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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,030 --> 00:00:06,030 _ 2 00:00:06,031 --> 00:00:07,924 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:10,202 --> 00:00:11,886 (SHRIEKS) 4 00:00:16,314 --> 00:00:18,329 _ 5 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,247 (TIRES SCREECH) 6 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,171 D'oh! 7 00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:28,435 (GRUNTS) 8 00:00:28,512 --> 00:00:32,009 - (WOOZY GROANING) - (WHIRRING) 9 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,178 - (GRUNTING) - ("WE CAN MAKE THE WORLD STOP" BY THE GLITCH MOB PLAYING) 10 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,259 (SHOUTS) 11 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,488 (SHOUTING) 12 00:00:39,565 --> 00:00:40,665 ♪ ♪ 13 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,662 (PROPELLER WHIRRING) 14 00:00:46,739 --> 00:00:48,547 - Flanders. - (SHOUTS) 15 00:00:48,624 --> 00:00:50,508 ♪ ♪ 16 00:00:54,794 --> 00:00:56,378 _ 17 00:01:10,262 --> 00:01:12,029 (TIRES SCREECH) 18 00:01:19,271 --> 00:01:20,304 (SCREAMS) 19 00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:27,036 (SCREAMS) 20 00:01:27,112 --> 00:01:28,129 (SHATTERS) 21 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:32,258 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 22 00:01:39,249 --> 00:01:41,008 ♪ ♪ 23 00:01:41,085 --> 00:01:42,384 Hmm. 24 00:01:42,437 --> 00:01:44,219 - (CHITTERING) - (YELPS) 25 00:01:44,296 --> 00:01:46,522 Maybe we should find a new playground. 26 00:01:46,881 --> 00:01:48,223 _ 27 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,921 ("LA PRIMAVERA" BY VIVALDI PLAYING) 28 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,590 Oh. Well, this looks nice. 29 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,564 Har-har. 30 00:01:55,641 --> 00:01:57,094 Shady trees, 31 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,817 bathrooms with doors 32 00:01:58,894 --> 00:02:00,619 and that loopy-loop slide 33 00:02:00,696 --> 00:02:04,239 dumps you out on soft recycled tires. 34 00:02:04,316 --> 00:02:06,408 Oh, Pirellis. 35 00:02:06,485 --> 00:02:09,253 Oh, look! It's your friend Hudson. 36 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,526 My son seems to really like your daughter. 37 00:02:35,231 --> 00:02:36,772 - Courtney. - Marge. 38 00:02:36,849 --> 00:02:38,991 (CHUCKLES) Is that ironic or retro? 39 00:02:39,068 --> 00:02:40,326 It's my name. 40 00:02:40,403 --> 00:02:42,828 They're having so much fun. 41 00:02:44,148 --> 00:02:46,573 - Is she free for a playdate tomorrow? - Yes. 42 00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:48,871 Has she been in the same room as a peanut recently? 43 00:02:48,971 --> 00:02:51,286 - No. - Can I check off her vaccinations? 44 00:02:51,363 --> 00:02:54,173 TB? DTaP? Measles-mumps-rubella? 45 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:55,758 Yes, yes, yes. 46 00:02:58,087 --> 00:02:59,178 Breast or bottle? 47 00:02:59,255 --> 00:03:00,796 Bottle, but I'm not a monster. 48 00:03:00,873 --> 00:03:02,131 I can bring cookies. 49 00:03:02,207 --> 00:03:03,682 (LAUGHS) 50 00:03:03,759 --> 00:03:05,851 White sugar. That's hilarious. 51 00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:08,095 I'll have to tell my partner you said that. 52 00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:11,502 Well, I'm gonna tell my partner you mocked white sugar. 53 00:03:11,526 --> 00:03:13,067 See you tomorrow. 54 00:03:19,558 --> 00:03:21,483 Pancakes are on the table, Homie. 55 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,036 And flapjacks will be ready in a few minutes. 56 00:03:24,113 --> 00:03:26,205 Marge, I'm trying to lose weight. 