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1
00:00:02,161 --> 00:00:04,204
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:33,358
Well, Michelle, we did it.
Happy graduation.
3
00:00:39,323 --> 00:00:42,409
You know,
living at my parents' house,
4
00:00:42,701 --> 00:00:45,703
that's a temporary thing.
5
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:49,582
We've been going out for,
what, three years.
6
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:52,293
You're not,
like, getting bored
with things, are you?
7
00:00:52,378 --> 00:00:54,546
Michelle, I'm gonna
ask you something
8
00:00:54,672 --> 00:00:56,840
that I've never
asked you before.
9
00:00:57,007 --> 00:00:58,133
Is it kinky?
10
00:00:58,217 --> 00:00:59,843
I don't think so. No.
11
00:01:00,010 --> 00:01:01,594
You don't have
to be embarrassed
12
00:01:01,679 --> 00:01:05,140
if you wanna
add more spiciness
to our relationship.
13
00:01:06,517 --> 00:01:07,892
Actually,
14
00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:11,312
maybe you could just,
you know,
15
00:01:12,356 --> 00:01:13,481
use your napkin.
16
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:14,732
My napkin?
17
00:01:16,152 --> 00:01:18,027
MAN: Mr. Levenstein?
Yes.
18
00:01:18,154 --> 00:01:19,612
You have a phone call.
Excuse me.
19
00:01:19,738 --> 00:01:21,239
Thank you.
20
00:01:22,199 --> 00:01:23,825
Hello?
Jim, it's Dad.
21
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:25,618
You left the ring at home.
22
00:01:25,703 --> 00:01:28,580
The box is empty.
But I'm on my way,
23
00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:33,126
and I've got the ring,
so don't panic, Son.
Okay? Bye.
24
00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:34,419
(PHONE BEEPS OFF)
25
00:01:34,545 --> 00:01:36,045
Who was that?
26
00:01:37,256 --> 00:01:38,381
Uh...
27
00:01:39,091 --> 00:01:41,384
That was my dad.
That was my dad.
28
00:01:41,886 --> 00:01:44,721
He couldn't get through on...
I didn't answer my cell,
29
00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:48,141
so he was
getting all worried.
You know how he is.
30
00:01:48,225 --> 00:01:52,395
(STUTTERING)
But everything is okay now.
Everything is perfectly fine.
31
00:01:52,897 --> 00:01:55,732
I think I know what
you're gonna ask me.
32
00:01:57,401 --> 00:02:00,570
That's okay. I don't
have to use my napkin.
33
00:02:01,071 --> 00:02:02,363
What?
34
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:03,781
I've got my own techniques.
35
00:02:07,745 --> 00:02:10,205
Michelle, where you going?
Michelle?
36
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,499
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
37
00:02:12,583 --> 00:02:13,875
Okay.
(BELT UNBUCKLES)
38
00:02:14,418 --> 00:02:15,668
(GROANS)
39
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,587
Michelle. Okay.
40
00:02:18,255 --> 00:02:21,424
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Michelle.
41
00:02:21,634 --> 00:02:22,634
Psst!
42
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,054
I think you need to stop.
Okay, keep going.
43
00:02:26,138 --> 00:02:27,472
(SHUDDERS)
44
00:02:28,098 --> 00:02:30,016
Oh, my God. Michelle?
45
00:02:30,392 --> 00:02:33,811
Michelle...
46
00:02:33,938 --> 00:02:35,146
(MUMBLES)
47
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:36,981
Oh, my God.
48
00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:38,191
Okay.
49
00:02:38,317 --> 00:02:39,359
Well, I made it.
50
00:02:39,568 --> 00:02:41,277
Where's Michelle? Washroom?
51
00:02:41,403 --> 00:02:43,696
I was so nervous
she was gonna spot me.
52
00:02:43,781 --> 00:02:45,532
Here's the ring, Son.
Oh!
53
00:02:45,616 --> 00:02:48,284
Let me tell you something.
This is some ring.
54
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:51,287
Look at the rock
on this baby,
Mr. Big Spender.
55
00:02:51,413 --> 00:02:53,206
I hope you
didn't blow your wad
on this, Son.
56
00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:54,457
Not yet.
57
00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:58,461
Your mother and I
could not be more thrilled
for you, Jim.
58
00:02:58,587 --> 00:02:59,796
I mean, we're so happy.
59
00:02:59,922 --> 00:03:02,215
And I know you're excited,
I can see it in your face.
60
00:03:02,299 --> 00:03:04,634
I mean, you look like
you're ready to burst.
61
00:03:04,927 --> 00:03:06,386
I mean, your cheeks,
they're flush.
62
00:03:06,512 --> 00:03:07,971
I wish your mother
could be here.
63
00:03:08,097 --> 00:03:09,389
Not me.
That's what I wish.
64
00:03:09,473 --> 00:03:12,976
You know, this is one
of those moments, Jim,
65
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,979
that you're gonna remember
for the rest of your life.
66
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:17,313
Yes, it is.
67
00:03:17,481 --> 00:03:20,900
You bet it is.
68
00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:23,861
I cannot believe my son
is gonna pop the question.
69
00:03:23,946 --> 00:03:24,946
(THUD)
70
00:03:25,155 --> 00:03:26,155
What was that?
71
00:03:26,282 --> 00:03:27,323
That?
72
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:33,997
Knocking on wood.
What is this...
Popping what? What question?
73
00:03:34,123 --> 00:03:35,123
You're a wreck.
74
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,249
What?
75
00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:39,919
You need some air.
You need some air.
Okay, walk me to my car.
76
00:03:40,004 --> 00:03:41,129
No, I'm not walking...
77
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,422
Listen to me!
It's for your good.
78
00:03:42,506 --> 00:03:43,590
(ALL GASPING)
79
00:03:43,674 --> 00:03:44,757
Dad.
80
00:03:44,842 --> 00:03:46,509
Oh! Son!
My pants!
81
00:03:46,635 --> 00:03:48,052
Your penis!
82
00:03:48,178 --> 00:03:49,596
I got my pants, Dad!
83
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:50,930
What the hell...
84
00:03:51,015 --> 00:03:52,098
(GASPING)
85
00:03:52,182 --> 00:03:53,391
Jeez! God, Dad.
86
00:03:53,517 --> 00:03:54,767
Wear your pants.
87
00:03:54,852 --> 00:03:56,769
I got the pants!
What are you doing?
88
00:03:56,854 --> 00:03:58,062
He had abdominal cramps...
89
00:03:58,188 --> 00:03:59,439
I can explain all this.
90
00:03:59,523 --> 00:04:01,190
Everybody calm
down here, quiet!
91
00:04:01,317 --> 00:04:03,026
Lower your voice.
92
00:04:04,862 --> 00:04:06,321
Disgusting.
93
00:04:10,868 --> 00:04:12,160
Now,
94
00:04:13,329 --> 00:04:15,705
I came here to do something,
95
00:04:16,248 --> 00:04:19,167
(SIGHS) and damn it,
I'm gonna do it.
96
00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:25,673
Michelle?
97
00:04:26,884 --> 00:04:28,384
(CROWD GASPING)
98
00:04:29,678 --> 00:04:31,095
Hello, dear.
99
00:04:34,266 --> 00:04:36,559
Michelle Annabeth Flaherty,
100
00:04:37,394 --> 00:04:38,936
I love you
101
00:04:40,439 --> 00:04:45,360
more than I could
ever explain
at this particular moment.
102
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,200
Dad, the ring.
103
00:04:53,744 --> 00:04:54,744
Oh.
104
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,417
Will you marry me?
105
00:05:02,044 --> 00:05:03,086
Yes.
106
00:05:14,390 --> 00:05:15,723
My son.
107
00:05:27,611 --> 00:05:29,737
I'm the happiest
man in the world.
108
00:05:29,822 --> 00:05:32,448
(CROWD GASPING)
109
00:05:34,576 --> 00:05:35,868
We should all be so happy.
110
00:05:37,246 --> 00:05:38,996
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
111
00:06:09,027 --> 00:06:11,571
Cheers. Gentlemen.
Sweetheart.
112
00:06:13,991 --> 00:06:15,533
I'm impressed.
113
00:06:15,993 --> 00:06:18,035
Marriage is a binding,
114
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,080
unifying, eternal,
115
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:27,253
never-ending,
permanent chaining
together of two people.
116
00:06:29,965 --> 00:06:31,215
Jim, have you
thought this through?
117
00:06:31,341 --> 00:06:32,633
Yes.
118
00:06:32,718 --> 00:06:36,721
Finch, thank you.
I had been trying to
figure it out for a while.
119
00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:39,640
You know,
when is the right time?
Is there a right time?
120
00:06:39,725 --> 00:06:43,686
Then finally I realized,
"Duh, you love the girl.
Marry her."
121
00:06:43,979 --> 00:06:44,979
Aw.
122
00:06:45,063 --> 00:06:46,147
(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON JUKEBOX)
123
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:48,774
Oh! Let's dance.
124
00:06:48,859 --> 00:06:50,359
Dance? No.
125
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:53,279
No, you have
to learn sometime.
Come on.
126
00:06:57,659 --> 00:06:59,410
Don't laugh at me.
127
00:07:01,163 --> 00:07:02,830
Yeah, okay.
128
00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:05,082
Just glad that's not me.
129
00:07:05,209 --> 00:07:06,667
Finch,
130
00:07:07,336 --> 00:07:08,920
you don't think
there's one girl
131
00:07:09,004 --> 00:07:11,422
you're destined
to spend your
entire life with?
132
00:07:12,508 --> 00:07:14,634
They're all for me, Kevin.
133
00:07:15,052 --> 00:07:18,221
Not so bad? All right.
134
00:07:18,889 --> 00:07:20,181
Do this.
(GROANS)
135
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:22,725
I'm sorry.
136
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,645
The wedding should be
rather entertaining.
137
00:07:29,566 --> 00:07:31,776
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
138
00:07:37,908 --> 00:07:40,034
Bro, that's it?
139
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,079
There's no keg anywhere.
140
00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:46,290
Jim.
Hey, John.
141
00:07:47,042 --> 00:07:49,794
The food and
the drink are really bad.
142
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:53,005
"F" for presentation.
The good news for you...
143
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,215
What's that?
144
00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:56,926
We're gonna be
ushers at the wedding.
145
00:07:58,762 --> 00:07:59,762
(SIGHS)
146
00:08:00,222 --> 00:08:03,432
This is amazing.
I don't recognize half
the people in this place.
147
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,517
(DOORBELL RINGS)
148
00:08:04,601 --> 00:08:06,227
At least they
all brought gifts.
149
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:07,520
Hello.
150
00:08:07,646 --> 00:08:08,896
Hello. I'm Mary Flaherty.
151
00:08:08,981 --> 00:08:10,189
Oh! Hello!
152
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:11,566
Harold Flaherty.
153
00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:13,234
Hi.
How lovely to meet you.
154
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,903
Please come in.
We've been expecting you.
155
00:08:15,988 --> 00:08:17,113
How was your trip?
156
00:08:17,239 --> 00:08:18,364
Delightful.
157
00:08:18,448 --> 00:08:20,533
Who's excited
about the wedding?
158
00:08:20,659 --> 00:08:22,743
Anxious might
be more accurate.
159
00:08:22,995 --> 00:08:25,121
We've never met your son.
160
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,831
You'll get to meet him.
161
00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:28,958
Rudy and Sam would
like to meet him, too.
162
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,084
Better bring them
in from the car.
163
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,252
They've been
cooped up for hours.
164
00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:33,170
For heaven's sake.
You brought your sons?
165
00:08:33,255 --> 00:08:34,338
Our dogs.
166
00:08:34,464 --> 00:08:35,590
We never travel without them.
167
00:08:35,674 --> 00:08:36,757
Oh, my goodness.
168
00:08:36,842 --> 00:08:40,177
Well, honey, why don't
you go get those
critters out of the car
169
00:08:40,262 --> 00:08:41,387
and we'll start
on some cocktails.
170
00:08:41,513 --> 00:08:42,638
Thank you.
171
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,140
I'd love one.
Long trip?
172
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,725
I'll get the dogs.
173
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,103
There's one thing
that'll make this
wedding perfect.
174
00:08:49,438 --> 00:08:50,855
No Stifler.
175
00:08:50,939 --> 00:08:53,566
That's one dick
we are not inviting.
176
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:54,942
Motion seconded.
177
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,319
Motion carried.
178
00:08:57,154 --> 00:09:00,865
So, Finch,
what are you gonna do with
that fancy NYU diploma?
179
00:09:00,949 --> 00:09:02,533
I'll frame it.
180
00:09:03,327 --> 00:09:04,994
Then I'll write my memoirs.
181
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,871
You should come
to law school, man.
182
00:09:06,997 --> 00:09:08,831
You know I could
use the company.
183
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:11,917
Kids,
Michelle's parents are here.
Come on, we're waiting.
184
00:09:12,002 --> 00:09:14,045
Oh, crumbs on the shirt.
That's bad.
185
00:09:14,171 --> 00:09:16,213
Okay, that's fine.
I'll change. I'll change.
186
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:20,718
Fuckers!
187
00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:34,440
Well, polish my nuts
and serve me a milkshake.
188
00:09:40,697 --> 00:09:42,156
What's up?
189
00:09:45,702 --> 00:09:47,203
That's right.
190
00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:53,876
Oh! Cake?
Hope it's good.
191
00:09:56,672 --> 00:09:57,963
Oh, gee.
192
00:09:58,048 --> 00:10:01,175
Thanks for inviting me
to the graduation party,
fucker.
193
00:10:01,510 --> 00:10:02,718
(SCOFFS)
194
00:10:06,515 --> 00:10:10,643
Oh! Fucking right, doggy.
That's good cake! Holy shit!
195
00:10:11,395 --> 00:10:12,645
Hi. How are you?
Congratulations.
196
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,480
Hey...
197
00:10:15,232 --> 00:10:16,565
(GIGGLES)
198
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,735
"Congratulation, Jism!"
199
00:10:20,195 --> 00:10:22,238
Excuse me. Stifler?
200
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,823
Hey, Jim!
201
00:10:23,949 --> 00:10:25,157
Stifler,
what are you doing here?
202
00:10:25,242 --> 00:10:26,200
Okay, man...
203
00:10:26,284 --> 00:10:27,326
Happy fuckday, assmouth!
204
00:10:27,411 --> 00:10:28,452
Put the cake down.
205
00:10:28,537 --> 00:10:29,578
Check it out.
I made it all by myself.
206
00:10:29,705 --> 00:10:31,163
Cute.
What happened to my invite?
207
00:10:31,248 --> 00:10:32,415
Got lost in the mail,
fuckface?
208
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:33,499
Quiet!
209
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:36,168
Bite yourself.
That's what I thought.
210
00:10:36,253 --> 00:10:37,420
I think I can
spell "Cajun Rectum."
211
00:10:37,546 --> 00:10:38,754
Seriously, man.
212
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,005
Oh, Jesus.
213
00:10:40,132 --> 00:10:41,340
Damn it, Stifler.
214
00:10:41,425 --> 00:10:42,466
Jim, look what you did!
215
00:10:42,592 --> 00:10:43,676
Look what I did?
216
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,429
Look at this shit!
What am I supposed to do now?
217
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,265
Are you happy now, man?
Why are you here?
218
00:10:49,391 --> 00:10:50,599
My dick looks like
a corn dog.
219
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,101
I got cake
all over my balls.
220
00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:53,769
JIM'S MOM: Jim, honey?
221
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:54,854
Shit.
222
00:10:54,938 --> 00:10:56,397
The Flahertys are waiting.
223
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,023
Do you think
he's upstairs, honey?
224
00:10:58,108 --> 00:10:59,442
Oh, you're fucked now, Jim.
225
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,152
(STIFLER CACKLES)
226
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:02,820
(GROWLING)
227
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,071
(BARKING)
228
00:11:06,783 --> 00:11:07,992
Stifler, get up.
229
00:11:08,118 --> 00:11:09,368
This dog's great!
230
00:11:09,453 --> 00:11:11,120
Is it weird
that it feels good?
231
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,204
(LAUGHING)
232
00:11:12,289 --> 00:11:13,706
All right...
233
00:11:14,416 --> 00:11:15,666
What about the dining room?
234
00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:17,042
I know you'll just love him.
235
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,753
Jesus, Stifler.
236
00:11:20,297 --> 00:11:21,589
Stop enjoying it so much.
237
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,048
Lick it up!
238
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:29,138
You little shit.
Take your pants off, man.
239
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,181
(GASPING)
(SCREAMING)
240
00:11:30,265 --> 00:11:32,975
Good Lord!
241
00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,393
Oh, God!
Jim?
242
00:11:34,478 --> 00:11:36,020
No, it's not
what it looks like.
243
00:11:36,146 --> 00:11:37,730
What are you doing, Son?
244
00:11:37,814 --> 00:11:39,607
My dogs!
Don't go in there, darling!
245
00:11:39,691 --> 00:11:40,900
Lord knows what
they'll do to you!
246
00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:42,234
I love this dog!
247
00:11:42,319 --> 00:11:43,903
I was trying to
get him off, Dad.
248
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,654
That is your son?
249
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,698
Back away from the animal.
250
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:49,784
Mr. And Mrs. Flaherty,
I presume.
251
00:11:49,868 --> 00:11:51,410
STIFLER: Where are you going?
252
00:11:52,704 --> 00:11:55,164
Well, lunch is served.
253
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:58,584
I really hope (STUTTERING)
254
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:03,589
That we can all
just forget about this,
and move on, and start again.
255
00:12:04,007 --> 00:12:05,299
Start again fresh.
256
00:12:05,383 --> 00:12:08,177
Jim, if you hope to be
the provider and protector
257
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,346
for our firstborn daughter,
258
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:11,889
you have a long way to go.
259
00:12:12,015 --> 00:12:13,474
Thank you, sir.
260
00:12:14,017 --> 00:12:15,851
They think
you're an angel
261
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:19,230
and I'm just some
ungrateful dog rapist.
262
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:23,317
They just think they raised
the proper little band girl.
263
00:12:23,485 --> 00:12:25,820
And, besides, sometimes
264
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,697
it's nice to be
more traditional.
265
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,699
How so? How do
you mean traditional?
266
00:12:30,826 --> 00:12:33,202
I'm thinking
about the wedding.
267
00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:36,121
How it's just this one day,
268
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:40,459
one day where
everyone's eyes are
on me for a change.
269
00:12:40,544 --> 00:12:42,795
I've just never
walked into a room
270
00:12:42,879 --> 00:12:46,131
and had everyone go,
"Ooh" and "Ah"
271
00:12:46,758 --> 00:12:48,551
and "Isn't she elegant?"
272
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:52,179
That is exactly
how our wedding
is going to be.
273
00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:53,973
I promise.
274
00:12:56,601 --> 00:13:00,479
Shit. I got a frosted
ass crack. Hey, Finch?
275
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:03,065
You want this
for here or to go?
276
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:06,652
"A witty saying
proves nothing." Voltaire.
277
00:13:07,112 --> 00:13:09,280
"Suck my dick." Ron Jeremy.
278
00:13:10,407 --> 00:13:12,741
Boys, anybody seen
the bride's parents?
279
00:13:13,702 --> 00:13:14,743
No? Hmm.
280
00:13:16,746 --> 00:13:17,955
Wait a second.
