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1
00:00:00,234 --> 00:00:02,817
[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]
2
00:00:04,081 --> 00:00:07,232
The name of the game is "Mafia."
3
00:00:07,296 --> 00:00:09,431
♪ ♪
4
00:00:09,456 --> 00:00:11,609
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- Do you know how this works?
5
00:00:11,634 --> 00:00:13,385
Was there a syllabus I
was supposed to read?
6
00:00:13,410 --> 00:00:14,827
- [CHUCKLES]
- What's that, Don?
7
00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:16,474
He just needs you to explain the rules.
8
00:00:16,499 --> 00:00:17,570
Don Ridley, you have been going
9
00:00:17,595 --> 00:00:19,797
to Tina Brown's game night for years.
10
00:00:19,822 --> 00:00:21,133
Are you telling me you
never played Mafia?
11
00:00:21,158 --> 00:00:22,548
Do you still work for "Vanity Fair"?
12
00:00:22,573 --> 00:00:25,000
Uh, sometimes "VF," sometimes "GQ."
13
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,215
Oh, everyone wants a
piece of Don Ridley.
14
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,498
Okay, quick rules refresher.
15
00:00:29,523 --> 00:00:32,010
You have all chosen either
"T" for "townsperson,"
16
00:00:32,035 --> 00:00:33,744
or "M" for "murderer."
17
00:00:33,769 --> 00:00:35,909
Each round, the murderer
will kill someone,
18
00:00:35,934 --> 00:00:39,444
and the townspeople must
root out who he or she is.
19
00:00:39,469 --> 00:00:41,315
Now, heads down. Eyes closed.
20
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,128
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
21
00:00:43,153 --> 00:00:47,129
Murderer awaken. Choose your prey.
22
00:00:47,591 --> 00:00:51,815
♪ ♪
23
00:00:52,027 --> 00:00:53,528
Thank you, murderer, head down.
24
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,898
Townspeople, you may wake up.
25
00:00:54,923 --> 00:00:57,779
While you were sleeping,
Zane was brutally murdered.
26
00:00:57,804 --> 00:01:00,516
- Oh.
- [LAUGHS]
27
00:01:01,059 --> 00:01:03,269
[CHUCKLING]
28
00:01:03,294 --> 00:01:05,331
Now figure out who did it.
29
00:01:06,374 --> 00:01:09,030
- I think that it was Liza.
- I think Kelsey's drunk.
30
00:01:09,055 --> 00:01:11,409
Yeah, how do we know
it wasn't you, Peters?
31
00:01:11,434 --> 00:01:13,285
Can you please go get me
another glass of wine?
32
00:01:13,310 --> 00:01:15,631
- Liza already killed you.
- I didn't.
33
00:01:15,656 --> 00:01:17,001
And no one's seconded.
34
00:01:17,026 --> 00:01:18,472
Liza's lying.
35
00:01:19,282 --> 00:01:20,824
I can tell.
36
00:01:20,849 --> 00:01:22,328
Really?
37
00:01:22,464 --> 00:01:26,194
Well, it is a game. Isn't it?
38
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,482
I mean, it could be anybody.
It could be you.
39
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:32,682
Oh, so I accuse you,
then you accuse me.
40
00:01:32,707 --> 00:01:35,027
That is textbook guilty behavior.
41
00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:38,031
Kelsey accused me first.
And I did not accuse her.
42
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,150
And why is that?
43
00:01:39,175 --> 00:01:40,974
The killer would stay off the radar.
44
00:01:41,221 --> 00:01:43,719
Let someone else accuse,
and then pounce.
45
00:01:43,947 --> 00:01:45,289
Like you did.
46
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:46,997
You sound paranoid.
47
00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:50,059
- And guilty.
- [CHUCKLES]
48
00:01:50,084 --> 00:01:51,405
Other townspeople can weigh in.
49
00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:52,467
But let's assume you're right.
50
00:01:52,492 --> 00:01:54,447
If Kelsey is the killer,
51
00:01:54,472 --> 00:01:56,271
wouldn't she have thought of that?
52
00:01:56,296 --> 00:01:57,562
No, she's right.
53
00:01:57,587 --> 00:02:00,285
I'm... kind of drunk.
54
00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:02,872
Uh, plus, we all heard your
cufflink clink your glass
55
00:02:02,897 --> 00:02:04,356
when you pointed at Zane.
56
00:02:04,381 --> 00:02:06,828
Is that what that was? I heard it.
57
00:02:06,853 --> 00:02:10,109
Uh, is anyone else even
wearing cufflinks?
58
00:02:10,134 --> 00:02:12,119
There was no sound.
59
00:02:12,144 --> 00:02:14,763
- This is...
- Ah, he's turning red.
60
00:02:14,788 --> 00:02:16,395
Seconded.
61
00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:18,892
[PATS LEG THRICE] He's so guilty!
62
00:02:19,217 --> 00:02:20,994
- Sorry, Charles.
- Okay, all right.
63
00:02:21,035 --> 00:02:22,295
Enough debate. We have two nominees.
64
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,710
Now, just remember that
whoever you vote to accuse...
65
00:02:24,735 --> 00:02:25,935
dies.
66
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,975
So, who thinks it was Charles?
67
00:02:28,154 --> 00:02:29,220
Ooh.
68
00:02:29,245 --> 00:02:32,857
Oh, wow. And who votes Liza?
