Original subtitles

I helped change the sexual mores of this country,

and made it legal for human beings

to go to a store and rent a X-Rated movie legally

And I helped make that thing a reality in this country

So, I freed a lot of dicks and pussies That's how I feel about it,

you know what I mean, real talk That's some real talk

When I first got into the industry, I was waiting tables for seven years

And I was in college I was a broke-college student

I used to sell in market timeshare, and I really just hated my job

And I actually have job satisfaction now So, even on the days that it's bad,

I just remind myself how much I love my work, and the next day is going to be better

She was like "Please, please, do the scene I was like "I'm not doing a fucking porn

Now, get the fuck outa here" And they were like "Lo, we'll give you basically

three times what you make at your regular job for 45 minutes

of doing what you did at home for free an hour ago"

I was like "Okay Let's do that"

He was my first scene in the business in 2006

- Did not go well at all - Did not go well at all

It was so bad, I didn't want to work with her for like three years after that

- But three years later, he worked with me - And then it went well

- And it went well - And now we're married

I was treated a little differently

I think that actually got harder when I was more like in junior high

and kids started picking on me And like

I would get jumped

I got held down, my hair cut off

I was pretty I was a pretty little girl And so girls were very mean to me

Little things like that would happen to me all throughout my teen years

I cannot be tamed You know, wild child is being an extraordinaire,

being not the norm

Like I just loved being free

And I'd say, like there's your conservatives and then your exhibitionist

Two different types of personalities Not one is better than the other

They're just different Society tries to tell you

one is better than the other, but they're not

Remember guys, when you're throwing money during the fights,

give it on the outside of the cage

I don't wanna have to teach you all how to make it rain

I'm actually really super excited for this particular fight

This is very new to me I don't know It's just something

I wanted to tap into, have a lot of fun and be a little sexy

And I was like "Shit Let's do it"

Okay So where was I before that

I was born in New Delhi I came to America when I was eight months old

I was adopted by a very religious family

They adopted four of us and they had three of their own, so

Theirs they're older, they're really involved in the church,

so they're not really aware of the extent of what I do and who I am

Yeah, I think she has had this idea that we were going to come

We are going to be, you know, good Indian little kids

We were gonna go to school like a normal Indian kid that comes from India

I remember my mom looking at my brother and I, and she goes, she looked at my brother and goes

"You were supposed to be my engineer" Then she was "You were supposed to be my doctor"

And uhm, I just go on with doctor of love

She didn't like that too much

Everything seems okay Oooh

So, at 15 I'm pregnant, '93

I remember they had pregnant schools

And they would ship all the pregnant girls to this one school

We'd all come in on buses and we would go to school there

until we get our kids and then we go back to school, so

Definitely, a different world than it is now

I look back, but I did it

It was kind of forced upon me to grow up really fast

So, I went from being 15 to a parent

You're ready? Alright Hands up

And so, it's rough, you know, trying to work and be a single parent

I remember when I was looking at ads I was like, "Topless dancers"

All right I'm gonna go try this out, so

Priya Rai, she's is at Cheerleaders in the strip district

- and you're gonna be here for two shows tonight, - Yes

- and two shows tomorrow? - Yes

Stripping for me, you know, you don't know what you're going come in there

and make in the hustle I was just, you know, being the little wild child at work

I would be partying instead of working

And then like, I just remember the girls in the back,

I'd be rolling around on the floor They would like "Girl, why don't you

just become a porn star What the hell, doing your asshole

up in the air just like, you know, it's just crazy"

And so I was like "You know what? One day, I thought about it" I was like "Why not?"

So, I lived in Phoenix, Arizona I was in the circle of Jenna Jameson

So, I would go to all the parties and I would talk to people

And I remember I was in the pool talking to this guy

I was like "I want to be an actress and thought about doing "

He's like "Honey, you don't look like an actress"

He was like "You look like a porn star" Back then, my tits were bigger than they are now

I don't know I have this thing It's always been in the back of my head

when I was always too chicken shit to really do it And I'm like

"You're a year away from being 30, bitch"

Like, if you're gonna do it, do it Here's a perfect opportunity

You know, In the beginning of my career, I was doing nude modeling, soft porn,

should I say My first share, I got a lot of death e-mails

because of the niche of being there are no East Indian American porn stars

You know, there was a lot more going on in my life than to sit there and worry

about some guy half-way across the country's opinion

on what I was doing because, guess what, he's not paying my bills

And he's probably not paying for his porn either, so

Yeah Doing good? All right

I had to deal with that within the first year,

but I think, within the first to second year,

it kind of calmed down and people begun to love me

- Who the fuck is that? - What the fuck is she wearing?

Actually, making hardcore movies, I went in at 29

There's days you go to work, and it's work,

but then there's days you go to work, and I'm like "I'm gonna have fun today"

- Look how sexy you are - So, let's go play Hello to my licorice bra

There are couple of scenes in the beginning of my career

that taught me a lot sexually about myself

- Does that look like something that you like? - It's so big

Take a breath Where is water at?

Fighting out of Fresno

This former rodeo rider,

adult star, cage fighter, total package of dynamite

- Blatten Lee - Blatten Lee

It It was hard for me, because I had kids So what I would do is,

I would get up at 700 am get on a flight, come to LA,

be in hair and makeup by 830

Got Priya here and she just look like a baby hot stuff

- Look Is she in this - It's so hot outside

Do my scene, be on the last flight back home to Phoenix

to be home with my kids for dinner, or late, you know, to put them to bed

But that's how I managed a career for the first two years

I was going back and forth almost every other day

- Priya - Priya

My daughter and I have a very good relationship,

but it got to a point she'd be at high school, and she's like, tell everybody

"My mom's Priya My mom's Priya," like "Stop it"

Like all these boys out my door, you know

I was like "Do you want them to come over for you or me, like just stop it"

Alright, here we go, guys Round one Oh, shit Oh, shit

My son, he is now in college and he's doing well I think for a couple of years,

it really affected our relationship as he was going through puberty

and I probably ruined it for him, but now it's like,

we kind of laugh about it He's cool about it He's like "Whatever"

He's like "I know my friends have seen you" But I just kinda stayed away,

like I don't go near them on campus"

I did go to his graduation, but I, you know, kind of just showed up and left

I don't really linger around his friends or his people right now

Just out of respect He's a straight-A student He's getting a full right

scholarship, so that's a fun little experience

So that's why I'm a little jealous

of the whole like, college experience, but I don't know

I probably still, uhm, expect more of myself,

like I could have done it I had uhm, extremely high GPA

You know, I look back being 40, gonna be 40

I do wish I could do could have done things a little bit differently

And that's what sucks, like, you know, just having a couple regrets

I don't have many regrets because, I've lived life pretty wildly

But, I do have regrets when it's coming to having a normal life

just like kind of maybe missing out on doing things like maybe college

or different things like that I'm sitting here watching my son go to college

and it's just like "Wow, I got to miss out on all of that"