281
00:13:18,081 --> 00:13:19,331
Come on, Stifler.
282
00:13:19,416 --> 00:13:20,416
This isn't
a graduation party.
283
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,542
It's time to go.
284
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:25,129
Wait, hold on!
Jim's getting married,
isn't he?
285
00:13:25,547 --> 00:13:27,756
Holy fucking shit!
This is major!
286
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,925
Do you have the slightest idea
how important this is?
287
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,970
We get to have
a bachelor party. Yes!
288
00:13:33,054 --> 00:13:35,973
We celebrate the death of Jim
with a party in his honor.
289
00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:37,892
Chicks and boobs.
Tits and ass.
290
00:13:37,976 --> 00:13:39,810
Titties, ta-tas,
casabas, bazoongas,
291
00:13:39,895 --> 00:13:41,645
all up in our frigging faces!
292
00:13:41,730 --> 00:13:43,814
Come on, buck up, fellows!
Show some enthusiasm!
293
00:13:44,399 --> 00:13:47,067
It's gonna be fucking great!
Oh, my God!
294
00:13:49,404 --> 00:13:51,030
Finch,
he does make a good point.
295
00:13:51,156 --> 00:13:52,781
Yeah, he does.
296
00:13:56,745 --> 00:13:58,996
You never heard me say that.
297
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:02,124
I do not deserve
a girl this cool.
298
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,668
Michelle said the wedding
was doable, right?
299
00:14:04,753 --> 00:14:06,754
A wedding. A wedding, yeah.
300
00:14:06,838 --> 00:14:10,758
I promised her her wedding.
You know, the wedding
of her dreams.
301
00:14:10,842 --> 00:14:12,051
Okay, what's the problem?
302
00:14:12,177 --> 00:14:13,427
Dancing.
303
00:14:13,511 --> 00:14:16,347
She's gonna want to dance.
There's that whole tradition.
304
00:14:16,431 --> 00:14:17,973
The first dance
at the reception.
305
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,434
She is gonna wanna dance
Fred Astaire kind of shit.
306
00:14:20,518 --> 00:14:21,644
I can't do that.
307
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,063
She learned all
that from band camp.
308
00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:26,940
Okay, so you take lessons,
you know. Right away.
309
00:14:27,025 --> 00:14:29,068
Lessons. Okay.
I have to convince
310
00:14:29,194 --> 00:14:31,236
her parents that
I'm not a shithead.
311
00:14:31,780 --> 00:14:32,780
Yeah, challenging.
312
00:14:32,864 --> 00:14:33,864
Indeed challenging.
313
00:14:33,948 --> 00:14:35,866
But doable. What else?
314
00:14:36,326 --> 00:14:38,786
What else?
I don't know what else.
That's the thing.
315
00:14:38,870 --> 00:14:40,704
She cares
too much to tell me.
316
00:14:40,789 --> 00:14:43,540
She doesn't want me to worry
that she might be worried.
317
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:44,875
So I'm worried.
318
00:14:45,001 --> 00:14:46,293
Recon.
319
00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:51,840
You mean, like,
spying on Michelle?
320
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,218
Spying is deceitful.
321
00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:58,597
Extra attention
means you're concerned.
322
00:14:58,682 --> 00:15:00,099
This is true.
This is good.
323
00:15:00,225 --> 00:15:01,684
Guys,
324
00:15:02,185 --> 00:15:03,394
here's to the next step.
325
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,770
Shut up with that stepping.
326
00:15:04,854 --> 00:15:06,230
Put your glass down.
327
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:08,691
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
328
00:15:29,713 --> 00:15:31,130
(INAUDIBLE)
329
00:15:37,262 --> 00:15:39,888
We'll find a wonderful one
somewhere, I promise.
330
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:41,765
We'll keep looking.
331
00:15:45,186 --> 00:15:48,105
Is everything okay here?
The study can get a little
chilly sometimes.
332
00:15:48,189 --> 00:15:49,231
You have enough blankets?
333
00:15:49,399 --> 00:15:50,482
We're fine. Thank you.
334
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:52,568
I was kind of hoping
335
00:15:53,236 --> 00:15:56,447
that someday soon,
we could have a little talk.
336
00:15:56,865 --> 00:15:58,532
I'd really like to tell you
337
00:15:58,616 --> 00:16:01,285
why I think I'll make
a good husband,
338
00:16:01,536 --> 00:16:02,911
whenever you get a chance.
339
00:16:03,037 --> 00:16:04,413
Oh! Why is that?
340
00:16:04,706 --> 00:16:05,998
Come on.
(DOG BARKS)
341
00:16:09,252 --> 00:16:12,546
See, I was saying
that soon we could talk.
342
00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:16,341
(STUTTERING)
This right now is sort
of the preliminary talk
343
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:20,471
before the future
longer talk,
344
00:16:20,555 --> 00:16:23,307
which would be like a quiet,
345
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:25,350
a private dinner talk.
346
00:16:25,435 --> 00:16:26,435
(YIPPING)
347
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,103
Let him finish.
348
00:16:28,229 --> 00:16:29,313
(DOG PANTING)
349
00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:30,439
(DOG YIPPING)
350
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,691
I'm talking to you.
(MRS. FLAHERTY SHUSHING)
351
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:34,568
Okay.
352
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,156
Good talking to you.
353
00:16:43,161 --> 00:16:45,704
No. These aren't gonna work.
354
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,208
Wow!
355
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:53,796
You guys in
a sporting goods store.
Very good.
356
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:55,714
Hey, Finch,
357
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,884
I think they got your size.
358
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:00,260
Oh, beautiful.
359
00:17:00,345 --> 00:17:02,471
Jim needs to learn to
dance for his wedding.
360
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,807
You know,
I think he's screwed.
361
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,518
Of course he's screwed.
He's getting married.
362
00:17:07,602 --> 00:17:10,145
I can't wait to
see this disaster.
363
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,106
What makes you think
you're invited?
364
00:17:15,985 --> 00:17:17,361
(SLURPING)
365
00:17:19,322 --> 00:17:22,324
I already called up
Jim's mom. Got the info.
366
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,618
I'm preparing for
the festivities.
367
00:17:24,702 --> 00:17:28,455
It's time for me to boom-boom
with the bridesmaids,
Finchfucker.
368
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:31,500
'Cause I'm gonna hang out
with my wang out.
369
00:17:33,378 --> 00:17:36,171
And I'm gonna rock out
with my cock out!
370
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,924
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
371
00:17:39,008 --> 00:17:40,050
(LAUGHS)
372
00:17:40,218 --> 00:17:41,844
JIM: All right, Stifler.
373
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:44,847
This is a little
difficult to explain.
374
00:17:45,723 --> 00:17:49,059
Look, you're okay.
You're okay.
375
00:17:49,143 --> 00:17:50,310
I mean, I like you.
376
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:51,603
Yeah, great.
377
00:17:51,688 --> 00:17:55,023
You can blow me
after practice.
I'm working, dude.
378
00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:56,817
(YELLING)
379
00:17:57,235 --> 00:17:58,610
Come on! Work it! Hustle!
380
00:17:58,736 --> 00:18:00,112
See, my mom
didn't know that...
381
00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:01,697
Push it! Move it! Come on!
382
00:18:01,823 --> 00:18:03,282
There was a misunderstanding.
383
00:18:03,366 --> 00:18:04,408
You're not invited!
384
00:18:04,534 --> 00:18:05,617
Hold!
385
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,082
Dude, how the hell
do you even think
you're getting married?
386
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:15,002
I've been looking out
for your sex life
since high school.
387
00:18:15,086 --> 00:18:16,879
You what?
Oh! Oh!
388
00:18:18,214 --> 00:18:19,464
(LAUGHS)
389
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:24,595
The first tits
this guy ever saw
were because of me!
390
00:18:24,846 --> 00:18:27,139
The first girl
he ever hooked up with
391
00:18:27,223 --> 00:18:29,975
was at my party,
at my cottage!
392
00:18:30,268 --> 00:18:32,394
That girl's
the girl he's marrying.
393
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,605
The Stiffman
showed him the way.
394
00:18:35,189 --> 00:18:36,940
Can I get a hallelujah?
395
00:18:37,066 --> 00:18:38,859
Hallelujah, Stifler!
396
00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:40,819
But, my fuckers,
397
00:18:40,904 --> 00:18:43,989
this mofo right here
does not want
the Stifmeister,
398
00:18:44,073 --> 00:18:46,783
the Grand fucking Facilitator
to attend the wedding.
399
00:18:46,868 --> 00:18:48,452
Who sucks donkey dick?
400
00:18:48,578 --> 00:18:50,245
Jim sucks donkey dick!
401
00:18:50,538 --> 00:18:53,290
The answer's no, okay?
I'm sorry.
402
00:18:53,374 --> 00:18:54,374
The answer's no.
403
00:18:54,459 --> 00:18:55,500
I can dance.
404
00:18:55,627 --> 00:18:56,710
What?
405
00:18:57,295 --> 00:18:58,754
I can dance.
406
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,839
(ALL CONTINUE CHANTING)
407
00:19:01,633 --> 00:19:03,842
STIFLER:
Five, six, seven, eight...
408
00:19:06,596 --> 00:19:08,680
Okay. What exactly
is this here?
409
00:19:08,806 --> 00:19:10,891
Left box turn.
410
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:12,225
Left box turn. Okay.
411
00:19:13,144 --> 00:19:14,394
Hi. Stop looking
into my eyes.
412
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,771
Sorry. Sorry.
413
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,315
Now how do you know this?
How do you know
how to do this?
414
00:19:18,399 --> 00:19:20,400
My mom made me take it
for three fuckin' years.
415
00:19:20,485 --> 00:19:21,944
Yeah?
I hated it.
416
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:25,572
No, you're really good.
You should take
ballet or something.
417
00:19:25,657 --> 00:19:26,990
Fuckface!
418
00:19:27,116 --> 00:19:28,450
What part of
"this sucks my ass"
419
00:19:28,618 --> 00:19:29,993
do you not
under-fuckin'-stand?
420
00:19:30,078 --> 00:19:31,912
This is exactly
what I'm talking about,
Steven.
421
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:35,457
You can't behave like this.
If you wanna
come to the wedding,
422
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,167
I'm sorry,
you cannot act like this.
423
00:19:37,251 --> 00:19:38,835
Are you saying
I'm impolite or something?
424
00:19:38,962 --> 00:19:40,629
Impolite would
be an improvement.
425
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,340
Look, just try not to be,
426
00:19:43,424 --> 00:19:44,841
you know, you.
427
00:19:47,261 --> 00:19:48,470
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
428
00:19:48,846 --> 00:19:50,681
Fuck this shit.
It's not worth it.
429
00:19:50,765 --> 00:19:52,724
Wait, Stifler. Hold on.
430
00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:56,269
Okay, what if you planned
the bachelor party?
431
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,688
With a dildo show?
432
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:03,568
Sure. If you can
find the time to fit it in,
go ahead.
433
00:20:03,653 --> 00:20:05,195
Surprise me.
Sorry, chief.
434
00:20:05,279 --> 00:20:06,738
It only gets
you halfway there.
435
00:20:06,823 --> 00:20:08,156
What do you mean?
436
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:11,410
I need assurances that
I'm gonna get some quality
action at this wedding.
437
00:20:11,494 --> 00:20:13,453
(STUTTERING) I'm sorry,
I can't make that promise.
438
00:20:13,830 --> 00:20:15,998
Well, let me put it
to you this way, Jimbo.
439
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:20,168
No pussy, no dancing. Okay?
440
00:20:20,378 --> 00:20:23,171
No pussy, no dancing.
441
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,048
How's that for polite?
442
00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:26,174
(RAZZING)
443
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,509
(CACKLES)
444
00:20:30,346 --> 00:20:32,681
Jim, your suspicions
are confirmed.
445
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:35,600
Michelle wants a dress
that she can't get.
446
00:20:35,810 --> 00:20:39,896
The dress she wants is Amsale.
They have a store in Chicago.
447
00:20:40,398 --> 00:20:43,525
If we leave right now,
we can get there by
the time they close.
448
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:44,693
It's a three-hour drive.
449
00:20:44,861 --> 00:20:45,944
STIFLER:
Three-hour drive?
450
00:20:46,404 --> 00:20:49,865
Kick fucking ass!
Are we going to Chicago
to see titties?
451
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:53,243
We are talking about
getting Michelle
a dress in Chicago.
452
00:20:53,327 --> 00:20:55,287
Now, please vanish.
453
00:20:55,371 --> 00:20:57,581
Hey, Finch, what's
the capital of Thailand?
454
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:00,125
Bang cock.
455
00:21:00,209 --> 00:21:01,543
(LAUGHS)
456
00:21:01,669 --> 00:21:03,545
Dude...
Okay, I got shotgun.
457
00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:04,629
(GROANING)
458
00:21:10,261 --> 00:21:12,137
STIFLER: Let's get this
dress shit over with.
459
00:21:12,221 --> 00:21:15,474
The strip bar's
got free hot wings
before 7:00.
460
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,394
Now, Jim, let me handle this.
These are my people.
461
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:20,645
They're gay?
462
00:21:20,730 --> 00:21:22,272
No, you bleeding imbecile,
463
00:21:22,356 --> 00:21:25,776
they have style.
They're cultured.
They're sophisticated.
464
00:21:26,277 --> 00:21:27,486
So they're gay.
465
00:21:27,904 --> 00:21:30,947
So, mademoiselle,
I'm sure that
you can appreciate
466
00:21:31,032 --> 00:21:34,409
that monsieur here
is stuck right between
Scylla and Charybdis.
467
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:37,120
(CHUCKLES)
Yes, I'm afraid
he's no Ulysses.
468
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:38,830
Okay, what's happening here?
469
00:21:39,082 --> 00:21:41,124
You need to speak
to my dressmaker.
470
00:21:41,209 --> 00:21:43,168
That's who would
actually make the dress,
471
00:21:43,252 --> 00:21:45,462
and I'm afraid Leslie
has gone for the day.
472
00:21:56,057 --> 00:21:57,474
All right, she said
she'd probably be at
473
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,017
one of these bars
here on Halstead.
474
00:21:59,102 --> 00:22:02,020
I say we split up, ask around
for a Leslie Summers.
475
00:22:02,105 --> 00:22:03,313
Right.
476
00:22:19,413 --> 00:22:21,456
Hey there,
sweet little thing.
477
00:22:21,582 --> 00:22:23,667
Hey there,
you sweet manly thing.
478
00:22:24,418 --> 00:22:25,752
You know,
I really love your shirt.
479
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,254
Do I know you?
480
00:22:27,338 --> 00:22:28,964
I'm Jennifer.
481
00:22:29,048 --> 00:22:34,010
Well, Jennifer,
just relax, take it slow,
and let the good times roll,
482
00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:35,971
because Daddy's
a regular here!
483
00:22:36,097 --> 00:22:37,556
Do you wanna get a drink?
484
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,850
You're goddamn right I do.
(WHOOPS)
485
00:22:42,645 --> 00:22:44,229
Two cold ones.
486
00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:47,065
You know, my friend would
really dig your vibe.
487
00:22:47,150 --> 00:22:48,150
Will you wait here?
488
00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:49,192
Sure thing, babe.
489
00:22:49,277 --> 00:22:51,111
Good.
All right.
490
00:22:52,029 --> 00:22:53,113
How you feeling, sexy?
491
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:54,322
Pretty good.
492
00:22:54,490 --> 00:22:56,575
Whoa! You have a deep voice.
493
00:22:56,659 --> 00:22:58,034
That's not all.
494
00:22:58,119 --> 00:22:59,119
(LAUGHS)
495
00:22:59,203 --> 00:23:00,412
Oh! Right.
496
00:23:01,205 --> 00:23:02,956
You look
really cute tonight.
497
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,791
Thanks. I guess.
498
00:23:05,501 --> 00:23:07,002
What the...
499
00:23:07,128 --> 00:23:08,128
(SMACKS)
500
00:23:09,046 --> 00:23:11,381
Oh, hey!
Feeling a little frisky?
501
00:23:11,465 --> 00:23:12,549
Oh!
502
00:23:12,633 --> 00:23:15,719
Game over.
What's happening here?
503
00:23:19,265 --> 00:23:20,640
Hey. Any luck?
504
00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:22,142
Not so much.
505
00:23:22,310 --> 00:23:23,852
All right, let's...
506
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,815
This is Bear.
507
00:23:28,983 --> 00:23:30,358
Hey!
508
00:23:30,860 --> 00:23:32,736
Wow, you are a bear.
509
00:23:32,820 --> 00:23:34,237
(BOTH ROAR)
510
00:23:35,198 --> 00:23:36,364
Yeah.
(BARKS)
511
00:23:38,201 --> 00:23:39,576
How much you bench?
512
00:23:39,702 --> 00:23:41,077
How much you weigh?
513
00:23:41,204 --> 00:23:43,622
Why? You wanna try
and pick me up?
514
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:46,166
Yeah, I think I could.
515
00:23:46,334 --> 00:23:47,918
Yeah, I bet you could.
516
00:23:48,169 --> 00:23:51,588
You are big.
I could use a guy
like you on my team.
517
00:23:52,173 --> 00:23:56,218
Are you talking
about our team?
Or an actual team?
518
00:23:56,636 --> 00:24:00,513
What the hell is "our team"?
Hi, where's the girl?
519
00:24:00,681 --> 00:24:03,058
(GASPS) What the fuck
are we talking about?
520
00:24:03,142 --> 00:24:05,685
You need to take
another look around.
521
00:24:09,023 --> 00:24:10,232
You look fabulous!
522
00:24:10,358 --> 00:24:11,566
Hey, honey.
523
00:24:11,651 --> 00:24:14,402
Oh, my God.
What the fuck is going on?
524
00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:16,029
(ALL LAUGHING)
525
00:24:17,114 --> 00:24:19,532
Come on,
is that all you've got?
526
00:24:19,617 --> 00:24:20,784
(GASPS)
527
00:24:20,868 --> 00:24:22,202
Pussy!
528
00:24:23,204 --> 00:24:26,081
I must have came
to the wrong place.
Stifler.
529
00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:28,208
Stifler.
Oh, man.
530
00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:30,085
Hey.
It's so good to see you.
531
00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:32,587
How did you get up the nerve
to check out a gay bar?
532
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:35,799
Really don't wanna
talk about it right now.
I just wanna go home.
533
00:24:35,883 --> 00:24:36,925
Your friend here
was just leaving.
534
00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,009
Eat shit.
535
00:24:38,094 --> 00:24:39,469
Did you find Leslie?
536
00:24:39,595 --> 00:24:40,971
Fuck your stupid dressmaker.
537
00:24:41,055 --> 00:24:42,597
You guys know Leslie Summers?
538
00:24:42,723 --> 00:24:44,307
We're trying to find her.
539
00:24:46,477 --> 00:24:48,228
You know what?
I think you guys
are out of luck.
540
00:24:48,312 --> 00:24:49,312
Why don't you go home?
541
00:24:49,522 --> 00:24:51,523
No. You know Leslie Summers?
He knows her.
542
00:24:51,607 --> 00:24:54,693
My friends and I,
we just drove
all the way from Michigan
543
00:24:54,777 --> 00:24:57,404
to find my fiancée
the wedding dress
that she deserves.
544
00:24:57,488 --> 00:24:59,114
We need Leslie
to make it for us.
