 If he stays dead

这十多万 你知是谁的了 ？ the money will be ours

你是说... You mean...

你们是谁 ？ 为什么要杀我？ Who are you? Why do you want me dead?

他的功夫怎么这样厉害呀 I didn't know he's so tough

差点给他弄死呀 He almost killed me

快点做完手尾 Tidy things up

魂过乌西洞 , 魄上奈何桥 Dust to dust

人土为安 , 瞑目九泉 Earth to earth

乌呼哀哉 Oh my god

马公麟祥字禄能 , 号应春 Lucho Ma was born in Kwangsi

广西梧州上乡人也 In the year 1851

生于咸丰元年 He died at the age

死于光绪年享年三十有四 of thirty four

生前勤奋好学 , 尊师重道 He was a very good man

扬举人这首诗作得不错 Mr Young's pretty good

不愧是个举人 at things like this

是祭文呀 , 诗 , 自作聪明 Only if

不要滥竿充数 he's sober

你也别以为聪明 , 滥竽充数 , 滥竿 How do you know he's sober now?

过去做事吧 , 需要你们了 Concentrate on your work

麟祥... Lucho

小心胎儿 , 我们靠他发财的 Be careful with your womb

麟祥嫂 , 当心婴儿呀 Calm down, Mrs Ma

英年早丧 , 弔君飘泊 You died at an early age

刺股图强 , 遭此大劫 Maybe you were too good

岂真天妒英才耶 to stay on earth

呜呼哀哉 , 君且去矣 But little do you know

可知子弟长相悲痛 , 以失良师耶 That you've broken many hearts

君其安息 Do you miss us

亦念党里乡民哀苦以无高朋益友耶 at all?

难道我是老了 Am I getting old?

酒一觞 , 君有英灵享我徵尝 Let me toast you this drink

伏维尚飨 , 呜呼哀哉 And hope you'll remember us

难道是生辰死忌不对 , 硬来吧 Something's not working

起棺 Behold

没理由的 , 没理由的... Why? Why?

小心 Be careful

什么事？ What's the matter?

是马麟祥的鬼魂 It's Lucho's ghost

不用怕 , 有我在这儿 He can't get

他不能走近我们的身边 , 走 near me though

这次真的做鬼也不灵了 , 怎么办？ I can't get near him

好 , 去找老朱 I'll go find Fatboy

老朱 , 是我呀 Fatboy, it's Lucho

麟祥？ 你的鬼魂真的这么厉害呀 You're such a powerful ghost

我冤魂不息 , 当然厉害了 I have to avenge my murder

冤魂不息？ 有没有搞错 ？ Now...

别再戏弄我了 you're putting me on

一回儿说死于自尽 You told me

一回儿说冤魂不息 nobody killed you

你当我是白痴是吗 ？ I've got a memory, you know

其实你已入土为安了 Why don't you

不要再来胡搞了 stop fooling around?

你这样吓坏很多人的 You would scare people

你真是个在生时害街坊死后害鬼魂 Why can't you be more considerate?

你听我说 , 我真的是给人害死的 I was really murdered

不用多说 , 一世人两兄弟 We were buddies

我是个很念旧的人 I'll burn some

最多烧多点元宝蜡烛给你 offerings for you

你安心回到九泉吧 You rest in peace

你老婆交给我好了 I'll take care of

我会替你照顾她的 your wife for you

安心回去吧 Now go back

不 , 肥朱 , 让我把前因后果告诉你 Let me tell you

是这样的... the whole story

这种事你都做得出来 , 你还是人吗 ？ How could you do something like that?

所以我就是个鬼 I'm dead now

你找我干什么？ What do you want me for?