Hi

You're at Expo 2018

In the United States, we don't really talk about sex and porn

Yeah, there's a lot of stigma around pornography

And that was very difficult for me to break through this idea,

this stigma of being a porn star

Nearly everybody knows a sex worker now,

but everybody keeps it hidden if you're a sex worker because you don't know who's safe,

you don't know when it will come back to bite you

Unfortunately, it's still legal

to discriminate against sex workers and fire somebody

because they used to be a sex worker in normal jobs

People have been fired from Subway because they previously had a porn past

Teachers have had jobs for 15 years and they're fired because all of a sudden

they found out they did porn As if somehow having done this activity

changes how they'll behave outwardly in society

Unfortunately, until our society can see sex workers in a better light,

and we can have more resources to defend ourselves

and keep ourselves healthy, then people are going to be able to attack us

as easily as they have been for centuries

And there's the bad boy, the Master's choice with Ashley Renee

She was one of my slaves before I met you, Alex

- We should take them into the basement, Luc - I know

Then we have a whole basement downstairs full of slaves

- Yeah, that's a whole another show, though - Oh

Okay, we'll start from the top

- Okay - Luc Wylder, How did that happen?

How did Luc Wylder happen? Okay

We're in the mid '70s and the sex industry was booming

And Time Square became a mecca

for sexual deviance

So, I began to explore and I got into bondage

and discipline and S&M, and I began to perform

for companies in New York that shot fetish, like Bizarre Video and Gotham Gold

and Star Maker

- Master, Luc, she broke your chain - She what?

She broke it

And I got good at it because I had studied Aikido when I was a kid,

so I was into that fluid kind of motion

- that is involved in flogging and whipping people - Very good

I was the most in demand maledom in the adult industry

And we came out to California and we began to make films out here

Alexandra, could you come on in here? Come in here for just a minute

Wait, wait, wait

What? She's crawling into that

I was sitting over there You should see the view I have

How did I get my star? Well, I like sex

Let me show you how these work I guess you could say,

I was really a fan more than anything

I loved watching adult movies

So, like I knew, like for instance, my first movie was with Randy West

Alexandra Silk is a very hot lady

that had been in the business six or eight months before I met her

In fact I met her at David Christopher's 4th of July party

You know David, the pussy man?

Ross Sil I don't know what the name of

- Ross Sex - Sex

We got married December 31st 1999 in Las Vegas

Ah, it was a fucking party, man

It was not the traditional wedding, though We had a very

I had a very short, short, short wedding dress, and no panties

If you could call that a dress, I suppose And the judge was somewhat taken back by that

Partied like it was 1999

- And you've been my best friend ever since - Absolutely

- Hey, everybody Come on in - Come on in

Welcome to our home

We had both been married twice before Both in open relationships

We are swingers, and we're very safe in our practice,

so, we like to encourage that As we're always safe,

but never sorry

- Well, I want to say a little bit more about that - Yes, let's go

We were like We were just gonna remain this casual couple

- and we were gonna be fuck buddies - Yes, my best friend

and have this wonderful life

Just hanging around Waiting for Luc Wylder

- Oh, there - You're waiting for me?

Hi, Luc Wylder

Oh, my goodness, look this is

In the background we began to do a lot of work together

So, we wanted to make films that had a little bit more credibility

A little bit more value A little bit more oomph

We built a company called Fallen Angel

In essence, what we did was, we created a company

that would distribute adult video, but on higher standards

than many people were used to

Let me explain It's some of the nastiest sex that you'll ever see

The guy actually cums right inside the girl's pussy

However, they're all couples It's real couples having real sex with real cum

We were offering something that was different

This is like I knew it, adult stars at home Thanks for doing this

It was passionate It was intense

The Silk series, remember? I did a series called, Silk Stockings

in silk panties and silk ties It was very high end It was quality

Gosh, I remember when we were shooting that movie, Tramps in New Orleans

What do you think, Alexandra? You wanna go out there

and play around a little bit and then come back in here and watch how T Jay Harkin,

- you know, turn a guy on? - Oh, yeah

Mary Gates said "Would you do a Travel Log series for us at Adam and Eve?"

We said "Sure" Road trip

We went to 12 different states and had

- Sex across America from San Francisco - To New Orleans

We are headed to New York next stop Waikiki, Hawaii

- Had sex across America - I don't think you're telling the whole story

- Give me the camera Act like you like it - Okay Wait, wait

Camera I think we're gonna crash

When we first started shooting that series you were the hostess of the series

Yeah

- Isn't that great, guys or what? - You guys are wild

I'm running around the country we're having all this wild, outrageous sex

Mhm, and then the second volume we were on the plane We're flying everywhere

I think we're in Hawaii

Have you ever seen such a beautiful vegetation?

We caught ten-foot long blue marlins naked on a fishing boat in Hawaii

We had sex in hot air balloons I mean this was a series where we really got to do

the things that you would want to do in a Travel Log

That was so fun

At the time, we were able to take the series

and really kind of elevate the porn

that we were shooting at that time Through the locations,

through the people that we would encounter while we were traveling

Oh my gosh, that was, wait That was just No snoring

What a pivoting point in our life

That we're having fun traveling across America

and then,

all of a sudden,

mom gets sick

While we were in New Jersey,

taking caring for my mother, I went back to school

And I completed my degree in Psychology

So, when we came back,

and went back to Chatsworth, everyone else was gone

Where did everybody go? What happened?

- In the adult industry - What the fuck happened?

- Chatsworth was the porn capital of the world - Maybe

All of those buildings, all of those companies had closed up

Chatsworth had turned into a ghost town

and all the companies and people that we knew

were no longer there

I understand now that our circumstances had changed

So, you know, it's interesting We're not

who we are in our 20's, it's not who we are in our 30's,

and it's not who we are in our 40's We just keep evolving, you know

I always go to my passion, you know

Where's my passion in life? What can I do next?

Consequently, both Alex and I

have now achieved our doctorates in Human Sexology

Well, I became certified surrogate partner therapist

And there's only 19 in the United States and I'm one of them

It's very, uhm, serious work, it's healing work

And it's my way of giving back to the world

One orgasm at a time Right?

To go and meet a complete stranger, have sex in front of 20 people,

no Viagra, no male enhancement pills, it's very difficult to stay hard

and not cum immediately So if you can prove that you can do that, you have a shot

Anybody can do it, but not everybody can be successful at it

Especially not long-term And it is fun,

it is an alternative lifestyle, but it's not a joke, it's not a game

It is a career and it is a big business

that can be very lucrative or very damaging to somebody

- Wow - Hi

Hi, yourself How are you there, beautiful?