545
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:00,907
Can you please
help us find her?
546
00:25:00,992 --> 00:25:04,244
I'm sure Leslie always helps
associates of assholes.
547
00:25:06,580 --> 00:25:09,082
What are you looking at?
I'm not a steak.
548
00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:12,961
Listen, breeder,
not every gay man wants
to have sex with you.
549
00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:17,257
Yeah? Listen up, ass jockey.
If I were gay, you'd want me!
550
00:25:17,550 --> 00:25:19,301
Really?
Really.
551
00:25:19,385 --> 00:25:23,722
I got style. I'm cultured.
I'm sophisticated.
552
00:25:23,806 --> 00:25:27,934
And all that just radiates
from your oh-so-sexy self.
553
00:25:28,019 --> 00:25:31,771
That's bullshit.
Everyone wants a piece
of the Stifmeister.
554
00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:33,398
(ALL LAUGHING)
555
00:25:34,525 --> 00:25:36,484
Yeah, right!
556
00:25:39,572 --> 00:25:40,947
Without a doubt.
557
00:25:42,158 --> 00:25:43,950
I'll show you fuckers.
Bye.
558
00:25:44,035 --> 00:25:45,869
Everybody say bye.
Bye.
559
00:25:48,414 --> 00:25:49,372
Bye.
560
00:25:49,457 --> 00:25:51,207
Good luck with the dress.
561
00:25:54,503 --> 00:25:55,879
Give us a drink.
562
00:26:01,135 --> 00:26:02,427
(SONG CHANGES)
563
00:26:02,511 --> 00:26:04,637
(OMINOUS SYNTHESIZED MUSIC)
564
00:26:06,307 --> 00:26:07,349
(CROWD MURMURING)
565
00:26:11,103 --> 00:26:13,063
(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
566
00:26:27,036 --> 00:26:28,578
Mother of God.
567
00:26:46,263 --> 00:26:47,514
Bitch!
568
00:26:48,182 --> 00:26:49,682
(SONG CHANGES)
569
00:26:57,691 --> 00:26:59,275
(WOMAN WHOOPING)
570
00:27:00,361 --> 00:27:02,153
What is this, a dance-off?
571
00:27:05,032 --> 00:27:06,074
Oh, yeah?
572
00:27:13,416 --> 00:27:52,036
(SONG CHANGES)
573
00:28:30,117 --> 00:28:31,618
(ALL CHEERING)
574
00:28:36,790 --> 00:28:38,124
I love you!
575
00:28:38,667 --> 00:28:39,834
What?
576
00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:43,213
Fabulous. Seeing that
was worth anything.
577
00:28:43,297 --> 00:28:46,257
Look, I'm Leslie Summers
and you've got yourself
a dress.
578
00:28:48,844 --> 00:28:51,638
Oh, my God.
Thank you. Thank you.
579
00:28:52,431 --> 00:28:54,891
Yeah, no problem.
Say, who's your friend?
580
00:28:54,975 --> 00:28:56,226
(STUTTERS) Kevin.
581
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,816
Was that the best
night ever or what?
582
00:29:03,901 --> 00:29:04,984
Are you kidding me?
583
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,194
Yeah, it was amazing.
584
00:29:06,278 --> 00:29:07,695
Hey, guys!
585
00:29:09,406 --> 00:29:13,284
When you get your
bachelor party together,
I manage some girls in town.
586
00:29:13,702 --> 00:29:14,744
Real ones.
587
00:29:14,870 --> 00:29:15,912
All right.
588
00:29:17,456 --> 00:29:18,706
Call me.
589
00:29:18,916 --> 00:29:21,459
Damn, Stiffy,
you got some moves.
590
00:29:27,716 --> 00:29:30,009
I told you that guy
wanted to fuck me.
591
00:29:30,094 --> 00:29:31,427
(LAUGHING)
592
00:29:32,137 --> 00:29:35,014
I can't believe this.
They're really gonna
make the dress for me?
593
00:29:35,099 --> 00:29:37,308
They're expecting your call.
Go ahead.
594
00:29:37,393 --> 00:29:40,478
This is so cool.
I love you.
595
00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:42,313
Thank you.
596
00:29:44,108 --> 00:29:46,067
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
597
00:29:47,111 --> 00:29:48,820
Well, that worked out.
598
00:29:49,989 --> 00:29:53,199
Maybe it's time
we had that special
dinner chat.
599
00:29:53,409 --> 00:29:55,076
I'll have turkey.
600
00:30:00,207 --> 00:30:01,708
Thanks for helping out.
601
00:30:01,792 --> 00:30:04,544
We're so close
and there's still
so much to do.
602
00:30:07,590 --> 00:30:08,756
Cadence!
603
00:30:19,852 --> 00:30:20,977
Hey!
Hi!
604
00:30:23,314 --> 00:30:27,275
Cadence, this is Paul Finch.
Finch, meet my
younger sister, Cadence.
605
00:30:27,359 --> 00:30:28,610
Nice to meet you.
606
00:30:28,736 --> 00:30:30,028
You're reading Descartes.
607
00:30:30,404 --> 00:30:34,991
Yeah. Cogito ergo sum.
"I think, therefore I am."
608
00:30:35,826 --> 00:30:39,704
Hungry.
609
00:30:41,999 --> 00:30:44,125
So, when's Mark getting in?
610
00:30:44,251 --> 00:30:46,419
Let's see.
That would be never.
611
00:30:47,338 --> 00:30:48,588
Did you guys break up?
612
00:30:48,756 --> 00:30:50,006
How tragic.
613
00:30:50,716 --> 00:30:53,092
Sorry, Paul Finch.
Girl stuff.
614
00:30:53,260 --> 00:30:55,261
(AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARING)
615
00:30:59,308 --> 00:31:00,642
Just stay calm.
616
00:31:01,143 --> 00:31:03,895
I'm available,
she's available.
It's all good.
617
00:31:04,980 --> 00:31:07,690
She's a beautiful girl,
and you're you.
618
00:31:07,775 --> 00:31:09,108
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
619
00:31:09,193 --> 00:31:10,401
MICHELLE: Spill it, sister.
What's the problem?
620
00:31:10,486 --> 00:31:11,736
I dumped him.
621
00:31:11,987 --> 00:31:15,907
But it was Mark.
I thought you really
liked him. He was nice.
622
00:31:15,991 --> 00:31:20,286
Yeah, but sometimes
nice isn't so nice.
623
00:31:21,288 --> 00:31:23,247
Wait. Hold on.
Let me get this straight.
624
00:31:23,332 --> 00:31:24,791
He didn't want to do it.
625
00:31:24,875 --> 00:31:26,793
He said he didn't
want to ruin what we had
626
00:31:26,919 --> 00:31:28,836
by deflowering ourselves.
627
00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:31,214
Who the hell uses
the word "deflower"?
628
00:31:31,298 --> 00:31:32,674
(MICHELLE GROANS)
629
00:31:32,758 --> 00:31:33,925
It's like
something Mom would say.
630
00:31:34,051 --> 00:31:35,259
Yeah.
631
00:31:35,469 --> 00:31:38,971
And I'm starting to realize
Mom and Dad's idea of
appropriate behavior
632
00:31:39,390 --> 00:31:41,933
might be a little bit
different than mine.
633
00:31:42,601 --> 00:31:44,268
Mish, you're in love.
Shh.
634
00:31:44,353 --> 00:31:46,646
You're getting married.
I mean, what's this like?
635
00:31:46,814 --> 00:31:48,064
It's like it's...
636
00:31:48,482 --> 00:31:50,525
I'm never going to
be able to explain it.
637
00:31:50,609 --> 00:31:53,069
I wanted us to
write our own vows
for the wedding
638
00:31:53,153 --> 00:31:54,862
and now I can't do mine.
639
00:31:55,864 --> 00:31:57,740
How do you explain love?
640
00:31:59,118 --> 00:32:00,952
I guess I wouldn't know.
641
00:32:01,036 --> 00:32:03,830
I don't think
I've ever felt
that way about a guy.
642
00:32:03,914 --> 00:32:05,081
Someday you will.
643
00:32:05,207 --> 00:32:06,374
Maybe.
644
00:32:06,959 --> 00:32:08,835
But in the meantime,
I don't think it would hurt
645
00:32:09,002 --> 00:32:10,878
to get a little
rowdy this weekend.
646
00:32:11,213 --> 00:32:14,716
Jim's got
single friends, right?
Is Finch a possibility?
647
00:32:15,008 --> 00:32:16,467
Finch is bonable.
648
00:32:16,552 --> 00:32:18,219
Yes, he is bonable.
649
00:32:18,470 --> 00:32:19,429
(THUD)
650
00:32:19,513 --> 00:32:20,638
(WATER SLOSHING)
651
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,853
Dickhead. Do not send shit
to my office at school.
652
00:32:26,937 --> 00:32:29,647
Hey, Stifler, why don't
you come in and make
yourself comfortable?
653
00:32:29,732 --> 00:32:31,107
Your letter made
a great impression
654
00:32:31,233 --> 00:32:32,650
on Coach Marshall
when he read it.
655
00:32:32,735 --> 00:32:34,736
Let me refresh
your memory, partner.
656
00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:37,572
"Dear Steve, I will
be forever in your debt
if you teach me to dance
657
00:32:37,656 --> 00:32:39,157
"like you did
in the gay bar."
658
00:32:39,241 --> 00:32:41,075
I put serious thought
into that letter.
659
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:45,204
Don't push me,
'cause I'm close to the edge.
660
00:32:45,289 --> 00:32:47,957
I'm trying not
to lose my head.
661
00:32:48,041 --> 00:32:49,959
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
(LAUGHS)
662
00:32:52,004 --> 00:32:54,756
CADENCE: These are really
nice for a bridesmaid dress.
663
00:32:55,132 --> 00:32:57,884
At least something
you can actually wear again.
664
00:32:58,469 --> 00:33:00,970
You don't think
it's too sexy, do you?
665
00:33:01,054 --> 00:33:03,139
I mean, I don't want to seem
slutty or anything.
666
00:33:03,223 --> 00:33:05,057
I'm trying to
attract a decent guy here.
667
00:33:05,476 --> 00:33:08,186
MICHELLE: It's a wedding.
They'll all be decent guys.
668
00:33:08,937 --> 00:33:11,856
I just don't feel
quite like a virgin in it.
669
00:33:11,940 --> 00:33:13,232
Oh!
670
00:33:17,279 --> 00:33:19,655
So, you guys
have to be psyched
to be done with college.
671
00:33:19,740 --> 00:33:22,867
I mean, I swear,
I'm running out of room
in my brain for everything.
672
00:33:23,243 --> 00:33:25,995
There's always room
for Plato and Aristotle.
673
00:33:26,163 --> 00:33:28,039
Some of my favorites.
674
00:33:30,042 --> 00:33:31,709
Excuse me, guys.
675
00:33:32,294 --> 00:33:35,338
Finch, she thinks
you were being sarcastic.
676
00:33:35,547 --> 00:33:38,174
STIFLER: Okay.
It's so good to see you.
677
00:33:39,051 --> 00:33:41,928
You want some help?
Here, let me help
you out there.
678
00:33:42,095 --> 00:33:45,473
There you go.
You keep fighting
the good fight, sir.
679
00:33:47,684 --> 00:33:49,143
That's great.
680
00:33:49,603 --> 00:33:50,895
That was really
sweet of you.
681
00:33:51,021 --> 00:33:52,313
Yeah.
682
00:33:53,190 --> 00:33:55,399
I love old people, you know?
683
00:33:55,484 --> 00:33:56,609
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
684
00:33:56,777 --> 00:33:59,737
Hey, I hate to be
nosy and impolite,
685
00:33:59,822 --> 00:34:01,864
but do you know
Jim Levenstein
and Michelle Flaherty?
686
00:34:01,949 --> 00:34:03,574
Yeah.
Are they here?
687
00:34:03,659 --> 00:34:05,451
Well, I'm Cadence,
Michelle's sister.
688
00:34:05,911 --> 00:34:08,704
I had no idea. I'm their
good friend, Steven.
689
00:34:08,789 --> 00:34:09,914
Nice to meet you.
690
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,207
Yeah, you, too.
691
00:34:11,291 --> 00:34:13,376
Well, they're around town
doing some wedding stuff.
692
00:34:13,460 --> 00:34:14,544
That's cool.
693
00:34:14,628 --> 00:34:17,505
But there's still a few
of us in the other room
if you want to join us.
694
00:34:17,589 --> 00:34:19,298
I don't know.
695
00:34:19,633 --> 00:34:22,051
You look so nice.
I feel underdressed.
696
00:34:23,220 --> 00:34:24,303
Well, I think you look great.
697
00:34:24,471 --> 00:34:25,555
Thank you.
698
00:34:26,473 --> 00:34:28,140
Oh, here they are.
699
00:34:28,225 --> 00:34:30,101
Hi, boys.
Don't stand up.
700
00:34:31,061 --> 00:34:32,311
The dads aren't here yet?
701
00:34:32,479 --> 00:34:33,771
I'll go find them.
702
00:34:33,939 --> 00:34:36,607
Which one of you
is the best man?
703
00:34:36,692 --> 00:34:40,653
Jim didn't pick just one.
Or I mean,
he couldn't decide.
704
00:34:41,238 --> 00:34:42,822
Hey, Paul. Hey, Kevin.
705
00:34:42,990 --> 00:34:44,574
CADENCE: Mom,
I want you to meet Steven.
706
00:34:44,992 --> 00:34:48,911
He's friends
of Jim's and mine
and everyone's.
707
00:34:49,580 --> 00:34:51,539
You look
very familiar, Steven.
708
00:34:51,665 --> 00:34:53,666
Really? I'm afraid
we've never met.
Oh.
709
00:34:54,209 --> 00:34:55,668
Well, we have now.
710
00:34:55,836 --> 00:34:56,836
Oh!
711
00:34:57,087 --> 00:35:00,006
Looks like you
found Samantha's Sweets.
Oh!
712
00:35:00,090 --> 00:35:02,675
Isn't their
chocolate just to die for?
713
00:35:02,885 --> 00:35:04,093
You have no idea.
714
00:35:04,219 --> 00:35:05,469
Actually, I do.
715
00:35:05,554 --> 00:35:06,846
I love chocolate
more than...
716
00:35:07,014 --> 00:35:08,347
More than life itself!
717
00:35:08,432 --> 00:35:10,683
I was just
saying to your friends
718
00:35:11,184 --> 00:35:13,436
I have something
very precious here.
719
00:35:13,562 --> 00:35:14,729
What is it?
720
00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:19,191
Michelle's grandmother's,
my mother's, wedding ring.
721
00:35:19,568 --> 00:35:21,319
Isn't that precious?
722
00:35:21,403 --> 00:35:23,696
Since all of you
are the best man,
723
00:35:23,864 --> 00:35:26,198
I don't know
who should hold onto it.
724
00:35:26,283 --> 00:35:27,575
I think it's best if I...
725
00:35:27,659 --> 00:35:28,659
Oh, um...
726
00:35:30,162 --> 00:35:33,372
I think you
should get to know us
first and then decide.
727
00:35:34,082 --> 00:35:36,751
You are such
a gentleman, Steve.
728
00:35:36,835 --> 00:35:39,670
I hear that all the time,
but it never gets old.
729
00:35:40,130 --> 00:35:41,839
Hey, Paul,
do you have a camera?
730
00:35:41,965 --> 00:35:43,716
How thoughtful.
731
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,051
(MOUTHING)
732
00:35:45,469 --> 00:35:48,846
I must've forgotten
my camera at home, Steven.
733
00:35:48,931 --> 00:35:51,223
Maybe you could take,
like, a mental note.
734
00:35:51,516 --> 00:35:52,725
(CHUCKLES)
735
00:35:53,185 --> 00:35:54,352
I won't forget this moment.
736
00:35:54,478 --> 00:35:55,686
I'll bet you won't.
737
00:35:55,771 --> 00:35:57,313
Would you care to
join us, Steven?
738
00:35:57,439 --> 00:35:58,981
I'd love to. Thank you.
739
00:35:59,066 --> 00:36:00,524
Good to see you fellows.
Thank you.
740
00:36:00,609 --> 00:36:01,984
(MOUTHING)
741
00:36:07,491 --> 00:36:10,159
STIFLER: Oh, amazing.
742
00:36:10,243 --> 00:36:12,036
What the hell is he doing
near my flowers?
743
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,789
I love the way
the tulips accentuate the...
744
00:36:14,873 --> 00:36:16,123
What do you call
those again, sir?
745
00:36:16,249 --> 00:36:17,541
Double lisianthus.
746
00:36:17,626 --> 00:36:18,918
Lisianthus.
747
00:36:19,086 --> 00:36:20,419
Double lisianthums.
748
00:36:20,837 --> 00:36:22,588
What a pretty name.
749
00:36:22,673 --> 00:36:23,923
(CHUCKLING)
750
00:36:25,634 --> 00:36:29,512
I told him to be nice,
or he couldn't come
to the wedding.
751
00:36:29,596 --> 00:36:31,639
Okay,
I will take care of this.
I will take care of this.
752
00:36:31,723 --> 00:36:32,974
James. Great.
Come on over.
753
00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:34,392
Great, come on over.
754
00:36:34,476 --> 00:36:36,978
You can see
if I forgot anything.
I don't think I... Oh!
755
00:36:37,604 --> 00:36:38,729
We're having a great time.
756
00:36:38,814 --> 00:36:41,148
I think I've got it all.
Look, look, look.
757
00:36:42,067 --> 00:36:44,110
Sahara and
desert rose for
(MOUTHING)
758
00:36:44,194 --> 00:36:46,237
Your bridesmaids' bouquet.
759
00:36:46,321 --> 00:36:48,406
Give me that. Smell this.
760
00:36:49,825 --> 00:36:51,951
It's fantastic.
Fantastic. And... Oh!
761
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,705
(EXCLAIMING)
762
00:36:56,790 --> 00:36:57,957
(SQUEALS)
763
00:36:58,041 --> 00:36:59,542
Look at this!
764
00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:01,335
(LAUGHING)
765
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,171
Let's go look at
the candelabrum, honey.
766
00:37:04,256 --> 00:37:06,757
I think with
the summer blossoms...
767
00:37:06,967 --> 00:37:08,342
Thank you for everything.
768
00:37:08,427 --> 00:37:09,760
What'd you think, girls?
Isn't this adorable?
769
00:37:09,886 --> 00:37:11,220
Bye, Cadence.
770
00:37:11,304 --> 00:37:14,473
Okay, I know
what you're doing. Look,
have you seen yourself?
771
00:37:14,558 --> 00:37:16,142
I can't believe
you're doing this, Stifler.
772
00:37:16,309 --> 00:37:17,935
Just calm down, dude.
773
00:37:18,020 --> 00:37:19,603
It's all set.
What's set?
774
00:37:19,688 --> 00:37:22,565
I'm gonna teach you
to dance like
a Baryshninikov.
775
00:37:23,442 --> 00:37:24,442
Oh, yeah.
776
00:37:24,776 --> 00:37:25,860
He is pretty good.
777
00:37:26,278 --> 00:37:27,903
Jim, he's not
doing it to be nice.
778
00:37:27,988 --> 00:37:29,488
He's doing it
to bone Cadence.