57 00:03:26,282 --> 00:03:28,115 Pancakes will be fine. 58 00:03:28,192 --> 00:03:29,208 Are you sure? 59 00:03:29,285 --> 00:03:31,688 I have to face facts. In some small ways, 60 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,587 I've let myself go. 61 00:03:34,790 --> 00:03:36,193 What's wrong? Who died? 62 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,528 We're worried you will. 63 00:03:37,552 --> 00:03:40,127 We want you to live longer, Dad. 64 00:03:40,204 --> 00:03:41,336 Never what I want. 65 00:03:41,413 --> 00:03:42,888 (SIGHS) Fine. 66 00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:44,798 You know what, skip the pancakes. 67 00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:46,225 I'll just have... 68 00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:47,871 a grapefruit to go. 69 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,970 (GASPING) 70 00:03:50,047 --> 00:03:53,849 I didn't see the moon landing or the fall of the Berlin Wall, 71 00:03:53,926 --> 00:03:57,278 but I did see my father take a grapefruit to go. 72 00:03:59,315 --> 00:04:02,691 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS) 73 00:04:02,768 --> 00:04:05,536 (TIRES SCREECH) 74 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,080 Thanks a lot, pal! 75 00:04:08,157 --> 00:04:09,698 You cost us the pennant! 76 00:04:09,775 --> 00:04:11,083 Yeah, right there! 77 00:04:12,587 --> 00:04:15,087 Ah, yesterday's pizza. 78 00:04:15,164 --> 00:04:17,256 I've been dreaming about you, my friend. 79 00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:20,737 While I slept, I said, "Extra large." 80 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,837 But I told my wife I said, "Sexy Marge." 81 00:04:23,914 --> 00:04:26,381 (LAUGHS) 82 00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:28,058 ("THE BLUE DANUBE" BY JOHANN STRAUSS II PLAYING) 83 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:39,353 Oh, why didn't I put on my pizza-eating gloves? 84 00:04:39,429 --> 00:04:41,188 Oh... 85 00:04:41,265 --> 00:04:43,407 ("HALLOWEEN THEME" BY JOHN CARPENTER PLAYING) 86 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,122 (PHONE RINGS) 87 00:04:50,199 --> 00:04:51,540 CARL: Where are you, Homer? 88 00:04:51,626 --> 00:04:53,392 Burns just called a staff meeting. 89 00:04:53,424 --> 00:04:56,295 The only seats are next to him. 90 00:05:00,617 --> 00:05:02,301 Oh, God, I need a miracle. 91 00:05:02,378 --> 00:05:05,449 Hey, why don't you bring a balloon to your coworkers? 92 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:08,557 They're like kites without the hard work. 93 00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:12,886 How long have you been selling balloons? 94 00:05:12,963 --> 00:05:15,097 It's an interesting story. 95 00:05:15,173 --> 00:05:17,983 ♪ Well, this is a story of a poor mountain man ♪ 96 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,130 ♪ Spoke worse English than Mr. Jackie Chan ♪ 97 00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:22,321 ♪ Then one day, he was tendin' to his still ♪ 98 00:05:22,398 --> 00:05:26,108 ♪ Heard a hissing sound and his pants began to fill ♪ 99 00:05:26,184 --> 00:05:27,234 Helium. 100 00:05:27,311 --> 00:05:28,569 See-through gold. 101 00:05:28,645 --> 00:05:31,405 Symbol, H-E. 102 00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:33,073 ♪ Well, the first thing you know... ♪ 103 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,241 (EXHALES) 104 00:05:34,318 --> 00:05:35,576 He's gone. 105 00:05:35,652 --> 00:05:38,245 My best friend is gone. 106 00:05:38,322 --> 00:05:39,621 BURNS: I want you to know 107 00:05:39,698 --> 00:05:42,920 that the coworker you thought was Chip Incognito 108 00:05:42,971 --> 00:05:45,419 was actually me undercover. 109 00:05:45,495 --> 00:05:47,680 Sorry I'm late, everybody. Here, have a balloon. 