Original subtitles

Oh, uh, right there. Let's watch "Breakin'."

Uh... "Breakin'"?

Mm-hmm.

- No "G"? - Nope.

Not for me, playboy.

I've been out of the "n" -apostrophe game

ever since I got burned on "Trippin'."

This movie has a white girl with a leotard?

Let me guess...

She finds strength to save break dancing?

No!

She actually saves the Radiotron.

"Push it to pop it! Rock it to lock it!

Break it to make..."

Yo, what is this?

Shut up and sit down!

All of you are heathens!

And don't you dare talk about "Breakin'"!

It is a classic.

And it features the dance stylings

of Jean-Claude Van Damme.

- Huh. - Bow, help me out, babe, please.

They're talking about "Breakin'."

Well, I haven't seen it.

What did you just say?

I haven't seen it.

- That's what I thought you just said. - Yeah.

It's "Breakin'," Bow.

"Breakin'"!

The precursor to "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo"?!

I haven't. I'm sorry.

You don't have to be sorry about this, Mom.

Shut up!

- She does need to be sorry. - Unbelievable.

I swear to God,

it's gonna be me and you, man...

soon.

I feel it.

I do, too.

I do, too.

Okay, okay, okay, okay!

Hey, enough, guys, what's the big deal?

You know I didn't have movies on the commune.

- That totally makes sense. - Oh, yeah. - That's right.

- No, it's not. Nothing makes sense. - Yes, it does.

Nothing you ever say about your childhood makes sense.

You grew up in a cult.

It's amazing I ever met you.

Well, we actually wouldn't have ever met

if the elders hadn't gotten arrested.

Hold up. Wait. What?

Well, they didn't get arrested.

They got, um, detained...

for... three to five years.

- What? - What?

You know what? The documentary explains it a lot better.

Mnh.

Just came out on Netflix. You can see it.

How did you ever survive your childhood?

Although my husband had bad taste in movies,

flattering jean cuts, and steak temperatures...

and although I'd never admit this out loud...

his question was fair.

My childhood was anything but normal.

But as not "normal" as it was,

I wouldn't take it back for anything.

Because it made me the woman I am today.

In the summer of 1985,

I was 12 years old, and my life changed forever.

I, Ronald Reagan, do solemnly swear...

You see, while the rest of the world

was inaugurating Reagan into his second term

and worrying about AIDS, famine, and the crack epidemic,

I was living with my family on a commune.

The problems of the outside world

seemed to be, like, a million miles away

from our hippie, judgment-free utopia

where love ruled all.

We ate together...

prayed together...

and even slept together.

There was no racism, no sexism,

and everyone was truly equal.

If you would've asked me at the time,

I would've told you it was perfect.

But the government would've told you

we were a radicalized cult

in violation of over 47 ATF regulations.

If I'm not supposed to have three wives...

In the summer of 1985, I was 12 years old,

and my life changed forever.

- synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com

In what seemed like overnight,

my peaceful little world had been taken away.

My parents said we were moving to a new community,

but from what I could see,

there was nothing communal about it.

All I remember seeing was rotund people

hidden behind curtains,

locked away in their own little brown boxes.

I didn't know what anyone else's house looked like,

but I remember walking into my grandpap's rental house

for the first time

and feeling like I was on a whole other planet.

And I wasn't the only one.

I think my little brother, Johan, who looked at everything

like one, great, big, magical adventure

- Come on! - slept next to the toilet

for the first three months we lived there.

Whoa. Where does it all go?

Bet you it's a portal to another dimension.

Welp, guess that's settled.

Never using that thing.

I think my little sister, Santamonica,

was around 5 at the time, but even then,

she complained like a woman with no kids

on her third divorce...

which, interestingly enough, she would eventually become.

Relax, Santi. It's safe.

Then you use it.

I'm going back to diapers.

My gut tells me we're gonna die here.

Calm down. Nobody's dying anywhere.

Oh, so now you know

when and where we're all gonna die?

Come on, kids!

This move was stressing us out.

- We were hoping our parents had some answers. - All right.

So, uh, kids, no biggie, but your mother and I,

we just wanted to have a little informal rap session.

If it's so informal,

then why do you have the talking stick?

Very good question.

But, uh, unfortunately, I can't answer it,

because you did not have the talking stick

when you asked.

Dad was the coolest guy I knew.

He met Mom at Berkeley law, but he dropped out

as a protest against the glass ceiling of classism.

