subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Watch PK (2014) Online On SolarMovieX SoloarMoviez

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali Download

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam Download

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil Download

Telugu Download

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,256 How many stars sparkle in the sky? 3 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,092 Ever tried counting them? 4 00:01:55,549 --> 00:02:03,024 It would take 6,000 years to count those in our galaxy alone 5 00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:05,662 How many such galaxies exist? 6 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:09,700 Scientists reckon two billion more 7 00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:15,442 Isn't it possible that amongst these billions of celestial bodies 8 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:19,206 a planet with people like us exists? 9 00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:23,316 As we explore space looking for them, 10 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:28,026 couldn't they be coming here, looking for us? 11 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:33,502 Hindi pop SONG 12 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:22,051 What the thief stole was the gadget to recall his spaceship 13 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,719 Without this remote he could not return home 14 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:30,498 He neither knew our language, nor had a friend here 15 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:34,695 Alone, anguished, his only thought was... 16 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,072 .. how will I return home? 17 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:04,964 On the pathway of Time Life is but a brief ﬂame 18 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:11,033 In its luminous mist We wish, we dream, we exist 19 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,274 But on a beautiful bend 20 00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:17,309 A stranger may we meet 21 00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:20,542 Life after fife 22 00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:23,984 Whose memory may persist 23 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,737 Extra ticket. Anyone extra ticket? 24 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,205 - Yes sir... - I'll take it! 25 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,674 Sorry, I raised my hand first 26 00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:52,512 But I called out first 27 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,620 I'm a big fan of Mr Bachchan, the poet 28 00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,451 I'm a bigger fan of his son, the actor 29 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,522 From age ten, I know all his poems. Fully memorized 30 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,952 From age five, I know his son's dialogues - without memorizing 31 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,692 Hello, who wants it? 32 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,431 Give me. Poetry's not his cup of tea 33 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,997 €1OO 34 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,962 €1OO for a €4O ticket? Black market of poetry! 35 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,166 Queued up six long hours for this 36 00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,637 Time is money 37 00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:30,452 - Go for the dialogues. - All yours. Ladies first 38 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,253 Just a sec! Why not split the ticket? 39 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:41,295 1st half you enjoy the poetry. 2nd half I'll savor the acting 40 00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:45,001 That's a damn good idea! 41 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,069 10, 20, 30, 4O 42 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:49,732 50 more 43 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:51,698 -96 -96 44 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:57,038 €96. How about a discount? We're from the same countn/ 45 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,309 Hail India, bro! 46 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,444 Long live motherland! €100 47 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,651 Extra ticket. Anyone extra ticket? 48 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,059 Sir! 49 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,962 Can I borrow €4? Please! 50 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,689 Keep my watch till I repay 51 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,025 Please, Sir, it's the last ticket 52 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,433 Show is sold out, child. No tickets left 53 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,498 There is one left with that black marketer 54 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:29,103 Scoundrel! Giving India a bad name 55 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,079 So true! 56 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,477 Wait here. I'll get you that ticket 57 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,644 OK, Sir 58 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:36,111 Thank you 59 00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,988 Yes! 60 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,172 - Sir! - Do I know you? 61 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:01,739 Where's my ticket? 62 00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:05,015 Ticket? Yours for € 100 63 00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,049 You bloody cheat! 64 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,685 Decaying dacoit! Senile snake! Capitalist! 65 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,017 Mind your language! 66 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,354 Mind your coat first! 67 00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,118 - Now enjoy the show! - Security! 68 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,626 - Wrinkled wreck! - Security! 69 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,732 Let's get outta here 70 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,030 I'll get you for this! 71 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,734 Don't chase me... catch him! 72 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:46,087 Oldies these days! It's a spoilt generation! 73 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,156 Forget it 74 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,360 How can I? 75 00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:53,263 That bandit basks in poetry and here I am 76 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,320 Drop it 77 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:59,059 Why pine for the party that shuns us? 78 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,499 Follow the moment that beckons us 79 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,169 I too dabble in poetry 80 00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,240 It's nice. Go on 81 00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:14,282 No. Ifl go on, you'll propose to me 82 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,544 - You crazy? - I mean it! 83 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,087 Your favorite poet, senior Mr Bachchan 84 00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:23,022 met a lady one morning, wooed her with verse 85 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,592 By dusk they were married. So I've read 86 00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,129 Really? 87 00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:30,195 And boy! Look what they produced - 88 00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,561 Amitabh Bachchan - the great actor 89 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:35,370 Jaw“ 90 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:36,769 Jaggu? 91 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,498 My name 92 00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:42,110 Papa named me Jagat Janani: world's mother 93 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:46,407 I got mocked at school so I shortened it - Jaggu 94 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,480 - From Mumbai? - No. Delhi 95 00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,416 I'm studying TV production 96 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,613 And you? 97 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,719 Sarfaraz. I study architecture 98 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,089 and work pan time at the Pakistan Embassy 99 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,397 Pakistan Embassy? Why? 100 00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,994 Well, I'm from Pakistan 101 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:06,636 Unlikely the Indian Embassy will employ me! 102 00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,471 What's wrong? 103 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,438 Nothing 104 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:21,276 My being from Pakistan perturbs you? 105 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,283 Alright then 106 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,658 Goodbye 107 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:49,339 Ask not my name, nor my country 108 00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:55,710 From bondage of borders break free 109 00:12:56,743 --> 00:13:02,284 A few steps on this brief journey 110 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:08,227 Come, just walk with me 111 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:22,041 Ask not my name, nor my country 112 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,474 From bondage of borders break free 113 00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:30,152 A few steps on this brief journey 114 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,616 Come, just walk with me 115 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:38,054 Past the realms of word and speech 116 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:41,488 Hand in hand, nowhere to reach 117 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:46,026 A few steps on this brief journey 118 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,234 Come, just walk with me 119 00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:53,772 Past the realms of word and speech 120 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,606 Hand in hand, nowhere to reach 121 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,244 A few steps on this brief journey 122 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:06,489 Come, just walk with me 123 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:30,309 If the sun scorches the pathway 124 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:34,050 A carpet of shade will I lay 125 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:38,319 If darkness ﬁlls you with dismay 126 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:42,218 I'll conjure up a moon in the sky 127 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:46,324 If dejection fills up your day 128 00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:50,190 With laughter H! shoo it away 129 00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:54,365 Laughing, frolicking, humming a song 130 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,131 Together we shall walk along 131 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:20,090 With you, my fellow traveler 132 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,298 Nothing in this world I fear 133 00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:28,271 Why a few steps, a whole lifelong 134 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,635 With you I'll walk along 135 00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:36,111 Past the realms of word and speech 136 00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:39,679 Hand in hand, nowhere to reach 137 00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:44,149 A few steps on this brief journey 138 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:48,255 Come, just walk with me 139 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,991 - Thank you - Thank you 140 00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,161 Mom! 141 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,103 Papa! 142 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,640 She's fallen in love! 143 00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,369 Fallen in love? 144 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,137 He's so cute! 145 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:42,706 More photos please! 146 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,672 What's his job? What's his family like? 147 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,216 Calm down Mom. I'll tell you 148 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,443 First, the name 149 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,313 Sarfaraz 150 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,521 Muslim? 151 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:59,025 Yes. Studies architecture. Family is in Pakistan 152 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,426 Pakistan! Which Pakistan? 153 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,224 There's just one Pakistan, Mom 154 00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:04,298 You'll wear burkhas? 155 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,594 Read the Quran? Have you gone mad? 156 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,605 Don't you disconnect. Stay put 157 00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,236 Stan the car 158 00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:13,477 Ali's doomed, Your Holiness. Help! 159 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,536 I knew exactly where Papa was headed 160 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:21,349 Since childhood one face had surrounded us: His Holiness 161 00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,180 Bye Mom 162 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,650 From bags to bathroom walls, 163 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,050 he was omnipresent 164 00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:35,998 Even for a root canal he would set the auspicious time 165 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:42,462 He had gifted Papa a God box with a deity for every task 166 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:47,443 Goddess of Wealth for the stock market 167 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:52,506 God of Health for workouts 168 00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:56,348 Web-based worship and sacred sweets by courier 169 00:17:56,542 --> 00:18:00,615 were his innovations 170 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:07,555 Hail, Your Holiness 171 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,091 Hail, Your Holiness 172 00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:15,537 Touch his feet Jaggu 173 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:28,983 Why this fatal infatuation? 