Original subtitles

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阿弥陀佛 Buddha be praised

阿弥陀佛 Buddha be praised

辛苦，辛苦 You did a great job

请坐，请坐 Have a seat

会主，请坐 Please sit down

好，好 All right

今天晚上的十八罗汉收大鹏 That was a great

你们的表演真不错 performance tonight

你过奖了 Thank you

现在先把戏金交给你们 Here are your fees

全部在这儿，请点收 As we agreed

谢谢 Thank you

还有，这是小小的意思，不成敬意 Here is an extra bonus

谢谢 Thank you

不要客气 Don't mention it

我们这里太偏僻 We're out

很多年来都没有做神功戏了 in the wilderness

你们的戏班肯到这里来，真是难得了 It's so nice of you to come

你别客气呀 It's our pleasure

睡觉啦 It's late

不阻你们休息，明天见 Good night

明天见 Good night

不送了 Watch your steps

请留步 I will

请 Good night

达大哥，要不要多点水呀？ You want some tea?

不用了，你早点睡吧 No thanks

明天一早我们就要离开这里 You'd better go to bed

明天见 Good night

好，明天见 Good night

难道昨天晚上… Those were ghosts

这件事是这样的… That was what happened

张达叔，这样说起来 So you run

你岂不是常常遇见鬼了 into ghosts often

你才常鬼 Watch your mouth

达叔说了这么多 Ghosts should not

你也不知避忌，还在乱讲 be joked about

我们戏班中的人常常扮神扮鬼扮小人 In our business of Chinese opera

免不了会遇上了鬼灵精怪的事 We play ghosts very often

所以避忌的事要记着… We should respect them

对不起，我们路过贵境打扰了 Forgive us if we disturb you

走吧，小心点呀 Watch out for things

达叔，你怎么这么迷信的呀？ You're that superstitious?

我从小见得这种事特别多 I grew up

所以就很迷信 with these things

我就不相信 I don't believe in ghosts

我知道这回不是鬼是人 That wasn't done by a ghost

谁叫你敲打我呀 You hit me first

这叫人憎鬼厌了 I was just getting even

不要玩了，走吧 Stop fooling around

你们这些新入行的年青人脾气真坏 You newcomers have bad temper

嘈什么，你主人有人抬 Your master

而我们就跟大队走 travels first class

再嘈就宰了你 Be quiet or I'll kill you

让我去拿吧 I'll get it

不用了，说说笑而已，到啦 Don't bother, I was only joking

这张床是你的 This is your bed

拣剩才给我 It's the worst one

换一张床好吗？ Can we change beds?

先到先得，没话好说 No way

喂，我怕蚊虫的 I hate mosquitoes

我有贫血症 Who doesn't?

到你做大佬倌时就睡单人房 You're not a star

用不着住这种大宿舍了 Don't try to

走开走开，谢谢 be fussy

真的不可以商量？ Is that it?

不可以 Yes

夕阳西照，月影东流 The moon will shine over here

阿标，你真棒，我佩服你 Piao, you're doomed

阿贵，你这样说是什么意思？ What do you mean?

不，没什么意思 Whatever that means

你这样乱讲是不大吉利的 Don't tell stories

我是依书直说的 I'm telling you facts

依书？依什么书呀？ What facts?

赖布衣的风水指南，你看过没有？ Have you read the Night Guide?

没有 No

对了对了 It says

照书上说这间屋你的床是个三煞位 your bed's position is doomed

不过你可以当没有这么一回事 I'd better

不用耽心 not say anymore

那就错了，有什么办法可以挡煞呀 What should I do then?

装个八卦，养一缸金鱼？ Anything at all?

对，你的生肖是什么？ What year were you born?

老虎 Tiger

真的 Really

是呀 Yes

这个窗的阳光刚好照正着你的床 Light from the window shines on your bed

你知不知道这叫什么？ Do you know what that means?

不知道 No

这叫虎落平阳被犬欺 You may run into ghosts

睡在床底下或者会有得救 You'd better sleep under the bed

我去整理床铺啦 I'd better make my bed

睡在床底下，怎么睡法呀？ Why sleep under the bed?

贵哥，你生肖是什么？ What year were you born?

龙 Dragon

那么你岂不是可以吸收日子精华了 Then you're resistant to dark forces

照相书是这么说 So they say

贵哥，帮我忙换张床好吗？ Can you change bed with me?

换床？不行，不可能 Of course not

你的命顶得住，帮帮忙好吗？ Help me out please

很麻烦，又要把东西拿过去 I don't want to move my things around

又要抹干净张床给你 I'm too tired

不用，床我自己抹，东西我帮你拿 I'll move them for you

贵哥，捱捱义气吧 I'll owe you one

算了，算了 Did you lie down

刚才你有没有睡过那张床呀？ on that bed?

我是轻轻的碰过 Just for a second

碰过？请你封一包红包在席底 You'd better leave a red packet

不然的话那衰气就会跟着你 To stop any dark forces

想救也没办法了 that follow you

好，好 Sure

麻烦你了 Thank you

贵哥，又找到一个傻瓜呀？ You fooled him, Kuei

别弄僵我的事呀 Don't tell him

或者你讲得对 May be this bed

可能这张床真的是三煞位也说不定 is really doomed

大吉大利 Go to hell

贵哥，睡在这张床是觉得舒服得多 I'm so happy with this bed

干什么？ What's up?

人有三急 Call of nature

真是懒人屎尿多 This time of the night?

陪我一齐去好吗？ I'm scared to go alone

你呀真那么胆小呀 You're such a coward

又不是叫你去抢东西，尿尿而已 What's there to be afraid of?

你有没有听说过尿尿一齐尿 Ghosts, devils,

否则会死大哥 monsters,,,

好，我陪你好了，不要多说废话 All right, I'll go with you

尿尿也不敢 So gutless

对不起呀大哥，请你让一让 Excuse me please

有没有搞错呀 I thought you

又要我陪你又要我让一让 wanted me here

不，我跟他们讲一声 I was talking to them

跟他们？ Them?

这种事有什么可信呀 You believe in ghosts?

不是 Yes

那边有个金塔，我就尿给你看 I'll urinate over that grave

不要，很邪的 Don't do that

你真不够运了，想借都没得借了 Sorry about that

味道好不好？ How was it?

