All language subtitles for 40 Year Old Virgin [XviD MP3 DVDrip][MercifulRelease]
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1
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,462
Hey, Andy!
What's up, dude?
2
00:02:05,535 --> 00:02:07,574
Hey, Joe. Hey, Sara.
How you doing?
3
00:02:07,647 --> 00:02:08,758
When you going to get a car?
4
00:02:08,832 --> 00:02:11,897
- Hey, why don't you get a car?
- I can't afford it.
5
00:02:13,952 --> 00:02:17,213
- So, Survivor tomorrow night. We on?
- See you then.
6
00:02:17,281 --> 00:02:19,003
I'll bring a soda.
Hey, enjoy your orange.
7
00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:20,981
- Okay, take care.
- See you. Bye-bye.
8
00:02:21,985 --> 00:02:25,333
- That guy needs to get laid.
- Tell me something I don't know.
9
00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:42,459
Good morning.
10
00:02:47,555 --> 00:02:49,823
Excuse me. Pardon me.
11
00:02:51,107 --> 00:02:52,186
Sorry.
12
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:02,557
Excuse me.
Thank you.
13
00:03:04,996 --> 00:03:07,199
- Good morning.
- Hey.
14
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:09,274
- Good morning, Paula.
- Andy.
15
00:03:10,853 --> 00:03:13,023
Excuse me.
I have a question.
16
00:03:13,542 --> 00:03:18,243
What is the difference between
Hi8 and Digital video tapes?
17
00:03:18,662 --> 00:03:20,799
I'm not a salesman,
so, I could probably...
18
00:03:20,870 --> 00:03:23,454
Welcome to Smart Tech.
How can I be of service to you?
19
00:03:23,623 --> 00:03:25,029
Well, I was just wondering...
20
00:03:25,095 --> 00:03:27,515
what is the difference between these?
21
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:31,109
Well, if I'm photographing
someone as fine as yourself...
22
00:03:31,175 --> 00:03:32,865
I'd probably go Digital.
23
00:03:35,559 --> 00:03:39,617
# Hey, don't worry
I've been lied to #
24
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,326
- My God. Sorry I'm late, man.
- No problem.
25
00:03:49,353 --> 00:03:50,596
Oh, man.
26
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,543
- I had a weekend.
- Yeah?
27
00:03:53,897 --> 00:03:56,831
We went to Tijuana, Mexico,
you know...
28
00:03:56,905 --> 00:03:59,719
and we thought it would be fun,
you know, to go to this show.
29
00:03:59,785 --> 00:04:02,020
Everyone's, "You gotta
check out one of these shows. "
30
00:04:02,089 --> 00:04:04,509
And, you know,
it's a woman fucking a horse.
31
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,908
We get there, and, you know,
we think it's gonna be awesome...
32
00:04:07,979 --> 00:04:11,240
and it is not as cool
as it sounds like it would be, man.
33
00:04:11,594 --> 00:04:13,698
- It's kind of gross.
- Yeah.
34
00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:15,362
You think,
"A woman fucking a horse"...
35
00:04:15,434 --> 00:04:16,960
and you get there and it's...
36
00:04:17,035 --> 00:04:18,822
- ... a woman fucking a horse.
- Yeah.
37
00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:20,799
It was really giving it to her.
38
00:04:21,099 --> 00:04:22,178
And you know what...
39
00:04:22,251 --> 00:04:24,770
to be honest, I felt bad for her.
We all just felt bad for her.
40
00:04:24,844 --> 00:04:26,436
- Yeah.
- Kind of felt bad for the horse.
41
00:04:26,508 --> 00:04:29,606
- Wow, that's something.
- So what did you get up to?
42
00:04:30,412 --> 00:04:33,542
You know, I just kind of hung out.
I was...
43
00:04:34,124 --> 00:04:35,432
God, Friday, when I went home...
44
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,703
I really wanted
an egg-salad sandwich.
45
00:04:37,773 --> 00:04:39,681
And I was just obsessing
about it and I was like:
46
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,665
"Man, I'm gonna make one of those. "
47
00:04:41,742 --> 00:04:45,090
So Saturday I went out and I got,
like, a dozen eggs...
48
00:04:45,166 --> 00:04:47,653
and I boiled them all
and then I just...
49
00:04:47,725 --> 00:04:50,571
I spent, I don't know,
probably three hours...
50
00:04:52,494 --> 00:04:54,086
like, three-and-a-half hours
making...
51
00:04:54,158 --> 00:04:58,052
you know, the mayonnaise
and the onions and paprika...
52
00:04:58,126 --> 00:05:00,099
and, you know, all the accoutrement.
53
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,581
And then, by the time I was done...
54
00:05:01,648 --> 00:05:03,174
I just really didn't feel
like eating it.
55
00:05:03,247 --> 00:05:05,701
- I can imagine.
- And I didn't have any bread.
56
00:05:06,287 --> 00:05:09,450
So, you know, it was pretty good.
It was a good weekend.
57
00:05:09,903 --> 00:05:12,455
- Sounds pretty awesome.
- Yeah, it was fine.
58
00:05:12,527 --> 00:05:13,867
Sounds really fun.
59
00:05:14,832 --> 00:05:16,292
- Cool.
- Cool.
60
00:05:16,368 --> 00:05:17,708
Cool, cool.
61
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,214
- Hey, Paula.
- Yeah.
62
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,677
I gotta tell you something.
I'm really excited about it.
63
00:05:24,753 --> 00:05:28,014
For the first time today,
I woke up...
64
00:05:28,401 --> 00:05:32,230
I came to the store,
and I feel confident to say to you...
65
00:05:32,434 --> 00:05:34,822
that if you don't take
this Michael McDonald DVD...
66
00:05:34,898 --> 00:05:37,166
that you've been playing
for two years straight, off...
67
00:05:37,235 --> 00:05:38,859
I'm going to kill everyone
in the store...
68
00:05:38,931 --> 00:05:40,718
and put a bullet in my brain.
69
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:44,367
- David, what do you suggest we play?
- I don't care. Anything.
70
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:47,311
I would rather watch
Beautician and the Beast.
71
00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:49,833
I would rather listen
to Fran Drescher for eight hours...
72
00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:51,630
than have to listen
to Michael McDonald.
73
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:54,797
Nothing against him, but if I hear
Yah Mo B There one more time...
74
00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:57,201
I'm gonna yah mo burn this place
to the ground.
75
00:05:57,268 --> 00:06:00,049
You're such a smart ass.
Get back on the floor.
76
00:06:02,164 --> 00:06:03,373
Fuck you.
77
00:06:04,692 --> 00:06:07,211
This is a great TV.
Nothing beats a plasma.
78
00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:08,811
What are you doing?
That's my customer.
79
00:06:08,885 --> 00:06:11,950
It certainly is not.
When I came upon her, she was unattended.
80
00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:13,613
- No, that's my...
- Wait.
81
00:06:13,686 --> 00:06:15,659
Go to the checkout there.
Pick up there, please.
82
00:06:15,734 --> 00:06:17,456
She was unattended
because I went to the back...
83
00:06:17,525 --> 00:06:19,247
to get the brochure
that she requested.
84
00:06:19,318 --> 00:06:20,746
I apologize, but it's too late.
85
00:06:20,822 --> 00:06:22,282
The transaction has been completed.
86
00:06:22,358 --> 00:06:24,015
Then you're gonna give me
half the commission.
87
00:06:24,086 --> 00:06:25,492
You'll receive none of the commission.
88
00:06:25,558 --> 00:06:26,964
I need to talk to Paula.
This is crazy.
89
00:06:27,031 --> 00:06:28,012
This is bullshit.
90
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:29,874
Every time I make a sale,
you go crying to Paula.
91
00:06:29,943 --> 00:06:33,106
How about Jesse Jackson?
Old Jesse needs a cause.
92
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,668
Sick of you poaching my customers.
93
00:06:34,743 --> 00:06:36,171
I'm sick of your crybaby bullshit.
94
00:06:36,247 --> 00:06:39,115
You wanna take this shit outside?
Just take it outside and squash it?
95
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:42,321
Let's stay inside, so everybody can see
what a pussy you have, okay?
96
00:06:42,392 --> 00:06:45,707
Because when I remove the blade
I keep in my boot from its sheath...
97
00:06:45,784 --> 00:06:48,500
I can't return it
until it has spilled blood.
98
00:06:48,569 --> 00:06:51,699
Look, listen to me. You are fucking
with the wrong nigger.
99
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:55,542
Hey! You're fucking with
the wrong sun-nigger, okay?
100
00:06:55,609 --> 00:06:57,997
Dude, I will hang your old ass
by your turban.
101
00:06:58,265 --> 00:07:01,133
Turban now? Do you see
any fucking turban here?
102
00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:02,802
Do I talk like a turban guy?
103
00:07:02,874 --> 00:07:05,655
Do I say, "Hey, Jay, do you want a Slurpee?
You want a Slurpee?"
104
00:07:05,722 --> 00:07:08,820
Fuck you, okay?
I was born in Brooklyn.
105
00:07:08,891 --> 00:07:09,904
Brooklyn, okay?
106
00:07:09,979 --> 00:07:13,426
My accent is a fucking
Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?
107
00:07:13,498 --> 00:07:14,773
All right, man.
Calm down, dude.
108
00:07:14,843 --> 00:07:16,914
Look, you still covering
my shift on Friday or what?
109
00:07:16,986 --> 00:07:19,800
If I can keep this commission,
with pleasure.
110
00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:22,615
- Cool, then. All right, pop.
- No problem.
111
00:07:25,436 --> 00:07:27,028
- How about Andy?
- No.
112
00:07:27,389 --> 00:07:28,882
Come on, man.
We need, what, five guys...
113
00:07:28,957 --> 00:07:30,417
- ... to play a decent poker game, right?
- Yeah.
114
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:31,985
If we cancel this,
I'm gonna have to go...
115
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,914
to some stupid-ass
birthday party with Jill...
116
00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:35,189
and that shit ain't happening.
117
00:07:35,261 --> 00:07:36,667
- No.
- Why not?
118
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:40,403
He's a really nice guy and all
but I'm pretty sure that...
119
00:07:40,478 --> 00:07:41,786
he is a serial murderer.
120
00:07:41,853 --> 00:07:43,510
Who cares, man?
He's a nice guy.
121
00:07:43,582 --> 00:07:45,785
I just wanna get drunk,
fucked up, and play some cards.
122
00:07:45,854 --> 00:07:47,893
That's great.
Look, I don't wanna end up a lampshade...
123
00:07:47,965 --> 00:07:49,906
in some creepy apartment,
that's what I'm saying.
124
00:07:49,981 --> 00:07:51,922
I don't really see any other options.
125
00:07:51,998 --> 00:07:54,452
Andy. My man.
126
00:07:55,423 --> 00:07:57,178
You got any plans
later on tonight?
127
00:07:57,247 --> 00:07:59,384
Why, do we have to unload
the Sony truck?
128
00:07:59,455 --> 00:08:02,421
No, the guys are getting together,
we're playing some poker...
129
00:08:02,496 --> 00:08:04,404
thought, you know,
you'd wanna play.
130
00:08:04,672 --> 00:08:05,881
With you guys?
131
00:08:07,423 --> 00:08:09,789
Yeah, sure.
That would be cool.
132
00:08:10,015 --> 00:08:13,113
- You know how to play, right?
- Yeah, I play online sometimes.
133
00:08:13,184 --> 00:08:15,387
- We're gonna play in the store.
- Great.
134
00:08:15,584 --> 00:08:17,012
Are we allowed to do that?
135
00:08:17,088 --> 00:08:18,647
- Absolutely not.
- Yeah.
136
00:08:18,849 --> 00:08:19,796
Oh.
137
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,887
Well, so I'm gonna go tell Paula.
138
00:08:23,074 --> 00:08:24,447
I'm just kidding.
139
00:08:24,512 --> 00:08:27,511
I'm kidding. That sounds great.
Cool, I'll see you guys tonight.
140
00:08:27,585 --> 00:08:28,566
- Okay.
- All right.
141
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,233
Oops.
142
00:08:32,098 --> 00:08:34,039
- I almost feel guilty.
- No, you don't.
143
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,215
Going down!
144
00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:51,549
Going down!
145
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:52,796
Dumbass.
146
00:08:53,636 --> 00:08:55,042
And a full house.
147
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:56,768
- Oh, my dukes!
- What?
148
00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:59,168
How much fucking online poker
do you play, dawg?
149
00:08:59,237 --> 00:09:02,138
For like an hour or two a night,
when I'm not playing Halo.
150
00:09:02,628 --> 00:09:04,994
Why did you invite this guy?
He's a fucking ringer, man.
151
00:09:05,061 --> 00:09:06,205
This is hog shit.
152
00:09:06,277 --> 00:09:08,381
You, you're a fucking asshole
to tell me to come here.
153
00:09:08,453 --> 00:09:10,208
You tell me he was a nice guy,
didn't you?
154
00:09:10,277 --> 00:09:12,512
Well, fuck you people,
and fuck you, you and you...
155
00:09:12,582 --> 00:09:15,450
fuck and kiss my big brown
fucking ass, okay?
156
00:09:15,526 --> 00:09:16,834
I'm gonna see you tomorrow.
157
00:09:16,902 --> 00:09:17,915
- Peace.
- All right, man.
158
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,134
Fuck a goat.
159
00:09:20,454 --> 00:09:22,209
- Good night.
- I love that guy.
160
00:09:22,278 --> 00:09:25,092
Dude, you totally...
Oh, shit, I gotta go. Damn.
161
00:09:25,158 --> 00:09:26,750
About to go see Ellen
in a little bit.
162
00:09:26,823 --> 00:09:28,229
Going now?
Late-night action, huh?
163
00:09:28,295 --> 00:09:29,341
Dude, you know how it goes.
164
00:09:29,415 --> 00:09:31,803
Does your girlfriend know
about all these late-night visits?
165
00:09:31,879 --> 00:09:33,372
It's like an unspoken agreement.
Yeah.
166
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,382
It's like a completely
and utterly unspoken agreement.
167
00:09:36,455 --> 00:09:38,526
If you knew her, if you knew
who I was dealing with...
168
00:09:38,599 --> 00:09:39,775
you wouldn't be saying this shit.
169
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,668
There's nothing you can't do
with this woman...
170
00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:43,742
straight up and down.
I've done every single thing...
171
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,637
I could possibly create.
I've literally lubed up...
172
00:09:45,704 --> 00:09:47,972
and made love to the arches
of her feet. All right.
173
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,086
- Wow!
- Yeah.
174
00:09:49,161 --> 00:09:50,753
- Foot fuck!
- That's sick, man.
175
00:09:50,825 --> 00:09:52,285
- Wow.
- That is not sick.
176
00:09:52,681 --> 00:09:54,535
- I will give you sick.
- Oh, shit.
177
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,282
I was sleeping with a woman
recently, she had the...
178
00:09:57,353 --> 00:10:00,516
- Her tits were unbelievable.
- Oh, man, I love titties.
179
00:10:01,098 --> 00:10:03,552
And so we're doing it
and I'm about to finish...
180
00:10:03,626 --> 00:10:05,567
and her dog starts licking my ass.
181
00:10:05,642 --> 00:10:09,798
I swear to God, I have to decide,
do I finish or do I stop the dog?
182
00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:11,688
I know your nasty ass.
He finished.
183
00:10:11,755 --> 00:10:14,023
I finished.
And then I stole the dog.
184
00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:16,834
No, I didn't, but...
185
00:10:17,099 --> 00:10:19,465
You know, sometimes,
Amy and I would make love...
186
00:10:19,531 --> 00:10:21,570
till it was almost like
we weren't two people...
187
00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:24,195
but we were two spirits
or something.
188
00:10:24,268 --> 00:10:27,333
Our souls were connected in this way,
I can't describe it.
189
00:10:27,404 --> 00:10:30,851
Time stood still. It was like we were
sharing the same heart.
190
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:34,566
Stop, man! Why do you always come
and kill the vibe with those things?
191
00:10:34,636 --> 00:10:36,522
"Sharing the same heart,"
that's like some...
192
00:10:36,588 --> 00:10:37,667
Britney Spears shit, man.
193
00:10:37,741 --> 00:10:40,609
This is three grown ass men,
don't nobody want to hear that shit.
194
00:10:40,685 --> 00:10:42,855
Yeah, man, come on,
nobody wants to hear that shit.
195
00:10:42,926 --> 00:10:45,380
Thank you, Andy.
Dude, you broke up two years ago.
196
00:10:45,454 --> 00:10:47,787
- You get over it at some point.
- Two years, man.
197
00:10:47,854 --> 00:10:49,347
You need to get past that...
198
00:10:49,421 --> 00:10:52,519
because no ass is worth thinking
that much about...
199
00:10:52,846 --> 00:10:54,022
I always say.
200
00:10:54,286 --> 00:10:55,659
Andy, do me a favor.
201
00:10:55,727 --> 00:10:58,988
Would you please help him redeem himself
by telling a real sex story?
202
00:10:59,055 --> 00:11:00,002
Yes.
203
00:11:01,263 --> 00:11:04,524
I don't... You know what,
I'm a gentleman and I don't...
204
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,314
I don't kiss and tell.
205
00:11:06,384 --> 00:11:09,579
Fuck it, I raise you.
Nastiest shit you've ever done.
206
00:11:09,839 --> 00:11:11,463
I'm talking about nasty.
207
00:11:12,656 --> 00:11:13,637
Wow.
208
00:11:13,776 --> 00:11:16,677
So many stories are running
through my head right now.
209
00:11:18,673 --> 00:11:20,101
I dated this girl...
210
00:11:20,657 --> 00:11:24,104
for a while, and she was
really a nasty freak.
211
00:11:24,178 --> 00:11:28,847
She just loved to get down
with sex all the time.
212
00:11:28,913 --> 00:11:31,367
She was like, any time of day,
she was like:
213
00:11:31,442 --> 00:11:34,059
"Yeah, let's go. I'm so nasty. "
214
00:11:34,162 --> 00:11:35,405
And I'd be nailing her.
215
00:11:35,474 --> 00:11:36,650
- Oh, shit.
- She'd be like:
216
00:11:36,722 --> 00:11:38,990
"Oh, you're nailing me. Cool. "
217
00:11:39,219 --> 00:11:42,513
- She talk dirty to you?
- She loved to dirty-talk.
218
00:11:43,154 --> 00:11:45,291
Totally into it.
She'd be like:
219
00:11:45,362 --> 00:11:50,118
"Yeah, let's screw, let's...
I wanna fuck. "
220
00:11:51,091 --> 00:11:52,650
God, it was so dirty.
221
00:11:53,108 --> 00:11:57,035
She'd be like, "Me so horny,
me love you long time. "
222
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,281
So...
223
00:11:58,356 --> 00:12:01,137
- So what were the titties like?
- Yeah, describe her...
224
00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:03,210
Yeah, she had great tits.
225
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:06,347
No, I mean, like, detailed.
Did she have, like, you know...
226
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,143
- ... them little pink teeny nipples.
- Oh, yeah.
227
00:12:08,213 --> 00:12:10,601
Or like the long
National Geographic nipples.
228
00:12:10,677 --> 00:12:13,131
You have like the bumpy Braille nipples,
the Stevie Wonders.
229
00:12:13,205 --> 00:12:14,513
Yeah, they were nice.
230
00:12:14,582 --> 00:12:17,680
You know, when you, like,
you grab a woman's breast and it's...
231
00:12:18,006 --> 00:12:20,110
And you feel it and...
232
00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:24,681
it feels like a bag of sand
when you're touching it.
233
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:27,250
Bag of sand?
234
00:12:29,399 --> 00:12:31,340
You know what I mean.
Why don't we just play?
235
00:12:31,415 --> 00:12:33,007
Why don't you just deal the cards?
236
00:12:33,079 --> 00:12:34,638
What are you talking about?
237
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,685
Have you ever felt
a breast before, man?
238
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:37,707
Yes.
239
00:12:37,783 --> 00:12:40,237
- Dude, are you gay?
- No, I'm not gay.
240
00:12:40,312 --> 00:12:41,871
I've been with tons of women.
241
00:12:41,944 --> 00:12:43,885
I touched a guy's balls
at Hebrew school once.
242
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,846
Dude, it's not a big deal.
You like to fuck guys.
243
00:12:45,912 --> 00:12:48,431
I'm cool. I got friends
who fuck guys, in jail.
244
00:12:48,632 --> 00:12:49,808
No, I'm not gay.
245
00:12:49,881 --> 00:12:52,749
No, I've borked a lot of women
in my day.
246
00:12:52,825 --> 00:12:53,904
You've "borked"?
247
00:12:54,137 --> 00:12:56,819
Hold up.
Yo, answer this question:
248
00:12:57,816 --> 00:12:59,124
Are you a virgin?
249
00:13:00,634 --> 00:13:01,942
Are you a virgin?
250
00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:04,276
Yeah, not since I was 10.
251
00:13:04,346 --> 00:13:06,800
It all makes sense.
You're a virgin.
252
00:13:06,874 --> 00:13:09,294
- I am... Shut up.
- How does that happen?
253
00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:10,744
He's a fucking virgin.
254
00:13:10,810 --> 00:13:13,973
I knew it. That makes so much sense, man.
Look, he's a virgin.
255
00:13:14,042 --> 00:13:16,245
- You guys are hilarious.
- All right, come on, don't be mean.
256
00:13:16,314 --> 00:13:18,320
I'm not being mean.
I'm trying to help the partner out.
257
00:13:18,395 --> 00:13:20,052
I'm trying to say
I wanna get you laid, dude.
258
00:13:20,123 --> 00:13:21,267
I understand what's going on.
259
00:13:21,339 --> 00:13:24,055
You guys are so up your asses.
260
00:13:24,251 --> 00:13:27,512
From now on, your dick is my dick.
I'm getting you some pussy.
261
00:13:37,532 --> 00:13:41,786
A bag of sand! Come on, man!
You could do better than that.
262
00:13:42,205 --> 00:13:45,520
God, me so horny?
Me so stupid!
263
00:13:51,358 --> 00:13:52,818
Oh, come on.
264
00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:58,354
It's gonna be fine.
They don't even remember.
265
00:13:58,431 --> 00:14:00,121
Those guys are cool.
266
00:14:07,584 --> 00:14:09,044
This is gonna be bad.
267
00:14:10,207 --> 00:14:11,733
Yeah, well,
virgin's not a dirty word.
268
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,748
You know what's a dirty word,
is asshole...
269
00:14:13,824 --> 00:14:15,252
and that's what you guys are.
270
00:14:15,329 --> 00:14:18,427
You know, I may not have had sex,
but I could fuck you up.
271
00:14:20,353 --> 00:14:21,529
Yeah.
272
00:14:26,752 --> 00:14:27,928
Come on.
273
00:14:30,882 --> 00:14:32,572
- Hey, David.
- Hey, Andy.
274
00:14:35,618 --> 00:14:37,591
- What's up?
- Cal, good morning.
275
00:14:42,947 --> 00:14:44,375
- Hey, Andy.
- Hey.
276
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,304
We're gonna have to get you
some punani.
277
00:14:48,771 --> 00:14:51,999
Andy, it's going down,
partner. We're gonna be...
278
00:14:54,276 --> 00:14:56,446
This for you, partner, this for you.
279
00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:59,362
Waves of them coming at you
on Friday, Saturday.
280
00:14:59,429 --> 00:15:01,916
By Sunday,
your nuts gonna be drained.
281
00:15:01,989 --> 00:15:05,468
Hey, Andy, don't let him bother you.
It's okay not to have sex.
282
00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:07,874
Not everybody is a pussy magnet.
283
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:11,714
- What are you? 25?
- I'm 40.
284
00:15:11,909 --> 00:15:14,396
Holy shit, man.
You've got to get on that.
285
00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:18,623
Life isn't about sex.
Life is about children and passion.
286
00:15:19,014 --> 00:15:19,961
Yeah.
287
00:15:20,038 --> 00:15:22,044
- And spirit.
- Yeah, life's about passion.
288
00:15:22,118 --> 00:15:24,572
It's not about fucking
and balls and pussy.
289
00:15:24,646 --> 00:15:27,809
It's about love.
It's about people.
290
00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:31,266
- It's about connection.
- It's all about connections.
291
00:15:31,335 --> 00:15:35,328
It's not about cock and ass and tits
and butthole pleasures.
292
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,057
It's not about
butthole pleasures at all.
293
00:15:37,128 --> 00:15:40,226
It's not about this rusty trombone
and dirty Sanchez.
294
00:15:40,295 --> 00:15:43,141
- Please stop.
- And Cincinnati bowtie.
295
00:15:43,303 --> 00:15:47,874
And your pussy juice cocktail
and this shit-stained balls.
296
00:15:47,945 --> 00:15:49,373
- Mooj, just please stop.
- Just relax...
297
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,553
All right.
That's enough, party's over.
298
00:15:51,849 --> 00:15:53,506
Let the virgin get back to work.
299
00:15:57,737 --> 00:15:58,816
Andy!
300
00:15:59,113 --> 00:16:01,381
Andy, come on.
We were just kidding.
301
00:16:01,738 --> 00:16:02,751
Pointless.
302
00:16:02,825 --> 00:16:05,028
Andy, nobody cares
that you're a virgin.
303
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,853
Don't be such a baby.
304
00:16:06,954 --> 00:16:09,222
They were just having fun.
They didn't mean anything.
305
00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:11,012
- Get away from me, David.
- Wait a minute.
306
00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:12,904
- Stop following me!
- Hold up.
307
00:16:16,362 --> 00:16:18,117
- Hold on.
- I'm gonna have to quit my job now.
308
00:16:18,187 --> 00:16:19,396
You don't have to quit your job.
309
00:16:19,467 --> 00:16:21,222
You know what, I don't wanna
go out with you guys.
310
00:16:21,291 --> 00:16:22,566
- Fine.
- Okay? I don't need your help.
311
00:16:22,635 --> 00:16:25,023
Okay, fine, you don't have to go out
with us if you don't want.
312
00:16:25,099 --> 00:16:27,519
You know what, I respect women,
I love women.
313
00:16:27,852 --> 00:16:31,080
I respect them so much that I completely
stay away from them.
314
00:16:31,308 --> 00:16:33,445
- Okay.
- I have a very fulfilling life.
315
00:16:37,068 --> 00:16:40,744
And now, I am making
your silver pants blue.
316
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,617
Get some roadburn, come on!
317
00:16:43,918 --> 00:16:45,989
Come on, sucker!
318
00:16:46,062 --> 00:16:49,257
# Now, pretty ladies
around the worid #
319
00:16:49,422 --> 00:16:51,395
# Got a weird thing
to show you #
320
00:16:52,685 --> 00:16:54,211
Oh, my God!
321
00:16:58,223 --> 00:17:00,905
Hey, Will and Grace, back to work.
322
00:17:00,975 --> 00:17:03,079
Hey, Haziz, can you just
give us a second?
323
00:17:03,151 --> 00:17:05,354
We're just kind of
in the middle of something.
324
00:17:05,456 --> 00:17:07,048
I'm on my break, okay?
325
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,453
Fuck off, Haziz.
Leave us alone, all right?
326
00:17:09,519 --> 00:17:11,525
- Fuck off? Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
327
00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:13,485
- Fuck you! Fuck off.
- Fuck off.
328
00:17:13,551 --> 00:17:15,208
I'm gonna kick you in the nuts,
asshole.
329
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,378
Hey, hey! Watch the language, okay?
I have a family.
330
00:17:18,449 --> 00:17:19,495
Watch how you talk to me!
