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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,680
'Dr Phillips,
you are needed in surgery.'
2
00:00:04,715 --> 00:00:06,245
Right, OK.
3
00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:11,280
Now if you'd like to get ready to be
examined and Dr Lawrence will be in shortly.
4
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:13,280
OK, thanks, yeah. Thanks.
5
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,320
This programme contains adult
humour.
6
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,140
I've been thinking.
7
00:00:29,175 --> 00:00:30,880
Don't freak out.
8
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,520
I think we should move back
to Bristol.
9
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:42,840
We only really started
arguing when we moved up here.
10
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:45,560
Well, what about our jobs?
11
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,445
I could be based down
in Bristol.
12
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:51,960
I'm sure they'd have
you back in your old job.
13
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,400
This could be good for us.
14
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,400
I'm not saying 'no'.
15
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,400
But I just need to think about it.
16
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,360
I'm Ms Lawrence. I'm your surgeon.
17
00:01:19,395 --> 00:01:22,605
So, er, how do you want me?
18
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,125
You only needed to lower
your trousers and pants.
19
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:31,840
I know, but they looked ridiculous bunched up around
my ankles, so, er, I lost the trousers completely.
20
00:01:31,875 --> 00:01:36,640
Now we're looking at jacket and
shirt, naked, shoes and socks.
21
00:01:36,675 --> 00:01:38,917
That's not doing me any favours.
22
00:01:38,952 --> 00:01:41,125
So, I lose the jacket and shirt.
23
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:45,400
Naked, shoes and socks.
I mean they've got to go, right?
24
00:01:45,435 --> 00:01:47,405
So, er,
25
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,000
here we are.
26
00:01:50,035 --> 00:01:52,525
So I see.
27
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,805
I've got your test results.
Right, right.
28
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,400
We'll just have a quick chat
before I examine you. Take a seat.
29
00:01:58,435 --> 00:02:01,800
So, er do you want me to
get dressed? It's up to you.
30
00:02:01,835 --> 00:02:04,680
However you're most... comfortable.
31
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,080
No, I... I'm sorry this,
this is not working for me.
32
00:02:18,115 --> 00:02:20,045
Oh.
33
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,120
Here. Thank you, thanks.
34
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,200
Have you told everyone
we're back together?
35
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,200
Yeah, I think most people.
36
00:02:30,235 --> 00:02:33,080
Well, does Jack know?
37
00:02:33,115 --> 00:02:34,640
No, not yet.
38
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,965
You work with him every day.
39
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:45,520
I know, it's just not exactly great
timing - the lump and everything.
40
00:02:45,555 --> 00:02:47,925
"I'm back with my husband!
41
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,680
"Good for me!
Sorry about your testicle."
42
00:02:51,715 --> 00:02:54,480
How is he? Terrified.
43
00:02:54,515 --> 00:02:56,005
Other than that,
44
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,200
he's his usual irritating self.
45
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,680
Have you checked yours?
I went down there with a mirror.
46
00:03:03,715 --> 00:03:06,400
I've checked every
wrinkle, crinkle and wrunkle.
47
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,640
A simple 'yes' would've done.
48
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,600
Oh, got to get ready.
49
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,600
Oh, mother...! I'm sorry, sorry,
sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
50
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,280
What is it with you and my legs?
51
00:03:24,315 --> 00:03:26,240
I don't know. Sorry.
52
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,280
I'm afraid it's not good news.
Oh, Jesus. I'm dying.
53
00:03:32,315 --> 00:03:34,045
You're not dying.
54
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,320
The lump is cancerous, but it's not
malignant. We've caught it early.
55
00:03:37,355 --> 00:03:40,217
I won't know for certain
until I operate,
56
00:03:40,252 --> 00:03:43,080
but we may have to remove
the testicle.
57
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,805
Even if we have to remove
the testicle...
58
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,480
Can you just, can you just
stop saying that, please.
59
00:03:53,515 --> 00:03:55,525
You can still have children.
60
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,920
You think I'm going to be able
to find a woman as a one-ball?
61
00:03:58,955 --> 00:04:02,245
I mean, let's face it, it's not
going to look very pretty, is it?
62
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,365
Aesthetically, they're not the most
attractive things in the world anyway.
63
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:10,520
Oh, great, I tell you what, why don't you cut
them both off, make yourself a pair of earrings!
64
00:04:10,555 --> 00:04:13,245
Oh, Jesus!
65
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,440
I've offended you. You're going
to be cutting into my testicles
66
00:04:16,475 --> 00:04:19,600
with a scalpel and I've offended
you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
67
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:22,605
I'll tell you what.
68
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:27,960
Can we start again? I'm going to
go and get dressed. Yeah.
69
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,680
I'm sorry. I just wish I hadn't
made all those cancer jokes.
70
00:05:22,715 --> 00:05:25,160
That's really come back to
bite me on the arse.
71
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,560
Have you ever, you know,
with a one-ball?
72
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,400
Er, I can't say I have.
73
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,885
RINGS DOORBELL
74
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,400
Haven't, or wouldn't?
75
00:05:39,435 --> 00:05:40,885
Haven't.
76
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:46,040
OK. You're disgustingly drunk. You pick up some
sleazy guy in a club. You take him back to yours.
77
00:05:46,075 --> 00:05:49,765
You're on your hands and knees,
you unzip his fly...
78
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,920
Sounds like an average weekend. You
reach in, whip it out. He's a one-ball.
79
00:05:53,955 --> 00:05:57,240
Now are you still up for
a filthy night of cheap, sordid sex?
80
00:05:57,275 --> 00:05:59,365
Do we have to do this right now? Yes!
81
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:05,640
If I like this sleazy guy that I just met in
a club, I don't care how many balls he's got.
82
00:06:05,675 --> 00:06:07,160
To be continued.
83
00:06:07,195 --> 00:06:08,960
Hi.
84
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,960
Gemma G's been abducted.
85
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,125
Who? Gemma G.
86
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,845
Never heard of her.
87
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,365
I'm surprised you haven't.
88
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:22,240
They have had three number ones.
Here, take a look.
89
00:06:22,275 --> 00:06:24,680
This is Gemma G.
She's with the band...
90
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,885
Candy Crew?
91
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,880
And you are? Richard Anderson.
I'm their manager. Oh.
92
00:06:32,915 --> 00:06:34,405
G for...?
93
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,280
G for gorgeous. She wanted to
be "like that H from Steps".
94
00:06:37,315 --> 00:06:39,925
You know like, H for hyperactive.
95
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,880
I always thought it was H
for homosexual? Apparently not.
96
00:06:43,915 --> 00:06:47,497
Ah, please allow me to
introduce Gemma's band mates.
97
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:51,080
This is Lucy B and Tina T.
They're police officers.
98
00:06:51,115 --> 00:06:52,965
Have you found her?
99
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,960
Not yet. We are working on it.
100
00:06:54,995 --> 00:06:57,085
Tina T.
101
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,800
T for, er...? T for teeth.
102
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,405
Oh, right.
103
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,420
B for...? B for bouncy, silly.
104
00:07:03,455 --> 00:07:06,400
As in "I'm so much crazy fun".
105
00:07:06,435 --> 00:07:08,120
Yeah, come on! Woo! Woo!
106
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,965
Woo! Lucy.
107
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,980
When was Gemma abducted?
This morning.