有点咸的味道 It was awful

走呀 什么事呀？ Run What's wrong?

有鬼呀！ Ghosts!

你说什么咸咸的 Why did you say it's awful?

你问我什么味道嘛 I didn't say anything

没有 Really?

没有？ No

我没讲话呀 It wasn't me

鬼呀… Ghosts!

干什么？ What's up?

吓你 Having fun

整日拿些假的东西来吓我 I'm not afraid

就算是真的我也不一定会怕 of ghosts

贵哥，你怎么会常常撞鬼的呀？ Do you run into ghosts often?

不是撞，是见… Yes

见？你怎么会看见鬼的 How can you tell?

因为我有一双眼睛 I have two eyes

废话，我们也有一双眼睛 So do l

我这对眼又怎么会跟你的一对相同呢 Mine are different than yours

我的一对叫阴阳眼 I have "Good-Bad" eyes

阴阳眼？ What?

左属阴，右属阳 Left is good Right is Bad

掩了左眼右眼看，掩了右眼左眼看 Stare and I will see

想看就睁大眼睛，不看就合起来 I was born with such eyes

哗，那些鬼不是很得人怕？ Do ghosts look scare?

鬼本来就不可怕，只不过人怕鬼 Only if you're afraid of them

其实人不应该怕鬼的 You have no reason to

为什么？ Why?

因为人的身体有三火 Our bodies have three flames

头顶一把，左膊一把，右膊一把 Over our heads and two shoulders

只要火不熄灭，鬼就不够胆走过来 Ghosts are afraid of these flames

所以行夜路时，千万不要刹时回头 As long as the flames are burning

如果火一熄灭… You're safe

你们有没有试过尿完尿发抖呀？ Do you tremble when you urinate?

有 Yes

你呢？ And you?

有 Yes

真的？这种叫做肾亏，与鬼无关 That has nothing to do with ghosts

这还好 Thank God

火一熄就会猛鬼入屋冤鬼缠身 Ghosts can possess a man

不过这种鬼不是逢人就上身 Not any man though

是要拣那些杀人放火，无恶不作 They only pick bad guys

忘恩负义，恩将仇报的人才上身 Like murderers, rapists, traitors

所以俗语说 If you aren't bad

为人不作亏心事，那怕半夜鬼敲门 You shouldn't be afraid of ghosts

开门呀，开门呀，我是阿标呀 Open up, it's Piao

开门啦，快点 Let me in

你们一定是做了亏心事 I told you

所以才怕成这样 you shouldn't be afraid

快点，开门呀 Open up

你们干什么？撞了邪吗？ Did you run into ghosts?

是呀，你怎么知道的？ How do you know?

今天早上经过金塔的时候 I'm an expert

就见到你的印堂发黑 in these things

到底发生了什么事？ What really happened?

就是因为那些金塔 We passed by a grave

对，对，他向着金塔尿尿呀 He urinated over it

完了 Oh, my God

不会吧，我一时贪玩 I didn't mean to

怎么知道会真的有鬼 insult anyone

邪物分分钟会沿着水上的 Evil things would flow back with the urine

去到那里你就自己想想看 And you know where to, don't you?

有没有觉得不舒服呀？ Feel anything?

有点痕痒 A bit itchy

不用娶老婆了，一切完了 Don't bother to get married

你是说… You mean,,,

不会生儿子了 You'll be impotent

贵哥，你替他想想办法吧 Is there any remedy?

对，你对鬼认识那么深 You're such an expert,

你跟他想想吧 help him out

是呀 Right

办法就没有了，唯有上炷香拜祭他 You'd better do some offerings

希望你见到的那只不会是恶鬼 And pray he's not a bad ghost

那么你陪我去吧 Can you come with me?

这件事怎么能够陪你去呀 You have to go by yourself

有人陪你去表示你没有诚心 In order to show

反而不大好 you're sincere

那么明天一天亮我就去 I'll go at dawn then

还等明天天亮？迟了就来不及了 That would be too late

那… I...

那什么，玩的时候胆子就大得不得了 You really have no choice

现在就震到发抖 You have to go now

没办法啦，唯有硬着头皮立刻去 You're right, I'll go now

喂喂，多买点东西去拜祭 Offer the ghost

不要太吝啬呀 a lot of food

知道 Yes

买定两瓶好酒，今天晚上有吃有看 We have a dinner show tonight

你是作弄他的吗？ You were putting him on?

我是想安定他的心 Just for his peace of mind

阿标，你带路，我们快点去 Piao, show us the way

还是这样比较好 This is better

有怪莫怪，我阿光不懂规矩 Please forgive me

我不是有意的 I didn't mean it

我说你是故意的 You did it on purpose

不，不，我一时贪玩 No, I was just naughty

你很喜欢玩的吗？ So you're a naughty boy

你会不会翻筋斗呀？ Can you do somersaults?

会，会，我翻给你看 Yes, I'll show you

我翻完了 That's it

你知不知道什么叫鬼吃泥呀？ Do you know what mud tastes like?

不知道，不知道 No

吃过就知道了，吃呀 Try it and you'll know

不是这些，是你撒尿湿了的那些 Try the mud you urinated over

什么味道？ How is it?

有点咸味 Awful

以后做人要醒目一点 Behave yourself from now on

这餐宵夜真丰富呀 Such a wonderful snack

都是你的计划好 Thanks to your plan

还不快点去多谢他 Let's thank him

谢谢 Thank you

你们这班臭小子 You bastards

回去吃宵夜去 Let's go home

不要怪我，要怪就怪他 Don't blame us, blame him

都是你的所为 It's all your fault

兄弟，撒尿就不要紧 Don't you dare

但不要搞烂我的窦口 ruining my home

华光沐浴 Bless us please

灵光普照万事兴 Let our show have a good run

左千里眼 Enlighten us

看清人情物理 Let us see through shams

右顺风耳 Guide us

听尽事事非非 Lead us away from trouble

须知人生如戏，莫怨戏剧人生 Life is just like a show

一切悲欢离合，所有生老病死 All ups and downs

尤如南柯一梦，顿成过眼云烟 They, like dreams, come and go

佳哥，由你替师父开光 Chia, perform the rite

朱砂开笔，大利大吉 Good luck to us all

开箱大吉 Get to work

你就比我好多了 I am

我尸骨不全是个孤魂野鬼 a wandering ghost

常常受恶鬼欺凌，不知该怎么办？ Bad ghosts bully me all the time

还不快点过来 Come over here

又要受罪了 That ghost

那恶鬼的手又痕痒了，来了 is really bad

大哥，有什么吩咐呀？ What can I do for you?

