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1
00:00:04,328 --> 00:00:06,162
Can I have $20?
2
00:00:06,163 --> 00:00:10,709
I'm not gonna just give you $20.
You have to work to earn money.
3
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:12,627
I've been hanging with you all day.
4
00:00:15,256 --> 00:00:16,381
Hey, I thought you were at the movies.
5
00:00:16,382 --> 00:00:19,650
Oh, I was, and then Teddy texted,
6
00:00:19,675 --> 00:00:23,096
"Mom, emergency, need deodorant ASAP."
7
00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:27,350
That's not good. Deodorant's
like a parachute...
8
00:00:27,351 --> 00:00:29,811
If you suddenly realize you
need it, it's probably too late.
9
00:00:30,953 --> 00:00:32,772
Where's my sweaty boy?
10
00:00:32,773 --> 00:00:34,775
He's up in his room.
11
00:00:37,327 --> 00:00:38,920
You're not gonna warn her?
12
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,463
Where's the fun in that?
13
00:00:44,022 --> 00:00:46,077
Girl!
14
00:00:46,548 --> 00:00:50,206
I just caught Teddy in
his room with a girl.
15
00:00:50,563 --> 00:00:53,209
And get this, she's
a year older than him.
16
00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:56,212
Kid's punching above his weight.
17
00:00:56,213 --> 00:00:57,589
You knew about this?
18
00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,750
Yeah, well, they're just
doing homework. It's innocent.
19
00:01:00,997 --> 00:01:04,334
There are blankets in there, Adam.
20
00:01:04,388 --> 00:01:06,973
Do you know what blankets hide?
21
00:01:06,974 --> 00:01:10,640
Of course I do. If I hadn't
kept a blanket in my truck,
22
00:01:10,665 --> 00:01:12,296
we would've gotten arrested
every time we parked
23
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,905
- for more than five minutes.
- Ugh.
24
00:01:16,296 --> 00:01:17,858
Okay, two things:
25
00:01:17,883 --> 00:01:20,301
one, I'm in the room and
you're grossing me out.
26
00:01:20,302 --> 00:01:21,844
Okay, two,
27
00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:24,325
you're really grossing me out.
I just wanted to say that again.
28
00:01:26,975 --> 00:01:28,351
Hold on, what're you doing?
29
00:01:28,352 --> 00:01:30,144
I'm getting those blankets out of there.
30
00:01:30,145 --> 00:01:32,730
I'm saving my baby before
he gets tangled in her web.
31
00:01:33,332 --> 00:01:35,191
Would you leave them alone?
32
00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:39,653
Teddy is barely a teenager, Adam,
33
00:01:39,654 --> 00:01:43,282
and he has a girl in his room.
34
00:01:43,774 --> 00:01:47,111
That's a good point. I should
go tell him I'm proud of him.
35
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,332
Okay, your mother and I had a talk...
36
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:53,251
You mean, she talked, you listened.
37
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:56,712
I've seen it.
38
00:02:00,384 --> 00:02:02,301
Actually, this time I talked.
39
00:02:02,302 --> 00:02:04,384
I explained how all of this is normal,
40
00:02:04,409 --> 00:02:08,140
and she promised not
to yell "girl" anymore.
41
00:02:08,141 --> 00:02:10,255
In exchange, you'll have to
share a milkshake with her
42
00:02:10,279 --> 00:02:11,489
every so often.
43
00:02:12,396 --> 00:02:15,356
One glass, two straws.
44
00:02:15,357 --> 00:02:18,567
But if you're gonna have girls
over, which... congratulations...
45
00:02:19,944 --> 00:02:21,278
there are rules.
46
00:02:21,303 --> 00:02:24,156
Okay, first, no girls in
your room with the door closed
47
00:02:24,157 --> 00:02:25,574
and-and no sitting on the bed.
48
00:02:25,575 --> 00:02:29,371
Now, couches are okay
with a two-cushion buffer.
49
00:02:33,542 --> 00:02:35,501
Look, but don't touch, hmm?
50
00:02:35,502 --> 00:02:38,129
Same rules as the ceiling fan.
51
00:02:38,130 --> 00:02:40,618
There's no touching, we're just friends.
