All language subtitles for The Millers - 2x08 - Papa Was a Rolling Bone-eng

Ooh, your roof is great.

Are you up here all the time?

Well, not at night
because it's against the rules,

so... we should probably go.

Nobody's gonna get in trouble.

Don't be so paranoid.

Oh, God, I don't know. I just
feel like everybody can see us

up here. Maybe we ought
to go downstairs, right?

Oh, my God.

Look at you. You're a prude.

That's why you wouldn't make out
with me in the cab.

Well, uh, we couldn't.

If you remember,
the middle seat belt was broken.

Can you believe she called me a prude?

She's got a point. I mean, the
craziest place you ever had sex

was in your own house.

Yeah, but it was in the guest room.

I'm not a guest there. That's crazy.

The craziest place I ever had
sex was in the hospital.

The doctor wanted to make sure
it still worked after the...

tractor accident.

Debbie. Debbie,
what's going on around here?

We're only a few days
away from Thanksgiving,

and your mailbox is still
dressed like a ghost.

Yeah,

and there's no cornucopia
on the front door.

And why hasn't the big table been
brought up from the basement?

Where are you going to display
your holiday gourds?

Carol,

there are no gourds.

Good Lord,

not one gourd.

Um, actually, Mom, Adam and I decided

that it might be nice this year
to forgo the Miller tradition

of food and fighting and get back

to the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

Yeah. We want to show Mikayla
how we used to celebrate

on the commune.

By pressing hard on your eyelids

and watching all the flashing dots?

That's Fourth of July.

No, we're gonna go to an Indian reservation

and exchange tokens of friendship.

But Thanksgiving is the one time of year...

besides Easter, Memorial Day,

the period between Christmas
and New Year's, all summer,

and every family member's birth week...

that I ask us all to be together.

You know what, if Debbie
doesn't have to be there,

- then I shouldn't either.
- Excuse me?

I'm sorry, but I don't have
to play by the rules anymore.

If I am going to attract
a nontraditional kind of woman,

then I need to start acting
like that kind of man.

Okay? So maybe...

I should have
a nontraditional Thanksgiving.

You're lucky there are no gourds around

because I would shove one
in your mouth right now.

It's not an empty threat.

She gourded me last year.

Can I come to your house?

Yeah. Yeah, you know what,
you and Ray can both come.

And maybe I'll invite Kate over, too.

Maybe I'll take her up
to the roof and show her

and my neighbors how not uptight
the new Nathan is.

So you're all gonna abandon me?

Like I'm Detroit?

You know what, Carol, forget them.

We'll have our own Thanksgiving,

just the two of us. We were
the life of this party anyway.

Watch, watch, pretend we're
not here for a second.

Watch this.

You see?

Without us, they're all
standing around like, "Huh?"

You're welcome to have it here.

That way you can set up
everything the way you like.

Ah. What do you say, Carol?

You, me, and a bird? Ménage à turkey?

Sure. Why not?

America lost the war on Christmas.

Might as well surrender Thanksgiving, too.

This year the Millers
can celebrate on their own,

like a bunch of Californians.

The Millers - 02x08 Papa Was a Rolling Bone

sync and correction by solfieri -
www.addic7ed.com

Isn't this great?

No family drama, no stress.

Just two thankful people giving thanks

and two quarts of heaven

in a casserole dish.

Aw, that is so sweet of you to try.

Too sweet, actually. We don't
traditionally do marshmallows

in vegetables, but it's no problem.

I can fix it real easy.

But don't feel bad about it.
I can make a new batch

before you say, "Thank you, Carol."

I bet you can.

Sorry about the yams.

I just thought maybe

we could do one dish my way.

But, uh...

maybe I "yam" being a little sensitive.

Well, I appreciate the apology.

But I just want this to be as close

to my normal Thanksgiving as possible.

Something you already made difficult

by inviting your favorite sushi waitress.

I only asked her because
you said it was going to feel empty

with just the two of us.

Do you even know her name?

No.

But it doesn't matter
because she answers to anything.

Hi, Penelope.

Hello, Kip!

Having a good time, Joanie?

Oh, yes. Thanks for having me, Kip.

My pleasure, Paula.

Oh, what-what are you doing?

Just fixing your deviled eggs.

You forgot to put the olives on there.