69
00:02:33,679 --> 00:02:36,762
Charles, you are dead. Oh, okay.
70
00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:39,818
So were you a townsperson
or a murderer?
71
00:02:39,843 --> 00:02:41,752
[SURPRISED CHATTER]
72
00:02:41,916 --> 00:02:43,429
Townsperson.
73
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,416
The murderer is still at large.
74
00:02:45,673 --> 00:02:48,026
Okay, heads down. Eyes closed.
75
00:02:48,051 --> 00:02:50,715
If you have been killed, you
can keep your eyes open.
76
00:02:50,777 --> 00:02:54,084
Murderer awaken, choose your victim.
77
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,334
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
78
00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:02,679
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
79
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:06,238
So no sex for 90 days, like, at all?
80
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,631
I don't know, I just feel like
I have to do a full reset.
81
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:11,562
No sex, no alcohol, maybe no gluten.
82
00:03:11,587 --> 00:03:13,422
I-I don't know, I just
feel like there's steps
83
00:03:13,447 --> 00:03:17,071
that you skipped over that
are less Amish than this.
84
00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:18,000
- [LAUGHTER]
- Amish.
85
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,564
Hey, I'm gonna tie up my dog
here while I use the head.
86
00:03:19,589 --> 00:03:21,110
- Is that okay?
- [SMACKS LIPS]
87
00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:23,660
Come here, good boy. Come here.
88
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,767
Come here. What's your name?
89
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:27,129
Oh, hi, Hawkeye.
90
00:03:27,154 --> 00:03:28,894
Soak it up. Those are
the last face licks
91
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,792
- you're getting this year.
- Shut up.
92
00:03:30,939 --> 00:03:33,191
Hi, where's your dad going, huh?
93
00:03:36,652 --> 00:03:38,394
Ew. Water?
94
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,284
[CHUCKLING] Yeah.
95
00:03:39,309 --> 00:03:41,481
When you left, you were
going to get me wine.
96
00:03:41,506 --> 00:03:43,292
When I left, you were upright.
97
00:03:43,335 --> 00:03:44,783
Well...
98
00:03:44,884 --> 00:03:47,088
I'd rather take a nap
here than on the train.
99
00:03:47,113 --> 00:03:47,753
You can crash at mine
100
00:03:47,778 --> 00:03:49,801
if you don't wanna go back to Brooklyn.
101
00:03:50,181 --> 00:03:52,808
- What? What?
- Mm-hm-hm!
102
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,691
- What?
- Nothing.
103
00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:57,419
It's just we haven't
really spoken since D.C.
104
00:03:57,444 --> 00:04:00,304
What's there to talk about? I
said "crash," not "smash."
105
00:04:00,329 --> 00:04:03,252
- They're synonymous.
- That is presumptuous.
106
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,738
I'll think about it.
107
00:04:05,763 --> 00:04:07,439
Well, don't think too long.
108
00:04:07,932 --> 00:04:10,273
I'll think about it for five minutes.
109
00:04:10,298 --> 00:04:12,073
And then I'll meet you there.
110
00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:15,197
Go, go, go, before I change my mind.
111
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:18,425
[POP MUSIC]
112
00:04:19,889 --> 00:04:21,270
[SIGHS]
113
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,981
- Solid Mafia skills.
- [LAUGHS]
114
00:04:23,006 --> 00:04:25,140
But how are you at Celebrity?
115
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,086
I need a date for Tina
Brown's next week.
116
00:04:27,111 --> 00:04:29,872
Just don't write down anyone's
name who's actually there.
117
00:04:29,897 --> 00:04:32,160
Tobey Maguire ruined
that for everybody.
118
00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:34,722
[CHUCKLES] Um, never played.
119
00:04:34,747 --> 00:04:36,204
But, you should ask Diana.
120
00:04:36,229 --> 00:04:38,684
She's, uh... she's great at Celebrity.
121
00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:41,109
Looks like her dance card is full.
122
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,223
So, is it a date?
123
00:04:44,248 --> 00:04:46,828
Uh, I'm not really dating right now.
124
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,300
Long story.
125
00:04:48,325 --> 00:04:50,611
Mm, yep.
126
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,770
Last shot.
127
00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:55,740
The "People" Ones to
Watch party is tomorrow.
128
00:04:55,765 --> 00:04:57,238
Don't think of it as dating.
129
00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:59,593
It's... plus-one-ing.
130
00:04:59,618 --> 00:05:01,807
Liza. [EXHALES DEEPLY]
131
00:05:01,832 --> 00:05:04,865
Can I see you in... in
the powder room, please?
132
00:05:05,288 --> 00:05:08,983
Gotta go. Nice to meet you... Don.
133
00:05:09,716 --> 00:05:11,458
[CHUCKLES]
134
00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:13,965
♪ ♪
135
00:05:14,051 --> 00:05:17,447
[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]
136
00:05:17,558 --> 00:05:21,198
♪ ♪
137
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:24,824
[HUMMING NONCHALANTLY]
138
00:05:28,826 --> 00:05:32,350
What? What's going on? Oh!
139
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,557
[GASPS] Oh, my God.
140
00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:36,673
Oh, uh, okay.
141
00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:38,612
Okay, [STAMMERING] I'll
get a plumber in here.
142
00:05:38,637 --> 00:05:40,988
You... you just get back to
those men you were talking to.
143
00:05:41,013 --> 00:05:42,735
Carder and Aaron left, together.