为什么这地方弄得这么脏呀？ Do you see this mess?

不是我干的 I didn't do it

这里只有我和你，不是你是谁呀？ We are the only ones here though

是上… Someone

没话好说吧 You deserve

现在不是我手痒而是你身痒 to be punished

少打一回都不行 You asked for it

这样下去不是个办法 I can't stand it any longer

好，等我有机会返回世间避一避 I'd better get back to earth

各位各位，大家暂时不要工作 Hold everything please

我不怕长气，再对你说多一次 I have to remind you again

我们的老规矩，等回祭白虎的时候 We can't talk

千万不要出声 during the ceremony

连咳都要忍住 We can't even cough

最近喝得参汤太多痰涌上喉咙 I've been eating too well recently

整天在 外边鬼混，很容易马上风的 You fool around with women too much

挨不到你说话 That's none of your business

我胡混关你什么事，难道你有资格吗 Not anyone can have that privilege

兄弟呀，人生在世不风流只因贫 One has to have money

贫血就有你的份，你想马上风就难了 Which you don't have

别人常常都是这么说 That has always

我都不知怎么解释 puzzled me

现在我明白了 Now I understand

你还算弟兄吗 As my buddy

看见我给人家欺负你都不帮忙 you should be helping me

还要帮别人来气我 Not teasing me

这都是你自己不好 It's all your fault

俗语说宁可得罪君子莫得罪小人 You shouldn't have messed with bullies

快干活去 Get to work

哗，这么大的煞气呀 This place smells evil

不行，我怕黑的 I'm afraid of the dark

你没事吧？ Are you all right?

原来是你们 It's you guys

达叔，他多喝了两杯 He's drunk

听说是你把他灌醉的 I heard you got him drunk

怎么会醉成这个样子呀？ He really is dead drunk

你太过份了，明天晚上是你的重头戏 Kuei, tomorrow is a big night

你还陪他们鬼混 for you

还不快点回去睡觉 Go home and sleep

回去吧 Go

是 Yes

走吧 Come on

那个女的真漂亮 That was gorgeous lady

怎么无端端会熄灭的？ What made that happen?

为什么这块镜子照不见我的？ Why can't I see myself in the mirror?

喂，出力呀，顶住呀 Don't fall apart

你拉牢，我剪 Pull tight

剪啦 Now

快点上来，还有事情要做 Come back up, I need you

我的头… My head

出来，出来呀 Come out

这次事情闹大了 It's getting out of control

把东西先收拾好 Tidy up first

走吧 Let's go

快点，快点 Hurry!

快 Hurry!

达叔 Uncle Sheng

你们干什么呀？ What are you doing?

尿尿呀 Going to the bathroom

尿尿… Going to the bathroom

怎么一回事，跟我一样 So am l

你们昨天晚上是不是把新少佳吓晕了 Did you scare Chia last night?

是呀，他让我们吓得 We scared the hell

坐也不是立也不是 out of him

就因这样而晕了 He passed out

有这样好的节目都不叫我一声 Why didn't you let me know?

你已经醉得昏头昏脑了 You were dead drunk

不如今天晚上再多来一次 Let's do it

让他吓得胡里糊涂好吗？ again tonight

第一次做的是天才 To do it once is smart

第二次呢是蠢材 Twice is stupid

你们这些兔崽子 You made a fool

昨天晚上扮鬼来吓我 out of me

谁吓你呀，你不要乱讲 Don't be a liar

对不起，我有事先走了 I have to run

办法是你想出来有事就卸责 You were

现在自己打自己的嘴巴了 the mastermind

佳，你干什么？ Hold it, Chia

佳哥，有事慢慢讲呀 Listen to me

讲你妈的 Like hell I will

佳哥，别这样呀 Stop it!

佳哥，不关我的事呀，佳哥 I wasn't involved

走，快点走 Run!

不要打呀，不要打呀 Stop fighting

算了吧，再打我就不跟你客气了 My patience is running out

我阿佳向来就不跟你客气的 That's your problem

死兔崽子 Idiot!

不要打，不要打呀 Hold it!

不要打呀 Stop fighting

你傻了是不是，连他一起箍呀 Don't just hold me

只箍我一个，你有没有搞错呀 Hold him, you fool

不要打呀，不要打呀 Stop fighting

停手 Freeze!

停手 Freeze!

惨了，惨了 You ruined

你们把我的东西都打烂了，怎么办？ my place

老板，跟我来 Come with me

你赔还给我 Pay the damages

你们有没有搞错 Are you out of your mind?

到这儿来锣还没开就搞成这个样子 Tonight is our opening night

达叔，我们… Uncle Sheng,,,

回去再说 Go home

我向来胆小的 I'm still in shock

现在我两脚还在发软 I can't act

一怕起来我连戏也不会做 when I'm in shock

你是他们的老大 You're supposed

你还跟他们搞在一起 to be their guardian

达叔，阿佳在发脾气了 Chia is real mad

你们几个人也真是… It's all your fault

好了，过去跟佳哥道歉吧，去呀 Go apologize to Chia

岂有此理 So out of line

向佳哥认个错 Apologize to Chia

免了，我阿佳受不起的 Don't bother

如果再激怒了他们 Next time

岂止扮鬼吓我这么简单 they may not just scare me

放火烧屋他们都敢呀 They may try to kill me

为了保存生命，我还是避开点的好 I'd better go away

佳哥，别这么说，大人不记小人过 Do me a favour, Chia

还不快点道歉 Apologize to Chia

佳哥，对不起 We're sorry!