You're making them look like eyeballs.

Who wants their food staring at them?

That's the traditional way of making them.

The eyes of turkeys past.

- Mmm.
- I'm sorry, but it

just wouldn't be Thanksgiving
without the olives.

Oh. Sure, yeah.

I-I'm allergic.

- What?
- Yeah,

I'm allergic to olives.

It's genetic.

From my mom.

Yeah, I got her deadly olive allergy

and her weakness for state troopers.

Allergic? Really?

- Mm-hmm.
- I've never heard

of anyone being allergic to olives.

- Isn't that the great thing about life?
- Mm?

We just never stop learning.

Yeah. So it's okay. I'll fix it.

Because we don't want me
to die, now, do we, Jacklyn?

No, Kip!

Are you sure this is the Indian reservation

your commune used to visit?

Excuse me. Uh,

I used to come here every Thanksgiving

as a child back when this used
to be an Indian reservation.

Oh, it's still a reservation.

But a few years ago
we decided to build a casino.

We thought, "If you can't beat 'em...

Wait, we can beat 'em."

Well,

as I was saying, my family
and I would like to offer you

these gifts of used clothes,
canned goods, and $35 in change.

Oh, that's really nice.

But as you can see,

we're good.

What you got there?

Uh, it's my old bean bag from
my frosh year back in college.

Frosh year?

Freshman. Sorry. Just trying
to loosen up the way I talk.

Yeah. Hoping that old beanie

might help Kate see me
from a new perspect'.

When was the last time you said,

"Hey, look at that stressed-out
dude in the bean bag"?

Speaking of beans, I'm starving.

Please tell me you bought some food.

Sorry, Ray.

The only dish
I'm serving up is non-tradish.

You are not Matthew McConaughey.

You will never be Matthew McConaughey.

So stop talking like Matthew McConaughey!

All right, all right, all right.

Tom, I'm praying like a Pilgrim
that you brought some food.

Sorry. When it comes to family gatherings,

I'm not usually expected to do more

than step out of the room when I pass gas.

Excuse me, will you?

That's her. Okay.

Come in! Or don't come in!

Whatevs!

- Uh, Nathan. Hey.
- Hey.

What's up? You made it.

You know Ray.

Hi.

You know, I'm surprised

you called.

You seem like the kind of guy

who would be having
a traditional Thanksgiving

with his family.

Oh, is it Thanksgiving?

That's why my drum circle was canceled.

Listen, I'm sorry about the other night.

I think I ate something
that made me a little bit,

you know, uptight.

What do you say we go up to the roof later

and become a member
of the 50-feet-high club?

Wow. Okay.

Be careful lighting the stove in there.

Tom?

Kate!

Oh, my gosh! So good to see you!

You, uh... you know my father?

Yeah. Oh, in fact, I still have
your umbrella in my car.

- I'll be right back.
- Oh.

Okay.

That's weird.
How do you two know each other?

We used to date.

I never thought
I'd say this, but, hey, bro,

look at the stressed out guy
in the bean bag.

What do you mean you dated Kate?

I met her while
I was chatting up the ladies

at the senior center.

She must have been visiting someone.

Oh, God, this cannot be happening.

Relax. We just had a
couple of fun evenings.

It was fun, but after a while
I didn't call her anymore.

She only liked the movies
with the subtitles.

If I want to read, I'll
stay home and play Boggle.

Look, Dad, just tell me when...

when you went out with Kate,

did you two ever m...

Did-did you two ever m...

No, I can't do it.

It's like Fonzie trying to say sorry.

Nate, let me handle this.

Thomas, when you and Kate were dating,

did you perchance touch her boobies?

A gentleman never tells.

- Okay. Here you go.
- Oh.

- Thanks. And I'm sorry I never called.
- Oh,

it's fine. If we had kept hanging out,

- I never would have met this guy.
- Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

If we'd never met, none of this
would be happening right now.

Can you imagine?

I've been trying to give this change away,

but I guess no one trusts
the white man anymore.

Old wounds heal slow.

That's the name of the first
woman I tried to give it to.

Okay. Just give me the money, all right?

If you want the Native Americans
to have it,

there's one surefire way to do it.

I'd like to put this all on red.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... I don't think
that's such a good idea, honey.