174 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:32,551 Pick up a pen and write 175 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,353 God 176 00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,123 Enlighten me 177 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,291 Yes... 178 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,033 Yes... 179 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,403 Your wish is our command 180 00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,076 Write down the prophecy 181 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,436 This Pakistani boy, 182 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,304 Sarfaraz, 183 00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,015 will betray you 184 00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:01,344 I know he won't 185 00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:09,426 History stands witness: these people scheme and betray 186 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:13,290 He will pursue carnal pleasures 187 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:16,629 But will never marry you. He'll vanish 188 00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:21,631 Come home now! One more night there, and you're dead to us 189 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,641 Mr Sahni, I'll talk to her 190 00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:28,667 Child, hit the delete button 191 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:32,239 Banish him from your system 192 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,012 Hello! 193 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:41,656 What happened? 194 00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,024 Do you love me? 195 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,191 Of course I do. Why? 196 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:51,001 - Will you marn/ me? - What's the matter? 197 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:52,124 Yes or no, Sarfaraz? 198 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,302 - Yes, but... - Tomorrow 199 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,538 Tomorrow? 200 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,367 Tomorrow we get married 201 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,070 His prophecy is wrong. I'll prove it 202 00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:19,252 Mr James Herrick and Miss Oprah Brown, you're next 203 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:22,465 - James isn't here, yet. - Oh, talk to the registrar 204 00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:25,231 Could you just hold this please? 205 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,697 - Yes of course. - Thank you 206 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,434 Hello... 207 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,504 This is for you 208 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,677 - For me? - Yeah 209 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,544 Thank you 210 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,613 It was from Sarfaraz 211 00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:46,281 He said: marriage isn'tjust between individuals, but families 212 00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:49,626 Our faiths, countries, cultures are different 213 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,595 We can never be happy if our families are unhappy 214 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,198 Don't try to contact me 215 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:56,798 I'm sorry 216 00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,216 Where to go young |adV? 217 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:20,649 New Delhi 218 00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:29,056 I came back to my city, but my parents refused to see me 219 00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:31,201 I joined a news channel as a reporter 220 00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,630 Today's story: a depressed dog 221 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,300 That's our breaking news! 222 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:39,201 Some days we had news, some days we fabricated it 223 00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:02,725 Missing: God 224 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,432 If found, contact Tipsy 225 00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:12,608 There's a story in this man. I'll see you at office 226 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,602 Don't be late! 227 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,284 Excuse me? 228 00:22:29,648 --> 00:22:31,286 Why are you handing these out? 229 00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:34,031 I have a case pending with Him 230 00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:36,233 He neither solves it, nor meets me 231 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,729 My life is kaput 232 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,562 He's gone into hiding 233 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:46,270 Have you seen Him around? 234 00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:49,075 No 235 00:22:51,637 --> 00:23:00,216 Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother 236 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:04,657 Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother 237 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,257 By the way, what's with the helmet? 238 00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:09,532 Got the idea from taxi-tops 239 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,628 Yellow yells out from miles 240 00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:16,062 Taxis are spotted easily in traffic 241 00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:20,000 - So? - So God can spot me easy! 242 00:23:20,266 --> 00:23:24,373 How else will he spot me in this crowd? 243 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:35,115 A bit to your left - perfect! 244 00:23:35,314 --> 00:23:36,588 Ok, background? 245 00:23:37,182 --> 00:23:38,525 Cue .3899“ 246 00:23:39,385 --> 00:23:42,229 They say animals are not suicidal 247 00:23:42,555 --> 00:23:46,662 Here's Nikku. Mr Sweetie Singh's dog 248 00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:50,773 Nikku has attempted suicide thrice 249 00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:56,571 Jumping off a roof, licking sleeping pills, hopping onto a gas burner 250 00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:59,073 What's wrong with Nikku? 251 00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:02,311 Is Nikku prey to a mental problem? 252 00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:04,316 Is Nikku... 253 00:24:06,478 --> 00:24:08,219 What's wrong Jaggu? 254 00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:10,355 What is this shit, Mitu? 255 00:24:14,587 --> 00:24:18,091 Our chat with famed industrialist Mr Ratan continues 256 00:24:18,157 --> 00:24:20,000 right after this break 257 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:23,534 Going well, Ratan? Some coffee? 258 00:24:23,996 --> 00:24:25,270 Get him some coffee 259 00:24:25,431 --> 00:24:27,502 - Chem]... - Oh no! 260 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:31,103 What's your guess? This dog has depression, anxiety disorder, 261 00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:34,546 schizophrenia, or ADHD? 262 00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:36,678 Whatever, why would I care? 263 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,010 Exactly 264 00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:43,023 Why would anyone care? Then why do we air such bull? 265 00:24:43,716 --> 00:24:45,559 What would you rather air? 266 00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:48,028 Hold him please 267 00:24:49,722 --> 00:24:50,757 See this? 268 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:54,228 I met a guy distributing these pamphlets 269 00:24:54,593 --> 00:24:57,369 - He is searching for God. - Found Him? 270 00:24:58,030 --> 00:24:59,532 No... but 271 00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:03,978 Searching for God - that's religion. Finding God - that's news 272 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,483 If he finds God, get him. I'll put him on air 273 00:25:06,705 --> 00:25:08,548 You know the Company policy 274 00:25:08,974 --> 00:25:11,284 No news on religion, no news on God. Finished 275 00:25:11,977 --> 00:25:13,183 Man, you've changed! 276 00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:15,616 Where's the fighter, Chern/ Bajwa? 277 00:25:16,115 --> 00:25:18,493 You wanna see the fighter? 278 00:25:19,118 --> 00:25:20,597 Take a good look 279 00:25:21,153 --> 00:25:23,531 There are three marks here 280 00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:25,534 These aren't birthmarks 281 00:25:25,657 --> 00:25:30,072 I ran a show against His Holiness, your Dad's Guru 282 00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:33,572 His devotees shoved a trident right here in my bum 283 00:25:34,066 --> 00:25:36,478 Anchor coming to you in 10 seconds 284 00:25:36,602 --> 00:25:39,208 That day I swore - if you want to live in this country 285 00:25:39,471 --> 00:25:41,178 don't mess with religion. That's it 286 00:25:41,307 --> 00:25:43,287 - I've got a show to run now. - 5... 4... 287 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,012 3... 288 00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:44,748 2... 289 00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:45,678 1... 290 00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:47,282 Welcome back from the break 291 00:25:47,513 --> 00:25:50,551 We were chatting with famed industrialist Mr Ratan... 292 00:25:50,749 --> 00:25:53,628 The boss killed my story 293 00:25:54,019 --> 00:25:58,024 But it came back to life two weeks later 294 00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:40,336 [ DONATION BOX] 295 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,182 Stop! Thief! 296 00:26:48,507 --> 00:26:52,512 He's stealing from the donation box! 297 00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:11,672 Don't let him go! 298 00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:21,674 Lifting from the donation box, you fool? 299 00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:22,475 Yes 300 00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:24,316 He's no thief! 301 00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:28,056 While donating my wallet fell in the box 302 00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,423 He was getting it out for me 303 00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:32,288 Trust me 304 00:27:32,551 --> 00:27:37,159 Check for yourself. It has Rs 5,000 in it 305 00:27:53,572 --> 00:27:55,347 - That's mine! - It was 306 00:27:55,607 --> 00:27:57,746 Once in the box, it's donated 307 00:27:58,143 --> 00:28:01,147 Now, it's God's. Let them go 308 00:28:02,147 --> 00:28:04,627 Dude, what the hell were you up to? 309 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,128 Claiming my refund 310 00:28:06,285 --> 00:28:08,196 God took His fee but didn't deliver 311 00:28:08,253 --> 00:28:09,960 Hang on... 312 00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:14,393 I saw you fish out some money, then put some back in 313 00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:19,306 I took back what I'd paid at this branch. Returned the rest 314 00:28:20,299 --> 00:28:22,438 You used to wear beads and amulets? 315 00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:24,572 Rejected. Gone for good 316 00:28:25,070 --> 00:28:27,573 Why the stickers then? 317 00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:30,313 Self-defense! 318 00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:34,047 God pics on walls - prevent peeing 319 00:28:34,279 --> 00:28:37,419 on face - prevent punches 320 00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:44,992 Mitu, where are you? 321 00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:47,602 Pick me up. I've no money to get home 322 00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:49,266 I'll fill you in later 323 00:28:49,528 --> 00:28:53,032 I'm at Mudrika, outside the temple 324 00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:55,467 Hurry. Thanks, bye 325 00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:58,513 Here you go 326 00:28:59,004 --> 00:29:02,042 - For what? - For the ride home 327 00:29:02,374 --> 00:29:06,982 When someone can't get home, I feel sad 328 00:29:08,614 --> 00:29:11,993 - Wait. - That's all I had 329 00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,288 I can't accept this 330 00:29:14,653 --> 00:29:18,567 - Why? - Won't you need it to get home? 331 00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:26,973 Money can't get me home 332 00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:30,046 Why? Where do you live? 333 00:29:38,010 --> 00:29:41,514 In the step-well ruins 334 00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:47,687 But in this rainy season, I check into a lock-up 335 00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:51,026 Lock-up! As in police lock-up? 336 00:29:51,256 --> 00:29:54,999 There are 122 in the city. I yo-yo between them 337 00:29:55,193 --> 00:29:58,436 And they let you check in, like a hotel? 338 00:29:58,697 --> 00:30:01,303 Come. I'll give you a demo 339 00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:06,607 [Signi DO NOT URINATE HERE] 340 00:30:10,576 --> 00:30:12,146 Just watch! 341 00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,716 [Signi DO NOT URINATE HERE] 342 00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:19,152 Hey, copper - look here proper! 343 00:30:34,399 --> 00:30:36,743 I'll show you proper! 344 00:30:46,645 --> 00:30:48,318 Jaggu! 345 00:30:51,083 --> 00:30:53,085 We have to follow that van 346 00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:56,166 - Who are we chasing? - A ston/ 347 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:13,179 Gimme your wallet. I need cash 348 00:31:14,272 --> 00:31:16,616 Hurry! Thanks. Bye 349 00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:30,429 Excuse me? 350 00:31:31,423 --> 00:31:32,333 Yes? 351 00:31:32,491 --> 00:31:35,131 I want to go inside the lock-up 352 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:36,466 Why? 353 00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:39,535 To meet that guy 354 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:43,770 You think this is the local coffee joint, huh? 355 00:31:44,036 --> 00:31:47,381 Saunter in and chillax with your buddies? 