佳哥，他们都知错了，原谅他们吧 See, Forgive them, Chia

告诉你们吧 Just remember

从来只有别人受我阿佳的气 one thing

你们想作弄我，很难了 I always get even

算了，大家出去做工作吧 All right, get to work

这位佳大牌，真是不可一世了 That Chia is a proud bastard

快点，就要轮到你了 Hurry, you're up next

佳哥，等一下就轮到你了 Can you rehearse

我想你跟阿贵先排排戏 with Kuei?

排戏？ What?

阿贵艺高人胆大 Kuei doesn't

叫他等一回台上见吧 need any rehearsal

阿贵第一次演狮子楼 This is a new role

我想他也不大熟练 for him

你最好根他练习练习 He needs to block it out

面是人家给，架是自己丢 That is his problem

麻烦你告诉他叫他演得好一点 One shouldn't bite

不要连累我的声誉 what one can't chew

对不起，我赶着出场 I'm sorry

你的眼睛瞎了吗？ Are you blind?

还没有搞掂呀，快点，轮到你了 Hurry up, you're up next

还有你呀，快点 You too, hurry

知道啦 Yes!

又不是第一次，你说是白色的嘛 You should have done this often enough

黑白都分不清楚，真笨 That's really stupid

奇怪 That's strange

你为什么打我呀？ Why did you hit me?

谁叫你亲我呀 You kissed me

谁亲你呀？ No, I didn't!

不是你难道是鬼吗？ Was it a ghost then?

这次又说不是你干的吧 I know you'll deny it

我都不知道你说什么 What do you mean?

为老不尊 Dirty old man

你怎么乱撞的呀，外面台上正在做戏 Don't mess up the backstage

请让一让，让开一点 Excuse me, excuse me!

丽姐，这么急干什么？ What's the rush?

人有三急嘛 Call of nature

对不起，我急尿呀 I need to use the bathroom

有好戏看 Nice

精彩呀 Wonderful

谁呀？ Who's that?

死鬼阿标，偷看人家小便太离谱了 You Peeping Tom

不要嘈了，不要嘈了 Calm down

阿贵，轮到你出场了 Kuei, you're up!

是 Yes

让我欣赏欣赏贵哥演戏 Let me enjoy the show

楼上可是西门庆？ Is it Hsi upstairs?

正是 Yes

楼下可是武松？ Is it Wu downstairs?

正是，俺武松上来了 Yes I'm coming up

好呀，好呀 Great

你看，贵哥打得多劲呀 Kuei is really at it

当然啦，不像阿佳打得那么没劲 Chia's mind is somewhere else

快轮到我们了，快去化妆 We'll be up soon

有没有搞错呀，走路也会勾跌人？ How did that happen?

谁勾你呀？ Who tripped you?

要你的命 I'll kill you!

低头 Duck

低头呀 Duck

我… I...

怎么你来真的？ What are you doing?

我不知道 I don't know

好呀，好呀 Great

锣鼓敲起来了 The drum is beating

他什么时候学会了三个凌空翻的呀？ When did he learn to do that?

你好本领，抢我的镜头 You're stealing my show

死兔崽子，爆阴毒呀 Are you out of your mind?

不是 No

快，不然就收不了场了 Get it over with

我都不大明白 I don't understand

我的手… My arm,,,

杀呀 不行 Kill me No

为什么不行？ Why not?

你不杀我怎么可以下台呀 We have to end the show

想下台嘛很容易 That's easy!

武松，你真棒，后会有期 I'll see you later!

你妈的 Damn

佳哥，刚才我… Chia, just now

我，我什么… What?

佳哥 Chia

什么事？ What's wrong?

不要发这么大的脾气 Calm down please

我发脾气？ Ask him

你去问问他怎么样当小武的 if he knows his part

我自己也不知道会这样的 I don't know how it happened

应做就不做，不应做的就做到十足 He was improvising selfishly

兄弟，你这样整蛊我，以后还能捞吗 You have ruined my reputation

佳哥，阿贵不敢这样做的 This must be a misunderstanding

不会？是你这种班主才会请他 Only you would hire him

达叔，换衣服 Uncle Sheng, my wardrobe

都是我不好 It's all my fault

霸王别虞姬 Selection One

贵哥，不打也让别人打了 Don't

用不着垂头丧气 be depressed

整晚垂低头似的，来，喝杯酒 Come, drink some wine

谁说我没心思呀？ I'm not depressed

吃面当然是垂低头吃 How else can one eat noodles?

难道要这样吃的吗？ Like this?

笑什么？ What's so funny?

你不是说过没人是这样吃面的 Look at his way

现在就有了 of eating noodles

伙计，算账 The check please

吃呀 Eat

干杯，干杯 Cheers

年青人喝这么多的酒 Drink too much

到年老的时候就跟我一样 and you'll be like me

举头望明月 Hello, up there

兔崽子，你一定会有这么的一天 Your turn will come

人家都已经七八十岁了 Don't make fun

还作弄人家干什么？ of old people

对呀，要嘛就像 Make fun of mean bastards,

今天贵哥作弄那人一样才算高招 Iike what Kuei did

其实… Actually,,,

其实想起来都十分有趣 Actually it was fun

贵哥，你好棒 You dared to

连佳大牌你都敢作弄，真厉害 make fun of a star

你们不明白的 You don't understand

贵哥不是大牌吗？ Kuei is a star too

那个人这么嚣张，给他点颜色看看 We should teach that man a lesson

我… I'll do it

你等着瞧我阿标怎样对付他 sooner or later

嘴硬，你忘了上次被人窒的时候 Have you forgotten

哑口无言吗？ Iast time?

别多说了，一人一句的窒住着 Get off my case

轮到我讲没有？ Can I talk now?

既然你们认为今天晚上做得对 Since you liked

那么这… what I did tonight

哎，惨啦 Oh, my God

急尿是吗？ What's wrong?

没带钱？ Problem?

还是忘记带呀？ Forget your purse?

他每次算账都是这样的 He uses that trick everytime

贵哥，这次是真的 This time is not a trick

那么以前全都是骗我们的？ Then you were cheating us

以前是有真有假 I did it once

不过这次全都是事实 in a while

我先回到戏棚取回家生，再见 I've to tidy up the backstage

喂，喂，吝啬鬼 Cheap fellow

戏弄他好吗？ Let's scare him

好，好 Good

像上回一样？ Like last time?