144
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,848
This party, like my marriage,
is too gay for its own good.
145
00:05:44,873 --> 00:05:47,846
- I am officially euthanizing it.
- No. No, no, no. You can't!
146
00:05:47,871 --> 00:05:49,213
It's still early.
147
00:05:49,302 --> 00:05:51,284
You will realize this when
old enough to rent a car,
148
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:53,164
but one day men won't
just fall into your lap.
149
00:05:53,189 --> 00:05:55,491
You have to put in an effort.
And it is exhausting.
150
00:05:55,516 --> 00:05:57,385
No, sorry, you are not giving up
151
00:05:57,410 --> 00:06:00,649
when there is a room full
of eligible straight men.
152
00:06:00,674 --> 00:06:02,617
Now, go. It's just a clogged toilet.
153
00:06:02,642 --> 00:06:04,644
It happens all the time.
154
00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:06,688
[GASPS]
155
00:06:06,852 --> 00:06:09,306
- Come on, where's your dad?
- I checked the kitchen,
156
00:06:09,331 --> 00:06:11,487
the dumpsters, the bathroom.
157
00:06:11,512 --> 00:06:13,563
I didn't see that Murray
Hill douchebag anywhere.
158
00:06:13,588 --> 00:06:14,970
And they literally locked
the door behind me.
159
00:06:14,995 --> 00:06:16,796
Well, we can't just leave him here.
160
00:06:16,821 --> 00:06:19,001
Hey, you wanna come
bunk with me or what?
161
00:06:19,026 --> 00:06:20,540
I just wanna remind you, the
last time you picked up
162
00:06:20,565 --> 00:06:22,470
- a stray, you married her.
- [SCOFFS]
163
00:06:22,501 --> 00:06:24,038
Thank you for reminding me.
164
00:06:24,063 --> 00:06:25,563
- I really appreciate that.
- [LAUGHS]
165
00:06:25,587 --> 00:06:27,079
- [CHUCKLING] God.
- He's cute.
166
00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:28,032
Guys, come on, come on, come on.
167
00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,500
- Hey, come on.
- Come on.
168
00:06:29,915 --> 00:06:31,918
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
169
00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:35,943
[EXHALES DEEPLY] It's about time.
170
00:06:35,968 --> 00:06:38,251
I've been waiting forever for...
171
00:06:38,849 --> 00:06:41,731
Enzo. Hello, uh...
172
00:06:41,756 --> 00:06:43,085
Hey.
173
00:06:43,948 --> 00:06:46,018
Bathroom still in the same place?
174
00:06:46,043 --> 00:06:47,997
Ye... yeah.
175
00:06:48,022 --> 00:06:50,184
[GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC]
176
00:06:51,086 --> 00:06:55,470
♪ ♪
177
00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,702
Okay.
178
00:07:05,257 --> 00:07:07,260
Oh, God.
179
00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:10,483
It's an easy fix. 15, 20 minutes tops.
180
00:07:10,508 --> 00:07:12,370
Yeah, well, no rush.
181
00:07:12,395 --> 00:07:15,082
Can I get you a drink?
I just had a party.
182
00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:17,937
Yeah, your, uh, toilet told me.
183
00:07:18,218 --> 00:07:19,997
I'm good.
184
00:07:22,315 --> 00:07:25,767
So, um, how... how have you been?
185
00:07:25,968 --> 00:07:28,236
[CHUCKLES] You don't have to do that.
186
00:07:28,261 --> 00:07:30,473
You disappeared over a year ago.
187
00:07:30,498 --> 00:07:33,046
- I got the hint.
- I didn't, I... okay.
188
00:07:33,071 --> 00:07:35,057
I did. I'm sorry. Um...
189
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,044
Sorry.
190
00:07:37,121 --> 00:07:39,210
I assumed you had plenty of...
191
00:07:39,553 --> 00:07:41,401
Plenty of what?
192
00:07:42,467 --> 00:07:43,911
- I don't usually...
- Oh, I know.
193
00:07:43,936 --> 00:07:46,606
We both said that many
times, very convincingly.
194
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,398
I meant it.
195
00:07:49,124 --> 00:07:50,868
You know, I was gonna ask you out,
196
00:07:50,893 --> 00:07:52,756
but you stopped answering, so...
197
00:07:53,212 --> 00:07:55,175
Well, I was seeing someone.
198
00:07:55,783 --> 00:07:57,470
Ah.
199
00:07:57,495 --> 00:07:59,698
But now I'm not, so...
200
00:08:00,721 --> 00:08:02,444
I guess you're out of excuses.
201
00:08:02,469 --> 00:08:03,978
[CHUCKLES]
202
00:08:04,003 --> 00:08:05,886
I guess I am.
203
00:08:07,942 --> 00:08:09,851
How's dinner Thursday?
204
00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:13,605
Okay.
205
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,792
I'll pick you up.
206
00:08:16,215 --> 00:08:18,659
♪ ♪
207
00:08:19,156 --> 00:08:21,986
- [UPBEAT MUSIC]
- ♪ Yeah, aye ♪
208
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,032
- ♪ Shoot ♪
- ♪ Yeah, aye ♪
209
00:08:25,057 --> 00:08:27,312
Okay, you have a budget
meeting at 2:00,
210
00:08:27,337 --> 00:08:29,685
followed by the YA presentation
with publicity at 3:30.