779
00:37:29,573 --> 00:37:30,906
Look, maybe we should
give him a chance.
780
00:37:30,991 --> 00:37:32,199
You know, I think
781
00:37:32,409 --> 00:37:36,162
that underneath
all the "fucks" and "shits"
and "blow me's"
782
00:37:36,246 --> 00:37:38,289
there's a very
sensitive person
783
00:37:38,373 --> 00:37:40,374
who is just
thirsty for acceptance.
784
00:37:40,459 --> 00:37:42,084
That's what I think.
785
00:37:43,045 --> 00:37:45,880
Oh, Jim, you've got
to stop masturbating.
786
00:37:45,964 --> 00:37:47,006
It's melting your brain.
787
00:37:47,632 --> 00:37:49,800
Observe
the fucking Stifmeister.
788
00:37:49,926 --> 00:37:52,094
What is his
defining characteristic?
789
00:37:53,722 --> 00:37:56,223
He uses the "F"
word excessively.
790
00:37:56,349 --> 00:37:59,143
Thanks, man.
But I also have confidence.
791
00:37:59,311 --> 00:38:00,811
You're one big floppy cock.
792
00:38:00,896 --> 00:38:03,731
Look at you.
You got to stand
like a man.
793
00:38:03,815 --> 00:38:06,567
Your posture tells
your partner where to go.
794
00:38:06,651 --> 00:38:07,651
Okay?
Okay.
795
00:38:07,861 --> 00:38:09,487
Follow my lead.
796
00:38:10,739 --> 00:38:12,323
This is the waltz.
797
00:38:12,449 --> 00:38:14,033
Waltz? Okay.
798
00:38:15,368 --> 00:38:16,660
Waltz. Okay.
799
00:38:19,081 --> 00:38:20,539
That's pretty good.
800
00:38:20,707 --> 00:38:22,166
You're fucking right
it's good.
801
00:38:22,250 --> 00:38:25,044
I'm gonna save your ass
in this wedding.
802
00:38:25,128 --> 00:38:27,505
Pretty soon you're gonna
want me to shave your balls.
803
00:38:27,589 --> 00:38:30,883
Should I shave my balls?
Do you shave your balls?
How do you do it?
804
00:38:31,009 --> 00:38:32,384
Dude! No.
805
00:38:33,887 --> 00:38:35,221
(STUTTERS)
806
00:38:36,264 --> 00:38:37,973
I'm just... Shaving...
807
00:38:39,142 --> 00:38:41,268
You know, there's
nothing like a local pub.
808
00:38:41,353 --> 00:38:43,104
Mmm-hmm.
It's like real America,
809
00:38:43,188 --> 00:38:45,648
without all
that corporateness
and catchy jingles.
810
00:38:45,732 --> 00:38:47,316
What's wrong
with a good jingle?
811
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,985
I think it was
Voltaire who said,
812
00:38:51,071 --> 00:38:55,324
"A jingle witty
proves everything
for my friends and I."
813
00:38:56,952 --> 00:38:58,160
(CHUCKLES)
814
00:38:58,286 --> 00:39:01,539
Cadence, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.
815
00:39:01,748 --> 00:39:04,208
You're just in time for
Voltaire's greatest hits.
816
00:39:04,292 --> 00:39:07,294
Voltaire? Stifler, please,
who was Voltaire?
817
00:39:07,379 --> 00:39:10,256
Someone much wiser than you,
I'm afraid, Finch.
818
00:39:10,340 --> 00:39:14,426
Actually, I'm getting
a little burned out on all
the intellectual stuff.
819
00:39:14,636 --> 00:39:16,387
Yeah, me, too.
820
00:39:16,763 --> 00:39:18,305
Being smart is so hard.
821
00:39:18,390 --> 00:39:19,682
(CHUCKLING)
822
00:39:21,893 --> 00:39:24,353
I'll give you
some intelligence.
823
00:39:25,438 --> 00:39:28,149
Voltaire can suck
on my balls.
824
00:39:30,152 --> 00:39:31,360
What?
825
00:39:31,695 --> 00:39:34,113
It's about time somebody
finally came out and said it.
826
00:39:34,197 --> 00:39:36,282
Hey, I'm gonna give you
a quote to live by.
827
00:39:36,366 --> 00:39:38,242
"Love life, get paid,
and then get laid."
828
00:39:38,326 --> 00:39:41,787
That is the basic philosophy
of the Finchmeister.
829
00:39:41,997 --> 00:39:43,330
I like that.
(MOUTHING)
830
00:39:43,415 --> 00:39:44,456
Bet you do.
831
00:39:45,125 --> 00:39:47,543
Really? I don't know
why you do,
832
00:39:47,627 --> 00:39:50,212
because
Finchmeister doesn't make
any frigging sense.
833
00:39:50,297 --> 00:39:51,630
Sure it does.
834
00:39:51,756 --> 00:39:53,132
No fucking shit it does.
835
00:39:55,635 --> 00:39:59,221
Cadence, let's leave
the cray-ton here, shall we?
836
00:39:59,306 --> 00:40:01,473
Whatever. Fuck it.
I'm walking, anyway.
837
00:40:01,558 --> 00:40:05,811
You know, I think
I'm gonna go stretch my legs
with the Finchmeister.
838
00:40:05,937 --> 00:40:07,146
You don't mind,
do you, Steven?
839
00:40:07,314 --> 00:40:08,564
No.
840
00:40:11,359 --> 00:40:12,359
Ha!
841
00:40:13,445 --> 00:40:14,695
(HUFFING)
842
00:40:16,990 --> 00:40:19,491
It's on like
Donkey Kong, bitch.
843
00:40:20,660 --> 00:40:22,077
Pack it up, bitch.
844
00:40:22,204 --> 00:40:23,621
I'm on it. Thank you.
845
00:40:23,705 --> 00:40:27,166
So, Cadence say
anything about me?
846
00:40:27,250 --> 00:40:30,669
Whatever you and
Finch are pulling,
she seems to like you both.
847
00:40:30,795 --> 00:40:33,923
Finch. She gonna be around
tomorrow night?
848
00:40:34,132 --> 00:40:37,426
No, she's going up to
Chicago with Michelle
for the final dress fitting.
849
00:40:37,510 --> 00:40:38,802
What about her parents?
850
00:40:39,512 --> 00:40:41,430
I think her mom
kind of likes me.
851
00:40:41,514 --> 00:40:45,100
They're going up north
with my parents
852
00:40:45,185 --> 00:40:47,519
to get things ready
for the rehearsal.
853
00:40:47,604 --> 00:40:49,355
So that's where they'll be.
854
00:40:49,439 --> 00:40:52,274
So don't bother
looking for them
or anything, you know?
855
00:40:52,359 --> 00:40:54,610
A wedding. (SCOFFS) Shit.
856
00:40:56,112 --> 00:40:58,364
How do you know
she's the right girl?
857
00:40:58,448 --> 00:40:59,698
I just do.
858
00:40:59,824 --> 00:41:01,909
I'm a better person
when I'm with Michelle.
859
00:41:01,993 --> 00:41:03,786
Nobody else can...
No, shithead.
860
00:41:03,870 --> 00:41:07,248
You hooked up with
one other girl for what?
10 seconds?
861
00:41:07,332 --> 00:41:10,918
Not to mention
you passed on Nadia.
Dumbest fucking thing ever.
862
00:41:11,002 --> 00:41:13,671
You're like
a blind man picking
out his favorite porno.
863
00:41:13,755 --> 00:41:15,547
That shit is crazy.
864
00:41:18,969 --> 00:41:21,303
JIM'S DAD:
This is just the old
pre-wedding jitters, Son.
865
00:41:21,388 --> 00:41:23,931
JIM: It's so forever.
You know, it's...
866
00:41:24,391 --> 00:41:28,310
You know,
Michelle is the only girl
that I've been with.
867
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,398
Honestly, now,
would you have passed up
sex with Nadia?
868
00:41:33,900 --> 00:41:36,068
Why? Did she say something?
869
00:41:36,861 --> 00:41:38,654
Hypothetically, Dad.
870
00:41:38,738 --> 00:41:40,364
Hypothetically. Well,
871
00:41:40,448 --> 00:41:42,491
you know, Jim,
I'm a married man.
872
00:41:43,118 --> 00:41:44,368
If you weren't married.
873
00:41:44,911 --> 00:41:46,161
She's a college girl.
874
00:41:46,538 --> 00:41:47,579
If you were a college guy.
875
00:41:47,664 --> 00:41:50,124
In a heartbeat.
Oh, yeah. Mmm-hmm.
876
00:41:50,959 --> 00:41:52,876
First of all,
what you're feeling
877
00:41:53,003 --> 00:41:54,920
is so normal
and perfectly natural.
878
00:41:55,380 --> 00:41:56,755
Marriage is not about
879
00:41:57,257 --> 00:42:00,009
animal lusting,
and kinky sex games.
880
00:42:00,093 --> 00:42:02,136
It's not so much about
881
00:42:02,220 --> 00:42:05,347
who's the dog and
who's the fire
hydrant tonight.
882
00:42:05,432 --> 00:42:07,057
It's deeper than that.
883
00:42:07,142 --> 00:42:11,687
The longer a marriage lasts,
the longer you can go
884
00:42:12,897 --> 00:42:14,148
without sex.
885
00:42:14,232 --> 00:42:16,650
But when that
magic night does happen,
886
00:42:17,736 --> 00:42:19,570
it's all
the more meaningful.
887
00:42:19,654 --> 00:42:21,655
Let me tell you,
your mother, bless her,
888
00:42:21,781 --> 00:42:23,824
can still make me
squeal like a pig.
889
00:42:24,367 --> 00:42:25,868
I mean that
in the good sense.
890
00:42:25,952 --> 00:42:27,286
Do you follow
what I'm saying?
891
00:42:27,370 --> 00:42:29,121
You understand
where I'm going here?
892
00:42:29,289 --> 00:42:31,040
I do. I think...
893
00:42:31,124 --> 00:42:32,166
Anything else you need?
894
00:42:32,292 --> 00:42:33,417
No. No. That's...
895
00:42:35,879 --> 00:42:37,629
Anything I can do.
896
00:42:56,775 --> 00:43:00,694
He's not here.
Park the cars down there
where he won't see them.
897
00:43:07,035 --> 00:43:08,077
Whoo!
898
00:43:08,161 --> 00:43:09,787
Fucking right!
899
00:43:10,163 --> 00:43:11,830
So, you like
my pants, Stiffy?
900
00:43:11,915 --> 00:43:13,916
Whatever, dude.
As long as the girls
are worth it.
901
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,335
They're worth it.
Oh! And if you got
good wine, too,
902
00:43:16,419 --> 00:43:17,878
that'll score
points for you.
903
00:43:17,962 --> 00:43:19,671
I think there's
some in the basement.
904
00:43:19,756 --> 00:43:22,591
I'll get it. You ain't
gonna want to miss this.
905
00:43:23,134 --> 00:43:24,718
(LAUGHING)
906
00:43:25,345 --> 00:43:28,180
Gentlemen,
I would like to introduce
907
00:43:28,389 --> 00:43:32,101
Officer Krystal
und Fräulein Brandi!
908
00:43:33,686 --> 00:43:35,104
FINCH: Oh, my God.
909
00:43:35,230 --> 00:43:37,064
(STIFLER EXCLAIMING)
910
00:43:39,567 --> 00:43:40,567
Oh, my God.
911
00:43:40,902 --> 00:43:43,237
You boys have
been very messy.
912
00:43:47,742 --> 00:43:48,826
Whoops.
913
00:43:48,910 --> 00:43:50,494
Can you see my fanny?
914
00:43:50,578 --> 00:43:52,246
Whoops. (GIGGLES)
915
00:43:52,747 --> 00:43:54,164
Oh!
916
00:43:54,582 --> 00:43:55,791
(MOANS)
917
00:43:56,167 --> 00:43:57,793
(STIFLER WHOOPS)
918
00:43:58,044 --> 00:43:59,253
(YELPS)
Oh!
919
00:44:00,463 --> 00:44:01,463
Ow!
920
00:44:01,714 --> 00:44:03,549
You naughty girl.
921
00:44:03,633 --> 00:44:04,925
(GIGGLES)
922
00:44:05,969 --> 00:44:08,053
None of that
pleading the Fifth crap.
923
00:44:08,138 --> 00:44:09,555
You boys are gonna talk.
924
00:44:10,265 --> 00:44:11,348
(STUTTERS)
925
00:44:11,933 --> 00:44:13,100
STIFLER: Wow! (LAUGHING)
926
00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:15,853
Oh, my God!
927
00:44:17,939 --> 00:44:19,815
Are you just gonna
stand there and drool?
928
00:44:19,941 --> 00:44:21,066
Or we gonna have
a bachelor party?
929
00:44:21,192 --> 00:44:22,317
Fuck, yeah, we are!
930
00:44:22,402 --> 00:44:23,402
Yeah?
Yeah.
931
00:44:23,486 --> 00:44:25,445
What? I can't hear you.
932
00:44:25,947 --> 00:44:26,947
Louder!
(STUTTERS)
933
00:44:27,448 --> 00:44:28,574
Yes.
934
00:44:28,950 --> 00:44:30,159
Bachelor party.
935
00:44:30,285 --> 00:44:31,493
I can't hear you. Louder!
936
00:44:32,245 --> 00:44:33,954
Stick a finger in my ass!
937
00:44:34,164 --> 00:44:35,330
(GASPS)
938
00:44:37,458 --> 00:44:38,709
That's weird.
939
00:44:38,793 --> 00:44:40,127
You just wait.
940
00:44:40,211 --> 00:44:42,462
Maybe we should
just wait for Jim.
941
00:44:43,089 --> 00:44:45,048
Fuck Jim, man!
This is for us!
942
00:44:45,133 --> 00:44:46,216
Take her top off.
943
00:44:46,301 --> 00:44:49,511
My girlfriend has
strict rules about this.
No touching.
944
00:44:49,762 --> 00:44:50,846
(GROANING)
945
00:44:50,930 --> 00:44:52,556
What are you,
a dancing clown?
946
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:56,268
You wipe that shit-eating grin
off your face,
you punk-ass little bitch!
947
00:44:56,352 --> 00:44:57,644
This is awesome!
948
00:44:57,812 --> 00:44:59,229
You like that?
Like it? How much? No!
949
00:44:59,314 --> 00:45:00,522
Yeah, I do.
Boob.
950
00:45:02,817 --> 00:45:03,859
Sorry.
951
00:45:04,319 --> 00:45:07,154
No, not yet.
But you will be.
952
00:45:08,031 --> 00:45:10,365
Like I said,
this is awesome.
953
00:45:17,999 --> 00:45:20,209
Hey, listen,
I think we both know
954
00:45:20,335 --> 00:45:24,213
that Officer Krystal and me
have this, you know...
955
00:45:24,380 --> 00:45:25,672
Thing?
Yeah.
956
00:45:33,556 --> 00:45:36,433
No one has ever
slapped my ass like that.
957
00:45:36,893 --> 00:45:39,770
No one's ever
pinched my nipple
with such ferocity.
958
00:45:45,944 --> 00:45:49,404
I'm a master of
the Tantric art.
959
00:45:50,365 --> 00:45:52,616
I look at her
body and I just see
960
00:45:52,700 --> 00:45:55,369
the chakras and the things
I could do to her and...
961
00:45:55,453 --> 00:45:56,620
(INHALES SHARPLY)
962
00:45:56,704 --> 00:45:57,913
(GRUNTS)
963
00:46:06,798 --> 00:46:11,051
You, you look cute.
Oh, thank you.
964
00:46:11,552 --> 00:46:13,303
You, you're the cute one.
965
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:15,347
Stiffy, how slimming is this?
966
00:46:16,224 --> 00:46:18,725
What the fuck,
Buffalo Bill?
967
00:46:19,769 --> 00:46:21,979
What? The pink too much?
968
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:26,233
It puts
the dress in the drawer
and does as it's told.
969
00:46:27,485 --> 00:46:29,903
Oh, dude,
now that's fucked up.
970
00:46:30,613 --> 00:46:31,989
That's fucked up.
971
00:46:32,615 --> 00:46:35,158
And in closing,
you have been a naughty,
naughty girl.
972
00:46:35,243 --> 00:46:36,326
(CACKLES)
973
00:46:36,411 --> 00:46:39,788
You been naughty, Brandi?
You been fucking naughty?
974
00:46:41,249 --> 00:46:42,457
Fresh.
975
00:46:42,917 --> 00:46:44,084
(SCREAMS)
976
00:46:44,168 --> 00:46:45,252
Take her top off!
977
00:46:46,254 --> 00:46:48,922
Will you get to cleaning,
you little bitch fucker.
978
00:46:49,007 --> 00:46:50,382
(SCREAMS)
979
00:46:51,634 --> 00:46:53,010
Do you want to
see us kiss?
980
00:46:55,805 --> 00:46:57,180
Fuck, no!
981
00:46:57,473 --> 00:46:59,599
None of that "you go,
we go" bullshit.
982
00:46:59,934 --> 00:47:01,810
STIFLER:
We've already done that.
FINCH: Good of you.
983
00:47:13,948 --> 00:47:16,325
I used to have
this pet bass.
984
00:47:16,784 --> 00:47:19,369
His name was Arnie,
and he was so cute
985
00:47:19,454 --> 00:47:22,664
and he just loved me,
too, you know.
He would look at me...
986
00:47:22,790 --> 00:47:23,874
Maybe you
could dance.
987
00:47:23,958 --> 00:47:25,417
...make this
face like...
988
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,128
Or something like that.
I don't know.
It was great.
989
00:47:28,212 --> 00:47:29,921
I miss Arnie, but...
990
00:47:30,006 --> 00:47:32,215
Sometimes I watch
the Discovery Channel.
991
00:47:32,300 --> 00:47:33,508
I love that show.
992
00:47:33,593 --> 00:47:34,968
I don't care!
993
00:47:35,636 --> 00:47:38,180
Could you just
dance for me, please?
994
00:47:38,389 --> 00:47:42,225
No, that's my favorite...
Well, was my favorite shirt.
995
00:47:42,977 --> 00:47:43,977
Okay...
996
00:47:44,437 --> 00:47:45,437
Hey.
997
00:47:46,397 --> 00:47:47,564
What?
998
00:47:49,150 --> 00:47:50,400
Nothing.
999
00:47:51,736 --> 00:47:53,528
It's a crazy party, huh?
1000
00:48:03,706 --> 00:48:06,416
You don't worry about him.
You don't worry about him.
1001
00:48:08,211 --> 00:48:11,380
He's a maniac.
You're a maniac,
you know that?
1002
00:48:13,257 --> 00:48:14,883
(MUFFLED SHOUTS)
1003
00:48:17,887 --> 00:48:21,139
Stifler, why in the world
are you focused on me?
1004
00:48:21,224 --> 00:48:22,933
I'm just surprised to
see you don't have tits.
1005
00:48:24,018 --> 00:48:26,269
How can I clean you
if you are not dirty?
1006
00:48:26,854 --> 00:48:30,357
Go put something on
that I must clean off
with my tongue.
1007
00:48:30,983 --> 00:48:31,983
Oh!
1008
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,277
Anything for a French person.
1009
00:48:34,529 --> 00:48:36,571
If you insist, fräulein.
1010
00:48:48,876 --> 00:48:50,127
Ah!