331
00:17:19,568 --> 00:17:22,436
It's a free country, Bambi.
I can smoke out here if I want to.
332
00:17:22,513 --> 00:17:23,722
Smoke my pole.
333
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,996
- You are a very unkind man.
- Get inside!
334
00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:27,341
This is not professional.
335
00:17:27,408 --> 00:17:29,611
Paula, this asshole over here...
336
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:31,403
- It's okay.
- Paula!
337
00:17:31,505 --> 00:17:33,871
It's all right. Come on.
You know, it's just...
338
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,173
So, how could this not have happened?
339
00:17:36,242 --> 00:17:38,063
It just never happened.
340
00:17:38,482 --> 00:17:41,743
When I was young, I tried,
and it didn't happen.
341
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:45,648
And then I got older and I got
more and more nervous...
342
00:17:45,779 --> 00:17:49,040
because it hadn't happened yet.
And I got kind of...
343
00:17:49,971 --> 00:17:52,523
weirded out about it.
Then it really didn't happen...
344
00:17:52,596 --> 00:17:55,661
and then, I don't know,
I just kind of stopped trying.
345
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:58,284
Do you want to give it
another shot?
346
00:17:58,356 --> 00:18:00,046
Maybe it's too late.
347
00:18:01,108 --> 00:18:03,790
Sometimes I feel that
it is just too late for me.
348
00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:06,095
No, that's crazy.
349
00:18:06,164 --> 00:18:09,010
You're 40 years old.
You know, 40 is the new 20.
350
00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:10,985
You wanna spend the next 60 years
of your life...
351
00:18:11,061 --> 00:18:12,489
never experiencing sex?
352
00:18:12,566 --> 00:18:14,539
And not just sex, but love...
353
00:18:14,613 --> 00:18:19,347
and a relationship, and laughing
and cuddling and all that shit.
354
00:18:19,958 --> 00:18:21,233
I don't know.
355
00:18:22,422 --> 00:18:25,454
- I wouldn't know what to do.
- Look, you gotta take a risk.
356
00:18:25,526 --> 00:18:27,118
You gotta risk it.
Look at me.
357
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,011
I went out with this girl
for four months...
358
00:18:29,079 --> 00:18:30,736
and it was the greatest...
359
00:18:31,383 --> 00:18:33,040
greatest thing in my life.
360
00:18:33,944 --> 00:18:37,685
Until she went down on this
guy in an Escalade, I think.
361
00:18:38,328 --> 00:18:39,788
And, you know, instead of saying:
362
00:18:39,863 --> 00:18:42,731
"Okay, what am I doing
that caused this behavior?"...
363
00:18:42,807 --> 00:18:44,562
I dumped her. Stupid decision.
364
00:18:44,632 --> 00:18:47,380
I spent the last two years
of my life regretting it.
365
00:18:47,448 --> 00:18:49,269
Why don't you get her back right now?
366
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,343
Because she's dating this pot dealer.
367
00:18:51,417 --> 00:18:52,976
Stupid horrible decision.
368
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:56,081
But, hey, that's her journey, you know.
I gotta respect that.
369
00:18:56,153 --> 00:18:57,362
I gotta give her the space.
370
00:18:57,434 --> 00:19:01,208
She wants to be some immature little bitch
and blow everybody...
371
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:03,215
- ... that's love, man.
- It sounds horrible.
372
00:19:03,290 --> 00:19:05,361
Of course it's horrible.
It's suffering...
373
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:07,853
and it's pain and it's...
You know, you lose weight...
374
00:19:07,930 --> 00:19:09,358
and then you put back on weight...
375
00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:11,440
and then you call them
a bunch of times...
376
00:19:11,515 --> 00:19:14,743
and you try and email and then they move
or they change their email...
377
00:19:14,811 --> 00:19:16,271
but that's just love.
378
00:19:16,731 --> 00:19:18,585
Do you realize that
this is the first time...
379
00:19:18,651 --> 00:19:20,854
we've spoken for more than,
like, 30 seconds?
380
00:19:20,923 --> 00:19:21,936
Uh-huh.
381
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:25,048
- It's kind of nice.
- Come out with us this weekend.
382
00:19:25,756 --> 00:19:28,057
No pressure.
We'll just have a good time.
383
00:19:28,284 --> 00:19:30,803
Okay, yeah, I will.
I'll give it a shot.
384
00:19:30,877 --> 00:19:31,858
Great.
385
00:19:31,933 --> 00:19:34,037
But I'm not going to have sex
with anybody.
386
00:19:34,108 --> 00:19:36,725
Good, sex should be
the last thing on your mind.
387
00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:50,043
Logjam. Hi.
388
00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:56,657
Shit.
389
00:20:00,127 --> 00:20:01,238
Oh, God.
390
00:20:05,375 --> 00:20:06,486
Sorry.
391
00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:09,819
See you later.
Thanks for the dance.
392
00:20:18,945 --> 00:20:20,886
I'm okay. It's all right.
393
00:20:26,689 --> 00:20:28,476
Oh, come on, bus!
394
00:20:34,946 --> 00:20:37,017
Oh, come on, dogs!
395
00:20:40,034 --> 00:20:41,888
Shit! You gotta be kidding me.
396
00:20:57,540 --> 00:21:01,019
I mean, I'm kind of nervous.
I never had oral sex before.
397
00:21:01,508 --> 00:21:05,947
Jennifer told me how to do it.
It's gonna kick ass.
398
00:21:12,133 --> 00:21:13,790
What are you doing?
399
00:21:13,862 --> 00:21:15,202
Okay, just...
We're almost there.
400
00:21:16,294 --> 00:21:18,562
We have one.
Houston, we have one.
401
00:21:19,302 --> 00:21:21,439
You'll pull my fucking hair out!
402
00:21:21,510 --> 00:21:23,331
- We did it.
- God!
403
00:21:23,398 --> 00:21:25,022
Oh, my God,
you came in your pants.
404
00:21:25,093 --> 00:21:27,775
- What did you do?
- I had some Cream of Wheat.
405
00:21:28,263 --> 00:21:30,466
- You know what else is sexy?
- What?
406
00:21:31,014 --> 00:21:32,638
- Me...
- Yeah?
407
00:21:32,711 --> 00:21:33,855
...sucking...
408
00:21:35,175 --> 00:21:37,595
on your...
409
00:21:38,183 --> 00:21:39,164
toe.
410
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,061
- That's what you want to suck on?
- Yeah.
411
00:21:41,127 --> 00:21:45,250
- It's just so big and thick.
- Okay.
412
00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:48,163
Yeah.
413
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,027
That tickles.
414
00:21:53,129 --> 00:21:55,102
I'm sorry. Oh, no.
415
00:21:55,177 --> 00:21:57,118
- Your nose is bleeding.
- You think?
416
00:21:57,193 --> 00:21:59,494
- I'm sorry.
- I'm hot.
417
00:21:59,721 --> 00:22:01,694
But, now,
you can't have any of this.
418
00:22:02,409 --> 00:22:04,295
You should just give up forever!
419
00:22:12,779 --> 00:22:14,469
Cal, what do you think?
Is this too yellow?
420
00:22:14,539 --> 00:22:15,520
No.
421
00:22:15,851 --> 00:22:17,857
What's Curious George like
in real life?
422
00:22:17,931 --> 00:22:19,075
Come on, man.
423
00:22:28,428 --> 00:22:30,729
Wow, this is pretty crowded.
424
00:22:31,021 --> 00:22:33,769
Yeah. Well, it's $9 beer night.
425
00:22:34,893 --> 00:22:36,266
Okay, look now.
426
00:22:36,332 --> 00:22:38,469
So, this is what's about to happen,
all right?
427
00:22:38,541 --> 00:22:41,125
You about to go run down
some drunk chicks, all right?
428
00:22:41,196 --> 00:22:43,529
And don't confuse that with tipsy.
We talking about drunk.
429
00:22:43,597 --> 00:22:45,538
I want vomit in the hair,
bruised-up knees.
430
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,042
A broken heel is a plus.
431
00:22:47,118 --> 00:22:48,578
That's what you want to find, okay?
432
00:22:48,654 --> 00:22:51,336
No, Dave already told me
I didn't have to have sex tonight.
433
00:22:51,406 --> 00:22:52,387
And now he's gone, so...
434
00:22:52,462 --> 00:22:54,370
Dude, just stop thinking
for a minute, all right?
435
00:22:54,446 --> 00:22:56,005
You ain't got to think
on this one.
436
00:22:56,078 --> 00:22:57,932
All you got to do
is use your instinct.
437
00:22:57,998 --> 00:22:59,371
Show me your instincts.
438
00:22:59,438 --> 00:23:02,088
My head, my heart.
I follow my heart.
439
00:23:02,159 --> 00:23:04,678
Now, I'm gonna show you this
one time, all right?
440
00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:07,368
Instincts.
Show me your instincts.
441
00:23:07,952 --> 00:23:10,056
- Show me your instincts.
- They're right here.
442
00:23:10,384 --> 00:23:12,106
Own your instincts.
443
00:23:12,271 --> 00:23:15,052
All you doing is using your instinct.
That's it.
444
00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:17,802
That's how a tiger know
he got to tackle a gazelle.
445
00:23:17,873 --> 00:23:19,694
There's a code written in his DNA.
446
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,384
- It says, "Tackle the gazelle. "
- Okay.
447
00:23:21,457 --> 00:23:24,489
And believe it or not, in every man,
there's a code written that says:
448
00:23:24,561 --> 00:23:26,415
- "Tackle drunk bitches. "
- No.
449
00:23:26,481 --> 00:23:29,829
You know what,
I don't feel comfortable...
450
00:23:31,057 --> 00:23:33,227
hitting on drunk "bitches,"
you know.
451
00:23:33,297 --> 00:23:34,408
I don't think that's right.
452
00:23:34,482 --> 00:23:35,626
Okay, hold up.
453
00:23:35,698 --> 00:23:38,446
First of all, you making it out to be
some kind of bad thing.
454
00:23:38,514 --> 00:23:40,847
I didn't use bitches in a derogatory sense.
You did.
455
00:23:40,915 --> 00:23:42,539
It just does...
This doesn't feel right.
456
00:23:42,611 --> 00:23:45,359
Of course it don't feel right.
What has felt right for you didn't work.
457
00:23:45,427 --> 00:23:47,914
You need to try some wrong, dawg.
458
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,303
Okay, how do I tell
which ones are drunk?
459
00:23:52,371 --> 00:23:53,995
Now you're talking all right.
Check this out.
460
00:23:54,067 --> 00:23:55,757
- You see this redhead over here?
- Where?
461
00:23:55,827 --> 00:23:59,241
- With the big old titties.
- I'm not gonna stare at a woman.
462
00:23:59,316 --> 00:24:01,803
Dawg, I'm not telling you
to stare at nobody.
463
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:04,591
I'm telling you to use your peripherals.
Now look at me.
464
00:24:04,661 --> 00:24:06,067
- See. Look. See?
- Yeah.
465
00:24:06,485 --> 00:24:07,760
I'm not looking at you.
466
00:24:08,468 --> 00:24:10,922
- No. I'm looking at...
- You're looking at her?
467
00:24:12,757 --> 00:24:16,171
- What do you want me to do?
- I want you to use your peripherals.
468
00:24:16,534 --> 00:24:18,388
See? I'm not looking at you.
469
00:24:19,414 --> 00:24:23,472
No. See, I'm looking at the redhead
at 3:00 with the big titties.
470
00:24:23,669 --> 00:24:26,417
You see her, racked up right there,
see her?
471
00:24:26,806 --> 00:24:28,234
- Yes.
- Yeah.
472
00:24:28,502 --> 00:24:31,600
- You find one with the peripherals.
- Okay.
473
00:24:31,991 --> 00:24:34,990
You see, over by the post.
474
00:24:35,736 --> 00:24:36,912
It looks like a...
475
00:24:36,984 --> 00:24:38,641
It's either a ficus...
476
00:24:38,712 --> 00:24:40,369
It might be a rubber tree plant.
477
00:24:40,664 --> 00:24:43,412
All right, if you're making a joke,
dawg, it's not funny.
478
00:24:43,479 --> 00:24:45,966
I see a blonde and she's very pretty.
479
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,373
Better, okay. All right.
480
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,381
- Now with your peripherals...
- Yeah.
481
00:24:50,456 --> 00:24:52,822
...you got to scope out a hot,
drunk chick.
482
00:24:52,985 --> 00:24:54,260
And then you should make your move.
483
00:24:54,329 --> 00:24:56,084
- Okay? All right.
- Yes.
484
00:24:56,281 --> 00:24:58,963
And remember, it's more important
that she's drunk than she's hot.
485
00:24:59,066 --> 00:25:01,399
For this first one. Go get her.
Peripherals, though.
486
00:25:01,466 --> 00:25:02,577
All the way.
487
00:25:03,674 --> 00:25:04,883
All peripherals.
488
00:25:11,930 --> 00:25:13,173
That boy is stubborn.
489
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:19,094
Hi, I'm Andy.
You look comfortable.
490
00:25:19,323 --> 00:25:21,656
Can I get you another cocktail?
491
00:25:21,755 --> 00:25:22,834
Too drunk.
492
00:25:22,907 --> 00:25:26,201
- But you got the right idea.
- But clinically alive.
493
00:25:28,252 --> 00:25:29,199
- Hey!
- Yo!
494
00:25:29,276 --> 00:25:31,577
I'm having trouble
finding the drunk people.
495
00:25:31,644 --> 00:25:33,781
- You want to know where there's one?
- Yeah.
496
00:25:33,853 --> 00:25:37,529
I. I, Captain Yellowshirts.
497
00:25:38,653 --> 00:25:40,692
Okay. Have a good one.
498
00:25:40,765 --> 00:25:41,909
- Yo!
- What?
499
00:25:41,981 --> 00:25:45,013
I met a girl and she's here
with a bachelorette party...
500
00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:47,026
and they invited us to party with them.
501
00:25:47,294 --> 00:25:50,108
- Okay, that's good.
- It's so good...
502
00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:51,766
because no one is hornier
than a girl...
503
00:25:51,839 --> 00:25:54,358
who's about to watch her friend
get married to a guy.
504
00:25:54,429 --> 00:25:55,802
It's so funny.
505
00:25:59,775 --> 00:26:03,418
So we just decided because
this is my last night as a free woman...
506
00:26:03,487 --> 00:26:06,453
before I marry Dan,
that we would just wig out.
507
00:26:06,655 --> 00:26:08,279
We're wigging out!
508
00:26:09,248 --> 00:26:11,930
You guys are hilarious.
509
00:26:13,152 --> 00:26:14,361
Wait a minute.
510
00:26:14,432 --> 00:26:17,814
Yes, Mr. President.
Yes, the erection results are in.
511
00:26:19,008 --> 00:26:21,690
Hey, guys, look, it's Dr. Zeus' penis.
512
00:26:22,145 --> 00:26:23,867
I really mean this.
513
00:26:24,769 --> 00:26:27,102
Hey, everybody, who wants penis cake?
514
00:26:27,393 --> 00:26:28,406
I do.
515
00:26:28,514 --> 00:26:31,644
- She does.
- Hey, you guys, Betty Cocker.
516
00:26:33,697 --> 00:26:35,223
What a good guy. What a...
517
00:26:35,298 --> 00:26:37,206
Dan, the guy Robin's marrying...
518
00:26:37,282 --> 00:26:40,380
is such a good guy.
519
00:26:40,451 --> 00:26:41,977
He sounds like a good guy.
520
00:26:42,051 --> 00:26:44,952
I hated him for like two years
'cause he cheated on me.
521
00:26:45,219 --> 00:26:46,395
- Oh.
- But...
522
00:26:48,739 --> 00:26:50,876
he's really changed now.
523
00:26:52,003 --> 00:26:54,969
- He's a really good guy now.
- Your friends seem nice.
524
00:26:55,044 --> 00:26:57,432
You have really kind eyes,
you know that?
525
00:26:57,636 --> 00:27:00,766
Thanks. Your hat has sequins.
526
00:27:03,237 --> 00:27:04,184
Mmm.
527
00:27:07,716 --> 00:27:08,729
Mmm.
528
00:27:14,469 --> 00:27:16,606
- Your hands are on my belt.
- What?
529
00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:18,619
- Your hands are on my belt.
- I'm sorry.
530
00:27:18,694 --> 00:27:19,838
It's good.
531
00:27:20,742 --> 00:27:21,918
You're cute.
532
00:27:21,991 --> 00:27:24,095
This is kind of lame.
You wanna get out of here?
533
00:27:24,166 --> 00:27:25,594
Okay, yeah.
534
00:27:30,598 --> 00:27:31,938
- Yeah.
- Fuck.
535
00:27:32,487 --> 00:27:33,762
- Come on.
- Okay.
536
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,195
You wanna drive?
537
00:27:40,264 --> 00:27:42,684
I don't have a car with me here, so...
538
00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:44,548
Cars just suck.
539
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:47,551
I'm driving.
540
00:27:48,744 --> 00:27:49,725
Are you drunk?
541
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,293
No, I didn't have anything
to drink.
542
00:27:51,368 --> 00:27:53,472
- Blow into this?
- Okay.
543
00:27:58,345 --> 00:28:02,054
- What is this?
- The judge recommended I get one.
544
00:28:08,362 --> 00:28:11,710
- Whoa, okay. Wow.
- That's fast.
545
00:28:13,546 --> 00:28:15,966
- Okay.
- Come on, you're in the lasso.
546
00:28:18,859 --> 00:28:20,516
# Missy be puttin' it down #
547
00:28:20,587 --> 00:28:21,633
# I'm the hottest round #
548
00:28:21,707 --> 00:28:23,167
# I told y'all mother-uh #
549
00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:24,387
# Y'all can't stop me now #
550
00:28:24,459 --> 00:28:25,472
# Listen to me now #
551
00:28:25,548 --> 00:28:26,757
# I'm lastin' 20 rounds #
552
00:28:26,827 --> 00:28:28,255
# And if you want me, people #
553
00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:29,792
# Then come on get me now #
554
00:28:30,668 --> 00:28:34,562
And Dan's like,
"You're such a B-I-T-C-H, bitch!"
555
00:28:35,725 --> 00:28:38,441
And I'm like,
"You're the bitch, bitch. "
556
00:28:38,508 --> 00:28:40,165
- You know?
- Yeah.
557
00:28:40,237 --> 00:28:41,894
What was your name again?
558
00:28:42,157 --> 00:28:43,617
- Andy.
- Andy.
559
00:28:43,693 --> 00:28:48,231
Let me tell you something, Andy.
Don't ever be named Dan.
560
00:28:48,526 --> 00:28:51,176
Dan rhymes with man,
and men jerk off.
561
00:28:51,246 --> 00:28:52,652
And he was a jerk-off.
562
00:28:52,718 --> 00:28:55,302
- Do you know what I mean?
- Look out! The car!
563
00:28:55,598 --> 00:28:58,444
- Wow.
- I like you.
564
00:28:58,862 --> 00:29:00,290
You're not a...
565
00:29:02,543 --> 00:29:03,524
Ugh.
566
00:29:03,599 --> 00:29:06,500
I think I ate some bad shellfish sandwich
or something.
567
00:29:07,792 --> 00:29:09,733
- You're cute.
- No.
568
00:29:15,951 --> 00:29:18,819
- That tasted good.
- That tasted like shellfish.
569
00:29:20,081 --> 00:29:22,731
Look out! Sorry.
570
00:29:23,729 --> 00:29:24,775
Watch it!
571
00:29:27,089 --> 00:29:29,477
- Do you think I'm pretty?
- Oh, yes.
572
00:29:29,778 --> 00:29:31,184
Oh, God, yes!
573
00:29:32,562 --> 00:29:36,749
- You're not looking at me.
- Yes, you're pretty.
574
00:29:36,817 --> 00:29:39,369
Do you think I'm pretty?
Look at me.
575
00:29:39,442 --> 00:29:42,376
- Look at me!
- I'm looking! You're pretty!
576
00:29:42,451 --> 00:29:44,752
God, I just wanna live!
577
00:29:46,323 --> 00:29:48,777
God, I hope I get my period soon.
578
00:29:48,916 --> 00:29:52,264
- I am in a bad mood.
- Okay.
579
00:29:52,339 --> 00:29:55,055
I'm so tired.
580
00:29:55,763 --> 00:29:57,103
Hey, whoa!
581
00:29:58,196 --> 00:30:00,529
Oh, God! Turn away!
582
00:30:00,852 --> 00:30:02,923
Hey, get off the wheel.
583
00:30:04,565 --> 00:30:07,052
You're not gonna get in my pants
acting like that.
584
00:30:07,126 --> 00:30:08,619
I'm starving.
585
00:30:08,852 --> 00:30:11,272
Let's get some fucking French toast.
586
00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:16,748
- Okay, here we are.
- Oh, God, we made it.
587
00:30:16,822 --> 00:30:18,130
Home sweet home.
588
00:30:19,382 --> 00:30:20,974
Oh, mommy!
589
00:30:24,695 --> 00:30:28,338
- Are you okay?
- The fucker came out of nowhere.
590
00:30:29,686 --> 00:30:31,954
Okay. We're okay.
591
00:30:35,063 --> 00:30:36,338
Are you okay?
592
00:30:36,951 --> 00:30:39,022
Well, are you...
What's the matter?
593
00:30:44,471 --> 00:30:45,680
I'm sorry.
594
00:30:46,232 --> 00:30:49,547
That's okay.
I think I kind of had that coming.
595
00:30:50,296 --> 00:30:52,367
I'll still have sex with you
if you want.
596
00:30:52,441 --> 00:30:55,342
You know what, I think I'm gonna
pass on the sex, if you don't mind.
597
00:30:55,417 --> 00:30:57,805
At least I don't have
to work out tomorrow.
598
00:30:58,521 --> 00:31:00,342
- Did you have a daiquiri tonight?
- Yeah.
599
00:31:00,410 --> 00:31:01,423
I thought you might.
600
00:31:01,978 --> 00:31:03,286
It was a very bad night.
601
00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:06,159
Yeah, laugh.
602
00:31:06,234 --> 00:31:08,469
You know what, you guys wouldn't be
laughing right now...
603
00:31:08,538 --> 00:31:11,886
if some girl had just vomited
shellfish sandwich into your mouth.
604
00:31:13,051 --> 00:31:14,838
You know what, you're right,
it's my bad.
605
00:31:14,907 --> 00:31:16,815
Let me apologize to you
first of all...
606
00:31:16,891 --> 00:31:20,567
for not mentioning in detail
that when you pick up a drunk woman...
607
00:31:20,635 --> 00:31:23,187
who's falling down
on her way out of the bar...
608
00:31:23,259 --> 00:31:25,975
- ... that you should probably drive.
- I drive a bike.
609
00:31:26,044 --> 00:31:29,458
Okay, Mr. Schwinn-fucking-Armstrong,
who asked you to drive a bike?
610
00:31:29,532 --> 00:31:31,603
You know what, I'm not the only person
in the worid...
611
00:31:31,676 --> 00:31:32,787
who rides a bike.
612
00:31:32,861 --> 00:31:35,445
Yeah, everyone rides a bike,
when they're fucking six.
613
00:31:35,517 --> 00:31:37,556
Why don't you kiss something?
614
00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:40,628
Because this is over,
you guys, okay?
615
00:31:40,701 --> 00:31:42,293
Can I just interject for a second?
616
00:31:42,365 --> 00:31:43,705
Let me just say...
617
00:31:43,805 --> 00:31:46,073
you're putting the pussy up
on this pedestal.
618
00:31:46,141 --> 00:31:47,601
You're just building
the pussy up, man.
619
00:31:47,678 --> 00:31:49,018
What are you even talking about?
620
00:31:49,086 --> 00:31:50,972
"Building the pussy up,"
what does that mean?
621
00:31:51,038 --> 00:31:55,544
You making the pussy into this
great big Greek goddess named Pussalia...
622
00:31:55,615 --> 00:31:56,759
and what you're doing is...
623
00:31:56,829 --> 00:31:59,992
you're psyching yourself into thinking
it's some impossible feat.
624
00:32:00,063 --> 00:32:01,371
Yeah, I think you're right.
625
00:32:01,438 --> 00:32:03,324
I'm putting the pussy up
on a pedestal.
626
00:32:03,391 --> 00:32:04,731
- Right.
- That's it.
627
00:32:04,927 --> 00:32:06,649
It's "Pussalia," right?
628
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,086
- Look where you going.
- I don't wanna say the word anymore.
629
00:32:09,152 --> 00:32:11,322
- Say what word?
- "Pussy. " I don't wanna say it.
630
00:32:11,392 --> 00:32:13,562
Fuck it.
"Pussy" is a scientific word.
631
00:32:13,664 --> 00:32:15,670
Dude! New pants, man.
632
00:32:16,191 --> 00:32:17,138
You know what, Dave?
633
00:32:17,216 --> 00:32:19,670
You know, you said there wasn't gonna be
any pressure at all.
634
00:32:19,744 --> 00:32:21,303
- I'm not pressuring you.
- Excuse me.
635
00:32:21,377 --> 00:32:22,936
Can one of you guys help me, please?
636
00:32:23,008 --> 00:32:24,501
No hablo English, lady.
637
00:32:25,857 --> 00:32:28,060
I actually am helping
a customer right now.
638
00:32:28,129 --> 00:32:30,397
- Okay, well...
- I'm on break.
639
00:32:30,466 --> 00:32:32,920
But our stock supervisor
is very knowledgeable.
640
00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,381
He can answer all of your questions
and he'd love to help you.
641
00:32:35,457 --> 00:32:36,470
Thank you.
642
00:32:36,546 --> 00:32:38,039
- Have a nice day.
- You, too.
643
00:32:38,914 --> 00:32:43,004
- Great, okay. Hi, I'm Trish.
- Hi, Andy is my name.
644
00:32:43,586 --> 00:32:46,552
- This one looks pretty good.
- You don't wanna buy that VCR.
645
00:32:46,627 --> 00:32:47,574
I don't?
646
00:32:47,651 --> 00:32:49,373
No, actually to be
totally honest with you...
647
00:32:49,443 --> 00:32:50,718
you don't wanna buy any VCR.
648
00:32:50,787 --> 00:32:52,411
It's a dead technology.
649
00:32:52,483 --> 00:32:56,443
It's like getting
an eight-track player.
650
00:32:56,515 --> 00:32:58,816
- Yeah.
- Or a Betamax.
651
00:32:58,883 --> 00:33:00,856
You know what, actually
I'd recommend this one.
652
00:33:00,932 --> 00:33:02,011
This is a dual.
653
00:33:02,084 --> 00:33:05,018
You've got the VCR and DVD combo.
654
00:33:05,093 --> 00:33:08,475
So, you know, that technology would be
probably pretty good for...
655
00:33:08,741 --> 00:33:09,820
- Six months or so?
- Yeah.
656
00:33:09,893 --> 00:33:11,136
That's good.
657
00:33:11,268 --> 00:33:13,122
At best. Sorry.
658
00:33:13,253 --> 00:33:15,521
- No.
- As good as it gets.
659
00:33:15,654 --> 00:33:16,798
Okay, that sounds good, then.
660
00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:17,916
Okay, all right.
661
00:33:19,045 --> 00:33:20,058
- It's perfect.
- Sorry.
662
00:33:20,134 --> 00:33:21,343
Coming through.
663
00:33:21,671 --> 00:33:22,717
Okay.
664
00:33:22,790 --> 00:33:25,407
God, you know, it's so funny,
I work right across the street...
665
00:33:25,478 --> 00:33:26,851
and I've never been in this place.