108
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,925
Me and Lucy came back from the gym.
109
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,365
The door was open and the
place was all messed up.
110
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,600
Some sick psycho's probably putting
his thing in her puff-ball right now.
111
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:27,685
Can you think of anyone who
might want to... harm her?
112
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:32,040
Cheryl Cole. Really? Yeah she's just a jealous
bitch, cos Gemma's got better skin than her.
113
00:07:32,075 --> 00:07:35,840
It wasn't Cheryl Cole. Can we see
Gemma's bedroom? Yes, of course.
114
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Cheryl Cole?!
115
00:07:39,135 --> 00:07:40,760
Now just wait.
116
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,560
Hmm, looks like she put up a fight.
117
00:07:51,595 --> 00:07:53,080
Hmm.
118
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,320
TOILET FLUSHES
119
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,000
Hey Naz. When did you get here?
120
00:08:00,035 --> 00:08:02,605
About half an hour ago.
121
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,245
You want to
take us through what happened?
122
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:08,000
It looks the intruder climbed up
the drainpipe, smashed the window.
123
00:08:08,035 --> 00:08:11,400
Gemma comes from the bathroom,
sees the intruder.
124
00:08:11,435 --> 00:08:12,405
"A-a-a-argh!"
125
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,045
Jesus! Jesus Christ.
126
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,925
"What're you doing in my bedroom?"
127
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,085
"I'm abducting you, bitch!"
128
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,000
The intruder grabs Gemma.
They struggle.
129
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:31,840
Gemma was overpowered by the
intruder and dragged downstairs.
130
00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:33,525
"I got plans for you girl.
131
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:37,320
"Me and you are going to get to
know each other real well..."
132
00:08:37,355 --> 00:08:40,280
"Argh! Argh!"
133
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,045
"Come on, bitch!"
134
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,445
What's with the American accent?
Don't know.
135
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:52,980
Do you need anything else?
No, I think we've got that.
136
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:57,445
Maybe you could dust for prints?
Sure, I'll go get my box.
137
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:02,480
You'd better take a look around. I'll,
er, I'll go and talk with the girls.
138
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,800
Hey, are you OK? Sorry.
139
00:09:38,835 --> 00:09:40,320
That's all right.
140
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,400
Gemma's always taken care of me.
141
00:09:45,435 --> 00:09:47,397
I'm nothing without her.
142
00:09:47,432 --> 00:09:49,325
Now, that's not true.
143
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,680
She's the only one
of us who can sing.
144
00:09:51,715 --> 00:09:54,645
Me and Lucy, we just mime.
145
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:58,200
I'm just a pair of tits on legs.
146
00:09:58,235 --> 00:10:02,285
No. T for teeth, hmm?
147
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,560
That's bullshit.
No-one's looking at my teeth.
148
00:10:05,595 --> 00:10:07,245
Hey, you've got a beautiful smile.
149
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,360
Yeah, maybe not right now,
but you know...
150
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,200
I don't know what I'll do
if something happens to her.
151
00:10:15,235 --> 00:10:17,965
Yeah.
152
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,680
I know what it's like to
lose someone you love.
153
00:10:20,715 --> 00:10:23,285
Really?
154
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,800
They're probably going to have
to cut my right testicle off.
155
00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:28,040
I'm going to be a one-ball.
156
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,720
Can you tell us who this man is?
157
00:10:31,755 --> 00:10:33,320
That's John Paul.
158
00:10:33,355 --> 00:10:35,125
He's lovely.
159
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,445
He comes to all of our concerts.
160
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:42,800
He's always sending us presents and
flowers, and baking us cookies.
161
00:10:42,835 --> 00:10:46,520
Sometimes, he hangs around
outside the house all night.
162
00:10:46,555 --> 00:10:51,680
He's a super fan.
Otherwise known as a stalker.
163
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,840
I mean, why not just have her naked?
164
00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,645
That should shift a few more units.
165
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,680
God forbid we
focus on a woman's talents.
166
00:11:04,715 --> 00:11:06,680
I think you're
looking at her talents.
167
00:11:06,715 --> 00:11:08,925
She's got a lot of talent.
168
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,725
Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it.
169
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,280
Is that right? You wouldn't have a
problem if this was your daughter?
170
00:11:13,315 --> 00:11:15,085
She's not my daughter.
She's someone's daughter.
171
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,560
Everyone woman I've ever had sex
with is someone's daughter.
172
00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:22,040
It's never stopped me
from playing Daddy. Ugh!
173
00:11:22,075 --> 00:11:24,477
I think that might
have come out wrong.
174
00:11:24,512 --> 00:11:26,845
OK, if your daughter
was a stripper...
175
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:31,085
Why is my daughter a stripper?
Ahh! So you would mind?
176
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,445
What if your son was a rapist?
How is that relevant? You started it.
177
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:40,160
I want you to acknowledge how you'd feel if your
daughter made her living by having men leering at her.
178
00:11:40,195 --> 00:11:45,680
OK. How would you feel if your rapist son attacked
my stripper daughter, threw acid in her face.
179
00:11:45,715 --> 00:11:47,960
She's disfigured for life,
can't even work.
180
00:11:47,995 --> 00:11:50,000
I wouldn't defend him.
181
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,165
Your own son?
182
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,640
Some mother you'd be!
183
00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:57,280
PHONE BEEPS
184
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,440
Who's that?
No-one. It's obviously someone.
185
00:12:20,475 --> 00:12:23,137
It's a friend.
Oh, is she good looking?
186
00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:25,765
I'm not answering that.
RINGS DOORBELL
187
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,920
Is she a bit of a hound?
It's good to have ugly friends.
188
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:30,640
It makes you look more attractive.
189
00:12:30,675 --> 00:12:32,240
It's all relative. Hmm.
190
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:35,960
Hi...
191
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,040
Are your parents in?
192
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,725
"Are your parents in?"
193
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,880
Hey, I panicked when
I saw the wheelchair.
194
00:12:47,915 --> 00:12:50,240
I didn't want to offend anyone.
195
00:12:50,275 --> 00:12:52,360
Oh, well done.
196
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:06,160
Sorry. I just...I can't believe that
anybody would want to hurt Gemma G.
197
00:13:06,195 --> 00:13:09,920
We're really sorry to bother you,
198
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,440
we think it could be a fan.
199
00:13:12,475 --> 00:13:14,177
We just thought you...
200
00:13:14,212 --> 00:13:15,845
might be a suspect.
201
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,800
We won't trouble you any further.
202
00:13:18,835 --> 00:13:20,365
Sorry. Is that it?
203
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,765
You're not going to question me?
204
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:28,600
Well, I-I-I-I think we
can rule you out. Why's that?
205
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:34,080
You're eliminating me from your enquiries
purely because I'm in a wheelchair?
206
00:13:34,115 --> 00:13:37,617
Is that against the rules?
What rules?
207
00:13:37,652 --> 00:13:41,085
What my colleague
is trying to say is...
208
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:47,525
your personal circumstances make it
unlikely you could've abducted Gemma G.
209
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:52,720
You're saying people in wheelchairs aren't
capable of committing heinous crimes?
210
00:13:52,755 --> 00:13:55,960
Er, I can't think of
any examples, can you?
211
00:13:55,995 --> 00:13:58,457
Nobody springs to mind.
212
00:13:58,492 --> 00:14:00,885
How about the Nazis?