1011
00:48:52,422 --> 00:48:54,548
Look at you,
you pathetic
little weasel.
1012
00:48:55,049 --> 00:48:56,383
Can't I just watch?
1013
00:48:57,218 --> 00:49:00,637
Look, you don't have to
do anything
if you don't want to.
1014
00:49:00,721 --> 00:49:01,847
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
1015
00:49:01,931 --> 00:49:06,017
Hold on!
Don't break character
ever again, okay?
1016
00:49:06,102 --> 00:49:08,103
I don't care
if Kevin starts crying
1017
00:49:08,187 --> 00:49:09,646
because Finch
bit his cock off.
1018
00:49:09,730 --> 00:49:11,440
You're a dirty cop,
you're a prissy maid.
1019
00:49:11,816 --> 00:49:14,526
And I'm your filthy cabana boy
in need of
punishment and cleaning.
1020
00:49:14,902 --> 00:49:17,404
Don't you ever mouth
off to Officer Krystal,
1021
00:49:17,488 --> 00:49:19,239
you dirty little pervert!
Okay.
1022
00:49:19,323 --> 00:49:21,241
Now obey!
I obey!
1023
00:49:22,493 --> 00:49:23,577
Jesus.
1024
00:49:41,262 --> 00:49:42,471
Hey, guys,
are we having dinner?
1025
00:49:48,436 --> 00:49:49,478
Let me get that.
1026
00:49:52,773 --> 00:49:53,773
Holy shit!
1027
00:49:53,900 --> 00:49:54,900
Stifler.
1028
00:49:54,984 --> 00:49:57,777
I've got something really nice
cooking up for you inside.
1029
00:49:57,862 --> 00:49:59,070
Well, we love surprises.
1030
00:49:59,155 --> 00:50:01,031
Stifler, you said
you spoke to Jim.
1031
00:50:01,115 --> 00:50:02,782
I did. I was secret
about it and everything.
1032
00:50:02,867 --> 00:50:04,534
He said he'd be
the only one here tonight.
1033
00:50:04,619 --> 00:50:06,369
What the fuck,
Shitbreak?
1034
00:50:06,454 --> 00:50:07,662
It's chocolate.
1035
00:50:08,706 --> 00:50:11,458
I told everyone that
you were up north
with my parents.
1036
00:50:11,542 --> 00:50:14,920
So we won't be bothered.
We can just totally relax.
No worries.
1037
00:50:15,296 --> 00:50:16,671
(MARY CHUCKLES)
1038
00:50:16,756 --> 00:50:18,882
Please come on in.
Make yourselves at home.
Right this way.
1039
00:50:18,966 --> 00:50:20,133
Thank you.
1040
00:50:23,221 --> 00:50:24,387
(GASPS)
1041
00:50:24,472 --> 00:50:25,472
What?
1042
00:50:26,224 --> 00:50:27,557
Pink roses.
1043
00:50:28,100 --> 00:50:29,726
JIM: Pink roses.
1044
00:50:31,062 --> 00:50:32,604
They're nice, aren't they?
1045
00:50:32,772 --> 00:50:34,314
Yes, artificial. Nice try.
1046
00:50:34,398 --> 00:50:35,899
(ALL CHUCKLING)
1047
00:50:36,067 --> 00:50:37,734
I almost got you.
1048
00:50:40,071 --> 00:50:43,615
So, has Michelle ever
told you the story of how
we fell in love?
1049
00:50:43,950 --> 00:50:45,951
Why don't you retell us now?
1050
00:50:46,077 --> 00:50:49,246
It's one of
my favorite stories.
Where should I begin?
1051
00:50:49,664 --> 00:50:51,164
(CLEARS THROAT)
1052
00:50:51,249 --> 00:50:53,166
Let's see...
1053
00:50:53,459 --> 00:50:57,254
Well, I suppose it
all started at...
1054
00:51:01,968 --> 00:51:03,385
Tall Oaks.
1055
00:51:04,303 --> 00:51:06,805
That's right. At Tall Oaks.
1056
00:51:06,973 --> 00:51:09,849
That was the summer
when... Oh!
1057
00:51:09,976 --> 00:51:11,935
Oh! The summer
that was so hot!
1058
00:51:12,019 --> 00:51:13,186
So hot.
1059
00:51:13,312 --> 00:51:14,771
All right, look what I got.
1060
00:51:14,897 --> 00:51:16,356
Jesus!
1061
00:51:16,899 --> 00:51:17,899
Hey, there.
1062
00:51:17,984 --> 00:51:18,984
Guy, there!
1063
00:51:19,527 --> 00:51:22,320
Jim, I cannot believe you.
1064
00:51:23,906 --> 00:51:24,990
You can't?
1065
00:51:25,074 --> 00:51:28,868
You hired help
on our account. That is
entirely unnecessary.
1066
00:51:29,078 --> 00:51:31,454
But I will have
some of that wine, sir.
1067
00:51:31,539 --> 00:51:32,831
Say please, Harold.
1068
00:51:32,999 --> 00:51:34,332
Please. Of course.
1069
00:51:35,418 --> 00:51:36,418
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Absolutely.
1070
00:51:36,544 --> 00:51:37,544
It's what he's here for.
1071
00:51:37,670 --> 00:51:39,129
The wine. Obviously.
1072
00:51:39,213 --> 00:51:40,505
Evidently.
1073
00:51:40,631 --> 00:51:41,881
What else would
you be here for?
1074
00:51:42,008 --> 00:51:46,177
And I certainly appreciate
your courtesy, sir.
1075
00:51:49,223 --> 00:51:51,182
Yes, we have right here
1076
00:51:51,267 --> 00:51:56,021
a 1999 Cabernet Say-vun-nun.
1077
00:51:57,273 --> 00:52:00,650
Full-bodied, masculine wine.
1078
00:52:00,735 --> 00:52:03,528
Just shouts sophistication.
1079
00:52:05,531 --> 00:52:06,990
James?
Yes?
1080
00:52:07,074 --> 00:52:10,410
I can see
you're very surprised
to see me here.
1081
00:52:10,494 --> 00:52:11,745
Little bit.
1082
00:52:11,912 --> 00:52:13,163
I'm going to go
check on the dogs.
1083
00:52:13,247 --> 00:52:16,791
Yes! In fact why don't
you both go check
on the dogs and...
1084
00:52:16,876 --> 00:52:20,253
No! Don't check on the dogs.
They're fine.
1085
00:52:20,504 --> 00:52:21,713
How do you know?
1086
00:52:21,797 --> 00:52:23,214
Because I just
checked on the dogs.
1087
00:52:23,257 --> 00:52:25,008
Because he
checked on the dogs.
I did.
1088
00:52:25,092 --> 00:52:26,259
Good work, man.
1089
00:52:26,385 --> 00:52:27,552
Jim, I'll help
you with the turkey.
1090
00:52:27,637 --> 00:52:29,387
Okay.
1091
00:52:29,513 --> 00:52:31,264
And I'll keep
you company.
1092
00:52:31,432 --> 00:52:32,766
Thank you.
1093
00:52:33,893 --> 00:52:36,770
So, how long have you been
a sommelier, Mister...
1094
00:52:36,854 --> 00:52:37,896
Belvedere, ma'am.
1095
00:52:38,022 --> 00:52:39,064
Belvedere.
1096
00:52:41,275 --> 00:52:42,317
It's chilly in here.
1097
00:52:43,235 --> 00:52:45,111
So, how long do we
have to stay in here for?
1098
00:52:45,863 --> 00:52:47,781
I don't know.
They said to hide.
1099
00:52:47,948 --> 00:52:49,866
I guess we'll just
wait for them to call us.
1100
00:52:50,159 --> 00:52:52,827
Who knows what
kind of kinky shit
they're getting ready for.
1101
00:52:52,912 --> 00:52:55,205
Do these go in your
ass tonight, or mine?
1102
00:52:58,793 --> 00:53:01,127
You have
a serving dish ready?
1103
00:53:01,879 --> 00:53:03,797
Jim, we need
a serving dish.
Hmm?
1104
00:53:03,881 --> 00:53:05,632
Oh! Yeah, of course.
1105
00:53:06,258 --> 00:53:07,300
Oh!
1106
00:53:07,718 --> 00:53:08,843
What?
1107
00:53:10,346 --> 00:53:11,346
Nothing.
1108
00:53:12,098 --> 00:53:13,348
Then why the excitement?
1109
00:53:13,432 --> 00:53:15,433
I thought the dish
was broken.
1110
00:53:15,768 --> 00:53:17,560
Well, is it?
No.
1111
00:53:17,645 --> 00:53:19,396
Then are you
going to get it?
Yes.
1112
00:53:30,950 --> 00:53:32,742
Here you go.
One serving dish.
1113
00:53:32,868 --> 00:53:34,661
Excellent. Now what we need:
1114
00:53:34,745 --> 00:53:36,079
A cutting board.
1115
00:53:36,163 --> 00:53:37,163
No, stop!
1116
00:53:37,248 --> 00:53:38,248
What?
1117
00:53:38,332 --> 00:53:39,541
I will get it for you.
1118
00:53:39,625 --> 00:53:41,876
Nonsense,
I can get a cutting board.
1119
00:53:42,169 --> 00:53:46,506
Let's see, there you go.
This should do nicely.
1120
00:53:47,007 --> 00:53:49,592
I presume
we're having white wine
with the turkey.
1121
00:53:50,344 --> 00:53:52,137
Let me go check.
1122
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:55,974
(MARY CHUCKLES)
1123
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,393
What happened here?
1124
00:53:59,103 --> 00:54:00,353
JIM: Oh, um...
1125
00:54:00,563 --> 00:54:04,274
That's mud.
I meant to clean
that up this morning.
1126
00:54:04,442 --> 00:54:05,817
How embarrassing.
1127
00:54:05,901 --> 00:54:08,319
That's gonna stain.
We're gonna need a mop.
1128
00:54:08,404 --> 00:54:09,779
I'll get it.
It's in this closet.
1129
00:54:09,905 --> 00:54:11,281
No.
1130
00:54:12,158 --> 00:54:13,575
No, it's not.
1131
00:54:13,659 --> 00:54:14,826
It's in there.
1132
00:54:14,952 --> 00:54:16,119
It's not in this closet,
1133
00:54:16,203 --> 00:54:19,622
because I moved it.
1134
00:54:20,416 --> 00:54:22,000
Where? I'll go get it.
1135
00:54:22,168 --> 00:54:23,751
I don't remember.
1136
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:26,212
You don't remember?
1137
00:54:26,338 --> 00:54:27,672
You know why
I don't remember
1138
00:54:27,756 --> 00:54:29,591
is because I actually
did not move it.
1139
00:54:29,675 --> 00:54:31,551
The cleaning lady did.
1140
00:54:31,635 --> 00:54:33,928
Your mother said
you don't have
a cleaning lady.
1141
00:54:34,013 --> 00:54:36,139
I don't know why
she would say such a...
1142
00:54:36,223 --> 00:54:37,348
You called, master?
1143
00:54:37,475 --> 00:54:38,558
Holy...
1144
00:54:39,393 --> 00:54:40,810
Well, there you are. Hello.
1145
00:54:40,936 --> 00:54:42,103
How do you do?
1146
00:54:43,522 --> 00:54:44,522
Uh...
1147
00:54:44,607 --> 00:54:49,235
So, cleaning lady,
we were wondering
where the mop was.
1148
00:54:50,154 --> 00:54:52,572
Master put
the mop in my fanny.
1149
00:54:53,199 --> 00:54:55,158
You what?
Who put what where?
1150
00:54:55,242 --> 00:54:57,535
I did no such thing anywhere.
1151
00:54:58,329 --> 00:54:59,871
Shall I clean?
(GIGGLES)
1152
00:55:03,542 --> 00:55:04,542
Harold!
1153
00:55:04,710 --> 00:55:06,127
(BOTH GIGGLING)
1154
00:55:06,587 --> 00:55:07,629
(SIGHS)
1155
00:55:07,713 --> 00:55:10,215
Very well.
It is so hot in here!
1156
00:55:11,759 --> 00:55:12,800
(SCREAMS)
1157
00:55:12,885 --> 00:55:14,302
Holy Jesus!
1158
00:55:16,096 --> 00:55:17,847
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1159
00:55:18,224 --> 00:55:19,224
(SCREAMS)
1160
00:55:19,725 --> 00:55:21,434
Brandi, Brandi,
what are you doing?
1161
00:55:21,602 --> 00:55:23,353
You're not in
Eastern Europe anymore.
1162
00:55:23,437 --> 00:55:27,232
You can't do that.
I am so sorry
about my cousin.
1163
00:55:27,316 --> 00:55:29,067
She's not used to
our customs.
1164
00:55:29,401 --> 00:55:32,153
Jim, I apologize
for recommending her to you.
1165
00:55:32,279 --> 00:55:35,156
Here's this, by the way.
1166
00:55:35,241 --> 00:55:36,324
Ah!
1167
00:55:36,784 --> 00:55:38,159
Got the mop.
1168
00:55:38,244 --> 00:55:41,371
Brandi,
you left the mop
in the car.
1169
00:55:41,455 --> 00:55:43,373
Now remember,
it's called a car,
1170
00:55:43,457 --> 00:55:44,791
not a fanny.
1171
00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:47,043
Remember last time
when you wanted me
1172
00:55:47,127 --> 00:55:49,379
to take a ride
in your fanny.
(LAUGHS)
1173
00:55:50,673 --> 00:55:52,465
BRANDl:
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
1174
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,009
You know what?
We should
probably just go.
1175
00:55:55,094 --> 00:55:56,886
I'm so sorry about this.
1176
00:55:56,971 --> 00:55:58,888
I came by to
make sure everything
was in order.
1177
00:55:59,014 --> 00:56:00,974
The food smells great.
1178
00:56:01,308 --> 00:56:02,976
BRANDl: Au revoir.
1179
00:56:03,936 --> 00:56:06,271
Jim, you have
unique friends.
1180
00:56:07,273 --> 00:56:08,273
Harold!
1181
00:56:08,607 --> 00:56:10,984
Let's get that
cleaned up.
1182
00:56:11,068 --> 00:56:13,570
I think I saw some
Pine-Sol in here, too.
1183
00:56:14,530 --> 00:56:15,572
(SCREAMS)
1184
00:56:15,656 --> 00:56:16,864
My gosh!
Baby, Mary and Joseph.
1185
00:56:16,949 --> 00:56:18,116
Oh, my Lord!
1186
00:56:18,701 --> 00:56:19,742
He's okay.
1187
00:56:19,827 --> 00:56:21,244
Are you all right?
(MUFFLED RESPONSE)
1188
00:56:21,328 --> 00:56:22,495
Who did this to you?
1189
00:56:22,621 --> 00:56:23,788
I'm sure he's okay.
You okay?
1190
00:56:23,872 --> 00:56:27,166
Get some help!
Harold, call the police!
1191
00:56:28,419 --> 00:56:29,544
All right!
1192
00:56:29,628 --> 00:56:30,753
Jesus.
1193
00:56:30,838 --> 00:56:32,005
I'll take charge
from here!
1194
00:56:32,089 --> 00:56:34,674
My God, they are fast here.
And nicely attired.
1195
00:56:34,758 --> 00:56:36,134
What's going on here?
1196
00:56:36,218 --> 00:56:37,760
She's here to
protect and serve.
1197
00:56:37,845 --> 00:56:39,012
Quiet!
Okay.
1198
00:56:39,096 --> 00:56:40,430
Who let this boy
out of the closet?
1199
00:56:40,514 --> 00:56:41,598
(STUTTERS)
1200
00:56:41,682 --> 00:56:43,016
You are all in for
a hard punishment now.
1201
00:56:43,100 --> 00:56:44,976
Don't you touch him!
He's been hurt.
1202
00:56:45,185 --> 00:56:46,811
No. This is hurt!
1203
00:56:47,187 --> 00:56:48,354
You can't do that.
1204
00:56:48,439 --> 00:56:50,189
Silence, fucker!
Ow!
1205
00:56:50,441 --> 00:56:51,441
You like it.
1206
00:56:51,525 --> 00:56:52,525
Oh!
1207
00:56:52,610 --> 00:56:54,694
Harold,
what's gotten into you?
1208
00:56:54,778 --> 00:56:55,903
I meant... Ow!
1209
00:56:55,988 --> 00:56:58,531
Dirty whore.
Shut your hole. Obey!
1210
00:56:58,741 --> 00:56:59,991
(SCREAMING)
1211
00:57:00,075 --> 00:57:01,576
HAROLD:
You can't do that.
1212
00:57:01,660 --> 00:57:02,869
You're a disgrace
to the police force.
1213
00:57:02,995 --> 00:57:04,621
I'll be giving you
an enema!
1214
00:57:04,705 --> 00:57:06,456
Hey, somebody untie me!
1215
00:57:06,540 --> 00:57:07,582
Wait, not the face.
Back off!
1216
00:57:07,666 --> 00:57:09,917
All right, forget it.
We give up.
1217
00:57:10,002 --> 00:57:11,461
Steven!
1218
00:57:11,545 --> 00:57:12,879
It's okay, Mary.
1219
00:57:13,005 --> 00:57:14,380
What's going on?
1220
00:57:15,090 --> 00:57:17,133
Listen,
this isn't working, guys.
1221
00:57:17,217 --> 00:57:19,969
Krystal, you can drop the act.
This isn't a real cop.
1222
00:57:20,721 --> 00:57:22,722
Kevin wasn't assaulted.
1223
00:57:22,806 --> 00:57:25,308
I just wanted to
make Jim look good
for you guys.
1224
00:57:25,392 --> 00:57:26,851
Like a real hero.
1225
00:57:26,935 --> 00:57:28,102
Kind of like me.
1226
00:57:28,187 --> 00:57:31,481
We hired a fake cop,
tied up Kevin,
and put him in the closet.
1227
00:57:31,565 --> 00:57:34,233
Jim was supposed to
rescue him, untie him,
give him mouth-to-mouth.
1228
00:57:34,318 --> 00:57:36,277
I don't know
what he likes to do.
1229
00:57:36,362 --> 00:57:39,572
Then Paul Finch
hired an exotic dancer
instead of a real actor.
1230
00:57:40,658 --> 00:57:41,824
Jim, is this true?
1231
00:57:44,078 --> 00:57:45,536
Every word of it.
1232
00:57:45,621 --> 00:57:47,789
That is the stupidest idea
I have ever heard.
1233
00:57:47,873 --> 00:57:51,501
You've embarrassed me, Harold,
and Mr. Belvedere.
1234
00:57:52,086 --> 00:57:53,419
What?
1235
00:57:53,545 --> 00:57:54,879
It's all my fault.
I'm a bad person.
1236
00:57:55,089 --> 00:57:57,423
Oh! You're not a bad person.
1237
00:57:57,508 --> 00:58:00,510
You were just
trying to help out
your best friend.
1238
00:58:00,594 --> 00:58:04,514
It was an awful idea,
but I suppose
it's the thought that counts.
1239
00:58:05,474 --> 00:58:07,392
You know, actually,
1240
00:58:08,268 --> 00:58:09,936
(STAMMERING)
1241
00:58:10,729 --> 00:58:12,772
I never should have allowed
1242
00:58:12,856 --> 00:58:16,401
such a crazy plan to
happen in the first place.
