All language subtitles for The Real L Word - S01E01 - The Power of the Clam-eng

My first sexual experience,
I don't even remember her name.

I was completely, totally
fucking scared shitless.

Never had a breast in
my mouth or near my face.

Yeah, all I remembered was,

was wanting to have that feeling
over and over and over again.

She flew into town and I walked in.

I pulled off my top.

I was the aggressor.

I think she was a little afraid of

what to do with me.

So I had to...

Throw caution to the wind.

I remember thinking,

"oh, my God, what did I just do?

Is that okay?" Like...

it was almost a similar
feeling to the time

I lost my virginity with a man.

It was very far outside
of my comfort zone.

I think I was 26.

And I'd have to say, she took the reins.

She kind of knew what she was doing

and I was just a, um, along for the ride.

It was hot, actually.

You know, it just clicked.

It was, um, it was incredible.

Everything just felt complete for me,

and then of course, after I had sex,

just kind of like
everything fell into place,

and I'm like, oh, right,
this makes sense now.

So I'm 9 and she's 11.

She's got boobs.

We were trying to be,
like, all romantic and sexy

and I was like, "oh, let me, like,

put whipped cream all
over you and lick it off."

I didn't have whipped cream.

But I did have sour cream.

So I put sour cream on her boobs

and then I thought to make it sweet

I would put fruity pebbles on top of it.

And then I proceeded to eat it off.

I'm just sayin'.

My first sexual experience
was being home on spring break

and my friend came home with me.

All I know is that I woke up one morning

and I was super fucking horny

and we started making out.

And before I knew it, I
was giving her an orgasm.

I was literally eating
pussy the first fucking time

I had sex with a woman and it was awesome.

[Laughs]

Sync by n17t01 - corrected by chamallow
www.Addic7ed.Com

♪ it was just the other night ♪

♪ I don't wanna think about it ♪

♪ I don't wanna start a fight ♪

♪ I don't wanna think about it ♪

♪ every time I take
a step, left, right ♪

♪ now I think I'm gonna
sleep real good tonight ♪

♪ you'll find a way to make me crazy ♪

♪ crazy ♪

I love women.

And not in a douchebaggy way.

Like, I just genuinely love them.

All right, virgin.

I am currently single.

There are a lot of girls that I take home

or I'm dating or seeing and I feel like

I just have too many
things going on at once.

I'm going to pick up my two
friends from San Francisco,

Sara and Taylor.

Hey, baby.

Taylor I've known for years
back from New York days.

What's up, mama? Mwah.

Hi.

Sara and I, you know,

had a little bit of a fling in the past

and potentially present.

How was the flight?

- It was good.
- Not so bad.

But this one doesn't remind
me that she's scared of flying

until we're on the plane
and she's digging into my arm

with her nails.

Oh, you're scared
of flying. That's cute.

- Are we gonna see Randi?
- Yeah, we are.

Actually, can you text her and just say...

Tell her the hot bitches have arrived.

[Chuckles]

So we go to Alcove to
meet two of Sara's friends

and Taylor's friends from San Francisco,

who actually just became
recent transplants to L.A.

Do you love L.A. so much?

The L.A. scene,

I wouldn't say it's full of femme girls.

I would, however, say it's
full of a more polished lesbian.

I know, but you have that natural...

I mean, I'm saying, but you
have a natural femininity

so it doesn't really... it's...

- you know, if it was, like, me...
- Right.

There would be a little more done.

It's kind of like a more attractive
crowd out here, universally.

I'm from New York, and
I think L.A. lesbians

lack the working hands
that New York lesbians have.

I know.

[Laughter]

You want to get a cigarette?

I'm gonna go with you.

About a year ago when I met Sara,

we had instant heat,
like, instant chemistry.

Just intense.

You know, circumstances after that

didn't allow us to be together.

She got in a relationship,
I got back with my ex,

a lot was going on.

In recent weeks, Sara
has become newly single.

So finally, we're both in the clear.

- This is cute.
- Thank you.

Being with Whitney is
definitely an amazing experience.

I feel like with her,

I have a very different relationship

than I've ever really had with anyone.

It's just a different kind of connection.

I feel like Whitney and I
are very similar creatures.

And it feels really good to see Whitney.

I think she's amazing.

San Francisco is
comparable to New York.