- Good How are you doing? - How am I doing? How are you doing?

I'm doing fine, thank you for asking me Now that you're here,

Wow, what's your name, gorgeous?

Shh

What is that one thing that you're holding on to?

That's making you become stuck and you can't move forward?

Some of us will hold you onto unforgiveness We're holding on to pain,

we're holding on to bad relationships We're holding on to friendship,

and we're holding on to all of these things

and this is the reason why we can't move forward

God gives you a new thing in you when you're surrounded

by people who hinder you

The unconditional love of God means that no matter what this person did to me,

I will still love them I will not hate them

Don't hate your enemies, love your enemies

Let me love people through you

There were a lot of factors throughout my childhood

and throughout my teenage years that would've resulted in me

getting into the porn industry I constantly had to live up to unfair standards

You know, if I had a B+ plus on a report card,

it was ripped up in front of my face, and I was called a loser

I started, you know, searching for ways to become perfect

And that's kind of where things started for me because I thought

"Well if I could just be skinny enough, maybe then my mom will love me

If I can be perfect enough and my grades are good enough,

then maybe I'll be loved"

I remember watching, you know, the E-channel and seeing Jenna Jameson,

the other vivid girls and it looked glitzy and glamorous

And it looked like everything that I wanted to become

They really portrayed the industry to be something that was lavish and beautiful

So, that's what I was expecting

Hey, Jenna, there's going to be a strip down here,

- we'll just take cold pictures - Okay

- Okay? - Okay

Okay Hell, are you pretty?

Yeah, you might be Yeah Yeah well, yeah

Yeah just stay there, strip down and let's take cold pictures

But, I need to take all of my clothes?

- Yes, all of them, sorry - Really?

It is poignant You are playing with the other camera, right?

Well, but I haven't ever done it before, so

- I was trying to get some - Okay, I'm not

You've never taken your clothes off before?

Must be a bitch when you shower

- But, I haven't in front of boys? - Oh, I see

Would it help if I was naked too?

Please don't Don't go to that extreme

Alright, let's Let's get this going because we got business For other bitches to see

It's so horrific to be asked, is it okay if a guy spits in your face?

Is it okay if a guy slaps you and pulls your hair really hard?

But at that time of my life, to me it was like "Oh yeah, that's cool

They want to shoot me At least I'm wanted"

Do you think you might be interested in doing a little hardcore stuff out there?

- How much are we talking? - A thousand

I'll do it I'll do it

Brittni Ruiz who was known to millions as Jenna Presley

One of the biggest stars in the porn industry

Brittni, I remember we had someone on here who was the CEO of a porn company

He said "Women in porn, they were empowered"

You did about three sex scenes a day, did you feel empowered?

In the beginning I felt beautiful Like I felt like I had found my self-worth

And after a while, I felt destroyed, hopeless, I felt helpless

And here we are Come on, bring it right here Come on, baby

Okay

- This is a set - Okay

I was just going to sit down and watch the monitor

- Show her what to do - Okay, well, I guess the first thing we will do

is to show off how beautiful you are

Okay So, this is where porn happen?

M-hm Spin you around

And it wasn't until I went into the church and truly surrendered my life to God

and I said "God, whatever your word says in this book right here,

I'm gonna do it Whatever it says, I'm gonna do it"

And I started following all of his commands, every word that I saw in this Bible

I started to just do it

I hit rock bottom in the porn industry twice

Uhm, the first one was really, really bad

Okay, let's all stand for prayer

This was the time where I was a full-blown heroin addict I was doing a lot of it

Father, we come before you, Lord in the name of Jesus

And, God I thank you for what you're doing in these women's lives, Lord

I was depressed and I was suicidal I wanted to take my life,

but I was such a people pleaser

that I felt like I was gonna let the directors down

if I didn't show up to perform a scene

[Jenna} God, I thank you that we are learning to take the limits off of ourselves

that we could do all things through Christ who strengthens us

So, I thought "Okay" I can't commit suicide

because there's too many people that are counting on me"

I wanted to cut my wrist,

I wanted to do something, I just want to hurt myself,

I just wanted to feel something I felt so numb and I felt so lonely

And I ended up just going to a tattoo shop and I started getting tattoos all over my body

because I thought at least then I can feel something, you know

Ans then the next day when I went to go do the movie, I had a girl tell me

"What did you do to yourself? Why did you get all these big tattoos all over your body?

Nobody's going to want to hire you now" Once again in my life, I felt rejected

And that was that point where I said "Okay, I'm done with the porn industry, I'm leaving

Like I'm not even going to be accepted here anymore"

And so I left for the first time

I thought when I quit the first time, that I was gonna be done

I had gone to church and that was when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior,

but I didn't understand the importance of having a relationship with God

because, having that relationship with God, that's where you get strength

from God is spending time with Him

Do you want something to eat? Or take it later

Do you want me to pray for you?

My weakness at that time

in my life, was men If you sent me a man,

I would instantly fall in love I felt like somebody wanted me

and I almost felt safer because I wasn't alone I had a guy that God placed into my life

and then he took me to church and then I got baptized

I'm reading the Bible and I'm starting to do really good, and then this guy says

"You are gonna be a bigger star than ever before"

It turns out he was a pimp, he got me back into the porn industry

for another three and a half years

It's a vicious cycle, in the porn industry, it starts with one thing

and it's just goes on to the next and to the next and to the next

until you just feel hopeless

I knew that my life was gonna change forever when I met Jesus

because a man cannot change your life Because, a man is not your Savior,

God is our Savior, Jesus is our Savior

That's the only person that could ever transform my life

God used Richard a lot in my life, so to be a part of him moving to change my life

And what I think the Triple X business does, is that it gives you temporary relief

It gives you the sense of wow, people are noticing me, wow, I have money in my pocket

but it doesn't fulfill your heart and your soul It gave her promises

that it cannot fulfill It told her what she could have, but yet,

it didn't fulfill her heart It told her she was gonna be appreciated,

but the moment when she was reaching for help, nobody was reaching out for her

I want you to know that you are not alone Anytime that you feel like you are unworthy,

God wants you to know that you are worthy And It just takes a bold step of faith of saying

"You know what, I'm done" And faith, it's being sure of what you hope for

and certain of what you do not see So you may not see the better life,

but you just have to have faith to believe that there is a better life

and God wants to give you that better life, he really does

For all you new girls, remember that this is forever The internet is completely

and totally forever and you can't take it back,

your friends and family will find out You will get harassed by people

This will affect the rest of your life

I've definitely seen girls in the industry

where I'm like "This is not a good place for you

You shouldn't be here" Uhm, and it is a tough industry

You've got to have guts in porn nowadays because you are going to be judged

So, you have to be okay with yourself and we all struggle, there is insecurities,

we're all nervous about our bodies and our minds and our future

But, you really do have to have a strong will when you come into this industry

Especially, if you're younger and I completely acknowledge that,

it's called "adult entertainment" for a reason

Like you kind of have to be an adult to thrive

I'm really glad that I get to be on your documentary finally

It's about time you guys asked me

I'm lying, they've asked me every time

We're each other's holiday presents every day of the week here on vivid radio SiriusXM