1243
00:58:16,485 --> 00:58:19,946
If you're gonna
blame anybody here,
1244
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:21,447
blame me.
1245
00:58:21,532 --> 00:58:22,865
I'm sorry, Jim.
I didn't realize
1246
00:58:22,950 --> 00:58:24,409
how much pressure
we put on you.
1247
00:58:24,660 --> 00:58:28,538
I'm sure you both
learned your lesson,
and I suppose I understand.
1248
00:58:28,622 --> 00:58:31,541
Jim, if you put
half as much energy
into your marriage
1249
00:58:31,625 --> 00:58:34,460
as you put into tonight,
I'm confident that I can
give you my blessing.
1250
00:58:37,339 --> 00:58:40,883
And, Steven,
we still adore you, honey.
1251
00:58:40,968 --> 00:58:44,429
In fact, I think I know
who should hold onto this.
1252
00:58:44,513 --> 00:58:47,265
We adore you.
You'll take good care of it.
1253
00:58:47,349 --> 00:58:48,558
You've got to
be kidding me.
1254
00:58:48,684 --> 00:58:49,892
No.
1255
00:58:50,352 --> 00:58:53,813
Lookit, Jim, Kevin.
Boy, this really makes me
important to the wedding.
1256
00:58:54,189 --> 00:58:55,314
MARY: Yes.
1257
00:58:57,234 --> 00:59:00,737
Well, Mr. Belvedere,
it's gonna be one
fucked-up wedding.
1258
00:59:01,363 --> 00:59:02,780
Absolutely.
1259
00:59:04,450 --> 00:59:06,409
Drive carefully.
More bags in the study.
1260
00:59:06,493 --> 00:59:07,577
Thank you.
1261
00:59:07,703 --> 00:59:08,828
You're welcome.
1262
00:59:13,500 --> 00:59:14,542
Ow!
1263
00:59:14,626 --> 00:59:16,002
Is there
any room for me?
1264
00:59:16,086 --> 00:59:17,503
Nope.
1265
00:59:18,213 --> 00:59:20,506
I'll just drive up
north all by myself.
1266
00:59:20,883 --> 00:59:22,800
That sounds good.
We'll see you later.
1267
00:59:22,926 --> 00:59:24,844
No, I'll drive with you.
1268
00:59:25,179 --> 00:59:28,306
Thanks, Cadence.
Beautiful lady.
1269
00:59:32,728 --> 00:59:35,480
Hey... I know. Shut up.
Kevin!
1270
00:59:45,824 --> 00:59:47,784
So, my mom found
the dogs playing
1271
00:59:47,868 --> 00:59:49,786
with something
unusual this morning.
1272
00:59:49,870 --> 00:59:51,454
What?
1273
00:59:51,538 --> 00:59:53,289
I told her it was
a neck massager.
1274
00:59:56,043 --> 00:59:57,627
These are great.
1275
01:00:21,860 --> 01:00:22,902
He's hilarious.
1276
01:00:23,070 --> 01:00:24,111
Yes.
1277
01:00:26,365 --> 01:00:28,366
That kind of thing
is so lethargic to me.
1278
01:00:30,327 --> 01:00:31,452
What do you mean?
1279
01:00:31,578 --> 01:00:32,745
I'm not sure.
1280
01:00:52,724 --> 01:00:55,852
Mr. Stifler,
I already told you
you called two days ago
1281
01:00:55,936 --> 01:00:57,770
and canceled
your reservation.
1282
01:00:57,855 --> 01:00:59,689
Since you now
wish to stay here,
1283
01:00:59,773 --> 01:01:02,400
I thought you could persuade
Mr. Finch to share his room.
1284
01:01:02,484 --> 01:01:05,152
Hey, Shithead, I didn't
cancel my reservation.
1285
01:01:05,404 --> 01:01:07,196
Mr. Fuckface Finch
called here.
1286
01:01:07,281 --> 01:01:09,824
And Mr. Idiot Behind
the Desk canceled it.
1287
01:01:09,908 --> 01:01:13,744
Christof, please pardon
my friend's uncouth behavior.
1288
01:01:14,454 --> 01:01:16,205
I did no such thing.
1289
01:01:16,331 --> 01:01:18,082
Nor did I, sir.
1290
01:01:18,458 --> 01:01:22,128
And your rudeness
and obscenities
won't change anything.
1291
01:01:22,462 --> 01:01:25,548
Well then,
I guess it doesn't matter
if I call you a crotchface,
1292
01:01:25,632 --> 01:01:27,049
you ball-scratching fucker.
1293
01:01:27,134 --> 01:01:28,885
Or better yet,
go blow your dad.
1294
01:01:28,969 --> 01:01:30,720
My dad?
Hear, hear.
1295
01:01:30,804 --> 01:01:33,556
While you're there,
stick a finger
up both their asses
1296
01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:35,641
while you're down there.
1297
01:01:37,436 --> 01:01:40,229
Finch, rudeness and obscenity
won't change anything.
1298
01:01:40,314 --> 01:01:43,816
Here's a thought:
Grow a sack,
fill it with some balls,
1299
01:01:43,901 --> 01:01:46,569
magically sprout a dick,
shove it up your ass,
1300
01:01:46,653 --> 01:01:49,488
and start fucking yourself
like, "Yeah, baby!"
1301
01:01:50,574 --> 01:01:53,326
You going
with what I'm saying?
(GRUNTING)
1302
01:01:54,328 --> 01:01:55,995
This is disgusting.
1303
01:01:56,121 --> 01:01:59,498
Why don't you go dust
with your
perverse European cousin?
1304
01:01:59,917 --> 01:02:01,375
Is she here?
1305
01:02:01,501 --> 01:02:03,002
Unbelievable.
1306
01:02:03,337 --> 01:02:05,755
I'd like to book
a tee time for my husband
1307
01:02:05,839 --> 01:02:08,841
and a European
pumpkin peel facial
for me, please.
1308
01:02:08,926 --> 01:02:10,343
Make that two.
1309
01:02:10,761 --> 01:02:12,470
JIM'S DAD: You'll have
a fun weekend, Ma.
1310
01:02:12,596 --> 01:02:14,263
I am missing my soap.
1311
01:02:14,348 --> 01:02:16,057
Don't you worry
about your soaps.
1312
01:02:16,141 --> 01:02:18,225
Will you push faster?
I'm tired.
1313
01:02:19,019 --> 01:02:20,519
And wait till
you meet Michelle.
1314
01:02:20,604 --> 01:02:22,605
You're gonna love her.
She's sweet as sugar.
1315
01:02:22,689 --> 01:02:24,148
I can't eat sugar.
1316
01:02:24,232 --> 01:02:25,942
I know,
because you're diabetic.
1317
01:02:26,652 --> 01:02:27,860
You know, Ma,
1318
01:02:27,945 --> 01:02:31,280
I know things haven't been
going well for you.
I know that.
1319
01:02:31,365 --> 01:02:35,117
But wait till you
see Jim standing up there
at the altar tomorrow.
1320
01:02:35,202 --> 01:02:39,121
If ever there was
a time to be happy
and smile the biggest smile,
1321
01:02:39,206 --> 01:02:40,539
now is the time.
1322
01:02:40,624 --> 01:02:44,418
Okay, okay. I'm overjoyed.
1323
01:02:45,379 --> 01:02:47,380
That's a start.
1324
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:51,342
Proud grandmother
coming through.
1325
01:02:52,219 --> 01:02:54,053
Grandson's getting
married tomorrow.
1326
01:02:54,137 --> 01:02:56,722
You think she's happy now,
wait till tomorrow.
1327
01:02:58,392 --> 01:03:00,142
"Congratulations."
1328
01:03:08,485 --> 01:03:09,777
"Grooming."
1329
01:03:22,165 --> 01:03:23,457
(BUZZING)
1330
01:03:43,812 --> 01:03:45,229
You got bigger.
1331
01:03:54,865 --> 01:03:57,616
The flowers
stay refrigerated
until morning...
1332
01:03:58,201 --> 01:03:59,410
Oh! I'm sure they will.
1333
01:03:59,536 --> 01:04:00,828
They're so pretty...
1334
01:04:01,121 --> 01:04:02,496
(COUGHING)
1335
01:04:05,584 --> 01:04:07,168
(ALL COUGHING)
1336
01:04:13,633 --> 01:04:15,301
Oh, Jimmy, no!
1337
01:04:16,511 --> 01:04:18,220
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1338
01:04:26,813 --> 01:04:29,106
I hope
you'll be more careful
with the next one.
1339
01:04:29,232 --> 01:04:31,692
My kitchen is
not a toilet, okay?
1340
01:04:39,367 --> 01:04:43,037
Boy, pubic hair was just not
an issue when I was dating.
1341
01:04:44,247 --> 01:04:47,291
The ladies never complained
1342
01:04:47,417 --> 01:04:50,002
when they were, you know,
down in that general area...
1343
01:04:50,087 --> 01:04:53,589
Okay, if you never
mention that ever again,
that'd be great.
1344
01:04:53,715 --> 01:04:55,716
Shouldn't have brought it up.
1345
01:04:56,093 --> 01:04:58,094
So, can I see the ring?
1346
01:04:58,261 --> 01:05:00,304
Nope. I promised
to keep it safe.
1347
01:05:01,098 --> 01:05:02,598
It's not leaving my pocket.
1348
01:05:02,724 --> 01:05:04,225
Okay, Frodo.
1349
01:05:04,601 --> 01:05:06,268
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1350
01:05:07,104 --> 01:05:10,272
You really care
about this wedding,
don't you?
1351
01:05:11,608 --> 01:05:14,777
I'm gonna cry
at the ceremony.
I know it.
1352
01:05:15,987 --> 01:05:17,029
(SIGHS)
1353
01:05:17,239 --> 01:05:19,448
Are you just saying
all of this?
1354
01:05:19,533 --> 01:05:23,410
I mean, do you
act differently around
certain people?
1355
01:05:23,954 --> 01:05:25,287
Namely me?
1356
01:05:25,539 --> 01:05:29,125
Of course not. Why?
Do you act differently
around me?
1357
01:05:29,543 --> 01:05:33,629
Generally, I'm just me.
If people don't like it,
that's their problem.
1358
01:05:33,797 --> 01:05:35,256
Yeah. Fuck those fuckers.
1359
01:05:35,382 --> 01:05:36,841
What?
1360
01:05:38,093 --> 01:05:39,635
I didn't...
1361
01:05:39,803 --> 01:05:41,303
No, you're right. Fuck 'em.
1362
01:05:46,977 --> 01:05:48,644
Hey, Harold and Mary!
1363
01:05:48,812 --> 01:05:50,479
Hi, kids.
1364
01:05:51,314 --> 01:05:52,815
How's it going?
1365
01:05:54,025 --> 01:05:56,068
Come on. Thanks for
watching the dogs.
1366
01:05:56,153 --> 01:05:59,280
I love these guys.
Hey, guys, want more
Snausages? Huh?
1367
01:05:59,990 --> 01:06:01,490
There you go.
1368
01:06:01,992 --> 01:06:03,200
Eat 'em up.
Give me some.
1369
01:06:03,326 --> 01:06:04,577
There you go.
1370
01:06:05,162 --> 01:06:07,830
I don't think
I have any left.
1371
01:06:09,249 --> 01:06:10,332
What's wrong?
1372
01:06:10,500 --> 01:06:11,625
Shit.
1373
01:06:12,169 --> 01:06:13,669
Are you okay?
1374
01:06:16,882 --> 01:06:18,007
Yeah.
1375
01:06:21,178 --> 01:06:22,678
You kissed Stifler?
1376
01:06:22,846 --> 01:06:24,346
Yeah. But then he freaked.
1377
01:06:24,514 --> 01:06:27,516
It's like he's been
paying more attention
to the dogs than me.
1378
01:06:27,601 --> 01:06:29,226
Can I stop worrying then?
1379
01:06:29,352 --> 01:06:31,770
Michelle, he's been
nothing but nice to me.
1380
01:06:31,855 --> 01:06:34,690
I mean, do you think
he really likes you?
1381
01:06:35,358 --> 01:06:39,486
I don't know.
I hope he likes me.
I mean, I think he likes me.
1382
01:06:41,865 --> 01:06:43,908
Yeah, I guess
I hope he likes me.
1383
01:06:47,370 --> 01:06:48,537
Do it.
1384
01:06:49,706 --> 01:06:53,542
Don't fuck around.
Just relax and let it go.
1385
01:06:55,045 --> 01:06:56,879
I'm sick of waiting.
1386
01:06:57,380 --> 01:06:59,048
Do it for Daddy.
1387
01:06:59,591 --> 01:07:02,092
Will you just
take a shit already?
1388
01:07:03,637 --> 01:07:04,637
Great.
1389
01:07:05,138 --> 01:07:08,015
You fed the ring to the dogs,
didn't you?
1390
01:07:08,224 --> 01:07:09,475
(SCOFFS)
1391
01:07:09,935 --> 01:07:11,268
(SNICKERS)
1392
01:07:12,812 --> 01:07:13,979
Of course not!
1393
01:07:14,105 --> 01:07:17,316
You have been staring
at those dogs
like a hawk all day.
1394
01:07:17,442 --> 01:07:19,109
I'm a dog lover.
1395
01:07:20,195 --> 01:07:24,615
By the way,
apparently you missed
when Cadence kissed me.
1396
01:07:26,326 --> 01:07:29,870
Slight tongue action, too.
It was something like this.
1397
01:07:30,121 --> 01:07:31,455
(WARBLES)
1398
01:07:31,539 --> 01:07:33,415
You're a terrible liar,
Stifler.
1399
01:07:33,667 --> 01:07:36,627
If I were lying,
I'd think of something better
than a kiss.
1400
01:07:36,711 --> 01:07:39,171
Maybe a blow job
or some tittie grabbing.
1401
01:07:40,048 --> 01:07:42,132
No pussy for you, Finch.
1402
01:07:43,343 --> 01:07:44,426
(SIGHS)
1403
01:07:44,511 --> 01:07:47,846
Fucking right, doggy!
It's about goddamn time!
1404
01:07:48,473 --> 01:07:49,807
Jackpot!
1405
01:07:49,891 --> 01:07:53,560
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have some shit to attend to.
1406
01:08:09,995 --> 01:08:11,745
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
1407
01:08:14,165 --> 01:08:15,416
Thanks, assholes.
1408
01:08:16,251 --> 01:08:17,584
MARY: Yeah,
maybe you can call him.
1409
01:08:17,669 --> 01:08:18,669
WOMAN: Okay.
1410
01:08:18,753 --> 01:08:20,921
Steve, come over here.
1411
01:08:23,842 --> 01:08:24,925
Uh...
1412
01:08:25,343 --> 01:08:26,635
I'm a little busy.
1413
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:29,054
MARY: With what?
Come on over.
We need you.
1414
01:08:29,180 --> 01:08:30,723
Get over here,
you little rascal.
1415
01:08:30,849 --> 01:08:34,393
We were talking about
Michelle's wedding band.
Could I see it?
1416
01:08:34,853 --> 01:08:35,978
Um...
1417
01:08:36,896 --> 01:08:38,772
No.
No?
1418
01:08:39,941 --> 01:08:41,608
I don't have it.
What?
1419
01:08:41,735 --> 01:08:42,985
You mean you lost it?
1420
01:08:43,111 --> 01:08:44,403
Of course not.
1421
01:08:44,529 --> 01:08:46,989
I'm keeping it safe
in my room,
you silly Sally!
1422
01:08:47,073 --> 01:08:48,574
Thank goodness.
I apologize.
1423
01:08:48,700 --> 01:08:50,117
That's fine.
I'll see it later.
1424
01:08:50,243 --> 01:08:51,702
Okay. All right, then.
1425
01:08:51,786 --> 01:08:53,495
What do you have
in your hand?
1426
01:08:56,750 --> 01:08:57,833
This one?
1427
01:08:57,917 --> 01:08:59,001
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1428
01:08:59,085 --> 01:09:00,836
No, the other one.
1429
01:09:02,756 --> 01:09:04,840
It's a chocolate truffle.
1430
01:09:04,924 --> 01:09:06,133
Ooo! Yummy.
1431
01:09:06,259 --> 01:09:07,551
Where did you get that?
1432
01:09:08,595 --> 01:09:12,431
The caterer said
she was saving
the truffles for tomorrow.
1433
01:09:12,599 --> 01:09:14,349
You sneaky devil.
1434
01:09:16,436 --> 01:09:19,271
Well, hey,
I managed to sneak
one right past her.
1435
01:09:19,606 --> 01:09:21,523
Come on,
this woman
loves chocolate.
1436
01:09:21,608 --> 01:09:22,858
At least give
her a tiny nibble.
1437
01:09:22,984 --> 01:09:24,276
Give it to Momma.
1438
01:09:24,527 --> 01:09:27,696
Momma don't want this.
This is the only piece
that I have.
1439
01:09:27,781 --> 01:09:28,781
Idiot.
1440
01:09:28,948 --> 01:09:30,199
Break it in half.
Come on.
1441
01:09:30,325 --> 01:09:31,617
You know what?
1442
01:09:31,743 --> 01:09:33,869
Let's just leave
the surprises till tomorrow.
1443
01:09:33,953 --> 01:09:35,120
It's gonna be a great day.
1444
01:09:35,288 --> 01:09:36,455
I'd like
my surprise right now.
1445
01:09:36,581 --> 01:09:38,248
No, it's mine.
Come on!
1446
01:09:39,042 --> 01:09:40,626
Give it to me.
No.
1447
01:09:40,752 --> 01:09:42,461
Give the darn truffle.
1448
01:09:42,921 --> 01:09:44,004
(GASPS)
1449
01:09:44,798 --> 01:09:47,299
HAROLD: Steven,
that is so selfish.
(GAGGING)
1450
01:09:48,051 --> 01:09:49,259
It's good.
1451
01:09:49,344 --> 01:09:50,677
Is it? Is it sweet?
1452
01:09:52,472 --> 01:09:53,972
It's so sweet.
1453
01:09:54,849 --> 01:09:56,141
(GAGGING)
1454
01:09:56,810 --> 01:09:59,645
Close your mouth
when you chew, Steven.
1455
01:09:59,729 --> 01:10:00,813
Don't do that.
1456
01:10:00,939 --> 01:10:04,817
At least you could describe
to the lovely woman
how delicious it is.
1457
01:10:06,820 --> 01:10:09,488
Well, tastes like twigs
and berries.
1458
01:10:09,656 --> 01:10:11,448
Is it Swiss or
French chocolate?
1459
01:10:11,825 --> 01:10:13,408
Maybe German.
1460
01:10:13,493 --> 01:10:16,078
Really? Is it creamy?
1461
01:10:17,288 --> 01:10:18,497
Yeah, it's creamy.
1462
01:10:18,623 --> 01:10:19,832
Easy to go down, right?
1463
01:10:19,916 --> 01:10:22,501
Well, I'm trying to
savor the flavor right now.
1464
01:10:22,836 --> 01:10:24,002
Is it fresh?
1465
01:10:24,170 --> 01:10:25,337
It's so fresh.
1466
01:10:25,463 --> 01:10:26,922
Nothing better than
when they're fresh.
1467
01:10:27,048 --> 01:10:28,507
Nothing better.
1468
01:10:28,633 --> 01:10:31,009
The problem is
you can't eat
just one, can you?