52
00:02:40,643 --> 00:02:41,462
Hmm.
53
00:02:41,487 --> 00:02:43,634
But I wish she was my girlfriend.
54
00:02:44,759 --> 00:02:47,388
Teddy, wh-when you say you
want her to be your girlfriend,
55
00:02:47,389 --> 00:02:48,806
what does that mean to you?
56
00:02:48,807 --> 00:02:51,308
Well, I'd like her to
sit with me at lunch.
57
00:02:51,309 --> 00:02:52,841
Aw.
58
00:02:52,866 --> 00:02:54,366
Save me a seat in Spanish class.
59
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:55,803
- Mm-hmm.
- That's nice.
60
00:02:55,828 --> 00:02:58,225
And next week at Jeremy's
roller-skating party,
61
00:02:58,250 --> 00:02:59,234
I'd like to go all the way...
62
00:02:59,259 --> 00:03:00,801
What?!
63
00:03:00,944 --> 00:03:02,445
Around the rink with her.
64
00:03:02,446 --> 00:03:03,898
You know,
65
00:03:03,923 --> 00:03:05,173
hold her hand during couples' skate.
66
00:03:05,197 --> 00:03:06,907
Oh, o-okay, okay. Yeah, okay.
67
00:03:06,908 --> 00:03:07,829
Yeah.
68
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,716
I just don't know how to get
her from friend to girlfriend.
69
00:03:10,787 --> 00:03:14,081
Oh.
70
00:03:14,082 --> 00:03:18,002
Teddy, my boy, you were
born to the right father.
71
00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:19,587
This is like Bruce Lee's son
72
00:03:19,588 --> 00:03:21,756
saying he wants to learn kung fu.
73
00:03:23,133 --> 00:03:26,886
Or he could just learn it on his own.
74
00:03:32,434 --> 00:03:33,642
- Andi.
- Yeah.
75
00:03:33,643 --> 00:03:36,145
I've been waiting 14
years for this moment.
76
00:03:36,146 --> 00:03:38,439
I didn't go through all that
time from when he was born
77
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:39,982
to now for nothing.
78
00:03:40,814 --> 00:03:42,943
Teddy, the lessons
79
00:03:42,944 --> 00:03:44,623
will begin tomorrow.
80
00:03:45,197 --> 00:03:47,032
Thanks, Dad.
81
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,004
- Aw.
- Lessons?
82
00:03:51,029 --> 00:03:53,496
The kid's got natural talent,
83
00:03:53,497 --> 00:03:56,207
like his father before him.
84
00:03:56,232 --> 00:03:59,084
Okay? I am a well-known wooer.
85
00:03:59,085 --> 00:04:01,587
Teddy is a Burns man,
86
00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:04,632
and he has finally found his thing.
87
00:04:05,642 --> 00:04:08,345
His "thing" is what I'm worried about.
88
00:04:18,454 --> 00:04:22,483
Now listen, getting out of
the "friend zone" is tricky.
89
00:04:22,484 --> 00:04:26,237
I've heard. It's never
actually happened to me.
90
00:04:26,238 --> 00:04:27,891
Hey, what's up, fellas?
91
00:04:27,916 --> 00:04:30,571
Dad's teaching me about girls.
92
00:04:30,596 --> 00:04:32,972
Without us?
93
00:04:32,997 --> 00:04:35,790
Yes, intentionally without you.
94
00:04:36,122 --> 00:04:38,620
I'm helping him turn a
friend into a girlfriend.
95
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,687
It is not easy to do.
96
00:04:40,712 --> 00:04:43,966
Take it from a guy who's been
a maid of honor three times.
97
00:04:46,127 --> 00:04:48,112
Don't listen to them, listen to me.
98
00:04:48,137 --> 00:04:50,305
And that's just a good rule in general.
99
00:04:50,804 --> 00:04:54,264
Now, any romance is a
complicated operation;
100
00:04:54,289 --> 00:04:56,905
it requires strategic planning.
101
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,015
And what happens when we
don't have a plan, Teddy?
102
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,793
We get lost, argue with Mom, and
then eventually look at a map.
103
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,351
Orlando is a poorly designed city.
104
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,991
The point is, we need a plan.
105
00:05:12,016 --> 00:05:14,608
No, he doesn't need a plan.