I've actually been with Vivid Radio which is on SiriusXM for the past three years

And then before that, I was on Playboy Radio for 10 years on SiriusXM,

So I just I had like a two week period off

and then just right back in business And I love radio, it is so much fun

It's Vivid radio's winter holiday special

here on SiriusXM 415

Your girls, here to just warm you up this holiday season

I definitely am not over sex after being around since I was 18 in this business

18, that's been in like two decades now

Looking for that lightning bolt to strike me

Hey, boys, I'm Christy

- What's your fantasy? - I've got to hand it to you, Paul,

you outdid yourself this time

I got in trouble because my girlfriend and I made

Playboys and we sold them to the boys

They were like stick figures

But like I'm sure there was like this big weeny

going on and boobs or something

So, I think it was from an early age

that I'd somehow been in some kind of a business

with nudity, I guess I don't know

When I got in the business, I wasn't talking to my parents

Never was abused, I don't fall under that, never was hit,

never was molested by anyone I was just rebellious

And I just knew that I'd I had to be in control of my life when I was 17 and moved out

So, when I got into the business and I had no money, nothing And I hated that, like

I hated being in that position and then when I met somebody and they're

"Oh, you can make, you know, 500 a day or 200, whatever"

For an 18-year-old that was making like 150 a week working 40 hours at a job,

it was like "Wow"

You don't need a car like this

to take a beautiful woman out

- You're a beautiful woman - Thank you

My first scenes that I look back on, nothing against Ron Jeremy because he's one

of my best friends and I love him, that was the scariest fucking day of my life

Looking for

hot babe with big huge tits

for a loving couple

Like I really thought I was going to a magazine or whatever

and it was a loop, which I didn't know what a loop was at 18,

it turned out it was a porn, and I'd been doing magazines for like three or four months

Uhm, it was with Ron Jeremy and another couple

Come on

- Well Oh, what the fuck - Alright Yeah

And it was just scary I don't care who the guy or girl was,

it was like "Oh my God, I'm having sex on film" How And I don't mean to be mean

because it turned out great for me eventually "How low has my fucking life sunk?"

Oh, my God Thank you, Lord Oh, God

But, then like the next time I did a scene and it was with Ginger Lynn

- Let's take a bath together - Together in there?

I'd never been with a girl I was like "Not only is it with a girl,

but look how cute she is"

There was a whole different vibe on the set It was like these really great looking people

Like I get to have sex with them and they're paying me I felt like a movie star

I did a lot of firsts on camera, inter-racial, gangbang, girls

I didn't know what was going to happen, but then he introduced me

to this beautiful woman, Catherine

Well, hurry up and get to the good stuff

Eighties, we made nothing, but fuck it was fun It was fun,

learned a lot about sex, can't put a price tag on that

Has TV almost gotten you to a point of turning it off?

Well, don't pull that plug, because we're going to turn you on

This business has had more integrity for me

I don't think you have to sleep your way in po At least not in the '80's and '90's

It's like they were like "Oh, my God, a girl wants to fuck on film for $500?

Hire her" Like they didn't wanna like ruin a good thing

because back in the '80's, very few girls were doing it

Never made to do a se Like a sex act that I wasn't got,

I never did anal, I never did DP, not because there's anything wrong with it, wasn't my choice

No one said "Well, we can't hire you if you don't take two dicks up your ass" No

In September of 1990 is when I signed my contract with,

what was then known as Vivid Video

And it was the best move

I never left Because the fucking '90's rocked money-wise

I mean, they were amazing

I never compared myself to anyone I was my own person

I didn't have to be number one

I mean I kind of was

Men are only after two things,

pussy and money, and fortunately, I've got both

And then in here is the messy office

Like this photo that was taken of me, about two years ago

Oh, that is lovely No, I'm just kidding It's like 1985 This was a big fucking hit

and I made $400 off of it

And so Oh, you know what, this was another great thing

It's a little dusty My action figure doll

I wouldn't wanna meet that version of me in a dark alley

Hey, wait, where's that nice young boy?

I was going to give him a tub of Vivid condoms

That's for you It's your little party gift

There you go Wear them in good health

It was just a different time It was innocent It was underground

It was hidden It was wonderful and it was just a cozy little family

The one thing that I will never ever get rid of, and it's in my office,

it's a big poster from one of the AVN shows of all the Vivid girls, Janine, Jenteal

and we all signed a poster to each other See? That's the thing with me

That's why I have no bad feelings about this business I never took any of it seriously

It's a sex clinic ran by Dr Phil Lashio

It was just my job and a fun fucking job

- Who wants to see me fuck the shit out of Steve? - Yes Yes

I mean, I took a break for maybe a year, came back I made like three comebacks

Every time I got divorced, I'd make a comeback As they were like moving out,

I'd be like, "Time to make a comeback, Steve Yeah, wait, he's packing up now"

Yeah, okay I'm ready Uh-huh All right Yes, it was great while it lasted All right"

So, anyway, can you get Tony to dashy up, always want to have sex with him"

I just didn't miss a beat I don't have one complaint about the business

I loved it I loved it If I could go back in time and do films again under that era,

I would do it in a heartbeat I mean, I knew that there was a certain age

where I wanted to hang it up I don't even know why

I think 14 years was enough, but I thought

"What do I want to do after porn ends?"

- Annie Cruise, what is your cock fucking choice for the holidays? - Oh, lot of anal

The new girl today They will do anything

So, I felt this warm sensation in my throat and I'm going

"Oh, my God" I wasn't expecting I didn't mean to be honest,

- I didn't even know what it was - The majority of men, they want to fuck a woman's ass

Rap their dick in a little bow and then, they can come feed it to me

She can do triple vag, triple anal

Have them faced

like their ass facing me

I want the tit fucking Christmas cocks

- It's going to be like a fuck of the year - It's just fun

It's just a good Good old like,

I uhm, don't know if I can make films again,

and yet, I love the business

So it just kind of keeps me in the loop

And I think just through porn and even radio,

I've learned so much more about sex, obviously

I mean people call in and they give me tips sometimes

Something about a loofa on her boyfriend's dick

I don't know I tried it It was actually good

Thank you, Bob in Michigan

This is an entertainment business, and entertainment is tough,

and it's competitive And it's not particularly fair

Because people get very excited and they think

it's easy money coming from all directions

And You can get a quick influx of money when you're brand new,

but you have to make sure that you're sustaining yourself long terms

Well, back in the day, people would shoot one movie

and you would get up to $30,000 for shooting one movie It's not like that anymore