110 00:05:47,756 --> 00:05:51,000 Simpson, Mr. Burns is a Fortune 500 CEO. 111 00:05:51,076 --> 00:05:53,335 - He's not going to... - Quiet, you fool. 112 00:05:53,412 --> 00:05:55,366 (INHALES) Mmm. 113 00:05:55,390 --> 00:05:56,839 (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE): Pure, uncut helium. 114 00:05:56,915 --> 00:05:59,392 Thanks to birthday balloons, rarer than ever. 115 00:05:59,468 --> 00:06:01,844 Smithers, might I remind you we pay a fortune 116 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,897 for helium to cool our reactors? 117 00:06:04,974 --> 00:06:05,975 (HIGH-PITCHED): Right as always, sir. 118 00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:07,900 That price is sky-high! 119 00:06:07,977 --> 00:06:09,384 Where did you get this? 120 00:06:09,462 --> 00:06:11,882 Oh, the bumpkin I got it from has tons of it. 121 00:06:11,906 --> 00:06:13,147 But I got to warn you... 122 00:06:13,223 --> 00:06:15,649 he has no idea of what it's worth. 123 00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:17,243 Excellent. (CHUCKLES) 124 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,361 How I love a good swindle. 125 00:06:19,438 --> 00:06:21,058 - What do you think? - (WHIMPERS) 126 00:06:21,082 --> 00:06:22,698 He called on me! 127 00:06:23,338 --> 00:06:26,585 Bah. As for you, Simpson, Employee of the Month. 128 00:06:28,947 --> 00:06:30,072 HOMER: So, Marge, 129 00:06:30,149 --> 00:06:32,258 I killed it at the staff meeting today. 130 00:06:32,335 --> 00:06:34,168 The key is preparation. 131 00:06:34,244 --> 00:06:36,740 Something amazing has happened to Maggie. 132 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,931 She's in love. 133 00:06:42,795 --> 00:06:44,053 Aw. 134 00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:47,189 If this gets any cuter, I'm gonna bust. 135 00:06:48,425 --> 00:06:50,517 Aw! Ooh! 136 00:06:50,594 --> 00:06:51,922 (BARKING) 137 00:06:51,946 --> 00:06:55,072 Aw...! 138 00:06:58,843 --> 00:07:00,551 (KNOCKING) 139 00:07:00,722 --> 00:07:03,100 BRANDINE: Cletus, get the dang door! 140 00:07:03,124 --> 00:07:06,575 I can't very well answer the door with an unloaded shotgun, 141 00:07:06,652 --> 00:07:08,869 can I, woman? 142 00:07:08,946 --> 00:07:10,746 (STILTED SOUTHERN ACCENT): Howdy, neighbor. 143 00:07:10,823 --> 00:07:14,750 May I offer you some Manhattan squirrel chowder? 144 00:07:14,827 --> 00:07:17,948 (SNIFFING) You smell like indoor plumbin'. 145 00:07:17,972 --> 00:07:19,213 (NORMAL VOICE:) Mm. He's onto us. 146 00:07:19,289 --> 00:07:21,256 No need to pretend we're inbred hicks. 147 00:07:21,309 --> 00:07:22,641 (GRUNTS) No offense, goober. 148 00:07:22,718 --> 00:07:24,727 None taken. 149 00:07:25,554 --> 00:07:26,824 (BLEATS) 150 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:30,224 All right, Spuckler, you've got helium, which I want. 151 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,462 I've got what you want, 152 00:07:31,486 --> 00:07:33,652 a tin cup filled with dimes. 153 00:07:33,729 --> 00:07:36,155 - Let's make a deal. - (JANGLING) 154 00:07:36,232 --> 00:07:37,731 Now, hold on. 155 00:07:37,808 --> 00:07:40,067 I likes to have a drink with a feller 156 00:07:40,144 --> 00:07:42,806 beforen I make a busy-ness deal. 157 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,498 (CHUCKLES) I have imbibed every intoxicant 158 00:07:45,574 --> 00:07:48,145 from sweet Yale beer to Flint, Michigan water. 159 00:07:48,169 --> 00:07:49,618 Do your worst. 160 00:07:49,695 --> 00:07:51,462 (GULPS, SHUDDERS) 161 00:07:53,198 --> 00:07:55,319 Absolutely no effect upon my... 162 00:07:55,343 --> 00:07:57,154 (GROANING) 163 00:07:57,178 --> 00:07:59,845 (UPBEAT CABARET MUSIC PLAYING) 164 00:08:10,174 --> 00:08:12,099 Sir, maybe this Spuckler fellow 165 00:08:12,176 --> 00:08:13,809 is a little smarter than we thought. 