213
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,645
Weren't a few of those, er,
you know?
214
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,760
Yeah, I'm not sure the Nazis
were big on equal opportunities.
215
00:14:06,795 --> 00:14:09,805
Perhaps we're so smart, you haven't
been able to catch any of us?
216
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:15,720
Are you saying that a significant number of unsolved
crimes are committed by people in wheelchairs?
217
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:20,760
It's a possibility. Well, maybe we should
round you all up and put you in a cage, huh?
218
00:14:20,795 --> 00:14:22,765
That isn't funny.
219
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:27,840
We're just as capable of being cruel,
greedy and violent as any able-bodied person.
220
00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:30,845
I take it you would like us
to question you?
221
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,440
I'd like you to treat me as you
would any able-bodied suspect.
222
00:14:34,475 --> 00:14:38,525
OK. OK.
223
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:43,240
Did you climb up a drainpipe, smash your
way through a window, overpower Gemma G,
224
00:14:43,275 --> 00:14:48,320
drag her downstairs, bundle her
into a car and abduct her? Hmm?
225
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:52,880
No. Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry. Sorry.
226
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,080
Well, that really moved
on the investigation.
227
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:01,720
Well, at least we didn't
offend anyone.
228
00:15:01,755 --> 00:15:04,645
So, lunch?
229
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,560
It's 10.30.
PHONE RINGS
230
00:15:07,595 --> 00:15:10,440
Is that your ugly friend?
231
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,720
Hello...
232
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,560
When was this? They've received
a ransom demand for Gemma. Yeah?
233
00:15:17,595 --> 00:15:19,200
Tell them we'll come after lunch.
234
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,085
Yeah... OK...
235
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,680
Yeah, we're on our way.
236
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,205
♪ Just come back, cos I need you
237
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:36,000
♪ Got to be strong
I know we can see this through... ♪
238
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,980
Since the disappearance of Gemma
G, internet downloads
239
00:15:41,015 --> 00:15:44,240
of the band's latest number two
hit have quadrupled.
240
00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:46,045
Can you throw in a
few of those custard ones?
241
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,000
The band, seen here leaving for
the Brit Awards earlier this year...
242
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,717
Do you like the custard ones?
243
00:15:50,752 --> 00:15:52,365
How many doughnuts do we need?
244
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:57,080
Hey, these ransom situations can go on for days.
We need a sugar rush to keep us sharp, on the edge.
245
00:15:57,115 --> 00:16:01,760
Hey, do you remember that kidnapping case we
worked when I was on the force? Little Chinese boy?
246
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:05,520
Do I remember it? Just a bit.
What was that kid called?
247
00:16:05,555 --> 00:16:08,057
Ho Fun something. That's a noodle.
248
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,560
Is it? Oh, something else then.
249
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,045
Yeah...
250
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,125
What happened?
251
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,960
Well, this kid's dad wants to pay up the
ransom, so he brings the money into the station.
252
00:16:18,995 --> 00:16:22,837
It's a while since we hear from the
kidnappers and the money's just sitting there.
253
00:16:22,872 --> 00:16:26,680
You know how it goes. People start dipping
in... lunch money, birthday collections...
254
00:16:26,715 --> 00:16:28,525
Group outings...
255
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,765
You spent the ransom money?
256
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,220
No, not all of it.
We went ten-pin bowling.
257
00:16:33,255 --> 00:16:35,605
Now, that was a night.
This boy can bowl.
258
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:40,240
Anyway, it comes time when we have to pay the
ransom, turns out we're twenty-five grand short.
259
00:16:40,275 --> 00:16:41,885
The Commissioner goes ape.
260
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:46,720
He's this little bald guy. His
whole head goes red when he's angry.
261
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:49,440
Oh, my God!
Is that why you got the sack?
262
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:51,000
Who said I got sacked?
263
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,645
Oh, sorry, I don't... erm...
264
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,205
Didn't you...?
I, no, I don't know, erm,
265
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:01,040
I thought you were asked
to leave the force, sorry.
266
00:17:01,075 --> 00:17:03,477
That was racially-motivated
constructive dismissal.
267
00:17:03,512 --> 00:17:05,845
Right. Do you want to
see the tribunal verdict?
268
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,920
Because I can show it to you.
Tribunal verdict, please, darling.
269
00:17:08,955 --> 00:17:10,405
Blonde at the bar. Tony, sorry. I...
270
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:14,080
I made a mistake, I just... Obviously
I was thinking of someone else.
271
00:17:14,115 --> 00:17:17,560
OK, you mean another lazy,
incompetent black copper, yeah?
272
00:17:17,595 --> 00:17:19,200
Yeah... What?!
273
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,720
Are you messing with me?
274
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,580
Funny, funny, funny. Hey, kids.
275
00:17:32,615 --> 00:17:35,007
Hey, Naz, fancy a custard doughnut?
276
00:17:35,042 --> 00:17:37,365
Custard? Ugh, gives me the creeps.
277
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:41,600
Right, that's everything you need to
trace the call from the kidnapper.
278
00:17:41,635 --> 00:17:45,337
Do you know how to work one of these?
279
00:17:45,372 --> 00:17:52,885
Do I know how to work one of these?
280
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:57,280
No, I thought you did. Well,
you're very lucky, because I do.
281
00:17:57,315 --> 00:18:01,520
Now you see
this is why we make a good team.
282
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:07,600
OK. See you later. Thanks, Tone.
283
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,925
Oh, the sick bastard.
284
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:27,280
It arrived not along after you left.
285
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:28,800
There's a note with it.
286
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,000
They'll call
with further instructions.
287
00:18:42,035 --> 00:18:43,645
DOORBELL
288
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,360
Looks like he used
a pair of secateurs.
289
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,680
Excuse me.
290
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,560
No comment.
291
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,920
Right. So I'm thinking I'll handle the
blah, blah with the kidnappers, right?
292
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,920
I take it you've trained in Hostage
Negotiations? All the courses?
293
00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:15,605
Courses?
I didn't know there were any.
294
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,205
Right, I think I'll be
conducting the negotiations.
295
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:23,360
Did you know, on average, women pay
25% more for their cars than men?
296
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:28,045
Fact.
We're not buying a dodgy Mondeo...
297
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,160
Fact. Yeah, but it's the same
principle, isn't it? Give and take.
298
00:19:31,195 --> 00:19:33,485
Thrust, counter thrust.
I'm doing the negotiations.
299
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,525
I don't see how that's possible,
considering we've already
300
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,240
established that I don't know how
to use the phone-tracing equipment.
301
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,880
Oh, God help her. Fine, you do it.
302
00:19:46,915 --> 00:19:48,565
Right there.
303
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,765
What? You see how easily you folded?
304
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,720
Oh, for...
There's your first mistake... Fact!
305
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,740
I'm sorry, Erin, it's great news.
306
00:20:01,775 --> 00:20:04,120
It's just the circumstance...
307
00:20:04,155 --> 00:20:06,685
Yeah, OK, bye.
308
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:10,360
Well, since Gemma's abduction, the band's
records have been flying off the shelves.
309
00:20:10,395 --> 00:20:12,845
It's like Band Aid all over again.
Beautiful.
310
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,760
Exactly how is it like Band Aid? See,
that's your trouble, you're a cynic.