356 00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:49,175 This is a lock-up, get it? 357 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:53,386 Only offenders get in 358 00:31:55,213 --> 00:31:57,318 Bribing is an offence! 359 00:31:58,116 --> 00:32:01,063 That's why I'm committing it! 360 00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:02,131 I can lock you in 361 00:32:02,187 --> 00:32:04,292 Please do... ASAP! 362 00:32:11,496 --> 00:32:14,534 - Thank you, Mr Pandey. - One hour, that's it 363 00:32:14,699 --> 00:32:16,235 I-li 364 00:32:17,402 --> 00:32:21,748 I want your story. Will you share it? 365 00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:23,483 Why? 366 00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:27,053 I'm a IV reporter. It's my job 367 00:32:39,591 --> 00:32:44,438 - Go on, ask. - Awesome! 368 00:32:49,234 --> 00:32:51,475 Your name? 369 00:32:52,337 --> 00:32:54,248 Don't have a name 370 00:32:54,339 --> 00:32:57,047 They call me Tipsy here. Beats me why 371 00:32:57,109 --> 00:32:59,487 And what do you do? 372 00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:04,125 I'm an astronaut 373 00:33:05,684 --> 00:33:07,288 Astronaut! 374 00:33:07,552 --> 00:33:09,998 Those who shoot off to the moon? 375 00:33:10,288 --> 00:33:13,497 Been there once. It's kaput 376 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,696 Sure! 377 00:33:17,362 --> 00:33:19,171 So what's your favorite planet? 378 00:33:19,231 --> 00:33:22,212 - My own. - I meant besides Earth? 379 00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:24,471 Eaﬂh is mega-kaput 380 00:33:24,703 --> 00:33:27,274 I meant my own planet 381 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:35,014 It'll show up there at night 382 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,721 We went bananas, 383 00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:43,132 when we found another planet with people like us 384 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:46,259 I was sent here on a research mission 385 00:33:46,391 --> 00:33:48,302 Boy, what a welcome I got! 386 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,733 My remote got robbed 387 00:33:51,563 --> 00:33:55,101 Without it, I can't signal my people 388 00:33:55,166 --> 00:33:58,306 and without a signal they won't come for me 389 00:33:58,603 --> 00:34:01,277 They'll think it's a perilous planet 390 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,080 That I'm dead as a dodo 391 00:34:08,513 --> 00:34:09,321 Hello! 392 00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:10,993 - Listen... - What? 393 00:34:11,249 --> 00:34:12,728 Let me out. I want to go home 394 00:34:13,151 --> 00:34:17,122 Your Highness, convicts don't decide that. Cops do 395 00:34:17,289 --> 00:34:18,666 I'm not a thief 396 00:34:18,990 --> 00:34:20,401 So say all the thieves 397 00:34:20,692 --> 00:34:22,993 Where's officer Pandey? 398 00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:24,530 Out on his rounds 399 00:34:25,263 --> 00:34:27,004 Officer Pandey! 400 00:34:28,099 --> 00:34:28,577 Officer Pandey! 401 00:34:28,633 --> 00:34:31,705 Shut up, or you get a knuckle sandwich 402 00:34:51,456 --> 00:34:54,300 You think I'm talking baloney? 403 00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:56,505 Obviously! 404 00:34:57,028 --> 00:34:59,201 Is Hindi the official language of your planet? 405 00:34:59,297 --> 00:35:01,106 On our planet... 406 00:35:01,666 --> 00:35:04,374 .. there's no language! 407 00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:07,377 We read minds. There's no confusion 408 00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:10,587 Here, you utter something and mean something else 409 00:35:10,642 --> 00:35:13,020 A two-letter word can have four different meanings 410 00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:18,258 When you nod and say “oh“, it means “Oh, that's cool“ 411 00:35:19,517 --> 00:35:22,726 When your eyes pop out, "oh!" means bad news 412 00:35:23,154 --> 00:35:25,998 “Your mother-in-law is moving in.“ “Oh!“ 413 00:35:27,058 --> 00:35:29,470 When angry, you thunder 414 00:35:29,728 --> 00:35:33,198 "Oh! You'll pay for that blunder!" 415 00:35:33,532 --> 00:35:36,445 And when your thought is deep, your "oh" is long! 416 00:35:37,269 --> 00:35:39,613 "Ohhhhhhh! I see!" 417 00:35:40,538 --> 00:35:43,747 As you hear the words, you gotta watch the expression 418 00:35:44,009 --> 00:35:46,011 to get the real meaning 419 00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:50,219 It's torture! Took full 6 hours to learn Hindi 420 00:35:50,348 --> 00:35:53,454 A whole language in 6 hours? 421 00:35:53,518 --> 00:35:56,124 No one let me hold hands 422 00:35:56,554 --> 00:35:58,693 Finally, a nice lady lent her hand 423 00:35:58,757 --> 00:36:02,637 I held it and transferred her language into my system 424 00:36:02,694 --> 00:36:07,575 Man, there's no limit to your whoppers! 425 00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:10,203 Is your hand a USB cable, 426 00:36:10,468 --> 00:36:14,211 that transfers files between computers? 427 00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:18,249 And your clothes? Are faded jeans the rage on your planet too? 428 00:36:18,410 --> 00:36:19,980 Noooo! 429 00:36:20,245 --> 00:36:21,383 On our planet... 430 00:36:21,613 --> 00:36:25,652 .. no one wears clothes. There we go bare 431 00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:28,996 Here, at first I thought 432 00:36:29,487 --> 00:36:32,991 your skins were different from ours 433 00:36:33,492 --> 00:36:35,665 Some had sparkly hides, 434 00:36:35,994 --> 00:36:38,600 some jet black 435 00:36:39,664 --> 00:36:42,645 Some hides were colorful, some white 436 00:36:43,568 --> 00:36:47,573 Some hides sticky-tight, some baggy 437 00:36:49,608 --> 00:36:52,521 Then one day I found a car 438 00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:54,121 A dancing car 439 00:37:00,318 --> 00:37:05,700 That day I realized our skins were the same 440 00:37:06,091 --> 00:37:10,972 but yours are covered with a thing called fashion 441 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:19,010 Radio Commercial 442 00:37:19,170 --> 00:37:22,447 Now I could mingle 443 00:37:22,707 --> 00:37:26,450 Yet I was mocked 444 00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:30,556 Look here - half man, half woman! 445 00:37:31,716 --> 00:37:33,320 Slowly I got it 446 00:37:33,451 --> 00:37:36,489 There's man - fashion and woman - fashion 447 00:37:37,288 --> 00:37:38,562 There was day fashion... 448 00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:40,492 .. and night fashion 449 00:37:40,992 --> 00:37:42,232 Sporting fashion... 450 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:44,035 .. and sewing fashion 451 00:37:47,032 --> 00:37:51,003 With the clothes, I found some photos 452 00:38:03,314 --> 00:38:08,696 It hit me - these photos meant survival 453 00:38:09,487 --> 00:38:12,297 You could swap them for food 454 00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:15,961 Sol built a portfolio of this old man's photos 455 00:38:31,543 --> 00:38:33,318 What's this? 456 00:38:37,449 --> 00:38:39,725 What are these for? 457 00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:45,326 Why are you giving me this junk? 458 00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:50,336 Right! Now we're talking! 459 00:38:50,595 --> 00:38:52,370 Here you go 460 00:38:53,365 --> 00:38:57,507 I got it: this photo had value on just one kind of paper 461 00:38:58,036 --> 00:39:02,246 On any other paper, it was worthless 462 00:39:04,442 --> 00:39:08,015 For cash and clothes, dancing cars were widely available 463 00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:11,218 They were my bank, they were my tailor! 464 00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:15,361 Once, I got such magnetic attire 465 00:39:15,587 --> 00:39:18,568 that no photos were needed 466 00:39:18,623 --> 00:39:20,967 Food was pulled to me 467 00:39:21,126 --> 00:39:22,969 For you, Sir 468 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:29,167 Now, to find my remote, I had to learn this planet's language 469 00:39:29,334 --> 00:39:32,440 Without it, every task was a trial 470 00:39:32,971 --> 00:39:34,507 Like telling this gentleman 471 00:39:34,639 --> 00:39:38,280 there was a defect in his fashion 472 00:39:45,150 --> 00:39:48,427 i felt i had spoilt his fashion 473 00:39:50,088 --> 00:39:53,126 So I put it back where it was 474 00:40:14,145 --> 00:40:20,118 [Radio Announcement] 475 00:40:24,022 --> 00:40:25,501 Found him on the road 476 00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:28,228 Some scumbag hit him and bolted 477 00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:31,064 Seems pretty okay, 478 00:40:32,230 --> 00:40:34,335 but isn't responding 479 00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:37,476 Has his eardrum called it a day? 480 00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:39,715 Are you deaf? 481 00:40:40,238 --> 00:40:43,651 Can hear alright, but isn't talking 482 00:40:44,342 --> 00:40:46,549 Seems in a state of shock 483 00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:50,055 Memory loss, I'm afraid 484 00:41:00,558 --> 00:41:03,539 Remember the scumbag who hit you? 485 00:41:05,730 --> 00:41:08,142 Remember the license plate? 486 00:41:09,267 --> 00:41:12,476 Remember anything at all? 487 00:41:40,765 --> 00:41:44,235 Come my friend. Come with me 488 00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:49,375 Be my guest till you get your memory back 489 00:41:51,543 --> 00:41:53,614 Keep slamming your head 490 00:41:54,078 --> 00:41:59,391 One knock took your memory away, another might bring it back 491 00:41:59,584 --> 00:42:01,188 Seen it in the movies 492 00:42:01,252 --> 00:42:03,596 To figure what he was yapping about, 493 00:42:03,655 --> 00:42:08,035 I had to hold his hand and transfer his language 494 00:42:10,295 --> 00:42:12,002 Hey! 495 00:42:13,565 --> 00:42:17,012 With memon/ loss your gender sense went for a toss? 496 00:42:17,235 --> 00:42:18,145 Wait a moment... 497 00:42:19,204 --> 00:42:20,615 See this - my license 498 00:42:21,105 --> 00:42:22,516 Sex: MALE 499 00:42:23,007 --> 00:42:23,576 Man... 500 00:42:24,008 --> 00:42:26,682 rogue, rascal, scumbag 501 00:42:28,346 --> 00:42:33,352 To return home I had to hold someone's hand 502 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:53,405 Here comes my zany guest 503 00:42:56,541 --> 00:43:00,182 Can't tell guy from gal Happily hits on all 504 00:43:03,514 --> 00:43:06,620 Here comes my zany guest 505 00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:10,294 Can't tell guy from gal Happily hits on all 506 00:43:10,521 --> 00:43:14,094 Your frantic antics if not stilled, will surely get me killed! 507 00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:17,068 Don't be a scourge Do curb your urge 508 00:43:17,996 --> 00:43:24,675 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 509 00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:34,019 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 510 00:44:10,715 --> 00:44:14,424 Tourist in tacky gear are you from near or far 511 00:44:14,585 --> 00:44:17,725 From Mumbai, Madrid or Madagascar 512 00:44:18,289 --> 00:44:21,429 Tourist in tacky gear are you from near or far 513 00:44:21,626 --> 00:44:25,005 From Mumbai, Madrid or Madagascar 514 00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:32,072 What was your name at school Was it nerdy or was it cool? 515 00:44:32,236 --> 00:44:39,017 What was your name at school Was it nerdy or was it cool? 516 00:44:39,277 --> 00:44:42,747 What's the zip code Of your abode 517 00:44:43,114 --> 00:44:46,493 Did you alight from a cloud Or sprout from underground 518 00:44:46,551 --> 00:44:50,192 Your frantic antics if not stilled, will surely get me killed! 519 00:44:50,421 --> 00:44:53,197 Don't be a scourge Do curb your urge 520 00:44:54,025 --> 00:45:01,034 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 521 00:45:02,967 --> 00:45:09,248 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 522 00:45:11,642 --> 00:45:15,556 This memory loss is a blessing 523 00:45:18,983 --> 00:45:22,123 This memory loss is a blessing 524 00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:25,599 Feuds forgotten lenders leﬁ guessing 525 00:45:25,690 --> 00:45:27,260 Lovable lad 526 00:45:27,525 --> 00:45:29,095 Innocent cad 527 00:45:29,527 --> 00:45:32,565 Don't be a scourge Do curb your urge 528 00:45:33,164 --> 00:45:39,274 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 529 00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:48,581 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 530 00:46:18,576 --> 00:46:25,016 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 531 00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,124 Here comes the lusty lad! 532 00:46:27,251 --> 00:46:28,594 Here comes the lusty lad! 533 00:46:28,653 --> 00:46:32,100 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 534 00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:44,238 I feel your pain, bro 535 00:46:44,702 --> 00:46:46,545 But don't go grabbing hands 536 00:46:47,572 --> 00:46:52,453 You may end up in bed, but most likely a hospital bed 537 00:46:55,713 --> 00:46:59,525 Don't give up, I know place for you 538 00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:14,965 Hand, foot - hold whatever 539 00:47:15,132 --> 00:47:16,975 No one will bash you here 540 00:47:17,235 --> 00:47:18,270 Come 541 00:47:18,503 --> 00:47:23,248 What a neighborhood! Virtuous, welcoming women 542 00:47:23,641 --> 00:47:27,088 All reaching for my hand, inviting me home 543 00:47:27,411 --> 00:47:31,689 Here I met a serene and gentle woman, Pepper 544 00:47:31,983 --> 00:47:35,521 Pepper, take him to the honeymoon suite 545 00:48:24,669 --> 00:48:26,706 Pepper sat patiently all night 546 00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:32,145 For full 6 hours, I transferred her language ﬁles 547 00:48:32,576 --> 00:48:38,083 ABC - XYZ, I drew in everything 548 00:48:48,526 --> 00:48:53,566 First time?... Kaput before you kicked off? 549 00:48:58,703 --> 00:49:00,705 Y---V--- yes! 550 00:49:02,106 --> 00:49:04,552 Where are you from? 551 00:49:07,511 --> 00:49:10,082 Far, far away 552 00:49:10,981 --> 00:49:14,019 From an unheard of village 553 00:49:14,218 --> 00:49:16,664 But you speak my lingo! 554 00:49:17,188 --> 00:49:22,035 Because I learnt it from you, Sister 555 00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:26,040 Sister! You think this is a convent? Out! 556 00:49:28,165 --> 00:49:29,007 Bro! 557 00:49:30,234 --> 00:49:32,214 Bro, wake up! 558 00:49:33,004 --> 00:49:34,381 Bro, wake up! 559 00:49:35,172 --> 00:49:36,048 Bro! 560 00:49:37,375 --> 00:49:38,979 You're talking! 561 00:49:39,010 --> 00:49:41,616 Bro, I need your help 562 00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:44,016 Pepper cleared up your throat! 563 00:49:44,181 --> 00:49:45,990 Bro, come with me quick 564 00:49:46,016 --> 00:49:48,724 Memory and making out have a direct connection! 