找你代我报仇 To avenge my murder

执仇？ 你不觉得自己卑鄙吗 ？ But you were wrong too

卑鄙归卑鄙报仇归报仇 Don't mix up

卑鄙的人也要报仇的嘛 the issues

你别搞我 , 要报仇的话就自己去 Leave me out of your mess please

我要是自己能够的话就不用麻烦你了 I need your help though

肥朱 , 我的好兄弟呀 You're my buddy

我没有这种兄弟 , 快滚 I'm not. Get lost

老朋友 , 你是不是受了很大的刺激呀 Are you upset about something?

没有 No

肥朱 , 你帮帮我的忙呀 Help me please

滚 Get lost

肥朱 , 肥朱 , 好 , 你不帮我我作弄你 I'll mess things up for you

死胖子 , 你非礼我 , 拉你到衙门去 You molested me

对不起 , 姑娘 I'm sorry

兄弟 , 叉烧包很正的 , 新鲜热辣 Pork bread is good and hot, buddy

没事 , 没事 , 对不起 I'm okay. I'm sorry

你别再跟我开玩笑了 Will you stop fooling around?

胖子 , 你把我的摊子打烂了怎么办？ You messed up my whole setup

不关我事 , 不关我事 I didn't do it

这样搞法还说不关你事 You didn't do it?

让我教训教训你 I'll beat you up

死胖子 , 走迟半步 , 我非打死你不行 Don't ever let me catch you again

谢谢 Thanks

刚才你玩弄我还不够吗 ？ Haven't you had enough?

你别胡搞了 , 好不好 ？ Stop fooling around, will you?

兄弟 , 我现在是倒下来不是胡搞 I didn't fool around

你以为我想的吗 ？ I fell

他是不想这样干的 he didn't want to do that

你进去干什么？ Why are you going inside?

当然不是大便就是小便 What else can a man do

难道吃宵夜吗 ？ in the toilet?

肥朱 , 你不够朋友呀 You wasn't that nice to me

你烧的女纸人不及这个漂亮呀 You didn't burn me a pretty one like this

烧给你不用这么漂亮 You're impotent

始终都是浪费的 anyway

肥朱 , 你这样说是什么意思？ I beg your pardon

骂你 , 难道是赞你吗 ？ You heard me

你是不是想气坏我呀？ You want to upset me?

是 Yes

那你要多用点心思了 You'll have to do better than that

如果被我找到你 , 我就揍死你 I'll kill you if I catch you

你不是这样对待我 , 对不对？ You wouldn't treat me like that

我知你不会这样做的 Am I not right?

不会？ No

不关我的事 I didn't do it

你这样做 , 很容易吓死人的 You can scare people to death

是我不对 , 你也用不着这样凶 What have I done wrong?

好啦 , 现在我返回去了 , 你行 I'm leaving you alone

你当心点 , 不然他又诬赖我了 Be careful or he'll blame me

小心点呀 , 请 Be careful

你下来呀 Come down

干什么？ 你有话跟我讲吗 ？ You want to talk to me?

没有 , 没有 No

那你为什么叫我下来 Why did you call me down?

怎么样？ Well?

有种的就下来 Come down you coward

兄弟 , 什么叫有种没种 ？ Why do you call me

别以为我是马麟祥呀 a coward?

怎么样？ Well?

他就没种了 He's a coward

怎么 , 说我没种 I'm a coward

我死啦 I'm dying

不用怕 , 你还没死 No, you're not

我的脚断了 I broke my leg

你的脚没有断 , 只是撞伤了 You didn't

这么高摔下来当然是痛了 But it hurts

让我抱你上去 I'll carry you back up

是我太冲动 , 让我来抱他好了 Let me carry him

痛死我了 , 好痛呀... I'm in pain

什么事这样嘈吵呀？ What's the matter?

都是我不好 , 干吗要小便呀 I shouldn't have gone to the toilet

如果忍到天亮才起来小便 I should have waited

那就什么事都不会发生了 until dawn

麻烦你了 Thank you

你不走了是吗 ？ Are you refusing to leave?