211
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,733
And then that call with the
Whitney board right after.
212
00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:32,917
- You got all that?
- Not a word.
213
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:34,915
That's why I have you.
And who is this for?
214
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:36,568
Liza Miller.
215
00:08:36,593 --> 00:08:39,441
Gotta be kidding me.
216
00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:42,068
- Don Ridley? [SCOFFS]
- _
217
00:08:42,093 --> 00:08:43,210
I throw a party to meet men.
218
00:08:43,235 --> 00:08:45,704
You get a date out of it. [SNICKERS]
219
00:08:45,729 --> 00:08:46,980
Everything okay over here?
220
00:08:47,005 --> 00:08:49,131
Oh, a man just fell into Liza's lap.
221
00:08:49,156 --> 00:08:51,123
She's going to the "People"
Ones to Watch party.
222
00:08:51,148 --> 00:08:53,126
- Typical.
- When has this ever happened?
223
00:08:53,151 --> 00:08:54,690
It is typical that men in their forties
224
00:08:54,715 --> 00:08:56,699
just want women in
their twenties, right?
225
00:08:57,723 --> 00:08:59,404
Diana, I'm not going.
226
00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:01,972
Do I need to pedal you
there myself in a pedicab?
227
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:07,110
You should go. It's a fun party.
228
00:09:07,896 --> 00:09:09,930
Uh, bring Tupperware.
229
00:09:10,576 --> 00:09:12,361
Uh, what's that supposed to mean?
230
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,289
Oh, at Diana's,
231
00:09:14,314 --> 00:09:15,872
when he thought that
nobody was looking,
232
00:09:15,897 --> 00:09:18,900
I saw Don stuff a pork
chop into his pocket.
233
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,280
What?
234
00:09:20,305 --> 00:09:22,839
Yeah. A pork chop.
235
00:09:23,782 --> 00:09:25,764
Pocket.
236
00:09:26,245 --> 00:09:27,970
Have fun.
237
00:09:29,022 --> 00:09:31,357
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
238
00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:35,417
♪ ♪
239
00:09:36,418 --> 00:09:39,793
[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC]
240
00:09:39,971 --> 00:09:42,555
♪ ♪
241
00:09:42,885 --> 00:09:44,783
- Okay, uh...
- Oh.
242
00:09:44,808 --> 00:09:46,445
Since I have interviewed
half of these people here,
243
00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:49,959
you can pick one celeb for
me to introduce you to.
244
00:09:49,984 --> 00:09:51,616
If it's Martha Stewart,
we should do it now
245
00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:53,343
before they bring out the Jaeger luge.
246
00:09:53,368 --> 00:09:55,383
Why don't you introduce me to you?
247
00:09:55,408 --> 00:09:57,050
All I know about you is your writing.
248
00:09:57,075 --> 00:09:58,862
And that you were born in Pittsburgh.
249
00:09:58,887 --> 00:10:01,642
You googled me. Feels like a date move.
250
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,584
[CHUCKLES] Well, as your plus-one,
251
00:10:03,609 --> 00:10:05,450
I did brush up on your work.
252
00:10:05,790 --> 00:10:08,162
Your piece on Rwanda in "The Atlantic"
253
00:10:08,187 --> 00:10:10,054
was even better the second time.
254
00:10:10,079 --> 00:10:13,279
Wow. Usually my dates
just skim my interview
255
00:10:13,304 --> 00:10:15,366
with Jen Aniston and
pivot to Brangelina
256
00:10:15,391 --> 00:10:16,793
the rest of the night.
257
00:10:17,189 --> 00:10:18,959
Good thing I'm not one of your dates.
258
00:10:18,984 --> 00:10:21,554
Yeah. Good thing.
259
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,557
- Walk this way.
- [LAUGHS]
260
00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:30,760
You really don't like that train
ride to Brooklyn, do you?
261
00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:35,570
You were wearing a
different shirt earlier.
262
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,831
I, uh, spilled something.
263
00:10:38,856 --> 00:10:40,718
You don't spill.
264
00:10:40,743 --> 00:10:42,490
- Yeah.
- [GASPS]
265
00:10:42,515 --> 00:10:44,097
Do you have a date?
266
00:10:44,122 --> 00:10:47,897
I have drinks with a
junior editor at Knopf.
267
00:10:47,922 --> 00:10:49,351
Synonymous.
268
00:10:49,376 --> 00:10:50,896
Presumptuous.
269
00:10:51,327 --> 00:10:53,279
[CHUCKLES] It's none of my business.
270
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,093
I'm just gonna keep reading my book.
271
00:10:55,118 --> 00:10:57,928
Mm, weren't you, uh,
reading the other one?
272
00:10:58,411 --> 00:11:00,433
I like to read a few at a time.
273
00:11:00,548 --> 00:11:02,256
I assume that's okay with you?
274
00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:03,562
Eh.
275
00:11:03,587 --> 00:11:05,259
None of my business.
276
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:10,969
It'd be a lot easier to impress you
277
00:11:10,994 --> 00:11:13,728
with my celebrity friends if you
knew who half of them were.
278
00:11:13,753 --> 00:11:16,454
[SCOFFS] All right, who's that?
279
00:11:16,479 --> 00:11:18,631
He's trying to buy an
entire floor of Trump Tower
280
00:11:18,656 --> 00:11:21,958
to house a super PAC to elect
Michelle Obama to Congress.