565 00:49:49,553 --> 00:49:54,024 Update the docs: get laid, get well! 566 00:49:54,125 --> 00:49:56,469 It's urgent, bro! 567 00:49:56,660 --> 00:49:57,695 Okay, let's go 568 00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:06,345 Stop... stop! 569 00:50:06,504 --> 00:50:08,415 Stop, bro! 570 00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:15,684 The jerk robbed me right here 571 00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:19,057 I need my chain, bro. I must get it back 572 00:50:19,216 --> 00:50:21,127 - Precious? - It's priceless! 573 00:50:21,652 --> 00:50:24,360 The thief must be a local 574 00:50:24,722 --> 00:50:27,532 But he'll sell the loot in Delhi 575 00:50:27,658 --> 00:50:31,299 If he sold pricey stuff here, he'd get caught 576 00:50:32,329 --> 00:50:34,206 Then I must go 577 00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:36,172 Where? 578 00:50:36,767 --> 00:50:38,075 Delhi 579 00:51:02,026 --> 00:51:03,505 - Officer! - Yeah? 580 00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:07,166 - My remote control is stolen. - Are you tipsy? 581 00:51:07,431 --> 00:51:10,378 Expect the police force to track your TV remote? 582 00:51:11,035 --> 00:51:13,709 - It's not a TV remote! - Then? 583 00:51:14,672 --> 00:51:18,119 Can't tell you. But it's like a chain 584 00:51:18,175 --> 00:51:19,586 Really precious 585 00:51:20,010 --> 00:51:22,513 - Where was it stolen? - In Mandawa 586 00:51:23,514 --> 00:51:27,462 And you're searching in Delhi, you idiot? 587 00:51:28,052 --> 00:51:29,725 The thief came to Delhi 588 00:51:30,020 --> 00:51:32,022 - So? - So where's the thief? 589 00:51:32,056 --> 00:51:35,037 Blockhead! It's a city of 15 million 590 00:51:35,159 --> 00:51:40,131 Police are human, not God 591 00:51:41,532 --> 00:51:45,173 Only God can help you 592 00:51:46,237 --> 00:51:51,687 Surrender to God, you'll succeed 593 00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:56,421 Only God knows 594 00:51:56,613 --> 00:52:00,356 Ask God, not me! 595 00:52:01,252 --> 00:52:04,631 Trust in God, my child 596 00:52:05,089 --> 00:52:10,471 Who was this God chap? AH said only He could help 597 00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:14,132 What I saw blew my mind 598 00:52:14,398 --> 00:52:18,244 Earthlings had figured out who had manufactured them! 599 00:52:18,602 --> 00:52:23,017 Their creator lived with them. He had millions of houses 600 00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:29,589 Earthlings took their problems to Him, which He solved for a small fee 601 00:52:30,114 --> 00:52:33,687 My planet had no such facility 602 00:52:34,118 --> 00:52:39,067 I could not believe it! So decided to test it 603 00:52:41,058 --> 00:52:43,060 One take-away God 604 00:52:43,093 --> 00:52:46,472 Which one? Rs 20, 100, 500? 605 00:52:47,031 --> 00:52:50,342 Any difference? In the Rs 20 and Rs 500 ones? 606 00:52:50,534 --> 00:52:52,605 Just the size. Otherwise ditto 607 00:52:52,670 --> 00:52:56,277 Rs 20 God is equally efficient? 608 00:52:57,308 --> 00:53:01,051 OK, gimme R515! Nothing less 609 00:53:13,724 --> 00:53:18,139 God, I am famished. Get me some food please 610 00:53:30,107 --> 00:53:31,609 I went bananas 611 00:53:32,176 --> 00:53:36,147 God actually worked! Now I could go home 612 00:53:36,213 --> 00:53:39,217 God, my remote is stolen 613 00:53:39,450 --> 00:53:42,590 Please find it. I want to go home 614 00:53:56,033 --> 00:54:00,140 God's batten] died. Worked once, then kaput 615 00:54:00,204 --> 00:54:01,649 What do you mean? 616 00:54:01,705 --> 00:54:04,185 Stick a new batten] in. Where does it go? 617 00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:07,347 - It needs no batten]. - Then why is it off? 618 00:54:07,645 --> 00:54:11,354 - Manufacturing defect? - I make no defective stuff 619 00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:17,195 - You made this God? - Of course! With my own hands 620 00:54:17,688 --> 00:54:20,669 You made God, or God made you? 621 00:54:20,991 --> 00:54:26,031 He made us all- I only make His statues 622 00:54:26,163 --> 00:54:28,336 Why the statues? 623 00:54:28,432 --> 00:54:32,278 To worship Him. To voice our problems 624 00:54:32,569 --> 00:54:37,040 Is there a transmitter inside? How can He hear us? 625 00:54:38,008 --> 00:54:42,616 God needs no transmitter. He hears directly 626 00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,661 Directly? Then why the statue? 627 00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:48,530 What's with him? 628 00:54:49,453 --> 00:54:53,265 Want to bust my business? What's your problem? 629 00:54:54,058 --> 00:54:56,038 My remote is stolen, Sir 630 00:54:56,193 --> 00:54:59,470 I'm requesting God. But He doesn't reply 631 00:55:00,030 --> 00:55:02,010 ' Are YOU tipsy? - Meaning? 632 00:55:02,032 --> 00:55:05,172 You're overloading this pint-sized God 633 00:55:05,202 --> 00:55:07,978 His itty-bitty feet can't chase the thief 634 00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:11,110 Bother the big God inside the temple 635 00:55:11,508 --> 00:55:14,011 He'll run fast 636 00:55:14,044 --> 00:55:17,617 Offer Him coconut and money - He'll deliver 637 00:55:17,681 --> 00:55:19,627 Thafll be Rs 200 638 00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:29,365 Earthlings waited with fees to get their work done 639 00:55:29,693 --> 00:55:32,503 Full 2 hours later I got the appointment 640 00:55:32,663 --> 00:55:34,165 God, 641 00:55:35,699 --> 00:55:39,203 please get my remote back 642 00:55:41,205 --> 00:55:43,276 - Where is it? - Move! 643 00:55:43,474 --> 00:55:45,351 Wait, He didn't deliver my stuff 644 00:55:45,642 --> 00:55:50,091 He didn't deliver! See, I paid His fee 645 00:55:50,147 --> 00:55:52,149 - Your work will be done. - But when? 646 00:55:52,216 --> 00:55:54,628 Can't say when, but it will be done 647 00:55:54,751 --> 00:55:57,561 - Move on. - But when will I get it? 648 00:55:57,621 --> 00:55:59,328 Don't block the line, scram! 649 00:55:59,423 --> 00:56:02,131 If I scram, someone else may get it 650 00:56:02,192 --> 00:56:03,034 Are you tipsy? 651 00:56:03,093 --> 00:56:07,007 Lady, please! Where will I get my stuff? 652 00:56:07,064 --> 00:56:08,975 At the mental hospital! 653 00:56:09,066 --> 00:56:12,980 What? Cash here, delivery at mental hospital! 654 00:56:13,003 --> 00:56:15,244 - Throw him out! - OK, give me a receipt 655 00:56:15,339 --> 00:56:16,113 Out! 656 00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:19,517 Without a receipt how do I claim my delivenj? 657 00:56:19,576 --> 00:56:22,079 Get out! 658 00:56:22,146 --> 00:56:23,318 But my remote? 659 00:56:23,447 --> 00:56:24,619 Leave! 660 00:56:32,522 --> 00:56:35,298 I can't find my shoes 661 00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:39,037 Someone's taken them. Now you take your pick 662 00:56:39,330 --> 00:56:42,277 Rotation is routine at temples 663 00:56:55,612 --> 00:57:00,186 He took the payment, didn't deliver 664 00:57:04,088 --> 00:57:05,362 What's his name? 665 00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:07,561 - They call Him God - Real name? 666 00:57:08,025 --> 00:57:09,470 No idea 667 00:57:11,128 --> 00:57:12,300 Where does he live? 668 00:57:13,063 --> 00:57:15,065 In that temple 669 00:57:15,265 --> 00:57:19,077 - You handed him the cash? - No. Put it in His box 670 00:57:19,136 --> 00:57:21,707 - Said he'd do the job? - He says nothing 671 00:57:21,972 --> 00:57:23,474 Is he mute? 672 00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,347 Perhaps... maybe 673 00:57:25,976 --> 00:57:27,512 Oh... 674 00:57:29,146 --> 00:57:31,217 Describe him 675 00:57:34,017 --> 00:57:35,997 Ditto 676 00:57:37,688 --> 00:57:40,259 But a bigger chap 677 00:57:41,225 --> 00:57:42,499 Come near... 678 00:57:44,394 --> 00:57:45,737 Are you tipsy? 679 00:57:46,530 --> 00:57:49,340 Yes. How do you all know? 680 00:57:49,433 --> 00:57:53,108 Think I'm a jackass? 20 years a cop! 681 00:57:53,203 --> 00:57:56,207 Who's tipsy who's not I can tell in a snap 682 00:57:57,241 --> 00:58:00,222 Frisk him 683 00:58:01,678 --> 00:58:04,215 Let me have a look 684 00:58:05,616 --> 00:58:07,391 Dr D'Me||o... 685 00:58:08,118 --> 00:58:13,033 Doc, why get so buzzed you forget your faith? 686 00:58:13,223 --> 00:58:17,103 Mistook temple for a church! Wanna rouse a riot? 687 00:58:17,628 --> 00:58:22,134 Go to church. To your own God 688 00:58:24,168 --> 00:58:25,977 Church? 689 00:59:14,351 --> 00:59:15,694 Get out of here 690 00:59:15,986 --> 00:59:18,990 My stuff! My remote! 691 00:59:19,256 --> 00:59:22,396 God was crucified for your sins. Ungrateful man! 692 00:59:22,959 --> 00:59:26,964 Crucified! When? 693 00:59:27,230 --> 00:59:30,609 2,000 years ago. For your sins! 694 00:59:31,201 --> 00:59:34,307 What did I do? I just got here 695 00:59:36,039 --> 00:59:38,110 " A . re you upsy? “ Yes! 696 00:59:38,175 --> 00:59:40,985 God is watching you. Behave 697 00:59:41,545 --> 00:59:43,183 Where? 698 00:59:43,447 --> 00:59:44,721 Where is God? 699 00:59:45,248 --> 00:59:46,727 What's in the mug? 700 00:59:46,984 --> 00:59:48,292 Wine 701 00:59:48,519 --> 00:59:52,433 Wine! Now I got it! 702 00:59:53,290 --> 00:59:56,032 God was bored of coconut water 703 00:59:56,226 --> 01:00:00,106 Now He preferred wine. But wine was expensive 704 01:00:00,297 --> 01:00:02,334 So I had to muster money 705 01:00:04,067 --> 01:00:08,573 I got some from the dancing car, some from a gentleman 706 01:00:09,006 --> 01:00:11,577 who held out a bowl of dole everyday 707 01:00:12,075 --> 01:00:15,215 You could withdraw as per need 708 01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:32,130 [Radio Announcement] 709 01:00:35,432 --> 01:00:37,503 Sir, any God house around here? 710 01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,614 Right there 711 01:00:39,736 --> 01:00:48,781 Preacher, let me drink in God's abode 712 01:00:52,415 --> 01:00:59,196 Or show me a place where there is no God 713 01:01:00,123 --> 01:01:02,603 Stop! What's that? 714 01:01:03,026 --> 01:01:05,006 Wine, for God 715 01:01:05,295 --> 01:01:07,206 Where is He? 716 01:01:47,370 --> 01:01:49,577 This lady looked very sad 717 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,714 To know why, I grabbed her hand 718 01:01:53,143 --> 01:01:55,521 Hitting on a widow, you |ech! 719 01:01:55,746 --> 01:01:58,090 Widow? How do you know? 720 01:01:58,215 --> 01:02:00,217 Don't you see she's clad in white? 721 01:02:12,062 --> 01:02:13,063 Is everything fine? 722 01:02:13,129 --> 01:02:15,131 Everything is fine. 723 01:02:16,266 --> 01:02:18,212 Just relax. Smile. 724 01:02:19,569 --> 01:02:22,243 So sorry your husband's dead 725 01:02:22,305 --> 01:02:23,648 - What? - When? 726 01:02:24,007 --> 01:02:27,011 How do I know? You are clad in white 727 01:02:27,077 --> 01:02:29,023 Brides wear white! 728 01:02:29,079 --> 01:02:31,685 No, widows wear white 729 01:02:32,048 --> 01:02:33,459 Widows wear black, stupid! 730 01:02:33,517 --> 01:02:36,657 Now don't stress her out. Go! 731 01:02:46,663 --> 01:02:49,166 All three lost your husbands? 732 01:02:49,499 --> 01:02:51,706 I'm alive you moron! Want a whack? 733 01:02:53,370 --> 01:02:55,509 After many whacks, I learnt 734 01:02:55,572 --> 01:02:59,179 there wasn't one God. There were many Gods 735 01:02:59,276 --> 01:03:01,586 Each with His own set of rules 736 01:03:02,045 --> 01:03:04,321 Each God had ﬂoated His own Company 737 01:03:04,981 --> 01:03:06,983 They called it religion 738 01:03:07,317 --> 01:03:10,423 Each Company had its own agents 739 01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:15,660 All Earthlings belonged to some religion 740 01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:20,632 and followed the God of that religion alone 741 01:03:21,298 --> 01:03:25,007 What was my religion, who was my God? 742 01:03:25,502 --> 01:03:28,346 To find the remote I had to know my God 743 01:03:44,187 --> 01:03:46,133 What are you doing? 744 01:03:46,356 --> 01:03:48,029 Where is the label? 745 01:03:48,224 --> 01:03:50,067 What label? 746 01:03:50,527 --> 01:03:52,200 The Religion label 747 01:03:53,129 --> 01:03:55,666 How do you know which Company he belongs to? 748 01:03:56,299 --> 01:03:58,779 Where does God label them? 749 01:03:59,469 --> 01:04:00,447 Security! 750 01:04:07,978 --> 01:04:10,481 Finding my religion was tough 751 01:04:11,114 --> 01:04:15,995 So I decided to worship all Gods 752 01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:19,998 One of them would be my God, who'd help me 753 01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:26,505 It's You who governs The world I hear 754 01:04:26,997 --> 01:04:32,675 Do listen to my plea My home beckons me 755 01:04:33,170 --> 01:04:38,347 God where are You 756 01:04:40,010 --> 01:04:45,722 Tell me where are You 757 01:04:47,017 --> 01:04:53,525 You guide back to sanity Those who've lost their way 758 01:04:53,590 --> 01:04:59,666 I too am completely lost Guide me too, I pray 759 01:05:00,163 --> 01:05:05,203 God where are You 760 01:05:06,670 --> 01:05:12,552 Tell me where are You 761 01:05:40,303 --> 01:05:43,307 Shall I worship You in temples 762 01:05:43,706 --> 01:05:46,687 In mosques do my faith I show 763 01:05:47,110 --> 01:05:53,117 Or to a gurudwara would You like me to go 764 01:05:53,716 --> 01:06:00,361 Temples and churches, I looked everywhere 765 01:06:00,557 --> 01:06:06,530 My hope now, has turned to despair 766 01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:12,474 My hope now, has turned to despair 767 01:06:14,137 --> 01:06:20,144 My hope now, has turned to despair 768 01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:30,196 Not a single ritual Did I ever ﬂout 769 01:06:31,288 --> 01:06:37,170 Like millions around i submit without a doubt 770 01:06:37,527 --> 01:06:42,499 God where are You 771 01:06:44,234 --> 01:06:49,308 Tell me where are You 772 01:07:17,667 --> 01:07:24,209 You have many names And many faces too 773 01:07:24,507 --> 01:07:30,583 I've walked each of the myriad paths which lead to You 774 01:07:31,281 --> 01:07:37,425 In no shrine did I find You 775 01:07:38,021 --> 01:07:43,130 What else should I do To find you give a clue 776 01:07:44,627 --> 01:07:50,100 What else should I do To find you give a clue 777 01:07:51,568 --> 01:07:57,041 What else should I do To find you give a clue 778 01:08:02,045 --> 01:08:07,654 I blindly follow and With reverence treasure 779 01:08:08,618 --> 01:08:14,466 Your every whim and fancy In more than ample measure 780 01:08:15,124 --> 01:08:19,539 God where are you 781 01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:26,138 Tell me where are you 782 01:08:28,438 --> 01:08:33,581 God where are you 783 01:08:35,211 --> 01:08:41,423 Tell me where are you 784 01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:53,598 God - I'm all confused 785 01:08:55,432 --> 01:09:00,211 What's my fault? Why can't my voice reach you? 786 01:09:01,637 --> 01:09:04,277 Understand my plight 787 01:09:04,674 --> 01:09:06,984 Give me some guidance 788 01:09:07,377 --> 01:09:09,379 Please 789 01:09:11,681 --> 01:09:14,218 Shall I talk to you with hands clasped, 790 01:09:14,517 --> 01:09:19,523 or on bent knees, head to the ground? 791 01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:24,130 Do I wake you with temple bells? 792 01:09:24,461 --> 01:09:26,441 Or call out on a loudspeaker? 