666
00:33:26,919 --> 00:33:28,292
- Really? Where at?
- Yeah.
667
00:33:28,358 --> 00:33:30,877
The "We Sell Your Stuff On eBay"
store.
668
00:33:31,655 --> 00:33:33,279
- Yes.
- And that's the name?
669
00:33:33,511 --> 00:33:35,779
Yeah, I was looking for something...
670
00:33:35,943 --> 00:33:38,691
...you know, obvious.
So I chose that.
671
00:33:38,759 --> 00:33:40,863
I don't understand.
So, what, you do what?
672
00:33:41,224 --> 00:33:43,110
Well, I take the stuff
that you don't want...
673
00:33:43,176 --> 00:33:45,182
and then I "sell" it on eBay.
674
00:33:45,256 --> 00:33:47,644
But you don't actually
sell anything in the store?
675
00:33:48,584 --> 00:33:50,077
No. I don't.
676
00:33:50,792 --> 00:33:52,798
So why do you have a store?
677
00:33:52,873 --> 00:33:54,116
I don't know.
678
00:33:54,185 --> 00:33:57,315
No, I think it's because, you know,
I wanna maybe look professional...
679
00:33:57,386 --> 00:34:00,232
and not like a crazy person
who's just gonna steal all your shit.
680
00:34:00,298 --> 00:34:02,566
Sure. I didn't mean anything by that.
681
00:34:02,634 --> 00:34:04,040
No, it's okay.
682
00:34:04,201 --> 00:34:07,746
You know what, you should come by sometime
if you want, you know...
683
00:34:07,817 --> 00:34:09,539
see it for yourself, check it out.
684
00:34:09,610 --> 00:34:11,103
I'll check out your empty store.
685
00:34:11,178 --> 00:34:14,276
Yeah, it's the one across the street
that's not empty.
686
00:34:15,563 --> 00:34:16,991
Here's my number. So...
687
00:34:17,515 --> 00:34:19,881
- All right.
- So, just anytime.
688
00:34:20,524 --> 00:34:23,272
Why do I need your number
if you're across the street, though?
689
00:34:24,491 --> 00:34:27,359
I don't really have a good answer
for that, Andy. I just...
690
00:34:27,436 --> 00:34:29,322
- Sorry.
- Just giving it to you.
691
00:34:29,548 --> 00:34:32,514
So I'll write you up,
and I'll meet you over at the register.
692
00:34:32,588 --> 00:34:34,180
- Okay.
- And check you out... Check out.
693
00:34:34,252 --> 00:34:35,527
- Okay, see you over there.
- Okay.
694
00:34:35,597 --> 00:34:36,544
Okay.
695
00:34:36,941 --> 00:34:38,914
- Awful chatty.
- Hey...
696
00:34:39,309 --> 00:34:41,380
Look, I think she gave me
her number.
697
00:34:41,453 --> 00:34:43,873
She wrote down her number,
but I think she gave me her number.
698
00:34:43,949 --> 00:34:45,257
- No, she gave you.
- Dude, man.
699
00:34:45,325 --> 00:34:46,851
See, you still mad at me?
700
00:34:46,925 --> 00:34:48,712
- No, I was never.
- Right, you see what I mean?
701
00:34:48,782 --> 00:34:50,603
Yeah, we gonna celebrate it, man.
Yeah.
702
00:34:50,670 --> 00:34:52,043
- This is pretty cool.
- Yeah.
703
00:34:52,110 --> 00:34:53,964
- Unbelievable.
- Come on, give him some credit, man.
704
00:34:54,031 --> 00:34:55,175
The man pulled a number.
705
00:34:55,247 --> 00:34:57,701
It's just... I was in...
I can't believe that happened.
706
00:34:57,774 --> 00:34:59,180
What you did with you's own hand.
707
00:34:59,246 --> 00:35:01,317
Man, she just gave me her number.
708
00:35:01,486 --> 00:35:05,925
That's great, man. I'm telling you,
love is a mysterious fig.
709
00:35:05,999 --> 00:35:06,980
It is.
710
00:35:07,055 --> 00:35:09,705
Okay, here's a question.
When should I call her?
711
00:35:10,288 --> 00:35:11,497
- You like her?
- Yeah.
712
00:35:11,568 --> 00:35:12,974
You definitely don't want to call her.
713
00:35:13,041 --> 00:35:14,600
When is the next Olympics?
714
00:35:14,672 --> 00:35:15,980
So what you just got to do is...
715
00:35:16,048 --> 00:35:17,705
just get you a bunch
of these hood rats...
716
00:35:17,776 --> 00:35:19,149
run through them,
just knock them out.
717
00:35:19,216 --> 00:35:20,229
Boom, boom, boom.
718
00:35:20,304 --> 00:35:22,758
And once you've done slayed like 20,
30 of them hood rats...
719
00:35:22,833 --> 00:35:25,450
now you ready to go up
to the upper echelon type ho.
720
00:35:25,521 --> 00:35:27,560
- You know what I mean?
- I'm not a big ho runner.
721
00:35:27,633 --> 00:35:29,355
My uncle used to drive a ho runner.
722
00:35:29,425 --> 00:35:31,212
Screw these analogies.
What he's saying is...
723
00:35:31,282 --> 00:35:33,223
you are going to be so bad
at sex the first time...
724
00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:35,152
you don't want to have sex
with someone you like...
725
00:35:35,218 --> 00:35:37,551
'cause they'll think you're a weirdo
for being so lame at it.
726
00:35:37,618 --> 00:35:39,591
You want to have sex
with hood rats first...
727
00:35:39,666 --> 00:35:41,639
so that by the time
you get to the girl you do like...
728
00:35:41,714 --> 00:35:45,029
you're not terrible at sex,
you'll be mediocre at it.
729
00:35:45,363 --> 00:35:46,769
Probably still pretty bad, though.
730
00:35:46,835 --> 00:35:48,972
Let's put it up for my man
for pulling that number.
731
00:35:49,043 --> 00:35:51,311
- Way to go, man.
- Politicked his ass off.
732
00:35:51,380 --> 00:35:53,583
- You did politic.
- Thanks a lot.
733
00:35:53,683 --> 00:35:55,624
Like a train, round the bend.
You ready?
734
00:36:28,438 --> 00:36:29,385
Yeah.
735
00:36:30,486 --> 00:36:31,630
- I can't.
- Do it.
736
00:36:31,703 --> 00:36:33,262
- I can't pee in public.
- Gotta do it.
737
00:36:33,334 --> 00:36:34,860
I've got a mental block about it.
738
00:36:34,935 --> 00:36:38,000
- Come on, do it.
- I'm shy!
739
00:36:42,072 --> 00:36:44,591
I peed in public!
740
00:36:44,888 --> 00:36:47,123
- Let me out.
- I can't hear what you're saying.
741
00:36:47,191 --> 00:36:49,645
- I don't want to be in here.
- It's a soundproof room.
742
00:36:50,328 --> 00:36:52,399
- Just learn the techniques.
- Right on, man.
743
00:36:53,849 --> 00:36:55,636
You guys, this is not funny!
744
00:37:25,628 --> 00:37:26,575
Hello.
745
00:37:32,957 --> 00:37:34,265
Hey, what you watching?
746
00:37:34,332 --> 00:37:36,371
- Dawn of the Dead, man.
- Great.
747
00:37:36,509 --> 00:37:38,515
The store is slow.
Paula's gone.
748
00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:40,890
- Yo, is Paula back?
- No. She's not here.
749
00:37:41,341 --> 00:37:43,227
- She said we can't watch this in here.
- You sure?
750
00:37:43,293 --> 00:37:45,561
I know.
Can I ask you something in confidence?
751
00:37:45,629 --> 00:37:47,602
I know this is gonna sound weird.
752
00:37:48,285 --> 00:37:49,713
Am I good-looking?
753
00:37:49,789 --> 00:37:51,446
Do you think a woman
will find me attractive?
754
00:37:51,518 --> 00:37:53,142
Oh, my God!
755
00:37:53,886 --> 00:37:56,373
- Oh, my God, the blood just...
- Okay, never mind.
756
00:37:56,447 --> 00:37:58,202
Wait, Andy. Hold up.
757
00:37:58,271 --> 00:38:01,139
Listen, this is embarrassing for me.
This is hard to talk about.
758
00:38:01,214 --> 00:38:03,580
- Are you ready for my honest answer?
- Yes.
759
00:38:03,967 --> 00:38:06,235
Yeah.
I think you're a good-looking cat.
760
00:38:06,975 --> 00:38:08,468
I don't think that anybody knows it...
761
00:38:08,543 --> 00:38:10,069
and I don't think anybody can see it.
762
00:38:10,144 --> 00:38:11,255
Well, that's why I'm asking you.
763
00:38:11,328 --> 00:38:13,748
You seem really well-groomed
and really put together.
764
00:38:13,824 --> 00:38:16,408
I mean, look, dude.
You think this was an accident?
765
00:38:16,736 --> 00:38:19,156
All of this right here?
Premeditated, partner.
766
00:38:19,232 --> 00:38:22,493
You gotta highlight your attributes,
like a diamond in the rough.
767
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,217
You willing to make some sacrifices?
768
00:38:24,289 --> 00:38:25,302
Absolutely.
769
00:38:25,377 --> 00:38:28,059
You see that whole Teen Wolf thing
you got going right there?
770
00:38:28,129 --> 00:38:29,916
You need to wax that right out.
771
00:38:29,985 --> 00:38:31,772
- Does it hurt?
- No. Waxing don't hurt.
772
00:38:31,842 --> 00:38:33,750
I mean, not unless you're a bitch.
You know what I mean?
773
00:38:33,826 --> 00:38:35,254
It didn't hurt me.
I get it done all the time.
774
00:38:35,329 --> 00:38:36,953
What the fuck!
775
00:38:40,322 --> 00:38:42,143
Fuck that nigger up!
776
00:38:43,043 --> 00:38:45,409
Bitch, get out of the room!
777
00:38:48,227 --> 00:38:50,168
This is gonna be good.
778
00:38:50,243 --> 00:38:52,380
- This the one right here, right?
- Hi, how are you?
779
00:38:52,451 --> 00:38:54,392
So this is your first time
getting body waxed?
780
00:38:54,467 --> 00:38:55,480
Yes, it is.
781
00:38:55,555 --> 00:38:57,561
- Take off your shirt.
- Okay.
782
00:39:00,804 --> 00:39:02,625
We're gonna need more wax.
783
00:39:02,692 --> 00:39:04,927
I'm staying.
This is gonna be good.
784
00:39:05,540 --> 00:39:08,222
And clear all my appointments
in the afternoon.
785
00:39:08,453 --> 00:39:09,728
Here we go.
786
00:39:10,053 --> 00:39:11,328
That feels warm.
787
00:39:14,341 --> 00:39:17,307
I like your sweater.
Does that come in a V-neck?
788
00:39:18,629 --> 00:39:21,017
She starts doing his pubes,
I'm out of here.
789
00:39:22,918 --> 00:39:24,444
You gonna look good after this, man.
790
00:39:24,519 --> 00:39:25,695
Thanks, man.
791
00:39:26,054 --> 00:39:27,362
- So, ready?
- Yeah.
792
00:39:33,223 --> 00:39:35,010
You fucker!
793
00:39:36,103 --> 00:39:38,590
I'm sorry.
That's just your job.
794
00:39:38,664 --> 00:39:41,979
- You want me to stop now?
- No. It's okay.
795
00:39:43,432 --> 00:39:44,608
Let's do another one.
796
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,272
That one little patch
looks sexy though.
797
00:39:46,345 --> 00:39:48,286
- Does it look good?
- Yeah, it looks really good.
798
00:39:49,448 --> 00:39:51,716
It looks man-tastic.
799
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:53,951
Okay.
800
00:39:55,529 --> 00:39:59,008
Wow! I didn't expect that at all.
I really didn't expect that.
801
00:39:59,561 --> 00:40:01,862
You got it. The first one
is the only one that hurts.
802
00:40:01,929 --> 00:40:04,295
Yeah.
Those hairs are pretty deep.
803
00:40:04,362 --> 00:40:05,408
Okay.
804
00:40:05,706 --> 00:40:07,265
- You ready?
- Yup.
805
00:40:10,922 --> 00:40:12,612
Sucker motherfucker!
806
00:40:13,035 --> 00:40:15,238
You shithead! I hate you!
807
00:40:15,307 --> 00:40:17,029
I hate you so much!
808
00:40:18,123 --> 00:40:19,299
That one hurt.
809
00:40:19,371 --> 00:40:21,639
That one hurt
just as much as the first one.
810
00:40:21,708 --> 00:40:23,616
- That's great, man.
- Man!
811
00:40:25,451 --> 00:40:27,621
One, two, three.
812
00:40:28,748 --> 00:40:32,577
Fuck me!
813
00:40:33,004 --> 00:40:36,352
In the asshole!
814
00:40:38,477 --> 00:40:39,556
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
815
00:40:39,629 --> 00:40:41,155
I really don't swear this much.
816
00:40:41,230 --> 00:40:42,603
You know what,
I got a weak stomach.
817
00:40:42,668 --> 00:40:44,390
That's all I can really take.
I'll see ya'll.
818
00:40:44,461 --> 00:40:46,729
- Jay.
- Be tough, Andy, you got it.
819
00:40:46,797 --> 00:40:48,803
- Where did Jay go?
- He went to throw up.
820
00:40:48,877 --> 00:40:50,086
- Ready?
- Yup.
821
00:40:50,766 --> 00:40:51,779
One, two.
822
00:40:52,942 --> 00:40:55,112
Cocksucker motherfucker!
823
00:40:55,246 --> 00:40:56,838
You pulled on two.
824
00:40:58,063 --> 00:40:59,655
Why didn't you pull on three?
825
00:40:59,727 --> 00:41:01,002
Freddy pie hole!
826
00:41:02,670 --> 00:41:04,491
No! Kelly Clarkson!
827
00:41:09,487 --> 00:41:11,177
Ya'll done or ya'll...
828
00:41:11,248 --> 00:41:12,708
- That's fucked up.
- Oh, shit falls!
829
00:41:12,784 --> 00:41:13,863
That's fucked up.
830
00:41:16,753 --> 00:41:18,607
I hate you.
831
00:41:18,672 --> 00:41:20,940
Stop smiling, you jerk!
832
00:41:21,008 --> 00:41:22,152
You pussy.
833
00:41:22,224 --> 00:41:24,230
Oh, God. What's next?
834
00:41:24,593 --> 00:41:26,730
- You're doing the nipple.
- Not the nipple.
835
00:41:26,801 --> 00:41:28,458
- Come on.
- Not the nipple.
836
00:41:28,530 --> 00:41:30,154
Please, Cal, hold my hand.
837
00:41:30,546 --> 00:41:33,228
- You kidding me, man?
- Hold my goddamn hand, man.
838
00:41:33,778 --> 00:41:35,948
- Do it! Just hold.
- Okay, here we go.
839
00:41:37,170 --> 00:41:38,151
Ready?
840
00:41:38,801 --> 00:41:40,044
No. Yup.
841
00:41:40,114 --> 00:41:41,968
One, two, three.
842
00:41:42,514 --> 00:41:44,815
Nipple fuck!
843
00:41:46,130 --> 00:41:48,496
Mika, you should burn in hell!
844
00:41:48,948 --> 00:41:51,500
Okay, all right.
No, seriously, I think I'm done.
845
00:41:51,572 --> 00:41:53,840
I think we're done.
I think that's good.
846
00:41:55,891 --> 00:41:57,166
You know what, guys...
847
00:41:57,236 --> 00:41:59,656
this is not a good look for me!
848
00:42:00,052 --> 00:42:01,807
You look like a man-o'- lantern.
849
00:42:01,876 --> 00:42:03,762
Thank you very much.
Appreciate it. Thank you.
850
00:42:22,518 --> 00:42:24,175
- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
851
00:42:24,246 --> 00:42:25,772
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
852
00:42:26,231 --> 00:42:28,204
Andy, I owe you an apology, man.
853
00:42:28,279 --> 00:42:31,573
I wasn't very nice to you
for the past two-and-a-half years.
854
00:42:31,639 --> 00:42:32,718
You were nice to me.
855
00:42:32,791 --> 00:42:35,343
No, I was... I thought
you were really boring and...
856
00:42:35,415 --> 00:42:37,618
I kind of thought
you were a serial killer.
857
00:42:38,872 --> 00:42:40,212
I'm not joking.
858
00:42:40,695 --> 00:42:43,443
- Hey!
- Sorry. Shoot. Sorry, sorry.
859
00:42:43,512 --> 00:42:45,747
Don't worry. There's a lot of
padding in these.
860
00:42:45,816 --> 00:42:48,084
I could hurl it off the balcony,
it would be fine.
861
00:42:48,153 --> 00:42:49,810
- Yeah. It will be fine.
- We couldn't break this...
862
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:50,893
- ... if we tried.
- No problem.
863
00:42:50,968 --> 00:42:52,974
Look, you shouldn't listen
to Dave and Jay, okay?
864
00:42:53,048 --> 00:42:56,014
Those guys are crazy.
You should listen to me, okay?
865
00:42:56,089 --> 00:42:58,935
Look, there is a hot-ass girl
who works right there.
866
00:42:59,001 --> 00:43:02,196
There she is, in the bookstore.
You should ask her out, man.
867
00:43:04,089 --> 00:43:05,844
Something wrong with her underpants.
868
00:43:05,946 --> 00:43:07,352
Yeah, they're not in my mouth.
869
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:09,304
You know, I kind of...
870
00:43:10,490 --> 00:43:12,594
like the woman from the eBay store.
871
00:43:12,762 --> 00:43:13,743
That's great, but...
872
00:43:13,818 --> 00:43:15,061
you're not gonna get with anyone...
873
00:43:15,131 --> 00:43:16,690
unless you play the odds on this, man.
874
00:43:16,763 --> 00:43:18,584
You need to plant a lot of seeds.
875
00:43:18,651 --> 00:43:21,999
It's like this.
When I was growing pot, I realized...
876
00:43:22,524 --> 00:43:25,490
- ... that the more seeds I planted...
- Thank you.
877
00:43:25,595 --> 00:43:27,798
...the more pot
I could ultimately smoke.
878
00:43:27,867 --> 00:43:30,965
I think I have all the advice
that I can handle right now.
879
00:43:31,036 --> 00:43:32,082
Don't get bitter.
880
00:43:32,156 --> 00:43:34,904
I'm not bitter.
I almost lost a nipple, okay?
881
00:43:34,972 --> 00:43:36,694
That was Jay's idea, okay?
882
00:43:36,765 --> 00:43:39,252
And I wasn't going to say anything,
but waxing your chest is...
883
00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:41,713
like the gayest thing
you could possibly do, okay?
884
00:43:41,789 --> 00:43:45,366
Look at me. Looks are not important.
Really look at me.
885
00:43:45,469 --> 00:43:48,283
I am ugly as fuck
by traditional standards...
886
00:43:48,350 --> 00:43:50,683
but I get with women.
887
00:43:50,750 --> 00:43:52,789
Aren't you curious
as to how that's possible?
888
00:43:52,862 --> 00:43:54,999
I am not ugly as fuck.
889
00:43:55,071 --> 00:43:56,826
I didn't say you were ugly as...
890
00:43:56,894 --> 00:43:58,300
- Well, you implied it.
- Okay.
891
00:43:58,366 --> 00:44:00,853
It doesn't matter if you're ugly as fuck
or you're ugly as shit.
892
00:44:00,926 --> 00:44:03,892
It's about talking to women,
and I know how to do that...
893
00:44:03,967 --> 00:44:07,195
because I observe,
because I am a novelist.
894
00:44:07,839 --> 00:44:09,660
What? You never told me that before.
895
00:44:09,728 --> 00:44:12,410
That's because I am not
an arrogant prick, Andy.
896
00:44:12,511 --> 00:44:14,812
Okay? The problem most men have is...
897
00:44:15,136 --> 00:44:16,564
they don't know how to talk to women.
898
00:44:16,641 --> 00:44:20,186
You know what my problem is?
I am not interesting.
899
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,807
What am I supposed to say?
"I went to magic camp?"
900
00:44:23,169 --> 00:44:24,891
"I'm an accomplished ventriloquist?"
901
00:44:24,961 --> 00:44:27,960
"I am a seventh-degree
imperial yo-yo master. "
902
00:44:29,057 --> 00:44:30,998
Do me, yo-yo master.
903
00:44:31,073 --> 00:44:34,716
I want you to do me,
'cause you're the yo-yo guy.
904
00:44:35,042 --> 00:44:36,218
Are you done? Listen.
905
00:44:36,290 --> 00:44:38,144
The problem most men have is...
906
00:44:38,210 --> 00:44:41,525
they just plain straight up
have no clue how to talk to women.
907
00:44:41,922 --> 00:44:44,703
Just ask a question, okay?
That's it.
908
00:44:44,835 --> 00:44:47,900
Because women do not care
about what you have to say...
909
00:44:47,971 --> 00:44:49,377
at all anyway, you know.
910
00:44:49,444 --> 00:44:51,385
And all they want to do
is talk about themselves.
911
00:44:51,460 --> 00:44:53,117
So you're just gonna
let them do that.
912
00:44:53,187 --> 00:44:54,746
Okay? So remember.
913
00:44:54,820 --> 00:44:57,918
Questions, be cool,
and be kind of a dick.
914
00:44:57,987 --> 00:45:00,986
Here, be David Caruso in Jade.
915
00:45:01,475 --> 00:45:03,546
Okay. I know exactly
what you're talking about.
916
00:45:03,620 --> 00:45:05,048
You do. That's good.
917
00:45:06,788 --> 00:45:08,128
There she is.
918
00:45:10,853 --> 00:45:12,510
Go plant that seed, man.
919
00:45:13,094 --> 00:45:14,784
Plant it with your finger.
920
00:45:26,502 --> 00:45:27,875
Can I help you?
921
00:45:29,831 --> 00:45:31,390
I don't know. Can you?
922
00:45:32,999 --> 00:45:34,885
Are you looking for something?
923
00:45:36,199 --> 00:45:38,718
Is there something
I should be looking for?
924
00:45:42,824 --> 00:45:44,317
We have a lot of books.
925
00:45:44,744 --> 00:45:47,710
So, maybe it depends
on what you like.
926
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:53,926
What do you like?
927
00:45:54,184 --> 00:45:57,532
We have a great section of...
928
00:45:58,025 --> 00:45:59,431
do-it-yourself.
929
00:45:59,497 --> 00:46:01,765
Do you like to "do it yourself"?
930
00:46:02,665 --> 00:46:04,736
Sometimes. I mean...
931
00:46:05,290 --> 00:46:08,704
if the mood strikes.
932
00:46:09,930 --> 00:46:12,001
How is the mood striking you now?
933
00:46:18,667 --> 00:46:20,073
What's your name?
934
00:46:20,779 --> 00:46:21,923
What's your name?
935
00:46:21,995 --> 00:46:23,968
I'm Beth.
936
00:46:26,571 --> 00:46:27,650
Andy.
937
00:46:28,876 --> 00:46:29,955
Andy.
938
00:46:32,524 --> 00:46:35,011
- Don't tell on me, okay, Andy?
- I wont.
939
00:46:36,653 --> 00:46:38,888
Unless you want to be told on...
940
00:46:39,725 --> 00:46:40,672
Beth.
941
00:46:43,374 --> 00:46:44,900
Wow. That totally worked!
942
00:46:44,973 --> 00:46:47,012
I literally said nothing.
And she found me fascinating.
943
00:46:47,085 --> 00:46:48,840
I would've thought
you were doing that for years.
944
00:46:48,909 --> 00:46:50,566
- Should I have asked her out?
- No. That's the key.
945
00:46:50,637 --> 00:46:52,010
You wait for it to grow into a plant...
946
00:46:52,078 --> 00:46:53,506
and then you fuck the plant.
947
00:46:57,423 --> 00:46:58,436
Okay.
948
00:46:59,279 --> 00:47:00,455
This is easy.
949
00:47:01,263 --> 00:47:02,538
All right.
950
00:47:03,022 --> 00:47:05,541
Hello, Trish. How you doing?
What's going on?
951
00:47:07,119 --> 00:47:08,230
Good joke.
952
00:47:08,304 --> 00:47:09,994
This is a fun conversation.
953
00:47:10,064 --> 00:47:12,332
Just grow a backbone
and call her.
954
00:47:12,464 --> 00:47:14,951
She asked you to call her.
She wants you to call her.
955
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:22,766
Hello.
956
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:24,588
Hey, how you doing?
957
00:47:26,448 --> 00:47:28,170
- How you doing?
- I'm well.
958
00:47:28,561 --> 00:47:29,934
Who is this?
959
00:47:30,609 --> 00:47:33,510
- This is James.
- James. Do I know you, James?
960
00:47:35,026 --> 00:47:36,967
I was wondering whether
you had a few minutes...
961
00:47:37,042 --> 00:47:38,863
to talk about
a little laundry detergent.
962
00:47:38,929 --> 00:47:40,968
Are you a telemarketer, James?
963
00:47:41,201 --> 00:47:42,182
Yep.
964
00:47:42,258 --> 00:47:43,533
Are you at the top
of a tall building?
965
00:47:43,602 --> 00:47:45,935
Can you get to a roof quickly?
Jump off!
966
00:47:46,002 --> 00:47:47,113
I mean, you people are sick.
967
00:47:47,187 --> 00:47:48,909
Get a real fucking job,
why don't you?
968
00:47:48,979 --> 00:47:50,472
Go shoot yourself
in the fucking head.
969
00:47:50,548 --> 00:47:53,264
Hey, why don't you just, you know,
get a knife and run into it?
970
00:47:53,331 --> 00:47:54,671
Why don't you do that, huh?
971
00:47:54,740 --> 00:47:55,983
- Okay.
- I'll see you later, James.
972
00:47:56,052 --> 00:47:59,247
- Nice to talk to you.
- Fuck your mother, okay? Bye-bye.
973
00:48:00,915 --> 00:48:01,862
Oh.
974
00:48:04,949 --> 00:48:07,217
Hey, man.
Got a big box of porn for you.
975
00:48:08,917 --> 00:48:11,152
- Can I come in?
- Yeah.
976
00:48:13,013 --> 00:48:14,834
Sweet video game chair.
977
00:48:18,613 --> 00:48:19,822
So what's in the box?
978
00:48:19,894 --> 00:48:22,162
It's my personal collection
of erotica.
979
00:48:22,550 --> 00:48:23,629
I want to give it to you.
980
00:48:23,702 --> 00:48:26,516
I think there might be a few tapes
in there that just might open up...
981
00:48:26,582 --> 00:48:28,042
Pandora's box of love.
982
00:48:28,119 --> 00:48:29,100
Okay.
983
00:48:29,175 --> 00:48:31,857
Amy and I, we used to watch
Harry Twatter...
984
00:48:31,959 --> 00:48:33,387
and we'd put it on the television...
985
00:48:33,462 --> 00:48:35,316
and then act it out
as it was going on...
986
00:48:35,382 --> 00:48:36,941
and it was...
987
00:48:38,904 --> 00:48:40,364
She's adorable.
988
00:48:41,272 --> 00:48:42,645
Fucking bitch.
989
00:48:42,712 --> 00:48:44,653
Well, you know,
this is really gracious and kind...
990
00:48:44,728 --> 00:48:45,839
and generous and everything.
991
00:48:45,912 --> 00:48:48,529
But I just don't want
a big box of porn in my apartment.
992
00:48:48,601 --> 00:48:50,934
There's some really
great stuff in here.
993
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,268
Really great movies in here,
man.