- L.A. is cheap.
- Yeah, yeah.

So if you have this weather...

It's ridiculous.

And this gay.

You should move here.

It'd be good.

[Groans]

I wanna crush your body.

- You can.
- I can.

You really can.

I can't tell if I wanna shake her,

or make out with her, or just fuck her.

All right, so where
are you gonna put it?

I don't know. Somewhere.
What do you think?

Like, in the garbage.

You're the only one I know

that carries water into a restaurant.

Jill and I have been together over a year.

Work!

Nik is my everything.

She is my best friend
and she is my partner.

I'll make the bed. I'll rub your feet.

Touch me in places I like.

We're just attached
at the hip all the time.

We recently got engaged

and now we're planning the wedding.

We'll see.

I'm not allowed to sleep
with you the night before.

Yes, you will.
No, I'm not.

I can't sleep without you.

You're gonna have
to sleep with your mom.

I really can't sleep without you.

And I'm gonna sleep
with my mom and dad.

[Laughs]

It's a tremendously large undertaking.

So we have a busy few months

ahead of us getting this ready.

You were jonesing on my brother.

I gotta get that camp picture.
Thank you for reminding me.

I've wanted to do this for a while.

We first met at summer camp.

That was my first year.

That was my first year I
was... your boyfriend was...

your boyfriend... your
brother was my boyfriend.

She was actually, funnily enough,

my brother's first little girlfriend.

And then we lost touch for about 25 years

and reconnected on a camp website.

- Is that me?
- Yeah!

I know your legs anywhere!

I had the most visceral reaction to Jill

when she got in touch with me.

I didn't even know if she was
straight of if she was gay.

I just knew that there was
a connection between us.

Oh, my God.

I fucking love you.

I've never felt that way
about another human being.

- Oh, that's nice.
- Feet?

- Sure.
- Baby, you need a pedicure.

Badly.

I think our lifestyle is very normal.

It's very family-oriented.

This little piggy went to Gucci.

And this little piggy went to h&m

'cause you gotta keep it real.

You are a no
-joke manicurist.

And you know what?

I'll do this for you when you're pregnant

- and you can't reach.
- You will?

I'm really the straightest gay person

you're ever gonna meet.

I know people that are gay in Los Angeles.

But as far as a scene, it's not,

it's not who I am.

That explains a lot.

Most people think I'm,
like, this tough Butch girl

'cause I have these tattoos.

And, um, really,

I'm just a softie on the inside.

But I'll still fuck
you up if you cross me.

No, I'm totally just kidding.

Yes. No, no, no, I'm not.

That's great.

Put your arm up on the wall.

Yeah, there you go.

I'm in the fashion business.

I have my own public
relations and marketing firm.

We produce pretty big events
in Los Angeles and New York,

fashion-related, of course.

Babe, look. This is a first.

Babe, just go with how
you feel. It's natural.

If it was natural,

I would be in his body right now,

swinging my schlong around.

- Right?
- Yes, yes.

Me personally,

I'm attracted to really feminine women.

I'm hugging my girl and
staring at a man's bare chest.

[Laughs]

That's totally what you
think about too, right?

Oh, yeah, baby, feel my pecs.

Raquel and I have been
together for about nine months.

I feel like I have the
most beautiful girlfriend

so I feel like I'm winning
and everybody else loses.

Please. I'm a
plus-sized gal.

Ut up.

Somebody said something like
gay fat is straight skinny.

What was that? I just saw that.

I'm a makeup artist
here in Los Angeles.

I do makeup for private clients.

It's hard to find time with Mikey.

She's busy, I'm busy.

We're both type "a,"

our work ethic is very similar.

Um, the boiler room's pretty dark.

Do you wanna come up there with makeup

just in case we need anything?

I'll do theirs after I do mine.

Oh, fantastic.

We actually are really
super focused on work

and probably spend 12 to 14 hours

out of our day at work.

Shanna, why don't you grab some people,

line up the outfits, what's going inside

the next shot, the next shot

I've never met anybody
that works as hard as I do.

And I've never had a girlfriend

that works as hard as I do except her.

Come on, let's go do this
last shot really quick.

We have two people that are hard workers

that wanna go somewhere in their life.

So it's been hard for us to connect,

but what's the old adage...

you'll sleep when you're dead, you know?