106
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,186
I mean, if you must get involved,
107
00:05:16,211 --> 00:05:18,337
at least don't teach him nonsense.
108
00:05:19,835 --> 00:05:22,585
What are you doing in here?
109
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,921
I'm dusting,
110
00:05:24,946 --> 00:05:27,239
like I do.
111
00:05:27,264 --> 00:05:28,641
No, you don't.
112
00:05:29,209 --> 00:05:30,616
That's not even a real duster.
113
00:05:30,641 --> 00:05:32,851
It came with your sexy
maid Halloween costume.
114
00:05:36,255 --> 00:05:39,350
Well, I'm here now, and
I have something to say.
115
00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:41,209
Move.
116
00:05:41,317 --> 00:05:43,277
Teddy...
117
00:05:45,488 --> 00:05:48,495
Teddy, relationships can't be planned.
118
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:51,355
They-they blossom
naturally through chemistry.
119
00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:53,847
It-It's magic,
120
00:05:53,872 --> 00:05:57,120
and magic can't be faked.
121
00:05:57,145 --> 00:06:00,543
Literally all of magic is fake.
122
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,174
Don't you say that.
123
00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:06,086
Look, I agree with Adam.
124
00:06:06,111 --> 00:06:07,811
Sometimes being yourself isn't enough.
125
00:06:07,836 --> 00:06:10,718
Oh, everyone be quiet,
the divorced guy's talking.
126
00:06:12,632 --> 00:06:15,092
Look, I've never had a plan,
127
00:06:15,117 --> 00:06:17,952
and I've had a lot of dates
end with a friendly handshake.
128
00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:19,603
I've walked into a lot of weddings
129
00:06:19,628 --> 00:06:21,546
on the arm of the best man.
130
00:06:22,753 --> 00:06:24,854
We get it, you agree with me.
131
00:06:24,879 --> 00:06:26,339
Go dust something.
132
00:06:28,693 --> 00:06:32,432
I'm just saying that there are
moments that can't be faked.
133
00:06:32,457 --> 00:06:34,526
Like, when we were first dating,
134
00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:36,081
a waitress came to
our table and she said,
135
00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:40,066
"You two are the cutest couple.
You're perfect for each other,"
136
00:06:40,322 --> 00:06:42,074
and that's when I knew it was right.
137
00:06:42,806 --> 00:06:44,724
It was magic. Admit it.
138
00:06:44,749 --> 00:06:45,996
Oh, yeah, yeah.
139
00:06:46,082 --> 00:06:48,511
- That was a truck blanket night.
- Yeah.
140
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,768
So, Teddy, if you want
this girl to like you,
141
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:56,636
just let the magic happen.
142
00:06:56,661 --> 00:07:00,289
Or don't do that, and
get yourself a girlfriend.
143
00:07:01,893 --> 00:07:03,145
Your choice.
144
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,145
Sorry, Mom, I'm going with Dad.
145
00:07:07,808 --> 00:07:10,455
He's no dummy.
146
00:07:11,293 --> 00:07:15,338
You want to learn to cook?
You come to Chef Boyardee.
147
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,886
Are you Chef Boyardee or Bruce Lee?
148
00:07:18,911 --> 00:07:21,261
I'm dinner and a movie.
149
00:07:22,872 --> 00:07:24,871
I do it all, baby.
150
00:07:26,232 --> 00:07:29,082
All right, now you just need
to shift the conversation
151
00:07:29,107 --> 00:07:32,025
from friend stuff to asking
her to the skate party.
152
00:07:32,066 --> 00:07:33,775
Here, we-we'll do a demonstration.
153
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,551
Don, you be Madison.
154
00:07:35,576 --> 00:07:37,035
That makes sense.
155
00:07:37,716 --> 00:07:39,787
Hey, Madison, how's it going?
156
00:07:39,812 --> 00:07:41,229
Cool, cool.
157
00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:44,240
Now you're grooving,
so you hit her with,
158
00:07:44,265 --> 00:07:46,233
"Hey, are you going to
Jeremy's skate party?"
159
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,342
I was thinking about it.
160
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:50,369
Yeah? Me, too. Hey,
161
00:07:50,394 --> 00:07:53,354
I just thought of something:
we should go together.