166 00:08:13,886 --> 00:08:15,172 Nonsense. 167 00:08:15,196 --> 00:08:17,113 Ow! 168 00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:19,606 (WHIMPERS) 169 00:08:19,683 --> 00:08:22,443 Hmm. Perhaps it takes an idiot to catch an idiot. 170 00:08:22,519 --> 00:08:24,681 Hello! Could I get a little help? 171 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,414 I dropped my sandwich in here. 172 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:31,452 You and Mr. Spuckler will enter into what the hoi polloi 173 00:08:31,528 --> 00:08:33,379 called a "friendship," 174 00:08:33,456 --> 00:08:35,692 then use that friendship to destroy his life 175 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,027 from the inside out. 176 00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:39,168 I don't know. He's got kids. 177 00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:41,887 I can't cheat a family out of their home. 178 00:08:41,964 --> 00:08:44,034 Mm-hmm. But you're perfectly fine 179 00:08:44,058 --> 00:08:45,674 cheating me out of their home. 180 00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:48,302 Oh. You're trying to confuse me. 181 00:08:48,378 --> 00:08:50,637 I got to get out. Where's the trap door? 182 00:08:50,714 --> 00:08:52,181 (WHIRRING) 183 00:08:52,257 --> 00:08:53,348 (HOARSELY): Save me. 184 00:08:53,425 --> 00:08:55,642 You know Weinstein from Accounting. 185 00:08:55,719 --> 00:08:56,477 (CHUCKLES) 186 00:08:56,553 --> 00:08:58,020 If you're confused, 187 00:08:58,096 --> 00:09:01,552 perhaps these two gentlemen can clarify things. 188 00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:04,026 This fellow loves inflicting pain. 189 00:09:04,102 --> 00:09:05,652 And this fellow loves to laugh 190 00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:07,913 while he watches this one produce the pain. 191 00:09:07,990 --> 00:09:10,157 Are you the pain guy or the laugh guy? 192 00:09:10,234 --> 00:09:11,061 - (GRUNTS) - (GROANS) 193 00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:13,160 (LAUGHING) 194 00:09:13,237 --> 00:09:15,065 Answer the question. 195 00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:17,673 - D'oh! - (LAUGHING) 196 00:09:20,202 --> 00:09:21,835 Hello? 197 00:09:21,912 --> 00:09:24,213 Maggie Simpson here for a playdate. 198 00:09:24,289 --> 00:09:25,909 COURTNEY: Hudson's on a conference call. 199 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,308 - I'll buzz you in. - (BUZZES) 200 00:09:29,011 --> 00:09:31,011 You have a lovely home. 201 00:09:31,088 --> 00:09:32,916 What is this floor made out of? 202 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,107 The tile was a Venetian church 203 00:09:35,184 --> 00:09:37,776 which we dismantled, shipped over by small boat 204 00:09:37,853 --> 00:09:41,188 and had lovingly installed by a 99-year-old I.M. Pei. 205 00:09:41,265 --> 00:09:42,615 That sounds pricey. 206 00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:44,858 No, the toilet is pricey. 207 00:09:44,935 --> 00:09:48,403 The plumbers we hired to replace it are very inefficient. 208 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,415 (DONKEY KONG COUNTRY THEME PLAYING) 209 00:09:54,778 --> 00:09:57,371 ♪ ♪ 210 00:09:57,447 --> 00:09:59,248 Let's go, you little runts. 211 00:09:59,324 --> 00:10:01,967 What? Are your diapers full? 212 00:10:02,044 --> 00:10:04,637 Would you like some coffee as you fill out a sexual history? 213 00:10:04,713 --> 00:10:06,213 Sexual history? 214 00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:08,257 So our babies can be friends? 215 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:10,287 Here's mine. 216 00:10:10,311 --> 00:10:12,978 (MECHANICAL BARKING) 217 00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:14,596 All right. 