311
00:20:15,795 --> 00:20:18,560
I bought ten copies of Do
They Know It's Christmas.
312
00:20:18,595 --> 00:20:21,080
How many did you buy? Eleven.
313
00:20:21,115 --> 00:20:23,520
PHONE RINGS
314
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,600
Thank you.
315
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:45,960
Hello...
316
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,960
A million pounds?
317
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,120
We'll get you the money
but we need to speak to Gemma first.
318
00:20:57,155 --> 00:20:59,277
You're not making the rules here.
319
00:20:59,312 --> 00:21:01,365
I'm afraid that's non-negotiable.
320
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:05,320
Then I'm going to cut Gemma's head
off and stick it in a box.
321
00:21:05,355 --> 00:21:06,805
OK, let's keep calm.
322
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,605
Where do you want us
to drop the money?
323
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,200
There's a phone box outside the
south gate of Fairview Common.
324
00:21:12,235 --> 00:21:15,720
I'll phone it at 9am tomorrow
morning.
325
00:21:15,755 --> 00:21:17,480
If you don't answer, Gemma dies.
326
00:21:17,515 --> 00:21:20,000
I'll be there.
327
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,280
I think I'd like your pretty partner
to deliver it to me.
328
00:21:25,315 --> 00:21:28,645
Are you sure
you want to do this at 9am?
329
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,485
I'm just, I'm worried about the
traffic... erm, you know,
330
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:36,520
the school run's a nightmare and
they just put in these speed bumps
331
00:21:36,555 --> 00:21:40,800
down there, and you know,
I don't want to be late because...
332
00:21:40,835 --> 00:21:42,800
CALLER HANGS UP
333
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,920
Is there any news on Gemma?
No comment...
334
00:21:56,955 --> 00:21:59,200
THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE
335
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:05,700
Hang on a minute.
336
00:22:05,735 --> 00:22:06,925
KNOCK ON DOOR
337
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,520
How many times
do I have to say "no comment".
338
00:22:09,555 --> 00:22:14,005
Jack, where are you going? Jack...
339
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:18,120
< Jack! I'm just checking, this whole,
er, abduction kidnapping scenario?
340
00:22:18,155 --> 00:22:21,800
It's not just a
publicity stunt, is it? No.
341
00:22:21,835 --> 00:22:23,320
You're sure about that?
342
00:22:23,355 --> 00:22:24,805
Yes.
343
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,280
Where were you at the
time of the abduction?
344
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,765
I was screwing my brother's wife.
345
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:37,480
I know. What can I say?
I'm a terrible person.
346
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,800
I'm going to be checking your
alibi with your brother. What?!
347
00:22:42,835 --> 00:22:46,600
No, no, Christ, please, please
don't do that, I'm begging you.
348
00:22:46,635 --> 00:22:48,800
I'm joking.
349
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,645
So you had nothing to do
with the abduction? No.
350
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:59,400
Look, I'm not saying Gemma being taken hasn't been
bloody great for record sales, and I mean like...
351
00:22:59,435 --> 00:23:01,925
kerching!
352
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,280
But I had nothing to do with it. OK.
353
00:23:04,315 --> 00:23:06,165
You seem like an honest guy,
354
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,320
except for the thing about
your brother's wife, obviously.
355
00:23:10,355 --> 00:23:11,840
Shame on you. Just checking.
356
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,760
Have you thought any more
about Bristol yet? Erm.
357
00:23:39,795 --> 00:23:42,400
No, I, I haven't. I will.
358
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,680
Ready? Yeah.
359
00:23:56,715 --> 00:23:58,965
All set.
360
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,085
Yeah, that's assuming you
haven't spent the ransom money?
361
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:04,400
I thought you had the money? What?
I'm joking. It's in the car.
362
00:24:04,435 --> 00:24:06,600
Hilarious.
I just need to use your toilet.
363
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,405
Er, we haven't got time.
364
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,240
We've got plenty of time. Can't
you just use the toilet in the park?
365
00:24:13,275 --> 00:24:17,200
Nobody uses the toilet in the
park... not as a toilet anyway.
366
00:24:17,235 --> 00:24:19,685
I just...
367
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,400
Do you have a problem with
people using your toilet?
368
00:24:23,435 --> 00:24:25,845
I do. I don't like it.
369
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,680
I am house trained, you know. I'm not
going to urinate all over the floor.
370
00:24:28,715 --> 00:24:31,920
I'm just not comfortable with
other people using my toilet.
371
00:24:31,955 --> 00:24:33,605
It's just...
372
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,220
Come on. So what do you do
when you have friends over?
373
00:24:36,255 --> 00:24:38,800
They use my neighbour's toilet.
He's OK with that?
374
00:24:38,835 --> 00:24:41,045
Yeah. We have an arrangement. I...
pay him.
375
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,880
What, this guy? Yep. Jack, what're you doing!?
I'm going to use his toilet. He won't be in.
376
00:24:44,915 --> 00:24:48,280
Hello? Hi. I'm a friend of Kate's.
I've got to use your toilet.
377
00:24:48,315 --> 00:24:50,005
I'm sorry. What? Who is this?
378
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,840
Andy, hi. Hello, it's Kate, sorry.
379
00:24:51,875 --> 00:24:53,605
Sorry, it's just a misunderstanding.
380
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,520
Is there something wrong with
your toilet? No, no. It's all fine.
381
00:24:55,555 --> 00:24:57,365
She won't let me use it.
382
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,360
Don't you get sick of all
her friends using yours?
383
00:24:59,395 --> 00:25:01,320
I don't know how much
she's paying you but... What?
384
00:25:01,355 --> 00:25:02,960
Jack?
385
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,885
Hey, Dan.
386
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:10,125
How are you? How're the legs?
387
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,485
Yeah, yeah, they're, erm,
they're on the mend.
388
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,645
Kate. I'm sorry. Are you letting
your friends use my toilet? No.
389
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:19,320
What's this? Apparently Kate has an arrangement
with her neighbour so her friends can use his toilet.
390
00:25:19,355 --> 00:25:22,197
There's no arrangement.
I'm sorry about your, er,
391
00:25:22,232 --> 00:25:24,796
you know. If
there's anything I can do to help.
392
00:25:24,831 --> 00:25:27,360
Have you got a spare testicle?
I wish I did.
393
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,360
I should get dressed. Good luck.
394
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:38,965
OK.
395
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,885
Can we just go now? Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I making you feel uncomfortable?
396
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:47,480
We're going. I do actually need to go to the
toilet. Do you remember how this whole thing started?
397
00:25:47,515 --> 00:25:50,280
Go on. You're not using mine.
398
00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:03,085
So...
399
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,045
I was going to tell you.
400
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,640
But instead, you choose to make up
this, quite frankly, ridiculous lie
401
00:26:08,675 --> 00:26:12,165
about paying your neighbour so that
your friends can use his toilet?
402
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:18,360
Yeah, good work. You know why I didn't tell you?
It's cos I didn't want to hear your opinion on it.
403
00:26:18,395 --> 00:26:20,017
I'm sure you've got one.
404
00:26:20,052 --> 00:26:21,640
I haven't said a word.
405
00:26:21,675 --> 00:26:24,240
Hmm, you will.
406
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:30,680
Also, I actually didn't think it was a very
good time, you know, with your operation.
407
00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:35,600
Hey, do not use my testicle to justify your
dishonesty! I wasn't using your testicle.