不是又怎么样？ Yes

老板，算账 The check please

不要多想了，得快乐时且快乐 I'd better enjoy myself

走快点，走快点 Hurry!

有人来了 Someone's coming!

你猜阿标回来了没有？ Do you think he's back yet?

怎么会这样快呀 No

他连痾尿也比人慢呀 He's such a slow person

是不是像整蛊阿佳一样 Should we do

拉台搬凳拆衣柜呀？ what we did to Chia?

用不着这么麻烦 That's not necessary

他的头脑很笨 Let's make ourselves

假意整蛊作怪就把他吓坏了 up as ghosts

我们快些去化妆 Get to work right away

好，好 Great

他们扮鬼吓人都很有趣 I'm going

让我也趁趁热闹 to join them

干什么呀你？ What are you doing?

不是叫你做戏呀 Make yourself up

叫你扮鬼吓人呀，傻瓜 as a ghost

我们一人走一边 We'll follow

他跑到那里我们就吓到那里，走 him around

我怎么办？ What about me?

你自己想办法 Improvise

有没有搞错呀，你这样怎能吓到他呀 That won't scare him

是你说的嘛 You said

他跑到那里就跟在他后边吓到那里 follow him around

你要让他看见呀，笨蛋，去呀 You have to let him see you

我们这么多人都吓不到他 We didn't scare him

他一个人就把他吓晕了，他真棒 He did it on his own

一、二、三、四，他是谁？ 1, 2, 3, 4 Who is he?

我就是我呀 It's me

那么差劲！ To bad!

一不留心你这个衰佬 You were fooling around

就出 外寻花问柳了 with women

什么？我只是去打天九牌而已 I was only playing cards

跟三个女人打天九？ With three women?

赌钱分什么男女 Women play

只要有钱输就没问题了 cards too

那么你是赢还是输呀？ Did you win?

输了 No

当然是输，混在三个狐狸精中 You weren't paying attention

什么牌都不理了 to your cards

我就没留意了，我只是顾着自己的 Of course I was

你这人的脾气，我知一清二楚 I bet you

你快给鬼迷住了 were hugging those women

白天不要讲别人，晚上不要讲鬼呀 Don't be ridiculous

有鬼呀 Ghosts

有鬼呀，鬼呀… Ghosts

是别人看见鬼，我们为什么要走？ Why are we running away?

那一定是有鬼了 Someone saw some ghosts

我们看看自己的样子 They thought

别人见了我们都觉得见到鬼了 we're ghosts

快些脱下衣服去拾回阿标 Take off you clothes now and pick bill back

今天晚上那台戏可能被鬼搞都说不定 A ghost may have ruined our show tonight

将军 Checkmate

被鬼搞？我看他们在搞鬼是真 I think Kuei did it on purpose

坐正 Watch this

不要跟那些年青人生气了，早点睡吧 You'd better get some sleep

这局棋算和棋吧 Let's call it a draw

和棋？ A draw?

好了好了，算了 It is going

大家都是势均力敌，明天见 to be a draw anyway

对了！有机会的话教训教训阿贵 You should have a word

你是他半个的师父 with Kuei

再是这样的话我就跟他不客气了 I don't want another sabotage

你们撞鬼呀？ Did you run into ghosts?

你怎么知道的？ How do you know?

你看看你们个德性 Look how drunk you are

不是，我们… No, we didn't...

阿贵，你先去睡吧 Kuei, go to bed

让我跟他们说好了 I'll talk to them

我不敢看了 Spare me

达叔，刚才我们真的见鬼呀 We did run into a ghost

是呀，那只鬼… That's right

不要多说，先把阿标救醒 Let's wake Piao up first

听你刚才所说，那只… From what you told me

阿贵，你先去上炷香 Kuei, offer some incense

是 Yes

有怪莫怪 Bless us

鬼只不过是人死后的幽灵 Ghost is the soul of a dead person

当人死了以后 Which is supposed

他的灵性凝聚不散，就叫做鬼 to disintegrate upon death

所以鬼跟人一样 Ghosts retain

保持着他本来的人性 their human nature

鬼也有人性，照理不会得人怕呀 They won't hurt us then

是呀，你们给鬼纠缠 That ghost didn't hurt you,

除了吓得一身惊 外 did he?

你们一点损失都没有 So he must not

所以我说不算是只衰鬼 be a bad ghost

鬼也有好鬼与衰鬼之分的吗？ Are there good and bad ghosts?

当然，人也有好人和衰人 Just like there are good and bad men

我知道了，好人死后变好鬼 Good men become good ghosts

衰人死后变衰鬼 after death

阿标这么好色死后变只色鬼 Piao will become a horny ghost

那么你呢？ What about you?

我…长命百岁 I won't die yet

那变成一只死老鬼了 You'll be an old ghost

好了好了，你这班小鬼头还不快去睡 You'd better go to bed

不说还没问题，说了还要惊慌 I'm really scared now

我先走了，兄弟呀，当心鬼跟住你们 Don't let any ghosts follow you

达叔，明天见 Good night, Uncle Sheng

等等我呀，等等我呀… Wait for me

达叔，我是孤魂野鬼，我想求你… I'm a wandering ghost

明天你替我把大蟒袍熨好呀 Don't forget to iron my wardrobe

知道，我替你熨好它，你去睡吧 Don't worry, get some sleep

不要偷懒呀 Don't forget

别忘了我那件大蟒袍呀 Don't forget to iron my wardrobe

破坏我的事，让我来整蛊你 You'll pay for messing up my chance

谁碰撞我呀？ Who hit me?

怎么搞的呀？ What's going on?

怎么凳都会喝醉的呀？ A drunk stool?

这么坏呀你 Naughty

这班衰鬼又来整蛊我了 Must be those idiots again

吓我？ Another joke?

你这个人那么可恶 I'll let you

让我现原形来吓吓你 see me

鬼都不怕？ I'm not afraid

还假扮什么？ Stop playing games

吓鬼？ Who are you?

吓人 A ghost

人吓人 A real one?

鬼吓人 A poltergeist

大法师 I'm an exorcist

以为我醉了，其实我非常的清醒 I'm not drunk at all

这人这么坏 I'll mess up

让我到后台弄乱他的衣箱去 his wardrobe chest

谁搞乱了我的衣箱位？ Who messed up my chest?