你不帮我 , 我怎么可以走呀？ Yes, unless you agree to help me

好 , 有本事的话你就留在这里 Try staying here then

吓鬼？ 你的法力还不够呀 You haven't learned the skill yet

不关我的事 I didn't do it

我是癞痢呀 , 朱宏利被鬼上身了 It's me Fatboy's been possessed

怎么不是你呀？ Who are you?

别跟我开玩笑 , 你看 Stop fooling around Look

你看他像不像呀？ What do you think?

像就有点像 , 不过好像在发神经 I think he's gone berserk

起来 Get up

打破了这么多东西 Such mess

二叔公回来会怎么办？ Uncle will be mad

我想我们还是什么都不要理睬 I think we'd better

睡觉吧 go back to sleep

我在这里呀 I'm here

骑着马我骑着马 , 射向他我射向他 This is such a nice horse

很好玩呀 It's fun

来呀 Come

朱宏利 , 你发神经呀？ Why did you mess up

为什么把东西都打破呀？ the whole place?

不关我的事 , 都是那只死鬼 I didn't do it The ghost did

哪儿？ 什么都没有 , 鬼你头 What ghost?

肥朱 , 那老头看不见我的 He can't see me, Fatboy

朱宏利 , 你尽管整蠱作怪了 I'll punish

等会要你好看 you later

二叔公 Uncle

二叔公说等回就要你好看 Uncle's going to punish you

那你就开心啦 That makes you happy?

天清地明 , 赐我神灵 Give me power

现在每个人都在说我发神经 Everybody thinks I'm crazy

我求求你呀 I beg you

你答应我就没事了 Help me then

现在是你急我不急了 I've got patience

让我来打 I'll beat you up

不要呀 , 不要呀 Please don't

柳树枝打鬼 , 每打一下短三寸 This vine is for hitting ghosts

再多打你几下你就变侏儒 You'll soon be finished

别打了 , 我走 , 算我不对好了 Please stop. I'll go away

你知道了吗 ？ You admit you're wrong?

我是识错不是知错 , 是我识错了你 I admit you're not a friend

以为你是我的老朋友可以替我伸冤 Otherwise you'd help me avenge my death

想不到你一点道义都没有 You don't know what friends are for

你的冤情就算是找到了包大人 No one would give a damn

他也不会理睬你 about your murder

何况你... You're...

你有冤情吗 ？ You were murdered?

讲了出来你都不会相信 , 算啦 , 走吧 It's too long and wild a story

等一等 , 我相信你是死于非命的 Wait. I believe you're murdered

在你下葬的那天 That's why I couldn't

我砍不破瓦我就觉得奇怪 break your burial brick

到底是怎么一回事 , 你讲给我听 Tell me the whole story

行不行呀？ Will it work?

你放心 It will expedite...

迟生早生都是根据催生药的份量 the delivery

没有不可能的 It always works

如果真的是这么有效力 Increase the

你就用多点好了 dosage please

对 Right

你跟我都是想得到这笔钱离开这里 We want to get the money sooner

我是死有余辜 I hate to see them

但是没理由让那些坏蛋逍遥法外 getting away with murder

你说对不对？ Right?

对 Right

所以我就缠住肥朱 , 要他帮帮忙 That's why I want Fatboy to help me

他能帮你吗 ？ Can he help you?

二叔公 , 你千万不要叫我杀人呀 Don't order me to kill

我甚至连杀鸡也手软的 I'm not capable of violence

不用你动手 , 只是想借你的外衣一用 I just need your outfit

借件外衣？ My outfit?

他不是要向你借件外衣而是借你身体 That means your body

二叔公 , 行不行呀？ Is it safe, Uncle?

多事 Shut up

二叔公 , 如果他不把外衣还给我 What if he doesn't

岂不是很惨吗 ？ return the outfit?