408
00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:39,565
Yeah, well, it certainly felt like
you were, and not in a pleasant way!
409
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:45,000
Look, we work together. It's not like we have to
share every single intimate detail of our lives.
410
00:26:45,035 --> 00:26:48,840
Oh, I see, so I'm just another colleague
to you, another face in the office.
411
00:26:48,875 --> 00:26:50,525
We've never been to the office!
412
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,880
Another number on a sheet of paper, a
meaningless squiggle on the back of an envelope.
413
00:26:53,915 --> 00:26:55,885
I don't even know what that means.
414
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,840
Yeah, well. Anyway, it's not like you tell
me everything about your personal life.
415
00:26:59,875 --> 00:27:02,880
Maybe that's because you're too
wrapped up in your own life to care.
416
00:27:02,915 --> 00:27:06,057
SHE GASPS
That is unfair.
417
00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:09,165
And it's not true. Yeah?
418
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,200
Well, did you know that
I met a girl last week?
419
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,960
No, I didn't,
because you didn't tell me.
420
00:27:15,995 --> 00:27:18,880
Well, did you ask? Do you ever ask?
421
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,405
OK.
422
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:27,600
I think it's just cos of everything
with Dan. And I'm...
423
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,960
I'm very sorry if I've
been self-obsessed.
424
00:27:31,995 --> 00:27:33,840
That's OK. Don't worry about it.
425
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,605
So this girl.
426
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,285
Who is she? How did you meet?
427
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:49,280
Well, there's this tapas bar...
near the hospital...
428
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,800
So you and Dan...
you think that's going to work out?
429
00:27:59,835 --> 00:28:01,725
Here we go.
430
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,920
Yeah, I do as a matter of fact.
431
00:28:03,955 --> 00:28:05,965
HE SNIGGERS
432
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,240
Thanks for your vote of confidence.
Hey, no, I... I'm sure you're both
433
00:28:09,275 --> 00:28:12,280
entirely different people
to who you were last week.
434
00:28:12,315 --> 00:28:13,765
You're going to get on great.
435
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:18,120
Yeah, we are. We're both committed and we've
promised we're going to be honest from now on.
436
00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:21,085
Mm-hm? Back in the real world.
437
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:25,200
What does that mean? The last thing
a woman wants to hear is the truth.
438
00:28:25,235 --> 00:28:28,040
That's why men spend their lives
sugar coating everything.
439
00:28:28,075 --> 00:28:30,845
Oh, you mean lying.
440
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:35,960
You know he's going to make you run all over
the place before you hand over the ransom money?
441
00:28:35,995 --> 00:28:38,205
Why do they always do that?
442
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,920
It's Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry.
443
00:28:40,955 --> 00:28:42,440
Oh, yeah.
444
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,525
8.55.
445
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,080
Better make a move.
446
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,485
Those, are, erm...
447
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:01,000
Those shorts are really, er... What?
448
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,560
Sporty.
449
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,600
Now, pace yourself.
Don't go flat out.
450
00:29:10,635 --> 00:29:12,197
You've got nothing to prove.
451
00:29:12,232 --> 00:29:13,725
Is everyone in position?
452
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,960
Yeah, we've got people all over
the park. They'll be watching.
453
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,605
Hey!
454
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,600
Be careful.
455
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,320
Especially in those shorts.
456
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,360
PHONE RINGS
457
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,500
Hello? Have you got the money?
458
00:30:01,535 --> 00:30:03,165
Yeah, I've got it. Where's Gemma?
459
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,640
You know how this works. I need to make sure
you lose all the people who are watching you.
460
00:30:07,675 --> 00:30:11,925
If I see anyone else
at the ransom drop, Gemma dies.
461
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,960
Be at the phone box on Lawrence
Road in five minutes. HE HANGS UP
462
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:22,680
Did you get that? Lawrence Road,
Lawrence Road, Lawrence Road.
463
00:30:22,715 --> 00:30:25,440
It's across
the Heath, dead ahead.
464
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,700
Oi, oi, darlin'! Piss off, wanker!
465
00:30:38,735 --> 00:30:41,387
Easy, tiger. He's one of ours.
466
00:30:41,422 --> 00:30:44,040
Three-seven, visual contact.
467
00:30:44,075 --> 00:30:45,160
Roger three-seven.
468
00:30:45,195 --> 00:30:47,400
PHONE RINGS
469
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,760
Hello? The phone box on Park Road.
Ten minutes.
470
00:30:58,795 --> 00:31:00,485
Park Road, dead ahead...
471
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,040
away from the car park. Got it.
472
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:24,160
There's a fork in the path.
Which way is it?
473
00:31:24,195 --> 00:31:26,285
Go right. Jack?
474
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:31,245
No hang on, sorry... Jack? Kate?
475
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:36,240
Come on... You're breaking up. What?
Kate? I can't hear you.
476
00:31:36,275 --> 00:31:38,560
Left... left... Left... Kate?!
477
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:43,800
She must have gone into the trees.
478
00:31:43,835 --> 00:31:45,445
Spread out and find her.
479
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,800
Three-four, lost visual contact.
Three-seven lost...
480
00:31:47,835 --> 00:31:49,560
Three-five... Kate?
481
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,045
Jack?
482
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:13,600
Jack, come in.
483
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:25,965
What's in the bag, lady?
484
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,445
I'm a police officer.
I'm under surveillance.
485
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,480
Do you hear that, boys?
She says she's under surveillance.
486
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,680
Unless you want to get yourselves
arrested, walk on. Give me the bag.
487
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:41,965
I can't do that.
488
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:42,800
Give me the bag, bitch.
489
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,920
PHONE RINGS
490
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,800
DIALLING TONE
491
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,405
PHONE RINGS
492
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,520
Hello? You're late. What did I say
would happen if you were late?
493
00:33:33,555 --> 00:33:35,797
I've got the money.
494
00:33:35,832 --> 00:33:38,040
You look tired, Kate.
495
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,280
Where's Gemma?
Do you see the blue van?
496
00:33:44,315 --> 00:33:46,457
She's waiting for you there.
497
00:33:46,492 --> 00:33:48,565
Leave the money by the phone.
498
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,360
I see her first,
then you get the money.
499
00:33:50,395 --> 00:33:52,240
You've got ten seconds, or she dies.
500
00:33:52,275 --> 00:33:53,805
Ten...
501
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:57,160
I see her first...nine, eight...
502
00:33:57,195 --> 00:33:58,880
Better get running, Kate.
503
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,200
Hi. I'm Gemma G. G for gorgeous.
504
00:34:08,235 --> 00:34:17,560
Hi. I'm Gemma G. G for gorgeous.
505
00:34:17,595 --> 00:34:19,080
Oh, no...
506
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:29,840
Hi. I'm Gemma G. G for gorgeous.
507
00:34:29,875 --> 00:34:32,165
Hey!
508
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:39,380
Hi. I'm Gemma G. G for gorgeous.
509
00:34:39,415 --> 00:34:46,560
Hi. I'm Gemma G. G for gorge...
510
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,445
Are you OK?
Did we activate the tracking device?
511
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:03,200
It's on an automatic setting. The
monitor's in the glove compartment.
512
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,805
He's really close. Yeah?
513
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:13,925
Oh, my God. We're right on him.
514
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,280
Must be some sort of
underground passage.