Okay, I'm gonna jump in here.

Guys, I know this place might seem different,

but it's gonna be great.

- You'll see. - Your mother is correct,

even though she's not setting the best example for stick law.

Mom actually graduated law school, because, hippie or not,

black people still needed a backup plan...

especially when you fell in love

with a free spirit like my dad.

So, when are we going back home?

S... You know...

Why... thank you, Paul.

Sweetie, we've actually been doing some thinking, and...

this is our new home.

- For now. - What?!

Whoa. Sorry.

For now.

Guys, we'd love to be able to go back home,

but everything we've ever loved has burned.

We can rebuild!

I can't use the bathroom here!

Whoa-hoh! Guys, guys, come on!

What kind of people interrupt?

- Fascists. - Fascists.

Exactly.

Now, I know things might seem scary,

but we're gonna be fine.

And just because we're in a new home,

we're not gonna let that change who we are.

And we're definitely not gonna let this idiot box

contaminate us with the worst of America...

CBS.

And...

we'll keep all the best parts of our old home...

love, sharing, pescetarianism.

- I do like shrimp. - See?

If we stay true to who we are,

we'll never even notice we left.

Love circle!

Growing up on the commune, my parents' hippie values

and their optimism were contagious.

But in the real world, no one cares

about any of those things.

And when we got to school,

we got introduced to the real world real quick.

What's going on?!

I don't know. Just try to keep up.

I'm too little to die!

Back home, the real world was hitting my parents, as well.

Hey, hippies!

Harrison Jackson III was my grandfather,

but he was also one of the main reasons

my dad moved to the commune.

He was an ambulance-chasing multi-millionaire owner

of a personal-injury law firm.

He might've voted for Reagan,

but he loved his brown grandkids.

Also, we were living in his fully furnished rental house.

Brought the kids lacrosse sticks.

Wow. Did you also bring yacht-club applications?

Look, I don't make the rules, but yacht clubs are for people

who came here on the top of a ship.

I missed this.

I'm trying to say "Welcome home," you two.

I knew that hippie thing was just a 15-year phase.

Oh, we get it.

You think our time on the commune was silly.

Oh, no, I don't think it was silly.

I think it was stupid.

Very, very stupid.

Mm-hmm.

Help me understand.

Is it fun to be poor?

Like, when people tell you how much something costs

and you don't have the money,

is it a rush?

You know, we chose to live off the grid.

And now you chose to live rent-free

in my fully furnished rental.

What a rush that must be.

Tell you what.

Why don't you come work at my firm?

Alicia doesn't need to take a job at your sty.

No, she's gonna look for a firm

where she can try meaningful cases.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

And I'm gonna use that greenhouse

- to grow food we can sell. - Mm.

Great plan.

That's exactly how Rockefeller started.

Ooh! I need to get back to the sty.

So, I guess I'm gonna go jump in my real-world Ferrari

and go make some more real-world money

to pay for this real-world house

that your entire family's survival is dependent upon.

It was a hard day for all of us.

And that is why I hate guns.

Mm.

But the hardest part about that day

was the first time we were asked a question

that would follow us for the rest of our lives.

What are you weirdos mixed with?

What's "mixed"?

- You guys think you had a bad day?! - Since leaving the commune,

my world had been turned upside-down.

But after my first day of school,

I felt like that upside-down world got lit on fire.

What is "mixed"?

We need to know!

Is it what kills me?!

My parents had sent us out into the world

with absolutely no warning that being mixed was even a thing,

let alone how hard it would be to fit in.

Everyone was laughing at us!

I know the idea of not understanding

what it meant to be mixed sounds crazy,

but you have to understand, growing up on the commune,

race wasn't a thing.

And also, at the time, there weren't many of us.

Today's mixed kids can look up to rappers, ballerinas,

athletes, a president, and a princess.

The only heroes we had were DeBarge.

And do you have any idea

how many more mixed babies there are today?

Probably because interracial marriage was illegal

until the Loving Act of 1967.

So, since my parents were one of the first mixed marriages,

me, Johan, and Santamonica

were basically the beta testers for biraciality.

As if it wasn't hard enough being a 12-year-old kid

going to school for the first time,

imagine being the new kid

when no one in the world is like you.

Not even your parents.

So, after Mom and Dad finally explained to us

that having a white dad and a black mom

wasn't necessarily the norm, it was shocking.