1469
01:10:31,136 --> 01:10:32,511
No, you can't.
1470
01:10:32,595 --> 01:10:35,097
But you've got to
know when to stop,
don't you?
1471
01:10:35,181 --> 01:10:37,516
You really do, but it's hard.
It's really hard.
1472
01:10:37,642 --> 01:10:39,685
Droppings
from the gods.
1473
01:10:40,854 --> 01:10:42,521
Get me another one, darling.
Come on.
1474
01:10:42,605 --> 01:10:45,274
You selfish boy.
Next time,
bring enough for everybody.
1475
01:10:45,358 --> 01:10:47,943
Let's keep this to ourselves?
Okay?
1476
01:10:48,027 --> 01:10:49,153
Okay.
1477
01:10:49,279 --> 01:10:50,445
I gotta go, okay.
1478
01:10:50,613 --> 01:10:53,532
Don't have any more,
because it's gonna
spoil your appetite.
1479
01:10:53,658 --> 01:10:56,660
Okay.
Hey, look, man, I gotta go.
1480
01:10:58,496 --> 01:10:59,705
(GROANS)
1481
01:11:03,209 --> 01:11:06,295
Grandma, I want you
to meet some people.
1482
01:11:08,715 --> 01:11:10,632
Grandma, this is Michelle.
1483
01:11:10,717 --> 01:11:13,302
I'm so proud to be
joining your family.
1484
01:11:13,720 --> 01:11:15,429
JIM:
She's real pretty, huh?
1485
01:11:17,473 --> 01:11:20,142
Isn't it great?
We're getting married.
1486
01:11:20,518 --> 01:11:22,269
It's amazing, Gram.
1487
01:11:25,231 --> 01:11:28,692
Not Jewish!
No wedding, Jimmy!
No wedding.
1488
01:11:29,152 --> 01:11:30,861
Forget it.
Grandma.
1489
01:11:30,945 --> 01:11:32,029
A goyeh!
1490
01:11:32,113 --> 01:11:33,238
Shit.
1491
01:11:33,364 --> 01:11:34,489
Jim, she hates me.
1492
01:11:34,657 --> 01:11:35,824
(GRUMBLES)
1493
01:11:36,284 --> 01:11:37,784
Oh, my God!
1494
01:11:37,869 --> 01:11:40,204
Grandma, look,
we love each other.
1495
01:11:40,288 --> 01:11:42,372
Michelle and I
love each other very much.
1496
01:11:42,498 --> 01:11:44,583
That's all that matters.
Grandma? Grandma?
1497
01:11:46,628 --> 01:11:48,337
Michelle? Michelle?
1498
01:11:50,965 --> 01:11:53,300
JIM'S DAD:
But Grandma's okay?
JIM: Oh, she's okay.
1499
01:11:53,426 --> 01:11:56,637
Oh, yeah, Dad. She's okay.
She's just a little tired.
1500
01:11:57,639 --> 01:12:00,515
My mother hasn't been well.
She's been feeling...
1501
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:03,143
When your dad sees the look
on Grandma's face,
1502
01:12:03,228 --> 01:12:06,271
it's gonna break his heart.
Because of me.
1503
01:12:07,148 --> 01:12:10,525
It's not because of you.
Michelle, it's not
because of you at all.
1504
01:12:10,777 --> 01:12:13,695
It's because
Grandma thinks it's 1801.
1505
01:12:13,780 --> 01:12:17,491
Look, don't worry.
I'll come up with something.
1506
01:12:18,409 --> 01:12:20,577
I promised you
the wedding of your dreams
1507
01:12:20,703 --> 01:12:22,955
and I'm not gonna
let anything ruin it.
1508
01:12:24,165 --> 01:12:25,666
Oh! (CLEARS THROAT)
1509
01:12:26,084 --> 01:12:28,460
I would like to
propose a toast.
1510
01:12:28,544 --> 01:12:30,796
These last few weeks
have really been something
1511
01:12:30,880 --> 01:12:32,464
for my lovely wife and me.
1512
01:12:32,548 --> 01:12:35,801
We have met some people
we didn't know existed.
1513
01:12:35,885 --> 01:12:39,304
We've experienced
some things we didn't
think were possible.
1514
01:12:39,389 --> 01:12:42,516
We've always tried to make
the best of every situation.
1515
01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:44,393
This is a good situation.
1516
01:12:44,519 --> 01:12:47,521
That's what I'm saying.
This is a wonderful situation.
1517
01:12:47,605 --> 01:12:51,692
The coming
together of two families
from different backgrounds.
1518
01:12:51,776 --> 01:12:55,445
So to our new son-in-law,
may we say Éireann go Bráugh.
1519
01:12:55,655 --> 01:12:58,824
And to our lovely
daughter Michelle,
L'Chaim.
1520
01:12:58,908 --> 01:13:00,742
Did I get that right?
Very good.
1521
01:13:00,827 --> 01:13:04,329
And let's hope we can
sit many happy
shivas together.
1522
01:13:06,165 --> 01:13:08,041
Here's to
a wonderful wedding.
1523
01:13:08,126 --> 01:13:09,710
Cheers.
Cheers.
1524
01:13:15,425 --> 01:13:18,093
See that, Shitbreak?
I told you I won.
1525
01:13:20,888 --> 01:13:21,888
Hey.
Hey.
1526
01:13:23,349 --> 01:13:28,020
I just wanted to say
I'm sorry if I freaked you out
with the whole kiss thing.
1527
01:13:28,521 --> 01:13:30,230
You didn't freak me out.
1528
01:13:30,315 --> 01:13:32,983
I just wanted to
let you know that
1529
01:13:33,818 --> 01:13:35,861
you make me feel special.
1530
01:13:36,779 --> 01:13:40,282
I think you're
the most special girl
I've ever known.
1531
01:13:41,409 --> 01:13:44,911
Maybe you'd
want to make things
extra special tonight.
1532
01:13:45,913 --> 01:13:47,789
Which room is yours?
1533
01:13:48,082 --> 01:13:50,083
I'm crashing at Kevin's.
1534
01:13:50,293 --> 01:13:51,418
Damn.
1535
01:13:51,586 --> 01:13:52,669
But I saw
1536
01:13:52,754 --> 01:13:56,465
a big, fluffy linen closet
at the end of
the main hallway.
1537
01:13:57,175 --> 01:13:58,175
Yes. Big,
fluffy linen closet is good.
1538
01:13:58,301 --> 01:13:59,343
Okay.
1539
01:13:59,427 --> 01:14:00,635
Midnight?
Yeah.
1540
01:14:00,720 --> 01:14:02,095
All right.
Okay.
1541
01:14:02,263 --> 01:14:03,430
Oh!
1542
01:14:05,391 --> 01:14:07,934
(SINGING) I'm going to
have-a sex-a with-a Cadence
1543
01:14:08,061 --> 01:14:10,604
I'm going to have-a
sex-a with-a Cadence
1544
01:14:10,813 --> 01:14:12,022
Whoo!
1545
01:14:16,444 --> 01:14:19,154
Jesus! You fucking stalker!
1546
01:14:19,989 --> 01:14:21,990
You're not
a very stealthy thief.
1547
01:14:22,116 --> 01:14:24,117
Really?
Guess what, Shitbreak?
1548
01:14:24,202 --> 01:14:26,119
It's a wedding.
Everything's free.
1549
01:14:26,287 --> 01:14:27,954
What do you want?
1550
01:14:29,290 --> 01:14:32,459
Stifler, Jim's grandma
doesn't approve
of the wedding.
1551
01:14:32,960 --> 01:14:35,337
We're trying to
run interference,
1552
01:14:36,339 --> 01:14:39,299
and, reluctantly,
I am asking for your help.
1553
01:14:39,634 --> 01:14:42,469
Sorry, Finchmeister,
I got plans with Cadence.
1554
01:14:43,679 --> 01:14:46,765
Stifler, maybe you could
forget about your dick
for one second
1555
01:14:46,849 --> 01:14:48,642
and actually be useful.
1556
01:14:49,435 --> 01:14:53,355
Fuck you, Finch.
You didn't eat shit, okay?
1557
01:14:53,439 --> 01:14:56,358
You didn't prance around
like a ballerina
for the whole week.
1558
01:14:56,442 --> 01:14:59,569
Wedding this,
suck my ass that.
I'm special, you're special.
1559
01:14:59,654 --> 01:15:02,072
We're all just
a bunch of special fuckers,
aren't we?
1560
01:15:02,156 --> 01:15:05,450
You know what?
I'm-a gonna get laid,
Finchfucker.
1561
01:15:05,535 --> 01:15:07,411
And it's gonna be oh-so-good.
1562
01:15:07,495 --> 01:15:08,954
It's gonna be like,
"You like this shit, momma?"
1563
01:15:09,038 --> 01:15:11,873
She's gonna be like,
"Fucking right, doggy.
Give it to me!
1564
01:15:11,958 --> 01:15:14,709
"Suck on my nipples
like you're milking a cow."
1565
01:15:14,836 --> 01:15:16,211
Like... (SUCKING)
1566
01:15:16,295 --> 01:15:17,629
(MEWING)
1567
01:15:27,098 --> 01:15:28,598
You been here long?
1568
01:15:28,724 --> 01:15:30,016
(SUCKING)
1569
01:15:30,476 --> 01:15:31,601
Oh, shit.
1570
01:15:34,856 --> 01:15:35,856
Yeah...
1571
01:15:36,274 --> 01:15:39,943
Cadence, it is
my distinct pleasure
to introduce you
1572
01:15:40,153 --> 01:15:43,238
to the real Steve Stifler.
1573
01:15:43,614 --> 01:15:46,032
Hi.
1574
01:15:48,536 --> 01:15:50,245
Pumpkin. (SIGHS)
1575
01:15:54,792 --> 01:15:56,918
You are quite
the gentleman, Stifler.
1576
01:15:57,003 --> 01:15:58,712
You could've told
me she was behind me.
1577
01:15:59,130 --> 01:16:03,175
Between Grandma,
Stifler, and Cadence...
The cake.
1578
01:16:03,551 --> 01:16:05,343
I mean, are you kidding me?
1579
01:16:05,428 --> 01:16:09,431
You know,
I thought I had grown
out of this sort of behavior.
1580
01:16:09,515 --> 01:16:13,810
But I keep messing up.
These things keep
happening to me.
1581
01:16:14,103 --> 01:16:16,229
If I can't bring it
together for one day,
1582
01:16:16,314 --> 01:16:19,399
how am I gonna
hold it together
for the rest of our lives?
1583
01:16:19,484 --> 01:16:22,068
I'm really afraid
this is how it's
always gonna be.
1584
01:16:22,153 --> 01:16:25,572
Yeah, but you always
manage to get yourself
into serious shit,
1585
01:16:25,656 --> 01:16:28,742
and somehow you always
come out of it better
than you went in.
1586
01:16:28,826 --> 01:16:30,202
I don't know how,
but you do.
1587
01:16:30,286 --> 01:16:31,995
Everything is gonna be fine.
1588
01:16:32,079 --> 01:16:33,079
Yeah...
1589
01:16:34,457 --> 01:16:38,210
You need to come into
the kitchen right now.
There's... Yeah.
1590
01:16:39,086 --> 01:16:40,086
Jesus, now what?
1591
01:16:43,674 --> 01:16:44,925
(SIGHS)
1592
01:16:46,135 --> 01:16:49,262
There is no way to remake
all these in time, is there?
1593
01:16:49,430 --> 01:16:51,515
Something must have
disrupted the power.
1594
01:16:51,599 --> 01:16:54,017
The compressors need time
to reset after a power loss
1595
01:16:54,101 --> 01:16:55,352
or they overheat.
1596
01:16:55,436 --> 01:16:58,438
Essentially, it turns
the refrigerator
into an oven.
1597
01:16:58,523 --> 01:17:01,233
Stifler was in here
earlier flipping switches.
1598
01:17:02,860 --> 01:17:04,861
Michelle, I am so sorry.
1599
01:17:08,199 --> 01:17:09,199
Hey.
1600
01:17:13,538 --> 01:17:15,080
Those flowers look hideous.
1601
01:17:15,206 --> 01:17:16,706
That's 'cause you
killed them, Stifler.
1602
01:17:16,791 --> 01:17:18,875
You've ruined everything.
1603
01:17:21,087 --> 01:17:22,921
What are you talking about?
1604
01:17:23,297 --> 01:17:26,758
You obviously don't care
about this wedding,
or anyone in it.
1605
01:17:29,136 --> 01:17:30,136
Cadence...
1606
01:17:34,058 --> 01:17:35,058
Jim?
1607
01:17:38,479 --> 01:17:40,272
Shitbreak, come on.
1608
01:17:46,737 --> 01:17:48,947
Maybe you should
just leave, Stifler.
1609
01:17:53,286 --> 01:17:55,287
Fine. Adiós.
1610
01:19:03,356 --> 01:19:05,190
STIFLER: Fuckers!
It's not my fault!
1611
01:19:06,609 --> 01:19:09,152
I'm not an electrical
Einstein. I'm not...
1612
01:19:11,447 --> 01:19:12,781
Damn it.
1613
01:19:17,411 --> 01:19:18,620
Fuck!
1614
01:19:28,964 --> 01:19:31,007
Hey, flower fuckers,
you there?
1615
01:19:33,344 --> 01:19:34,427
"Zyskowski."
1616
01:19:46,148 --> 01:19:49,442
Hello? Are you awake?
1617
01:19:50,069 --> 01:19:53,113
Shit. Come on.
Come on. Anybody awake?
1618
01:19:53,531 --> 01:19:54,614
Oh!
1619
01:19:56,367 --> 01:19:57,659
Are you Ms. Zyskowski?
1620
01:19:57,785 --> 01:19:59,077
Who are you?
1621
01:19:59,161 --> 01:20:01,287
I'm the guy who just
killed all the flowers
1622
01:20:01,372 --> 01:20:03,623
for the Levenstein-Band
Geek wedding.
1623
01:20:03,749 --> 01:20:04,874
What?
1624
01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:06,167
Yeah, I'm that guy.
1625
01:20:06,293 --> 01:20:07,877
Now, what I need you to do
1626
01:20:07,962 --> 01:20:10,422
is drag your ass down
to your little store,
1627
01:20:10,506 --> 01:20:12,257
gather up some flowers,
slice them,
1628
01:20:12,383 --> 01:20:14,134
dice them,
jam them all together,
1629
01:20:14,218 --> 01:20:16,302
and cart that crap
down to the wedding.
1630
01:20:16,387 --> 01:20:18,513
Are you completely insane?
1631
01:20:18,973 --> 01:20:20,557
You have no idea.
1632
01:20:20,641 --> 01:20:22,267
Even if I
overlooked the fact
1633
01:20:22,351 --> 01:20:24,894
that this is the rudest thing
I have ever encountered,
1634
01:20:24,979 --> 01:20:27,480
there is no time to
redo all that work.
1635
01:20:27,565 --> 01:20:30,859
I had four assistants
working two full days
on that wedding.
1636
01:20:30,985 --> 01:20:34,070
I'm sorry. It's impossible.
1637
01:20:36,407 --> 01:20:37,949
(STIFLER SCOFFS)
1638
01:20:40,870 --> 01:20:43,288
We don't quit
at halftime, ma'am!
1639
01:20:43,414 --> 01:20:45,832
You don't score
until you score!
1640
01:20:51,213 --> 01:20:52,839
That's the spirit,
sweetheart.
1641
01:21:03,142 --> 01:21:05,185
STIFLER: Come on.
Fuck the pain.
1642
01:21:06,020 --> 01:21:07,520
You guys keep
working this hard,
1643
01:21:07,688 --> 01:21:09,230
we'll be able to
beat the Wildcats.
1644
01:21:09,315 --> 01:21:10,690
You remember how tough
they were last year.
1645
01:21:11,817 --> 01:21:14,110
Come on. Let's see
some determination.
1646
01:21:15,029 --> 01:21:16,613
Determination!
1647
01:21:17,072 --> 01:21:19,949
Hold the vase. That's it!
1648
01:21:21,535 --> 01:21:23,787
Come on.
Come on, keep working!
1649
01:21:28,083 --> 01:21:29,793
Good, Connor. Very good.
1650
01:21:29,877 --> 01:21:32,796
Good, DeBoer.
It really sucks.
Go fix it.
1651
01:21:32,922 --> 01:21:36,925
Hey, party guy, having
a good time? Can I get
you a gin and tonic?
1652
01:21:37,426 --> 01:21:41,137
Hold on a second.
Hello? Okay. It's for you.
1653
01:21:41,222 --> 01:21:42,972
It's get to work, fucker.
1654
01:21:43,682 --> 01:21:45,350
We are gathered here today
1655
01:21:45,434 --> 01:21:48,353
to join these
two great people
in a blessed union
1656
01:21:48,437 --> 01:21:50,563
and
blah-da-blah-da-blah
and crap.
1657
01:21:50,648 --> 01:21:52,857
Coach? This is kind of gay.
1658
01:21:54,985 --> 01:21:56,694
Yeah, it is.
1659
01:21:58,739 --> 01:21:59,989
Good work.
1660
01:22:00,115 --> 01:22:01,366
Hey, no problem.
1661
01:22:03,160 --> 01:22:04,869
So, you got
a date for this thing?
1662
01:22:04,954 --> 01:22:06,246
Don't push it.
Sorry.
1663
01:22:11,710 --> 01:22:13,086
Holy shit.
1664
01:22:14,046 --> 01:22:15,505
How the hell did this happen?
1665
01:22:15,631 --> 01:22:17,090
It's a miracle.
1666
01:22:18,259 --> 01:22:19,467
Stifler.
1667
01:22:19,593 --> 01:22:20,802
Save it, dickhead.
I'm working.
1668
01:22:31,730 --> 01:22:32,939
You're an asshole.
1669
01:22:33,107 --> 01:22:34,357
I know.
1670
01:22:35,276 --> 01:22:36,943
You really are an asshole.
1671
01:22:37,111 --> 01:22:38,820
Thanks.
1672
01:22:39,363 --> 01:22:40,488
(CLEARS THROAT)
1673
01:22:42,449 --> 01:22:44,409
I don't do apologies
so good.
1674
01:22:45,995 --> 01:22:48,246
Well,
you get an "A" for effort.
This is amazing.
1675
01:22:48,330 --> 01:22:49,497
(LAUGHS)
1676
01:22:49,665 --> 01:22:52,750
Cool. I was always
kind of a "C" student.
1677
01:22:53,836 --> 01:22:56,421
So did you do all this
just to have sex with me
1678
01:22:56,505 --> 01:22:59,007
or because you really care
about the wedding?
1679
01:22:59,091 --> 01:23:00,258
Both.
1680
01:23:02,344 --> 01:23:03,469
And...
1681
01:23:03,596 --> 01:23:05,138
(CLEARS THROAT)
1682
01:23:05,764 --> 01:23:06,973
I really like you.
1683
01:23:07,141 --> 01:23:08,391
What?
1684
01:23:10,936 --> 01:23:12,437
I like you.
1685
01:23:12,563 --> 01:23:14,063
That's an honest answer.
1686
01:23:14,940 --> 01:23:16,399
I gotta go.
1687
01:23:22,823 --> 01:23:26,409
Steve Stifler
just gave a rose to
a girl, and meant it.
1688
01:23:26,785 --> 01:23:28,202
This is huge.