218 00:10:14,673 --> 00:10:17,191 Cream, no sugar. 219 00:10:18,158 --> 00:10:19,836 _ 220 00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:27,117 So unusual to see a baby with a pacifier these days. 221 00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:31,095 _ 222 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,832 Your baby has such interesting hair. 223 00:10:35,986 --> 00:10:38,120 You don't mind that I babyproofed your baby 224 00:10:38,196 --> 00:10:40,414 - from my baby, do you? - Yes, I do. 225 00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:41,891 Very much. 226 00:10:41,894 --> 00:10:44,251 Maggie, let's go. Now. 227 00:10:44,328 --> 00:10:45,989 And we're not coming back. 228 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,097 (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS) 229 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,017 (PICKAX TAPPING) 230 00:10:59,343 --> 00:11:01,360 (SOUTHERN ACCENT): Whatcha doing there, friend? 231 00:11:01,437 --> 00:11:03,404 Good to see you again. 232 00:11:04,365 --> 00:11:06,481 - A-yup. - A-yup. 233 00:11:06,558 --> 00:11:08,275 Nothing like a good "a-yup" 234 00:11:08,352 --> 00:11:10,681 - to put a man at ease. - A-yup. 235 00:11:10,705 --> 00:11:12,613 - A-yup. - A-yup. 236 00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:14,781 - A-yup. - A-nope. 237 00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:16,325 I mean, a-yup. 238 00:11:16,401 --> 00:11:17,406 Say, friend, 239 00:11:17,453 --> 00:11:19,523 looks like you're working awful hard 240 00:11:19,547 --> 00:11:23,026 to suck the helium into them thar Mylar balloons. 241 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,883 Oh, it's powerful tiresome. 242 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,053 But the Lord done put helium under my feet, 243 00:11:28,130 --> 00:11:30,367 and I must not spill it into the sky. 244 00:11:30,391 --> 00:11:31,598 BURNS: Now, listen. 245 00:11:31,675 --> 00:11:34,601 Explain that you have a way to make his life easier. 246 00:11:34,678 --> 00:11:36,028 Pretend it's your idea. 247 00:11:36,105 --> 00:11:37,938 He's stupid enough to believe you have an idea. 248 00:11:38,015 --> 00:11:39,698 Say, "What if I told you 249 00:11:39,775 --> 00:11:42,012 there was a way to harvest that noble gas?" 250 00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:46,038 "What if I told you there was a way to harvest that noble gas 251 00:11:46,115 --> 00:11:48,685 without the strain on your mouth puffer." 252 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:50,284 I'd say, "Aw, pshaw," 253 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,995 but then I'd follow it with a "Go on." 254 00:11:53,071 --> 00:11:55,164 - BURNS: Excellent. - "Excellent." 255 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,957 BURNS: No, don't say excellent. 256 00:11:57,034 --> 00:11:58,834 "No, don't say excellent." 257 00:11:58,911 --> 00:12:00,002 BURNS: No, don't say that, either. 258 00:12:00,078 --> 00:12:02,337 "No, don't say that, either." 259 00:12:02,414 --> 00:12:04,390 - BURNS: Just shut up. - "Just shut up." 260 00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:07,037 I'll have to mull your proposal, 261 00:12:07,061 --> 00:12:10,012 especially that last crazy part. 262 00:12:10,088 --> 00:12:13,974 (EXHALES) You just saved me a passel of work. 263 00:12:14,051 --> 00:12:16,977 Now I can spend more time making more family. 264 00:12:17,054 --> 00:12:18,571 Homer J. Simpson. 265 00:12:18,647 --> 00:12:22,024 Cletus Delroy Montfort Bigglesworth Spuckler. 266 00:12:22,503 --> 00:12:23,834 Now, let's go yonder 267 00:12:23,858 --> 00:12:26,245 and get ourselves a mess of catfish. 