793 01:09:27,464 --> 01:09:32,971 The Geeta, the Quran, the Bible - what do I read? 794 01:09:33,403 --> 01:09:37,408 Your different managers say different things 795 01:09:38,074 --> 01:09:42,545 Some insist fast on Monday, others urge on Tuesday 796 01:09:43,079 --> 01:09:47,994 Some forbid food after sunset, some after sunrise 797 01:09:48,618 --> 01:09:52,566 Some say, worship the cow. Others say slaughter her 798 01:09:53,289 --> 01:09:58,705 Some send me barefoot to the temple, some wearing shoes to the church 799 01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:02,005 What is right, what is wrong 800 01:10:02,298 --> 01:10:04,608 I am clueless 801 01:10:06,302 --> 01:10:09,044 I'm at breaking point 802 01:10:11,307 --> 01:10:13,446 I want to go home 803 01:10:14,010 --> 01:10:18,220 I'll do whatever you ask. Just get me home 804 01:10:18,548 --> 01:10:20,425 Please 805 01:10:22,118 --> 01:10:24,064 Say something 806 01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:27,034 At least one of you... 807 01:10:27,657 --> 01:10:30,069 .. give me some answer 808 01:10:30,326 --> 01:10:31,669 Please 809 01:10:33,696 --> 01:10:35,266 Please 810 01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:38,609 Please 811 01:10:49,612 --> 01:10:52,559 Missing: God 812 01:10:59,355 --> 01:11:01,062 Missing: God 813 01:11:10,166 --> 01:11:11,144 Missing: God 814 01:11:46,502 --> 01:11:48,175 Why the lock man? 815 01:11:48,237 --> 01:11:50,274 I gotcha today 816 01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:52,178 ope “.8 m n! V emw. 817 01:11:52,242 --> 01:11:54,313 Lord Shiva, slayer of sins 818 01:11:54,711 --> 01:11:56,156 who fears none 819 01:11:56,513 --> 01:11:59,050 Security! Who are you? 820 01:11:59,115 --> 01:12:01,220 Don't you recognize me? 821 01:12:01,684 --> 01:12:03,994 I'm Tipsy! 822 01:12:05,288 --> 01:12:07,598 Where the hell is security? 823 01:12:07,991 --> 01:12:11,438 Do I perform for boozards in the toilet? 824 01:12:13,129 --> 01:12:15,268 Unlock that door now! 825 01:12:15,431 --> 01:12:17,138 My remote first! 826 01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:20,409 - What remote? - Of my spaceship 827 01:12:20,703 --> 01:12:22,011 Space... ship? 828 01:12:22,205 --> 01:12:25,482 Memory loss? For the zillionth time, 829 01:12:26,042 --> 01:12:28,716 I'm not from here. I'm from a far off planet 830 01:12:29,045 --> 01:12:30,115 Smooch! 831 01:12:30,313 --> 01:12:34,227 Gimme my remote, and I go home. Got it? 832 01:12:34,651 --> 01:12:38,030 Brother let me go. I've little kids at home 833 01:12:38,054 --> 01:12:40,466 I know! You fathered two Gods 834 01:12:40,523 --> 01:12:43,299 Both are centuries old. They can be home alone 835 01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:46,101 First my remote, then your family reunion 836 01:12:47,030 --> 01:12:48,509 Oh God, save me please... 837 01:12:48,598 --> 01:12:50,271 There's a God above you too? 838 01:12:50,333 --> 01:12:51,607 Lord Shiva, help 839 01:12:51,701 --> 01:12:53,510 Where? 840 01:12:55,538 --> 01:12:59,145 Now presenting the dance of Shiva, the fearless 841 01:12:59,208 --> 01:13:00,312 Help! 842 01:13:00,777 --> 01:13:01,721 Help! 843 01:13:03,980 --> 01:13:05,186 Help! 844 01:13:11,988 --> 01:13:14,434 Help! 845 01:13:15,525 --> 01:13:16,526 Help! 846 01:13:33,543 --> 01:13:37,047 Hail Lord Shiva 847 01:13:55,665 --> 01:13:59,511 Hail Lord Shiva 848 01:14:00,169 --> 01:14:05,676 I was meditating on the snowy peaks of the Himalayas 849 01:14:06,142 --> 01:14:09,316 when, suddenly - light! 850 01:14:09,612 --> 01:14:11,990 Dazzling light! 851 01:14:12,582 --> 01:14:18,032 It came from a bead lying in the snow 852 01:14:18,688 --> 01:14:23,262 I shut my eyes and invoked God 853 01:14:23,326 --> 01:14:26,398 Next moment, I was connected 854 01:14:26,462 --> 01:14:29,306 I said, "God, enlighten me," 855 01:14:29,532 --> 01:14:32,000 What is this miraculous object, 856 01:14:32,001 --> 01:14:35,175 that is warm even in this biting cold? 857 01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:37,015 God said, 858 01:14:37,040 --> 01:14:41,750 it's a divine bead from Lord Shiva's necklace 859 01:14:42,011 --> 01:14:47,757 Take it and enshrine it in a grand temple 860 01:14:48,084 --> 01:14:54,467 Sighting this bead will heal all suffering 861 01:14:54,524 --> 01:14:57,368 Hail Lord Shiva 862 01:14:58,161 --> 01:15:00,539 Are you ready for the sighting? 863 01:15:01,030 --> 01:15:03,704 The divine bead from Lord Shiva's necklace! 864 01:15:07,503 --> 01:15:12,111 Hail Lord Shiva 865 01:15:12,608 --> 01:15:16,715 Hail Lord Shiva 866 01:15:25,621 --> 01:15:28,261 Hail Lord Shiva 867 01:15:28,558 --> 01:15:30,435 Hail Lord Shiva 868 01:15:30,626 --> 01:15:31,536 Stop. 869 01:15:31,594 --> 01:15:36,009 Let him through. He's awed by the sight 870 01:15:36,032 --> 01:15:38,034 Come. - Hail Lord Shiva 871 01:15:38,101 --> 01:15:41,241 Not there child. Come here 872 01:15:41,504 --> 01:15:43,347 Express your ecstasy 873 01:15:43,473 --> 01:15:45,714 Hail Lord Shiva 874 01:15:46,108 --> 01:15:49,521 Hail Lord Shiva 875 01:15:50,012 --> 01:15:52,322 God, where are you? Please step out, 876 01:15:52,348 --> 01:15:54,589 I want to thank you 877 01:15:56,018 --> 01:15:57,429 He's right here 878 01:15:57,753 --> 01:15:59,528 I met Him in the toilet 879 01:15:59,589 --> 01:16:02,229 I asked for my property and He bolted 880 01:16:02,492 --> 01:16:04,369 I thought He vamoosed 881 01:16:04,627 --> 01:16:08,302 But no! He led me to my property 882 01:16:08,531 --> 01:16:11,068 Hail Lord Shiva 883 01:16:12,001 --> 01:16:14,072 This isn't Lord Shiva's bead 884 01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:17,184 It's my property, misdelivered to you 885 01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:19,242 Your bead must be misdelivered too 886 01:16:19,475 --> 01:16:24,288 Ask God, He is right here. God, do step forward, clarify 887 01:16:26,315 --> 01:16:29,262 Anyway, I'll take my property 888 01:16:31,254 --> 01:16:34,235 That's mine! Why're you stopping me? 889 01:16:36,225 --> 01:16:40,139 Hail Lord Shiva 890 01:17:40,022 --> 01:17:45,529 Since when have you felt you're from another planet? 891 01:17:47,730 --> 01:17:54,045 Listen. You need to see a psychiatrist 892 01:17:55,037 --> 01:17:59,144 Time up! Rs 500 can buy only this much jail time 893 01:18:05,981 --> 01:18:07,983 Here's my card 894 01:18:08,551 --> 01:18:12,624 My number's on it. I'll get you an appointment if you wish 895 01:18:13,155 --> 01:18:15,601 Feel free to call. Okay? 896 01:18:16,993 --> 01:18:18,666 Take care 897 01:18:20,630 --> 01:18:22,974 Thank you officer Pandey 898 01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:27,505 You don't believe my stow? 899 01:18:29,605 --> 01:18:33,985 Then go back to the suicidal dog, Nikku 900 01:18:34,410 --> 01:18:37,016 That's the story for you 901 01:18:43,586 --> 01:18:47,295 I need to go back in for 2 minutes 902 01:18:48,090 --> 01:18:51,264 Quit these entry - exits 903 01:18:51,660 --> 01:18:56,473 Another Rs 500, he's all yours 904 01:18:56,665 --> 01:19:00,340 When did I mention Nikku, the suicidal dog? 905 01:19:00,736 --> 01:19:02,374 You didn't 906 01:19:02,638 --> 01:19:04,549 So how do you know? 907 01:19:05,007 --> 01:19:09,683 When you held my hands, I read your thoughts 908 01:19:10,679 --> 01:19:12,454 You thought: this story is dead 909 01:19:12,615 --> 01:19:14,219 I got to live with the Nikku story 910 01:19:14,417 --> 01:19:17,364 Don't lie! I must have mentioned it 911 01:19:17,486 --> 01:19:20,956 I cannot lie. Lies need language 912 01:19:21,123 --> 01:19:24,593 On our planet we hold hands, read minds 913 01:19:25,595 --> 01:19:27,040 - Gimme your hand. - No way 914 01:19:27,163 --> 01:19:29,370 - Try it... - Help me, son 915 01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:34,980 My wife's ill. Hospital wants a deposit of Rs 10,000 916 01:19:35,137 --> 01:19:39,347 I'm Rs 500 short If you can help... 917 01:19:39,475 --> 01:19:41,148 I'll give you 918 01:19:41,977 --> 01:19:43,081 Here 919 01:19:43,179 --> 01:19:45,989 Give your address. I'll courier a check 920 01:19:46,015 --> 01:19:49,155 Courier can't reach my home. Please keep it 921 01:19:49,318 --> 01:19:51,059 Thank you 922 01:19:51,987 --> 01:19:53,091 Sir... 923 01:19:53,589 --> 01:19:56,627 Here's another Rs 100. For the tip 924 01:19:58,994 --> 01:20:01,031 Bless you 925 01:20:02,131 --> 01:20:06,045 Confirmed. You are no mind reader 926 01:20:06,268 --> 01:20:11,342 You got conned. There is no hospital around here 927 01:20:11,540 --> 01:20:13,019 I know! 928 01:20:13,109 --> 01:20:16,022 He's gifting his wife a five star dinner 929 01:20:16,045 --> 01:20:18,184 It's her 75th birthday 930 01:20:18,247 --> 01:20:21,091 She'd never been to a fancy place 931 01:20:21,250 --> 01:20:24,129 He's been saving from his pension for months 932 01:20:24,220 --> 01:20:27,565 She ordered ice-cream and his budget went kaput 933 01:20:27,656 --> 01:20:30,603 With a restroom excuse, he ran out for some bucks 934 01:20:30,626 --> 01:20:32,196 Another yarn! 935 01:20:33,262 --> 01:20:36,471 On our planet, we don't lie 936 01:20:37,399 --> 01:20:39,208 Anyway, it's up t0 you 937 01:21:39,628 --> 01:21:41,232 - Here. - Thank you Sir 938 01:21:41,297 --> 01:21:44,039 One moment. Tip him 939 01:21:44,200 --> 01:21:48,615 Why hold back - it's your birthday! 940 01:21:48,771 --> 01:21:50,045 Thank you 941 01:22:19,001 --> 01:22:21,038 Address: Step-well ruins 942 01:22:45,361 --> 01:22:48,638 I told you. On my planet, we don't lie 943 01:22:50,666 --> 01:22:53,078 Hope you haven't told anyone... 944 01:23:00,075 --> 01:23:02,055 .. that you're an alien? 945 01:23:02,244 --> 01:23:03,416 No way! 946 01:23:03,579 --> 01:23:08,358 They'd lock me in a lab, and rip me up for research! 947 01:23:10,285 --> 01:23:13,129 How come you told me? 948 01:23:14,590 --> 01:23:16,297 Ever since I set foot on this planet 949 01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:19,496 everyone has taken money from me 950 01:23:19,695 --> 01:23:23,199 You were the first to give it up for me - dumping Rs 5,000 in a box 951 01:23:23,699 --> 01:23:27,374 I thought you are a good egg. I could trust you 952 01:23:30,739 --> 01:23:33,276 I'll get your remote back, Tipsy 953 01:23:34,476 --> 01:23:36,046 How? 954 01:23:36,345 --> 01:23:40,452 I haven't figured it out yet, but you'll go back home 955 01:23:40,749 --> 01:23:43,195 That's my promise 956 01:24:30,566 --> 01:24:32,637 What are you goggling at? 957 01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:34,103 You 958 01:24:35,104 --> 01:24:37,516 Aliens don't drop by everyday 959 01:24:38,741 --> 01:24:42,883 Everyone on your planet has stick-out ears? 960 01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:46,616 Yup, ditto 961 01:24:46,682 --> 01:24:51,722 And they roam around naked? Isn't it weird? 962 01:24:52,254 --> 01:24:55,963 That crow is naked - does he look weird? 963 01:24:56,191 --> 01:24:59,570 If he dons a tie, he'd look weird 964 01:25:01,597 --> 01:25:04,578 Tipsy, I was awake all night... 965 01:25:05,467 --> 01:25:08,573 .. thinking how to get your remote back 966 01:25:09,471 --> 01:25:10,108 Hello 967 01:25:10,472 --> 01:25:13,078 Connect to Balbir Singh. Room No. 4 968 01:25:13,676 --> 01:25:14,814 Wrong number 969 01:25:15,210 --> 01:25:16,917 Isn't this Foﬂis Hospital? 970 01:25:17,179 --> 01:25:20,092 Since yesterday you've been dialing this wrong number 971 01:25:20,115 --> 01:25:24,188 Impossible! I can't be wrong even] time! 972 01:25:25,487 --> 01:25:27,933 So how do we get the remote? 973 01:25:31,126 --> 01:25:33,970 Connect to Balbir Singh. Room No. 4 974 01:25:34,029 --> 01:25:37,033 Sorry, Sir. You've called too late 975 01:25:37,499 --> 01:25:39,172 Balbir died this morning 976 01:25:39,702 --> 01:25:43,809 Huh! How can a piles surgery be fatal? 977 01:25:44,072 --> 01:25:46,609 Embarrassing, but don't worn] 978 01:25:46,842 --> 01:25:48,981 Death Certificate will say heart attack 979 01:25:49,177 --> 01:25:51,157 so the family saves face 980 01:25:51,580 --> 01:25:53,685 - Come for the body. - On my way 981 01:25:53,982 --> 01:25:55,825 Ok, bye 982 01:25:58,687 --> 01:26:00,132 Why did you say that? 983 01:26:00,522 --> 01:26:01,865 Doling out joy 984 01:26:02,024 --> 01:26:05,995 When he finds his friend alive, imagine his joy! 985 01:26:06,061 --> 01:26:07,005 What! 986 01:26:07,129 --> 01:26:11,475 I was sick of his calls. Sol played a prank 987 01:26:11,934 --> 01:26:15,143 - A prank? - Tipsy, I was just kidding! 988 01:26:22,077 --> 01:26:23,647 l sot it! 989 01:26:24,646 --> 01:26:27,889 Someone is playing pranks 990 01:26:28,183 --> 01:26:30,754 When His Holiness dials God, 991 01:26:31,019 --> 01:26:34,193 cocking his head, 'God, enlighten me', 992 01:26:34,590 --> 01:26:36,729 his calls are going to a Wrong Number 993 01:26:37,092 --> 01:26:40,005 Someone out there plays pranks 994 01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:44,234 The real God won't call my remote a bead 995 01:26:45,667 --> 01:26:52,516 Looks like the phone lines to God have gone kaput 996 01:26:52,741 --> 01:26:55,085 All calls to God are going to a Wrong Number! 997 01:26:55,511 --> 01:26:56,819 As in? 998 01:26:56,878 --> 01:27:01,224 Think - would the real God give such weird solutions? 999 01:27:01,783 --> 01:27:05,663 Like - come rolling to me, then I'll help you! 1000 01:27:05,954 --> 01:27:08,457 Aren't we God's children? 1001 01:27:08,624 --> 01:27:13,801 Would a father make his kids roll for help? 1002 01:27:14,463 --> 01:27:19,469 Your Dad ever said - kiddo, want a new dress? Stan rolling! 1003 01:27:20,135 --> 01:27:24,675 Another prank - bathe me with cow's milk! What bull! 1004 01:27:25,140 --> 01:27:31,182 And if these calls went to the real God, what would He say? 1005 01:27:31,580 --> 01:27:36,188 He'd say - millions of my children are starving on streets 1006 01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:39,623 Give them milk. Don't give me a lactose shower 1007 01:27:40,055 --> 01:27:43,730 I'm sure someone's playing pranks, like you just did 1008 01:27:44,159 --> 01:27:47,003 Tipsy thought His Holiness was a victim of pranks 1009 01:27:47,229 --> 01:27:49,209 I didn't clear his confusion 1010 01:27:49,698 --> 01:27:52,508 for a crazy idea was forming in my head 1011 01:27:52,701 --> 01:27:56,581 An idea that would get back Tipsy's remote 1012 01:27:57,606 --> 01:27:58,710 Who's this Tipsy? 1013 01:27:59,207 --> 01:28:01,118 That's a mystery 1014 01:28:01,510 --> 01:28:04,218 But the way he sees this world is unique 1015 01:28:04,613 --> 01:28:07,787 - As in? - If he saw you smoking, 1016 01:28:08,050 --> 01:28:10,621 he'd call the cops to say you're attempting suicide 1017 01:28:10,886 --> 01:28:11,591 Why? 1018 01:28:11,653 --> 01:28:14,725 The pack says 'Smoking Kills' yet you puff away 1019 01:28:16,091 --> 01:28:18,071 So what's the big idea? 1020 01:28:19,862 --> 01:28:21,136 Face-off 1021 01:28:21,597 --> 01:28:24,476 Between Tipsy and His Holiness. 1022 01:28:24,800 --> 01:28:27,576 We'll take the face-off to TV 1023 01:28:28,036 --> 01:28:30,516 Ratings will go through the roof! 1024 01:28:31,139 --> 01:28:33,983 I have three trident marks on my right bum 1025 01:28:34,509 --> 01:28:37,046 You want three more on my left for balance? 1026 01:28:37,512 --> 01:28:38,490 Don't worn] 1027 01:28:38,580 --> 01:28:43,620 Tipsy won't fight His Holiness but gently explain, that... 1028 01:28:43,952 --> 01:28:46,990 .. his calls to God are going to a Wrong Number 1029 01:28:47,556 --> 01:28:50,537 His Holiness will be stumped 1030 01:28:51,026 --> 01:28:51,834 Cherry! 