515
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,040
Well...
516
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,045
I was going to put it in the bag.
517
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:43,340
But, you know, then we got,
we got, we got into that whole weird
518
00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:46,600
thing with you not letting me use
the toilet and it slipped my mind.
519
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,620
So it's my fault? Indirectly, yes.
520
00:35:51,655 --> 00:35:54,680
OK, it was a contributing factor.
521
00:35:54,715 --> 00:35:56,445
Give me that, huh?
522
00:35:56,480 --> 00:36:01,485
I kill myself running
all over that park.
523
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,720
I was nearly mugged.
Really? Was it the shorts?
524
00:36:04,755 --> 00:36:06,685
I warned you about the shorts.
525
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:09,480
Clint Eastwood never had to
put up with this kind of shit.
526
00:36:09,515 --> 00:36:13,677
Clint Eastwood never wore shorts
like that, not with his legs.
527
00:36:13,712 --> 00:36:17,840
You can't even do a simple thing like
putting a tracking device...
528
00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:19,925
in a bag.
529
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:24,080
You know, I've got a lot on my mind.
I'm about to go under the knife.
530
00:36:24,115 --> 00:36:26,845
What?! What did you just
say to me this morning?!
531
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:31,760
What? Don't use your testicle to
justify your complete incompetence.
532
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,240
It was worth a try. Oh, God, this...
533
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:42,005
This is going to be all over
the news. You know that?
534
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:45,720
What's the Commissioner going say? Don't
worry about that. He never watches the news.
535
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,885
I can't do this any more.
536
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,400
I'm sorry,
I need a partner I can trust.
537
00:36:52,435 --> 00:36:54,520
What? Hey, you can trust me.
538
00:36:54,555 --> 00:36:56,837
I can't.
539
00:36:56,872 --> 00:36:59,085
I don't.
540
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:00,800
I never will.
541
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,880
Fine. If that's the way you feel,
you can take the bus home.
542
00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:33,760
You are such a child!
543
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:43,880
A ransom was paid, but failed to
secure the release of Gemma G. Hiya.
544
00:37:43,915 --> 00:37:48,400
Hey. The police operation is being
described as bungled and incompetent.
545
00:37:48,435 --> 00:37:49,920
How was your day?
546
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,920
Just like the man said,
bungled and incompetent.
547
00:37:56,955 --> 00:37:59,205
Oh.
548
00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:00,760
Are you OK?
549
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,160
Let's move back to Bristol.
550
00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:14,800
Really? Yeah.
551
00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:50,600
Peace offering?
552
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,540
I don't think the kidnapper had
any intention of releasing Gemma.
553
00:38:59,575 --> 00:39:03,280
OK, if this is just you covering
your arse, I'm not interested.
554
00:39:03,315 --> 00:39:05,565
Just hear me out, OK?
555
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,445
Why wouldn't he let us talk to her?
I think Gemma knew him.
556
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,085
And if she knew him, there's no
way he's releasing her alive. Mm-hm.
557
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:19,600
So yesterday evening, I go and see this manager guy,
Richard Anderson, see if he knew anyone it could be.
558
00:39:19,635 --> 00:39:23,600
Yeah? Nobody's heard from Richard
since yesterday morning...
559
00:39:23,635 --> 00:39:26,160
after the ransom was paid.
560
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,960
You worked late? Yeah. "Yeah".
561
00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:33,640
You never work late.
562
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:37,685
Look, I screwed up yesterday.
563
00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:41,820
Mm-hm. I'm sorry. We're a good team.
This friction thing works.
564
00:39:41,855 --> 00:39:45,920
It took us a while, but we got
there with the, with the rapport.
565
00:39:45,955 --> 00:39:48,720
Ba-bing, ba-bong, you know?
566
00:39:48,755 --> 00:39:50,285
Look, I trust you.
567
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:51,805
I want you to trust me.
568
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,000
I'll stop dicking around, I promise.
569
00:39:54,035 --> 00:39:56,285
Really?
570
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,680
OK, not all the time. Hmm.
Come on. Partners?
571
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:08,200
You can't beat the smell
of freshly toasted bagel.
572
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,680
Little ring of heaven.
573
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:15,600
Hmm, not bad.
574
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,180
It wasn't my idea, it was Richard.
575
00:40:20,215 --> 00:40:22,845
Do you know where he is? Tell them.
576
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:27,240
Since Gemma's been kidnapped, we've
been getting so much publicity.
577
00:40:27,275 --> 00:40:30,485
We've been selling loads and
loads of records, like, loads.
578
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:34,640
You asked Richard if it was all a publicity
stunt. You gave him the idea. Did I?
579
00:40:34,675 --> 00:40:37,720
Richard asked the kidnapper to hold
on to Gemma for another few days.
580
00:40:37,755 --> 00:40:40,925
The kidnapper promised
he wouldn't hurt her.
581
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:44,440
How did Richard contact him?
He left a message on our website.
582
00:40:44,475 --> 00:40:46,165
The kidnapper phoned up.
583
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:49,285
Richard offered him some money
if he kept hold of Gemma.
584
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:55,280
It was only supposed to be till
Sunday, until the charts came out.
585
00:40:55,315 --> 00:40:58,440
We just... we just...
586
00:40:58,475 --> 00:41:01,085
Where is it?
587
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,700
Where's what? Where's she going?
588
00:41:03,735 --> 00:41:06,280
Oh, God, she's hyperventilating!
589
00:41:06,315 --> 00:41:08,485
Is she? Breathe. Breathe.
590
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,160
Jack! She's breathing too heavily!
591
00:41:11,195 --> 00:41:13,800
Stop breathing! You're not helping.
592
00:41:13,835 --> 00:41:16,880
I'm not a doctor, am I?
593
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,120
That was intense.
We just wanted to be number one.
594
00:41:24,155 --> 00:41:27,200
What?
How could you do that to Gemma?
595
00:41:27,235 --> 00:41:28,880
I'm sorry.
596
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,120
Why did Richard take the money?
597
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,080
Don't even think of trying
to pin this one on me.
598
00:41:38,115 --> 00:41:39,845
You gave him the idea.
599
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,720
OK. So we fix the paperwork
to make it look like I didn't.
600
00:41:43,755 --> 00:41:45,400
Naz.
601
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,740
Oh, Naz! You want to take
us through this, please?
602
00:41:51,775 --> 00:41:55,160
Oh, the killer
must have fired the gun from here.
603
00:41:55,195 --> 00:41:56,680
Yeah?
604
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,400
Hang on, how come the blood
splattered so high up the wall?
605
00:42:09,435 --> 00:42:11,920
The bullet must have
come from a lower angle.
606
00:42:11,955 --> 00:42:14,600
Hmm? Yep.
OK, you be Richard. Lower.
607
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,520
Yeah? Lower...
608
00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:28,680
That's it. Oh, boy, this is a really
uncomfortable firing position.
609
00:42:28,715 --> 00:42:32,640
My thighs are on fire. This guy's
really short. Murdered by a midget?
610
00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:35,165
I think they prefer
to be called dwarfs.
611
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,440
Hmm, they're not the same.
Yeah? What's the diff?
612
00:42:37,475 --> 00:42:38,965
Dwarfs have bigger heads.
613
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,080
Bigger heads.
OK. Let's round up all the dwarfs.