说呀，说呀，是谁？ Speak up

鬼呀，鬼呀… A ghost

又是阿贵？ It's Kuei again!

不是阿贵，是我 I did it

不要生人不生胆，是又惊不是又惊 Don't be scared so easily

白天那里会有鬼呀 Ghosts don't come out in daytime

要去的话你们自己去 You can go

见过鬼还不怕吗？ by yourself

等一等 Wait!

什么事呀？ What's the matter?

我一走进戏棚就觉得阴风阵阵 I don't want to go

我不进去了 inside the theatre

你不进去是吗？ Are you sure?

不进去 Positive

就算有鬼出现 Ghosts go

也会找寻人烟稠密的地方，傻瓜 wherever is crowded

对，等等我呀 Wait for me

佳哥，早 Hi, Chia

早你的死人头 Go to hell

不要打，不要打 Hold it

他干什么呀？ What's wrong with him?

有事慢慢讲，不要乱来 What's the problem?

你这死兔崽子，滚 You bastard

扮人扮鬼，扮… You played ghost,,,

扮得这么过瘾 You were having fun

你做什么，发神经呀 What are you doing?

发神经是你 You messed up

扮鬼扮马连我的箱位都搞乱 my wardrobe chest

你讲清楚一点 Of course

我怎么知道谁在搞乱你的箱位 I didn't

鬼呀 Ghost

我的鸟儿也说是你 My bird saw you played ghost

你们都是彼此彼此 You're both liars

佳哥，不要嘛 Chia, don't!

你们走开，我吃饭的家伙都敢动 Get away from me

是不是想打烂我的饭碗 You dared to mess up my chest

你们是那一位师父教出来的？ Shame on your teacher

什么事呀？ What's wrong?

你讲我什么都可以 Don't you dare

你骂我师父我就跟你拼命 criticizing my teacher

不要打了，不要打了 Hold it

打我？大牌都敢打 You dared to hit me?

放开我，放手，不要拉住我 Let go of me

不要拉住我，放手，放手呀 Let go of me

当然了，每天晚上到 外面去鬼混 You fooled around

怪不得脚软了 with women too much

不是，不像 Something's wrong

不像？ What?

佳哥，佳哥… Chia

阿贵，发生了什么事呀？ Kuei, what happened?

他怎么变成这个样子的？ What happened to him?

他…他… He...

到底什么事呀？ Well?

还看什么？快点扶他 Help him up

扶起他，扶起他 Help him up

佳哥，佳哥 Chia

你们走开 Leave me alone

我不要你们扶，你们看看 I don't need your help

怎么会这个样子的？ What's going on?

你问我我去问谁呀？ How do I know?

千军万马，万马千军 Behold my enemies

俺赵子龙，单枪匹马 I'm going

匹马单枪，杀出重围 to kill you all

俺赵云… I...

发神经呀 He's possessed

阿贵，快点去拿童子尿来，去呀 Get a baby here!

下来呀，干什么呀你？ Come down

我不只识唱戏，还会翻筋斗 I can do stunts

马有失蹄 Accident

看…看什么？ What are you looking at?

阿佳 Chia

有须的就是老头子 My father has a beard

还有你，你非常漂亮 You are so pretty

落花满天蔽月光 Falling petals shadow the moon

借一杯附荐凤台上 Solemn is my offering of wine

阿佳，阿佳 Chia

你们看什么？看什么？有什么好看？ What are you staring at?

我撞死他让你们没得看 I'll kill myself!

快拉住他，拉住他，你们快点拉住他 Grab him

为什么捉住我，放手，放手呀 Let go

捉住他，捉住他 Grab him

童子尿来了 The baby is here

不要捉住我，放手 Let go of me

很脏呀，不要… It's dirty

我顶不住了，我顶不住了，我走了 I can't stand that

搞什么鬼呀？ What's going on?

不要嘈了，只是撞了邪 He was possessed

他现在没事了，快些扶他进房里去 Help him to his room

阿贵，快点去找达叔回来 Kuei, go get Mr Sang

是 Yes

我的意见你认为怎么样？ What do you think?

好，不过要不要请和尚跟尼姑 Should we hire

回来超渡他一下 some exorcists?

和尚和尼姑是吃四方饭的 I don't think so

而我们做戏的是吃八方饭 Exorcists are bad for actors

照我的办法去做相信是没多大问题 I have another plan

好，你出主意今晚休息一晚 We'll cancel the show tonight

我马上去跟会主商量 I'll go arrange that

好 Good!

你们今天晚上依照我的办法去行事 Let me tell you what to do tonight

升堂 Court

达叔怎么会做出这种事 That's not like Uncle Sheng at all

当做戏不是可以了吗 He's a good actor too

铁面无私，尽解民间悬案 I represent justice

青天有眼，了断鬼域奇冤 Both on earth and in hell

王朝，马汉 Guards

在 Yes

镇定一点 Be cool

与老夫大声呐喊 Find out

老夫在此，有冤情者不论是人是鬼 If any ghost

速来伸诉 have any claims

遵命 Yes, sir

包大人在此不论是人是鬼，速来伸诉 Do any ghosts have any claims?

上台的时间到了 It's curtain time

不要这么胆子小嘛 Have some guts

我不是胆子小而是没有胆 I wish I could

可怒，生为人死为鬼此乃天理 Dead men turn into ghosts

既成鬼魅有冤不诉，反而到阳间作怪 But they shouldn't come back to earth

实在天理不容 That's not right

蒙圣上赐上方宝剑 I'm going

既可斩阳间刁民泼妇 to use my sword

更可杀地府的牛鬼蛇神，来人 To drive ghosts back to hell

上方宝剑侍候 Bring my sword

上方宝剑在此，小鬼速速前来 Ghosts, show yourselves

肃静 Be quiet

小鬼在此，向包大人叩头 Mr Justice

声音是有，怎么没有人呀？ Who's that?

你既然在此，还不与老夫现身 Show yourself

感谢包大人 Yes, sir

阖起眼睛 Close your eyes

有何冤情快些诉说 What's your problem?