1031 01:28:52,160 --> 01:28:55,698 Tipsy's here. Just meet him once 1032 01:28:56,031 --> 01:28:58,568 I bet his queries will baffle you 1033 01:28:58,834 --> 01:29:00,541 Trust me. Please! 1034 01:29:11,013 --> 01:29:12,924 Excuse me, you dropped this 1035 01:29:12,981 --> 01:29:14,483 Oh, thank you 1036 01:29:17,886 --> 01:29:20,059 That's not mine 1037 01:29:21,623 --> 01:29:24,467 Kamasutra condoms, strawberry flavor 1038 01:29:25,727 --> 01:29:28,731 I hate strawberries, man. Ask these guys 1039 01:29:29,064 --> 01:29:31,567 It's not mine. Buzzed bozo! 1040 01:29:33,735 --> 01:29:35,942 - Ma'am, yours? - How dare you! 1041 01:29:36,138 --> 01:29:40,518 - Check your purse if it's missing. - Shameless cad! 1042 01:29:41,477 --> 01:29:44,185 - Has to be yours. - No, not mine 1043 01:29:44,613 --> 01:29:46,183 Tipsy, it's his 1044 01:29:46,582 --> 01:29:50,997 Ask him all you want to know about it. Come on in 1045 01:29:55,490 --> 01:29:56,594 What's this? 1046 01:29:57,659 --> 01:29:59,161 It's a condom 1047 01:29:59,561 --> 01:30:04,237 - What does it do? - Controls the world's population 1048 01:30:04,866 --> 01:30:05,867 How? 1049 01:30:06,435 --> 01:30:10,713 It has to be worn while having sex 1050 01:30:13,008 --> 01:30:16,148 How does your wearing it control the world's population? 1051 01:30:16,445 --> 01:30:19,619 Not just me... millions wear it 1052 01:30:19,815 --> 01:30:21,795 They all borrow it from you? 1053 01:30:21,984 --> 01:30:23,861 No. Everyone has it 1054 01:30:24,152 --> 01:30:28,032 - I've a question - Go on Tipsy, shoot 1055 01:30:28,457 --> 01:30:32,633 If money is dropped, all run for it 1056 01:30:32,728 --> 01:30:38,007 If a condom is dropped, all run away from it. Why? 1057 01:30:38,567 --> 01:30:40,911 Sex is a very private matter 1058 01:30:41,036 --> 01:30:42,515 Why? 1059 01:30:42,637 --> 01:30:46,016 You don't tell the whole town - I'm having sex today 1060 01:30:46,508 --> 01:30:51,514 But, then at weddings, with fireworks and music bands 1061 01:30:51,546 --> 01:30:56,518 why do they tell the whole town - I'm having sex today? 1062 01:30:58,620 --> 01:30:59,963 What's the matter? 1063 01:31:00,722 --> 01:31:05,694 I have no answer for you but I have a job for you 1064 01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,107 Thank you! 1065 01:31:09,097 --> 01:31:12,704 Let's beat it before he changes his mind 1066 01:31:14,636 --> 01:31:17,082 Shield your holy bum, Your Holiness 1067 01:31:17,439 --> 01:31:19,441 My trident is on its way 1068 01:31:23,178 --> 01:31:26,751 At this place His Holiness connects his devotees to God 1069 01:31:26,882 --> 01:31:28,725 for solutions to their woes 1070 01:31:29,051 --> 01:31:31,930 Listen carefully to his calls 1071 01:31:32,020 --> 01:31:38,494 If you think the calls are going to a Wrong Number, aleﬂ him 1072 01:31:38,827 --> 01:31:42,468 - Will that get me my remote? - Once he realises... 1073 01:31:42,531 --> 01:31:47,071 ...the bead story is a prank he'll return your remote 1074 01:31:47,135 --> 01:31:50,207 Good plan. Let's go 1075 01:31:51,673 --> 01:31:54,745 To build a home for someone is a holy deed 1076 01:31:54,809 --> 01:31:59,485 To build a home for God is the holiest deed 1077 01:31:59,881 --> 01:32:02,589 So donate for the temple 1078 01:32:02,784 --> 01:32:05,594 And see your woes flee 1079 01:32:06,421 --> 01:32:09,891 Son, voice your woe 1080 01:32:10,859 --> 01:32:12,167 Your Holiness, 1081 01:32:12,894 --> 01:32:15,500 my wife's been paralyzed for six months 1082 01:32:15,764 --> 01:32:19,507 The doctors have given up. What shall I... 1083 01:32:20,969 --> 01:32:22,607 God 1084 01:32:23,438 --> 01:32:24,712 Enlighten me 1085 01:32:31,780 --> 01:32:33,123 Yes... 1086 01:32:36,551 --> 01:32:38,724 What place? 1087 01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:45,538 What transport? 1088 01:32:48,063 --> 01:32:50,509 Your wish is our command 1089 01:32:53,134 --> 01:32:55,774 Have you heard of the Rathong glacier? 1090 01:32:55,837 --> 01:32:57,043 No 1091 01:32:57,539 --> 01:33:01,954 It's in the Himalayas. Take a train to Silliguri 1092 01:33:02,777 --> 01:33:05,553 then a bus to Gangtok 1093 01:33:06,414 --> 01:33:10,863 then an eight day trek 1094 01:33:11,486 --> 01:33:15,992 You'll reach a grand temple 1095 01:33:16,925 --> 01:33:20,099 Pray there, your problem will be solved 1096 01:33:20,428 --> 01:33:22,738 Wrong Number! This is a Wrong Number! 1097 01:33:23,031 --> 01:33:24,908 - What? - Wrong Number 1098 01:33:25,166 --> 01:33:30,616 Your Holiness, your phone line to God has gone kaput 1099 01:33:31,440 --> 01:33:33,511 Your calls are going to a Wrong Number 1100 01:33:33,708 --> 01:33:37,554 and a fake God is playing pranks 1101 01:33:37,679 --> 01:33:40,888 What are you trying to say? 1102 01:33:41,149 --> 01:33:44,062 I'll explain. Aren't we God's children? 1103 01:33:44,753 --> 01:33:45,731 Yes, so? 1104 01:33:45,921 --> 01:33:49,664 Say your kid's in a jam and comes to you 1105 01:33:49,991 --> 01:33:52,733 Will you help promptly, or will you say 1106 01:33:52,861 --> 01:33:56,138 kiddo, I've another house 2,000 miles away 1107 01:33:56,464 --> 01:33:59,502 Come there, tell me the same problem again 1108 01:33:59,701 --> 01:34:02,079 Then I'll solve it. What bull! 1109 01:34:02,504 --> 01:34:07,715 If the call went to real God, He'd say: Son, tend to your ailing wife, 1110 01:34:08,043 --> 01:34:10,523 don't run after me 1111 01:34:10,712 --> 01:34:13,716 after death you'll come to me anyway 1112 01:34:13,848 --> 01:34:17,557 give her your time now. Right? 1113 01:34:21,756 --> 01:34:24,202 I can prove it's a prank 1114 01:34:24,526 --> 01:34:27,769 Call this fake God again and ask 1115 01:34:28,029 --> 01:34:30,635 What's the guarantee she will get well 1116 01:34:30,832 --> 01:34:34,905 Sir, till you get it in writing, don't leave her side 1117 01:34:35,070 --> 01:34:38,051 Just call, and clear all doubt 1118 01:34:39,007 --> 01:34:42,250 It's time for His Holiness' holy silence 1119 01:34:44,012 --> 01:34:53,126 Praise be to God Glory be to God 1120 01:34:55,824 --> 01:35:00,796 This fake God is passing off my property as a holy bead 1121 01:35:01,096 --> 01:35:04,043 He's playing a prank 1122 01:35:05,533 --> 01:35:08,070 He is no God. He is a fraud 1123 01:35:08,737 --> 01:35:10,739 He is a FRAUD 1124 01:35:10,939 --> 01:35:14,614 God doesn't talk to us mortals 1125 01:35:15,176 --> 01:35:18,885 He communicates through His managers 1126 01:35:19,481 --> 01:35:22,826 - Tipsy has raised a big question. - What? 1127 01:35:24,219 --> 01:35:27,598 Is God really talking to the managers? 1128 01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:28,565 No 1129 01:35:28,623 --> 01:35:32,833 So where do the commands for us come from? 1130 01:35:33,128 --> 01:35:36,803 - From a Wrong Number! - So what should the public do? 1131 01:35:36,998 --> 01:35:40,810 Till phone lines are fixed, don't depend on God's managers 1132 01:35:40,869 --> 01:35:43,577 Help each other in difficult times 1133 01:35:43,872 --> 01:35:50,949 A great tip from Tipsy: Don't rely on God's managers 1134 01:35:51,145 --> 01:35:54,149 Rely on each other 1135 01:35:56,251 --> 01:36:00,097 Hail Lord Shiva 1136 01:36:01,523 --> 01:36:05,903 Tipsy says don't make the temple, the bead belongs to him 1137 01:36:06,027 --> 01:36:08,098 What's in your pocket? 1138 01:36:10,632 --> 01:36:13,476 - Do you smoke? - Yes 1139 01:36:13,635 --> 01:36:17,777 - You consume alcohol? - Occasionally 1140 01:36:17,973 --> 01:36:21,182 You smoke cigarettes, consume alcohol 1141 01:36:21,209 --> 01:36:24,918 despite knowing their fatal effects 1142 01:36:25,780 --> 01:36:27,987 Governments permit these poisons, 1143 01:36:28,516 --> 01:36:33,693 factories manufacture them, stores sell them 1144 01:36:33,788 --> 01:36:35,961 Nobody questions this 1145 01:36:36,191 --> 01:36:43,803 But in this sacred land of Lord Ram and Krishna 1146 01:36:43,898 --> 01:36:46,640 if I wish to build a temple 1147 01:36:47,502 --> 01:36:49,209 why these questions? 1148 01:36:50,038 --> 01:36:57,547 Why not question the man who is trying to stall this temple? 1149 01:36:57,779 --> 01:36:59,520 Who's this Tipsy? 1150 01:36:59,881 --> 01:37:01,952 What's his real name? 1151 01:37:03,218 --> 01:37:07,462 Why's he hiding it? Is he a Muslim? 1152 01:37:08,056 --> 01:37:12,471 If question you must, go ask Tipsy 1153 01:37:12,494 --> 01:37:14,098 what is his religion? 1154 01:37:14,529 --> 01:37:18,773 Find out his religion, Find out his faith 1155 01:37:21,670 --> 01:37:24,651 Centuries ago, Mohammad of Ghazni 1156 01:37:25,507 --> 01:37:27,544 came and destroyed our temples 1157 01:37:28,009 --> 01:37:32,617 Today another invader wants to repeat history 1158 01:37:32,780 --> 01:37:33,952 But we won't allow... 1159 01:38:00,875 --> 01:38:05,449 Your God asks my religion. Let's ask Him... 1160 01:38:05,547 --> 01:38:07,891 ...the religions of these people 1161 01:38:07,982 --> 01:38:12,453 - What nonsense? - Call up your God! 1162 01:38:12,487 --> 01:38:16,936 Why bother God? I'll tell you 1163 01:38:17,158 --> 01:38:19,069 This one is a Hindu. He's a Christian... 1164 01:38:19,494 --> 01:38:21,098 .. Sikh, Jain and... 1165 01:38:21,496 --> 01:38:24,136 .. that one is of your religion 1166 01:38:25,900 --> 01:38:28,608 Enlighten him 1167 01:38:29,003 --> 01:38:32,507 Hello. I'm Sikh 1168 01:38:32,741 --> 01:38:36,018 Greetings. I'm Muslim 1169 01:38:36,477 --> 01:38:38,514 I'm Jain 1170 01:38:38,579 --> 01:38:40,957 Hi, I'm Christian 1171 01:38:41,582 --> 01:38:44,825 Hello! I'm Hindu 1172 01:38:45,486 --> 01:38:46,794 Bamboozled! 1173 01:38:47,088 --> 01:38:50,797 I swapped their robes. Get it? 1174 01:38:50,992 --> 01:38:52,994 Faith is connected to fashion 1175 01:38:53,061 --> 01:38:56,167 Want a demo? Check the math 1176 01:38:56,831 --> 01:38:59,573 Beard + moustache + turban = Sikh 1177 01:38:59,968 --> 01:39:02,676 Minus turban = Hindu 1178 01:39:02,837 --> 01:39:06,011 Minus moustache = Muslim! 1179 01:39:06,741 --> 01:39:09,745 This difference is made by the fake God 1180 01:39:10,011 --> 01:39:12,491 If real God wanted it, He'd put a label on us 1181 01:39:12,547 --> 01:39:15,551 - Is there a label on your body? - Mine? 1182 01:39:15,617 --> 01:39:18,723 Don't gape, strip and check! 1183 01:39:19,020 --> 01:39:20,966 Why be coy? 1184 01:39:21,556 --> 01:39:26,471 Strip everyone, show His Holiness. ls there any label? 1185 01:39:26,761 --> 01:39:30,675 Cut the coyness. OK, I'll go first 1186 01:39:33,034 --> 01:39:35,674 See the bare facts 1187 01:39:36,805 --> 01:39:41,720 Is there a label? 1188 01:39:42,543 --> 01:39:44,022 Nothing! You see! 1189 01:39:44,212 --> 01:39:45,919 Check some more... 1190 01:39:46,514 --> 01:39:48,619 Remove this ruffian 1191 01:39:48,983 --> 01:39:52,089 Hey! I'm proving a point 1192 01:39:52,187 --> 01:39:54,189 Stan the chants! 1193 01:39:54,555 --> 01:39:57,058 Praise be to God Glory be to God 1194 01:39:57,191 --> 01:40:01,105 That's no divine bead 1195 01:40:09,003 --> 01:40:10,073 Jaggu! 1196 01:40:11,172 --> 01:40:12,674 Stop this farce! 1197 01:40:13,041 --> 01:40:14,042 Papa! 1198 01:40:16,477 --> 01:40:20,584 You were all of 40 days, when His Holiness christened you 1199 01:40:20,715 --> 01:40:24,527 Remember, he who gives you a name, can ruin it too 1200 01:40:25,086 --> 01:40:27,464 He named me Jagat Janani 1201 01:40:27,689 --> 01:40:29,134 How can he ruin it further? 1202 01:40:29,523 --> 01:40:32,527 You! Name your price 1203 01:40:32,760 --> 01:40:33,465 Papa! 1204 01:40:33,628 --> 01:40:36,507 Trying to scare His Holiness to extort money 1205 01:40:36,664 --> 01:40:37,142 No, no 1206 01:40:37,565 --> 01:40:42,480 You'll burn in Hell! Fear the wrath of God! 1207 01:40:47,542 --> 01:40:50,079 Thank you Papa! Thank you 1208 01:40:50,912 --> 01:40:54,553 I'd solved only half the puzzle. You pieced it together 1209 01:40:54,749 --> 01:40:56,490 Fear is the key 1210 01:40:56,684 --> 01:41:01,997 The prankster is cashing in on fear. Get it? 1211 01:41:02,590 --> 01:41:04,968 Not exactly, but can you explain to Papa? 1212 01:41:05,059 --> 01:41:09,030 You bet! I can prove it. Follow me 1213 01:41:10,432 --> 01:41:12,469 I don't have time for this nonsense 1214 01:41:12,733 --> 01:41:16,738 If it turns out to be nonsense, I'll call off the show 1215 01:41:29,584 --> 01:41:33,896 Exams are on at this college. The students are scared stiff 1216 01:41:34,121 --> 01:41:39,070 Now, we'll establish our business - The Fear Factory 1217 01:41:50,205 --> 01:41:52,708 Machine installed 1218 01:41:57,745 --> 01:42:00,624 A little seed capital 1219 01:42:04,485 --> 01:42:07,955 Now the inauguration 1220 01:42:17,065 --> 01:42:21,980 Just watch! Capital doubles in 15 minutes 1221 01:42:27,909 --> 01:42:29,479 Look there 1222 01:42:31,546 --> 01:42:33,082 The first customer! 1223 01:42:33,781 --> 01:42:37,058 Tea... piping hot tea 1224 01:42:37,552 --> 01:42:39,828 Check the investment of the tea vendor 1225 01:42:40,121 --> 01:42:43,568 Kettle, tea, sugar, bike, thermos 1226 01:42:43,891 --> 01:42:47,566 And here - a rock and a red mark 1227 01:42:47,762 --> 01:42:49,571 Hot and piping tea... 1228 01:42:49,730 --> 01:42:51,903 There, you gotta woo the clients 1229 01:42:52,133 --> 01:42:55,012 Here you shoo them away 1230 01:42:55,136 --> 01:42:59,516 Hey, scram. Give others a chance 1231 01:43:02,009 --> 01:43:04,489 There you bow before the customer 1232 01:43:04,578 --> 01:43:06,854 Here the customer bows before you 1233 01:43:09,450 --> 01:43:13,523 If he's in deep trouble, he goes horizontal 1234 01:43:14,589 --> 01:43:18,969 The Wrong Number guy trades in fear 1235 01:43:19,427 --> 01:43:22,465 He knows - those in dread to the temple head 1236 01:43:23,064 --> 01:43:26,011 You too seem afraid! Off with these... 1237 01:43:27,435 --> 01:43:29,881 Do not question religion 1238 01:43:30,538 --> 01:43:32,677 It's a matter of faith! 1239 01:43:32,873 --> 01:43:35,581 If God didn't want us to raise questions 1240 01:43:35,677 --> 01:43:39,716 He wouldn't give us the power to reason 1241 01:43:40,081 --> 01:43:43,927 Guardians of religion use violence when they can't answer us 1242 01:43:44,085 --> 01:43:48,056 They scare us into silence. But now we won't be silent 1243 01:43:48,489 --> 01:43:53,063 So far one Tipsy raised questions. Now there'll be a thousand 1244 01:43:53,528 --> 01:43:56,008 Friends, pick up your phones 1245 01:43:56,464 --> 01:44:01,209 When you spot a Wrong Number, shoot it and send it to us 1246 01:44:01,736 --> 01:44:03,943 We'll put it on TV 1247 01:44:04,472 --> 01:44:07,009 Dump your fear, ask questions 1248 01:44:16,083 --> 01:44:18,029 Holy Sir! 1249 01:44:18,519 --> 01:44:19,759 One question 1250 01:44:19,820 --> 01:44:22,130 If you can conjure gold from thin air 1251 01:44:22,523 --> 01:44:25,163 why don't you end the nation's poverty? 1252 01:44:25,560 --> 01:44:27,506 Answer please 1253 01:44:28,096 --> 01:44:29,097 Holy Sir! 1254 01:44:29,163 --> 01:44:34,044 Since you're a walking gold mine, why ask us for donations? 1255 01:44:36,571 --> 01:44:38,881 God is great! 1256 01:44:39,106 --> 01:44:41,518 This is a Wrong Number 1257 01:44:41,642 --> 01:44:45,089 - Jaggu... come with me - Cherry give me a moment 1258 01:44:45,513 --> 01:44:49,222 Come with me 1259 01:44:49,517 --> 01:44:51,258 The Wrong Number idea is a national rage 1260 01:44:51,819 --> 01:44:55,164 - What! - It's spread like wild fire 1261 01:45:00,695 --> 01:45:03,539 Guru says - to land a job, feed a cow 1262 01:45:03,731 --> 01:45:07,110 Is this cow an employment agent? 