So, wait.

You're saying being mixed makes us weirdos?

Looks that way.

Definitely feels that way.

No, no, no, you don't need to worry about

what those kids think.

- They're idiots. - That's right.

You weren't weirdos on the commune,

and you're not weirdos here.

You need to stop lying to these children.

Aunt Dee-Dee!

Aunt Dee-Dee was our favorite aunt.

She had the personality of a TSA worker

before they realized what their personalities were gonna be.

Don't worry, babies.

Auntie Denise is here to fix all your problems

with new clothes, hot combs,

and hair grease!

Please tell me you're kidding.

No, you please tell me

you didn't send these babies to school looking like this.

You know this is child abuse.

What's wrong with how we look?

Sweetie, you know Auntie Dee-Dee loves you very much,

but you look like a runaway house slave.

No! Don't fill my babies' heads with that nonsense.

Them being black is nonsense?

They're black and white. Don't try to make them choose sides.

America already chose.

Especially this little one.

She has edges.

You can try to get away with

that "We Are the World," "Kumbaya" foolishness

back at your little Jonestown commune,

but the real world is gonna smack them in the face.

It probably already did.

The world smacked you in the face today, didn't it?

You can tell me.

It did.

- It really did. - Mm.

- Okay. Say goodbye to Aunt Denise. - Ah. Great idea.

- But, Mom, she just got here! - She just got here! - What? I just got here!

Uh-huh. Go on.

Bye, kids.

See you.

Hey. Hey.

What did I do?

Look, we know you don't like interracial marriages.

You made that very clear when you tried to hook my wife up

during your wedding toast.

Okay, I was wrong for that. That was Dee-Dee's bad.

All I'm saying is

you guys are on a different level of whiteness.

And don't you think that maybe we're above race?

Hmm?

See?

That couldn't be a whiter thing to say.

Hey, I'm just trying to help.

I'll leave this stuff here for the kids

in case you change your mind.

I can't believe these people charge for manure!

Is this a bad time?

A little bit, yeah.

Can I get a couple minutes, please?

Of course.

Hmm?

You're not gonna give me a couple minutes, are you?

Did we make a mistake

by never talking to the kids about race?

Baby.

You're the one who said we need to teach them how to love

and that would overcome anything,

so that's what we did.

That was when we were in a bubble on the commune.

This is the real world.

Look at this greenhouse.

I'm gonna make sure it's set up

to give these plants everything they need.

Just like our house and our kids.

We'll give them everything they need

to take on that world outside without changing who we are.

Okay?

Okay.

Commune or not, our values are what got us here.

So, if the kids can survive scabies

and a little bit of famine...

...they can survive the suburbs.

Yes. You're right.

I love you.

Our world was spinning.

Mom and Dad didn't have any clear answers,

and Aunt Dee-Dee freaked us out even more.

I had no idea what to think.

But Johan and Santamonica sure did.

You heard Aunt Denise. We need to pick a side.

And soon.

What are you guys talking about?

We're not picking sides.

You heard Dad. Those kids are idiots.

You're right. They are idiots.

And I want to be one of them.

I wanna be an idiot so bad!

Well... there's the idiot box...

Guys, stop.

You don't have to do this just to fit in.

I have a...

Che Guevara book and a jump rope.

I will loan you either.

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- ♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪ - My dad may have called it the "idiot box,"

- ♪ Come and knock on our door ♪ - but to my siblings, it felt like

- ♪ ...diff'rent strokes ♪ - they were eating fruit from the Tree of Knowledge.

- ♪ The facts of life ♪ - Idiot fruit.

While my siblings were rotting their minds

trying to find a new way of life,

my father was planting seeds, trying to preserve our old one.

And my mom was somewhere in between.

I did some soul-searching, and the universe guided me here.

Well, that and... the light bill.

But I looked at other firms, and I know this is going to be

the best place for me to do the meaningful work...

What are you wearing?!

Excuse me?

Do you think those clothes are appropriate for this office?

It's clear you don't think so.

I wouldn't go into your sweat lodge

and put on deodorant.

So I expect the same respect here.

It's... It's terrifying

that you're the sensible one.

Look, Alicia,

Paul is like a son to me.

He is your son.

And I love him like one. But he doesn't get it.

Now, you... you have the legal chops

to become the son I never had.

Even though you went to that commie law school.

Berkeley is a top school.

For commies.