I think the most valuable thing a performer especially can do nowadays

is make, produce, and own your own content

I produce my own content,

I webcam, I do custom videos I do porn

I do a little bit of camming, a little bit of everything

I made an identity out of myself and that was the best thing that I ever did

was trademarking myself and creating a brand

I think now more than ever, performers really do have

more control over their brands and their success

and their future than ever before

Having an extra that extra income

gives you the ability to say

"You know what, no, I don't wanna shoot that scene

I'm gonna shoot the type of scenes that I want to shoot and I want to be

This is the way that I want people to see me"

Boy on a Dolphin, Sophia Loren This woman could come out of the ocean

He was laughing at me, the boy He was all good, so big

She was in my opinion and still is the sultry siren It was incredible to me

So, I wanted to relive that, and feel that on stage

And every time, still to this day, it's why I haven't stopped

My father was in the Vietnam war He's hippie He was drafted over to Vietnam,

met my mother there They were both very young and they fell in love fast

My mother, she did the best she could I think that after 10 years,

she saw a bigger world outside of Montana, and was like,

So, I was raised by my father My father and I from a very early age

had a very close relationship My dad was into Rock and Roll

He grew weed He was studying to be a winemaker You know, he was a bit rogue

Even if he personally didn't like something, I knew that I could go home

So at age 13, we enrolled me in Barbizon Modeling school

I think just out of necessity

Welcome to Barbizon

So he said "She'll go to this modeling school

These, you know These people will teach her

everything she needs to know and she'll come out a lady"

And you become a really unique and wholesome person

Okay, sort of

I look at these pictures of myself, and I can I can tell you

every single picture I've ever taken, where I've been

I was 15, living abroad, working as a model

Now this, I think, this would be considered trafficking

But I remember my dad always said, you know,

the one thing he wanted me to be was fearless

Paulina Porizkova was the first model that I can remember being wow

And it was because she'd been in Playboy

I'd taken my dad had that issue with her on the cover

She was a supermodel, Paulina

Seeing her in that Playboy, really changed it for me, because I realized

"Wait, you can do both You can be an elegant woman

and show your body and, you know, uh, get naked, and it's okay"

You know, the more fashion models that I saw,

Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington,

this was Yasmeen Ghauri This was the height of the supermodel

There was something missing about them, in my opinion, and it was that they weren't sexual

They just didn't I always kind of gravitated to Sophia Loren,

Marilyn Monroe I liked I liked the va-va-voom

I found myself attracted to women

that were, in my opinion, just uninhibited

♪ Pa-dam pa-dam pa-tudeli-dam, pooh ♪

You're really treated

If you don't work, we have 10,000 other girls

It's not ten, it's not five, it's 10,000 other girls So, I gave up modeling

I came to Los Angeles, I wanted to pursue working as a nurse anesthetist

I had applied at school here

I was just thinking that you might be a model, are you?

No, I'm a student Can't you tell?

- Oh - Yeah, I just came home from school

Playboy was doing one of their Girls of the Campus

or I don't even remember the exact title

And I can remember going through the Playboy Studio West in Santa Monica

It's kind of the first taste I had had of They brought me champagne

Marilyn said "You're great" I went to The Mansion a week later I'm like

"You know what, hmm, nursing just isn't gonna cut it anymore"

You get a taste of this amazing life

It was 10 star, you had publicity They took such good care of us

I'm the only woman who's been featured on the cover of Pent

I was Penthouse Pet of the Year in February of 2002

and Playboy, on the cover of Playboy, the same month

The crazy thing is, so, the gateway to porn for me was Playboy

How could I not get into the business? I was introduced in the most incredible way

And, I mean, I didn't have to do a six guy bukkake, right? It was like I went to Playboy

If some girls aren't even college educated, this is a dream I had a college degree

and I wasn't making even a quarter of the money, so where was I going to continue?

My first crush in porn was Janine Lindemulder

And I'll always remember she wore jeans, blue jeans and a white tank top with no bra

She was smiling so big and she came over and hugged me

And I was like "This is This is where I need to be This is it I'm I'm in"

I feel like this is a fantasy and I'm making it come true

Yeah, even better if you took off that part That The top bra thing

I realized if I'm getting into this, I have to make it worth my while

Once you've had a dick in your mouth, you can never go back You can't un-ring the bell

Tera Patrick and the flesh

There goes anonymity

In a way, I think that early on in my career,

I explored a lot of my sexualities I think anal was the hardest thing

I can't believe I whispered that anal, you know, I mean it was taboo a little bit

I mean it was kind of like "Okay, now she's gonna do anal" You know

Actually, for me, what was a big deal was I never did girl-girl

It's hot in here Could we take off all our clothes? My God

So when I did my first girl-girl scene in 2003,

and of course, it was with a really beautiful woman, Savannah,

with Vivian, for Tera, Tera, Tera

Tera, Tera, Tera

It was a great experience for me, but I was ready

I never did anything that I didn't want to do Ever

We're out and open with what we do I've always said,

why do you think I wasn't in the mainstream? I have my own production

You know, I'm making my own money I'm doing what I want to do

I don't want to do mainstream I like sucking dick That's what I'm famous for

I didn't cure cancer You know what I mean? I I'm famous for being Tera Patrick

And I can remember being in con And I was on the red carpet too, and I had a police escort

And people, they knew me, they were waiting for pictures

They were waiting, and I said, they've all seen my pussy

My pussy made it to Europe

So how I ended up with Teravision, and on my own in the porn business

starting from 2003

until I retired in 2009, was, uh, I became a feature dancer

And this was what bankrolled my company I went on the road as a feature dancer

where we performed, uh, striptease shows in clubs We made money,

and I would go home and use that money to fund my movies

The sales from my movies, half went into living,

the other half went into savings

We made a lot more money per movie, per scene

A lot of us got residuals, a lot of us owned our content,

owned our company We had many ways to exploit our revenue

I look at my body of work and Teravision, my website, I made beautiful work

I mean, listen, we're not shooting Othello, you know, you

The dialogue doesn't have to be perfect, get the cock in the mouth,

the cum shot on the face and we're good

So, is there anything else I can get you, guys?

I can't think of anything

Yeah, what in the world could we possibly want after that?