162
00:07:53,952 --> 00:07:56,304
Sorry, I don't date
guys shorter than me.
163
00:07:56,823 --> 00:07:59,854
I knew you'd ruin it.
I just didn't know when.
164
00:08:01,168 --> 00:08:05,046
Look, Teddy, next, we need
to manufacture some magic.
165
00:08:05,071 --> 00:08:06,846
Okay? Set up a situation
166
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,712
where it looks like fate
caused you to run into her.
167
00:08:09,737 --> 00:08:10,904
Girls love that.
168
00:08:10,905 --> 00:08:13,031
Can you get your hands
on an ice cream truck?
169
00:08:13,032 --> 00:08:14,866
The music will do the work for you.
170
00:08:16,136 --> 00:08:17,619
I got it, I got it.
171
00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,329
You casually bump into her
172
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:21,775
while she's waiting for
her parents at pickup.
173
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,434
Madison rides her bike to school.
174
00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,585
Hmm, okay, uh... Oh.
175
00:08:25,586 --> 00:08:27,337
How about this?
176
00:08:27,338 --> 00:08:30,757
You slip out during lunch and
you pop a hole in her tire.
177
00:08:30,758 --> 00:08:33,468
Then you can patch it for her
like I taught you last week.
178
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:36,027
I remember you showing me,
but I stopped paying attention
179
00:08:36,052 --> 00:08:39,307
because I realized if I ever
needed it, you could do it.
180
00:08:39,911 --> 00:08:41,768
Fine, just let the air out of her tire,
181
00:08:41,769 --> 00:08:43,478
then offer to push her bike home.
182
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:46,064
During the walk, you
ask her to the party.
183
00:08:46,065 --> 00:08:48,024
- That's great.
- Yeah.
184
00:08:48,025 --> 00:08:49,363
Wait, what if she says no?
185
00:08:49,388 --> 00:08:53,071
Ah, always remember two
words, "Just kidding."
186
00:08:53,072 --> 00:08:55,699
They get you out of any
embarrassing situation.
187
00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:57,867
Except when you try to
steal a monkey from the zoo.
188
00:08:57,868 --> 00:08:59,495
They count those things every night.
189
00:09:05,376 --> 00:09:07,126
I'm telling you.
190
00:09:08,165 --> 00:09:09,280
What's all this?
191
00:09:09,305 --> 00:09:10,505
Oh, it's a celebration.
192
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:12,818
Yeah, Teddy's asking Madison out today,
193
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,843
so I invited the guys over
to share in my victory...
194
00:09:15,844 --> 00:09:18,022
Teddy-Teddy's victory.
195
00:09:18,264 --> 00:09:20,665
We come from a long line of ladies' men.
196
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:23,584
First me, then Donny, and now Teddy.
197
00:09:24,962 --> 00:09:26,964
Well said, Pop.
198
00:09:27,873 --> 00:09:30,942
There he is. How'd it go, champ?
199
00:09:31,294 --> 00:09:32,520
Madison said no.
200
00:09:32,545 --> 00:09:35,503
What happened? Did
you push her bike home?
201
00:09:35,528 --> 00:09:37,949
It was hot. Did you forget deodorant?
202
00:09:37,950 --> 00:09:39,738
No, it just didn't work.
203
00:09:39,763 --> 00:09:41,730
That's because it was all a setup.
204
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:45,998
You can't manufacture
magic. Women can always tell.
205
00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:48,584
No, snacks are for closers.
206
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:51,996
Don't worry, Teddy,
we'll figure this out.
207
00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:54,847
Actually, if you want
to get closer to a woman,
208
00:09:54,872 --> 00:09:56,537
you should probably talk to a woman.
209
00:09:56,882 --> 00:09:59,202
Where am I gonna get one of
those? That's my whole problem.
210
00:09:59,848 --> 00:10:02,098
Me, Teddy. I'm a woman.
211
00:10:02,099 --> 00:10:04,385
I can, I can help you if you want.
212
00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:06,019
Really? That's awesome. Thanks, Mom.
213
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,479
- Yeah.
- Hold on.
214
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,326
What about me?
215
00:10:10,351 --> 00:10:11,770
You're out. I need results.