躺下 Lie down

请 Please

天清地明 , 阴浊阳清 Behold the heavens

五六阴尊 , 出幽入冥 And the hells

永镇中位 , 护至仙成 Behold the angels

脚踏七星 And the devils

焚香一拜请 Out with Fatboy's soul

驱朱宏利三魂脱阳体七魄聚阴灵 from his body

灵光永照 , 灯在魂在 , 灯灭魂消 The soul will last and die with the light

无畏无惧 , 随吾令招 , 乾坤正气 Let's put Lucho's soul

杂赋流形 , 金石难开 , 所至精诚 Into Fatboy's body

麟祥准备 Get ready, Lucho

急急如律令 , 请 Let's have it done

二叔公 , 辛苦你了 Thank you, Uncle

马麟祥 , 你记着五更之前一定要回来 Make sure you come back before dawn

不然的话阿朱就不行了 Or Fatboy will die

兄弟 , 你要顾住我呀 My life's in your hand

不用怕 , 我很快就回来的 I'll be back in no time

二叔公 , 我去了 I'll go now

你别弄坏了我的外衣呀 Don't mess up my outfit

我还以为我自己是鬼呢 I thought I was still a ghost

朱宏利 , 这么晚来干什么？ What do you want, Fatboy?

我不是朱宏利 , 我是牛孖根呀 I'm not Fatboy

他很像一个人 He reminds me of someone

是呀 , 像谁呀？ Who though?

朱宏利 ？ Fatboy?

我？ 不是 No

那你是... ？ Who are you?

我是马麟祥 Lucho

我只不过上了朱宏利的身 I borrowed

你们都算狠心了 Fatboy's body

你这一招对我不灵验的了 That won't work now

二叔公二叔公 , 灯熄了灯熄了 Uncle, the light is going out

现在是什么时候了 ？ What time is it?

刚才才敲过三更 Just past midnight

麟祥这么晚还不回来 What's holding Lucho up?

火呀 Fire

马大哥 , 你不要杀我 Don't kill me

大不了我替你超度 I'll burn you offerings

超度 ？ 叫人替你超好了 Save them for yourself

其实杀你是我老婆的主意 It was my wife's...

不关我的事 idea

我知道 , 她是逃不掉的 I know. She's next

只不过你先走她一步 Right after you

幸亏我走得快 I'll be doomed

不然给你罩牢我就永不超生了 if your pants touch my head

死呀你 , 死呀你 To hell with you

贱人 Bitch

你过来 , 你胆敢过来 Come here

过来 , 你够胆过来 , 我罩住你罩住你 I'll cover you up with my pants

四更响了 , 好容易给她闹到天亮的嘛 Dawn's coming

那时就会累死肥朱了 I'd better go back first

还是马上回去找二叔公想办法吧 Or Fatboy will die

我想他已经走了 He must have left

我还是想办法离开这里好 I'd better leave too

现在走就什么都没有了 But then I would get nothing

不行 , 无论如何不能走 I'll have to stay

你为什么这么晚才回来呀？ What took you so long?

干吗你这样就回来呀？ You came back like this?

我的外衣呢？ Where's my outfit?

给那个贱人用底裤罩住我不能拿回来 It was stripped off me by her pants

为什么你不拿？ Why didn't you get it back?

因为我是鬼 , 要人才可以拿回来 I couldn't. I'm a ghost

那么叫谁去拿回来？ Who can get it back then?

二叔公呀 Uncle

拿什么呀 I wouldn't get there

我去到那儿已经是太阳照在头上了 before dawn

那我死定了 Then I'll die

我们抬二叔公去就行了嘛 Let's carry Uncle over there

那么就快点 , 二叔公 , 来 Let's hurry then

让我去拿盏灯 I'll get the light

我替你去拿 I'll get it for you

当心 , 小心点呀 Be careful

放我下来呀 Let me down

你这个贱人 , 我非 死你不可 I'll strangle you

别理她 , 我的外衣要紧 Get my outfit first

是呀 , 快点呀 That's right

你跟我来 Follow me

在哪儿？ 我的外衣在哪儿？ Where is it?