994
00:48:53,528 --> 00:48:54,988
Hey, did you ever see
School of Rock?
995
00:48:55,065 --> 00:48:56,471
- Yeah.
- Well, this is...
996
00:48:56,537 --> 00:48:58,096
It's called School of...
997
00:48:58,425 --> 00:48:59,504
You know...
998
00:48:59,801 --> 00:49:03,029
- That's nice.
- But it stars Jack Black Cock.
999
00:49:03,866 --> 00:49:05,010
That makes sense.
1000
00:49:05,081 --> 00:49:06,836
Dude, here it is.
1001
00:49:06,906 --> 00:49:09,360
Boner Jams '03.
It's a mixed tape I made.
1002
00:49:09,433 --> 00:49:13,360
All these great scenes that I was
really into in the summer of 2003.
1003
00:49:13,658 --> 00:49:16,308
- I think you'd really dig it.
- Yeah. Now I can see that.
1004
00:49:16,379 --> 00:49:17,839
This is...
1005
00:49:18,107 --> 00:49:19,480
Everybody Loves Raymond.
1006
00:49:19,547 --> 00:49:20,920
That's probably not supposed to be...
1007
00:49:20,987 --> 00:49:22,709
This is a good show.
I just tape it sometimes.
1008
00:49:22,779 --> 00:49:24,752
Well, I don't think
you understand something, Dave.
1009
00:49:24,828 --> 00:49:29,104
I don't want this stuff, okay?
Because I don't do that, that much.
1010
00:49:29,180 --> 00:49:31,066
- What, masturbate?
- Yeah.
1011
00:49:32,123 --> 00:49:34,391
Dude, I've jacked it twice
since I've been here.
1012
00:49:34,460 --> 00:49:37,426
- Are you kidding me? Why not?
- It's not a hobby of mine.
1013
00:49:37,501 --> 00:49:39,736
Well, then, that's the only hobby
you don't have.
1014
00:49:39,805 --> 00:49:42,106
No, seriously, I just don't feel
comfortable talking about...
1015
00:49:42,173 --> 00:49:43,219
You need to.
You're wound up.
1016
00:49:43,293 --> 00:49:44,819
You're like one of these
action figures...
1017
00:49:44,894 --> 00:49:46,551
all hermetically sealed in your box.
1018
00:49:46,620 --> 00:49:48,888
- You gotta play with...
- Don't!
1019
00:49:48,957 --> 00:49:50,003
Don't take it out!
1020
00:49:50,077 --> 00:49:52,596
I'm sorry.
You know what, it's just...
1021
00:49:52,733 --> 00:49:55,317
It loses its value if you
take it out of its packaging.
1022
00:49:55,390 --> 00:49:58,389
I'm just saying, let it out.
Give it some air, man. Play with it.
1023
00:49:58,463 --> 00:50:01,015
- Take your porn with you.
- I'm not taking it.
1024
00:50:01,087 --> 00:50:02,679
Take your box-o-porn.
1025
00:50:02,751 --> 00:50:05,433
- It's my gift to you.
- No. I don't want it.
1026
00:50:05,695 --> 00:50:06,806
David, it's not...
1027
00:50:06,879 --> 00:50:07,892
Andy, for the last time...
1028
00:50:07,967 --> 00:50:09,754
I don't want your giant box
of pornography.
1029
00:50:09,823 --> 00:50:12,026
No, no, no!
Come on, man.
1030
00:50:12,287 --> 00:50:13,530
So uncool.
1031
00:50:14,111 --> 00:50:15,255
Uncool?
1032
00:50:16,256 --> 00:50:19,899
Uncool is trying to give an honest man
a big box of porn, Andy.
1033
00:50:20,769 --> 00:50:23,004
For the last time,
I don't want to watch...
1034
00:50:23,072 --> 00:50:24,664
School of Cock with you.
1035
00:51:31,879 --> 00:51:33,700
It's nothing official.
1036
00:51:34,631 --> 00:51:37,499
Just a little token
of my appreciation.
1037
00:51:57,544 --> 00:52:00,707
Hi, Andy.
I'm gonna talk dirty to you.
1038
00:52:00,777 --> 00:52:04,900
I want to have
lots of sexy sex with you.
1039
00:52:05,066 --> 00:52:08,960
I want to touch your big,
fat noodle...
1040
00:52:09,066 --> 00:52:12,775
'cause I want to have
naughty intercourse with you.
1041
00:52:13,002 --> 00:52:16,776
I want you to put your penis on,
I mean, in me, Andy.
1042
00:52:17,066 --> 00:52:20,327
I want to do lots of,
lots of sexy...
1043
00:52:20,395 --> 00:52:22,979
hot things with you. Shit.
1044
00:52:23,723 --> 00:52:26,689
This really isn't working, Andy.
I don't know what to say...
1045
00:52:26,764 --> 00:52:28,137
because I am you.
1046
00:52:30,155 --> 00:52:31,463
Okay. New tape.
1047
00:52:33,644 --> 00:52:36,360
Nothing is ever good enough
and it's always our fault.
1048
00:52:36,428 --> 00:52:38,215
Hey, you can't speak
to your mother like that.
1049
00:52:38,284 --> 00:52:40,071
- You do.
- She's not my mother.
1050
00:52:44,878 --> 00:52:47,113
I heard Dave gave you
the box of porn.
1051
00:52:47,468 --> 00:52:48,481
Yeah, he did.
1052
00:52:49,838 --> 00:52:51,724
You ever watch, like,
Primetime Live...
1053
00:52:51,790 --> 00:52:53,731
when they take a black light
into a hotel room...
1054
00:52:53,806 --> 00:52:56,194
and show you all the semen
all over the bedspread?
1055
00:52:56,782 --> 00:52:57,729
Yeah.
1056
00:52:58,319 --> 00:53:00,390
You blind someone with that box.
1057
00:53:00,975 --> 00:53:02,730
Could see that thing from space.
1058
00:53:06,126 --> 00:53:08,613
This right here, you looking at
the Bentley of big screen TVs.
1059
00:53:08,687 --> 00:53:10,955
I'm talking about, this is the Rolls-Royce
of big screens...
1060
00:53:12,495 --> 00:53:14,828
Sometimes, I think these butterflies
are in here.
1061
00:53:15,311 --> 00:53:17,165
I think he might be fooling us all,
though.
1062
00:53:17,232 --> 00:53:18,124
Really?
1063
00:53:18,192 --> 00:53:20,296
I actually think he might be,
like, some genius...
1064
00:53:20,368 --> 00:53:22,374
and this is like some big,
like, hilarious...
1065
00:53:22,448 --> 00:53:25,316
Like he's bored at work and he
just wanted to kick up some shit...
1066
00:53:25,392 --> 00:53:26,700
so he told us all he's a virgin.
1067
00:53:26,769 --> 00:53:28,775
You're seeing that a lot of stuff
that's not there.
1068
00:53:28,849 --> 00:53:30,735
You're just projecting all over him.
1069
00:53:30,929 --> 00:53:32,422
He might be an idiot savant...
1070
00:53:32,497 --> 00:53:35,365
but he's not, like,
clever enough to go that deep.
1071
00:53:35,442 --> 00:53:36,750
But he's got a great body.
1072
00:53:36,818 --> 00:53:39,053
- Would you fuck him?
- In a New York minute.
1073
00:53:39,122 --> 00:53:40,681
- You would fuck him?
- Absolutely.
1074
00:53:42,898 --> 00:53:44,620
Hey, Andy, what are you doing
for lunch?
1075
00:53:45,042 --> 00:53:47,146
I don't know.
I have a turkey sandwich.
1076
00:53:47,219 --> 00:53:49,935
We're gonna go around the corner.
I think you should come with us.
1077
00:53:50,003 --> 00:53:52,685
There's this great place.
A lot of cute giris.
1078
00:53:53,075 --> 00:53:54,481
I don't know. Okay.
1079
00:53:55,380 --> 00:53:57,201
We brought you a shirt.
1080
00:53:57,620 --> 00:53:59,342
This place is pretty fancy.
1081
00:54:00,595 --> 00:54:01,576
Something going on?
1082
00:54:01,651 --> 00:54:03,406
Hey, who's ready
to have some fun?
1083
00:54:05,396 --> 00:54:06,736
Hey, guys...
1084
00:54:08,116 --> 00:54:10,482
No, don't ignore me.
I know what this is.
1085
00:54:10,549 --> 00:54:12,937
Within one hour,
you'll each have 20 dates.
1086
00:54:13,077 --> 00:54:16,240
Don't... Please don't do this.
I saw this on Primetime Live.
1087
00:54:16,374 --> 00:54:18,031
All right, ninja master.
1088
00:54:18,421 --> 00:54:20,329
We've given you all the advice
we have to give.
1089
00:54:20,405 --> 00:54:21,549
Now you gonna put it in action.
1090
00:54:21,621 --> 00:54:23,507
Advice? You guys all
gave me different advice.
1091
00:54:23,574 --> 00:54:25,395
- He thinks you're a pothead.
- I am.
1092
00:54:25,558 --> 00:54:28,492
Dude. Hey, partner.
What are you whining about?
1093
00:54:28,567 --> 00:54:30,638
- You asked for this shit.
- No, I didn't.
1094
00:54:30,710 --> 00:54:32,465
Will you just quit whining
like a bitch?
1095
00:54:32,535 --> 00:54:34,955
- I'm not whining like a bitch.
- You are whining like a bitch.
1096
00:54:35,031 --> 00:54:37,899
And you about to cram
like 10 years of pimpage into one day.
1097
00:54:37,975 --> 00:54:40,723
- I don't want to cram pimpage.
- And after that...
1098
00:54:41,143 --> 00:54:42,800
you on my level. Come on.
1099
00:54:42,872 --> 00:54:45,238
- Just ask questions.
- This is a bad idea.
1100
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:49,395
- Hi.
- Hi. How are you?
1101
00:54:49,464 --> 00:54:50,640
I'm fine.
1102
00:54:51,769 --> 00:54:52,913
Are you fine?
1103
00:54:53,656 --> 00:54:54,637
Yeah.
1104
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:57,039
You're fine then?
1105
00:54:57,688 --> 00:55:00,720
Are you fucking retarded?
What the hell's the matter with you?
1106
00:55:01,049 --> 00:55:02,542
Do you want me to be fucking retarded?
1107
00:55:03,674 --> 00:55:05,942
When I look into the eyes
of the children and the parents...
1108
00:55:06,010 --> 00:55:07,383
and they are smiling and saying:
1109
00:55:07,450 --> 00:55:09,620
"Thank you, Dr. Montalban,
you saved my child"...
1110
00:55:09,690 --> 00:55:10,736
it was worth it.
1111
00:55:13,498 --> 00:55:14,577
Amy...
1112
00:55:15,226 --> 00:55:17,265
- ... what are you doing here?
- David.
1113
00:55:18,587 --> 00:55:20,822
- And you are Gina?
- Gina.
1114
00:55:20,923 --> 00:55:22,547
- Hey, what's up?
- Nothing.
1115
00:55:22,683 --> 00:55:25,137
Look, I'm going to be
real honest with you.
1116
00:55:25,212 --> 00:55:27,600
It's been a long time
since I've been with a man.
1117
00:55:27,676 --> 00:55:30,228
Spent a lot of time with the ladies.
1118
00:55:30,299 --> 00:55:32,632
Looking to get back up
on that pogo stick.
1119
00:55:32,700 --> 00:55:34,586
- You know what I'm saying?
- Excuse me.
1120
00:55:34,652 --> 00:55:38,448
Remember that time when we made love
and you cried in my arms?
1121
00:55:38,524 --> 00:55:40,857
Please don't reminisce about
the times we fucked, please.
1122
00:55:40,925 --> 00:55:42,712
- It's so creepy.
- Let's go to Paris.
1123
00:55:42,781 --> 00:55:45,497
I want to take you underneath
the Eiffel Tower and make love to you.
1124
00:55:45,566 --> 00:55:46,775
- Cut it out.
- Cut what out?
1125
00:55:46,846 --> 00:55:49,300
This go to Paris! We've been broken up
for like two years, man.
1126
00:55:49,374 --> 00:55:50,747
I don't want to date you anymore.
1127
00:55:50,813 --> 00:55:52,372
- You're a whore.
- I am not a whore.
1128
00:55:52,446 --> 00:55:54,005
I just didn't like you.
1129
00:55:54,077 --> 00:55:55,156
This is so us.
1130
00:55:57,311 --> 00:55:58,837
- Psycho talk.
- What?
1131
00:55:58,911 --> 00:56:00,666
- You're a good-looking man.
- Thank you.
1132
00:56:00,735 --> 00:56:03,036
Very pretty.
Real soft, delicate features.
1133
00:56:03,103 --> 00:56:05,491
You're real feminine, you know,
which is good for me...
1134
00:56:05,566 --> 00:56:08,118
because that would be
a simple sort of transition.
1135
00:56:08,191 --> 00:56:09,335
You know what I'm saying?
1136
00:56:09,407 --> 00:56:12,439
Maybe throw a little rouge
on you, tuck your sac back.
1137
00:56:12,512 --> 00:56:14,005
- You game?
- No.
1138
00:56:15,103 --> 00:56:18,680
You need to stop fucking around
with my friend, okay?
1139
00:56:18,752 --> 00:56:21,500
Because you're giving him hope,
and it's driving the man crazy.
1140
00:56:21,568 --> 00:56:24,502
I moved, I changed my e-mail address,
my phone number.
1141
00:56:24,576 --> 00:56:25,916
He's practically stalking me.
1142
00:56:25,984 --> 00:56:28,317
Well, I didn't know all that.
So, I'm sorry.
1143
00:56:29,537 --> 00:56:30,616
I love Minnesota.
1144
00:56:30,689 --> 00:56:33,176
I grew up in a town
outside of Minneapolis...
1145
00:56:33,249 --> 00:56:35,997
with a population of, like,
500 people. Really small.
1146
00:56:36,066 --> 00:56:38,236
Yeah, it's like
the Land of a Thousand Lakes.
1147
00:56:38,306 --> 00:56:40,956
What about you? You're used to, like,
a really big city.
1148
00:56:41,090 --> 00:56:43,194
Really... God, yes.
1149
00:56:44,258 --> 00:56:47,453
The town that I grew up in
was really small. I mean...
1150
00:56:47,587 --> 00:56:50,335
you know, it was just so safe.
There was no crime.
1151
00:56:50,403 --> 00:56:53,468
I mean, a girl could just walk
from one end of town to the other...
1152
00:56:53,540 --> 00:56:56,256
and just, you know,
feel completely safe.
1153
00:56:59,300 --> 00:57:00,575
You suppose he's had enough?
1154
00:57:00,643 --> 00:57:02,976
Spank bank has once again been filled.
1155
00:57:03,844 --> 00:57:05,304
I'll tell you who's the hottest.
1156
00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:08,346
You're gonna think I'm crazy.
Let me tell you. Gina.
1157
00:57:08,741 --> 00:57:11,642
Can't get va-Gina out of my head.
Va-Gina all week.
1158
00:57:21,093 --> 00:57:22,433
- You know what's a fun game?
- Huh?
1159
00:57:22,502 --> 00:57:24,356
You take three Excedrin PMs...
1160
00:57:24,422 --> 00:57:27,039
and you see if you could whack off
before you fall asleep.
1161
00:57:28,903 --> 00:57:31,357
You always win is the best part
about the game.
1162
00:57:34,024 --> 00:57:35,845
- Are you Andy?
- Yeah.
1163
00:57:35,910 --> 00:57:37,436
Is this yours?
Did you write this stuff?
1164
00:57:37,511 --> 00:57:40,063
My girlfriend, Jill,
found your speed-dating card.
1165
00:57:40,807 --> 00:57:42,050
Yeah, right.
1166
00:57:42,119 --> 00:57:44,158
God, I've been looking
for that speed-dating card.
1167
00:57:44,232 --> 00:57:45,954
Thank you so much
for bringing it to me.
1168
00:57:46,024 --> 00:57:48,063
So, you actually wrote
that one girl looked like...
1169
00:57:48,136 --> 00:57:49,957
she was
"hurting for a squirting"?
1170
00:57:50,216 --> 00:57:52,866
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Hurting for a squirting,
I wrote that.
1171
00:57:52,937 --> 00:57:55,172
So you wrote "ho fo show. "
1172
00:57:55,945 --> 00:57:58,333
Yeah, I remember that girl.
She was a ho.
1173
00:57:59,048 --> 00:58:00,192
Fo show.
1174
00:58:00,393 --> 00:58:02,366
Let me show you
how this device works.
1175
00:58:02,441 --> 00:58:04,098
Right, I'm just looking
for a cordless phone.
1176
00:58:04,170 --> 00:58:06,689
Yup, it's great. You can do anything,
make video diaries...
1177
00:58:06,762 --> 00:58:10,307
Hey, Amy, how's it going?
How you feeling? I'm great.
1178
00:58:10,507 --> 00:58:13,026
I feel fantastic since we broke up.
1179
00:58:13,545 --> 00:58:15,104
I feel awesome!
1180
00:58:15,178 --> 00:58:17,730
Can you just show me the department
where there would be phones?
1181
00:58:17,802 --> 00:58:19,873
How have you been?
What's been going on...
1182
00:58:19,947 --> 00:58:21,920
I bet... Hey, have you been
doing a lot of this?
1183
00:58:24,140 --> 00:58:25,448
Sir, please, sir.
1184
00:58:25,516 --> 00:58:26,922
You are never gonna meet anybody...
1185
00:58:26,987 --> 00:58:29,539
with that kind of mentality about women,
you sick son of a bitch.
1186
00:58:29,612 --> 00:58:31,269
Who the fuck are you
to put me on trial?
1187
00:58:31,339 --> 00:58:32,931
I've never even met you.
1188
00:58:33,003 --> 00:58:35,107
So why don't you back the shit off,
all right?
1189
00:58:35,180 --> 00:58:37,121
And stop with the inquisition.
1190
00:58:37,229 --> 00:58:38,438
That's how you talk?
1191
00:58:38,508 --> 00:58:40,295
You know what,
I don't have to answer to you.
1192
00:58:40,365 --> 00:58:41,825
You ain't my bitch.
1193
00:58:41,901 --> 00:58:43,394
Know what I saying?
1194
00:58:43,469 --> 00:58:45,704
So, shit, man. Fuck it.
1195
00:58:45,774 --> 00:58:47,715
You shouldn't even be
hanging out with this pervert.
1196
00:58:47,790 --> 00:58:49,829
I don't hang out with him.
I work with him and that's it.
1197
00:58:49,901 --> 00:58:51,525
I tried to introduce him
to a few nice people...
1198
00:58:51,597 --> 00:58:52,643
he made a fool of himself.
1199
00:58:52,717 --> 00:58:54,309
I don't mess with him, baby.
That's not me.
1200
00:58:54,381 --> 00:58:56,518
You should keep your ho
on a leash.
1201
00:58:56,590 --> 00:58:58,182
- Bro, I can't let you...
- Hey.
1202
00:58:58,255 --> 00:59:00,326
I can't let you be talking
to my woman like that, dawg.
1203
00:59:00,398 --> 00:59:02,469
- Know what I'm saying?
- Bitch is running wild, man.
1204
00:59:02,543 --> 00:59:05,641
You miss that ass?
That's the ass of a free man.
1205
00:59:05,711 --> 00:59:07,979
That ass is going out tonight,
maybe to a club.
1206
00:59:08,047 --> 00:59:09,540
Maybe to a night club.
1207
00:59:09,743 --> 00:59:11,018
Hey, Andy...
1208
00:59:11,087 --> 00:59:13,322
- ... take a look at your pal.
- Oh, my God.
1209
00:59:13,391 --> 00:59:15,845
Yeah, he's performing
a public colonoscopy.
1210
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:17,260
Isn't that sweet?
1211
00:59:17,328 --> 00:59:18,756
I'm gonna send
David home for the day...
1212
00:59:18,832 --> 00:59:19,943
and you're gonna fill in for him.
1213
00:59:20,016 --> 00:59:21,640
- What? Selling things?
- You got that right.
1214
00:59:21,712 --> 00:59:22,888
I don't think that's a good idea.
1215
00:59:22,961 --> 00:59:24,421
And you're gonna have to
talk to people, too.
1216
00:59:24,497 --> 00:59:26,056
I know that's a frightening
concept to you...
1217
00:59:26,128 --> 00:59:27,304
but I think you can handle it.
1218
00:59:27,376 --> 00:59:29,066
So get out there
and start selling some shit.
1219
00:59:29,136 --> 00:59:30,379
...thing for Amy.
1220
00:59:30,705 --> 00:59:32,111
- Hold it.
- Check it out.
1221
00:59:32,177 --> 00:59:33,517
I miss her.
1222
00:59:36,274 --> 00:59:38,160
Dude, the floor's
the ultimate aphrodisiac.
1223
00:59:38,226 --> 00:59:39,948
All you got to do
is go make your pick now.
1224
00:59:40,018 --> 00:59:42,286
- Come on, man.
- Okay.
1225
00:59:43,026 --> 00:59:44,934
And you could act
a little enthused about it.
1226
00:59:45,010 --> 00:59:46,056
Yeah.
1227
00:59:47,411 --> 00:59:50,476
That's right. That's right.
Gazelle in the pink top.
1228
00:59:51,603 --> 00:59:53,227
- Oh, shit.
- Hi.
1229
00:59:53,299 --> 00:59:55,272
Looks like you're
checking out digital cameras.
1230
00:59:55,348 --> 00:59:57,202
You know what, he ain't going
to do it willingly.
1231
00:59:57,268 --> 00:59:59,984
No. We need to, like,
really facilitate things a bit more.
1232
01:00:00,052 --> 01:00:01,512
- Yo, Andy.
- Yeah.
1233
01:00:01,587 --> 01:00:03,047
What's up, dude?
This is Jay, man.
1234
01:00:03,124 --> 01:00:04,333
Hey, Jay.
1235
01:00:04,436 --> 01:00:05,809
I am throwing a party tonight.
1236
01:00:05,876 --> 01:00:07,533
It's gonna be real mellow,
just chilled up.
1237
01:00:07,604 --> 01:00:08,944
Now, you really
need to be there.
1238
01:00:09,012 --> 01:00:11,432
It's gonna be really, really colorful.
1239
01:00:11,701 --> 01:00:12,944
Are you free?
1240
01:00:13,781 --> 01:00:14,794
Yeah, I think so.
1241
01:00:14,869 --> 01:00:17,170
That was a joke, man.
I know you're free.
1242
01:00:17,462 --> 01:00:18,770
- I'm okay.
- Gotta go, man.
1243
01:00:18,837 --> 01:00:19,883
All right, bye.
1244
01:00:22,549 --> 01:00:24,588
So, tell me, Montel...
1245
01:00:24,950 --> 01:00:27,884
why weren't we invited to the party?
What are we, Al-Qaeda?
1246
01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:29,004
No, hold up.
1247
01:00:29,078 --> 01:00:31,182
- No, no.
- It's not that kind of party, y'all.
1248
01:00:31,255 --> 01:00:33,196
You're not coming
to our fucking party either, okay?
1249
01:00:33,271 --> 01:00:34,284
Fuck you, okay?
1250
01:00:34,359 --> 01:00:36,049
First of all,
it ain't that kind of party.
1251
01:00:36,119 --> 01:00:37,940
- Go fuck a goat.
- Yeah.
1252
01:00:38,039 --> 01:00:39,794
Why you always telling me
to fuck a goat, man?
1253
01:00:39,863 --> 01:00:40,844
Fuck a goat!
1254
01:00:56,728 --> 01:00:57,839
Hello?
1255
01:01:00,057 --> 01:01:01,136
Hello?
1256
01:01:02,873 --> 01:01:04,017
Hello.
1257
01:01:05,561 --> 01:01:07,185
Hello. Hi.
1258
01:01:08,122 --> 01:01:10,542
- Are you here for Jay's party?
- Yes.
1259
01:01:10,939 --> 01:01:12,498
I am Jay's party.
1260
01:01:14,266 --> 01:01:17,232
You know what, hiring a transvestite
prostitute isn't helping me, man.
1261
01:01:17,306 --> 01:01:19,476
What? Ain't nobody hired
no damn transvestite.
1262
01:01:19,546 --> 01:01:20,527
What are you talking about?
1263
01:01:20,603 --> 01:01:22,358
She was really nice, incidentally.
1264
01:01:22,427 --> 01:01:24,084
If that sister was a transvestite...
1265
01:01:24,155 --> 01:01:26,161
that was the Mona Lisa
of transvestites.
1266
01:01:26,235 --> 01:01:28,056
You got a hummer from the tranny,
didn't you?
1267
01:01:28,124 --> 01:01:31,319
You know, aren't we owed one now?
'Cause technically we paid her.
1268
01:01:31,387 --> 01:01:32,662
Get a dick, man.
1269
01:01:32,732 --> 01:01:34,324
Do you guys even like me?
1270
01:01:34,396 --> 01:01:37,711
Or is this some sort of cruel joke
that you're all in on?
1271
01:01:37,788 --> 01:01:39,991
Because I'm not a freak.
I'm a good person.
1272
01:01:40,061 --> 01:01:43,409
I always thought that Matt Damon
was like a Streisand, but...
1273
01:01:44,029 --> 01:01:45,915
I think that he's rocking
the shit in this one.
1274
01:01:45,981 --> 01:01:47,638
Shut up, Dave!
1275
01:01:47,710 --> 01:01:51,419
Hold up. Let's just chill
on the aggression for a minute.
1276
01:01:51,805 --> 01:01:55,732
Look at him.
He is such a bad ass.
1277
01:01:56,350 --> 01:01:58,618
He looks just like Luke Wilson.
1278
01:01:58,686 --> 01:01:59,633
Mmm-hmm.
1279
01:01:59,742 --> 01:02:01,399
So you saying she was definitely a man?
1280
01:02:01,471 --> 01:02:02,452
Yes.
1281
01:02:02,527 --> 01:02:04,533
Okay, well, how do you know
that she was a man?
1282
01:02:04,607 --> 01:02:07,421
Because her hands were
as big as Andr� the Giant's.
1283
01:02:07,743 --> 01:02:10,327
And she had an Adam's apple
as big as her balls.
1284
01:02:11,071 --> 01:02:12,499
So you have no proof.
1285
01:02:12,704 --> 01:02:14,459
You know what?
Just leave me alone.
1286
01:02:14,527 --> 01:02:16,500
Just stay away from me.
Or I'm gonna tell Paula...
1287
01:02:16,576 --> 01:02:18,430
that you're all stealing
the recordable CDs.
1288
01:02:19,072 --> 01:02:21,624
- Come on.
- That's like we were paid to do it.
1289
01:02:21,697 --> 01:02:23,670
We did this 'cause we're your friends...
1290
01:02:23,745 --> 01:02:26,395
and we didn't think you have
the balls to do it yourself.
1291
01:02:26,464 --> 01:02:27,673
- Really?
- Yeah.
1292
01:02:27,905 --> 01:02:29,180
Okay, watch this.
1293
01:02:29,377 --> 01:02:30,783
Yo, Andy, it's just CDs, man.
1294
01:02:30,849 --> 01:02:32,670
That's a third strike for me, dawg.
1295
01:02:55,300 --> 01:02:56,247
Hi.
1296
01:02:56,931 --> 01:02:58,970
- Andy. Hi.
- Right, yeah.
1297
01:02:59,140 --> 01:03:00,862
- You remember my name.
- I did.
1298
01:03:00,932 --> 01:03:03,320
- How you doing?
- I'm great. I like your store.