216
00:10:14,894 --> 00:10:18,239
I don't get this. I gave
him solid gold material.
217
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:19,782
That's the point.
218
00:10:19,783 --> 00:10:23,497
You gave him material,
right? It wasn't real.
219
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:26,439
You-you call yourself
this great wooer...
220
00:10:26,464 --> 00:10:27,714
But you whiffed.
221
00:10:27,739 --> 00:10:29,167
You're a whiffer.
222
00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:31,236
He needs a woman
223
00:10:31,261 --> 00:10:32,502
to help him with this, Adam.
224
00:10:32,527 --> 00:10:33,870
I know what women want.
225
00:10:33,895 --> 00:10:36,339
Okay, if I don't know what
women want, how did I get you?
226
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:38,212
That was magic.
227
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:39,927
You didn't do anything.
228
00:10:40,441 --> 00:10:41,839
Oh, really?
229
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,601
You know,
230
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:46,673
it's interesting you would say
that, because you know that story
231
00:10:46,698 --> 00:10:48,064
about the waitress you love so much?
232
00:10:48,088 --> 00:10:49,833
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah? Yeah.
233
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,823
I paid her ten dollars to
say we were a perfect couple.
234
00:10:53,463 --> 00:10:55,110
Manufactured magic.
235
00:10:55,135 --> 00:10:56,631
And it worked. Ha!
236
00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:03,547
So, the precious moment that I remember
237
00:11:03,572 --> 00:11:06,765
as the universe giving me a
sign that we were meant to be...
238
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,209
was a trick?
239
00:11:08,499 --> 00:11:10,541
Come on. It's funny.
240
00:11:10,542 --> 00:11:13,823
It's the old "you married a
different guy than you thought" gag.
241
00:11:18,827 --> 00:11:21,116
Hey. Uh,
242
00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:22,234
remember the thing I said
243
00:11:22,259 --> 00:11:24,302
about giving that waitress ten dollars?
244
00:11:24,948 --> 00:11:26,783
Just kidding.
245
00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:30,623
I'm just saying, if I
hadn't paid that waitress
246
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,006
to say we were perfect for each other,
247
00:11:32,030 --> 00:11:33,438
we might not even be together.
248
00:11:33,463 --> 00:11:34,839
You ever think of that?
249
00:11:34,864 --> 00:11:36,866
I'm thinking about it right now.
250
00:11:37,471 --> 00:11:38,888
But everything worked out.
251
00:11:38,889 --> 00:11:41,765
Look at us! We're in love.
252
00:11:43,406 --> 00:11:45,561
What you don't get is that
you didn't need to do it.
253
00:11:45,562 --> 00:11:47,104
I already liked you.
254
00:11:47,105 --> 00:11:49,528
Well, and I already liked you, too.
255
00:11:49,553 --> 00:11:53,031
That's why I had to play all
those tricks and lock it down.
256
00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:57,328
- All those tricks? There's more?
- No. Who said that?
257
00:11:58,408 --> 00:12:00,623
I'm starting to
question a lot of things.
258
00:12:00,648 --> 00:12:03,588
Wh-Wh... What about that
night in your apartment
259
00:12:03,613 --> 00:12:05,690
when the lights went out, so
you lit a bunch of candles,
260
00:12:05,714 --> 00:12:07,675
and then you took your
shirt off to fix it?
261
00:12:08,529 --> 00:12:10,698
I cut the power.
262
00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:15,591
But my muscles were real and
so were my feelings for you.
263
00:12:15,592 --> 00:12:19,251
Mm. Mm-hmm. And that wounded dove
264
00:12:19,276 --> 00:12:21,680
that you brought over to my
house to nurse back to health?
265
00:12:21,869 --> 00:12:25,706
Did you choke it out so I could
see your soft and gentle side?
266
00:12:26,019 --> 00:12:28,813
No! I would never do that.
267
00:12:30,979 --> 00:12:33,440
I soaked some bread in cough medicine.
268
00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:35,569
But it's still a great memory.
269
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:37,697
And that bird got the
best sleep of his life.
270
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:40,618
You are unbelievable.
271
00:12:40,643 --> 00:12:41,867
I know.