Oh, come on, you and I both
know we have the worst luck

in the world. I mean, you spent three days

in a coma after a lucky horseshoe fell

and hit you on the head.

I almost choked to death
on a rabbit's foot.

There's no way we're gonna...

- Red wins.
- We won?

Oh! Oh, my God, I can't believe it.

Debbie, no, this is terrible.

Now we're actually taking money
away from them. Let me just...

No, wait, wait, wait. Maybe
our luck has finally changed.

W-What are you doing?

The double streets along with a quad bet

and one straight up on 17.

What? My sorority
did a lot of casino nights.

Well, technically, I did
a lot of nights at the casino

with my sorority's money.
Do not make me your treasurer.

Okay, all right,

luck be a tiny,
red-headed lady tonight. Yeah.

- How do you like my stuffing?
- Mmm,

delicious. I must have the recipe.

I'm happy to tell you the recipe.

Bread crumbs, chicken stock, celery,

and finely minced olives.

You put olives in the stuffing?

I put olives in everything!

Everything!

I knew you weren't allergic.
I was a teacher.

I heard homework excuses for over 30 years.

I know a liar when I see one.

And clearly you're just fine,
so I was right.

You don't know how allergies work.

It takes a second
to get into the bloodstream.

Yeah, it starts in the stomach and it...

works its way up through the throat and...

before you know it...

- Oh, my God.
- Kip?

Promise me you won't vote
for Blake Shelton's team.

Oh, my God. What have I done?

Bye, Kip.

Don't worry, I always

carry an EpiPen in case
Nathan develops allergies.

I don't know where this goes,

so I'm just gonna start stabbing.

No!

Stop. God.

All right, fine.

I'm not allergic to olives.

I knew it.

I cannot believe that
my supposed best friend

and roommate would lie to me like this.

It is so disrespectful!

Disrespectful?

Disre... How can... Me?

Oh, my God. Disrespectful?

I'll tell you what's disrespectful.

When someone
works their cute little butt off

to give you a great holiday
and all you do is complain

and throw their yams in the trash.

I was doing us a favor.

You were basically serving us a tray

full of melted circus peanuts.

Oh. Oh, okay, all right.

Well, since you like dumping food

and this is your Thanksgiving...

How do you like this, huh?
You like that? Look at that.

- Oh, maybe you'll like this. There go the yams.
- Aah!

All right, well, if you liked
that, you'll love this.

Damn you, six months of magician's academy.

If you were mad at me all day,

why the hell didn't you just say something?

Because I didn't want to have a big fight.

How's that going for you?

Bad!

Are you ready for some football?

There's no food in here.

Look at her,

she's totally fine dating a father and son.

Too bad Grandpa's not here.
She could hit the trifecta.

Maybe you should stick to dating

- uptight girls.
- No, look,

I don't want to date those
types of women anymore.

I want to date someone wild,

and that's never gonna happen
if everybody thinks I'm a prude.

I want people to think I'm a freak.

So if Kate's okay with this,

I need to find a way to
be okay with it, too.

Hmm. Hey, Nate, listen.

Whenever something's
bothering me, I pluck a hair

and the pain takes my mind off it.

As you can see, I've had
some stressful years.

Shouldn't we be going to the roof?

Uh,

yeah, I don't know. It's kind of cold out

tonight, don't you think? Aah! Yes.

Let's do it.

Oh. Oh! Oh, I won again.

Oh, my God. Oh.

Wesley Snipes was wrong... you
don't always bet on black.

Also, you do have to pay your taxes.

All right, sweetie, have you lost yet?

Because Mikayla wants to go...

Is that all yours?

Yeah, okay, honey, don't
be mad, but I'm up $1,000.

$1,000? I'd have to lose
4,000 teeth to get that.

Yeah, I know, I know.

I'm sorry. I can't stop winning
and it feels so good.

But if you still want to give the money
back... Whoa, whoa, give it back?

Are you crazy? No, listen,
it's one thing being generous

when you're poor, because you
have, like, nothing to give.

But this is real money, Debbie.

We're thousandaires.

Yeah, I know. And why stop there?

I mean, if we keep this streak
going, you could buy a boat.

I could buy the kind of boobs
that belong on a boat.

Okay, wait, wait, wait. Debbie,
we can't win forever, okay?