1263 01:45:07,468 --> 01:45:11,075 Or posts CVs on Monstencom? Wrong Number 1264 01:45:11,172 --> 01:45:12,480 Watch this one! 1265 01:45:12,773 --> 01:45:15,583 He says, convert to Christianity, or be damned 1266 01:45:15,910 --> 01:45:19,619 If God wanted, I'd be Christian by birth 1267 01:45:19,980 --> 01:45:23,189 Why conveﬂ now? Wrong Number 1268 01:45:23,718 --> 01:45:25,595 These girls want to go to school 1269 01:45:25,853 --> 01:45:28,959 A new dictat says: kill them if they do 1270 01:45:29,123 --> 01:45:33,799 ls God so small, He'll deny children knowledge? 1271 01:45:34,495 --> 01:45:35,997 Wrong Number 1272 01:45:36,630 --> 01:45:39,975 What God has destined for you will happen 1273 01:45:40,501 --> 01:45:44,574 He has a master plan for the Universe 1274 01:45:45,006 --> 01:45:46,747 Accept it 1275 01:45:46,941 --> 01:45:51,549 Your disciples say: to get a male child, 1276 01:45:51,679 --> 01:45:56,094 buy this book, and chant the mantras 1277 01:45:56,517 --> 01:45:59,964 So buy a Rs 10 book 1278 01:46:00,021 --> 01:46:03,867 and bust God's master plan! 1279 01:46:12,066 --> 01:46:16,208 Tipsy! Your show's a hit! Messages are pouring in 1280 01:46:16,537 --> 01:46:18,141 Here's one more 1281 01:46:23,111 --> 01:46:24,488 What happened? 1282 01:46:25,179 --> 01:46:29,150 It's Papa. He's ashamed I'm his daughter 1283 01:46:32,987 --> 01:46:35,695 I was in tenth grade 1284 01:46:36,891 --> 01:46:39,599 when I wrote my first poem 1285 01:46:40,161 --> 01:46:42,232 For Papa 1286 01:46:43,197 --> 01:46:48,704 They say my Mom I resemble. I say possible, 1287 01:46:49,537 --> 01:46:52,677 but I'm my Daddy's girl 1288 01:46:52,974 --> 01:46:55,511 I recited it on the Annual Day 1289 01:46:55,977 --> 01:46:58,014 All parents clapped 1290 01:46:58,513 --> 01:47:02,518 but one whistled with joy 1291 01:47:03,651 --> 01:47:07,656 The applause ended, the whistling continued 1292 01:47:08,622 --> 01:47:10,101 It was Papa 1293 01:47:10,658 --> 01:47:12,695 He was so proud of me 1294 01:47:14,061 --> 01:47:18,635 And now this message. Ashamed of you 1295 01:47:19,166 --> 01:47:24,514 There's a Wrong Number in your Papa's head 1296 01:47:25,105 --> 01:47:30,748 The day he gets rid of it, he'll whistle for you again 1297 01:47:31,111 --> 01:47:32,852 It won't happen 1298 01:47:33,514 --> 01:47:36,495 Don't be sad. Come with me 1299 01:47:36,517 --> 01:47:40,727 On my planet when people are sad, know what they do? 1300 01:47:41,088 --> 01:47:42,590 What? 1301 01:47:42,823 --> 01:47:45,599 Recharge the battery! 1302 01:47:45,826 --> 01:47:48,636 - What! - Just copy me 1303 01:47:53,767 --> 01:47:55,508 What are we doing? 1304 01:48:01,509 --> 01:48:03,113 Shut your eyes! 1305 01:48:03,210 --> 01:48:04,951 How do I copy then? 1306 01:48:05,012 --> 01:48:06,923 Right. Keep them open 1307 01:49:41,142 --> 01:49:44,146 To steal glances at you all clay 1308 01:49:44,545 --> 01:49:47,185 To strain for every word you say 1309 01:49:47,648 --> 01:49:50,595 To put every chore aside 1310 01:49:50,851 --> 01:49:53,832 And follow your every stride 1311 01:49:53,988 --> 01:49:56,662 That's nothing but a waste of time 1312 01:49:57,091 --> 01:49:59,935 Love is a waste of time 1313 01:50:00,494 --> 01:50:02,940 Amore is nothing more 1314 01:50:03,497 --> 01:50:06,444 Love is a waste of time 1315 01:50:06,834 --> 01:50:09,838 But my mind and heart insist 1316 01:50:10,037 --> 01:50:12,881 Once in this life at least 1317 01:50:13,440 --> 01:50:15,716 I must waste my time 1318 01:50:16,043 --> 01:50:18,785 Without reason or rhyme 1319 01:50:19,180 --> 01:50:22,059 I want to waste my time 1320 01:50:22,483 --> 01:50:24,986 I love this waste of time 1321 01:50:42,102 --> 01:50:46,573 A zillion peeps into the mirror 1322 01:50:48,542 --> 01:50:53,184 A million times I've styled my hair 1323 01:50:54,982 --> 01:51:00,125 Countless sets of clothes I've tried 1324 01:51:01,489 --> 01:51:05,904 Emptied perfume bottles with ﬂair 1325 01:51:07,561 --> 01:51:13,443 Dressing up is all I did Did nothing else worthwhile 1326 01:51:14,101 --> 01:51:16,945 Now I understand 1327 01:51:17,171 --> 01:51:19,913 That love is waste of time 1328 01:51:20,440 --> 01:51:23,444 But my mind and heart insist 1329 01:51:23,644 --> 01:51:26,648 Once in this life at least 1330 01:51:26,914 --> 01:51:29,485 I must waste my time 1331 01:51:29,650 --> 01:51:32,529 Without reason or rhyme 1332 01:51:32,886 --> 01:51:35,765 I want to waste my time 1333 01:51:36,056 --> 01:51:39,469 I love this waste of time 1334 01:52:14,895 --> 01:52:19,571 My world has topsy-turvy turned 1335 01:52:21,602 --> 01:52:26,551 I know not how to tell you 1336 01:52:27,908 --> 01:52:32,914 I smile without rhyme or reason 1337 01:52:34,114 --> 01:52:38,790 What's happening I have no clue 1338 01:52:40,621 --> 01:52:46,469 The mind just wants to soar And from rooftops yeH 1339 01:52:46,961 --> 01:52:53,071 Now! understand Love is a waste of time 1340 01:52:53,467 --> 01:52:56,573 But my mind and heart insist 1341 01:52:56,704 --> 01:52:59,617 Once in this life at least 1342 01:52:59,840 --> 01:53:02,013 I must waste my time 1343 01:53:02,909 --> 01:53:05,515 Without reason or rhyme 1344 01:53:05,679 --> 01:53:08,751 I want to waste my time 1345 01:53:08,982 --> 01:53:12,486 I love this waste of time 1346 01:53:52,025 --> 01:53:55,199 The donation box is getting more questions than cash 1347 01:53:55,629 --> 01:54:00,544 Your relics don't sell anymore 1348 01:54:00,935 --> 01:54:05,042 Millions of abuses on Facebook and Twitter 1349 01:54:06,606 --> 01:54:09,883 - Just five? - Those are in support 1350 01:54:10,210 --> 01:54:12,190 The abuses are in here 1351 01:54:12,880 --> 01:54:19,058 It's time for action, Sir. Avoiding the issue can be disastrous 1352 01:54:23,724 --> 01:54:25,226 Missing: God 1353 01:54:25,626 --> 01:54:27,037 Call Cherry Bajwa 1354 01:54:27,728 --> 01:54:31,608 Tipsy has asked many questions. I'll ask him just one 1355 01:54:31,765 --> 01:54:34,712 - Hey Jaggu - What happened? 1356 01:54:35,669 --> 01:54:39,082 His Holiness wants to come on the show. To debate with Tipsy 1357 01:54:39,206 --> 01:54:41,982 - Tipsy'|| rip him! - It'll be a mother of a show! 1358 01:54:42,209 --> 01:54:45,679 Get Tipsy ready. Put the promos out 1359 01:54:45,946 --> 01:54:49,758 'The Fina! Question' Sunday 6:00 pm 1360 01:54:51,652 --> 01:54:56,123 Don't miss, 'The Fina! Question' Sunday 6:00 pm 1361 01:54:56,223 --> 01:55:01,070 My pal's become a star! Hey look, he's a rock star 1362 01:55:01,194 --> 01:55:04,971 Rock star was roaming butt naked 1363 01:55:05,165 --> 01:55:10,478 I made him a star. The bloke's on IV 1364 01:55:10,904 --> 01:55:17,014 and me - in this shanty town, this crappy shack 1365 01:55:17,477 --> 01:55:21,823 guzzling booze with a jackass like you 1366 01:55:21,915 --> 01:55:24,088 Star my foot! 1367 01:55:40,133 --> 01:55:42,704 Tipsy, some Bhairon Singh for you 1368 01:55:42,970 --> 01:55:44,074 Bhairon! 1369 01:55:44,204 --> 01:55:46,047 Take that line 1370 01:55:47,507 --> 01:55:49,817 - Bro! - You lusty lad 1371 01:55:50,010 --> 01:55:51,990 You're a rock star! 1372 01:55:52,112 --> 01:55:54,524 Bro, where are you? 1373 01:55:54,614 --> 01:55:57,720 In Mandawa. Coming to Delhi tomorrow 1374 01:55:57,952 --> 01:56:00,728 With a gift for you 1375 01:56:01,054 --> 01:56:05,469 I've nabbed the thief who stole your stuff 1376 01:56:05,725 --> 01:56:08,706 He sold it for 40 grand 1377 01:56:09,196 --> 01:56:11,540 - Guess to whom. - Whom? 1378 01:56:11,999 --> 01:56:15,469 His Holiness! 1379 01:56:17,637 --> 01:56:24,612 God said." it's a divine bead from Lord Shiva's necklace. Take it... 1380 01:56:25,045 --> 01:56:30,859 .. and enshrine it in a grand temple. Sighting this bead... 1381 01:56:31,017 --> 01:56:32,496 Hey, 1382 01:56:33,687 --> 01:56:35,860 what happened? 1383 01:56:36,223 --> 01:56:40,035 The thief who stole my remote is caught 1384 01:56:40,194 --> 01:56:41,696 What! Really? 1385 01:56:41,862 --> 01:56:47,210 Bro said, the thief sold it to His Holiness 1386 01:56:47,501 --> 01:56:49,208 Then His Holiness is finished! 1387 01:56:49,937 --> 01:56:53,783 We'll tell him - return the remote, 1388 01:56:54,040 --> 01:56:56,520 or the thief tells all on TV 1389 01:56:57,110 --> 01:57:02,685 So he didn't find my remote in the Himalayas! He's lying 1390 01:57:03,684 --> 01:57:07,791 Wrong Numbers are not floated by some fake God... 1391 01:57:08,188 --> 01:57:10,566 .. but by His Holiness 1392 01:57:12,893 --> 01:57:15,169 You knew this Jaggu? 1393 01:57:15,462 --> 01:57:17,772 Remember the day you mentioned Wrong Number 1394 01:57:18,031 --> 01:57:23,003 All his calls are going to a Wrong Number 1395 01:57:23,203 --> 01:57:27,948 I knew then you were on the wrong track. But I kept mum 1396 01:57:28,174 --> 01:57:31,951 If you'd called him a fraud, people would have killed you 1397 01:57:32,112 --> 01:57:34,217 People crave for the unique 1398 01:57:34,547 --> 01:57:36,083 Wrong Number! 1399 01:57:36,483 --> 01:57:39,191 Your Wrong Number concept was unique 1400 01:57:39,586 --> 01:57:42,066 Today the world supports you 1401 01:57:42,189 --> 01:57:46,831 Tipsy, my plan worked! You're going home! 1402 01:57:51,565 --> 01:57:54,944 You'll fly away tomorrow, my friend 1403 01:57:55,168 --> 01:57:58,012 Whoosh... gone 1404 01:57:59,707 --> 01:58:02,586 We'll never meet again 1405 01:58:04,044 --> 01:58:07,116 There will be such a void 1406 01:58:08,448 --> 01:58:11,088 I'll really miss you 1407 01:58:12,853 --> 01:58:14,924 Shall I stay back? 1408 01:58:17,791 --> 01:58:20,465 How can you? 1409 01:58:21,127 --> 01:58:24,574 Simple, I have a job 1410 01:58:25,031 --> 01:58:28,103 I'll get some ID made and settle here 1411 01:58:28,602 --> 01:58:32,812 I'll find someone to 'waste time' with me 1412 01:58:33,473 --> 01:58:35,851 I'll marry her 1413 01:58:36,109 --> 01:58:38,851 - Who'll marn/ you! - Why not? 1414 01:58:39,145 --> 01:58:43,685 Your wife will go nuts introducing you - 1415 01:58:44,485 --> 01:58:48,023 Meet my husband. He's Tipsy! 1416 01:58:48,989 --> 01:58:52,198 That's not my name! 1417 01:58:52,492 --> 01:58:55,098 - Tipsvvv! - I'll get a real name 1418 01:58:56,497 --> 01:59:02,140 Why don't you suggest one? A name you love 1419 01:59:02,903 --> 01:59:08,581 A man's name must match his personality 1420 01:59:08,775 --> 01:59:10,448 Right! 1421 01:59:10,577 --> 01:59:13,080 So how is my personality? 1422 01:59:13,513 --> 01:59:15,459 I'll explain 1423 01:59:16,016 --> 01:59:18,690 A poet once wrote... 1424 01:59:20,453 --> 01:59:23,457 Irony of mismatched names... 1425 01:59:23,623 --> 01:59:26,900 No poetry, please! I've something to say 1426 01:59:27,561 --> 01:59:32,010 Who says ‘What's in a name?‘ 1427 01:59:33,567 --> 01:59:37,208 If you don't get the right one, what a pain 1428 01:59:38,205 --> 01:59:42,153 Mr Burns is in fact so cool 1429 01:59:42,609 --> 01:59:45,488 With violence alone Mr Peace does rule 1430 01:59:46,813 --> 01:59:52,491 His name is Mr Fox But has no bushy tail 1431 01:59:53,486 --> 01:59:58,060 “I love you Jaggu" 1432 01:59:58,491 --> 02:00:02,496 One whole ton is the weight of Mr Flower 1433 02:00:02,963 --> 02:00:06,775 At his mere sight, the poor chair does cower 1434 02:00:06,934 --> 02:00:08,641 Very nice... very nice 1435 02:00:08,869 --> 02:00:12,476 Here's a bunch of cards with different names 1436 02:00:12,773 --> 02:00:16,152 Pick the one you like 1437 02:00:16,476 --> 02:00:19,013 Dand u ram Thatte? 1438 02:00:19,546 --> 02:00:21,958 - Disaster! - Next! 1439 02:00:22,716 --> 02:00:24,491 Tutari Singh? 1440 02:00:24,785 --> 02:00:26,560 Phooey! 1441 02:00:27,621 --> 02:00:29,123 Sarfaraz 1442 02:00:33,627 --> 02:00:36,164 - Sarfaraz... - What happened? 1443 02:00:36,563 --> 02:00:39,237 Keep going, find a good name 1444 02:00:42,702 --> 02:00:44,204 What's the matter? 1445 02:00:44,905 --> 02:00:46,578 Nothing 1446 02:01:38,992 --> 02:01:40,903 “I love you Jaggu" 1447 02:01:55,008 --> 02:01:56,783 Brother! 1448 02:02:29,442 --> 02:02:33,015 God is in His Heaven We mortals on ground 1449 02:02:33,479 --> 02:02:36,756 God is in His Heaven We mortals on ground 1450 02:02:37,450 --> 02:02:41,455 Nowadays He doesn't have Time to look around 1451 02:02:41,588 --> 02:02:45,593 God is in His Heaven We mortals on ground 1452 02:02:53,666 --> 02:02:57,113 Whatever may happen here He does not reprimand 1453 02:02:57,604 --> 02:03:01,609 Thousand evils, million wrongs He does not take a stand 1454 02:03:01,808 --> 02:03:06,086 Plundering is all around Bombs come to hound 1455 02:03:53,727 --> 02:03:57,072 A terrorist outfit has claimed responsibility for the blast 1456 02:03:57,497 --> 02:04:00,637 They say this was a mock drill 1457 02:04:01,100 --> 02:04:03,808 Persecute our people, and real war will follow 1458 02:04:04,103 --> 02:04:07,084 We shall protect our God 1459 02:04:28,528 --> 02:04:30,701 Where are you going, Tipsy? 1460 02:04:31,531 --> 02:04:32,737 On the show 1461 02:04:32,999 --> 02:04:35,036 You don't have to 1462 02:04:37,504 --> 02:04:39,950 I must. More than ever 1463 02:04:54,554 --> 02:04:59,799 ‘The Final Question’ Welcome to our special show 1464 02:04:59,992 --> 02:05:01,562 in which we meet Tipsy... 1465 02:05:01,628 --> 02:05:03,665 Wait a minute 1466 02:05:09,536 --> 02:05:11,482 Bring it 1467 02:05:16,943 --> 02:05:18,752 What is this? 1468 02:05:19,012 --> 02:05:23,688 God says: it's a divine bead from His necklace 1469 02:05:23,950 --> 02:05:27,591 This man claims, it's his property 1470 02:05:28,488 --> 02:05:31,833 God says: build a temple 1471 02:05:32,492 --> 02:05:35,871 And this man opposes it 1472 02:05:36,096 --> 02:05:41,569 Who do I listen to? God, or this gentleman 1473 02:05:41,934 --> 02:05:47,714 who used to hand out these blasphemous pamphlets? 1474 02:05:49,075 --> 02:05:52,113 First he claimed, God is missing 1475 02:05:52,812 --> 02:05:54,792 Then said, God is a fraud 1476 02:05:55,015 --> 02:05:58,792 Next he'll say, God is dead 1477 02:06:00,187 --> 02:06:05,728 What do you want, son? A world without God? 1478 02:06:07,894 --> 02:06:12,502 Do you have any clue how people suffer? 1479 02:06:12,832 --> 02:06:15,108 No food to eat 1480 02:06:15,802 --> 02:06:17,804 No place to live 1481 02:06:18,705 --> 02:06:21,515 No friend to talk to 1482 02:06:21,975 --> 02:06:28,620 People kill themselves. Slit their wrists, jump off buildings 1483 02:06:28,915 --> 02:06:32,920 Why? Because they have no hope 1484 02:06:33,486 --> 02:06:37,935 If bowing before God, smearing holy ash, 1485 02:06:38,691 --> 02:06:43,504 wearing amulets, gives them hope to live, 1486 02:06:43,697 --> 02:06:48,510 then who are you to snatch away that hope? 1487 02:06:48,968 --> 02:06:57,080 And if you snatch away their God, how will you fill that void? 1488 02:06:58,011 --> 02:07:02,050 This man rants about Wrong Numbers 1489 02:07:02,515 --> 02:07:08,193 Today he must tell us: what is the Right Number? 