272
00:12:42,112 --> 00:12:45,162
But you're not saying it
like it's a compliment.
273
00:12:46,096 --> 00:12:48,454
Mom, do you have time
to talk about Madison?
274
00:12:48,479 --> 00:12:49,583
Of course, honey.
275
00:12:49,584 --> 00:12:51,001
Hmm.
276
00:12:51,002 --> 00:12:52,759
I'll make us a milkshake.
277
00:12:52,784 --> 00:12:54,421
One glass, two straws.
278
00:12:54,422 --> 00:12:56,799
Hey, hey.
279
00:12:57,438 --> 00:12:59,147
If you want to come back to Team Dad,
280
00:12:59,172 --> 00:13:00,844
I got some ideas to figure this out.
281
00:13:00,845 --> 00:13:02,857
We get you and Madison in an elevator.
282
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:04,139
I cut the power. Oh.
283
00:13:04,140 --> 00:13:06,392
Or a Ferris wheel, huh?
284
00:13:06,393 --> 00:13:07,685
I cut the power.
285
00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:08,770
I'm good.
286
00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:11,640
Fine.
287
00:13:12,894 --> 00:13:15,521
Wouldn't even be here if
I hadn't cut the power.
288
00:13:26,386 --> 00:13:27,788
I see you and Teddy have managed
289
00:13:27,789 --> 00:13:29,708
to pry yourselves
apart for a few minutes.
290
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,434
He's at soccer practice.
291
00:13:35,219 --> 00:13:38,090
You two were talking for a long
time in his room last night.
292
00:13:38,091 --> 00:13:39,854
Girl in room, door closed...
293
00:13:39,879 --> 00:13:41,903
I thought that was against your rules.
294
00:13:42,684 --> 00:13:44,370
Yeah, but I just assumed
295
00:13:44,395 --> 00:13:46,447
that rules went out the
window after I found out
296
00:13:46,472 --> 00:13:49,099
that our relationship was
based on a drugged bird.
297
00:13:50,703 --> 00:13:52,704
I'm Teddy's dad.
298
00:13:52,729 --> 00:13:54,523
I should be teaching him this stuff.
299
00:13:54,757 --> 00:13:56,287
This is my only chance.
300
00:13:56,312 --> 00:13:57,428
We have two girls and one boy.
301
00:13:57,452 --> 00:13:59,069
You get to do it twice.
302
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,447
Fine. You can have one of the girls.
303
00:14:01,448 --> 00:14:03,783
I don't want the girls! I want Teddy!
304
00:14:05,123 --> 00:14:07,411
I had him first. Then you stole him!
305
00:14:07,412 --> 00:14:09,826
I didn't steal him.
306
00:14:09,851 --> 00:14:13,794
He chose me, because I have
advice that actually works.
307
00:14:15,038 --> 00:14:17,240
Let's hear your wonderful advice.
308
00:14:17,265 --> 00:14:20,590
Okay. Well, he said he gets
nervous talking to Madison,
309
00:14:20,615 --> 00:14:22,215
so I told him to send her a text
310
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,334
explaining how he feels about her.
311
00:14:24,359 --> 00:14:26,277
Open and honest.
312
00:14:26,302 --> 00:14:27,890
That's what girls want.
313
00:14:28,497 --> 00:14:30,768
Uh-huh. Okay. Uh-huh.
314
00:14:34,536 --> 00:14:35,536
Hello.
315
00:14:35,936 --> 00:14:37,827
Oh, hi.
316
00:14:37,852 --> 00:14:39,269
It's Madison's mom.
317
00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:40,990
She's probably calling to thank me.
318
00:14:41,821 --> 00:14:44,640
We should enjoy this
together. What's up, Kathy?
319
00:14:44,665 --> 00:14:48,591
Your son is sending my
daughter weird text messages.
320
00:14:49,579 --> 00:14:50,598
If it doesn't stop,
321
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,624
I'm getting the school involved.
322
00:14:53,074 --> 00:14:55,994
Right. Well, bye...
Oh. You already hung up.
323
00:14:57,365 --> 00:14:59,630
Oh, my God. Getting
the school involved?!
324
00:14:59,631 --> 00:15:01,232
All right. Uh, where's his phone?