281
00:11:21,983 --> 00:11:24,223
- What?
- It's purely out of spite.
282
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,263
But he's got funding
from Rosie O'Donnell.
283
00:11:26,288 --> 00:11:27,880
When's this article coming out?
284
00:11:27,905 --> 00:11:30,485
I could write a thousand pages
on that guy. He's nuts.
285
00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:32,346
Well, when you have a book idea,
286
00:11:32,371 --> 00:11:34,159
you know where to bring it.
287
00:11:34,184 --> 00:11:35,928
How about tomorrow?
288
00:11:36,665 --> 00:11:38,444
Seriously. I'll pitch it tomorrow.
289
00:11:38,469 --> 00:11:41,236
And it's not just about him.
It's all of elite Manhattan.
290
00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:43,204
It's crazier than you can imagine.
291
00:11:43,229 --> 00:11:44,731
Okay.
292
00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:46,870
Come pitch it tomorrow.
293
00:11:47,496 --> 00:11:50,578
- 4:00 okay?
- 4:00 is great.
294
00:11:50,738 --> 00:11:52,642
[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC]
295
00:11:52,927 --> 00:11:55,991
Ooh, sushi. Follow me.
296
00:11:56,622 --> 00:12:00,747
♪ ♪
297
00:12:03,012 --> 00:12:05,966
I just... I can't believe
somebody can be this shitty.
298
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:07,747
Now, who would do this to a dog?
299
00:12:07,772 --> 00:12:08,919
- Look at him.
- I know, I know.
300
00:12:08,944 --> 00:12:10,763
He is an actual angel, but
301
00:12:10,788 --> 00:12:12,310
you know we can't have
pets in the building.
302
00:12:12,335 --> 00:12:14,709
Yeah, well, we can't have
three roommates either.
303
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,460
We just won't tell the
landlord now, will we?
304
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:17,601
Rude. Okay, but thank you.
305
00:12:17,626 --> 00:12:19,921
Hawkeye. Oh, my God.
306
00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:21,611
Where did you find him?
307
00:12:21,636 --> 00:12:23,373
Uh, some dude just left him tied up
308
00:12:23,398 --> 00:12:24,593
outside of a restaurant.
309
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,448
Ugh, my ex. Such a prick.
310
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,998
Here.
311
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:32,077
Hey, bye, little dude.
312
00:12:32,102 --> 00:12:33,102
I'm gonna miss you.
313
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,163
You love the hot stranger, don't you?
314
00:12:37,928 --> 00:12:39,568
Don't you?
315
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,528
I got him some toys too,
316
00:12:42,202 --> 00:12:43,811
if you wanna go grab them.
317
00:12:43,836 --> 00:12:45,554
They're, uh, back at my apartment.
318
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:48,133
It's actually, um...
it's our apartment.
319
00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,360
We live there together.
But... ah... okay, no, no.
320
00:12:50,385 --> 00:12:52,437
Sorry... no, never mind. Yeah.
321
00:12:52,883 --> 00:12:55,156
[UPBEAT MUSIC BUILDING]
322
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,148
- ♪ Go ♪
- [PANTING]
323
00:13:00,172 --> 00:13:02,617
[MOANING]
324
00:13:06,398 --> 00:13:07,553
[BARKS]
325
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,631
- Hawkeye.
- Hawkeye, no.
326
00:13:11,938 --> 00:13:14,623
Shut up. You know Pippa Middleton?
327
00:13:14,648 --> 00:13:16,338
One flight, five hours,
328
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,155
several mini bottles of tequila.
329
00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:20,591
She told me her sister was
dating somebody famous.
330
00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:21,957
I wrote it down.
331
00:13:21,982 --> 00:13:24,620
Wait, wait, you broke the
Will and Kate story?
332
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,436
Don. Charles Brooks.
333
00:13:27,461 --> 00:13:29,484
Uh.
334
00:13:29,745 --> 00:13:31,932
- Cufflinks.
- [CHUCKLES]
335
00:13:31,957 --> 00:13:34,296
I heard you have quite a book idea.
336
00:13:35,013 --> 00:13:37,246
- Uh...
- Please.
337
00:13:37,271 --> 00:13:39,410
[PLAYFUL MUSIC]
338
00:13:39,435 --> 00:13:41,740
Um, okay, let's dive in.
339
00:13:41,765 --> 00:13:44,365
Um, this book is about
340
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:48,469
all the dirty, sexy messes
of Manhattan society...
341
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,674
ambassadors, bankers,
not the boring ones.
342
00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:53,321
Disgraced, famous.
343
00:13:53,346 --> 00:13:54,934
Um, Madoffs...
344
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,658
So is this a novel or is it nonfiction?
345
00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:01,403
I was thinking the latter.
346
00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:03,171
Huh.
347
00:14:03,196 --> 00:14:05,178
Well, that could be problematic.
348
00:14:05,564 --> 00:14:08,107
Uh, can we at least hear the idea?
349
00:14:08,132 --> 00:14:11,760
Yeah, these are very litigious,
very wealthy people.
350
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:14,382
But, uh, continue. Sorry.
351
00:14:14,579 --> 00:14:17,405
Oh, I was thinking about
framing the story
352
00:14:17,430 --> 00:14:20,309
around drama at the Trump Tower.
353
00:14:20,334 --> 00:14:22,375
It's a bloodbath, but also a microcosm
354
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,758
of what's going on in
the rest of America.