1689
01:23:28,287 --> 01:23:31,956
It's like watching monkeys
use tools for the first time.
1690
01:23:32,666 --> 01:23:34,792
Are you still pissed
about me and Cadence?
1691
01:23:34,877 --> 01:23:36,419
No, let's see,
1692
01:23:36,503 --> 01:23:39,047
she wasn't into
the heavy
intellectual stuff.
1693
01:23:39,131 --> 01:23:41,758
She actually liked me
being that imbecile.
1694
01:23:42,134 --> 01:23:45,303
No. Somehow, I think
she's probably
better off with you.
1695
01:23:46,180 --> 01:23:47,931
Thanks, Shitbreak.
1696
01:23:52,186 --> 01:23:55,146
Dick. I fucking
hate not hating you.
1697
01:23:59,526 --> 01:24:01,361
I did fuck your mom.
1698
01:24:03,572 --> 01:24:04,656
Twice.
1699
01:24:06,533 --> 01:24:07,825
That's better, fucker!
1700
01:24:07,910 --> 01:24:09,160
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
1701
01:24:10,871 --> 01:24:11,913
Oh. Whoa!
1702
01:24:12,957 --> 01:24:14,165
Ready to go?
1703
01:24:14,249 --> 01:24:15,333
Um...
1704
01:24:15,417 --> 01:24:17,043
The wedding's not
for another hour.
1705
01:24:17,211 --> 01:24:18,795
No, I mean you and me.
1706
01:24:18,879 --> 01:24:19,921
(GASPS)
1707
01:24:20,005 --> 01:24:21,339
Hold on.
1708
01:24:21,423 --> 01:24:23,549
Do I still got to do
this bullshit meeting?
1709
01:24:23,634 --> 01:24:25,802
Stifler, you are not
bailing on Jim.
1710
01:24:25,886 --> 01:24:28,846
Shit! Give me 10 minutes?
1711
01:24:32,184 --> 01:24:33,726
I'll meet you at the closet.
1712
01:24:33,852 --> 01:24:35,436
At the closet.
1713
01:24:42,945 --> 01:24:44,988
You wanted to
see me, Michelle?
1714
01:24:45,114 --> 01:24:47,115
Oh! Okay. Sit.
1715
01:24:49,994 --> 01:24:53,663
So, Jim said
that you've always kind
of been there for him
1716
01:24:53,747 --> 01:24:55,039
when he needed you.
1717
01:24:55,124 --> 01:24:57,375
So I thought maybe
you could help me.
1718
01:24:57,668 --> 01:24:59,210
Jim said that?
1719
01:25:03,090 --> 01:25:04,924
What's the problem?
1720
01:25:09,221 --> 01:25:11,305
I still can't
get my vows right.
1721
01:25:11,974 --> 01:25:14,934
I haven't been this confused
since I got my first period.
1722
01:25:15,019 --> 01:25:17,645
That's a very confusing time
for any young lady.
1723
01:25:17,730 --> 01:25:21,065
You know, your body is
going through changes.
1724
01:25:23,527 --> 01:25:26,029
Stuff coming out,
stuff going in.
1725
01:25:26,572 --> 01:25:29,699
No. I need help with
my vows, not my period.
1726
01:25:29,783 --> 01:25:31,951
Oh, your vows.
(CHUCKLING) Your vows.
1727
01:25:32,369 --> 01:25:35,872
Yes, good. Go on.
1728
01:25:36,206 --> 01:25:38,958
Jim just wants
a groomsmen meeting
before the wedding.
1729
01:25:39,043 --> 01:25:43,004
It shouldn't take long.
Just don't let
her talk to anyone.
1730
01:25:43,088 --> 01:25:44,130
All right.
1731
01:25:44,298 --> 01:25:45,339
Be careful. She's feisty.
1732
01:25:49,887 --> 01:25:51,429
Okay, let's go.
1733
01:25:51,930 --> 01:25:55,183
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming out
here and meeting me.
1734
01:25:55,601 --> 01:25:57,894
I just have a couple
of things I want to say.
1735
01:25:57,978 --> 01:25:59,437
This sucks.
1736
01:26:03,734 --> 01:26:05,443
Did I say that out loud?
1737
01:26:08,155 --> 01:26:09,947
Keep going. It's good.
1738
01:26:11,158 --> 01:26:14,410
You know, I thought
about what you said, Kev,
1739
01:26:14,995 --> 01:26:18,122
about how my problems
always seem to work out.
1740
01:26:18,248 --> 01:26:22,293
And I realized that
the reason
things always work out
1741
01:26:23,337 --> 01:26:27,131
is because you guys
have always been there
to back me up.
1742
01:26:27,466 --> 01:26:29,217
Even you, Stifler.
1743
01:26:31,720 --> 01:26:33,846
For the first time
in my life,
1744
01:26:34,389 --> 01:26:38,851
I actually feel like
I can't mess anything up.
1745
01:26:39,019 --> 01:26:40,353
(SCOFFS)
1746
01:26:41,480 --> 01:26:43,564
Which is pretty amazing.
1747
01:26:44,441 --> 01:26:50,154
So I guess I just
wanted to say thank you.
1748
01:26:52,658 --> 01:26:53,866
Thanks.
1749
01:26:55,202 --> 01:26:58,204
Thanks? This whole
thing was about thanks?
1750
01:26:58,330 --> 01:26:59,413
(GRUNTS)
1751
01:26:59,540 --> 01:27:01,707
You're welcome, cock block.
1752
01:27:04,378 --> 01:27:06,379
That was good, Jim.
Real nice.
1753
01:27:07,089 --> 01:27:08,965
Let's get you married.
1754
01:27:09,049 --> 01:27:10,258
Okay.
1755
01:27:11,343 --> 01:27:14,762
Love is very
difficult to describe.
1756
01:27:14,847 --> 01:27:17,932
And I understand the angst.
I mean, it's your wedding.
1757
01:27:18,016 --> 01:27:20,476
And it's natural.
It's perfectly natural.
1758
01:27:21,103 --> 01:27:23,896
But it's impossible
to describe a feeling.
1759
01:27:24,022 --> 01:27:27,066
Okay, first,
nothing is impossible.
1760
01:27:27,401 --> 01:27:29,235
So let's not focus on that.
1761
01:27:29,403 --> 01:27:31,737
Why do you think, Michelle,
1762
01:27:32,573 --> 01:27:35,241
they call it making love?
1763
01:27:37,077 --> 01:27:39,620
I don't know.
I just call it boning.
1764
01:27:41,915 --> 01:27:43,082
"Boning"?
1765
01:27:45,085 --> 01:27:47,128
When you're doing
other things with Jim,
1766
01:27:47,254 --> 01:27:49,380
when you're not boning,
1767
01:27:49,590 --> 01:27:51,757
how does he make you feel?
1768
01:27:53,302 --> 01:27:54,886
Horny, like I want to bone.
1769
01:27:54,970 --> 01:27:58,055
But we can't be boning
from sunrise to sunset, dear.
1770
01:27:58,265 --> 01:27:59,932
Oh, you've never tried it?
1771
01:28:00,142 --> 01:28:03,936
I certainly have.
I have. I've boned.
1772
01:28:04,605 --> 01:28:07,940
From sunrise,
right through brunch,
on more than one occasion.
1773
01:28:08,066 --> 01:28:09,984
But boning aside,
1774
01:28:11,445 --> 01:28:13,988
I think they call it
making love because
1775
01:28:14,531 --> 01:28:16,657
you have to make love work.
1776
01:28:17,618 --> 01:28:20,703
You know, it's about
compromise and sacrifice
1777
01:28:20,787 --> 01:28:22,705
and I think Jim has
sacrificed for you.
1778
01:28:22,789 --> 01:28:25,416
My God, he shaved his
entire pubic region,
1779
01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:27,627
which would
baffle most cultures
1780
01:28:27,794 --> 01:28:29,921
around the world,
but he did it.
1781
01:28:30,005 --> 01:28:33,132
And he did it for you.
1782
01:28:34,718 --> 01:28:38,346
You're right.
Love isn't just a feeling.
1783
01:28:39,139 --> 01:28:41,140
It's shaving your balls.
1784
01:28:42,142 --> 01:28:43,643
Thanks, Dad.
1785
01:28:44,895 --> 01:28:48,439
I wouldn't get
into too much detail
on that, dear.
1786
01:28:48,899 --> 01:28:50,775
Excuse me.
Pardon me. Excuse me.
1787
01:28:50,943 --> 01:28:52,818
Yeah. Excuse me.
Touch me. Fuck me.
1788
01:28:52,986 --> 01:28:54,904
I'm gonna have
sex with Cadence.
1789
01:29:04,498 --> 01:29:06,415
You know, Son,
I think this is probably
1790
01:29:06,541 --> 01:29:08,542
the right time to
tell you that...
1791
01:29:12,130 --> 01:29:13,589
I know, Dad.
1792
01:29:23,892 --> 01:29:25,101
(CLATTERING)
1793
01:29:25,227 --> 01:29:27,061
STIFLER:
I can't see anything here.
1794
01:29:28,522 --> 01:29:30,022
(CLATTERING)
1795
01:29:31,275 --> 01:29:32,942
Oh, there you are.
1796
01:29:34,236 --> 01:29:37,697
Guys, what are you doing?
Where's Jim's grandma?
1797
01:29:37,990 --> 01:29:40,324
The old bitch sucked.
We had to ditch her.
1798
01:29:40,409 --> 01:29:41,617
You what?
1799
01:29:41,702 --> 01:29:44,578
Don't worry.
We put her someplace
no one will find her.
1800
01:29:44,663 --> 01:29:45,871
(CLICKS TONGUE)
1801
01:29:46,248 --> 01:29:47,790
Cadence, where are
you going?
1802
01:29:47,916 --> 01:29:49,417
Oh, Mom.
1803
01:29:51,336 --> 01:29:54,213
STIFLER: Oh, baby,
I'm so ready for this.
1804
01:29:54,298 --> 01:29:55,673
(UNZIPPING)
1805
01:29:56,675 --> 01:30:00,136
Your body's not quite
what I was expecting.
But that's okay.
1806
01:30:00,804 --> 01:30:03,389
The Stiffman digs
what's underneath.
(CHUCKLES)
1807
01:30:03,890 --> 01:30:04,932
(STIFLER MOANS)
1808
01:30:05,058 --> 01:30:08,019
Oh, you are so beautiful.
1809
01:30:09,730 --> 01:30:11,063
I just wanted...
1810
01:30:11,398 --> 01:30:12,440
(BOTH GASP)
1811
01:30:12,524 --> 01:30:13,566
Stifler!
1812
01:30:14,109 --> 01:30:15,234
Granny.
1813
01:30:15,402 --> 01:30:16,527
Granny what?
1814
01:30:16,611 --> 01:30:18,446
Focus! Focus! Focus!
1815
01:30:18,530 --> 01:30:19,572
(EXCLAIMS)
1816
01:30:19,698 --> 01:30:22,199
It's not what
it looks like!
1817
01:30:22,409 --> 01:30:23,451
(GROANS)
1818
01:30:23,702 --> 01:30:24,910
Shut the fucking door!
1819
01:30:25,037 --> 01:30:26,245
You got it, champ.
1820
01:30:26,330 --> 01:30:27,538
(GROANS)
1821
01:30:28,498 --> 01:30:29,832
(YELLS)
(CLATTERING)
1822
01:30:36,006 --> 01:30:37,923
(GUESTS EXCLAIM SOFTLY)
1823
01:30:40,427 --> 01:30:42,219
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
1824
01:30:50,562 --> 01:30:51,854
You're a hero.
1825
01:30:52,814 --> 01:30:54,648
Hey, pussy's pussy.
1826
01:30:56,735 --> 01:30:59,445
Look at the smile
on my mother's face.
1827
01:31:00,113 --> 01:31:03,532
Do you know how
long she's been waiting
for a day like this?
1828
01:31:03,825 --> 01:31:05,534
I can't imagine.
1829
01:31:11,625 --> 01:31:12,750
I couldn't be happier.
1830
01:31:12,876 --> 01:31:14,043
Thank you.
1831
01:31:16,546 --> 01:31:17,755
Don't.
1832
01:31:20,926 --> 01:31:22,843
Good luck.
Thank you, sir.
1833
01:31:28,308 --> 01:31:30,267
What made Grandma
come around?
1834
01:31:30,352 --> 01:31:31,811
Finch said
Stifler talked to her.
1835
01:31:31,978 --> 01:31:33,479
Stifler?
1836
01:31:36,983 --> 01:31:38,818
Grandmotherfucker.
1837
01:31:39,653 --> 01:31:41,445
You're a motherfucker.
1838
01:31:41,571 --> 01:31:43,447
Yes, I am.
1839
01:31:43,990 --> 01:31:45,950
You son of a bitch.
1840
01:31:47,119 --> 01:31:50,704
And I promise to love you
for as long as I shall live.
1841
01:31:51,331 --> 01:31:55,000
Michelle,
you are the one woman
I want to be with
1842
01:31:55,377 --> 01:31:57,837
and the woman
I can't be without.
1843
01:31:58,588 --> 01:32:01,006
I love you.
1844
01:32:05,512 --> 01:32:06,720
(SNIFFS)
1845
01:32:17,649 --> 01:32:22,987
Jim, I had trouble
finding the words to
tell you how I feel
1846
01:32:24,072 --> 01:32:25,781
and I realized something.
1847
01:32:26,158 --> 01:32:28,451
Love isn't just a feeling.
1848
01:32:29,661 --> 01:32:31,787
Love is something you do.
1849
01:32:32,205 --> 01:32:35,624
It's a dress,
a visit to band camp,
1850
01:32:36,042 --> 01:32:37,960
a special haircut.
1851
01:32:39,379 --> 01:32:42,423
Jim, you've given me
everything I've ever wanted,
1852
01:32:42,924 --> 01:32:47,386
and it is my solemn vow
to give everything
I am to you.
1853
01:32:52,309 --> 01:32:53,559
Thanks.
1854
01:33:01,985 --> 01:33:06,113
James Emanuel Levenstein
and Michelle
Annabeth Flaherty,
1855
01:33:06,198 --> 01:33:08,991
I hereby pronounce you
husband and wife.
1856
01:33:09,659 --> 01:33:11,702
You may kiss the bride.
1857
01:33:29,679 --> 01:33:33,682
MAN: Let's all welcome
Mr. And Mrs.
Jim and Michelle Levenstein
1858
01:33:33,767 --> 01:33:35,226
onto the dance floor.
1859
01:33:35,310 --> 01:33:36,352
Just follow my lead.
1860
01:33:36,478 --> 01:33:37,520
I'll try.
1861
01:33:37,646 --> 01:33:39,146
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1862
01:34:07,926 --> 01:34:09,426
(SOFTLY) I taught him that.
1863
01:34:10,470 --> 01:34:13,264
Jim, you learnt to dance.
1864
01:34:49,175 --> 01:34:50,551
(INAUDIBLE)
1865
01:34:55,056 --> 01:34:57,349
Well, it seems like
everything worked out.
1866
01:34:57,434 --> 01:34:58,851
Magnificently.
1867
01:34:59,019 --> 01:35:00,477
I feel a bit sad
1868
01:35:00,562 --> 01:35:03,856
that tonight
our little Michelle
is gonna be a woman.
1869
01:35:04,691 --> 01:35:07,776
Honey, you don't
honestly believe that
Michelle is still a...
1870
01:35:07,861 --> 01:35:11,572
I tell you, Mary,
I can't recall a single moment
with either one of them
1871
01:35:11,656 --> 01:35:13,490
that would make
me think otherwise.
1872
01:35:13,575 --> 01:35:15,409
Thank you. See?
1873
01:35:16,453 --> 01:35:17,995
(EXHALES) Whoa!
1874
01:35:26,046 --> 01:35:27,546
Hey, tough guy.
1875
01:35:27,714 --> 01:35:29,214
Stifler's mom.
1876
01:35:31,384 --> 01:35:32,926
Well, we meet again.
1877
01:35:34,262 --> 01:35:36,805
I was curious.
Didn't see you here.
1878
01:35:37,307 --> 01:35:39,600
I try to keep a low profile.
1879
01:35:39,893 --> 01:35:42,519
I never really did
like these things, anyway.
1880
01:35:42,604 --> 01:35:45,939
You know,
this has actually made
quite an impression on me.
1881
01:35:46,191 --> 01:35:48,859
I have something to
look for in a woman now.
1882
01:35:48,943 --> 01:35:52,363
Well, if this is your idea
of a proposal, Finchy,
1883
01:35:52,572 --> 01:35:54,448
you gotta know
that I'm over you now.
1884
01:35:54,532 --> 01:35:56,241
And I'm over you.
1885
01:35:57,369 --> 01:36:00,287
But as they say,
we will always have Paris.
1886
01:36:00,705 --> 01:36:01,747
And the pool table.
1887
01:36:01,831 --> 01:36:02,873
And the car.
1888
01:36:02,999 --> 01:36:04,917
And the two-room
suite I have upstairs.
1889
01:36:05,001 --> 01:36:06,418
Come here.
1890
01:36:12,384 --> 01:36:15,219
This turned out better
than I could ever imagine.
1891
01:36:15,762 --> 01:36:19,098
How did a little perv
like you turn into such
a great guy?
1892
01:36:19,557 --> 01:36:22,935
How did a little
nympho like you
turn into such a great girl?
1893
01:36:23,019 --> 01:36:24,269
I'm still a nympho.
1894
01:36:24,396 --> 01:36:25,646
I'm still a perv.
1895
01:36:25,939 --> 01:36:28,774
I know.
What's wrong with us?
1896
01:36:36,491 --> 01:36:38,409
You did it.
1897
01:36:47,544 --> 01:36:52,172
You know, Michelle,
to quote someone I've
learned quite a bit from,
1898
01:36:53,174 --> 01:36:55,592
I think you and I are
1899
01:36:55,677 --> 01:36:59,138
"a perfectly natural,
normal thing."
1900
01:37:00,765 --> 01:37:02,474
Perfectly natural.
1901
01:37:21,077 --> 01:37:22,077
That's her.
1902
01:37:22,162 --> 01:37:23,328
Holy shit, dude.
1903
01:37:24,080 --> 01:37:26,248
I told you this
wedding would be worth it.
1904
01:37:26,374 --> 01:37:28,542
Oh, my goddess. My queen.
1905
01:37:29,294 --> 01:37:31,253
My MILF.
MILF.
1906
01:37:31,504 --> 01:37:33,547
(BOTH REPEATING)
1907
01:37:35,759 --> 01:37:37,217
(EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)
1908
01:37:48,563 --> 01:37:50,731
No way, bro.
1909
01:37:51,191 --> 01:37:54,318
Hey, you're not
finished yet,
are you, Finchy?
1910
01:37:55,361 --> 01:37:58,405
No, ma'am.
Just getting started.
1911
01:37:59,073 --> 01:38:01,450
This guy is
the fucking master.
1912
01:38:03,661 --> 01:38:05,496
Oh, no!
1913
01:38:05,663 --> 01:38:07,498
Make it stop.
Make it stop.
1914
01:38:08,124 --> 01:38:10,000
Oh, Stifler's mom.
1915
01:38:11,336 --> 01:38:13,337
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1916
01:40:23,134 --> 01:40:25,427
(ALTERNATIVE
ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
126708
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