回禀大人 I was slashed

小鬼生前被人乱刀斩死，尸分七段 to death

但杀死小鬼之仇家已经法网难逃 The murderer was caught

被处斩而死 and executed

这些都是三百年前的事了 These happened 300 years ago

既然如此，为何前来伸诉？ Then what's your problem?

禀大人，因为小鬼无人超度 But I've become

变成孤魂野鬼了 a wandering ghost

求大人把我尸骨收集齐全，另藏他方 Please collect my bones and bury them

让它安安乐乐，再投生做人 To make way for my reincarnation

听来言之有理，老夫如你所求 All right, I'll help you

感谢大人 Thank you

小鬼听着 Listen

今后不准你再到阳间滋扰众生 Don't come to earth again

如有食言，定斩不赦 Or I'll terminate you

小鬼感恩不尽，怎敢再到阳间闹事呀 I'm not an ungrateful ghost

谅你也不敢 That's good

大人都应承你了 Tell us

还不快把尸骨埋在哪里说出来 where your bones are

大人，就是埋在小鬼脚下 They are underneath the stage

但是戏台之下有两… But there are two,,,

两什么？ Two what?

你们太离谱了 Nobody told me

今天不开锣也不告诉我 the show was cancelled

干什么呀你们？穿起了戏服干什么？ Why are you in wardrobe?

阿佳 Chia

你不就是达叔吗？还扮包公干什么呀 Aren't you Uncle Sheng?

几十岁人还有这么大的戏瘾 You must be crazy about acting

阿佳，你听我说 Listen to me

说什么？ What?

你现在当正是包公喝我呀 Why are you

你发神经呀你 yelling at me?

你还穿了我件大蟒袍，你马上脱下来 You are wearing my wardrobe Take it off

不要嘈，别以为你是大牌 Don't be an

就目中无人 elegant bastard

兄弟不和被鬼戏弄 You were possessed

这样表明了你到了人憎鬼厌的地步 That shows ghosts dislike you

混账 Nonsense

混账的是你 Not at all

你今天冤鬼上身头撞向墙伤了自己 You were possessed today

而弟兄们于心不忍 We all felt sorry

所以不避吉不避凶 for you

为了你，他们跟我一齐扮包公审鬼 So we decided to tame the ghost

希望能够替你消灾解难 So that you can be saved

你反而是非不分，以怨报德 You're such an ungrateful person

你今天早上就被那只鬼上身 The ghost made a fool of you today

还有你的衣箱位都是给那只鬼搞乱的 He also messed up your chest

你说说看，我跟了你这么久 You've known me

有没有跟你开过玩笑？ Iong enough

有没有做过那不中用的事 Have I ever lied?

达叔，对不起 Forgive me, Uncle Sheng

阿佳，你明白就好了 I'm glad you understand

达叔，现在我们该怎么办？ What should we do now?

那只鬼说他的骨在棚底 The ghost's bones are right underneath

好，我们马上去掘 Let's start digging

喂，喂，你过来看看 Come over here

什么？ What's up?

那些骨就在这里，小心点掘呀 The bones are here, be careful

不要掘破呀，小心呀 Be easy with the bones

达叔，那些骨全部掘出来了 We've had found all the bones

找个风水好的地方埋藏起来 Bury them in a nice place

是 Yes

潮州大兄，你副骨头我们替你埋好了 We've buried your bones

以后你就用不着做孤魂野鬼了 You won't be wandering anymore

保佑我们戏班场场爆满，财源广进 Bless us and our show

潮州大兄，我今天天亮起来 I've brought you

跟爱姐做鱼蛋来孝敬你 some food

是呀，希望你喜欢 I hope you'll like it

他是潮州人当然喜欢吃鱼蛋的 I'm sure he'll like it

先上炷香 Offer some incense

你看，他死了老爹也没有这么神心 He looks very sincere

当然，他是怕潮州大兄再来缠着他 He's afraid of being possessed again

缠起来那怕你多烧点冥钱也会缠着你 Ghosts don't give up that easily

潮州大兄，希望你有机会 Good luck

早日投胎从新做人 to your reincarnation

机会是自己制造的 You can help him

快点娶个老婆 Let him reincarnate

叫潮州大兄做他的儿子不就行了吗？ as your son

阿标，讲话不要太过份 Don't be nasty, Piao

佳哥，让我来帮你烧几张 Let me help you, Chia

潮州大兄有怪莫怪 Dear ghost

其实佳哥是很好的，又肯教人 Chia is a very good teacher

你喜欢学戏的话，有空上来跟他学学 You should come study with him

好了好了，大家拜完了，我们回去吧 All right, let's go home

走 Come on

阿贵，真是不好意思 I want to apologize

以前的事希望你不要放在心里 for my past behavior

不会的，我都忘记得一干二净了 Let bygone be bygone

喂喂，他想跟我们在一起 He wants to be our friend

怎么会呀 He won't offer

难道他会跟我们握手吗，走吧 to shake our hands

阿光，真不好意思，以前是我不对 I was wrong before

对不起 I'm sorry

没事了吧？ All right?

不好意思 Thank you

佳哥，拿着 Hold this, Chia

走吧 Let's go

改天我请你们吃饭 I'll buy you dinner

用不着客气了 Don't go overboard

快点 Hurry

这么大的场面 Such a big occasion

大家这么辛苦吃顿便饭嘛，请先用茶 Thank you for all your help

菜洗好了没有？ Are the vegetables ready?

好了，好了 Yes

丽姐，想不到你对厨房工作 I didn't know

也这么能干 you're a good cook

快点干活吧，不然就来不及了 Get on with the work

把碟子拿去洗干净 Wash the dishes

好 Yes

你撞见鬼呀？ Are you nuts?

是你碰撞我嘛 You hit me

丽姐，有什么工作要我帮忙的呀？ Can I be of any help?

阿贵，今天真是希奇了 That's strange, Kuei

堂堂一个大牌 A star helping out

居然肯到厨房来帮忙 in the kitchen

丽姐，不要取笑我了 Stop teasing me

帮我栛了这只甲鱼 Help me to kill this thing

这东西呀？ This?

是呀 Right

别动 Don't move

你拿住宂它出来，我来按住它 Hold it, I'll pluck it out

又决又按，决住什么地方？ Where should I hold it?