不见了 It's gone

怎么会不见的 ？ 现在该怎么办？ What are we going to do now?

我替你四处找找看 I'll look around for it

二叔公 , 你这么晚来干什么？ Don't you know it's late?

我到这里来救人 I'm coming to save life

这里没人要你救 , 你滚 , 快滚 You're not needed here Go away

你快点滚呀 Get lost

没有 It's not here

天作孽尤可为 , 自作孽不可活 God punishes the wicked

二叔公 , 她还有没得救呀？ Is she going to die?

这种贱人死不足惜 , 救来有什么用 ？ Serves here right anyway

二叔公 , 那个婴儿怎么样？ What about the baby?

罪孽 , 快点 , 不然就来不及了 , 去 Time's running out

到哪儿去找呀？ Where can it be?

哎哟 , 她生葬了我 She buried me

哎呀 ！ 在这里呀 Here!

快点 , 来吧 , 掘吧 Come on, hurry up

对啦 , 拉他出来 Drag the body out

二叔公 , 行了吗 ？ Is it all right now?

不行 , 灯也熄了 No, the light's gone

肥朱 , 我都没有办法了 I'm sorry, Fatboy

可能你是命中注定 , 我走了 That's fate, Fatboy

肥朱 , 我在下面等你 I'll wait for you in hell

二叔公 , 他这样就走了 He's gone, Uncle

你看看你自己 Look at yourself

二叔公 , 我怎么会这个样子的 Help me please

快点救我呀 I beg you

你别吵呀 , 我在想办法 Don't yell. I'm thinking

快点 , 我完了 Hurry. I'm through

二叔公 , 快点想办法 , 快点救我呀 Think of a way to help me

一时之间我都不知怎么办 Don't yell

别催我呀 , 别催呀 I'm thinking hard

朱宏利... , 你这样就去啦 , 朱宏利 Why did you die so young, Fatboy?

毛毛 How did Fatboy die

朱宏利为什么会无缘无故的死去 ？ so suddenly?

我不知道 , 他昨天晚上好像是撞了邪 He was possessed by some spirit last night

今天早上我起来 , 他就死了 He died before I woke up this morning

幸好昨天晚上我们没有在这儿睡觉 I'm glad I didn't sleep here

云姐 , 你别太伤心 , 节衷顺变吧 Please don't be so heartbroken, Yuen

节哀顺变呀 , 节衷 Calm down please

云姐 , 人死有轻如鹅毛重于泰山 Life is short, Yuen

轻于鸿毛重于泰山 , 不会讲又学人讲 You think she doesn't know that?

她刚才也没有哭得这么厉害 She's crying harder now

是你先激我的 You teased me first

你们两个走开一点 Get lost, you two

二叔公 , 朱哥临死的时候有什么话讲 Did Fatboy say anything before he died?

有 Yes

他讲什么？ What did he say?

他拼命的叫 , 叫我救他 He wanted me to help him

那你为什么不救他 ？ Why didn't you then?

我正在想办法的时候他已经死了 He died before I could do anything

朱哥 Fatboy

你为什么不多等点时间让二叔公救你 Why couldn't you wait a bit longer?

现在一切都完了 It's all over now

不一定是完了 , 我有一个办法 Not really. I've got a plan

但是没有人试过 , 不知灵不灵验 I don't know if it'll work though

二叔公 , 什么办法呀？ What's the plan like?

找一个人肯为他作重大的牺牲 I need someone to sacrifice himself

你们干什么？ What are you doing?

没...没什么 Nothing

不用怕 , 没人要你们牺牲 Nobody wants you to sacrifice

如果你们肯都没有用 You're not qualified

一定要他最亲的人才可帮他 , 最好是 We need someone closest to Fatboy

是什么？ Like whom?

他老婆 Like his wife

朱哥 , 为什么你不早点娶我进你家 Why didn't you marry me, Fatboy?