355
00:14:24,783 --> 00:14:27,859
That sounds like a
completely different book.
356
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:32,636
And readers are starting
to tire of polemics.
357
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,208
♪ ♪
358
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:36,823
Okay, uh, how's this?
359
00:14:36,848 --> 00:14:41,374
Uh, the Monica Lewinsky
scandal is 20 this year.
360
00:14:41,399 --> 00:14:43,338
Uh, our first victim of cyber-bullying
361
00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:44,905
before we even knew what to call it.
362
00:14:45,114 --> 00:14:46,485
She's a friend.
363
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,850
The '90s are hot again.
OJ, Tonya Harding...
364
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:51,579
Right, the... the '90s
are also when most of
365
00:14:51,604 --> 00:14:53,815
Millennial's readers were born.
366
00:14:54,771 --> 00:14:57,223
Uh, I have to jump on
a conference call,
367
00:14:57,248 --> 00:14:59,973
but, uh, it has been a pleasure.
368
00:15:00,582 --> 00:15:03,616
♪ ♪
369
00:15:04,346 --> 00:15:05,879
Ugh.
370
00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:08,267
Don, can you give us a minute?
371
00:15:09,424 --> 00:15:10,885
[SIGHS]
372
00:15:11,688 --> 00:15:13,730
Uh, bathroom?
373
00:15:18,161 --> 00:15:19,823
What is wrong with Charles?
374
00:15:19,848 --> 00:15:21,190
He knows.
375
00:15:21,215 --> 00:15:23,840
- Knows what?
- About me.
376
00:15:23,865 --> 00:15:25,535
All of it.
377
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,744
[EXHALES DEEPLY] God, Liza. How?
378
00:15:28,769 --> 00:15:31,989
- I don't know.
- So he didn't fire you?
379
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,028
Not yet.
380
00:15:34,951 --> 00:15:36,734
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
381
00:15:36,759 --> 00:15:38,417
So, what, he's just gonna punish you
382
00:15:38,442 --> 00:15:41,046
and just tank every
author you bring in here?
383
00:15:42,681 --> 00:15:44,843
This is such a mess.
384
00:15:45,199 --> 00:15:47,182
How are we supposed to do our job?
385
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,568
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
386
00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:51,703
I'll handle it.
387
00:15:52,564 --> 00:15:54,339
[SIGHS]
388
00:16:00,157 --> 00:16:01,819
You got a minute?
389
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:05,144
- Uh, a little busy right now.
- I'll be quick.
390
00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:07,187
I'm resigning.
391
00:16:08,848 --> 00:16:10,850
Close the door, please.
392
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,975
[SNIFFLES]
393
00:16:15,937 --> 00:16:17,479
What are you doing?
394
00:16:17,579 --> 00:16:19,481
This isn't going to work.
You're angry with me.
395
00:16:19,506 --> 00:16:21,867
And you're not gonna like
any writer I bring in here.
396
00:16:21,892 --> 00:16:23,213
That's going to hobble Millennial
397
00:16:23,238 --> 00:16:24,904
and probably ruin Kelsey's career too.
398
00:16:24,929 --> 00:16:27,632
And that's not fair to
anyone, so I'm bowing out.
399
00:16:29,293 --> 00:16:31,506
The only thing threatening Millennial
400
00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:34,272
is the lie you've been
telling since you got here.
401
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,920
You can be mad at me. I deserve that.
402
00:16:37,058 --> 00:16:39,947
But you can't take it out on
a writer I bring in here.
403
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,876
- That's not what I did.
- So that wasn't personal?
404
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:47,104
No, uh, personal would be asking if...
405
00:16:47,129 --> 00:16:50,296
if Don dropped a trail of
breadcrumbs from his pocket
406
00:16:50,321 --> 00:16:52,266
in case you got separated
at the "People" party,
407
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:56,290
but passing on a half-baked,
poorly-conceived book idea
408
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,883
I didn't like, that's...
that's business.
409
00:17:00,104 --> 00:17:02,567
And I trust you can
see the distinction.
410
00:17:03,034 --> 00:17:05,494
- I do.
- Excellent.
411
00:17:05,761 --> 00:17:07,604
Please close the door on your way out.
412
00:17:07,629 --> 00:17:10,884
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
413
00:17:10,909 --> 00:17:12,912
[DOOR SLAMS]
414
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:16,246
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
415
00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:17,681
♪ ♪
416
00:17:17,713 --> 00:17:19,908
[DOOR BUZZES]
417
00:17:20,189 --> 00:17:22,359
- Hi.
- Hey. Where's the dog?
418
00:17:22,697 --> 00:17:24,630
I gave him back to his owner,
419
00:17:24,932 --> 00:17:26,465
after I slept with her.
420
00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:30,400
Yes. You broke your fast.
Let me get you a drink.
421
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,314
- Oh, Mags, I...
- No, no, no, no, no, come on.
422
00:17:32,339 --> 00:17:34,431
90 days without booze or sex?
423
00:17:34,456 --> 00:17:36,591
I haven't done that since grade school.
424
00:17:37,072 --> 00:17:39,736
You don't need to reset your system.
425
00:17:39,761 --> 00:17:41,619
You just need to have a
good glass of red wine,
426
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,671
and someone to complain about girls to.
427
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,728
Fine, but no gluten.
428
00:17:45,753 --> 00:17:47,654
Turns out I really do
have that allergy.