614
00:42:42,115 --> 00:42:44,805
Unless... he was sitting down.
615
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,720
But there's no chair.
What if he takes his own chair...
616
00:42:48,755 --> 00:42:52,285
wherever he goes?
617
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,285
Yeah. I know it. Thanks.
618
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,160
He manages the greyhound track.
619
00:42:57,195 --> 00:42:58,965
Yeah, where's the greyhound track?
620
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,800
I'm not exactly sure.
You said you knew it!
621
00:43:01,835 --> 00:43:04,800
I've just moved here! God I...
622
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,400
I assumed that means
you know where it is.
623
00:43:09,435 --> 00:43:10,920
Just drive, for God's sakes.
624
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:30,240
Right, let's split up. Don't you
think that's asking for trouble?
625
00:43:30,275 --> 00:43:32,045
Do you want me to hold your hand?
626
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,880
Hey, you know, I'm trying
to be a good partner here.
627
00:43:34,915 --> 00:43:36,960
There's no pleasing you.
628
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,800
BANGING >
629
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:01,800
Hello.
630
00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:06,560
I'm going to cut Gemma's head off.
631
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:14,840
I'm going to cut Gemma's head
off and stick it in a box.
632
00:45:18,240 --> 00:45:20,080
< MUFFLED YELLING
633
00:45:20,115 --> 00:45:21,957
Gemma?
634
00:45:21,992 --> 00:45:23,496
< BANGING
635
00:45:23,531 --> 00:45:25,000
Gemma?
636
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,165
Jesus!
637
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:39,200
Hang on, hang on, I'll
get you out of there.
638
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:48,600
It's OK.
It's OK, I'm a police officer.
639
00:45:48,635 --> 00:45:50,560
You're safe. You're OK.
640
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:56,120
He cut my finger off!
He was going to kill me.
641
00:45:56,155 --> 00:45:57,880
He's insane.
642
00:45:57,915 --> 00:46:00,040
What?
643
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,125
It's nothing, I just thought
you'd be a bit more, you know, G.
644
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:06,780
G for gorgeous. I've been locked in
here sweating like a pig for days.
645
00:46:06,815 --> 00:46:10,400
I've been shitting in a bucket!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Too much detail.
646
00:46:10,435 --> 00:46:12,920
Come on, let's go...
Ooh, I'm so sorry.
647
00:46:12,955 --> 00:46:14,845
I'm sorry. Are you OK?
648
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,325
I didn't mean to do that...
649
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,840
He's in a wheelchair.
They're supposed to be nice.
650
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,480
It's over, John Paul.
651
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,605
Hi, Jack.
652
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:37,720
What kept you so long? Come any
closer and your girlfriend dies.
653
00:46:37,755 --> 00:46:41,725
Let her go.
Why on earth would I do that?
654
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:47,160
This whole super-fan thing... it was just
a way to get close to the band, wasn't it?
655
00:46:47,195 --> 00:46:50,285
Yeah. And it worked like a dream.
656
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:53,560
"Look at the poor little
man in the wheelchair.
657
00:46:53,595 --> 00:46:55,960
"Let's nuzzle our breasts
into his face."
658
00:46:55,995 --> 00:46:58,520
And this is how you repay them?
659
00:46:58,555 --> 00:47:00,125
I'm curious.
660
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:04,280
When you abducted Gemma, how did you
break through the window? I didn't.
661
00:47:04,315 --> 00:47:06,205
I threw a grappling hook through it.
662
00:47:06,240 --> 00:47:12,320
As I pulled it out, it knocked over some furniture,
making it appear a struggle had taken place.
663
00:47:12,355 --> 00:47:15,965
OK, how did you overpower her?
She invited me in.
664
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,885
I then drugged her with a
home made chocolate chip cookie.
665
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:22,820
How did you move her? I used a
winch to lift her up into a box,
666
00:47:22,855 --> 00:47:26,720
I sealed it up and called a courier
company and had her collected.
667
00:47:26,755 --> 00:47:28,285
Now that's impressive.
668
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:29,845
You don't know the half of it.
669
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:33,680
You have no idea
of the things I'm capable of.
670
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:40,520
Do you remember that robbery at the
safe-depository on The Broadway? Me.
671
00:47:40,555 --> 00:47:44,240
Really? The diamond merchants
on Cross Street?
672
00:47:44,275 --> 00:47:46,245
No! Me!
673
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:51,920
The robbery and execution-style slaying of
that notorious drug dealer on the Park Estate?
674
00:47:51,955 --> 00:47:54,645
You're kidding me. Me again.
675
00:47:54,680 --> 00:48:00,720
You all see the wheelchair, rather than the
sick, twisted mind of the person that's in it.
676
00:48:00,755 --> 00:48:02,445
And that's your weakness.
677
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:06,200
You're not the guy who's been exposing
himself outside the primary school, are you?
678
00:48:06,235 --> 00:48:08,080
No!
679
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:26,725
Steps, that's your weakness!
680
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,800
Actually I'd better
call an ambulance.
681
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,800
Mmm? Mmm?
682
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:40,165
♪ Sugar
683
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,440
♪ Uh-huh honey honey
684
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:47,480
♪ You are my candy girl... ♪
685
00:48:47,515 --> 00:48:49,077
Did you hear their single?
686
00:48:49,112 --> 00:48:50,640
Hmm. Now that's a crime.
687
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:58,000
My cousin dated this guy in a
wheelchair. Oh, that ended badly.
688
00:48:58,035 --> 00:49:00,645
What happened?
689
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:04,520
He was a crack dealer. They went
out driving in a little blue car,
690
00:49:04,555 --> 00:49:08,120
a rival dealer opens up
on them with an Uzi 9mm.
691
00:49:08,155 --> 00:49:10,160
Phhh... Messy, man, messy.
692
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:14,280
Right. Very funny.
693
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:19,440
What? My cousin and her disabled
boyfriend being slaughtered
694
00:49:19,475 --> 00:49:22,200
in a hail of automatic gun fire -
you think that's funny?
695
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:26,500
No, I think it's hysterical.
696
00:49:26,535 --> 00:49:29,080
Kate. What is wrong with you?
697
00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:39,320
"I'm messing."
698
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:50,000
Come on,
you're always messing with me.
699
00:49:50,035 --> 00:49:51,205
Am I?
700
00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:54,920
You know, I'm glad you're
going back to Bristol.
701
00:49:54,955 --> 00:49:56,440
Goodbye.
702
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,125
He's messing with me, right?
703
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:14,200
I do remember him saying something
about his cousin being shot.
704
00:50:14,235 --> 00:50:16,005
Oh, my God!
705
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:19,840
What did he mean
"moving back to Bristol"?
706
00:50:19,875 --> 00:50:21,717
Oh...
707
00:50:21,752 --> 00:50:24,156
yeah...
708
00:50:24,191 --> 00:50:26,525
I am.
709
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:28,125
I was about to tell you.
710
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:31,960
Erm... Dan wants to move back.
711
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,280
What happened to "partners", huh?
712
00:50:35,315 --> 00:50:37,360
I know, I'm sorry.
713
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:43,880
I have to put my marriage first. Hey,
no, you got to do what you've got to do.
714
00:50:43,915 --> 00:50:47,317
So when do you leave? Tomorrow,
erm, just to sort stuff out.