二叔公 , 现在我嫁给他可不可以呀？ Can I marry him now?

你真的想救他吗 ？ You really want to save him?

你仔细的想一想 , 能救他当然是好 If you can't save him

不然的话你就终生守寡 You'll be a widow forever

我已经下定了决心 , 朱哥生前不娶我 When Fatboy died

我就会遁入空门做尼姑 I was going to be a nun anyway

好吧 , 我尽管试试 I'll give it a try

马上拜堂 Proceed with the wedding

在女家拜堂 , 这不是引狼入室吗 ？ What kind of wedding is this?

招郎入舍呀 A wedding of life and death

你肯定这只是公鸡吗 ？ Are you sure this is a rooster?

不会的 , 我捉住它的时候 When I caught it

很多母鸡都跟着我呢 It was surrounded by hens

请请 Please

一拜天地 , 二拜高堂 Bow once Bow a second time

夫妻交拜 , 送入洞房 You are husband and wife now

人死之后的第七天叫做头七 Seven days after a man died

头七是朱宏利出殃的日子 His soul will come out

殃是死人闷在心里的一道活气 In the form of a cold wind

是生人精魂所在 Which will leave the corpse

这一道气透过尸体 And travel around

就会化成一股阴风 , 叫阴魂 Until he finds his next stop

你要在棺材后面点一盏永明灯 You should place a lamp behind the coffin

加多点灯油 , 让他的阴魂记住 Make it as bright as possible

由这里到黄泉那条路是怎么走的 ？ So that he'll recognize the way back

还要在棺材前面放一碗倒头饭 Place a bowl of rice near the coffin

等他吃饱之后 , 有力赶路 To feed him and make him fit for travelling

朱哥 , 你早去早回呀 Come back soon, Fatboy

我等你回来 I'll wait for you

二七就是回煞 On the fourteenth day

回煞是阴魂回家的日子 The soul will return

你要准备一把五色梯 Have a ladder ready

一枝芦苇花 , 放在烟囱里 Right under the chimney

哦 Yes

当朱宏利回煞时候 The soul does not return alone

前后都有阴差押着 lt'll be accompanied by ghost guards

他入屋逗留有一定时限 He can stay here for only a short time

时限一到 , 阴差就会用铁链拖他离开 Then he'll be guarded back to hell

他走迟一步的话 The guards are real mean

就会被阴差用红头黑漆棍打他的背 They treat the soul cruelly

所以你准备多点祭品 Have a lot of offerings ready

烧多点金银纸钱 Treat the guards well

一定要好好招呼阴差 Make them feel good

让他们多捞点油水 So they'll be nice to Fatboy

阴差最喜欢喝酒和吃鸡蛋 They love eggs and wine

你要煮熟鸡蛋 , 剥了壳 Make some hard boiled eggs

放在酒 里 Place them in wine

差点忘了告诉你 I forgot to tell you

阴魂说不定会变成甲虫 The soul may turn into a beetle

或飞鹅之类的昆虫 or an insect

晚上这么多昆虫 There are insects everywhere

我怎么知道那个是他 ？ How do I identify Fatboy?

你在屋顶铺满石灰 Put lime on your rooftop

如果有一只昆虫的脚上黏上了石灰 If an insect has lime on its legs

就一定是朱宏利 It must be Fatboy

我知道了 I see

还有 , 你把昆虫捉住之后 Once you've caught the insect

马上要 , 要... You have to...

要什么？ Yes?

把脸转过去 Turn around

用你的月经带包住它 Wrap it with your feminine napkin

这样 , 阴差就无法找到他了 So that the guards can't find it

只要你能挨到天亮 Hand in there until dawn

朱宏利就返魂有术了 And Fatboy will live

你挨不挨得到 , 要看你了 Can you hang in there?