The opportunity to work in Italy came up And I said, Italy,

this is the most beautiful country in the world The best food, wine I mean,

yeah, I'm gone I'm going

Anything to do with food or money

is what I learned first in Italian because you have to eat and you have to get paid

And so the first phrase I learned was

Pay me now

I signed a contract to do feature shows My very first feature show,

my now husband Alberto had come from day one

Of course, I wanted to sit on his face,

you know, and this beautiful Italian accent, and

But he fascinated me

This is an open-minded man, I think to even jump in the water

and see what it would be like to swim with me for a while Yeah, it takes balls

I think I feel this one Watch y'all

Okay Here we go

I love the business I love my life now

I'm just gonna I'm gonna keep camming

I'm gonna keep my websites, I'm gonna keep featuring I'm never gonna stop

I'm a pervert I'm never gonna stop dancing and performing on stage

And so, maybe that's when it's gonna end, maybe that's when porn is gonna end

When they stop throwing the dollars I hope not

Guys, come to Cheerleaders next month

I don't know if the analogy is the same, but I feel like it's almost like

being a professional athlete You have a few good years, in my opinion, physically,

to do what you want To make your mark To make your splash

And then, I wanted to go out gracefully

This was something that early on I said "I can't do this till I'm 50"

And I don't want to but, I am so grateful, and I always will be

because I've been retired for 10 years

and I still sell in webcam

And I have thousands of website members

My life in the adult business has not resulted in anything negative for me

Have I hit some speed bumps? Had a lawsuit? Fucked the wrong guy a few times? Sure

But I'm not damaged to a point where I'm bankrupt, destitute,

and trying to figure out "What do I want to do with my life?"

It's a movie industry combine with sex Nothing more

It is what you make of it It's an artistic medium

that is meant to draw out a reaction from people, turned on,

angry, whatever it is, it's working

I really unlocked a piece of my sexuality

that, uhm That was hidden before I got here,

and porn really helped open it up And it's built me confidence

It's different that where you should learn how to have sex, the same way

that you wouldn't watch a waste crapping movie,

and then feel like you have to go slaughter a teenager in a camp

in summer wearing a hockey mask You know what I mean?

So specific

Now so, what should we talk about?

Nina gave me one of the best compliments

when I was put into the whole famous Herschel Savage

"Steel wrapped in skin, that was his cock" I love that

That's an unbelievably

That's a great compliment coming from Nina Hartley Come on

Can you believe it? Sometimes, horses have wings, baby

You know, like I would've taken the next Grinch, but I was happy with what I had

But I never competed with anybody I was not one of those guys, you know

I had literally had the young porn stars come on the set, and tell me shit like

"I could cum eight times in a day I got a nine-inch dick" I said "Nice to meet you

Get the fuck out of my face" No, I didn't say that, but still, I mean, you know,

people try to promote themselves as you know,

give me a break, man Just say hello

I'm looking for the manager, you must be him What's your name?

- You're the manager, right? - Uhm, yeah, hi

- What's your name? - Uh, Boom, uh Bada Boom

How often did you actually had an orgasm?

On film? Are you asking me how often I had an orgasm on film? Is that a real question?

Versus faking

That's my job, it's to have an orgasm, to maintain an erection,

get the footage, and have an orgasm, cum

A lot of people, like Tera said she'd fake it

Well, women can fake it I mean, most women in the business probably aren't cumming

I mean that's But they don't have to, guys have to We're doing real work

I mean, It's hard to believe having an orgasm on camera is work,

but there's some physical, uh strain to it

But no, guys don't, guys don't like I mean yeah

"Herschel, We need you to fuck three girls today, but please don't cum Okay, no problem"

I don't care how you do it, but you have got to make this girl cum,

and when she does, I want you to have this beaker ready and catch every single drop

And to reiterate nobody ever told you to hold your orgasm

for a couple of days to make it more prodigious?

Ah no

No one ever asks me to

hold off on cumming for a couple of days

so I could have a prodigious ejaculate No, no one ever did that

They assume that you All men in the business have these amazing powers and abilities,

but no we don't No, no one ever asks that

I have never had a sexual relationship with any of the White House interns

I played Bill Clinton in a scene with Monica Lewinsky

Monica was played by Asha, the beautiful Asha

And I must say, I mean I got a blowjob under the desk while I'm being interviewed on camera

as Bill Clinton, and she was She just didn't stop

When they cut the camera she kept blowing me

She was the best It's amazing blowjob, so great

Just send me the dry cleaning charge, honey

- What am I doing? Straight? - Uh, well you know, freeway

- West? - Ah, you're gonna go East We're gonna go back towards the house

Alright I'm having a good time I just want to let you know you're doing a good job

- I do I hope you're enjoying the - Are you having a good time?

I think, generally speaking, my scenes are hot,

because of the connection I have with the women

It's hot It's hot stuff, man I think, anyway

I'd really like to finish those planter boxes tomorrow

I was never really kinky I was more of a romantic

I mean, I just loved kissing and For me, it was like a romantic adventure

I mean, you had to still make it hot, but for the most part

those are private intense connections with that woman

So, when I When I watch a scene that I'm in, I'm reliving that moment with that woman

'cause that was so significant to me, and so strong

- Stay a while Talk - Honey, if I stay, we won't be talking

It wasn't even performing, It wasn't performing for me,

it was like, I was, I was, I was with I was with somebody

It was like, it was like a universal snuggle, man

It was great I'm with you, you know It's fucking great

You know you really beautiful? I mean really attractive

I quit the first time in '87 Came back in '97

And, and the difference between women from the '80s to the '90s, was unbelievable

It was like model quality young women, I mean, you know I mean, it was just like

I was selling videotape during my retirement period

realizing I'm never gonna have sex with this woman, you know

- Who're they gonna jump - Nice ass

- Great eye stuff You still got it - I do

- You look really great - Thank you

Light shining behind your head You look like, like an angel

As we can see in the normal entertainment industry

How at risk women are to p men especially

who use their power to take advantage of them

Every woman is hit on whether they're in the adult industry, or not

Then certainly, it's going to be more likely if they're encountering

many of the pigs to populate this industry "Oh, you wanna work?" You know it's like

"Give me a blow " I mean, it's like, I'm gonna be blowing somebody, anyway,

and you're gonna be doing this, anyway I just want to see how

you all are, you know It's bullshit

Everyone becomes objectified And you don't see a woman as a person

and that's a sickness When you're only dealing with the sex

and the need of that It's You're an empty vessel

So, massage parlors scene And I come in and I play the role

of a guy who's coming in for a massage She just pulling

We don't actually have intercourse

She gives me a shower, masturbates me and blows me

One of my one of the hottest scenes ever I masturbate to that scene

I'm sorry, I have to have some kind of life

Anyway, that's a hot scene Check that one out

As I spoke of earlier, this is the scene I just love to watch called

soapy massage And I am the shy massage parlor customer

coming for a normal everyday massage But She is starting to grip my thigh

And she's just, I mean Can you see this?

I'm reacting in horror "Oh, my God, what are you doing?