决这里，我按住 Right here

佳哥，丽姐按水鱼很有本领 She's very good at it

按你的头，宂它出来呀 Pluck it out

出来了 That's it

拿刀斩它 Chop it off

丽姐，一斩下去就一颈血了 That would be very bloody

斩水鱼当然是颈血了，丽姐对吗？ That's the only way to do it

走开，斩 Chop it off

真的要斩呀 For real?

斩呀 Do it

大哥，请上座 Please sit down

各位，现在请坐好 Make yourselves at home

请随便坐呀 Enjoy the meal

达叔，干杯 Cheers

各位请静一静 Attention please

各位兄弟姐妹，今天晚上不用开锣 We're not working tonight

大家尽管多喝几杯，醉了也没关系 So don't worry about getting drunk

达叔，多来一点好吗？ Have some more

我够了够了 No, thanks

达叔，这条鱼很新鲜的呀 This fish smells delicious

这条鱼很鲜美呀 It is delicious

怎么不见阿丽呀？ Where's our leading lady

她在厨房盛水鱼汤 She's preparing the soup

达叔，我敬你一杯 Cheers, Uncle Sheng

对了，这次全靠达叔扮包公才没事的 Thanks to Uncle Sheng the exorcist

你也有帮手呀 You helped out too

佳哥，现在你没事了 You can relax

你知不知道你被鬼上身是怎么样子的 Do you know what you looked like?

我真的不知道 No, I don't!

让我学给你看 I'll show you

看着，是这样的 You were like this

像不像呀？还有… How am I doing?

看他这副德性，快点来吃东西呀 Knock it off, come and eat

还不过来 Come back

怎么会这样的？ What happened?

阿标，你学我也用不着这么认真呀 Don't tire yourself

吃鱼呀 Have some fish

搞到台子都在震动，坐下 Don't shake the table

弄伤了筋是吗？我帮你夹好了 Do you need some help?

死人呀 He's dead

死了人呀 He's dead

静一静 Calm down

大家静一静 Calm down

散开 Spread out

走开呀 Run!

达叔，达叔，你没事吧？ Are you all right?

我没事 I'm fine

大家散开，快点散开，散开… Spread out quickly

快点走 Run!

达叔，达叔，走开呀 Run, Uncle Sheng

快救人呀 Hurry, run

你这个恶鬼 You stupid ghost

不要呀，不要呀 Don't

阿贵呢？ Where's Kuei?

无情鬼… Bad ghost

力气小一点呀 Easy

忍耐一下 Hang on

我的脚 My leg

阿贵，刚才你去了哪儿？ Where did you go?

我去把那鬼的骨掘出来 I smashed every bone

逐件逐件打烂它 of that ghost's

为什么你要这样？ Why did you do that?

为什么你不去问问那只鬼恩将仇报 He's ungrateful

把我们弟兄搞成这样？ and he almost killed us

你还说鬼有鬼性 You were nice to him

达叔，原来鬼性就是 But obviously

忘恩负义，以怨报德 he's a bad ghost

照理他不会这样对付我们 I don't think he did it

难道是我们冤枉了他？ Who else?

你这衰鬼有胆子的话就现形出来 Show yourself if you have guts

我要把你打下十八层地狱永不超生 I want to drive you to hell

走开 Move over

你的骨是我拆的，怎么样？ I smashed your bones So?

你是只衰鬼，臭鬼… You're a bad ghost

忘恩负义鬼 You're ungrateful

喂，冷静一点呀 Calm down

你们说我什么都可以 I'm not

说我忘恩负义鬼就不行 an ungrateful ghost

我这一世人，不 I resent that

这一世鬼最憎人说我没义气 very much

你根本就没义气 But you are ungrateful

贵哥，你们根本就没有 You didn't

把我的骨头掘出来 dig my bones out

你这人说话都不理一切 You really are unreasonable

不是你的骨难道是我的骨吗？ Whose bones were those then?

我来问你 You begged us

那天晚上我们扮包公来审你 to bury your bones

对呀 That's right

是你告诉我们你副骨是在戏台底下 Your bones were beneath the stage

照理就对，可惜戏台下有两副骨 But there were two sets of bones

两副骨？ Two sets?

是呀 Right

那么要不要上香拜祭它？ We dug out the wrong set

拜祭都没用的，它还会再来找你们的 That's why he's mad at you

什么？还要再来搞我们？ Will he come again?

不是搞是要你的命 Yes, to kill you

害得我们这么惨了还不够吗？ He's brought hell to us already

本来就没事，但阿贵拆散了人家的骨 But Kuei smashed

还被狗咬走了一块 his bones

使人家尸骨不全 He has to come

当然就要跟你搏命了 for revenge

那我们该怎么办？ What can we do?

我不知道，你们自己想办法吧 I don't know

天一黑它就要来了 He'll come tonight

光天化日我亦不能久留，我走了 I've to run

你们想办法吧 Good luck

不要走呀 Don't leave us

都是我不好，达叔，我们走吧 It's all my fault

走也走不掉的 It's fate

那我们怎么办？ What should we do?

来 Come

马上准备一大桶黑狗血和几捆绳索 Get some dog blood and nets

把绳索用黑狗血染红 Stain the nets with the blood

织成大网挂在戏棚的四面 Spread the nets around the theatre

然后将黑狗血洒遍戏棚地板 Then splash the floor

等恶鬼到来 with dog blood

当那只恶鬼给网网住 When the ghost

立刻把棚顶打开 falls into a net

阳光照着恶鬼，那它就劫数难逃了 Open up the roof and let sunlight in

我们扮钟馗捉鬼 We'll play exorcists

狗血网？ Blood nets?

钟馗？ An exorcist

怕了 Scared?

把酒拿来 Bring the wine

用狗血淋他 Splash him with blood

包围他 Attack him

你往那里走？ You're dead

网他 Nets

把黑狗血拿来 Bring the dog blood

糟了，着火了，还站着干什么？ Don't just stand there

快些把它弄熄 Put it out

达叔 Uncle Sheng

小心呀 Be careful

达叔，你怎么样了？ Are you all right?

多谢祖师爷显灵 Thanks to our guardian angel