268 00:12:26,322 --> 00:12:30,199 All right, I'm gonna get my arm so deep into that catfish hole, 269 00:12:30,275 --> 00:12:33,127 that ole chucklehead just bites my bone. 270 00:12:35,113 --> 00:12:36,922 Easy-peasy. 271 00:12:37,908 --> 00:12:39,425 (SCREAMS) 272 00:12:39,502 --> 00:12:42,211 Now, don't scare him. It sours up the flavor. 273 00:12:42,287 --> 00:12:44,305 (SCREAMING) 274 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:48,800 (WHIMPERS) It's licking my eye. 275 00:12:48,877 --> 00:12:51,345 - (GRUNTING) - (SCREAMING) 276 00:12:51,421 --> 00:12:53,013 - Is it dead? - Mm-hmm. 277 00:12:53,090 --> 00:12:54,418 Thank you. 278 00:12:54,442 --> 00:12:59,069 All right, nothing like a good ole Spuckler family fish fry. 279 00:13:00,138 --> 00:13:02,064 Dear Lord, thank you for bringing 280 00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:04,094 this hairless swamp beast our way. 281 00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:08,237 - Aw. - His wisdom regarding your mystery balloon gas 282 00:13:08,313 --> 00:13:11,101 has helped us Spucklers become a two-radio family. 283 00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:13,604 Homer, I want to be your partner. 284 00:13:13,628 --> 00:13:16,295 Seal the deal with a hillbilly handshake. 285 00:13:16,372 --> 00:13:17,463 Come on. 286 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,778 I consider you family now, 287 00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:25,304 which is not really that select a circle. 288 00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:31,310 (UPBEAT CABARET MUSIC PLAYING) 289 00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:46,160 BURNS: Excellent. 290 00:13:46,184 --> 00:13:47,660 (GASPS) Where'd that come from? 291 00:13:47,736 --> 00:13:50,153 Well done, Simpson. We'll take him for everything 292 00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,572 except the couch on his lawn. 293 00:13:51,648 --> 00:13:53,165 Well, but we're family. 294 00:13:53,242 --> 00:13:55,617 - Couldn't you just screw him half over? - (SCOFFS) 295 00:13:55,694 --> 00:13:57,244 No one screws anyone half over. 296 00:13:57,321 --> 00:13:58,716 It's like having half a billion dollars. 297 00:13:58,807 --> 00:14:00,297 What's the point of that? 298 00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,292 What's up? 299 00:14:03,368 --> 00:14:04,751 I think we're both upset, 300 00:14:04,828 --> 00:14:06,657 but I'm worried you're gonna talk first. 301 00:14:06,681 --> 00:14:08,347 No, you go ahead. 302 00:14:08,424 --> 00:14:10,728 (SIGHS) I'm supposed to screw over a guy 303 00:14:10,812 --> 00:14:12,518 that's only been nice to me. 304 00:14:12,595 --> 00:14:14,687 I'm denying Maggie happiness 305 00:14:14,763 --> 00:14:16,826 because I can't stand the mother of her friend. 306 00:14:16,916 --> 00:14:19,191 Aw. Maggie'll be fine. 307 00:14:19,268 --> 00:14:20,276 I just played with her. 308 00:14:21,937 --> 00:14:24,313 (CHUCKLES) She still thinks I've got her nose. 309 00:14:24,389 --> 00:14:25,606 Wait, where'd I put it? 310 00:14:26,248 --> 00:14:28,617 Not here. No. No. 311 00:14:30,489 --> 00:14:32,746 Oh, look what you found. 312 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,913 _ 313 00:14:35,079 --> 00:14:37,042 I have something I need to tell you. 314 00:14:37,119 --> 00:14:37,985 (GROANS) 315 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,729 Hudson had a birthday party, 316 00:14:39,807 --> 00:14:42,840 but I didn't tell you, so you missed it. 317 00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,293 I can explain. 318 00:14:46,370 --> 00:14:48,721 That other mom was just so annoying 319 00:14:48,797 --> 00:14:51,673 with her aerial silks and those yoga pants. 320 00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:53,870 She does Pilates, not yoga. 321 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,806 She made me feel bad about myself. 