Bottom line...

if you want to be able to take care of your family,

you're gonna have to make some changes.

Ooh!

- You feel that? - Mnh.

This is why I don't do cocaine.

I am cocaine.

I do cocaine.

Back at the commune,

meals were a time of harmony and fellowship.

I felt like myself.

I knew who I was and where I belonged.

But I was a long way from the commune,

and I just couldn't bring myself

to go in there and pretend to be someone I wasn't.

He-e-y!

Hey, hey, hey!

What's happenin'?

What's wrong with you guys?! You chose races?

Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Rainbow?

I'm talking about what you're wearing.

You watched TV for one night, and you're dressed like someone else?

What?! You're crazy.

This is who I am.

I'm a B-boy.

Yeah!

And we are living in a material world,

and I am a material girl.

And just like that,

Johan and Santamonica had cracked the code.

And I knew my problems could be over, too,

if I had just picked a side,

but... I couldn't.

Seriously, what's wrong with you two?

Race isn't just a costume you put on and take off!

Okay, but just because you don't...

Whoa! Hey! What's going on?

Why are you guys doing the Meany screamies?

Because they're changing who they are to try to fit in.

- Why you dissin' me? - Wait. So, hold on.

These outfits aren't for, like, a play or something?

No. They watched the idiot box,

and now this is who they think they are.

Yeah. Don't we look cool?

No. You don't look cool.

We're not a family who changes to fit in.

That's conformity.

And who conforms?

- Capitalists. - Capitalists.

- Exactly. - Hey, guys.

- Mommy! - Hi, baby.

Mom... are you wearing a bra?

Mm-hmm.

I think she looks fresh.

Thank you.

Mommy decided to take a job with Grandpa.

Wait. What?

Am I the only one not trying to be someone else?

How can you say this family's all about keeping our values

when everyone else is tossing them away?

- Bow... - Go...

Go. Go with your sister.

That's a great example you're setting, honey.

Well, one of us had to get a job.

What are you so mad about?

Because it's like you completely gave up

on our old way of life.

Because this place forces people

to be something that they're not.

It's happening to our kids. It's even happening to you.

Look, we need to support our family, Paul.

If we're gonna have any chance of surviving this,

we're gonna have to adapt.

We had a plan.

For you to grow us food?

I can't wait six months to eat.

So... maybe that wasn't the... best plan.

But we promised we wouldn't let this place change us.

Thinking of you going to that office in that pantsuit,

it's like my biggest fears come to life.

My wife is becoming my dad.

Look, you don't have to change

because you can be how you are anywhere in the world.

I can only be the way that I was on the commune.

Anywhere else, I'm a black woman.

It's different for me, and it's different for our kids.

What are you doing, sweetheart?

I'm leaving.

Come on, Dad. Come with me.

I heard there's a commune near Waco.

I think I'm holding you back.

What are you talking about?

Well, I've been holding on to a world

the way I want it to be instead of the way it is.

That's why I've been...

putting so much pressure on everyone not to change,

but the truth is,

is that everything has to adapt to its environment.

Even me.

So, then, why didn't you tell me how hard it was going to be?

I should've.

I mean, if I'm being honest, I knew what this place was like.

You know how many friends your mother and I lost after we got married?

That's why we left.

But I guess we just didn't want to burden you with our anger.

Do you know how hard this is?

I feel like if I choose being white,

I'm giving up on Mom,

and if I choose being black, I'm giving up on you.

What you're going through is so much harder

than anything your mother and I had to deal with.

No one's forcing us to ignore a part of ourselves.

And your father and I would never think

that you were giving up on us.

Ever.

But I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

I can't tell you.

All I can say is what not to do.

See, I've been hoping that things were just gonna work out,

but that's not gonna happen.

We have to plan to adapt the best we can.

I know you're going through a lot,

but you have always been my strong, fearless warrior,

so I know you'll get through this.

You'll find a way.

We all will.

Dad, when's dinner?

Good food takes time.

Anyone can grill meat.

But to cook a medium-rare mushroom...

that's talent.

Okay, babies, go wash your hands.

I can help with that!

- Guns? - Oh, relax, hippie.

Water guns are every child's second amendment right.

In the summer of 1985,

I was 12 years old,

and my life changed forever.

I love the second amendment!

Ooh!

Anybody get my hair wet, and we fightin'.

And although I couldn't know it at the time,

it would be the best thing that ever happened to me.

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