Oh, no, I shouldn't be doing this

I'm just here to have my muscles workout" My shirt's off,

I shouldn't be shocked anymore What I should be shocked is that I wasn't going to the gym

for three years, that's what I should be shocked about

But here we go You know, I kind of feel embarrassed

being with you people and doing an interview, and now my cock is coming out

You know, so it's almost like, you know It's like forcing your close friend Bob,

to watch your dick getting sucked It's weird Kind of weird

People have been against me from day one Do you, do you see me?

Here I stand, go ahead Try it, I dare you That's the thing

that this industry has taught me I have balls Let me tell you

And I'm very proud of my big balls Because you know what, I know who I am

To be in adult entertainment doesn't have to be a stigma

It doesn't have to be a dark seedy evil place I'm very proud of myself

I'm honest about what I do Who I am and how it is when you're with me

Hopefully, you want to come along for the ride

And If not, then there's another bus or train

or something down the way you can hop on, but hopping on me is always fun

I wanted to build a Jenteal-pyre

I wanted to build an empire of my own

My goal was to have a million dollars in the bank free and clear by the time I hit 30

All right Can I, first of all, I want to know,

what makes you do videos? How come you're here?

My boyfriend and I were very interested in watching porn

I was very interested in girls

I had a huge crush on Janine She was one of the girls that we always looked for

when we went to the adult bookstore You know, it's always kind of in the back

of my mind what would that be like

It's easy You just do what you feel

Never did I think that would come to fruition

Look what the cat dragged it

There was an ad in one of the Berkeley school papers

that was looking for nude models I'd seen the ad

for months and months on end And then when I turned 18, my boyfriend was like,

"You need to call that ad" I wanted to explore that more

And he really wanted me to explore that more

So the ad was run by a man named Zen Burrows, who became my agent

Uh, he had a small little production company called Wildfire Productions

And uhm, a star was born

Are you an exhibitionist? Like to be watched?

I think that being watched can be a turn on at one point

You're being watched now

We'll be watched by several people Several thousand

I only worked with girls in the beginning because I didn't wanna work with guys

Like I only wanted to work with girls I was really curious about it

Oh, yes

Good Girl

So I mean it had only been six months, nine months maybe

Uhm, I'd worked with all of the girls I ever wanted to work with

And Vivid had always told me when I was on their set, uh, that

if you ever want to work with men, we will sign you to a contract

So, I wanted more money

300 dollars?

And I knew that I could get a lot more money working with guys

I mean being a Vivid girl, was a huge accolade

I felt really special that they wanted to sign me

And they reassured me that I'd have control over who I worked with

and that I could insist on condoms

And When I signed with Vivid, my first boy-girl scene

was in Dangerous Games with Alex Sanders He was my first guy

I don't like that kind of talk I don't like it at all

Can you believe these lines

Vivid was definitely the company to work for It was sought after

by everybody in the business And, they sort of, were the elite girls that felt like

you know, it was all of the classics It was Janine, Christie Canyon,

myself, Nikki Tyler, Racquel Darrian Everybody wanted to be a Vivid girl

To be successful as in any business in any industry you have to be unique

and do something different Market yourself in a different way

Steve Hirsch was really big on advertising in a mainstream way

And for a time, he had us all 17 feet tall

on Sunset Boulevard right above Tower Records

And that was huge You know, no other adult company had done anything like that before

Vivid did so many different things in their movies, you know, with costumes

and with locations that I had a bunch of really unique experiences

I know you don't know this yet, but it's a very big world out there

Over my 21st birthday, we were in Hawaii shooting for Vivid and for Playboy

And those two movies that I did in Hawaii were awesome

Hi, I'm Eve The locations were just superb I felt really pretty

My boyfriend was really perfectly okay with the industry

He was perfectly okay with me working with guys in movies

I got into the business with my boyfriend And we got married about five years later

And then six months later, when I got pregnant, I stopped

Everything, I stopped, nude modeling, dancing

I'd pretty much been done with films already Uhm, but for me, that was it

I definitely knew I didn't wanna be a part of the industry

and be pregnant or raising two children

I was born, I felt, to be a mother first and foremost

and my accomplishments in the industry

and with my business were just secondary, but for me, being a mother was it

and I didn't want to have to juggle the two

I honestly after doing so much in the business

and being made up so glamorously for so many years

and all the travel and everything I just really wanted to be a basic bitch

I wanted a flat salary, I wanted to know my hours and and that was it

So, when I was at Trader Joe's, I hurt my back really bad lifting some milk crates

and had to have two back surgeries, that was in 2009

And I've had this injury since then despite the surgeries

Thank you all for coming Uh, I really just wanted an opportunity to, uhm, open up

the discussion about the oil and share my experience and see if you have any questions

Not that long ago a girlfriend posted something on her Facebook page regarding CVD oil

And I'd heard that it helps people you know,

with, with heal cancer I've heard that it helps with,

with a lot of other illnesses and ailments And so I was really curious

I just knew that with my back injury, you know, this was something that was

really going to help me And I was very, very interested

in where the business is going, so I got involved

I don't really feel like my past ever was

it never brought any tumultuousness to my life

There're certain people that certainly don't agree with it and have opinions

Uh, their opinions are their business and they've never really been imposed on me

So I felt like I got away pretty unscathed in that regard, actually

Just having been a fan of porn, I would definitely say

that the porn shot in the '90s was far superior than, uh, than what is shot today

And I definitely think just from a fan's perspective

that the porn then was, was That was a golden era

That little honey pot of my life in my early 20s,

was really, uh They had a lot packed into it, though There was a lot that I experienced,

I mean, a ton I probably lived more life in those five years than most 50 years old

have their entire life

The juice was worth the squeeze, and I wrung that fucker dry, dude

I feel like people frequently think that I'm just a sex object,

and I'm not, I'm a person

And I've literally had guys that I was just hanging out

and they just took their dick out expecting me to do something with it

We need to stop shaming people for being in porn There is no reason to

shame people for being in porn It's a legitimate business It's a real business

- It's a billion dollar business - Everybody always says

"You're in porn, you're an adult entertainer, people are never gonna forget it

They're gonna remember this forever

You are a porn star for life"

And I always thought "Well, use that

and if you're going to be in adult entertainment anyway, try to be

the best version of yourself you can be Try to be as successful

as possible So then When you look back on your career,

you're not looking back on it with regrets"

Take a breath in, bring your ears in line with your shoulders

so your neck is in line with your spine That's it Draw your shoulders back

So, I went to this person's house and I had one drink and after that one drink,

I remember nothing, and woke up the next morning to my IDs

and a consent form on the nightstand And that was when I shot my first film

Every time you exhale, watch what you can let go of more

Physical, mental, the exhalation is a process of letting go

My mother, ah, she didn't raise me, she left me when

I was probably two months old And we haven't really had a relationship

since then and my father was in prison my entire life

My grandparents raised me from four until I was you know, 16 years old

I grew up with my grandfather My grandfather and grandmother

actually separated, they're my mother's parents

So my grandfather raised me I grew up at the horse track with him,

I grew up just in the country

When I was 13, I lost my virginity to a boyfriend and we were in school

He was I was in eighth grade, he was in seventh grade

And my best friend went to church and told all of my family

that I lost my virginity And then the next day, I went to school

to beat up my best friend for, you know, that issue and was then removed from school

and kicked out of school And that was what perpetuated me leaving school in eighth grade