322 00:14:55,879 --> 00:14:59,315 You get it, right? Right? 323 00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:07,906 ♪ ♪ 324 00:15:07,983 --> 00:15:10,053 Get this contract signed, Simpson. 325 00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:11,277 - Or what? - Hmm. 326 00:15:11,354 --> 00:15:13,395 Perhaps you need a little taste of what's in store. 327 00:15:13,472 --> 00:15:14,521 - (GRUNTS) - Ow! 328 00:15:14,598 --> 00:15:16,590 (LAUGHS) 329 00:15:16,779 --> 00:15:17,783 Sorry, Smithers. 330 00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:19,902 We didn't want to leave a mark that Cletus could see. 331 00:15:19,978 --> 00:15:21,954 But you could've warned me first. 332 00:15:22,031 --> 00:15:23,622 Fair enough. Watch your back. 333 00:15:23,699 --> 00:15:26,876 - (GRUNTS) - (LAUGHS) 334 00:15:28,654 --> 00:15:31,108 Well, if it ain't my bestest friend 335 00:15:31,132 --> 00:15:32,915 on God's flat Earth. 336 00:15:32,991 --> 00:15:35,000 - Oh. - So, what's in your hand? 337 00:15:35,077 --> 00:15:37,878 Some sort of a friendship certificate? 338 00:15:37,955 --> 00:15:39,305 Uh, you know, just something 339 00:15:39,382 --> 00:15:42,216 to put our partnership on the up-and-up. 340 00:15:42,292 --> 00:15:45,386 Hey, what's more up-and-up than the helium business? 341 00:15:45,462 --> 00:15:47,304 (LAUGHS) 342 00:15:47,339 --> 00:15:49,848 - Ain't you gonna read it? - I trust you, 343 00:15:49,925 --> 00:15:53,102 like a sheep trusts a friendly wolf. 344 00:15:53,178 --> 00:15:55,029 (SQUAWKS) 345 00:15:58,717 --> 00:16:00,275 I signs with an "X" 346 00:16:00,352 --> 00:16:03,037 'cause that's the kind of iPhone I got. 347 00:16:03,998 --> 00:16:05,476 And now for the second slash 348 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,907 that makes it official. 349 00:16:06,984 --> 00:16:08,834 Oh, I need a straightedge. 350 00:16:08,911 --> 00:16:11,315 Straight-Edge! Get over here, boy! 351 00:16:11,339 --> 00:16:13,255 Yes, Daddy. 352 00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:16,342 I can't do it. 353 00:16:18,421 --> 00:16:21,422 - You done floated my mark-maker. - I won't 354 00:16:21,498 --> 00:16:24,328 let you sign it. It's all a trick to steal your helium. 355 00:16:24,352 --> 00:16:28,262 You was gonna steal from a man what has 29 kids? 356 00:16:28,338 --> 00:16:30,501 BRANDINE: 30. (GASPS) 31! 357 00:16:30,525 --> 00:16:32,691 Yeah, but I told you before it was too late. 358 00:16:35,938 --> 00:16:38,313 Okay, we're still buddies. 359 00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:40,677 Getting mad at city folk for lying 360 00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:42,943 is like getting mad at your six-year-old 361 00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:44,778 for not cleaning her gun. (CHUCKLES) 362 00:16:44,855 --> 00:16:47,156 - Put her there. - Uh, that's your left hand. 363 00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:49,158 They's both left hands. 364 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,188 Simpson, you fool. 365 00:16:51,212 --> 00:16:53,045 I hope you kissed your wife well this morning, 366 00:16:53,122 --> 00:16:54,955 because it will be the last one. 367 00:16:55,032 --> 00:16:56,215 Well, it was a medium. 368 00:16:56,292 --> 00:16:57,591 Part of it hit her ear. 369 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:01,128 Hey, you harm my friend, 370 00:17:01,205 --> 00:17:03,130 you ain't getting balloon one of my helium. 371 00:17:03,207 --> 00:17:04,465 And I mean ever. 372 00:17:04,541 --> 00:17:06,036 Quite the dilemma. 373 00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:09,011 Smithers, solve this if you don't want another kick. 374 00:17:09,087 --> 00:17:10,396 Cletus, about your helium. 