If history has taught us anything,

it's that our luck will run out.

So what if we just walk away,

for the first time in our
lives, as winners, right?

We just take our winnings
off the table and go home.

You're right. Okay.

A-All bets are final.

The ball's working.

The ball is working.

That's what the nurse said
after my tractor accident.

Oh, look, it's already dark.

We're not supposed to be up here.

Look at me, breaking rules.

Wish I had something to litter.

- I had some other activities in mind.
- Oh.

Did you just pull a hair out?

- Uh, well...
- Oh,

I see someone likes a little
pain with their pleasure.

Well... No, no, no, I don't.

- Yeah? Yeah?
- Oh, ow!

- You like that?
- Ow. No, no, no, stop, stop.

No, I don't like pain. Ow, gosh.

No, I was just...

I was pulling my hair out so I
wouldn't have to think about

you hooking up with my
dad, but... it's okay,

- I-I can do this. Let... I-I'll get over it.
- Wait,

wait... I never hooked up with your dad.

It was volunteer work.

A lot of the seniors at
the center would invite me out

to dinner or a movie. Your dad
looked lonely, so I said yes.

Oh, my God.

My dad thought it was a date.

Ew.

- Oh, I know.
- Oh.

Oh, my God, I know, it's... What a relief.

I mean, just thinking about
how far you guys got... I mean...

Did he fondle your breasts?

Did you fondle his breasts?

Anyway, where were we?

Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

So you-you brought me up here

and you were actually
considering having sex with me

when you thought I'd been with your dad?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess I was.

Pretty... Pretty wild, huh?

It's pretty weird.

It's really weird.

God, I'm sorry, Nate, but
that's too out there,

even for me.

You're kind of a freak.

Yeah, guess I am a freak.

If you know any girls who are
looking for a wild time,

let 'em know there's a new bad boy in town

and he doesn't play by the rules.

We're trying to
have Thanksgiving dinner down here.

I don't care. I'm a bad boy.

And if you've got a problem
with it, I'm Kip Finkle in 1-A.

Sorry for throwing
all your food on the floor.

Even though the way I did it

was dazzling.

And I'm sorry for risking
your life to prove a point.

I swore I wouldn't do that again

after I held Tom over that bridge.

So you're just holding all that
stuff in to avoid a fight?

We've just never fought before,
and it's been so great.

I just thought I'd bite my tongue,

swallow my emotions,
and sit on my feelings,

and we'd keep it up.

Sounds like a lot of work.

Fights are easier.
You get it out and it's done.

I guess you're right.

It's just... We never
did that in my family.

You're part of this family now.

So we're gonna fight some.

Especially on the holidays.

You might even win some.

Not with me, but...

maybe Debbie.

Well, our footloose and

fancy-free Thanksgiving was a bust.

Please tell me there's some food left.

Oh, we've got some.

It's all in here, though.

How long's it been in there?

Well, hope you guys are hungry.

We got a Thanksgiving feast

courtesy of the casino.

They gave us vouchers to the
casino's Thanksgiving buffet

because Mom and Dad lost so much money.

Guess it's back to collecting
kids' teeth at school.

Let's grab some chairs.

Oh, look at all this food.
It's a Thanksgiving miracle.

Are you gonna tell your dad
the truth about Kate?

Nah.

It's like when I was cut
from my junior high soccer team.

My Dad protected my feelings by telling me

it was 'cause I was too fast.

It wasn't because
you were too fast, was it?

No, my mom told me the truth.

I was too good-looking.

Who stole my spoon? I need a spoon

to get the marshmallows out of my yams.

Dad, it's under your napkin.

Why don't you open your eyes
once before you open your mouth?

Hey, you watch yourself.

You plan on leaving some
for the rest of us?

I'm still growing.
I've been up for 18 hours.

Can I just have a darn green bean? Okay,

just say "please" next time. You're gonna have
to have more than green beans, young lady.

- I'll give you all the green beans you want.
- You're gonna have to have

Yeah, well,
why don't you send it to your plate...

- Put a napkin around it, Kip.
- Where is the gravy?

You like this, don't you?

I love it.

I gave that turkey leg...

- Okay, all right.
- Come on.

What's so hard about that? There's
two of these and one of those.

sync and correction by solfieri -
www.addic7ed.com