And once that all had happened where I lost my virginity

and moved out from my grandmother's back into my grandfather's,

I started tattooing myself This is a 13-hour tattoo,

I got it when I was 15

My back, I kinda wanted to do like a freak show thing

because it's you know, we're all freaks

Sinatra's everywhere and I have to carry him with me everywhere

I did this and I named her Bonnie Rotten

And I ended up being me

Very quickly, I was very heavily tattooed by the time I was about 17

I started doing car shows, horror shows,

different expos in the Midwest And that kind of like started

my modeling career and I invented Bonnie Rotten

I'm 21 years old, I don't need my mommy and daddy worrying about me Thanks

You know what? I think you're involved in some bad stuff

Bad stuff like what?

Fuck You're a fucking cunt

The genre of horror for me was so important It was almost like a fantasy,

even though it was horror kind of like crazy and scary,

it still was that fantasy world for me that I could really enjoy,

just like people do with porn

My first visit to California happened because I was working on Horror Expo

And they had a pageant for a magazine and I competed in the pageant

And I won the pageant So the prize was like to fly off to California

and shoot this layout for a magazine

So I did it and came out here, shot the magazine and kind of met

some connections in the porn industry So, I'd actually met someone that was on

a podcast at the friend's that I was staying at while I was in town

So I went to this person's house and I had one drink And after that one drink,

I remember nothing

And that was when I shot my first film

You look at him, he has the devil in his soul

I don't think that about most people

Scary, very scary But, he was the only person that I encountered

in the business that was like that After that,

I had the best experiences that I could possibly have

So when I came into the industry, I was told by the bigger companies, like

"We can't shoot you You have too many tattoos We don't know what to do with you"

So, I was introduced to someone at a company called New Sensations

And because of them, they opened the gate for tattooed girls

to be accepted into mainstream porn companies

I was accepted with that movie, Meet Bonnie

Hi, my name is Bonnie Rotten I'm 19 I just turned 19 three weeks ago

It was nominated for a bunch of awards the first year I was in in the business

I was nominated for Best New Starlet, like three months in

How many awards are you nominated for tonight? - Uh 14

The winner is, Bonnie Rotten

And then after that, that was it Everybody shot me,

everybody started hiring me Everybody started putting me on box covers

And then it kinda just took off from there

- Rambo - Colonel, I didn't expect to see you here

Rambo, I need you to abort this mission immediately, soldier

So, I was shooting 10 to 15 times a month, featuring 1-2 1-3 weekends a month

Internationally famous, Bonnie Rotten, in the building

I got to experience a lot

- Bonnie, how you doing? - I'm awesome How are you?

We're doing great This is hard, I don't know where to put my eyes

Right here

One of my most favorite parts of my career, was when I got to travel

to Switzerland and Germany And I did like basically a world tour

I can't go to sleep because I'm excited And I just want to see everything

And I want to go eat and I want to eat all the food,

and I want to try everything I want to do everything

Where I started in South Africa and did something

called SexPo in Johannesburg

Went from there to Switzerland to shoot a movie called Roller Girl

And Went to Hungary to shoot with Rocco Siffredi

And we did Bonnie VS Rocco, which was insane

And it was the best time of my life I got a couple of tattoos, the Berlin bear,

and the Swiss flag and the bull from Barcelona

I really wanted to make porn art You know, 'cause I was shooting so much,

and I was always involved in these things And I was like

"These guys, like they bring us in their, you know their apartment or whatever

And they have a shoot on their couch, in these mansions

But these could be so cool"

Like I have all these ideas Fuck it, I'm going to do it

I put together Anal Candy Disco Chicks

Anal Candy Disco Chicks, Can you get a picture?

Afros, buckets of gumballs, it was insane

And then after that, I directed Cape Fear And I also starred in it as Robert De Niro

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth? God help you all soul

While using my friend's boat in Marina del Rey,

and trying to make sure that none of the mahogany

and nothing was like messed up by the crew It was intense

I made zero money I lost money, but it was fun

Yeah, and I learned, OK, this is crazy and this is fun

But you know, people kinda want simpler stuff,

so, let's kind of dumb down production and give them what they want

The thing about the industry, is you're 18 years old

and you're making 30-40 grand a month You don't know what to do

with that money at 18 years old It's insane

So, that money is very short lived and you're not taught what to do with it

But luckily, I did start a sex toy company that I owned myself

One of the coolest things was these action figures and they fashioned

an action figure from every inch of your body It is completely insane

Every detail, every tattoo, every curl in my hair showed up on this little doll

And we started selling them online and they were doing really great

And people had like little Bonnie figurines, and they could have big ones

When I left the industry, I'd actually met my second husband who I had my daughter with

You know, I was kind of looking for an out

Because I won Performer of the Year the year before

I had to outperform myself, because if you know anything about my films,

like always did the craziest stuff, and there was really nothing more than I could do

that was any crazier than what I was doing without it being

a circus act or me not enjoying it

I like to carry myself a certain way, because I know that as soon as I walk into a room

I'm looked at a certain way Even with the moms at school, like I don't like for them

to get to know me too much because I don't like to lie about my past or who I was

And I don't want to compromise my daughter's life

for her safety or her well-being with her friends at school

because of my past and what the parents think of me

I want for her to have the easiest, safest,

structured life that she can possibly have

There has been some talk about like me returning to the industry,

but because of my daughter, I don't think that I would

Just because I want to be able to say that I walked away when I had her

- and didn't have to return - Exhale, cobra

- Low down, inhale, cobra - I'm very sensitive when it comes to emotions

and things like that, because of the things that have happened to me,

abandonment, those things

I'm I really don't want her to ever feel that way

So, I'm just very hands-on with her

and very attentive and she's my role

I was a very extreme, you know, tattooed hardcore girl when I performed

But In my life, I'm a very sweet, loving, generous person and most people wouldn't think

that about me at all Just by looking at me

Don't ever judge a book by its cover You never know who that person may be

on the inside and you never know where that person may take you

You need to realize that what goes on in the adult industry, is created

for your entertainment It's not reality

Oh, help me out Don't go in Like, yeah

Reality is bumping up against people It's having sex

It's feeling that moment of connection between two people

Right

The digital world can be very, very isolating and dividing if we allow it to be

Yeah, what's the solution though? It's like we just need

to make better choices Let's choose to kiss and hug instead of

Well, and turn it off

- Or turn it on - It should be turned off and on

On