325
00:15:01,257 --> 00:15:03,802
Uh... backpack.
326
00:15:05,802 --> 00:15:08,590
Uh... Oh, boy. Brace yourself.
327
00:15:08,809 --> 00:15:12,437
"I drew your face on an
apple, and then I ate it."
328
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:16,951
Did you...?
329
00:15:16,976 --> 00:15:18,978
You can't say that.
330
00:15:20,026 --> 00:15:21,527
Listen to this one.
331
00:15:21,528 --> 00:15:23,737
"I follow you on Instagram, Twitter,
332
00:15:23,762 --> 00:15:26,241
and secretly, on your way home."
333
00:15:34,652 --> 00:15:36,822
Uh... this is bad.
334
00:15:36,847 --> 00:15:38,293
Okay. Okay. Okay.
335
00:15:38,294 --> 00:15:40,337
Um... uh, all right.
336
00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:42,016
Katie and Emme get married,
337
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,258
and Teddy lives with
us the rest of his life.
338
00:15:44,259 --> 00:15:46,611
Yeah. Yeah, that's not so bad.
339
00:15:46,636 --> 00:15:48,555
It'll be like having a lonely butler.
340
00:15:50,098 --> 00:15:52,822
I feel terrible for him.
341
00:15:52,847 --> 00:15:54,056
We have to do something.
342
00:15:54,081 --> 00:15:57,251
There is no coming back from
eating her face on an apple.
343
00:15:59,863 --> 00:16:01,033
You know what we need?
344
00:16:01,058 --> 00:16:03,444
- Whiskey.
- No, no, no, no.
345
00:16:04,023 --> 00:16:06,826
- We need some Adam Burns magic.
- Oh.
346
00:16:06,851 --> 00:16:08,912
Your fake magic, your trickery.
347
00:16:08,937 --> 00:16:10,200
I thought you hated that stuff.
348
00:16:10,201 --> 00:16:12,119
Yeah, but we have to help Teddy,
349
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,599
and-and it works,
right? It worked on me.
350
00:16:14,624 --> 00:16:16,784
I mean, you schemed your
way into getting a woman
351
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,560
you in no way deserved.
352
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,511
- I am good, aren't I?
- Mm-hmm.
353
00:16:22,598 --> 00:16:25,174
So you're not mad at me for
paying that waitress anymore?
354
00:16:26,593 --> 00:16:28,381
I'm choosing to believe
355
00:16:28,406 --> 00:16:30,533
that when she said we
were the cutest couple
356
00:16:30,558 --> 00:16:33,603
and perfect for each
other, that there was magic.
357
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:35,809
The magic of getting you,
358
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:38,896
a known cheapskate, to
part with ten dollars.
359
00:16:39,555 --> 00:16:41,599
Yeah, she wouldn't make change.
360
00:16:42,776 --> 00:16:44,234
All right, so...
361
00:16:44,235 --> 00:16:46,111
- So what are you thinking?
- Uh, well,
362
00:16:46,112 --> 00:16:48,113
we combine our superpowers, right?
363
00:16:48,114 --> 00:16:51,308
My honesty and your man-made magic.
364
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:54,622
Right? If we work together,
we can save the day.
365
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,289
I like it.
366
00:16:57,942 --> 00:16:59,981
I think this is how
the Avengers started.
367
00:17:00,006 --> 00:17:01,221
Yes.
368
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,229
Look, we came here
369
00:17:03,254 --> 00:17:05,057
because we want to be completely honest.
370
00:17:05,082 --> 00:17:07,567
Madison, you and Teddy were doing great,
371
00:17:07,592 --> 00:17:09,510
but then we got involved
and ruined everything.
372
00:17:09,511 --> 00:17:12,737
Yeah, we were the problem,
and we're, and we're so sorry.
373
00:17:12,762 --> 00:17:14,596
Do you like Teddy?
374
00:17:14,621 --> 00:17:17,824
I did until people told me he
let the air out of my bike tire.
375
00:17:17,849 --> 00:17:20,230
That was me. I told him to do that.
376
00:17:20,986 --> 00:17:22,938
And I'm the one who told him
377
00:17:22,963 --> 00:17:26,693
to send you super-honest text
messages about his feelings.