1299
01:03:03,395 --> 01:03:05,849
That's good, yeah.
If you have time, look around. It's...
1300
01:03:05,924 --> 01:03:06,970
Okay.
1301
01:03:07,396 --> 01:03:08,671
How's business been?
1302
01:03:08,741 --> 01:03:11,587
You know, it's coming along.
I mean, it takes a while.
1303
01:03:11,653 --> 01:03:14,554
- Do you want to go out sometime?
- Yes.
1304
01:03:15,013 --> 01:03:17,401
Yes, I would like that.
That would be great.
1305
01:03:17,478 --> 01:03:21,089
I think I'm maybe free this weekend,
if that's okay.
1306
01:03:21,157 --> 01:03:23,839
Or you could call me tomorrow
and we can just firm it up.
1307
01:03:23,909 --> 01:03:25,369
- Okay. Great.
- Great.
1308
01:03:25,446 --> 01:03:28,893
Okay, so I'll call you,
and yeah, that'll be good.
1309
01:03:28,966 --> 01:03:30,394
- How you doing?
- Congratulations.
1310
01:03:30,471 --> 01:03:32,292
Okay, so I'll... Yeah.
1311
01:03:32,615 --> 01:03:33,858
Can I help you?
1312
01:03:33,927 --> 01:03:36,347
Yeah, these are wonderful.
I'll take these.
1313
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:39,999
Thanks, they are. They're great.
The goldfish just crack me up.
1314
01:03:40,135 --> 01:03:41,116
Funny.
1315
01:03:41,191 --> 01:03:42,237
- Yeah, they are.
- Yeah.
1316
01:03:42,311 --> 01:03:43,455
- Yeah.
- They're cute.
1317
01:03:43,527 --> 01:03:46,559
I don't actually sell anything here.
I just sell them on eBay.
1318
01:03:47,208 --> 01:03:48,352
I don't get it.
1319
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:49,627
Okay.
1320
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:52,614
- Can you help me?
- No, you're on your own here.
1321
01:03:52,681 --> 01:03:55,713
Good luck to you, and to you.
And I'll give you a call.
1322
01:03:55,786 --> 01:03:58,654
- Great. Nice to see you.
- Great. Thanks for coming in.
1323
01:03:59,209 --> 01:04:00,190
Bye.
1324
01:04:00,777 --> 01:04:02,750
So, I guess I'll just
give you some money...
1325
01:04:02,825 --> 01:04:05,245
and you can give me
these shoes and...
1326
01:04:05,322 --> 01:04:07,906
You know,
I know it seems so strange...
1327
01:04:07,978 --> 01:04:10,562
Yes. I'd just rather buy them
from you straight up.
1328
01:04:10,635 --> 01:04:12,489
Yeah, I know.
I wish it could be that easy, but...
1329
01:04:12,555 --> 01:04:15,653
I wish, too, but you're making it
extremely difficult for me.
1330
01:04:15,722 --> 01:04:17,793
I'm just trying to get these shoes
back to my house...
1331
01:04:17,867 --> 01:04:19,043
so I can wear them.
1332
01:04:19,498 --> 01:04:20,991
I got a corpse in my way.
1333
01:04:21,067 --> 01:04:22,178
Look out. Just kill it.
1334
01:04:22,251 --> 01:04:25,152
That's just so not fair
that you have blades and...
1335
01:04:25,227 --> 01:04:27,014
I'm telling you, man,
I feel great.
1336
01:04:27,148 --> 01:04:29,089
I'm so...
It's like a weight has been lifted.
1337
01:04:29,164 --> 01:04:32,611
Celibacy is the way to go, man.
Andy had it right, you know?
1338
01:04:32,683 --> 01:04:34,470
Look at him.
He looks younger than all of us...
1339
01:04:34,540 --> 01:04:35,749
but he's 10 years older.
1340
01:04:35,820 --> 01:04:38,208
Why? Because he's never had
a relationship.
1341
01:04:38,381 --> 01:04:40,900
No she-devil sucked
his life force out yet.
1342
01:04:56,750 --> 01:04:58,985
- Hello?
- Hey. Hi. Hello.
1343
01:04:59,343 --> 01:05:00,324
Is this Trish?
1344
01:05:01,263 --> 01:05:03,367
- Who's calling, please?
- This is Andy.
1345
01:05:03,439 --> 01:05:05,576
- Hi, Andy.
- Hi, how you doing?
1346
01:05:05,647 --> 01:05:08,461
- I'm good. How're you doing?
- I'm doing great.
1347
01:05:09,231 --> 01:05:10,440
So you're gay, now?
1348
01:05:10,511 --> 01:05:12,332
No, I'm not gay.
I'm just celibate.
1349
01:05:12,975 --> 01:05:14,948
I think...
I mean, that sounds gay.
1350
01:05:15,023 --> 01:05:17,804
I just want you to know
that this is the first conversation...
1351
01:05:17,872 --> 01:05:21,166
of three conversations
that leads to you being gay.
1352
01:05:21,585 --> 01:05:24,072
There's this and then in a year
it's like, "You know...
1353
01:05:24,145 --> 01:05:27,177
"I'm kind of going to wanna get back
out there, but I think I like guys. "
1354
01:05:27,248 --> 01:05:29,964
And then there's the big,
"I'm a gay guy now. "
1355
01:05:30,225 --> 01:05:32,591
- You're gay for saying that.
- I'm gay for saying that?
1356
01:05:32,657 --> 01:05:35,144
- You know how I know you're gay?
- How? How do you know I'm gay?
1357
01:05:35,218 --> 01:05:37,606
'Cause you macram�d yourself
a pair of jean shorts.
1358
01:05:37,682 --> 01:05:38,728
You know how I know you're gay?
1359
01:05:38,802 --> 01:05:40,808
You just told me you're not sleeping
with women anymore.
1360
01:05:40,883 --> 01:05:42,376
- You know how I know you're gay?
- How?
1361
01:05:42,451 --> 01:05:45,417
'Cause you're gay and you can tell
who other gay people are?
1362
01:05:45,489 --> 01:05:46,917
- Do you know how I know you're gay?
- How?
1363
01:05:46,994 --> 01:05:48,400
You like Coldplay.
1364
01:05:49,075 --> 01:05:50,350
You're dead.
1365
01:05:51,699 --> 01:05:52,712
Come on.
1366
01:05:52,787 --> 01:05:54,673
Leave my torso alone at least.
1367
01:05:55,507 --> 01:05:56,880
I also wanted to call...
1368
01:05:56,948 --> 01:05:59,532
and see what night
you might want to go out.
1369
01:05:59,636 --> 01:06:01,358
I'm actually free tonight.
1370
01:06:03,347 --> 01:06:06,608
Okay. Now, I was thinking maybe
this weekend, but that's good. Okay.
1371
01:06:06,676 --> 01:06:07,623
Great.
1372
01:06:07,700 --> 01:06:09,608
Okay, what time
do you want to pick me up?
1373
01:06:10,997 --> 01:06:12,272
Let's see.
1374
01:06:13,109 --> 01:06:16,556
That's actually kind of a problem
because I ride a bike.
1375
01:06:16,821 --> 01:06:18,161
That's cool.
Are you kidding me?
1376
01:06:18,230 --> 01:06:19,952
I love getting on the back
of a motorcycle.
1377
01:06:20,022 --> 01:06:22,606
My boyfriend in college
drove a motorcycle.
1378
01:06:22,678 --> 01:06:24,400
So, I mean, I'm cool.
1379
01:06:24,469 --> 01:06:28,396
Yeah, I bet that was cool.
I ride a bicycle.
1380
01:06:29,462 --> 01:06:31,021
You know how I know that you're gay?
1381
01:06:31,095 --> 01:06:32,108
How?
1382
01:06:32,182 --> 01:06:34,352
You like the movie
Maid in Manhattan.
1383
01:06:34,423 --> 01:06:35,883
- You know how I know you're gay?
- How?
1384
01:06:35,959 --> 01:06:38,991
I saw you make a spinach dip
in a loaf of sourdough bread once.
1385
01:06:39,063 --> 01:06:40,753
- You know how I know you're gay?
- How?
1386
01:06:40,822 --> 01:06:43,439
You have a rainbow bumper sticker
on your car that says:
1387
01:06:43,511 --> 01:06:45,648
"I love it when balls are in my face. "
1388
01:06:45,720 --> 01:06:46,766
That's gay?
1389
01:06:46,839 --> 01:06:48,147
God damn it!
1390
01:06:48,536 --> 01:06:51,055
I'm ripping your head off right now.
It's off.
1391
01:06:51,129 --> 01:06:53,517
And now I'm throwing it
at your body.
1392
01:06:54,329 --> 01:06:55,310
Fuck you!
1393
01:06:56,729 --> 01:06:57,808
You guys...
1394
01:06:58,553 --> 01:07:00,624
she's picking me up in an hour.
1395
01:07:01,625 --> 01:07:03,184
Oh, drag, dude.
1396
01:07:03,706 --> 01:07:05,876
- She's picking you up from here?
- Yeah.
1397
01:07:05,945 --> 01:07:07,438
That's fucked up, man.
1398
01:07:07,513 --> 01:07:09,072
- Why?
- Why?
1399
01:07:09,754 --> 01:07:13,048
Seriously. I mean,
look at this place, man.
1400
01:07:13,563 --> 01:07:16,693
You gotta see this through
the eyes of a woman, you know?
1401
01:07:16,762 --> 01:07:18,997
What is she going to think
when she comes in here? Look.
1402
01:07:19,067 --> 01:07:21,433
- He's got a billion toys.
- So what?
1403
01:07:21,498 --> 01:07:24,148
And more video games
than a teenaged Asian kid.
1404
01:07:24,219 --> 01:07:25,679
It's all right.
1405
01:07:26,299 --> 01:07:28,981
Is that the
Six Million Dollar Man's boss?
1406
01:07:29,308 --> 01:07:30,419
It's Oscar Goldman.
1407
01:07:30,492 --> 01:07:32,629
- Why do you have that?
- That's worth a lot of money.
1408
01:07:32,701 --> 01:07:34,587
That's much more valuable
than Steve Austin.
1409
01:07:34,651 --> 01:07:38,741
Well, that may be the case.
But none of this shit is sexy, okay?
1410
01:07:38,812 --> 01:07:40,469
I'm not trying to be sexy, man.
1411
01:07:40,541 --> 01:07:41,947
I mean, seriously, Asia?
1412
01:07:42,076 --> 01:07:43,863
You framed an Asia poster?
1413
01:07:43,933 --> 01:07:45,841
How hard did the people
at the frame store laugh...
1414
01:07:45,917 --> 01:07:47,858
- ... when you brought this in?
- They did not laugh at me.
1415
01:07:47,933 --> 01:07:49,754
- Know why you're gay?
- Because you like Asia.
1416
01:07:49,822 --> 01:07:51,031
You guys cool it with the gay.
1417
01:07:51,102 --> 01:07:52,857
You know, she's on her way
over here, okay?
1418
01:07:52,926 --> 01:07:54,583
First, you relax, okay?
1419
01:07:54,653 --> 01:07:57,816
Just stop calming me down
and tell me what I should do.
1420
01:07:57,886 --> 01:07:59,990
Okay, we just take everything
that's embarrassing...
1421
01:08:00,062 --> 01:08:01,075
and we move it out of here.
1422
01:08:01,151 --> 01:08:03,092
So it doesn't look like
you live in Neverland Ranch.
1423
01:08:10,207 --> 01:08:11,383
- Hi.
- Hi. How are you?
1424
01:08:11,455 --> 01:08:12,436
Good.
1425
01:08:12,511 --> 01:08:14,419
So, you wanna head out?
1426
01:08:14,496 --> 01:08:16,283
Did you just move in or something?
1427
01:08:16,352 --> 01:08:18,522
No. Actually I'm getting
new carpet in.
1428
01:08:18,592 --> 01:08:20,893
I'm having carpet put in tomorrow, so...
1429
01:08:22,208 --> 01:08:23,483
- Well, you know.
- Yeah.
1430
01:08:23,552 --> 01:08:25,176
- Okay.
- Looks good with the floors.
1431
01:08:25,249 --> 01:08:26,622
- Yeah.
- All right.
1432
01:08:26,945 --> 01:08:28,351
I should tear up the hard wood...
1433
01:08:28,416 --> 01:08:30,455
and see if there's carpet underneath.
1434
01:08:30,528 --> 01:08:32,315
That's never the case.
1435
01:08:35,522 --> 01:08:37,114
- This is gonna be fun.
- Yes.
1436
01:08:37,186 --> 01:08:39,007
You know,
I drive by this place every day.
1437
01:08:39,074 --> 01:08:40,731
I've never been in before.
1438
01:08:41,346 --> 01:08:42,522
I'm glad you came.
1439
01:08:42,595 --> 01:08:45,725
You know, I never really go out
with nice guys like you.
1440
01:08:46,626 --> 01:08:49,374
I think I've avoided nice guys
like you my whole life...
1441
01:08:49,442 --> 01:08:50,848
at my own peril.
1442
01:08:52,643 --> 01:08:54,235
My last boyfriend drank a lot.
1443
01:08:54,307 --> 01:08:55,254
Mmm-hmm.
1444
01:08:55,332 --> 01:08:56,792
- And so...
- This is just punch.
1445
01:08:58,019 --> 01:08:59,741
No, it's okay.
A little bit's fine.
1446
01:08:59,812 --> 01:09:01,982
Buddha punch.
I need some Buddha.
1447
01:09:02,501 --> 01:09:04,867
Excuse me, miss.
Could you gather your team...
1448
01:09:04,932 --> 01:09:07,549
and sing happy birthday
for my daughter, please?
1449
01:09:25,253 --> 01:09:27,870
- That was so good. What?
- That was great. Happy birthday.
1450
01:09:27,942 --> 01:09:29,828
- It's your birthday, too?
- No.
1451
01:09:29,895 --> 01:09:31,901
- It's his birthday, too.
- No, no, no.
1452
01:09:31,974 --> 01:09:34,461
Could you sing for him
and bring him a cake?
1453
01:09:34,535 --> 01:09:35,963
Happy birthday.
1454
01:09:49,384 --> 01:09:51,652
- Thanks a lot.
- Happy birthday, Andy.
1455
01:10:07,305 --> 01:10:10,370
- You really like kissing, don't you?
- Yes.
1456
01:10:13,035 --> 01:10:14,244
I really do.
1457
01:10:14,314 --> 01:10:15,971
Take off your pants, okay?
1458
01:10:17,450 --> 01:10:18,725
- Okay.
- Okay.
1459
01:10:21,131 --> 01:10:23,399
- Wow, this is really gonna happen.
- Oh, yeah.
1460
01:10:23,467 --> 01:10:24,840
Thank God.
1461
01:10:26,219 --> 01:10:29,251
- Okay, I'm taking off my pants.
- Yeah.
1462
01:10:29,484 --> 01:10:31,010
Do you need some help?
1463
01:10:31,372 --> 01:10:34,687
I think I almost got them.
It's hooked on my ankle.
1464
01:10:35,339 --> 01:10:36,832
Wow, that's...
1465
01:10:38,348 --> 01:10:40,103
Hey, wait.
Do you have protection?
1466
01:10:40,173 --> 01:10:41,765
I don't like guns.
1467
01:10:44,589 --> 01:10:46,049
That's funny.
1468
01:10:46,125 --> 01:10:48,393
I have condoms right here. Okay?
1469
01:10:48,462 --> 01:10:50,249
- Okay.
- There's, you know...
1470
01:10:50,318 --> 01:10:53,252
Check the expiration date because
they were from when I was married.
1471
01:10:53,325 --> 01:10:56,041
And we didn't have sex that often.
That's why there are so many, okay?
1472
01:10:56,109 --> 01:10:57,155
Okay.
1473
01:11:01,358 --> 01:11:02,666
I got them.
1474
01:11:04,943 --> 01:11:06,502
How does this go?
1475
01:11:06,991 --> 01:11:11,497
Okay. "Roll over the tip
and down onto the base. "
1476
01:11:13,327 --> 01:11:14,820
Over the balls?
1477
01:11:15,407 --> 01:11:16,715
It doesn't say.
1478
01:11:19,792 --> 01:11:21,896
Do you mind if I use your magnum?
1479
01:11:23,025 --> 01:11:23,972
Yeah.
1480
01:11:25,777 --> 01:11:27,663
Wow. You got to be kidding.
1481
01:11:28,465 --> 01:11:29,871
I am Aquaman.
1482
01:11:31,889 --> 01:11:33,295
What is that?
1483
01:11:50,642 --> 01:11:51,655
Mom?
1484
01:11:52,787 --> 01:11:53,996
What's going on here?
1485
01:11:54,067 --> 01:11:55,921
- Who the hell are you?
- It's Andy.
1486
01:11:55,987 --> 01:11:57,000
Hi, I'm Andy.
1487
01:11:57,076 --> 01:11:58,504
God! What are you doing?
1488
01:11:58,580 --> 01:12:00,521
Marla, get the fuck out of my room!
1489
01:12:00,596 --> 01:12:01,577
You know what...
1490
01:12:01,652 --> 01:12:04,106
I cannot believe that you're allowed
to have sex when I'm not!
1491
01:12:04,180 --> 01:12:06,034
- That is so unfair.
- I'm gonna head out.
1492
01:12:06,099 --> 01:12:07,080
You should go.
1493
01:12:07,156 --> 01:12:10,002
Oh, Jesus!
How many times did you just do it?
1494
01:12:10,069 --> 01:12:11,148
Oh, my God!
1495
01:12:13,461 --> 01:12:14,867
I'm so sorry.
1496
01:12:21,622 --> 01:12:23,476
Dude, teach me.
1497
01:12:33,303 --> 01:12:34,250
Hotline.
1498
01:12:34,327 --> 01:12:37,675
Hi, yes, I'm calling
because it's more than four hours...
1499
01:12:37,751 --> 01:12:40,685
and your ad said to call
if it's been more than four hours.
1500
01:12:40,759 --> 01:12:42,613
How much of the medicine
have you taken, sir?
1501
01:12:43,127 --> 01:12:45,908
I haven't taken any,
but your ad said...
1502
01:12:45,975 --> 01:12:49,684
that if you've had an erection
for more than four hours, you call.
1503
01:12:49,816 --> 01:12:53,044
You're only supposed to call
if you've taken the medicine.
1504
01:12:53,113 --> 01:12:56,374
Okay. I'm sorry.
I must not have heard that part.
1505
01:12:56,441 --> 01:12:58,807
Yes. If you haven't taken
the medicine, you don't call.
1506
01:12:58,873 --> 01:13:00,814
Right. I'm sorry. Right.
1507
01:13:00,953 --> 01:13:03,090
So, there's nothing you can do?
1508
01:13:03,513 --> 01:13:05,486
- I just don't wanna...
- There's nothing I can do.
1509
01:13:05,562 --> 01:13:06,575
I'm in Bombay, India.
1510
01:13:06,681 --> 01:13:09,298
Okay. No, not you personally.
I just don't want...
1511
01:13:09,594 --> 01:13:11,415
I just don't want
to have an erection anymore.
1512
01:13:12,538 --> 01:13:14,609
You know,
you could have sex.
1513
01:13:14,714 --> 01:13:15,661
Okay. Yup.
1514
01:13:16,315 --> 01:13:20,024
That's one thing people do
when they have an erection.
1515
01:13:20,090 --> 01:13:22,544
Yeah, that's not an option.
I don't have sex.
1516
01:13:22,619 --> 01:13:24,854
Okay, well,
then you can masturbate.
1517
01:13:24,923 --> 01:13:26,547
I'd rather not masturbate.
1518
01:13:26,620 --> 01:13:29,466
If you'd like the erection
to go away, you can light a match...
1519
01:13:29,532 --> 01:13:33,426
blow out the flame and put
the hot ember on your wrist.
1520
01:13:34,109 --> 01:13:36,148
And that will focus
the brain elsewhere...
1521
01:13:36,220 --> 01:13:38,640
- ... and you will lose your erection.
- Really? That'd work?
1522
01:13:38,716 --> 01:13:41,398
Take your finger
and flick your testicle...
1523
01:13:41,469 --> 01:13:42,875
and if you do that till it hurts...
1524
01:13:42,941 --> 01:13:45,045
- ... your erection will go away.
- Okay, all right.
1525
01:13:45,117 --> 01:13:46,457
It sounds unpleasant and it is.
1526
01:13:46,525 --> 01:13:48,182
It is a trick we use in India.
1527
01:13:48,254 --> 01:13:51,865
Okay, those are all good pieces of advice.
I really appreciate it.
1528
01:13:51,934 --> 01:13:53,875
We appreciate your business.
1529
01:13:54,045 --> 01:13:56,018
Oh, no.
We didn't get your business...
1530
01:13:56,093 --> 01:13:59,387
No, not this time. I guess
I didn't need you this time. Thank you.
1531
01:14:26,753 --> 01:14:29,207
My goodness, Andy,
you are a terrific salesman.
1532
01:14:29,282 --> 01:14:31,517
- Thank you.
- Gosh, you really got it down.
1533
01:14:31,585 --> 01:14:33,340
- Thanks.
- And your numbers are good.
1534
01:14:33,409 --> 01:14:34,335
Thanks.
1535
01:14:34,401 --> 01:14:36,255
I'm going to put you out
on the floor full time.
1536
01:14:36,321 --> 01:14:37,268
- Really?
- Yeah.
1537
01:14:37,345 --> 01:14:38,205
Wow. Okay.
1538
01:14:38,274 --> 01:14:40,477
Good. We're gonna get you a blue shirt
and tie, all right?
1539
01:14:40,546 --> 01:14:41,438
Great. Thanks.
1540
01:14:41,506 --> 01:14:44,407
You know, Andy, I've been thinking
about your problem.
1541
01:14:44,483 --> 01:14:46,554
I think I might have
a solution for you.
1542
01:14:47,715 --> 01:14:50,681
You ever heard of the term
"fuck buddy"?
1543
01:14:52,386 --> 01:14:53,432
What?
1544
01:14:53,571 --> 01:14:55,937
It's a special friend...
1545
01:14:56,835 --> 01:14:58,011
who you fuck.
1546
01:14:58,948 --> 01:15:00,954
No, haven't heard that term.
1547
01:15:01,027 --> 01:15:03,841
When I was a little girl,
I developed early.
1548
01:15:04,484 --> 01:15:07,418
By the time I was 14,
I had this body you're looking at.
1549
01:15:07,492 --> 01:15:10,426
- Can you imagine that?
- I don't want to, no.
1550
01:15:11,012 --> 01:15:13,946
Well, needless to say,
a lot of male attention.
1551
01:15:14,020 --> 01:15:15,131
Like men, yes.
1552
01:15:15,205 --> 01:15:19,034
Especially from our
Guatemalan gardener, Javier.
1553
01:15:19,206 --> 01:15:20,285
Okay.
1554
01:15:20,646 --> 01:15:22,303
You know, Javier...
1555
01:15:23,142 --> 01:15:27,713
before he made passionate yet gentle love
to me for the first time...
1556
01:15:29,030 --> 01:15:32,990
he serenaded me with a beautiful
old Guatemalan love song.
1557
01:15:33,062 --> 01:15:34,654
Really, that's...
1558
01:15:35,015 --> 01:15:37,316
That sounds nice.
1559
01:16:03,593 --> 01:16:04,606
Okay.
1560
01:16:06,185 --> 01:16:07,361
My goodness.
1561
01:16:07,658 --> 01:16:09,795
- I think we better get back to work.
- Yeah.
1562
01:16:09,866 --> 01:16:12,101
- Yeah, I better go back to work.
- Yeah.
1563
01:16:12,171 --> 01:16:13,926
- So, okay.
- All right.
1564
01:16:14,027 --> 01:16:15,814
So, you mull it over
and I'll talk to you soon.
1565
01:16:15,883 --> 01:16:17,638
- All right, I will. Thank you.
- Okay.
1566
01:16:22,538 --> 01:16:25,406
What's up, dawg? What happened?
How was the date with Trish?
1567
01:16:25,483 --> 01:16:27,718
- It was a disaster.
- Really?
1568
01:16:27,787 --> 01:16:30,469
Yes. I've never been
more embarrassed in my life.
1569
01:16:30,667 --> 01:16:32,608
Couldn't get the condoms to work.
1570
01:16:32,684 --> 01:16:35,334
And one of them exploded on my balls.
1571
01:16:35,661 --> 01:16:37,351
And then her kid walked in the room.
1572
01:16:37,420 --> 01:16:38,312
Wait. Hold up.
1573
01:16:38,380 --> 01:16:39,840
She was hiding the kid from you, dawg?
1574
01:16:39,916 --> 01:16:41,191
You know what, it doesn't matter...
1575
01:16:41,260 --> 01:16:43,495
because it was going downhill
straight from there.
1576
01:16:43,564 --> 01:16:45,668
Listen, you don't want
no baby-daddy drama.
1577
01:16:45,741 --> 01:16:46,917
Trust me on this one, all right?
1578
01:16:46,989 --> 01:16:48,962
For all you know,
he in prison right now.
1579
01:16:49,037 --> 01:16:50,345
Let's say y'all living together.
1580
01:16:50,414 --> 01:16:53,260
Next thing you know, you the one
going on the 1st and the 15th...
1581
01:16:53,326 --> 01:16:54,502
to pick up the government check.
1582
01:16:54,574 --> 01:16:56,580
What if he got boys
that's on the outside...
1583
01:16:56,653 --> 01:16:57,699
and they stalking you?
1584
01:16:57,774 --> 01:16:59,595
You see what I'm saying?
You got to think, partner...
1585
01:16:59,662 --> 01:17:01,286
What the fuck are you talking about?
1586
01:17:01,358 --> 01:17:03,724
Here's what you do.
You tell her you're a virgin.
1587
01:17:03,791 --> 01:17:05,830
You test her with this shit, okay?
1588
01:17:05,903 --> 01:17:08,553
Here, tell me. Tell me.
This is how it's gonna go. Tell me.
1589
01:17:08,623 --> 01:17:10,345
- I'm a virgin.
- Sweet.
1590
01:17:10,832 --> 01:17:14,093
I like that because
you don't have chlamydia.
1591
01:17:15,280 --> 01:17:17,897
And I know that,
and that shit is everywhere.
1592
01:17:18,416 --> 01:17:20,138
What if she laughs at me, though?
1593
01:17:20,208 --> 01:17:22,312
Then you punch her in the fucking head
if she laughs.
1594
01:17:22,384 --> 01:17:24,838
I'm not going to punch her in the head.
She's really sweet.
1595
01:17:24,913 --> 01:17:28,327
No. I mean, you punch her
in her fucking head emotionally.
1596
01:17:28,401 --> 01:17:31,269
She's different. She's someone
I felt like I had...
1597
01:17:31,345 --> 01:17:32,620
a connection with.
1598
01:17:32,689 --> 01:17:35,819
All you trying to do right now
is bust off this first night.
1599
01:17:35,889 --> 01:17:38,309
You got a whole lot of semen
back up in you.
1600
01:17:38,385 --> 01:17:39,496
I am going to tell her.
1601
01:17:39,570 --> 01:17:41,325
- You should totally tell her, man.
- I'm going to.
1602
01:17:41,394 --> 01:17:43,531
'Cause I watched this movie
called Liar Liar...
1603
01:17:43,602 --> 01:17:46,154
and the message was, "Don't lie. "
1604
01:17:46,227 --> 01:17:47,851
And that was a smart movie.
1605
01:17:47,923 --> 01:17:49,351
- Yeah, that's the right thing.
- Yeah.