1490 02:07:16,029 --> 02:07:19,101 You are right, Your Holiness 1491 02:07:19,866 --> 02:07:25,475 There was a time I too had no food to eat 1492 02:07:26,105 --> 02:07:27,914 No place to live 1493 02:07:28,541 --> 02:07:33,615 I cried a lot because I had no friend 1494 02:07:34,981 --> 02:07:38,190 I had only one hope then - 1495 02:07:40,753 --> 02:07:42,596 God 1496 02:07:43,589 --> 02:07:46,729 Each day I hoped: tomorrow will be better 1497 02:07:47,026 --> 02:07:49,836 God will find a solution 1498 02:07:51,631 --> 02:07:58,241 I agree belief in God gives hope, 1499 02:07:59,672 --> 02:08:03,814 the strength to face ordeals 1500 02:08:04,944 --> 02:08:07,515 But I have one question 1501 02:08:10,516 --> 02:08:13,463 Which God shall I believe in? 1502 02:08:14,454 --> 02:08:17,697 You say there is ONE God 1503 02:08:18,624 --> 02:08:20,604 I say no 1504 02:08:21,594 --> 02:08:23,073 There are T\NO Gods 1505 02:08:24,630 --> 02:08:26,769 One who created us 1506 02:08:28,534 --> 02:08:32,175 And the other whom you created 1507 02:08:33,105 --> 02:08:36,518 We know nothing about the God who made us 1508 02:08:36,876 --> 02:08:41,655 But the God YOU made up, is just like you 1509 02:08:41,948 --> 02:08:46,556 Petty. Takes bribes, makes false promises 1510 02:08:46,653 --> 02:08:50,692 Readily meets the rich, keeps the poor waiting 1511 02:08:51,024 --> 02:08:54,494 Thrives on flatten]. Makes you live in fear 1512 02:08:56,529 --> 02:08:58,770 My Right Number is simple 1513 02:09:00,199 --> 02:09:04,909 The God who created us all, believe in Him 1514 02:09:06,472 --> 02:09:09,783 The God YOU created - 1515 02:09:10,710 --> 02:09:12,917 abolish him 1516 02:09:13,179 --> 02:09:14,658 Yes! 1517 02:09:15,047 --> 02:09:19,052 You'll abolish my God and I'll keep quiet? 1518 02:09:19,519 --> 02:09:23,558 I know how to protect my God 1519 02:09:23,723 --> 02:09:25,634 You will protect God? 1520 02:09:26,192 --> 02:09:28,103 You! 1521 02:09:28,494 --> 02:09:30,064 This is a puny planet 1522 02:09:30,796 --> 02:09:33,709 Billions of bigger planets float in space 1523 02:09:33,900 --> 02:09:38,747 And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this puny planet, have the nerve to say 1524 02:09:38,938 --> 02:09:42,647 you will protect Him, who created the Universe? 1525 02:09:43,709 --> 02:09:48,488 He doesn't need your protection. He can protect Himself 1526 02:09:51,951 --> 02:09:57,526 Today someone tried to protect God and my friend died 1527 02:09:58,491 --> 02:10:01,131 This is all that's left - his shoe 1528 02:10:01,828 --> 02:10:04,104 Stop protecting God 1529 02:10:04,664 --> 02:10:08,043 Or this planet will have no humans, only shoes 1530 02:10:08,467 --> 02:10:10,777 A Muslim terrorist blows up a train 1531 02:10:11,671 --> 02:10:17,053 and a Hindu guru endures your sermon. That's nice 1532 02:10:17,443 --> 02:10:22,222 What's this Hindu, Muslim? Show me the label 1533 02:10:23,483 --> 02:10:26,157 You created these differences. Not God 1534 02:10:26,919 --> 02:10:32,892 This is the deadliest Wrong Number ofthis planet 1535 02:10:33,093 --> 02:10:35,835 It kills people, separates them 1536 02:10:36,195 --> 02:10:41,144 Like your Wrong Number separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz 1537 02:10:41,467 --> 02:10:47,474 - What Wrong Number? - That Sarfaraz will betray 1538 02:10:47,707 --> 02:10:50,153 He did betray her 1539 02:10:50,476 --> 02:10:54,788 - What's going on? - Hold it 1540 02:10:56,782 --> 02:11:03,996 You say my prediction about Sarfaraz was wrong? 1541 02:11:04,190 --> 02:11:05,430 Exactly! 1542 02:11:05,491 --> 02:11:09,633 Then prove it - prove my prophecy wrong! 1543 02:11:09,762 --> 02:11:14,177 Failing that, fall at my feet and admit 1544 02:11:14,533 --> 02:11:18,481 that you are a liar. You tried to defame me 1545 02:11:19,072 --> 02:11:21,143 What if I prove it? 1546 02:11:21,541 --> 02:11:23,179 Tipsy... don't! 1547 02:11:29,148 --> 02:11:30,889 Then this is yours 1548 02:11:36,923 --> 02:11:38,527 I accept 1549 02:11:38,958 --> 02:11:43,737 Turn the cameras towards Jagat Janani 1550 02:11:49,902 --> 02:11:56,615 I hope you will answer my questions truthfully 1551 02:11:59,011 --> 02:12:04,085 In Belgium you fell in love with a Pakistani boy 1552 02:12:05,551 --> 02:12:06,757 True or false? 1553 02:12:07,053 --> 02:12:09,465 Please spare my personal life 1554 02:12:09,589 --> 02:12:18,065 On Friday, at 3:21 pm I predicted this boy will betray you 1555 02:12:18,531 --> 02:12:22,877 The next day you went to the Marriage Registrar's office 1556 02:12:23,436 --> 02:12:25,109 but he didn't show up 1557 02:12:25,705 --> 02:12:28,083 True or false? 1558 02:12:28,174 --> 02:12:31,553 Yes, he didn't come. Please stop this 1559 02:12:32,945 --> 02:12:39,089 Now will you come to my feet or do I walk my feet to you? 1560 02:12:39,519 --> 02:12:43,467 - Sarfaraz did not betray. - Please let it go! 1561 02:12:43,522 --> 02:12:46,025 No. Tell us what happened that day 1562 02:12:46,459 --> 02:12:47,733 Please! 1563 02:12:47,894 --> 02:12:51,535 Just once, for my sake 1564 02:12:56,469 --> 02:12:59,507 I was at the Marriage Registrar's office and 1565 02:12:59,805 --> 02:13:01,648 a letter was brought to me 1566 02:13:01,708 --> 02:13:03,949 Did Sarfaraz bring it? 1567 02:13:05,811 --> 02:13:09,953 No. He sent it through a kid 1568 02:13:10,149 --> 02:13:13,096 - Was it signed? - No 1569 02:13:13,419 --> 02:13:17,094 How do you know Sarfaraz sent it? 1570 02:13:20,159 --> 02:13:24,539 It could have been for some other girl 1571 02:13:27,066 --> 02:13:31,742 There was another girl. With a cat, right? 1572 02:13:33,706 --> 02:13:37,677 She gave you the cat to hold for a while 1573 02:13:38,644 --> 02:13:42,456 The kid who gave you the letter- did he know you? 1574 02:13:42,582 --> 02:13:45,461 - No! - Did you know him? 1575 02:13:45,851 --> 02:13:46,761 No 1576 02:13:46,853 --> 02:13:50,596 Then how would he know the letter was for you? 1577 02:13:51,790 --> 02:13:58,503 Maybe he was told to give the letter to the girl with the cat 1578 02:14:00,633 --> 02:14:07,050 You read the letter, but didn't call Sarfaraz 1579 02:14:07,640 --> 02:14:09,881 Did you? 1580 02:14:10,676 --> 02:14:17,821 Because this man planted a Wrong Number - that Muslims betray 1581 02:14:18,151 --> 02:14:20,529 Sarfaraz didn't betray you 1582 02:14:20,653 --> 02:14:21,927 What's going on? 1583 02:14:22,521 --> 02:14:27,493 You expect us to believe these cat and bull stories? 1584 02:14:27,527 --> 02:14:28,767 One minute 1585 02:14:29,128 --> 02:14:33,201 We'll get to the truth right now. Call Sarfaraz 1586 02:14:33,533 --> 02:14:35,672 Hurry up! 1587 02:14:37,770 --> 02:14:41,217 This number does not exist 1588 02:14:42,075 --> 02:14:45,522 Any other number? Friend, college, something? 1589 02:14:45,711 --> 02:14:48,783 - C'mon Jaggu! - Belgium University 1590 02:14:53,218 --> 02:14:55,061 - Hello. - Hello! 1591 02:14:55,121 --> 02:14:59,160 I actually need to get in touch with one of your grad students 1592 02:14:59,525 --> 02:15:01,004 Sarfaraz Yousuf 1593 02:15:01,093 --> 02:15:03,539 Oh yeah. He left for Pakistan last year 1594 02:15:04,530 --> 02:15:05,907 Has he left a number? 1595 02:15:05,965 --> 02:15:08,639 Sorry, we are not authorized to give out information 1596 02:15:08,868 --> 02:15:10,575 This is really important 1597 02:15:10,636 --> 02:15:13,549 E-mail us your request and I can forward it to Student Affairs 1598 02:15:13,806 --> 02:15:15,183 Have a nice day dear 1599 02:15:15,507 --> 02:15:17,214 His Pakistan number? 1600 02:15:17,477 --> 02:15:20,549 - Don't know. - Think, Jaggu darling 1601 02:15:21,480 --> 02:15:23,926 I work at the Pakistan Embassy 1602 02:15:24,483 --> 02:15:27,054 His job - Pakistan Embassy, Belgium 1603 02:15:27,753 --> 02:15:29,994 Mitu, call the Pakistan Embassy, Belgium 1604 02:15:30,055 --> 02:15:32,501 - Copy sir. - Put it on the speakers 1605 02:15:35,761 --> 02:15:37,672 Greetings. Pakistan Embassy 1606 02:15:38,197 --> 02:15:39,733 Hello 1607 02:15:41,233 --> 02:15:44,544 A student from Lahore worked with you 1608 02:15:44,737 --> 02:15:48,583 - Sarfaraz Yousuf. - Is your name Jaggu? 1609 02:15:51,177 --> 02:15:53,680 Hello... is your name Jaggu? 1610 02:15:54,113 --> 02:15:55,786 How do you know? 1611 02:15:56,148 --> 02:15:59,891 She's called! The girl from Delhi has called 1612 02:16:00,019 --> 02:16:01,760 Farah, it's Jaggu calling 1613 02:16:01,821 --> 02:16:05,462 Mr Sayyed, hum], it's Jaggu's call from India 1614 02:16:05,691 --> 02:16:08,171 On the double everyone! 1615 02:16:10,930 --> 02:16:16,744 Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us from Lahore, even] day at 9 am 1616 02:16:17,670 --> 02:16:21,743 And with impeccable politeness asks just one question: 1617 02:16:22,074 --> 02:16:26,887 Was there a call for me from India - from Jaggu? 1618 02:16:27,113 --> 02:16:30,151 We say "No", and he disconnects 1619 02:16:30,550 --> 02:16:32,496 He's driven us crazy 1620 02:16:32,685 --> 02:16:35,256 Wait. I'll connect you to him 1621 02:16:50,669 --> 02:16:51,773 Hello... 1622 02:16:52,705 --> 02:16:55,914 - Mr Sarfaraz Yousuf? - Yes, speaking 1623 02:16:56,208 --> 02:17:00,122 - Where are you? - In Lahore. Why? 1624 02:17:00,613 --> 02:17:05,562 - Where are you right now? - At home. Why? 1625 02:17:05,985 --> 02:17:09,762 Is there a chair or a bench nearby? 1626 02:17:10,089 --> 02:17:14,469 Please sit down. You're about to get a jolt 1627 02:17:15,661 --> 02:17:17,698 Pardon me? 1628 02:17:19,198 --> 02:17:21,576 You have a call from Delhi 1629 02:17:27,473 --> 02:17:30,010 Please speak here 1630 02:17:30,576 --> 02:17:32,817 Hello... 1631 02:17:33,713 --> 02:17:36,523 Sarfaraz... 1632 02:17:39,785 --> 02:17:41,526 Jaw“ - - -... 1633 02:17:43,522 --> 02:17:44,967 Hello... 1634 02:17:46,092 --> 02:17:49,232 .. hello Jaggu, what's the matter? 1635 02:17:51,096 --> 02:17:53,576 Had you come to the Marriage Registrar's office? 1636 02:17:53,599 --> 02:17:57,513 I had, but you had left 1637 02:17:58,203 --> 02:18:00,046 Why didn't you call? 1638 02:18:00,272 --> 02:18:05,620 I got your letter. You'd said, 'Don't contact me' 1639 02:18:06,545 --> 02:18:09,025 I knew you were under family pressure 1640 02:18:09,148 --> 02:18:15,656 But deep down I knew, one day you would contact me 1641 02:18:18,023 --> 02:18:21,527 What took you so long? 1642 02:18:22,461 --> 02:18:26,705 I am sorn]. I had your Wrong Number 1643 02:18:33,973 --> 02:18:38,581 Just got the right number from a friend 1644 02:19:04,036 --> 02:19:05,743 Thank you son 1645 02:19:40,640 --> 02:19:42,517 Here, hold this 1646 02:20:06,632 --> 02:20:09,943 Tipsy! You're taking batteries home? 1647 02:20:10,135 --> 02:20:14,914 - Don't get them there. - So many! For what? 1648 02:20:15,140 --> 02:20:19,088 Back home, I'll listen to the sounds I've recorded 1649 02:20:19,478 --> 02:20:20,752 What sounds? 1650 02:20:21,013 --> 02:20:25,519 Earth sounds - crows, traffic honking 1651 02:20:25,650 --> 02:20:27,960 Up there, you'll listen to cars honking? 1652 02:20:28,186 --> 02:20:33,135 Now and then - when I miss this planet 1653 02:20:35,561 --> 02:20:39,008 Hey, wait! There's one more bag 1654 02:20:39,098 --> 02:20:40,668 Forget it, Tipsy! 1655 02:20:40,732 --> 02:20:44,544 You kidding? It's stuffed with batteries 1656 02:20:44,703 --> 02:20:47,081 Wait! 1657 02:20:50,075 --> 02:20:53,522 Driver... please stop! 1658 02:21:07,025 --> 02:21:10,837 Everyone on your planet has stick-out ears? 1659 02:21:12,031 --> 02:21:15,171 And they roam around naked? 1660 02:21:16,702 --> 02:21:19,706 Why are you staring? Something on my face? 1661 02:21:23,842 --> 02:21:29,451 I was in tenth grade, when I wrote my ﬁrst poem, 1662 02:21:30,982 --> 02:21:32,825 for Papa 1663 02:21:33,885 --> 02:21:39,198 They say my Mom I resemble. I say possible... 1664 02:21:46,698 --> 02:21:50,544 Poetry means sparse words, soaring thoughts 1665 02:21:53,005 --> 02:21:54,916 Pal, you're really cute 1666 02:21:56,708 --> 02:22:00,155 Here's to the teetotaler called Tipsy 1667 02:22:01,046 --> 02:22:04,926 Who says "What's in a name?" 1668 02:22:06,051 --> 02:22:10,124 No tape had sounds of crows or traffic honking 1669 02:22:10,889 --> 02:22:14,029 Every tape had just my voice 1670 02:22:21,733 --> 02:22:23,770 “I love you Jaggu" 1671 02:22:28,173 --> 02:22:29,880 Got it! 1672 02:22:35,180 --> 02:22:37,786 He sure made me run! 1673 02:22:40,986 --> 02:22:44,456 Tipsy, what's in these tapes? 1674 02:22:44,890 --> 02:22:47,996 Told you - crows, traffic honking 1675 02:23:00,472 --> 02:23:04,750 Every night, when your planet rises, I'll play these tapes 1676 02:23:05,978 --> 02:23:11,587 And wave at you. Like this 1677 02:23:13,719 --> 02:23:17,633 Will you wave back... now and then? 1678 02:23:19,625 --> 02:23:22,606 Haven't you recorded my voice? 1679 02:23:22,961 --> 02:23:25,532 Your voice? 1680 02:23:25,864 --> 02:23:30,040 I think I have... that one poem you recited 1681 02:23:31,136 --> 02:23:33,946 One poem? That's it? 1682 02:23:36,975 --> 02:23:39,581 I'm not exactly in love with you... 1683 02:23:39,945 --> 02:23:42,983 .. to waste all my time over you! 1684 02:24:01,900 --> 02:24:05,109 He didn't look back. Not once 1685 02:24:05,503 --> 02:24:07,676 He was hiding his tears 1686 02:24:08,573 --> 02:24:13,545 One thing he learnt from us. One thing he taught us 1687 02:24:13,912 --> 02:24:16,552 He learnt from us how to He... 1688 02:24:16,915 --> 02:24:21,091 .. and taught us how to love 1689 02:24:22,020 --> 02:24:25,024 He loved me enough to let me go 1690 02:24:25,690 --> 02:24:31,003 He came here naked. As children do 1691 02:24:32,130 --> 02:24:37,978 Asked a lot of questions. As children do 1692 02:24:40,105 --> 02:24:43,211 And then one day... 1693 02:24:44,710 --> 02:24:47,816 .. he went away 1694 02:24:48,646 --> 02:24:53,095 Four billion miles away 1695 02:24:54,519 --> 02:24:58,661 He left me two parting gifts 1696 02:25:00,526 --> 02:25:02,767 Sarfaraz 1697 02:25:03,561 --> 02:25:06,474 and Papa 1698 02:25:08,567 --> 02:25:15,746 Till I live... even] night I'll look at his planet and wave 1699 02:25:17,776 --> 02:25:22,623 I'm sure, he'll do the same 1700 02:25:25,550 --> 02:25:28,588 I miss him 1701 02:26:07,191 --> 02:26:11,606 Fellow astronauts, prepare to land on Earth 1702 02:26:11,663 --> 02:26:15,736 Remember the four Earth Survival Commandments 1703 02:26:15,967 --> 02:26:18,846 One: Do not roam around naked 1704 02:26:19,137 --> 02:26:24,644 Cuddling, making love etc. must be done in closed rooms 1705 02:26:24,776 --> 02:26:28,724 But fighting, making war etc. is allowed in the open 1706 02:26:29,013 --> 02:26:32,756 Two." Beware of language, it's confusing 1707 02:26:32,817 --> 02:26:36,663 If Earfhfings say, 'I love chicken and fish, ' 1708 02:26:36,821 --> 02:26:40,496 it doesn't mean they love animals, 1709 02:26:40,725 --> 02:26:45,071 but that animals are on the lunch menu 1710 02:26:45,497 --> 02:26:50,139 The gap between thought and speech is our topic of research 1711 02:26:50,768 --> 02:26:54,511 Three: On landing, find dancing cars for clothes 1712 02:26:54,572 --> 02:27:01,751 Hide your remotes deep in your underwear, safe from thieves 1713 02:27:01,980 --> 02:27:05,086 Four: the mother commandment 1714 02:27:05,150 --> 02:27:09,621 If anyone says: H! connect you to God, 1715 02:27:09,788 --> 02:27:14,168 dump the research, take a U-tum and run for your life 1716 02:27:26,738 --> 02:27:29,548 Come, don't be afraid 1717 02:27:34,679 --> 02:27:37,489 What are you goggling at? 1718 02:27:38,083 --> 02:27:40,893 - I have a question. - What? 1719 02:27:41,986 --> 02:27:46,765 On your last visit, how often were you whacked? 1720 02:27:54,699 --> 02:27:57,509 - What's this? - Self-defense! 1721 02:27:57,769 --> 02:27:59,874 Safety gadgets? 1722 02:28:00,105 --> 02:28:03,575 - Let's go. - Not there! This way 1723 02:28:03,708 --> 02:28:04,778 Kaput! 1723 02:28:05,305 --> 02:28:11,428 -= www.OpenSubtitles.org =-124386