Original subtitles

Oh, no, that's a really bad idea.

It's medicine.

-They're ready for you out there. -Ah, wicked.

-I've been told to tell you to read this. -Okay.

-I'm in charge of his legals. -Hey.

Behave yourself.

-You behave yourself. -Listen. You're here as a treat, okay?

I'm here because you kidnapped me from my bed.

She's joking. That's not what happened. She woke up--

I don't care.

I'm not readin' this.

This is your big break, old man. Do you want the job or not?

-Yeah, old man. -Let's go.

-I'm not that old, yeah?

Listen. Stay in the dressing room, all right?

Dressing room? You mean prison cell.

Why don't you just chain me to a radiator and be done with it?

'Cause there isn't one in here. I mean it.

-Ready? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're not even supposed to be here.

Hey!

This is an abuse of my human rights.

You're not a human.

This is the biggest crowd we've ever had, yeah?

'Cause of me, innit?

You're sure you can handle it?

Of course! I... I'm used to big crowds.

-So you know how the countdown works. -Yeah, yeah.

Lights up on zero...

No, dude. Lights out on zero, then a pause while you get yourself into position,

-then lights up. -Yeah, that's what I meant.

Fuckin' idiot.

Ten!

Nine! Eight!

Seven! Six!

Five! Four!

Three! Two! One!

Are you ready?

Yeah, check one, two. Yeah, yeah. Er, Charlie Ayo here. Erm...

Welcome to your '90s pop party. The best retro party in town.

Vintage tunes, vintage DJs, and everybody's ready for the weekend.

-Get your glowsticks out, wicked. -

♪ Do you really like it? Do you really like it? ♪

♪ We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it ♪

♪ We're lovin' it like this ♪

♪ Do you really like it? Is it, is it wicked? ♪

♪ We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it ♪

♪ We're lovin' it like that ♪

♪ Do you really like it? Do you really like it? ♪

♪ We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it ♪

♪ We're lovin' it like this ♪

♪ Do you really like it? Is it, is it wicked? ♪

♪ You could say ♪

-♪ It'll be better ♪ -Oi!

Oi! Excuse me.

When are you gonna play "LUV"? We don't care about any of this shit.

Yeah, yeah. I'll play it a bit later on, definitely, all right?

-Er, we love "LUV". -Listen, sweetheart.

Relax. I'm going to play somethin' buzzin' right now. Let's chill out, yeah? -Er, listen, Granddad. -Who you calling granddad?

We are payin' your wages, so you can play it now.

♪ Love on the underground ♪

♪ Love to the underground ♪

-Don't do that. -♪ Love to the underground ♪

♪ Love to the underground ♪

♪ Love to the underground ♪

-Whoa, whoa!

Wicked.

What part of "Stay in the dressin' room" did you not understand?

The part where I had to stay in the dressing room.

But don't worry. You can tell Mom and Dad I've been a bad girl.

Oh, wait, you can't, because I'm meant to be tucked home in bed,

instead of being in some random shanty town

on the outskirts of London.

-This is Swansea. -Whatever.

What's this?

The business card of the manager I got you a meeting with.

Manager? Meeting? When?

-Now. -Oh!

Big man!

Alpha, beta, Charlie!

Lord of the lamé!

♪ Lovin' the vibe, lovin' the vibe ♪

Daniel Smith. Probably heard my name on the circuit?

No.

-Oh. -Cut to the chase, Danny. Time is money.

You've got spunk. I like that in a woman.

All right, one word, okay? Radio.

Okay? All right, some more words.

Meeting, in London, with a producer.

Your name, in the mix,

-for the playlist. -Okay. All right.

Erm, shouldn't we be sittin' down, talkin' about music?

There's plenty of time for getting-to-know-each-other bullshit

after we've got you back on the airwaves,

and I'm not being chased by the Inland Revenue.

Look.

I'm not sayin' I can get you to the top of the top, yeah?

But I can get you to the top of the middle.

-The middle? -Mm.

-Give me a sec. -Okay, cool.

-What am I supposed to do? - Hey!

Well, you haven't got any better options.

Someone get me a taxi to London!

...and his breath stink.

There's no one... No one there.

Er, so what do you want me to do?

Really, what?

Great. Sweet. Er, okay.

Er, so, first things first. You... you find yourself a shit-hot studio, ASAP.

Okay? Then you re-work "LUV." Wing it over to me by tomorrow night,

-on the old SoundCloud. -Tomorrow?

Yes! We give this producer a taste of your magic, yeah?

Before you know it, Charlie, you're king of the C-list.

Look, it was good enough for Chumbawamba, wasn't it?

-Who? -Mm-hm.

Let's go.

-See ya, hot dog! -Wicked.

Aah!

Oh, you're here!

What is that?