我一定可以挨得到 It's done

这家人挺阔气的 These people are nice

准备了这么多吃的招呼我们 They have prepared good things for us

这么多吃的 , 太好了 Fantastic

有鸡蛋呀 There are eggs here

我们也有呀 And here too

拿不到鸡蛋 Can't get to them

我们喝了酒 , 就可以拿到鸡蛋了 Drink the wine first

你别胡说了 That's ridiculous

我们吃了鸡蛋 , 不是喝不到酒了 Eat the eggs and we can't drink the wine

别吵了 , 先喝酒再吃鸡蛋了 Drink the wine first

我终于得到你啦 At long last

你喝醉了 You're drunk

你们两个酒量这么差劲的 You're lousy drinkers

朱哥 , 如果这甲虫是你变的 If you're Fatboy

你就走到我手里来 Crawl onto my palm

朱哥 , 真的是你 I won't let them

今晚上无论如何不会让他们带你走的 take you away

四更天了 , 怎么不见朱宏利 ？ Where's Fatboy?

一定是她拿去了 , 我们现身问她要回 We'd better ask for Fatboy

朱嫂子 , 你该交回朱宏利来了 Hand us back Fatboy

我不知道你说什么 I don't understand you

如果你不交出来 , 我们就不客气了 Hand us Fatboy or we'll get rough

你们别过来呀 Don't come near me

别跟她说了 , 动她 Get her

不给她点厉害看看 Give her hell

以为我们都是饭桶 Let her know we mean business

你快交出来 Hand Fatboy over

我说什么也不交出来 No way

把她抬起来 Pick her up

放开我 Let go of me

把她抬在门上 Throw her at the door

怎么样 We'll cut Fatboy's...

你不交出来我们就把朱宏利分尸 body up

不行不行 , 快走开 , 你们别害我朱哥 No! Leave him alone

走呀 , 走开呀... go, go...

坏了 , 梯子给她拆掉了 She took the ladder away

烟囱也给封了 She blocked the chimney

快点找第二个出口吧 Find another way out

热死了 , 好热呀 It's hot

求求你 , 放了我们吧 Please let us go

没那么容易 No way

朱嫂 , 你知不知道 Mrs Fatboy

柳树鞭打鬼 We're only ghosts

打一下矮三寸 We've got our weaknesses too

现在你又用火烧我们 Please stop burning us

求求你做做好事吧 Please let us go

你们也做做好事 On one condition

别捉朱宏利了 Forget about Fatboy

捉鬼魂向阎罗王交差 We can't

是我们的责任 We have to bring him back

人死变鬼 , 鬼死落地 , 这是天理 That's the way it should be

法理不外人情 , 天理又怎样？ That's not the way it should be

朱家代代单传 Fatboy was a good man

而且朱宏利是为朋友伸冤而死 He was only avenging his friend

你们回去向阎罗王交代 Go tell your master

如果一定要捉他 Wait until Fatboy has children

等到朱家有后再捉他 Then come and bring him back

好 , 我们答应你 That's a deal

鸡都啼了 It's almost dawn

你再不放我们 Let us go

我们连鬼都不能做了 Or we'll terminate

好 All right

走吧 Let's go

我怎么没死？ Didn't I die?

朱哥 , 我终于救了你了 I saved your life

你救了我？ What?

我怎么会死在你家里？ Why am I at your house?

不是我 , 是我们的家里 This is our house

我们 ？ What?

我们已经结为夫妇了 We're married

怎么结的 ？ How could that happen?

二叔公叫毛毛找公鸡帮你拜了堂 Uncle performed the wedding ceremony

你说什么？ What?

那么他有没有帮我洞房呀？ Did he play bridegroom too?

这种事情怎么帮呀 Of course not

还是我自己来的好 I'll do it myself

朱哥 , 阴差说等你有了后就带你走 The guards will wait until we have children

我现在才明白 , 做人不一定要活得久 Life is short

最要紧活得精彩 , 我们来 Let's go for it