1606
01:17:50,066 --> 01:17:53,840
Really? All your girlfriends
wanted to have sex with virgins, too?
1607
01:17:54,483 --> 01:17:57,930
That's funny. I didn't even know
you girls talked like that.
1608
01:17:58,547 --> 01:18:01,546
I think my first time
might be your best time, too.
1609
01:18:02,356 --> 01:18:03,696
Well, I knew it.
You know what...
1610
01:18:03,764 --> 01:18:06,698
I knew that you'd react that way
and I knew that...
1611
01:18:06,965 --> 01:18:11,241
you would want to lead me through
my first sexual encounter...
1612
01:18:11,540 --> 01:18:15,849
with all the compassion
and care that someone...
1613
01:18:16,117 --> 01:18:17,676
would give to their soul mate.
1614
01:18:17,749 --> 01:18:19,536
Oh, my God. I'm in trouble.
1615
01:18:22,645 --> 01:18:23,789
Hey, Andy.
1616
01:18:24,246 --> 01:18:25,805
You watching Survivor tonight?
1617
01:18:25,877 --> 01:18:28,243
No, actually I'm going out to dinner
with somebody.
1618
01:18:28,309 --> 01:18:29,201
Hi.
1619
01:18:29,686 --> 01:18:30,667
This is her.
1620
01:18:30,742 --> 01:18:32,683
- Trish, this is Joe and Sara.
- Hi.
1621
01:18:32,758 --> 01:18:34,033
- Hi, Trish.
- Hey.
1622
01:18:34,103 --> 01:18:35,563
But tape it for me, okay?
1623
01:18:35,638 --> 01:18:37,262
- Will do. All right.
- Thanks.
1624
01:18:37,335 --> 01:18:38,414
- So long.
- Bye-bye.
1625
01:18:38,487 --> 01:18:40,111
- See you later.
- Have a good night.
1626
01:18:40,183 --> 01:18:42,484
Yeah, my man's gonna get it on tonight.
1627
01:18:42,552 --> 01:18:43,499
Yes, sir.
1628
01:18:43,576 --> 01:18:45,996
Yeah, and you better get on me, too.
1629
01:18:46,295 --> 01:18:48,116
What is wrong with this woman?
1630
01:18:48,184 --> 01:18:49,328
Mercy, mercy, mercy.
1631
01:18:55,448 --> 01:18:57,072
I'm so sorry that happened
the other night.
1632
01:18:57,145 --> 01:18:58,126
No, I'm sorry.
1633
01:18:58,201 --> 01:18:59,825
- Oh, my God.
- That was me.
1634
01:18:59,897 --> 01:19:00,844
No.
1635
01:19:01,530 --> 01:19:04,114
Let me...
I have something I want to tell you.
1636
01:19:04,985 --> 01:19:06,839
Kind of hard to talk about.
1637
01:19:07,769 --> 01:19:08,716
But...
1638
01:19:09,434 --> 01:19:12,335
you know, there are certain things...
1639
01:19:12,667 --> 01:19:14,935
about who I am that...
1640
01:19:15,418 --> 01:19:18,286
I'm sorry.
I just have to get this off my chest.
1641
01:19:18,363 --> 01:19:20,947
I am so sorry,
I didn't tell you I had kids.
1642
01:19:21,659 --> 01:19:23,414
Yeah, what was that about?
1643
01:19:23,482 --> 01:19:25,750
Gosh. You know,
that really surprised me.
1644
01:19:28,507 --> 01:19:30,361
No, you should have
told me probably, but...
1645
01:19:30,428 --> 01:19:31,375
I'm sorry. I know.
1646
01:19:31,452 --> 01:19:33,458
What do I care if you have a kid?
1647
01:19:33,916 --> 01:19:35,508
Well, I have two kids.
1648
01:19:36,349 --> 01:19:38,650
Wow. Okay.
How old are they?
1649
01:19:39,612 --> 01:19:40,625
Six.
1650
01:19:41,340 --> 01:19:42,516
Sixteen.
1651
01:19:42,973 --> 01:19:44,281
Twenty-one.
1652
01:19:45,116 --> 01:19:46,391
Forty-two.
1653
01:19:47,261 --> 01:19:49,115
Fifty-six.
How many kids do you have?
1654
01:19:49,181 --> 01:19:50,936
- I have three.
- Okay, three.
1655
01:19:51,006 --> 01:19:52,914
Yeah, and one of them
has a kid.
1656
01:19:52,990 --> 01:19:54,233
A one-year-old.
1657
01:19:54,559 --> 01:19:56,216
That's cool. That's great.
1658
01:19:58,142 --> 01:20:01,490
- I'm really glad we're doing this.
- Me, too.
1659
01:20:05,695 --> 01:20:07,155
Listen, Andy...
1660
01:20:07,551 --> 01:20:10,419
I don't want to send you running
for the hills or anything, but...
1661
01:20:10,495 --> 01:20:15,001
I really feel like if we decide to
do this again, then...
1662
01:20:17,055 --> 01:20:20,153
maybe we should hold off
on the physical part for a while.
1663
01:20:21,984 --> 01:20:24,219
That is a fantastic idea.
1664
01:20:24,992 --> 01:20:26,398
Why didn't I think of that?
1665
01:20:26,465 --> 01:20:27,641
- Really?
- Totally.
1666
01:20:27,713 --> 01:20:30,876
- No sex?
- No. Why do that?
1667
01:20:30,945 --> 01:20:32,667
Because here's the thing.
1668
01:20:32,801 --> 01:20:33,945
From personal experience...
1669
01:20:34,017 --> 01:20:36,601
I found that sex can really
complicate things.
1670
01:20:36,673 --> 01:20:39,607
And what we should be doing right now
is getting to know each other.
1671
01:20:39,682 --> 01:20:40,663
Yeah.
1672
01:20:41,026 --> 01:20:42,934
Well, I never thought
you'd go for it.
1673
01:20:43,010 --> 01:20:44,285
I'm going for it.
1674
01:20:44,354 --> 01:20:47,222
Well, that just is a great,
great notion.
1675
01:20:48,131 --> 01:20:49,177
Are you serious?
1676
01:20:49,251 --> 01:20:51,933
Look at my face.
Look at how serious I am.
1677
01:20:52,226 --> 01:20:53,883
Can you see my nostrils?
1678
01:20:53,955 --> 01:20:55,677
- Yes.
- That's serious.
1679
01:20:55,971 --> 01:20:57,344
That's more angry.
1680
01:20:57,731 --> 01:20:59,868
Yeah, you know what,
most guys would be saying:
1681
01:20:59,940 --> 01:21:03,038
"Yeah," right now, but, like,
by the third date, it would be:
1682
01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:06,490
"Hey, baby, I really need to
physically express how I feel"...
1683
01:21:06,565 --> 01:21:08,833
- ... and all that stuff.
- Well, hey, baby...
1684
01:21:08,900 --> 01:21:11,866
you know, three dates...
Make it 10, 10 dates.
1685
01:21:13,669 --> 01:21:14,912
How about 15?
1686
01:21:14,981 --> 01:21:18,558
Fifteen. Screw your 15.
20 dates.
1687
01:21:18,821 --> 01:21:20,794
- Okay, 20 dates.
- Twenty dates.
1688
01:21:21,221 --> 01:21:23,325
- Okay.
- This is genius.
1689
01:21:23,686 --> 01:21:24,994
It's gonna hurt.
1690
01:21:26,918 --> 01:21:28,804
Not as much as you think.
1691
01:21:30,470 --> 01:21:32,509
We can really get to know
each other this way.
1692
01:21:32,583 --> 01:21:33,530
Yeah.
1693
01:21:33,958 --> 01:21:36,412
- This is one, right?
- No, next one.
1694
01:21:42,120 --> 01:21:43,974
Is it safe to come in,
or are you guys doing it?
1695
01:21:44,040 --> 01:21:45,632
Honey, it's safe.
1696
01:21:48,007 --> 01:21:48,988
Great.
1697
01:21:49,063 --> 01:21:50,655
Well, good timing.
1698
01:21:50,983 --> 01:21:52,607
- Yeah.
- You remember Marla.
1699
01:21:52,680 --> 01:21:55,494
- Hi, we met.
- And this is my little bunny rabbit.
1700
01:21:55,561 --> 01:21:56,934
- Julia.
- Hey.
1701
01:21:57,000 --> 01:21:59,268
- This is Andy.
- Julia, how you doing?
1702
01:22:00,201 --> 01:22:03,615
You know what,
do you by any chance like magic?
1703
01:22:04,072 --> 01:22:06,460
- Yeah.
- I thought that you might.
1704
01:22:06,537 --> 01:22:07,965
Because I noticed on the way in...
1705
01:22:08,041 --> 01:22:10,528
that you had something shiny
behind your ear.
1706
01:22:10,602 --> 01:22:12,935
Marla, did you see that?
Something behind her ear?
1707
01:22:13,002 --> 01:22:14,430
You think you do?
Could I check?
1708
01:22:14,506 --> 01:22:16,709
Do you mind if I check
behind your ear?
1709
01:22:16,939 --> 01:22:18,247
Big money!
1710
01:22:19,627 --> 01:22:22,179
- That's amazing.
- Wow, it is amazing.
1711
01:22:22,251 --> 01:22:24,257
There's something else, too,
behind your ear, I think.
1712
01:22:24,331 --> 01:22:26,883
No, actually it's not behind your ear.
I think it is your ear.
1713
01:22:26,955 --> 01:22:27,902
Rip!
1714
01:22:27,979 --> 01:22:31,294
It is your ear.
There is your ear.
1715
01:22:31,372 --> 01:22:32,647
I ripped it off.
1716
01:22:32,716 --> 01:22:34,176
- Gross!
- Yeah, that's...
1717
01:22:34,252 --> 01:22:37,251
All right. Wait.
Okay, but that means that you...
1718
01:22:37,324 --> 01:22:40,170
walk around with a rubber ear
in your pocket all day?
1719
01:22:40,972 --> 01:22:42,629
Yeah, like half the time.
1720
01:22:42,892 --> 01:22:44,679
You know, I can come
to your high school...
1721
01:22:44,748 --> 01:22:46,634
and do it for your friends
if you want.
1722
01:22:46,701 --> 01:22:48,456
You know what, I should head out.
1723
01:22:48,525 --> 01:22:49,800
- Really?
- Yeah.
1724
01:22:49,869 --> 01:22:51,690
I have to give you a ride home.
1725
01:22:51,758 --> 01:22:52,934
Right. Yes, you do.
1726
01:22:53,006 --> 01:22:55,143
Yeah, 'cause you don't have
a car or anything, right?
1727
01:22:55,214 --> 01:22:56,707
Right, I don't have a car.
1728
01:22:56,782 --> 01:22:59,301
'Cause he doesn't have a car,
and he does magic.
1729
01:22:59,630 --> 01:23:00,643
Awesome.
1730
01:23:00,846 --> 01:23:03,333
And sarcasm is like
a second language to me.
1731
01:23:03,406 --> 01:23:05,379
So, I'm right there with you.
1732
01:23:08,367 --> 01:23:09,707
But, Dad...
1733
01:23:10,416 --> 01:23:13,579
I don't know how to love.
1734
01:23:14,416 --> 01:23:15,876
You never...
1735
01:23:15,951 --> 01:23:19,812
taught me how...
1736
01:23:23,024 --> 01:23:24,811
- Hello.
- Hey, Cal.
1737
01:23:24,976 --> 01:23:27,113
- Hey.
- I just got back from a date.
1738
01:23:27,185 --> 01:23:29,191
Did you tell her
you're a virgin?
1739
01:23:29,553 --> 01:23:31,592
No. I haven't gotten to that yet.
1740
01:23:31,665 --> 01:23:33,769
Really?
Are you having sex right now?
1741
01:23:33,968 --> 01:23:36,072
No. She was incredible.
1742
01:23:36,401 --> 01:23:38,604
She was amazing.
She didn't pressure me.
1743
01:23:38,673 --> 01:23:41,541
And she has three kids.
1744
01:23:41,618 --> 01:23:43,526
And one of her kids has a kid.
1745
01:23:45,683 --> 01:23:46,892
You all right?
1746
01:23:47,314 --> 01:23:51,404
Did you just say she has three kids,
one of whom has a kid?
1747
01:23:51,475 --> 01:23:53,808
- Yeah.
- So, so, she's a grandma?
1748
01:23:54,003 --> 01:23:54,950
No.
1749
01:23:55,027 --> 01:23:56,717
I'm not a doctor
or anything like that...
1750
01:23:56,787 --> 01:23:58,858
but she's a fucking grandma.
1751
01:23:59,668 --> 01:24:01,194
Yeah, whatever, you know.
1752
01:24:01,268 --> 01:24:02,608
She's the hottest grandma
I ever saw.
1753
01:24:02,676 --> 01:24:04,049
Yeah, she is.
She's a hot grandma.
1754
01:24:04,116 --> 01:24:06,733
That's a good-looking grandma.
My grandma looks like Jack Palance.
1755
01:24:06,805 --> 01:24:07,786
Well, she's no Jack Palance.
1756
01:24:07,861 --> 01:24:09,518
No. If Jack Palance
looked like that lady...
1757
01:24:09,587 --> 01:24:11,473
I would want to
fuck Jack Palance right now.
1758
01:24:11,540 --> 01:24:12,521
Yeah, me, too.
1759
01:24:13,076 --> 01:24:14,155
She's a hot grandma.
1760
01:24:14,229 --> 01:24:16,016
Heck, yeah.
No, do a grandma, man.
1761
01:24:16,085 --> 01:24:18,767
You should fuck her
on her plastic-covered couch.
1762
01:24:19,509 --> 01:24:21,450
Fuck her while she watches
Murder, She Wrote.
1763
01:24:21,525 --> 01:24:23,051
She would probably find that
very erotic.
1764
01:24:23,126 --> 01:24:24,302
Yeah, whatever, you know.
1765
01:24:24,374 --> 01:24:27,722
Fuck her and then have her send you
a check for $12 on your birthday.
1766
01:24:28,374 --> 01:24:30,544
I'm the dude with the hot granny.
1767
01:24:31,862 --> 01:24:33,552
What did you want to talk to me about?
1768
01:24:33,622 --> 01:24:35,279
Well, Andy, the numbers just came in...
1769
01:24:35,351 --> 01:24:38,896
and you are by far our best salesman.
1770
01:24:39,255 --> 01:24:41,523
So, I am promoting you
to floor manager.
1771
01:24:41,912 --> 01:24:43,667
This is the bullshit of all bullshits!
1772
01:24:43,736 --> 01:24:45,622
You scumbag! Ass kisser!
1773
01:24:47,863 --> 01:24:49,487
Thank you. That's great.
1774
01:24:49,815 --> 01:24:53,392
- I understand you have a girlfriend.
- Yeah, kind of seeing somebody.
1775
01:24:53,816 --> 01:24:56,335
- I'm very happy for you.
- Thanks. She's great.
1776
01:24:56,473 --> 01:24:58,032
Are you still a virgin?
1777
01:24:59,097 --> 01:25:00,503
You know, I don't really...
1778
01:25:00,570 --> 01:25:02,391
- ... talk about my personal life.
- You're a virgin.
1779
01:25:02,457 --> 01:25:03,765
- Yes, I am.
- Yeah.
1780
01:25:05,081 --> 01:25:06,738
My door is always open.
1781
01:25:07,321 --> 01:25:09,043
- So to speak.
- Great.
1782
01:25:10,489 --> 01:25:11,797
Great. Thank you.
1783
01:25:12,282 --> 01:25:14,168
I'm very discreet.
1784
01:25:16,858 --> 01:25:19,191
But I'll haunt your dreams.
1785
01:25:21,019 --> 01:25:22,327
- Okay.
- Okay.
1786
01:25:27,451 --> 01:25:28,791
Wow.
1787
01:25:30,588 --> 01:25:34,482
- So who's gonna take my job?
- Cal will be taking over your job.
1788
01:25:34,556 --> 01:25:36,311
And he's interviewing people
right now...
1789
01:25:36,380 --> 01:25:37,623
for his old job.
1790
01:25:37,693 --> 01:25:39,634
So, have you ever worked
with electronics before?
1791
01:25:39,709 --> 01:25:40,788
- No.
- No?
1792
01:25:41,020 --> 01:25:44,118
But I have electronics in my home.
1793
01:25:45,148 --> 01:25:48,944
Perfect. That's the job pretty much.
You're very well-qualified.
1794
01:25:49,565 --> 01:25:51,025
More than these other losers.
1795
01:25:52,510 --> 01:25:55,062
- I could do that...
- Wait, last thing.
1796
01:25:55,134 --> 01:25:57,075
I'm also gonna need that
extended warranty on it...
1797
01:25:57,150 --> 01:25:59,385
for the price of "on the house. "
1798
01:26:01,278 --> 01:26:02,521
That I can't do.
1799
01:26:02,590 --> 01:26:05,174
Hey, don't be a Negro. Be my nigger.
All right? Help me out.
1800
01:26:05,247 --> 01:26:07,220
Hold up.
I ain't nobody's nigger.
1801
01:26:08,159 --> 01:26:10,809
I mean, you're somebody's nigger
wearing this nigger tie.
1802
01:26:10,879 --> 01:26:12,339
Now you being condescending.
1803
01:26:12,416 --> 01:26:15,764
See, you've been warned, all right?
Just move forward amicably.
1804
01:26:15,840 --> 01:26:17,148
Okay. Well, check this out.
1805
01:26:17,215 --> 01:26:19,221
First of all, you're throwing
too many big words at me.
1806
01:26:19,296 --> 01:26:20,920
Okay, now because
I don't understand them...
1807
01:26:20,992 --> 01:26:22,398
I'm gonna take them as disrespect.
1808
01:26:22,464 --> 01:26:24,732
Watch your mouth,
and help me with the sale.
1809
01:26:24,801 --> 01:26:27,385
Okay, see,
now you found yourself a nigger.
1810
01:26:27,457 --> 01:26:30,173
You were looking for a nigger?
Nigger here now. See?
1811
01:26:30,241 --> 01:26:33,404
Today's forecast:
Dark and cloudy, and chance of drive-by.
1812
01:26:33,601 --> 01:26:35,509
- You want to go?
- I suggest you move back.
1813
01:26:35,585 --> 01:26:37,144
Then, nig, fire on.
1814
01:26:37,217 --> 01:26:38,460
What are we gonna do?
1815
01:26:38,977 --> 01:26:41,627
What are you gonna do,
Mr. Floor Manager?
1816
01:26:42,978 --> 01:26:44,154
Go, get them, tiger.
1817
01:26:44,226 --> 01:26:45,818
This shit just got rigged.
1818
01:26:45,890 --> 01:26:47,711
- What are you gonna do, bitch?
- I'll tell you what.
1819
01:26:47,779 --> 01:26:49,633
You know Luca Perry from 20th and 25th?
1820
01:26:49,699 --> 01:26:51,421
You ever heard of, Rolling 20s, nigger?
1821
01:26:51,491 --> 01:26:53,759
Since I was 16, nigger,
I'm saying "frosty. "
1822
01:26:53,826 --> 01:26:55,418
You know what I'm saying,
"spoon", nigger.
1823
01:26:55,490 --> 01:26:57,082
We fucked dwarfs in the ass.
1824
01:26:57,155 --> 01:26:59,009
Nigger, this dwarf here
don't got to be tall...
1825
01:26:59,075 --> 01:27:00,797
to pull the trigger off
in somebody face!
1826
01:27:00,868 --> 01:27:03,005
- Come on nigger, back up.
- What's up? Hey...
1827
01:27:03,076 --> 01:27:04,252
Welcome to Smart Tech.
1828
01:27:04,324 --> 01:27:05,664
- Is this your boy?
- What can I help you with?
1829
01:27:05,733 --> 01:27:07,357
Yeah, nigger, we will both mash you!
1830
01:27:07,428 --> 01:27:09,085
- How can we help you, sir?
- Nigger, what?
1831
01:27:09,157 --> 01:27:11,425
No, he don't need no help.
He's already been served.
1832
01:27:11,492 --> 01:27:14,240
I served him. He's taken care of.
He's a little slow, but he got it.
1833
01:27:14,309 --> 01:27:16,893
See, what he thought was he can come up
in here and make the rules.
1834
01:27:16,965 --> 01:27:19,266
But now he see that Jay make the moves
at Smart Tech...
1835
01:27:19,333 --> 01:27:22,081
that I run this, bitch
and now he bought the bounce.
1836
01:27:23,398 --> 01:27:24,509
This your boy?
1837
01:27:24,646 --> 01:27:27,066
Yeah, that's my boy.
We represent Smart Tech.
1838
01:27:27,142 --> 01:27:28,548
You just got fucked up with him.
1839
01:27:28,615 --> 01:27:31,035
Both y'all niggers going
get clapped up when I get back.
1840
01:27:32,038 --> 01:27:33,247
Both of you all niggers.
1841
01:27:33,318 --> 01:27:35,357
- What did I do?
- It don't fucking matter!
1842
01:27:35,591 --> 01:27:38,656
Yeah, aim high, Willis.
Aim high!
1843
01:27:38,727 --> 01:27:40,133
Please don't do this.
1844
01:27:40,935 --> 01:27:42,843
Jay, what's going on?
1845
01:27:44,936 --> 01:27:46,211
Jill broke up with me.
1846
01:27:46,280 --> 01:27:48,668
I'm so sorry.
What happened?
1847
01:27:48,903 --> 01:27:50,909
I came home a little tipsy.
1848
01:27:51,175 --> 01:27:53,476
And I had one of my condoms
on still.
1849
01:27:55,432 --> 01:27:58,562
Woke up the next morning
and jumped in the shower with her.
1850
01:27:59,209 --> 01:28:01,150
I don't know what I was thinking.
1851
01:28:01,225 --> 01:28:02,304
Why did you cheat on her?
1852
01:28:02,378 --> 01:28:04,581
Because I'm insecure!
You can't tell?
1853
01:28:04,650 --> 01:28:06,951
I know, man.
It's gonna be okay.
1854
01:28:07,017 --> 01:28:09,056
- I'm cold.
- It's gonna be all right, man.
1855
01:28:09,129 --> 01:28:10,688
Seriously, man, I'm sorry.
1856
01:28:10,985 --> 01:28:12,642
I apologize to you. I know.
1857
01:28:12,714 --> 01:28:14,469
If you wanna have
a meaningful relationship...
1858
01:28:14,538 --> 01:28:16,675
you've got to leave the sex out of it,
man. You're right.
1859
01:28:16,746 --> 01:28:17,890
It's all right. You're good.
1860
01:28:17,962 --> 01:28:19,717
I'm sorry. Come here.
I love you, man.
1861
01:28:19,787 --> 01:28:21,215
Man, I love you, too.
1862
01:28:22,379 --> 01:28:23,971
You're a good guy.
1863
01:28:26,027 --> 01:28:28,360
Do you know how I know
you guys are gay?
1864
01:28:28,427 --> 01:28:30,760
You're holding each other
ever so gently.
1865
01:28:30,828 --> 01:28:31,775
Cabron.
1866
01:28:38,028 --> 01:28:39,074
Bravo.
1867
01:28:39,532 --> 01:28:41,058
At least he can cook, Mom.
1868
01:28:45,069 --> 01:28:47,588
I love... Spiderman.
1869
01:29:00,334 --> 01:29:02,504
Pull out slowly and go straight ahead.
1870
01:29:29,937 --> 01:29:31,048
I'm all right.
1871
01:29:31,537 --> 01:29:32,616
Nobody's there.
1872
01:29:32,785 --> 01:29:34,955
I want to know everything about you.
1873
01:29:35,026 --> 01:29:36,039
I want to tell you.
1874
01:29:36,113 --> 01:29:37,094
- You do?
- Yeah.
1875
01:29:37,169 --> 01:29:39,885
Like, what do you want to do?
What are your dreams?
1876
01:29:40,273 --> 01:29:43,087
You don't wanna work at Smart Tech
for the rest of your life.
1877
01:29:43,697 --> 01:29:45,703
I've been working there
for a long time.
1878
01:29:45,778 --> 01:29:49,323
And I've been thinking lately
that maybe I should open my own store.
1879
01:29:49,587 --> 01:29:50,600
- Really?
- Yeah.
1880
01:29:50,675 --> 01:29:53,969
- What kind of store?
- Well, like a stereo store.
1881
01:29:54,035 --> 01:29:56,303
Oh, my God, that is...
Why don't you do that?
1882
01:29:56,371 --> 01:29:57,963
I don't have enough money
to do that.
1883
01:29:58,035 --> 01:29:59,441
What about those collectibles?
1884
01:29:59,508 --> 01:30:01,678
I bet if you sold those,
you could make a lot of money.
1885
01:30:01,747 --> 01:30:05,423
I just sold a guy's G. I. Joe
for $1,000.
1886
01:30:05,748 --> 01:30:07,176
- Really?
- Do you have any of those?
1887
01:30:07,252 --> 01:30:08,331
- Yeah.
- You do?
1888
01:30:08,405 --> 01:30:09,418
I have 47 of them.
1889
01:30:09,493 --> 01:30:10,637
No, you don't.
1890
01:30:10,709 --> 01:30:12,617
- Yeah, in their original boxes.
- You do?
1891
01:30:12,692 --> 01:30:14,698
I could help you sell them on eBay.
1892
01:30:14,773 --> 01:30:17,739
I would not take a commission,
I swear to God.
1893
01:30:17,813 --> 01:30:20,747
You could do it.
You could totally pull it off.
1894
01:30:22,165 --> 01:30:24,106
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Let's do it.
1895
01:30:41,527 --> 01:30:42,671
Aquaman.
1896
01:30:43,095 --> 01:30:44,141
Here.
1897
01:30:44,599 --> 01:30:45,907
Clothes on.
1898
01:30:47,640 --> 01:30:49,461
I'll send you off to...
1899
01:30:50,488 --> 01:30:53,302
a farm with lots of land.
1900
01:30:53,368 --> 01:30:56,050
So, you and other Aquamen
can run around...
1901
01:30:57,113 --> 01:30:59,479
and play in the Aquafields.
1902
01:31:09,273 --> 01:31:11,214
Godspeed, Col. Steve Austin.
1903
01:31:13,562 --> 01:31:15,895
You don't wanna go, do you?
Okay, you can stay.
1904
01:31:15,963 --> 01:31:17,750
Steve Austin can stay.
1905
01:31:21,563 --> 01:31:22,991
Hey, Cal. David.
1906
01:31:23,195 --> 01:31:25,299
Way to sell a big TV.
1907
01:31:25,370 --> 01:31:26,830
She likes you, man.
1908
01:31:27,034 --> 01:31:28,942
Too bad I retired my penis.
1909
01:31:29,243 --> 01:31:32,308
Mooj, we try to be fair with
the schedule but it's hard.
1910
01:31:32,476 --> 01:31:35,858
Okay, but why every damn schedule
comes up, I get most early shift?
1911
01:31:35,932 --> 01:31:38,680
It's bullshit. Nobody buys stereo
at 10:00 in the morning.
1912
01:31:38,749 --> 01:31:39,762
No, I understand.
1913
01:31:39,837 --> 01:31:42,651
People buy stereo
between 6:00 and 8:00.
1914
01:31:42,716 --> 01:31:43,663
Mmm-hmm.
1915
01:31:43,740 --> 01:31:47,055
Rich men get off work, then buy stereo.
1916
01:31:47,133 --> 01:31:49,553
- Right.
- Not after fucking brunch.
1917
01:31:49,629 --> 01:31:51,188
Okay.
Here's what we're gonna do.