This, my dear, is a surprise.

Babe...

Will you spend a dirty weekend here with me?

Uh...

I'd love to, but I wanna get back for Gabs.

Come on, she'll be fine.

Aw...

-'Scuse me. Can you get us a car, please? -No, no, no, no.

No, don't. Don't, don't. It's fine.

Listen, I've got us the best suite in the house,

-and I've made us a sexy playlist.

Who's ready to un-stiffen some upper lips, huh?

Not now.

I've cleared it with Charlie, if you're worried.

Yeah, and...

I'm worried about Gabrielle. Have you cleared it with her? I am sure that Gabrielle would want her parents

to actually recognize each other if they pass in the street.

Babe, we have spent no time together alone since we moved here.

I've missed you, my love.

"Upload the thing to the SoundCloud thing."

I mean, whatever happened to just USBs?

Were you born in the Jurassic era?

Hello?

You know we have fire now, and wheels, and tin cans,

and Kardashians?

You need to grow a pair and remix "LUV" so it sounds about 3,000 times more current than you look.

Whatever.

This is Camden's finest.

-Well, that's the problem, sweetheart.

Right, it's your mum.

Listen. Oi! You're sleeping.

Remember, sleeping.

-This is degrading. -Shh.

-Hey, Sara, what's happenin'?

-How was the gig?

Where are you?

Uh, I'm, er... in your house, er...

hoovering... hoovering your, er... your carpet.

Hold on one second. I'll just turn that off.

Knock it off.

Hey, shoot.

Erm... Is Gabs okay?

Mm-hm. Yes. She's fine. She's, er... very much asleep.

Er, dead asleep.

Gabs is in bed before one?

-Something's wrong, I'm coming home. -No, no, no. No.

No, no. You can't come home.

Why?

Er... Because, erm...

Gabrielle wanted David to take you away for the weekend, you see?

-She said that? -Yeah. And, erm...

She said, look, you know, she can't be happy

unless...

her parents are in a fulfilling and functional

relationship separate to her.

That does sound like her.

-Yeah. -Thanks, Charlie.

I gotta go.

Whoa.

-Where'd you learn all that nonsense? -Huh.

Bitch, please. Therapy was my first word.

What did I tell you about calling me a bitch?

Mm. Mm.

Er... Are we in London?

Newport.

Brush your teeth.

Brush your teeth.

Right, well...

I think we'll leave the bedtime stories for tonight, yeah?

Wait, you can't be thinking of going to bed, right?

Oh, come on, Gabs.

What new hell have you got planned for me now?

Relax, I'm not gonna torture you.

-Thank you. -But you'll torture yourself forever

if you don't have a new version of "LUV" for tomorrow's meeting.

-Oh. -There's coffee in the studio.

And the substances that I'm not supposed to know about. Have fun.

Mm-hm.

Where are the substances?

Oh, top left drawer.

Good night.

I'm sorry, that's the...

opposite of what I thought would happen when I planned a dirty weekend.

It's fine.

We're both...

stressed with the move and busy with work.

I don't think it's stress. I...

I think it's England.

You're blaming your lack of hard-on on the weather?

It has a dampening effect.

All over.

Well, this seems productive.

Uh?

-What is this? -An açaí and goji berry smoothie.

It's good for your brain cells. So...

Delicious. Thank you.

-Why is he here? -I needed my drum machine.

Listen to this loop.

-Dell.

Ooh, vibes! You see that, brother?

-Hear that swing? MPC. - Ooh!

They don't make 'em like this anymore.

-See, that's why I needed him here.

How... What?

You don't have to record your own loops, knuckleheads.

-Yeah, but I'm old-school-- -What do you think you're doin'?

-You can't be in here. -Ehh... We wasn't in here, really.

Was about to go for a walk. Right, Dell? So, let's go.

-But, I don't really like walking-- - Sit down.

Both of you.

Firstly, there's no such word as can't. Only people who are afraid of progress.

And secondly, I think I can be in here

'cause I'm the daughter of the woman who owns this place and who pays your wages,

and who'd be very upset if I told her that you'd upset me.

I'm going to amuse myself upstairs. without interruption,

while you two finish what you started.

Tommi here's gonna show you the ropes.

Aren't you, Tommi?

One day, I will kill you in your sleep.

You wouldn't risk the haunting.

-Have fun. -Bye.

See you, Gabs.

So, this was the session.

Erm, basically... Uh...

Hold on. Let me just turn on my drum machine again.

What is this? How old is this thing, man? Om...

You are serene...

calm...

-What are you doing? -...in the moment.

Nothing. I'm just turning off my phone.

...and into Mountain pose.

Were you recording our couples meditation class?

...and down into Tree.

I just thought that Om thing would make a good loop, that's all.

Arms up.