375 00:17:10,473 --> 00:17:12,543 What if we paid you a fair price? 376 00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:14,567 County fair or state fair? 377 00:17:14,643 --> 00:17:16,351 I can't lose to someone so stupid. 378 00:17:16,428 --> 00:17:17,862 Goons, get him. 379 00:17:26,104 --> 00:17:27,488 We'll pay you what's right. 380 00:17:27,564 --> 00:17:31,083 We have a deal. Have your people call my basset hound. 381 00:17:31,979 --> 00:17:34,753 Well, this'll help you forget your billionaire troubles. 382 00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:37,298 Have a toke on this, friend. 383 00:17:39,335 --> 00:17:40,926 (HIGH-PITCHED): Help me! Help me! 384 00:17:41,003 --> 00:17:42,094 You'll rue the day. 385 00:17:42,171 --> 00:17:44,241 Smithers, power lines! 386 00:17:44,265 --> 00:17:46,182 - (SCREAMS) - (GOON LAUGHING) 387 00:17:49,243 --> 00:17:50,269 Oh, Maggie. 388 00:17:50,346 --> 00:17:52,888 You're too young to be miserable the rest of your life. 389 00:17:52,965 --> 00:17:54,251 In this rom-com, 390 00:17:54,275 --> 00:17:56,517 I am not going to be the mean mother. 391 00:17:56,593 --> 00:17:59,089 Let's go. 392 00:17:59,113 --> 00:18:00,571 (TIRES SCREECH) 393 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,963 (SIGHS) You know, the one thing we have in common 394 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,610 is we're willing to pretend 395 00:18:19,634 --> 00:18:22,134 that we like each other for our children. 396 00:18:22,211 --> 00:18:24,303 To that, I say, "Kiss-kiss." 397 00:18:27,457 --> 00:18:29,391 ("WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING) 398 00:18:46,509 --> 00:18:48,327 ("YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND" BY QUEEN PLAYING) 399 00:18:52,333 --> 00:18:56,451 ♪ Ooh, we're sharing some grits ♪ 400 00:18:56,528 --> 00:19:00,673 ♪ Yours has butter, mine has possum gravy ♪ 401 00:19:00,749 --> 00:19:03,250 ♪ We're pals, so I eat your weird food ♪ 402 00:19:03,327 --> 00:19:04,960 ♪ Woo-hoo-hoo ♪ 403 00:19:05,037 --> 00:19:08,992 ♪ Ooh, you're making me fat now, Homer ♪ 404 00:19:09,016 --> 00:19:12,226 ♪ I don't have long to live ♪ 405 00:19:13,412 --> 00:19:16,188 ♪ Ooh, you're the best friend ♪ 406 00:19:16,265 --> 00:19:18,599 ♪ That I ever had ♪ 407 00:19:18,675 --> 00:19:22,673 ♪ You're the one who keeps my balloons flyin' ♪ 408 00:19:22,697 --> 00:19:26,532 ♪ You're my moonshine, and I want you to know ♪ 409 00:19:26,609 --> 00:19:29,012 ♪ That I'm not sniffing glue ♪ 410 00:19:29,036 --> 00:19:32,683 ♪ I really love you ♪ 411 00:19:32,707 --> 00:19:36,792 ♪ Oh, you're my best friend ♪ 412 00:19:37,953 --> 00:19:42,192 ♪ Ooh, you gave me your tooth ♪ 413 00:19:42,216 --> 00:19:46,218 ♪ I love that you're whittlin' a stool for me ♪ 414 00:19:46,295 --> 00:19:50,534 ♪ I need two, one for each cheek ♪ 415 00:19:50,558 --> 00:19:54,727 ♪ Two, you'll have 'em next week, now, Homer ♪ 416 00:19:54,803 --> 00:19:59,398 ♪ Cool, let's pee in the creek ♪ 417 00:19:59,475 --> 00:20:02,067 ♪ Ooh, you're a mountain man ♪ 418 00:20:02,144 --> 00:20:04,881 ♪ Who lives off the grid ♪ 419 00:20:04,905 --> 00:20:08,273 ♪ You chased off Burns with a shotgun ♪ 420 00:20:08,350 --> 00:20:10,220 ♪ That was such fun ♪ 421 00:20:10,244 --> 00:20:12,889 ♪ And I love to drink ♪ 422 00:20:12,913 --> 00:20:15,322 ♪ The methanol ♪ 423 00:20:15,399 --> 00:20:18,417 ♪ From your still ♪ 424 00:20:18,494 --> 00:20:22,588 ♪ Ooh, you're my best friend ♪ 425 00:20:22,665 --> 00:20:25,832 CLETUS: ♪ Ooh, you're my best friend ♪ 426 00:20:25,909 --> 00:20:30,407 HOMER: ♪ Ooh, I might not live ♪ 427 00:20:30,431 --> 00:20:34,383 BOTH: ♪ Ooh, you're my best friend. ♪ 428 00:21:20,005 --> 00:21:21,188 Shh! 429 00:21:24,341 --> 00:21:26,960 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 30120

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