1918
01:31:51,261 --> 01:31:53,748
I'm going to give you
a couple of Jay's shifts.
1919
01:31:53,854 --> 01:31:56,373
And then I'll give you
a couple of mine and that way...
1920
01:31:56,446 --> 01:31:59,478
- ... we'll all be equal, okay.
- Thank you, Andy.
1921
01:31:59,775 --> 01:32:00,854
It's okay.
1922
01:32:01,245 --> 01:32:02,738
You're a good man, Andy.
1923
01:32:04,830 --> 01:32:07,611
By the way,
what date are you on, now?
1924
01:32:07,999 --> 01:32:10,486
I think it's around 17.
1925
01:32:10,559 --> 01:32:13,209
It's hard to tell what actually
constitutes a date, though.
1926
01:32:13,279 --> 01:32:16,988
Three to go. So that means
you're gonna have sex in three days.
1927
01:32:17,665 --> 01:32:19,966
Maybe, I might try to space them out
a little bit.
1928
01:32:20,032 --> 01:32:22,452
- I'll pray for your cock.
- Okay, thanks.
1929
01:32:22,656 --> 01:32:24,629
- Thanks. Thank you.
- Have a good cocky.
1930
01:32:24,800 --> 01:32:27,287
Trish is on the phone.
Here is a shock.
1931
01:32:27,361 --> 01:32:29,247
- Girlfriend with a problem.
- Hello.
1932
01:32:29,505 --> 01:32:31,642
I have done everything but sex!
1933
01:32:31,713 --> 01:32:34,079
I'm a woman, okay?
Deal with it!
1934
01:32:34,145 --> 01:32:36,151
I'm gonna start
taking you back to church.
1935
01:32:36,226 --> 01:32:38,112
We are gonna start going to church.
1936
01:32:38,178 --> 01:32:39,606
- Hello?
- You know what?
1937
01:32:39,682 --> 01:32:40,957
What the hell are you talking about?
1938
01:32:41,025 --> 01:32:43,577
Oh, my God, I cannot believe this.
Thank God you're here.
1939
01:32:43,650 --> 01:32:46,496
Jesus Christ.
Marla locked herself in the bathroom.
1940
01:32:46,563 --> 01:32:47,510
What happened?
1941
01:32:47,586 --> 01:32:49,308
She wants to go
to the family health clinic.
1942
01:32:49,379 --> 01:32:51,320
She wants birth control.
But she's too young.
1943
01:32:51,395 --> 01:32:54,460
I want to have sex with my boyfriend!
But I can't, Mom!
1944
01:32:54,532 --> 01:32:55,741
So, you want me to take her?
1945
01:32:55,811 --> 01:32:57,817
- No, I don't want you to take her.
- Okay, all right.
1946
01:32:57,891 --> 01:33:00,607
I want her to keep it in her pants
until she gets to college.
1947
01:33:00,675 --> 01:33:01,688
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1948
01:33:01,764 --> 01:33:02,973
"Keep it in my pants"?
1949
01:33:03,043 --> 01:33:05,562
Okay, you didn't keep it
in your pants, Mom.
1950
01:33:05,636 --> 01:33:08,951
I know. I don't want you to make
the same mistakes as me, Marla.
1951
01:33:09,029 --> 01:33:11,930
Mistakes? Okay,
so I was a mistake then.
1952
01:33:12,005 --> 01:33:15,779
No, you're not a mistake.
Your sister was the mistake.
1953
01:33:16,453 --> 01:33:17,881
Oh, my God!
1954
01:33:18,277 --> 01:33:20,993
Her older sister, I mean,
she wasn't planned, you know what I mean?
1955
01:33:21,061 --> 01:33:23,481
Because I was such a...
Oh, God, you wanna run away, don't you?
1956
01:33:23,557 --> 01:33:24,570
No.
1957
01:33:24,646 --> 01:33:27,362
You and your boyfriend
have sex all the time!
1958
01:33:27,430 --> 01:33:29,087
Oh, my God!
Are you kidding?
1959
01:33:29,159 --> 01:33:30,914
We never have sex.
Do we ever have sex?
1960
01:33:30,983 --> 01:33:32,258
No, we don't.
1961
01:33:32,518 --> 01:33:34,273
What? Yes, you do!
1962
01:33:34,342 --> 01:33:36,894
You're such a liar!
Why do you lie to me?
1963
01:33:36,966 --> 01:33:37,947
Why?
1964
01:33:41,383 --> 01:33:43,269
I didn't hear anything
after "a liar. "
1965
01:33:43,335 --> 01:33:46,051
- What did she say after "a liar"?
- She sounds like a tea kettle.
1966
01:33:46,120 --> 01:33:47,941
Fuck you!
1967
01:33:50,151 --> 01:33:52,539
- Maybe I should take her.
- No, I don't think so.
1968
01:33:52,615 --> 01:33:54,948
You know, a little information
never hurt anybody.
1969
01:34:08,426 --> 01:34:09,439
Cool.
1970
01:34:10,473 --> 01:34:11,486
Wow!
1971
01:34:13,866 --> 01:34:15,872
Where do you put the penis?
1972
01:34:16,746 --> 01:34:18,021
Oh, shit.
1973
01:34:28,011 --> 01:34:29,603
It is...
1974
01:34:30,411 --> 01:34:31,937
not a Rubik's Cube.
1975
01:34:34,507 --> 01:34:35,454
Shit.
1976
01:34:37,132 --> 01:34:39,138
God, how much longer
are they gonna make us wait?
1977
01:34:39,212 --> 01:34:41,632
I don't know. They should be
out in a second.
1978
01:34:42,061 --> 01:34:43,074
Now, you're all here...
1979
01:34:43,149 --> 01:34:45,450
because you're interested
in obtaining birth control.
1980
01:34:45,517 --> 01:34:46,726
Any questions?
1981
01:34:47,309 --> 01:34:49,544
Here's a cute story.
I came home the other day...
1982
01:34:49,613 --> 01:34:52,481
and he is with his girlfriend
in my marital bed...
1983
01:34:52,557 --> 01:34:55,371
doing things that are illegal
in Alabama.
1984
01:34:55,502 --> 01:34:58,665
Sex acts, right?
Things that my wife won't do, okay?
1985
01:34:59,086 --> 01:35:01,802
- Did you have a question?
- How do I get my wife to do that?
1986
01:35:01,902 --> 01:35:03,242
Does anybody else have a question?
1987
01:35:03,310 --> 01:35:06,505
My daughter is,
for lack of a better word...
1988
01:35:06,894 --> 01:35:07,940
dumb.
1989
01:35:08,206 --> 01:35:10,310
How do I stop her menstrual cycle?
1990
01:35:10,383 --> 01:35:12,553
You want her to stop
having a menstrual cycle?
1991
01:35:12,623 --> 01:35:15,142
I want to stop it,
maybe just for a few years.
1992
01:35:15,216 --> 01:35:17,353
Yeah, I don't think
that's a good idea.
1993
01:35:17,424 --> 01:35:20,390
- Does anybody else have a question?
- I have a question.
1994
01:35:20,464 --> 01:35:24,140
I think some of the people
here might be sexually inexperienced.
1995
01:35:24,720 --> 01:35:27,654
Is it true that if you don't use it,
you lose it?
1996
01:35:28,016 --> 01:35:29,575
Is that a serious question?
1997
01:35:29,649 --> 01:35:31,208
- No. It wasn't.
- Okay.
1998
01:35:31,793 --> 01:35:35,272
Now, there are a lot of activities
that you can engage in...
1999
01:35:35,345 --> 01:35:38,061
without having sex
that are both fun and safe.
2000
01:35:38,129 --> 01:35:40,135
What sort of activities?
I think...
2001
01:35:40,209 --> 01:35:42,346
everybody wants to know
about the activities.
2002
01:35:42,417 --> 01:35:46,791
Well, instead of having intercourse,
you could have outer-course.
2003
01:35:47,250 --> 01:35:49,289
Outer-course?
What's that?
2004
01:35:49,394 --> 01:35:50,702
Yeah, what is that?
2005
01:35:50,771 --> 01:35:54,731
Outer-course is anything
that isn't vaginal intercourse.
2006
01:35:55,027 --> 01:35:56,935
I prefer vaginal intercourse.
2007
01:35:58,547 --> 01:35:59,790
He really does.
2008
01:36:00,115 --> 01:36:03,529
Now, there are ways of having sex
without intercourse.
2009
01:36:04,628 --> 01:36:07,889
Let's see, there are things
like body rubbing or dry humping.
2010
01:36:07,956 --> 01:36:09,231
You could dry hump.
2011
01:36:09,300 --> 01:36:12,299
- There is masturbation.
- Masturbation. Play with yourself.
2012
01:36:12,373 --> 01:36:14,314
- Mutual masturbation.
- Play with a friend.
2013
01:36:14,388 --> 01:36:17,835
Deep kissing.
There is erotic massage.
2014
01:36:17,909 --> 01:36:19,696
That sounds like it would be nice.
2015
01:36:19,765 --> 01:36:22,252
- Oral sex play.
- Sounds like my Friday night.
2016
01:36:22,326 --> 01:36:24,147
Shut up, Seth.
We went to temple.
2017
01:36:24,213 --> 01:36:25,935
Okay, are there any virgins here...
2018
01:36:26,006 --> 01:36:28,590
who are thinking about
having sex for the first time?
2019
01:36:29,814 --> 01:36:30,761
Oh.
2020
01:36:31,190 --> 01:36:33,229
Wait. So you're a virgin?
2021
01:36:35,702 --> 01:36:38,450
- I'd tap that.
- Oh, yeah, you'd "tap that"?
2022
01:36:38,518 --> 01:36:41,364
Seth, what, you think you're cool
with your little Jew fro?
2023
01:36:41,431 --> 01:36:44,529
We don't say, "tap that. "
What are you talking about, Seth?
2024
01:36:44,600 --> 01:36:46,803
You know what, I'm a virgin, too.
2025
01:36:48,761 --> 01:36:49,840
That's...
2026
01:36:49,913 --> 01:36:51,700
- We're virgins, too.
- Yeah.
2027
01:36:53,560 --> 01:36:56,406
No, you know what,
it's a personal choice...
2028
01:36:56,472 --> 01:36:57,932
and I don't think it's weird at all.
2029
01:36:58,009 --> 01:36:59,218
You know what your problem is?
2030
01:36:59,288 --> 01:37:00,945
You're putting the pussy on a pedestal.
2031
01:37:01,017 --> 01:37:02,674
That's the second time I've heard that.
2032
01:37:02,745 --> 01:37:04,599
What is the "pussy on a pedestal" thing?
2033
01:37:04,666 --> 01:37:08,375
Okay, I can't listen to anymore of this,
'cause it's making me sick.
2034
01:37:08,441 --> 01:37:09,388
So, bye.
2035
01:37:09,465 --> 01:37:11,536
You can get this information
on your website, right?
2036
01:37:11,609 --> 01:37:13,266
- Yes.
- Thanks. Nice meeting everybody.
2037
01:37:13,338 --> 01:37:14,417
Any other questions?
2038
01:37:14,490 --> 01:37:16,344
Do you have any extra-large condoms?
2039
01:37:16,410 --> 01:37:18,165
Seth, you got a tiny penis.
2040
01:37:22,107 --> 01:37:25,106
So, I made that all up to help you out.
2041
01:37:27,099 --> 01:37:28,559
No, you didn't.
2042
01:37:28,795 --> 01:37:31,990
But thank you for doing that.
2043
01:37:34,747 --> 01:37:36,306
How can you tell?
2044
01:37:36,476 --> 01:37:38,809
Well, you know, I go to school
with, like, 400 guys...
2045
01:37:38,877 --> 01:37:40,250
who are all trying to have sex.
2046
01:37:40,316 --> 01:37:42,202
And, yeah, so I can tell who's done it.
2047
01:37:42,269 --> 01:37:43,282
Of course.
2048
01:37:43,357 --> 01:37:46,138
- And you really haven't?
- No, I really haven't.
2049
01:37:46,620 --> 01:37:48,921
Please don't tell your mom,
okay?
2050
01:37:48,989 --> 01:37:50,646
- Yeah, I won't.
- Thanks.
2051
01:37:50,749 --> 01:37:53,781
But when are you gonna tell her?
2052
01:37:53,982 --> 01:37:55,868
Believe me, I'm working on it.
2053
01:37:57,182 --> 01:37:58,839
I am working on it.
2054
01:38:01,727 --> 01:38:02,903
Do you have any weed?
2055
01:38:04,798 --> 01:38:05,974
- Yeah.
- You do have some.
2056
01:38:06,046 --> 01:38:08,085
Can spare any or is it all spoken for?
2057
01:38:08,766 --> 01:38:10,707
I mean, like what are we talking?
Are we...
2058
01:38:10,783 --> 01:38:13,149
Just enough to get me
baked for like a week.
2059
01:38:13,375 --> 01:38:14,388
That's a lot of weed.
2060
01:38:14,463 --> 01:38:16,317
Yeah, I am taking vacation
next week, so...
2061
01:38:16,383 --> 01:38:18,138
- Where are you going?
- I'm not going anywhere.
2062
01:38:18,208 --> 01:38:19,930
- I'll stay in my apartment.
- Just getting baked?
2063
01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:21,428
I want to be baked the whole time.
2064
01:38:21,503 --> 01:38:23,771
Watch TV,
I'll probably re-watch Gandhi.
2065
01:38:24,384 --> 01:38:26,238
- Gandhi baked is good.
- Yes, isn't it?
2066
01:38:26,304 --> 01:38:27,863
I always feel bad
when I watch it baked...
2067
01:38:27,937 --> 01:38:29,791
'cause I get really hungry
and I'm eating a lot...
2068
01:38:29,857 --> 01:38:30,838
and poor Gandhi is...
2069
01:38:30,913 --> 01:38:32,570
- ... fucking starving his ass off.
- Starving, I know.
2070
01:38:36,034 --> 01:38:37,462
- Sounds good.
- Yeah.
2071
01:38:37,538 --> 01:38:40,155
I'm going to take her to capacity.
Are you okay with that?
2072
01:38:40,226 --> 01:38:41,501
Give it a shot.
2073
01:38:41,569 --> 01:38:43,608
Freak! Oh, yeah!
2074
01:38:45,250 --> 01:38:47,769
Michael McDonald, man,
I haven't heard this in years.
2075
01:38:47,842 --> 01:38:49,881
Yeah, I haven't heard it
in like 48 minutes.
2076
01:38:50,594 --> 01:38:53,211
If I get the set,
will you throw in the DVD?
2077
01:38:53,283 --> 01:38:55,453
You don't get the set.
I'll throw in the DVD.
2078
01:38:55,940 --> 01:38:56,953
I'll take it.
2079
01:38:57,026 --> 01:38:58,748
- Really?
- Yeah.
2080
01:38:59,715 --> 01:39:01,819
Y'all want to see something beautiful?
Come here.
2081
01:39:01,891 --> 01:39:04,923
You want to see the most beautiful thing
in the world? Check this out.
2082
01:39:04,995 --> 01:39:08,572
This is my baby right here.
That's my baby's dick right there.
2083
01:39:09,188 --> 01:39:10,845
Looks like a poltergeist.
2084
01:39:11,141 --> 01:39:12,384
That is his foot.
2085
01:39:12,453 --> 01:39:14,688
Look at his dick.
That's not even four months.
2086
01:39:14,757 --> 01:39:16,032
Extrapolate that.
2087
01:39:16,101 --> 01:39:18,369
By the time he's 30,
what's gonna happen?
2088
01:39:18,436 --> 01:39:20,639
Yo, Andy! Come check this out, dawg.
2089
01:39:20,709 --> 01:39:23,163
Is this the movie about babies
that are geniuses?
2090
01:39:23,237 --> 01:39:25,625
No, this is my child, dude.
Jill is pregnant.
2091
01:39:25,702 --> 01:39:26,781
- That's yours?
- Yeah.
2092
01:39:26,854 --> 01:39:28,795
That's why she broke up
with me in the first place...
2093
01:39:28,870 --> 01:39:31,007
'cause she just thought
that I wouldn't be a good father...
2094
01:39:31,078 --> 01:39:33,313
in light of the fact that
I'd be cheating on her all the time.
2095
01:39:33,382 --> 01:39:35,006
But she got over all that.
It's cool now.
2096
01:39:35,078 --> 01:39:36,932
Congratulations, man.
That is great.
2097
01:39:37,190 --> 01:39:38,683
We having a party tonight, Andy...
2098
01:39:38,758 --> 01:39:40,251
and I really want you to be there, man.
2099
01:39:40,327 --> 01:39:42,715
We celebrating and I really,
really want you to be there.
2100
01:39:42,791 --> 01:39:45,179
It looks like the Doppler radar.
2101
01:39:45,256 --> 01:39:46,269
Can you believe that?
2102
01:39:46,344 --> 01:39:47,903
This child ain't even four months old.
2103
01:39:47,976 --> 01:39:50,146
He ain't four months old yet.
Look at what he's packing.
2104
01:39:50,217 --> 01:39:52,637
Everybody dick looks big
on 60-inch TV.
2105
01:39:52,711 --> 01:39:55,165
My sister's dick looks big on TV,
okay?
2106
01:39:56,104 --> 01:39:58,656
Oh, my God, this guy, Eric Gilliland...
2107
01:39:59,112 --> 01:40:01,599
- ... he has bought, like, 15 of these.
- Really?
2108
01:40:01,673 --> 01:40:04,519
Yeah, I think he likes action figures
even more than you.
2109
01:40:04,585 --> 01:40:07,005
- That is impossible.
- I think so.
2110
01:40:07,850 --> 01:40:11,013
Andy, the way these things
are flying off your shelf...
2111
01:40:11,082 --> 01:40:13,928
you know, I think you
could actually make like...
2112
01:40:14,410 --> 01:40:15,903
maybe like $100,000.
2113
01:40:15,978 --> 01:40:18,049
- Really?
- Yeah, you could open your store.
2114
01:40:18,122 --> 01:40:19,462
- Wow.
- Honey...
2115
01:40:19,594 --> 01:40:21,665
- That's a lot of money.
- I know.
2116
01:40:21,739 --> 01:40:24,291
That's incredible.
I wouldn't have done it without you.
2117
01:40:24,363 --> 01:40:25,507
Thanks.
2118
01:40:26,155 --> 01:40:28,837
- And that's not the only good news.
- What?
2119
01:40:29,259 --> 01:40:32,105
- You know what tonight is?
- Survivor is on?
2120
01:40:33,356 --> 01:40:34,816
- No.
- I know.
2121
01:40:35,404 --> 01:40:37,858
Is it The Apprentice?
2122
01:40:38,764 --> 01:40:39,711
No.
2123
01:40:40,460 --> 01:40:41,506
What?
2124
01:40:44,109 --> 01:40:48,265
It's our 20th date.
2125
01:40:54,542 --> 01:40:55,915
- Wow.
- Yeah.
2126
01:40:55,982 --> 01:40:57,257
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
2127
01:40:57,326 --> 01:41:00,489
Seriously?
I think we're at 18.
2128
01:41:00,558 --> 01:41:02,215
'Cause there were
a couple of dates there...
2129
01:41:02,286 --> 01:41:04,073
- ... that don't really count as dates.
- No.
2130
01:41:04,142 --> 01:41:06,694
I'll give you a free pass
on those other ones.
2131
01:41:07,694 --> 01:41:08,805
Thank you.
2132
01:41:08,879 --> 01:41:09,958
- Listen.
- What?
2133
01:41:10,031 --> 01:41:11,207
- Listen.
- Mmm-hmm.
2134
01:41:12,655 --> 01:41:14,214
I really like you.
2135
01:41:19,952 --> 01:41:21,674
I think I'm falling for you.
2136
01:41:22,480 --> 01:41:26,091
I don't know. I kind of see
this going somewhere.
2137
01:41:26,416 --> 01:41:27,560
I do, too.
2138
01:41:27,664 --> 01:41:30,729
I just think we should just
go crazy on each other.
2139
01:41:31,921 --> 01:41:33,829
- Okay.
- Okay?
2140
01:41:34,673 --> 01:41:35,882
Oh, thank God!
2141
01:41:38,578 --> 01:41:39,525
Oh!
2142
01:41:40,177 --> 01:41:42,510
Okay, I should...
I gotta pick those up.
2143
01:41:42,578 --> 01:41:43,657
Don't pick them up now.
2144
01:41:43,730 --> 01:41:45,005
No, I have to pick those up
right now.
2145
01:41:45,074 --> 01:41:47,080
- Wait, we'll get them later.
- Listen, no, I can't, no.
2146
01:41:47,154 --> 01:41:48,713
Listen, it's really important
because...
2147
01:41:48,786 --> 01:41:50,956
once the integrity of the box
gets compromised...
2148
01:41:51,027 --> 01:41:53,230
This is original packaging
and that's why these things...
2149
01:41:53,299 --> 01:41:55,370
are so valuable.
So you don't screw with that.
2150
01:41:55,443 --> 01:41:57,351
- You really don't screw with that.
- All right.
2151
01:41:57,428 --> 01:41:59,401
We can wrap them again later,
you know.
2152
01:41:59,475 --> 01:42:00,783
Yeah, I know.
But you know what...
2153
01:42:00,851 --> 01:42:02,890
this is very important
that we don't lose the value...
2154
01:42:02,963 --> 01:42:04,238
and compromise the integrity of it.
2155
01:42:04,308 --> 01:42:06,445
Andy, I'm throwing myself
at you and...
2156
01:42:06,516 --> 01:42:08,457
all you can think about
is a fucking toy.
2157
01:42:08,532 --> 01:42:11,498
They're not fucking toys!
This is Iron Man, okay?
2158
01:42:11,573 --> 01:42:13,906
I got this when I was in second grade.
2159
01:42:14,101 --> 01:42:16,685
Do you know how hard it is
for a kid to not open that?
2160
01:42:16,757 --> 01:42:17,933
This is important.
2161
01:42:18,005 --> 01:42:19,248
These are my things...
2162
01:42:19,317 --> 01:42:22,480
and you are trying to make me
sell them and I don't want to.
2163
01:42:22,549 --> 01:42:23,824
- No.
- And you're making me.
2164
01:42:23,893 --> 01:42:25,932
- I'm not making...
- You are encouraging me...
2165
01:42:26,005 --> 01:42:28,044
- ... to quit my job.
- I'm not! I'm not trying to...
2166
01:42:28,118 --> 01:42:30,735
You want me to open a store.
You want me to sell everything.
2167
01:42:30,806 --> 01:42:32,496
You know what,
I'm gonna tell you something.
2168
01:42:32,567 --> 01:42:35,566
I don't just change like that.
I can't just change for you.
2169
01:42:35,638 --> 01:42:38,419
I don't... I'm not trying
to change you. I like you.
2170
01:42:38,486 --> 01:42:40,525
I'm just... I'm trying
to help you grow up, Andy.
2171
01:42:40,599 --> 01:42:42,191
Well, thanks a lot.
2172
01:42:42,263 --> 01:42:46,124
I mean, my God, you ride a bicycle
to work in a stockroom.
2173
01:42:46,200 --> 01:42:48,435
You know what, I'm not
in the stockroom anymore.
2174
01:42:48,504 --> 01:42:49,932
- I'm a floor manager.
- Okay.
2175
01:42:50,008 --> 01:42:52,909
And I ride a bike because I like to.
Einstein rode a bike.
2176
01:42:52,984 --> 01:42:55,568
He had a wife who he fucked,
by the way.
2177
01:42:56,216 --> 01:42:58,419
What do I have to do
for you to have sex with me?
2178
01:42:58,489 --> 01:43:00,877
Do you want me to dress up like Thor?
I'll dress up like Thor.
2179
01:43:00,953 --> 01:43:02,479
I'll dress up like Iron Man.
2180
01:43:02,553 --> 01:43:04,210
What do they do?
I'll do it.
2181
01:43:04,281 --> 01:43:06,068
What?
Everything's always about sex.
2182
01:43:06,137 --> 01:43:07,663
Why don't you want to have sex with me?
2183
01:43:07,738 --> 01:43:10,104
Why not? Tell me.
You tell me the truth.
2184
01:43:10,170 --> 01:43:12,274
Is it because I have a kid
who has a kid? Is that why?
2185
01:43:12,345 --> 01:43:13,805
No, it's cool that
you're a grandmother.
2186
01:43:13,882 --> 01:43:15,441
I love the fact
that you're a grandmother.
2187
01:43:15,514 --> 01:43:17,968
- Oh, God!
- You are. You're a hot grandma.
2188
01:43:18,042 --> 01:43:19,153
Oh, my God!
2189
01:43:19,226 --> 01:43:21,232
You are so mean! Get out!
2190
01:43:21,307 --> 01:43:23,924
- Okay, fine. Good!
- Good, fine. You're gonna go.
2191
01:43:23,995 --> 01:43:27,223
- I didn't ask for any of this.
- You asked for all of it, Andy.
2192
01:43:27,611 --> 01:43:28,951
Okay. Great.
2193
01:43:31,899 --> 01:43:32,846
Okay.
2194
01:43:33,211 --> 01:43:34,737
That's the way you want it...
2195
01:43:34,812 --> 01:43:37,626
that's the way homie's gonna play it.
2196
01:43:38,684 --> 01:43:40,276
Yeah. Truth be told.
2197
01:43:57,022 --> 01:43:59,093
Baby, you better
enjoy yourself tonight...
2198
01:43:59,166 --> 01:44:01,401
'cause once this baby's born,
you ain't going out again...
2199
01:44:01,470 --> 01:44:02,451
till that baby is in college.
2200
01:44:02,526 --> 01:44:03,702
- Me?
- Yeah.
2201
01:44:03,775 --> 01:44:06,043
You the club rat. I'm not
the one that be going out.
2202
01:44:06,110 --> 01:44:07,800
I'm not a club rat.
2203
01:44:07,871 --> 01:44:10,488
You're gonna get up,
you march over there...
2204
01:44:10,558 --> 01:44:12,978
and I want you
to hit on Bernadette now.
2205
01:44:13,215 --> 01:44:15,156
Dude, I'm not gonna hit
on Bernadette.
2206
01:44:15,232 --> 01:44:16,311
Yes, you are, man...
2207
01:44:16,383 --> 01:44:18,870
'cause your depression
is boring me for one thing...
2208
01:44:18,944 --> 01:44:20,830
and it's actually making me
a little depressed...
2209
01:44:20,896 --> 01:44:22,782
which is then in turn
making me more depressed...
2210
01:44:22,848 --> 01:44:24,538
that you're actually affecting my mood.
2211
01:44:24,607 --> 01:44:27,835
Look, I'm not in any kind of place
to talk to a woman, all right?
2212
01:44:27,904 --> 01:44:29,975
I'm just... I'm fragile.
2213
01:44:30,112 --> 01:44:31,899
I hired her for you.
2214
01:44:31,969 --> 01:44:35,416
I hired a 90-pound girl
to work in the stockroom at Smart Tech...
2215
01:44:35,489 --> 01:44:36,982
for you, okay?
2216
01:44:37,058 --> 01:44:38,518
I should have hired a 300-pound guy...
2217
01:44:38,594 --> 01:44:40,120
who could lift a 60-inch flat screen.
2218
01:44:40,194 --> 01:44:42,582
But instead I hired a hot girl...
2219
01:44:42,657 --> 01:44:45,885
who can't lift an iPod
to bring you out of your funk.
2220
01:44:46,658 --> 01:44:48,118
- You hired her for me?
- Yes.
2221
01:44:48,195 --> 01:44:49,568
So will you go talk to her?
2222
01:44:49,634 --> 01:44:51,356
Yeah, I'm meeting somebody.