429
00:17:47,679 --> 00:17:48,940
That is not real.
430
00:17:48,965 --> 00:17:50,689
And I just smoked a big joint
431
00:17:50,714 --> 00:17:52,892
and ate all the bread in
the house, so you're good.
432
00:17:52,917 --> 00:17:54,447
[LAUGHS]
433
00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:56,260
God, you make everything better.
434
00:17:57,103 --> 00:17:58,556
[LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC]
435
00:17:58,581 --> 00:17:59,744
♪ ♪
436
00:18:02,321 --> 00:18:04,452
It's 6:00. I don't see him.
437
00:18:04,477 --> 00:18:06,095
- Well, good night.
- Oh, no, no, no.
438
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:09,344
You are going on this date.
A man fell on your lap.
439
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,541
Do you always use people's
words against them
440
00:18:11,566 --> 00:18:13,849
- like a drunk toddler?
- [HORN HONKS]
441
00:18:16,641 --> 00:18:18,793
Oh, my God, I'm going on
a date with my plumber.
442
00:18:18,818 --> 00:18:20,541
Phew.
443
00:18:20,832 --> 00:18:22,375
Sorry for honking.
444
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,905
I'm driving around for a half hour
445
00:18:23,930 --> 00:18:25,681
and the only spot I
could find is illegal.
446
00:18:25,706 --> 00:18:27,874
When you said that you
were picking me up,
447
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:31,106
I... I... I thought you meant on foot.
[LAUGHS]
448
00:18:31,131 --> 00:18:33,407
There's no good Italian food up here.
449
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,291
In Midtown?
450
00:18:35,316 --> 00:18:37,612
In Manhattan. Come on.
451
00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:40,366
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
452
00:18:40,778 --> 00:18:47,466
♪ ♪
453
00:18:52,307 --> 00:18:54,193
[CHUCKLES]
454
00:18:58,859 --> 00:19:00,862
Does Diana know?
455
00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,101
Anyone else?
456
00:19:05,201 --> 00:19:08,906
Just Kelsey. She was
upset at first, but...
457
00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:11,293
So you've both been lying to me?
458
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,220
We thought it was best for the company.
459
00:19:13,245 --> 00:19:15,897
We didn't want anyone else at
Empirical to have to lie too.
460
00:19:15,964 --> 00:19:20,016
Ah, how thoughtful of you to
spare us all that indignity.
461
00:19:21,349 --> 00:19:23,136
I'm gonna go.
462
00:19:23,592 --> 00:19:25,294
Have a good night.
463
00:19:25,319 --> 00:19:27,792
Liza, wait. J... please.
464
00:19:27,817 --> 00:19:31,901
[SIGHS] I should apologize
for crashing your meeting.
465
00:19:31,926 --> 00:19:36,306
Uh, I... I am trying to find
my way around all this,
466
00:19:36,331 --> 00:19:39,421
and I, uh... I took it out on Don.
467
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,145
And that wasn't fair.
468
00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:43,831
You're good at your job.
469
00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:48,007
Millennial needs you
to survive right now.
470
00:19:48,557 --> 00:19:51,060
And I... I don't wanna jeopardize that.
471
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,064
[SOLEMN SYNTH-POP MUSIC]
472
00:19:54,164 --> 00:19:55,866
And that's all I wanted to say.
473
00:19:55,966 --> 00:19:57,308
Good night.
474
00:19:57,408 --> 00:19:59,723
Please, just let me explain.
475
00:20:00,372 --> 00:20:02,155
Maybe if you get to know me.
476
00:20:02,524 --> 00:20:04,722
The real me.
477
00:20:04,747 --> 00:20:06,906
I... I don't think that's a good idea.
478
00:20:07,197 --> 00:20:09,403
I'm so sorry that I lied to you.
479
00:20:10,439 --> 00:20:12,796
I just... I care about you so much.
480
00:20:12,821 --> 00:20:14,511
I... I need you to know that.
481
00:20:14,536 --> 00:20:17,656
And I need you to forget about it.
482
00:20:18,404 --> 00:20:22,529
♪ ♪
483
00:20:26,835 --> 00:20:29,538
[TRADITIONAL ITALIAN MUSIC]
484
00:20:29,638 --> 00:20:32,542
♪ ♪
485
00:20:32,642 --> 00:20:35,498
This restaurant is lovely.
486
00:20:35,584 --> 00:20:37,126
Try to sound less surprised.
487
00:20:37,151 --> 00:20:39,962
- I'm sorry, it's just...
- Staten Island.
488
00:20:40,169 --> 00:20:43,105
We've got nice places too.
You just never tried 'em.
489
00:20:44,404 --> 00:20:47,081
Amy, we didn't order that.
490
00:20:49,091 --> 00:20:51,709
Compliments of Mr. De Rosa.
491
00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:56,932
♪ ♪
492
00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,658
- What?
- No, nothing.
493
00:20:58,683 --> 00:21:01,153
Just the other night at
my party we played Mafia.
494
00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:02,836
And now...
495
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,437
Okay, two things.
496
00:21:04,462 --> 00:21:07,133
One, don't say that out loud again.
497
00:21:07,158 --> 00:21:11,531
And two, Mr. D is on the City Council.
498
00:21:11,556 --> 00:21:13,259
[CHUCKLES]
499
00:21:13,284 --> 00:21:15,699
But, I mean, you... you
did something for him?