378
00:17:26,694 --> 00:17:28,695
You guys are the worst.
379
00:17:28,696 --> 00:17:30,603
Yes. Thank you, Kathy.
380
00:17:30,628 --> 00:17:32,689
That's what we're
saying. We're the worst.
381
00:17:33,251 --> 00:17:34,576
But Teddy's not.
382
00:17:34,577 --> 00:17:36,578
Oh, my God.
383
00:17:36,579 --> 00:17:38,539
I can't believe you
two actually came here.
384
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:39,899
Leave these poor people alone.
385
00:17:39,924 --> 00:17:42,227
We're just trying to
fix what we screwed up.
386
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,586
I'll handle this.
387
00:17:44,587 --> 00:17:46,392
Hey, Madison, you know me, right?
388
00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:47,548
Everyone at school knows you.
389
00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:49,633
You're a legend. I
heard you had a party...
390
00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:52,029
Uh, we don't need to talk about that.
391
00:17:52,054 --> 00:17:53,572
Uh, listen.
392
00:17:53,597 --> 00:17:55,429
I saw you and Teddy at our house,
393
00:17:55,454 --> 00:17:59,220
and I was like... and I wrote
this down so I'd remember it...
394
00:18:00,189 --> 00:18:01,228
"Oh, my God.
395
00:18:01,229 --> 00:18:03,429
"You two are the cutest couple.
396
00:18:03,454 --> 00:18:04,914
You're perfect for each other."
397
00:18:04,939 --> 00:18:06,980
- Really?
- Totally.
398
00:18:07,005 --> 00:18:08,629
And if you like Teddy,
399
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,718
I think you should go to
the skate party with him.
400
00:18:10,743 --> 00:18:12,160
It'll be fun.
401
00:18:12,231 --> 00:18:14,764
All right, I want to go with him.
402
00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,123
Mom?
403
00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:18,504
Fine, but I'm driving both ways.
404
00:18:18,529 --> 00:18:19,527
Yeah.
405
00:18:19,552 --> 00:18:21,206
Oh. Yeah. Great. Great.
406
00:18:21,207 --> 00:18:24,015
And-and we promise that
we will never get involved
407
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,169
in Teddy's personal life again.
408
00:18:26,550 --> 00:18:28,680
Oh, by the way, you have a beautiful...
409
00:18:28,705 --> 00:18:31,425
Oh. And you already closed the door.
410
00:18:31,426 --> 00:18:34,843
Way to go, Avengers.
411
00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:37,445
Instead of saving the world,
we tricked a teenage girl,
412
00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:39,431
- but it still feels good.
- Mm-hmm.
413
00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:43,147
What's that?
414
00:18:43,172 --> 00:18:44,710
That's the 20 bucks we agreed on.
415
00:18:44,735 --> 00:18:46,356
Yeah, 20 bucks to do it,
416
00:18:46,357 --> 00:18:49,250
but did we settle on a price for
me not telling Teddy about it?
417
00:18:55,911 --> 00:18:57,409
That kid is going places.
418
00:18:57,410 --> 00:18:59,203
Mm-hmm.
419
00:19:09,895 --> 00:19:12,564
Adam, what's happening?
420
00:19:14,799 --> 00:19:19,028
Wow. Looks like the power went out.
421
00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:23,635
Right when the kids are at my folks'
422
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:26,979
and I have this candle
in one hand and...
423
00:19:27,004 --> 00:19:29,563
a bottle of wine in the other!
424
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:31,978
That's lucky.
425
00:19:35,637 --> 00:19:37,848
You cut the power, didn't you?
426
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:40,509
Do you really want to know,
427
00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:42,745
or do you want to just enjoy the magic?
428
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,938
I'll take the magic.
429
00:19:46,963 --> 00:19:48,248
Yeah.
430
00:19:48,734 --> 00:19:50,510
Go ahead. Woo me.
431
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:54,428
I thought I just did.
432
00:19:57,665 --> 00:19:59,812
I can go outside and
try to catch a bird,
433
00:19:59,837 --> 00:20:00,838
but I got to tell you, honey,
434
00:20:00,862 --> 00:20:02,405
I'm not as quick as I used to be.
435
00:20:05,154 --> 00:20:06,054
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