2223
01:44:51,523 --> 01:44:52,470
No.
2224
01:44:55,972 --> 01:44:58,011
- Did you just flick me in the nuts?
- No.
2225
01:44:58,084 --> 01:45:00,985
Flicked you in the fleshy patch
where your nuts used to be.
2226
01:45:02,115 --> 01:45:03,837
Quit flicking my balls, man.
2227
01:45:03,908 --> 01:45:06,328
Okay, I'll stop flicking your balls.
2228
01:45:06,436 --> 01:45:08,737
But I'll start punching your nuts.
2229
01:45:09,636 --> 01:45:10,583
Oh!
2230
01:45:11,237 --> 01:45:12,316
Okay.
2231
01:45:15,909 --> 01:45:17,315
Well played, sir.
2232
01:45:17,668 --> 01:45:18,779
- Okay.
- Thank you.
2233
01:45:18,853 --> 01:45:20,892
No problem, man.
Go get 'em.
2234
01:45:21,477 --> 01:45:23,134
Mooj, you done see my son...
2235
01:45:23,205 --> 01:45:24,797
you know his foot gonna be
bigger than this.
2236
01:45:24,870 --> 01:45:27,968
If that baby looks Pakistani,
don't fucking look at me, okay?
2237
01:45:28,038 --> 01:45:31,452
I wouldn't mind. You got good genes.
How old are you? What, 138?
2238
01:45:31,526 --> 01:45:34,340
When your son is born,
is he already in parole?
2239
01:45:42,343 --> 01:45:45,571
I need some poon.
2240
01:45:45,896 --> 01:45:48,764
You guys were so right,
right from the beginning.
2241
01:45:49,064 --> 01:45:53,536
I need genital to genital connection
and that's all I need.
2242
01:45:53,991 --> 01:45:57,373
You know, the thing about relationships
is that they...
2243
01:45:57,577 --> 01:45:59,234
make one person go...
2244
01:46:00,745 --> 01:46:02,882
And the other person go,
"What are you talking about?"
2245
01:46:02,953 --> 01:46:04,129
And then one person goes...
2246
01:46:05,673 --> 01:46:07,232
How much have you had to drink, man?
2247
01:46:07,306 --> 01:46:10,654
How much have I had to drink?
How many pots have you smoken?
2248
01:46:10,730 --> 01:46:11,841
What are you talking about?
2249
01:46:11,913 --> 01:46:15,043
How many times have you gone
to the bathroom in your life?
2250
01:46:15,113 --> 01:46:16,257
Let me ask you that.
2251
01:46:16,329 --> 01:46:19,197
You know what, you don't have
an answer for that, do you?
2252
01:46:19,274 --> 01:46:20,800
Fuck you, man! I'm sorry.
2253
01:46:20,874 --> 01:46:23,939
No, you're such a good guy,
and I appreciate you.
2254
01:46:24,011 --> 01:46:25,919
What's up, baby, I didn't know
you had came already.
2255
01:46:25,995 --> 01:46:28,066
Hey, motherfucker!
2256
01:46:30,347 --> 01:46:32,353
Man, you know what,
tonight is the night.
2257
01:46:32,427 --> 01:46:36,933
You know what, you were
totally right and I was wrong.
2258
01:46:37,164 --> 01:46:41,473
You were right all along.
You cannot have a relationship...
2259
01:46:41,612 --> 01:46:43,716
with somebody until...
2260
01:46:44,333 --> 01:46:46,666
you have sex and that's the long...
2261
01:46:46,734 --> 01:46:48,424
That's the long and short of it.
2262
01:46:48,493 --> 01:46:51,808
- So, thank you.
- That's good.
2263
01:46:52,141 --> 01:46:54,987
And now I have to go hunt
for some hos.
2264
01:46:57,742 --> 01:47:00,905
- He going to be all right?
- No, I don't think he is.
2265
01:47:01,039 --> 01:47:03,274
- Cal's a good guy.
- Yeah, he's a great guy.
2266
01:47:03,343 --> 01:47:05,033
It's so funny, because, you know...
2267
01:47:05,103 --> 01:47:07,785
when I first met him and I thought
you were cute at the store...
2268
01:47:07,855 --> 01:47:10,723
- ... he told me you were gay.
- I'm not gay.
2269
01:47:11,087 --> 01:47:13,606
Cal says that I'm gay because
he has a real problem...
2270
01:47:13,679 --> 01:47:15,914
with his own gayness.
2271
01:47:15,984 --> 01:47:19,147
But seriously, I'm going
to lay it out for you, right now.
2272
01:47:19,760 --> 01:47:21,995
I was a little reticent
to come over and talk to you.
2273
01:47:22,065 --> 01:47:24,781
You're very pretty and you seem very nice.
The truth is...
2274
01:47:24,847 --> 01:47:28,326
I dated this woman, let me rephrase that,
I dated this whore...
2275
01:47:28,881 --> 01:47:30,407
who stomped all over my heart.
2276
01:47:30,481 --> 01:47:33,229
And it's just taking me
a little while to kind of...
2277
01:47:33,297 --> 01:47:34,856
you know, get back in the game.
2278
01:47:34,929 --> 01:47:36,269
Oh, my God. Say no more.
2279
01:47:36,337 --> 01:47:38,824
My last boyfriend Sal junior,
is a scum bag.
2280
01:47:38,897 --> 01:47:41,034
I would totally pay people
to have him killed.
2281
01:47:41,106 --> 01:47:43,177
That's how much I fucking hate
that damn scum bag.
2282
01:47:43,249 --> 01:47:45,320
- God, you're fucking awesome.
- You too.
2283
01:47:47,058 --> 01:47:48,912
Hey, you!
2284
01:47:50,899 --> 01:47:52,556
- Hey.
- Hey.
2285
01:47:52,819 --> 01:47:54,279
How you doing?
2286
01:47:54,707 --> 01:47:57,161
Much better,
now that I'm talking to you.
2287
01:47:57,395 --> 01:47:59,882
Hey, lookie,
I can see through your shirt.
2288
01:48:00,627 --> 01:48:01,836
Nice.
2289
01:48:02,995 --> 01:48:05,579
So, you think we should...
2290
01:48:05,875 --> 01:48:08,362
take this party
to my apartment or what?
2291
01:48:08,852 --> 01:48:11,753
I am RSVPing "yes. "
2292
01:48:15,317 --> 01:48:18,382
Hope you have a big trunk
because I'm putting my bike in it.
2293
01:48:21,109 --> 01:48:22,537
Yeah, let's go!
2294
01:48:27,478 --> 01:48:29,965
Mom, I left my phone somewhere
and I...
2295
01:48:30,679 --> 01:48:31,758
Thank you.
2296
01:48:33,047 --> 01:48:36,177
What's the matter?
Where is Andy?
2297
01:48:36,247 --> 01:48:39,093
- We had a big fight, just...
- Oh, Mom.
2298
01:48:39,607 --> 01:48:41,580
He just stormed out of here.
2299
01:48:41,654 --> 01:48:42,700
What happened?
2300
01:48:42,775 --> 01:48:45,327
Well, I just...
Wait a minute, I thought you hated him.
2301
01:48:45,399 --> 01:48:48,781
I don't hate him. I mean,
he does do magic, but...
2302
01:48:48,888 --> 01:48:51,156
you know, he's a big dork...
2303
01:48:51,544 --> 01:48:53,747
and I like seeing you happy.
2304
01:48:55,416 --> 01:48:56,495
I do.
2305
01:48:58,360 --> 01:49:00,748
- That's sweet, that's really sweet.
- Mom.
2306
01:49:01,401 --> 01:49:04,247
Why don't you just go talk to him,
work it out.
2307
01:49:04,313 --> 01:49:07,029
'Cause if the thing is that important,
you can't just stop.
2308
01:49:07,770 --> 01:49:09,874
Let me dance for you.
I would love it.
2309
01:49:11,066 --> 01:49:14,742
Look at your bra and your breasts
and everything. That's so great.
2310
01:49:15,706 --> 01:49:19,054
Wow! You know what?
You're so hot. You're so hot.
2311
01:49:19,354 --> 01:49:20,913
I'm smoking hot.
2312
01:49:20,986 --> 01:49:23,734
You know what? I'm just going
to have sex with you.
2313
01:49:23,803 --> 01:49:25,809
Yes! Let's have sex.
2314
01:49:25,883 --> 01:49:28,020
- It's going to happen.
- That's why we are here.
2315
01:49:28,091 --> 01:49:30,359
That's totally what's going
to happen.
2316
01:49:30,588 --> 01:49:32,627
We could do it in the...
2317
01:49:33,596 --> 01:49:35,220
Butt, if you want to.
2318
01:49:36,828 --> 01:49:38,682
But, if I want to what?
2319
01:49:39,132 --> 01:49:42,033
- Butt.
- But what? What?
2320
01:49:42,140 --> 01:49:44,081
- Do it.
- Do it?
2321
01:49:44,253 --> 01:49:45,200
What?
2322
01:49:45,693 --> 01:49:48,409
I don't know
what you're talking about.
2323
01:49:48,509 --> 01:49:50,482
- Butt.
- But...
2324
01:49:50,717 --> 01:49:51,992
- What?
- ... what?
2325
01:49:54,877 --> 01:49:57,080
But, it still feels so right.
2326
01:50:09,374 --> 01:50:10,420
Yeah!
2327
01:50:12,831 --> 01:50:16,507
Yeah. Right! Okay. Yeah.
2328
01:50:17,888 --> 01:50:19,545
That was a fun day.
2329
01:50:21,024 --> 01:50:23,990
You are so kinky.
2330
01:50:24,673 --> 01:50:26,330
Yeah, I'm so kinky.
2331
01:50:26,848 --> 01:50:29,946
That's why I did this
because I thought it looks...
2332
01:50:30,016 --> 01:50:32,404
You like to shave, don't you?
2333
01:50:32,481 --> 01:50:35,163
- Let's shave each other.
- I don't think you have any hair.
2334
01:50:35,233 --> 01:50:36,988
You know where to shave me.
2335
01:50:37,058 --> 01:50:39,031
- Yeah.
- Because I want to shave you.
2336
01:50:39,106 --> 01:50:40,730
I want to shave your head.
2337
01:50:41,922 --> 01:50:43,709
I wanna give you a buzz cut.
2338
01:50:44,674 --> 01:50:46,298
Let's get in the bath.
2339
01:50:46,658 --> 01:50:48,086
In the bath?
2340
01:50:48,162 --> 01:50:52,351
Yes. We're gonna get dirty.
Dirty, dirty. Sudsy.
2341
01:50:52,451 --> 01:50:54,392
It's just about time I got really dirty.
2342
01:50:54,467 --> 01:50:55,480
Yeah.
2343
01:50:58,180 --> 01:51:02,751
Hey. Hi, it's me,
and I'm on my way to your house.
2344
01:51:02,819 --> 01:51:05,022
I want to do whatever
you want to do, okay?
2345
01:51:05,219 --> 01:51:08,928
Fifty dates. 100.
I hope not, but whatever.
2346
01:51:09,508 --> 01:51:12,158
I'm gonna see you soon, okay? Bye.
2347
01:51:16,037 --> 01:51:18,851
Wow. Okay, well, that was fast. Okay.
2348
01:51:21,221 --> 01:51:24,035
Wow! Holy shit!
2349
01:51:24,293 --> 01:51:26,747
Wow. This is just
the right thing to happen.
2350
01:51:27,238 --> 01:51:30,466
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Wow!
Almost got my penis.
2351
01:51:30,566 --> 01:51:31,939
Come to mama.
2352
01:51:33,447 --> 01:51:36,129
I'm gonna really take care
of you tonight.
2353
01:51:36,359 --> 01:51:38,779
You're never gonna forget Beth.
2354
01:51:48,519 --> 01:51:50,460
I just want to please you.
2355
01:51:51,272 --> 01:51:52,798
What do you like?
2356
01:51:53,609 --> 01:51:56,575
I don't know.
What do you like?
2357
01:51:57,096 --> 01:51:59,102
Can I show you what I like?
2358
01:51:59,592 --> 01:52:00,638
Okay.
2359
01:52:13,738 --> 01:52:16,420
It's so hot in here.
2360
01:52:17,130 --> 01:52:19,398
I wanna introduce you to my friend.
2361
01:52:23,563 --> 01:52:25,536
Your friend is so shiny.
2362
01:52:26,443 --> 01:52:29,344
This guy knows exactly what I like.
2363
01:52:34,475 --> 01:52:36,132
Where's you friend going?
2364
01:52:37,900 --> 01:52:40,419
This is how I'm gonna warm up for you.
2365
01:52:41,644 --> 01:52:45,320
That's always good to warm up.
You don't wanna pull something.
2366
01:53:02,254 --> 01:53:04,522
Wow, this is graphic.
2367
01:53:17,807 --> 01:53:19,213
I can't do it.
2368
01:53:20,783 --> 01:53:23,335
God, what are you doing here?
2369
01:53:23,409 --> 01:53:25,961
We came here because we were
concerned about you and Trish...
2370
01:53:26,033 --> 01:53:28,072
and now I could not give a fuck.
2371
01:53:28,144 --> 01:53:30,631
How did you even know where she lives?
2372
01:53:30,769 --> 01:53:33,004
- I hit it like eight months back.
- What?
2373
01:53:33,072 --> 01:53:35,689
Never gave her back the key, man.
You have no idea...
2374
01:53:35,761 --> 01:53:37,734
where this is going, all right?
That girl is a freak.
2375
01:53:37,810 --> 01:53:41,125
Oh, it's happening!
It's happening! Andy!
2376
01:53:41,554 --> 01:53:42,698
You think?
2377
01:53:42,994 --> 01:53:45,131
We've been talking, and look...
2378
01:53:45,553 --> 01:53:47,756
if you love Trish, you can't do this.
2379
01:53:47,826 --> 01:53:50,727
Look, you guys, I don't know
what I'm doing anymore.
2380
01:53:50,802 --> 01:53:53,289
I don't even know who I am.
All I know is...
2381
01:53:53,363 --> 01:53:56,745
that woman scares the shit out of me...
2382
01:53:56,883 --> 01:53:59,020
and I just wanna go home, okay?
2383
01:53:59,220 --> 01:54:01,423
- Let's go.
- We should all get out of here.
2384
01:54:01,492 --> 01:54:03,149
- Okay.
- We should all go.
2385
01:54:03,219 --> 01:54:04,559
It wasn't that good for me.
2386
01:54:04,627 --> 01:54:06,448
We should totally get out of here.
2387
01:54:06,515 --> 01:54:08,619
We should run away from here.
2388
01:54:14,837 --> 01:54:15,818
Hey.
2389
01:54:17,269 --> 01:54:18,282
Cal.
2390
01:54:20,949 --> 01:54:22,573
Go around!
2391
01:54:23,445 --> 01:54:25,451
Come on, just go around me!
2392
01:54:28,534 --> 01:54:30,126
Can't you hear me?
2393
01:54:37,335 --> 01:54:40,269
Hey, there. Hi, Trish.
2394
01:54:41,815 --> 01:54:44,235
Man, I'm really sorry about tonight.
2395
01:54:44,311 --> 01:54:45,651
What's this?
2396
01:54:46,680 --> 01:54:48,272
Those are David's.
2397
01:54:50,264 --> 01:54:52,019
I think he has a problem.
2398
01:54:52,089 --> 01:54:54,477
- These are David's?
- He's into that.
2399
01:54:54,617 --> 01:54:57,911
David's Boner Jams '03?
2400
01:54:58,520 --> 01:55:00,461
Yeah, it's so sad.
2401
01:55:00,952 --> 01:55:03,820
He compiled all the best
boner scenes, I guess.
2402
01:55:04,729 --> 01:55:06,964
This isn't what it looks like,
okay?
2403
01:55:07,417 --> 01:55:10,383
- What does this look like?
- A vagina.
2404
01:55:11,386 --> 01:55:12,879
And what do you do with this vagina?
2405
01:55:12,954 --> 01:55:15,822
To learn.
It's for medicinal purposes.
2406
01:55:15,897 --> 01:55:16,844
Ugh.
2407
01:55:16,922 --> 01:55:19,157
- Hey, I'm sorry. God...
- What's this?
2408
01:55:19,802 --> 01:55:22,648
This your date drug?
Your roofie?
2409
01:55:22,970 --> 01:55:24,398
It's a Mentos.
2410
01:55:25,115 --> 01:55:26,969
They're "The Freshmaker. "
2411
01:55:27,035 --> 01:55:28,375
Yeah, right.
2412
01:55:28,603 --> 01:55:30,489
What are you, some kind of sex pervert?
2413
01:55:30,555 --> 01:55:31,863
Are you a deviant or something?
2414
01:55:31,932 --> 01:55:34,516
- No, I'm not a sexual deviant!
- What is all this?
2415
01:55:34,588 --> 01:55:36,954
I haven't even tried
to have sex with you, so...
2416
01:55:37,019 --> 01:55:39,800
What are you trying to do?
What are you buttering me up for?
2417
01:55:39,868 --> 01:55:40,947
Come on.
2418
01:55:41,020 --> 01:55:42,710
You're not gonna try and kill me,
are you?
2419
01:55:42,780 --> 01:55:45,332
- Look, Trish.
- You didn't get a new carpet.
2420
01:55:45,597 --> 01:55:48,760
I'm not trying to kill you.
I love you.
2421
01:55:49,149 --> 01:55:51,482
- I love you.
- Oh, God!
2422
01:55:51,741 --> 01:55:52,852
Trish.
2423
01:56:01,086 --> 01:56:03,190
Trish. No!
2424
01:56:04,062 --> 01:56:06,482
No. Trish, stop.
2425
01:56:10,815 --> 01:56:12,058
Come on, Trish!
2426
01:56:15,359 --> 01:56:17,213
I need to talk to you!
2427
01:56:17,280 --> 01:56:18,293
No!
2428
01:56:20,384 --> 01:56:21,365
Damn it.
2429
01:56:51,874 --> 01:56:53,182
Oh, my God!
2430
01:56:56,067 --> 01:56:58,815
Andy! Oh, my God!
2431
01:56:58,883 --> 01:57:00,191
Call 911.
2432
01:57:00,355 --> 01:57:02,209
Oh, my... Andy.
2433
01:57:02,980 --> 01:57:04,604
Oh, my God!
2434
01:57:04,675 --> 01:57:07,391
I'm gonna need a minute.
I'm in a lot of pain right now.
2435
01:57:07,460 --> 01:57:09,052
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
2436
01:57:09,124 --> 01:57:10,235
Not bad.
2437
01:57:10,308 --> 01:57:12,576
There were two sides
to that billboard.
2438
01:57:12,644 --> 01:57:14,465
And they both hurt equally.
2439
01:57:14,725 --> 01:57:17,244
Andy. Andy.
2440
01:57:19,269 --> 01:57:21,340
- Are you okay?
- I'm okay.
2441
01:57:21,797 --> 01:57:23,389
No, I'm not okay.
2442
01:57:24,645 --> 01:57:25,985
I'm a virgin.
2443
01:57:28,070 --> 01:57:29,181
A what?
2444
01:57:30,086 --> 01:57:32,354
I'm a virgin.
I always have been.
2445
01:57:33,702 --> 01:57:36,897
Andy, is that what all this was about?
2446
01:57:37,831 --> 01:57:39,074
I'm sorry.
2447
01:57:39,175 --> 01:57:41,443
You're just a virgin, that's all?
2448
01:57:41,574 --> 01:57:44,126
- Yeah.
- That's good. That's a good thing.
2449
01:57:45,831 --> 01:57:47,618
I feel stupid.
2450
01:57:49,224 --> 01:57:51,808
It's okay. I thought
you were trying to kill me.
2451
01:57:53,480 --> 01:57:54,461
No.
2452
01:57:55,305 --> 01:57:56,514
Oh, my God.
2453
01:57:57,577 --> 01:58:00,031
No, I'm not trying to kill you.
2454
01:58:03,753 --> 01:58:06,305
That's why I never tried
to have sex with you.
2455
01:58:06,697 --> 01:58:09,063
I was scared, okay?
I just...
2456
01:58:09,737 --> 01:58:11,492
'Cause I didn't know what I was doing.
2457
01:58:11,562 --> 01:58:13,349
I just didn't think it would be good.
2458
01:58:13,418 --> 01:58:16,264
Of course it'll be good.
We love each other.
2459
01:58:17,802 --> 01:58:18,913
Really?
2460
01:58:20,522 --> 01:58:21,830
I love you.
2461
01:58:23,274 --> 01:58:24,353
Yeah.
2462
01:58:28,875 --> 01:58:31,295
Get the fuck out of the road,
virgin!
2463
01:58:33,036 --> 01:58:34,464
Shut up, you fucking jerk!
2464
01:58:34,539 --> 01:58:37,320
No, that's okay.
That's all right. Sorry.
2465
01:58:38,892 --> 01:58:39,938
You know what...
2466
01:58:40,012 --> 01:58:42,694
for so long I thought that there was
something wrong with me...
2467
01:58:42,765 --> 01:58:45,481
because it had never happened, but...
2468
01:58:47,853 --> 01:58:51,496
I realize now that it was
just because I was waiting for you.
2469
01:59:15,503 --> 01:59:18,153
This was some wedding.
How could they afford it?
2470
01:59:18,224 --> 01:59:21,387
Dude sells his toys and makes
like a half a million dollars.
2471
01:59:21,488 --> 01:59:23,592
- It's crazy, right?
- That's fucking crazy.
2472
01:59:23,664 --> 01:59:25,550
We're gonna get some fucking toys.
2473
01:59:25,616 --> 01:59:27,687
We are all so happy for you.
2474
01:59:27,889 --> 01:59:30,571
I am delighted to say these words.
2475
01:59:31,440 --> 01:59:32,519
Andy...
2476
01:59:33,104 --> 01:59:34,891
you may kiss the bride.
2477
01:59:47,601 --> 01:59:50,600
And for God's sake,
consummate the thing.
2478
01:59:55,378 --> 01:59:58,159
No! Stop it.
I have the key.
2479
02:00:04,756 --> 02:00:06,959
I'm not gonna be done
buffing the marble...
2480
02:00:07,027 --> 02:00:08,651
for about a half an hour,
but...
2481
02:00:08,723 --> 02:00:11,143
you can come in and sit down
if you want...
2482
02:00:11,220 --> 02:00:13,324
or wait in the lobby.
It's okay.
2483
02:00:13,396 --> 02:00:14,856
It's up to you.
2484
02:00:21,750 --> 02:00:23,953
Dude, get the fuck out of here.
2485
02:00:34,518 --> 02:00:35,946
- Ready?
- Yeah.
2486
02:00:41,847 --> 02:00:43,187
- Yes.
- Yeah.
2487
02:00:49,592 --> 02:00:50,539
Whoa.
2488
02:00:51,063 --> 02:00:53,266
You're officially not a virgin.
2489
02:00:54,041 --> 02:00:55,087
Cool.
2490
02:01:02,840 --> 02:01:04,148
Wow.
2491
02:01:11,289 --> 02:01:12,848
Wanna do it again?
2492
02:01:13,914 --> 02:01:15,374
- Yeah.
- Good. Okay.
2493
02:01:15,450 --> 02:01:16,594
Sure.
2494
02:01:17,211 --> 02:01:19,315
That was good. That was okay.
2495
02:01:22,554 --> 02:01:23,567
Okay.
2496
02:01:23,706 --> 02:01:24,719
- You ready?
- Yeah.
2497
02:01:24,795 --> 02:01:27,282
- Are you ready?
- Yeah, I'm fine, yeah.
2498
02:01:39,548 --> 02:01:41,456
So, how was that for you?
2499
02:01:46,141 --> 02:01:48,561
# When the moon #
2500
02:01:48,637 --> 02:01:51,735
# Is in the Seventh House #
2501
02:01:51,965 --> 02:01:56,274
# And Jupiter aligns with Mars #
2502
02:01:57,246 --> 02:02:01,947
# Then peace will guide the planets #
2503
02:02:02,366 --> 02:02:05,496
# And love will steer the stars #
2504
02:02:05,566 --> 02:02:09,842
# This is the dawning
of the age of Aquarius #
2505
02:02:10,047 --> 02:02:14,170
# Age of Aquarius #
2506
02:02:14,751 --> 02:02:19,005
# Aquarius #
2507
02:02:19,680 --> 02:02:23,934
# Aquarius #
2508
02:02:24,576 --> 02:02:26,582
# Harmony and understanding #
2509
02:02:26,913 --> 02:02:29,367
# Sympathy and trust abounding #
2510
02:02:29,441 --> 02:02:31,228
# No more falsehoods or derisions #
2511
02:02:31,296 --> 02:02:34,164
# Golden living dreams of visions #
2512
02:02:34,241 --> 02:02:36,411
# Mystic crystal revelations #
2513
02:02:36,481 --> 02:02:39,349
# And the mind's true liberation #
2514
02:02:39,425 --> 02:02:43,897
# Aquarius #
2515
02:02:44,162 --> 02:02:48,634
# Aquarius #
2516
02:02:49,026 --> 02:02:53,116
# When the moon is
in the Seventh House #
2517
02:02:53,858 --> 02:02:57,981
# And Jupiter aligns with Mars #
2518
02:02:59,204 --> 02:03:03,775
# Then peace will guide the planets #
2519
02:03:04,036 --> 02:03:07,166
# And love will steer the star #
2520
02:03:07,236 --> 02:03:11,294
# This is the dawning
of the age of Aquarius #
2521
02:03:11,556 --> 02:03:15,995
# The age of Aquarius #
2522
02:03:16,292 --> 02:03:20,699
# Aquarius #
2523
02:03:21,126 --> 02:03:23,197
# Aquarius #
2524
02:03:23,269 --> 02:03:25,090
# It's Aquarius, baby #
2525
02:03:25,157 --> 02:03:27,644
# We ain't talking about no Scorpio #
2526
02:03:27,717 --> 02:03:29,145
# We ain't talking about no #
2527
02:03:29,222 --> 02:03:32,090
# No, we ain't talking
about no Scorpio #
2528
02:03:36,135 --> 02:03:37,759
# Aquarius #
2529
02:03:38,279 --> 02:03:40,995
# Aquarius #
2530
02:03:43,271 --> 02:03:45,572
# Aquarius ##
2531
02:03:51,336 --> 02:03:54,564
# Let the sunshine #
2532
02:03:54,856 --> 02:03:58,150
# Let the sunshine in #
2533
02:03:58,217 --> 02:04:01,478
# The sunshine in #
2534
02:04:02,440 --> 02:04:05,635
# Let the sunshine #
2535
02:04:06,185 --> 02:04:09,446
# Let the sunshine in #
2536
02:04:09,513 --> 02:04:12,895
# The sunshine in #
2537
02:04:13,770 --> 02:04:17,282
# Let the sunshine #
2538
02:04:17,354 --> 02:04:20,702
# Let the sunshine in #
2539
02:04:20,778 --> 02:04:24,738
# The sunshine in #
# Let it shine, let it shine #
2540
02:04:25,003 --> 02:04:28,198
# Let the sunshine #
2541
02:04:28,267 --> 02:04:30,054
# Let it shine #
2542
02:04:30,123 --> 02:04:32,031
# Let it shine, yeah #
2543
02:04:32,108 --> 02:04:35,784
# The sunshine in #
2544
02:04:36,236 --> 02:04:39,551
# Let the sunshine #
2545
02:04:39,916 --> 02:04:43,210
# Let the sunshine in #
2546
02:04:43,276 --> 02:04:46,122
# The sunshine in ##
193816
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