500
00:21:15,724 --> 00:21:18,093
Yeah, I put new copper
pipes in his summer house.
501
00:21:18,118 --> 00:21:20,925
Turned it around quick so he
could throw a campaign event.
502
00:21:21,332 --> 00:21:23,589
♪ ♪
503
00:21:23,675 --> 00:21:26,129
Exquisite. Who sent this over?
504
00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:27,517
I did.
505
00:21:27,542 --> 00:21:28,674
I can't let you buy that for me.
506
00:21:28,699 --> 00:21:31,077
That is a $500 bottle.
507
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,484
I know. I'm trying to impress you.
508
00:21:33,645 --> 00:21:35,827
[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
509
00:21:35,852 --> 00:21:37,244
First date. Don't get used to it.
510
00:21:37,269 --> 00:21:39,463
[CHUCKLES]
511
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,083
♪ ♪
512
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,019
We should've ordered second entrées.
513
00:21:46,044 --> 00:21:47,818
Maxed out the Empirical
expense account.
514
00:21:47,843 --> 00:21:50,483
What expense account?
Those things are relics.
515
00:21:52,303 --> 00:21:55,090
- Oh, thank you.
- Didn't go through.
516
00:21:55,115 --> 00:21:57,131
Would you like to try another card?
517
00:21:57,193 --> 00:21:59,356
Uh, okay.
518
00:22:01,164 --> 00:22:03,984
Uh... Just...
519
00:22:04,009 --> 00:22:06,082
- Can you give us a minute?
- Yeah.
520
00:22:06,107 --> 00:22:07,803
Thank you.
521
00:22:08,031 --> 00:22:10,037
Shit.
522
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,559
This is embarrassing. I
guess I'm a relic too.
523
00:22:12,584 --> 00:22:15,915
What're you talking about?
You write for "Vanity Fair."
524
00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:18,244
- And "Vogue."
- Wrote.
525
00:22:18,370 --> 00:22:19,912
Past tense.
526
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:22,191
Magazines are dying
even faster than books.
527
00:22:22,487 --> 00:22:25,320
This is what I write now.
528
00:22:26,207 --> 00:22:29,273
"You won't believe which of
these sexy stars is trans."
529
00:22:29,298 --> 00:22:30,900
- Is he?
- Nope.
530
00:22:30,925 --> 00:22:32,369
But you have to click through 19 photos
531
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,512
and 6 ads to find that out.
532
00:22:34,537 --> 00:22:37,400
I'm barely pulling in what
I made in my twenties.
533
00:22:37,794 --> 00:22:40,089
But you're out at A-list
parties every night.
534
00:22:40,114 --> 00:22:42,228
Free food. Open bar.
535
00:22:42,253 --> 00:22:44,589
- Gift bags.
- Yes. [LAUGHS]
536
00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:47,783
[CHUCKLES] Oh, God. Ohh...
537
00:22:47,808 --> 00:22:50,572
Well, look, none of us is
exactly who we say we are.
538
00:22:52,036 --> 00:22:53,938
I've been there. I'll get dinner.
539
00:22:53,963 --> 00:22:56,981
No, I can't. It is too pathetic.
540
00:22:57,006 --> 00:22:58,549
- There's a 20.
- Hey.
541
00:22:58,574 --> 00:23:01,369
Uh, this gift card has $14.
542
00:23:01,394 --> 00:23:04,403
- And for the tip.
- [CHUCKLES]
543
00:23:04,428 --> 00:23:05,873
- Solid hustle.
- Yeah.
544
00:23:05,898 --> 00:23:07,587
Could we go, before she
realizes that her tip
545
00:23:07,612 --> 00:23:09,432
- is only half a latte?
- What?
546
00:23:09,457 --> 00:23:11,564
No, I'm serious. I feel bad.
547
00:23:11,589 --> 00:23:14,570
- [LAUGHING] Okay.
- Phone, wallet, purse, go.
548
00:23:14,595 --> 00:23:16,185
Casual, casual, nothing's wrong.
549
00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:18,309
- Everything's wrong. Go.
- Okay, ah!
550
00:23:18,334 --> 00:23:20,649
She's coming. She does not look happy.
551
00:23:20,674 --> 00:23:21,920
[LAUGHS]
552
00:23:21,945 --> 00:23:24,558
Sorry. Thank you.
553
00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:25,882
Oh, God.
554
00:23:26,498 --> 00:23:28,432
[LAUGHING]
555
00:23:29,070 --> 00:23:32,395
Okay, well, we can't end
the night like that.
556
00:23:32,420 --> 00:23:35,604
Let's see. Uh... oh.
557
00:23:35,858 --> 00:23:37,724
There's a Cinema Society premiere.
558
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:40,749
I am, uh, on Andrew Saffir's list.
559
00:23:40,774 --> 00:23:43,365
- What movie?
- Uh, it doesn't matter.
560
00:23:43,390 --> 00:23:46,168
The alcohol's top shelf
and the food's great.
561
00:23:46,626 --> 00:23:48,166
Are you in?
562
00:23:49,273 --> 00:23:50,875
I'm in.
563
00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:53,280
[BLEACHERS' "EVERYBODY
LOST SOMEBODY" PLAYING]
564
00:23:53,313 --> 00:23:55,242
♪ ♪
565
00:23:55,993 --> 00:23:59,813
♪ Everybody lost somebody ♪
39813
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