You want me to stop obsessing about my work.

But you can't commit to ten minutes of quiet

without secretly recording everyone for your sticky-floored club.

You wanna lecture me on commitment?

In case you'd forgotten, you were unfaithful too.

And other side...

Okay, number one, -that's not what I was talking about. -Up again.

Breathe in.

I was talking about being committed to being a better parent to Gabrielle

which is what this move was about.

Second, I only did what I did

because you did it first.

You wanna compare diaries on that?

She did do it first.

- All right, Gabs? -Hunter!

You didn't tell me you owned an ice-cream business.

It's my uncle's. He lets me use it every so often as cover.

Cover for what?

My real business.

We're going to give the good people of Hampstead Village their fixes.

You think anyone around here lets Magnums anywhere near them?

They're all about the giggle-gas, baby.

Come on, we've got a lot to do.

♪ Love to the under the ground To the vibe ♪

♪ Love to the under the ground ♪

-Okay. -♪ To the vibe, to the vibe... ♪

Okay, I'm gonna boost that with an EQ.

I want your vocal to sound more crunchy.

I'll add some distortion

and a nice delay to your vox.

All right, you want me to delay it?

I want you... No, I don't want you to delay it. I'll add a delay. I'll add a ping-pong delay.

-You're gonna... ping-pong it? -Just do it again, please.

For God's sake. You don't know what a ping-pong delay is?

-Nope. -Look, just give it to me again.

♪ Love to the under the ground To the vibe ♪

-♪ Love to the underground ♪

-♪ To the vibe ♪ -Yeah, and again. Stack that layer.

-What? -Just stack that layer.

-Stack it? -Yeah, and watch your... watch your pitch.

-Sta-- When you say stack it-- -Stack that layer.

-Wh-- What layer? -Do it again.

-Do it again? -Stack the layer.

-But why-- -Stack it.

-What do you mean? -Just stack the layer!

I don't know what you're saying, Tommi. Stack what layer?

Listen, let me tell you somethin'.

I am a DJ and a rude boy. Yeah? -You know what? I'm a disc jockey. -Yeah.

Okay? That's right. Yes.

Let me tell you somethin'. Just 'cause I don't know how to...

stack your layers in your Ableton

wit' your-- wit' your computer t'ing, yeah, all right,

it doesn't mean I don't know how to rock...

rock a dancefloor, and DJ, and just kill 'em!

Yeah, make them feel something.

-That's what I do. -Mm-hm.

So you're saying you don't require my help anymore.

You know what? I never got your help in the first--

Listen, brother. You sure about this?

You gotta get this to the Welshman before the lady comes back an' that.

Dell, all I'm sayin' is...

All I'm sayin' is, I just need to do it the way I know how to do it,

and that is analog.

-Yeah.

Yeah, cool.

That's good, 'cause my ears were startin' to bleed.

-Listen... -You.

-You're takin' me home. -Huh?

-Come on. - Listen.

You haven't gotta take no buzz-cuts nowhere, do you understand?

Listen, my brother. That man is very scary.

♪ Ever since I was a kid ♪

♪ All I ever wanted to do was be a DJ ♪

...ninety-nine, a hundred...

Busiest day ever.

-Keep it going, Gabs, come on.

-Hunter, it's Charlie. I gotta go. -Let's go.

-Gabby. How about a break? -Cheers, son.

Didn't you read the sign on my door?

No, I haven't read the sign. I've been in the studio like you told me to be.

What's that noise?

I'm just hoovering my carpet.

-Uh... -Anyway, it doesn't matter what I'm doing.

All that matters is you not letting down us and everyone around you.

-Yeah, but I'm trying to-- -I've gotta go.

You feeling abandoned by your nearest and dearest too?

Uh... Abandoned, irrelevant, old...

That's a great album title.

Hm.

You wanna spliff in the sauna?

Drugs and heat make me horny, but...

if you're willing to take the risk.

Yeah. Yeah.

After you.

This way.

Wanna murder your parents and cash in on this shit?

Sure.

I'd see them as much dead as I do alive.

Wait for my signal. I've gotta check if Charlie's still in the studio.

Yeah, all right.

Okay.

Let's get some snacks.

Whoa. Can you smell that, Gabs?

I think your butler's havin' a hot box.

Yo, Jeeves!

Doesn't the lady of the house have first dibs?

Wait, were you two smoking in there?

Wait, were you not upstairs in your bedroom?

Who... Uh...

Pact of silence?

Pact of silence.

All right.

God, how baked are you?

Your shorts are inside out, weirdo.

You two were fucking.

Hey! Watch your...

Gabs!

Oh.

Hello?

Please tell me you're avail for a girl talk.

Am I ever?

I...

think I made a big mistake moving everyone here.