715
00:50:47,352 --> 00:50:50,720
Then I'll come back next week
to get the rest of my stuff.
716
00:50:50,755 --> 00:50:53,720
Right. So this is goodbye?
717
00:50:53,755 --> 00:50:56,000
Yeah, I suppose.
718
00:50:56,035 --> 00:50:58,400
Well..
719
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:12,360
Well, anyway, as much as I would love to stay and
bicker with you, I have got to get back and pack.
720
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,005
Oh, Jack,
721
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:26,965
it's been an experience.
722
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,880
You know, I think you enjoyed
this more than you'd let on.
723
00:51:30,915 --> 00:51:33,885
Oh, do you? Uh-huh.
724
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:38,080
Well,
you just keep telling yourself that.
725
00:51:38,115 --> 00:51:39,840
Good luck with the, er...
726
00:51:39,875 --> 00:51:41,480
"marriage".
727
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,880
Thanks.
Let me know how it goes tomorrow.
728
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,960
Hey, you want to say goodbye to him?
729
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:56,360
Would you text me?
730
00:51:56,395 --> 00:51:58,320
Yeah, right.
731
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:04,805
Has she gone?
732
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,440
Yep. You did tell her I was
messing about my cousin, yeah?
733
00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:11,760
Yeah?
734
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,160
No...
735
00:52:19,240 --> 00:52:20,760
Another drink?
736
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:33,160
Hey, we better get going.
737
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:52,440
Now, I'm just going to mark the
testicle I'm going to operate on.
738
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:56,960
It's the right one, yeah?
739
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:02,200
Is it my right or your right? What?
740
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:05,885
It's usually your right.
741
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:11,045
Now count backwards with me from ten.
Ten...
742
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:14,360
Hang on. Nine... Whose right? Is it
your right? Eight...
743
00:53:14,395 --> 00:53:17,560
Or is it your right?
..seven... Is it his right?
744
00:53:17,595 --> 00:53:20,485
Oh, God! Oh, Jesus!
745
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:25,560
Please, please don't
make me a no-ball...
746
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,125
What?
747
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,605
I was just thinking what
I was going to tell Paul.
748
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:46,560
He was like, "You're mad to get back
with her. Don't. She's a psycho!"
749
00:53:49,240 --> 00:53:52,260
I can't believe you discussed
our relationship with Paul.
750
00:53:52,295 --> 00:53:55,280
He's a man with three kids
by three different women...
751
00:53:55,315 --> 00:54:01,280
So what did you say?
I said you'd changed.
752
00:54:01,315 --> 00:54:03,437
That was the old Kate.
753
00:54:03,472 --> 00:54:05,525
I haven't exactly changed.
754
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:09,680
Yeah, I mean...
just the annoying stuff.
755
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,880
I'm still me.
Yeah, but you're different.
756
00:54:14,915 --> 00:54:17,445
Not really.
757
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:19,940
Oh, well, you're trying.
758
00:54:19,975 --> 00:54:22,400
That means a lot to me.
759
00:54:22,435 --> 00:54:24,325
Twat. What's that?
760
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:27,085
What? See? That was the old Kate.
761
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:31,040
There is no old Kate,
because there's no new Kate, OK?
762
00:54:31,075 --> 00:54:33,405
There's just me.
763
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,285
You're really starting to
disappoint me. Oh, I'm sorry.
764
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:39,160
Maybe it's cause you're being a
patronising prick. Old Kate.
765
00:54:39,195 --> 00:54:41,525
"Old Kate." There you go. Prick.
766
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,085
All right, you're
embarrassing yourself.
767
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:46,045
Why don't you just calm down and
think about what you're doing?
768
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:49,280
I'm not prepared to tolerate this
kind of behaviour from you any more.
769
00:54:49,315 --> 00:54:50,845
What're you doing?
770
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:53,600
I'm just going to get
rid of some old rubbish.
771
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:56,640
What are you doing!?
772
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:02,285
Unbelievable.
773
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:05,720
Right, come on. Thank you. Thank you
so much. You're very, very welcome.
774
00:55:05,755 --> 00:55:08,080
Can I have my crutches, please!
Yes, you can.
775
00:55:08,115 --> 00:55:09,640
Thank you.
776
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,480
I have to adjust my brace, if
you don't mind. Right, not at all.
777
00:55:13,515 --> 00:55:15,880
Thank you. Right.
778
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:22,240
You'll be begging me to
take you back. Just watch.
779
00:55:22,275 --> 00:55:23,920
You can't cope on your own.
780
00:55:23,955 --> 00:55:27,560
OW! My leg!
781
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:32,840
One down, no problem.
782
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:40,920
Hello. Hi, I'm DI Bishop,
I'm looking for Jack Armstrong.
783
00:55:40,955 --> 00:55:44,080
Ah, yeah. He's just in there.
OK. Thank you.
784
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:51,160
< MAN AND WOMAN LAUGH
785
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:56,080
Hello! Oh?
Hey, what are you doing here?
786
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,320
She's not my wife or anything.
787
00:55:59,355 --> 00:56:01,040
He's lying. I am his wife.
788
00:56:01,075 --> 00:56:03,165
Dick.
789
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,720
Hey, don't be ridiculous.
790
00:56:04,755 --> 00:56:07,045
Me and her? Come on!
791
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:12,325
Thanks for that
So, I take it you're feeling better?
792
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:16,400
They didn't have to remove it in
the end. I'm still a two-ball.
793
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:21,125
Congratulations. Massive scar.
794
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,280
It's a talking point around here.
Do you want to have a look?
795
00:56:23,315 --> 00:56:26,440
Hmm. Tempting as that is,
I'm going to pass.
796
00:56:26,475 --> 00:56:28,365
OK.
797
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:30,640
I'd have thought you'd be on
your way to Bristol by now.
798
00:56:30,675 --> 00:56:33,285
Hmm, erm,
799
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:34,925
change of plan.
800
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:38,120
Mrs Bishop? Your husband's
just about to go into surgery.
801
00:56:38,155 --> 00:56:39,640
Thanks.
802
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,400
So you're going to be out there now,
dating.
803
00:56:54,435 --> 00:56:55,960
I might give myself a day or two.
804
00:56:55,995 --> 00:56:57,965
So what're you looking for?
805
00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:59,885
Someone with a bit of cash, right?
806
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:03,365
Someone with...
a bit of personality, I think.
807
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:07,880
Right. So you're going to date
some guy who sells the Big Issue
808
00:57:07,915 --> 00:57:10,400
cos he has a great personality?
809
00:57:10,435 --> 00:57:12,525
No. Because he's skint?
810
00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:15,560
Because we'd have nothing in common.
Because he doesn't have any money.
811
00:57:15,595 --> 00:57:17,165
Money isn't important to me.
812
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:20,440
See, this is what happens
when women get over 30.
813
00:57:20,475 --> 00:57:22,045
Oh, my God, here we go again.
814
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:25,280
What? You don't even know what I was going
to say. Well, I know I'm not going to like it.
815
00:57:25,315 --> 00:57:27,680
That's your hormones talking.
You are an ignorant twat.
816
00:57:27,715 --> 00:57:29,925
How dare you!
817
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,640
How dare you! You are, I'm afraid.
818
00:57:32,675 --> 00:57:34,285
I am not ignorant. Moron.
819
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:35,840
I won the pub quiz last week...
820
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:54,200
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