I mean, David is stressed, and Gabrielle's unhappy,

and apparently I'm not German enough for the European music scene.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Melodrama alert.

Look, transatlantic moves, husband problems, kid stuff--

These are all classic girl problems.

Are they?

No, they're probably not, actually.

Hey, listen. London is...

It's working out to not be as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

And also, I have had a phone call from Ibiza,

and a little club called Amnesia

would like you for a six-week residency in three months' time,

which I think you can admit is pretty fuckin' cool.

Are you serious?

I swear on my mom's life.

Bitch, your mom's been dead for ten years.

Yes, she has.

Uh...

I gotta go.I think Dave is having a nervous breakdown.

If I could find a plant that said

I'm a hundred percent behind being a better parent to Gabrielle,

and commit to our new life here, that I'd have got you that.

But that's all I could find.

So call it an olive branch.

-Oh. Sorry, sorry.

It's fine, David. Answer it.

No, my agent can leave a message like normal people do

for other normal people.

You were never normal

You have to understand, when you're like me in those days, right,

-having stabilizers, imagine-- -Enough drivel!

Let's hear the final product.

Listen, I've only been back at work for 20 minutes, so come back. All right?

Plus the entire day you had to yourself, waster.

You're very disapproving, you know that?

Just be glad that I didn't give you my drugs talk.

-Ooh! -Now, hop to it!

Right, here it is.

Wait, is that it?

I know.

-I know!

And that's Danny calling, look. And he wants it, look. See?

Come on, let's just face it, Gabs. No one wants to hear this tune anymore.

Not ever, not on the radio, not no new version of it.

Let's just face it. I'm a vintage, I'm a relic.

I'm like an old-school legend that's never gonna come back.

What's that?

I reposted your "LUV" video on Instagram,

Look at what my followers commented.

"This tune is the shit."

"Oh, my God, this song is my life."

Wow, that's great. Look.

"Best track ever."

"That's my happy song."

"This takes me back to the good times."

See?

People love your music.

They always will.

You just lost your faith.

Those who do not have faith in their hearts will receive God's wrath.

Oh, Aunt Lydia is Scottish, all of a sudden.

- Hello!

Gabs! Charlie!

Just gonna add this little bit to the buildup.

"To the underground!"

I'm just adding this sharp snare on top of the old one.

- Yeah. Yeah! - Unh!

-Just doublin' up this kick.

Yeah.

-Whoa! Listen to that. -Uh, okay.

-Oh! -Oh, yeah!

- It sounds really good, dude! -Whoa, whoa, whoa!

-Pipe down. Whoa! -Hey.

Hey!

-Hi! -Hey!

-Hello.

Hey, Sara, I should have asked.

-Really, should have. -No, no, no. no. It's fine.

Don't worry, he hasn't touched any of your cool stuff.

-He couldn't work that shit if he tried. -Ha-ha-ha.

-Is that an MPC? - Yeah.

I haven't seen one of those things in ages.

-Yeah, I'm a bit of a dinosaur, I just-- -Yeah, you are.

...go with what I know.

Some of the best music in history has been made on that thing.

-Very true. -Go ahead. Play it to me. Let me hear it.

Uh... It's really not ready.

It's not even like...

-Come on. -No, it's cool, I wanna hear it.

I don't care if it's rough.

Yeah? Uh...

Pfft... Yeah. Yeah, but I mean...

♪ Love on the underground ♪

♪ It's all there ♪

♪ Spread love ♪

♪ In love ♪

♪ Spread love ♪

♪ Today ♪

♪ In love ♪

-♪ LUV ♪ -♪ Spread love ♪

♪ Today ♪

We just need like a foam party and a fat line of somethin'.

No, David.

-What? Oh, sorry.

I'm going to get this.

It's good, right, Mom?

-I like it. - Yeah.

-I'll... I'll be there. -Yeah?

I think it could be better.

If you want, we can work on it for a couple hours next week in the studio.

You're jokin'.

I mean, if you want to.

Uh...

Yes.

-Cool, cool. Yeah. -Yeah, I would love that, man.

-That's cool.

What about you? Do you wanna come to my gig tonight?

Special treat for being so good this weekend.

Sounds great, Mom, but...

as you said, we still got a lot of work to do here.

-If you don't mind. -No, no, it's cool, it's cool.

Go for it.

-My little helper. - Yeah!

Hey, Sara. Thank you, so much, yeah?

Yeah, of course.

Pyoooosh!

What! Now I don't have to worry about Danny.

-Don't worry, he'll be dead soon anyway. -Yeah, he'll be dead-- No.

Don't do that. Don't say that.

Uh-huh.

David, this is a massive opportunity. -A three-picture deal! -Yeah.

A $200 million budget for each movie.

You can't pass this up, buddy.

-Forget London! -Uh-huh.