Give me a strong jaw. Yeah.

So how did you meet?

Raquel tackled me
at a bar 11 years ago.

Yes, I did.
True story.

When I first met Raquel,
I thought she was a tranny.

She cornered me against a wall

and tried to choke me out,
wouldn't let me into the club.

That's pretty much how it went down.

Choking each other out, um,

you know, kind of like
when you gag somebody

and you're like, fucking
them at the same time

but you're gagging them and, um,

and they like it?

That's how we met.

Oh, my God. This feels good.

I am 29,

and I think I'm a late
bloomer in a lot of ways.

Damn baby, look at you.

Damn, girl.

I first realized
that I might like women

five years ago when I
went to Magic Mountain

with a friend who, who worked with me.

I'm glad we came up here.

Yes.

You wanna go skate and get a beer?

Yes.
We should get back soon.

We were kind of being
pulled through the lines

and she grabbed my arm,
and it was like electricity

that kind of just, like,
went through my body.

And I know it seems odd,

but this lightbulb went off in my head

and I was like, "oh, my God,

"I don't want her to be my best friend,

I really... I'm attracted to her."

So that's when I realized I might be gay.

Are you staring at my cleavage?

What? I can't help it.

Where's Rochelle?

She would be staring at your cleavage too.

No way.

I'm a development executive
at a production company.

We deal with both actually films and tv.

You know what?

I don't even know if I can
get up on a surfboard anymore,

it's been so long.

I'm like, "yeah, I go
surfing all the time."

I used to go a lot,
and then I just stopped.

Yeah.
With my work schedule,

I don't even think I
could do it right now.

You know what I mean?

It's pretty much 24-7, my job.

But when I'm not working,
I do go out a lot.

It's usually work dinners
or a screening or a premiere.

And then go out with my friends
till 2:00 in the morning.

We need to get in the next couple weeks.

We will.

- Once your tattoo heals.
- Yeah.

My mother and father
live in New Jersey.

They're recently divorced.

But we're all very, very close.

My mother's this little ball of energy.

She's just a sweetheart.

- Hello?
- Hola, mamacita.

Hey, baby, how are you?

My mother is not a fan
of my sexuality at all.

We just don't talk about it.

What are you doing the rest of the day?

A couple years ago,

we had an unspoken agreement in a way

that we wouldn't talk about anything gay,

that anything else is okay, but not that.

That haircut you gave me in middle school,

I was like an ugly duckling.

No. You're beautiful.
You are so gorgeous.

I'm turning 30 this year
and life is so different now

and I'm so much more
comfortable in my skin.

No, I'm just kidding, mama.

I wanna talk to you more
but I have to get ready.

I decided that I just
need to be more aggressive.

- Okay, love you.
- I love you too, mamacita.

And I think it's time for both of us

to sort of acknowledge and
have an adult conversation

about this issue.

Girlfriend!

Hey, this is how you roll, bitches.

I'm gonna walk in with that,

- and I'm gonna get, like...
- Wait, Rose.

For one girl that says no,

there are ten that are gonna say yes.

Just gotta find them.

Let's go say hi to our little pals.

L.A. does have the prettiest girls.

L.A. does have that flashiness.

You know, L.A. does have
the mansions in Malibu

when you're hooking up
with someone in the industry

or whatever.

All that's true.

Oh, go! Go! Go!

I'm in real estate
finance. That's what I do.

I got plenty of money to spend, look.

There's a top 1% in the
lesbian scene, right?

Someone who looks good,
who can dress good,

who has a good job, who
can show you a good time.

Romance! All: Romance!

If you have that, then
you're on top of your game.

It's done.

Yeah, we need to do Vegas again.

I told you.

Dude, you and I can get straight bitches.

I came out, you know,

a lot later than a lot of people did.

I was, you know, 19, 20.

And just this whole, like, fuckin' monster

just came out of nowhere.

[Yelling indistinctly]

[Driving music and shouting]

♪ ♪

It's hard for me to
behave myself at times.

I would already have
a ten-year relationship

if I wasn't a bad girl,
you know, but I am.

♪ ♪

- Hey, baby.
- How's it going?

Mwah.

A group of us are at
the Betty@fubar tonight...

Taylor, Scarlett, Sara and I.

Scarlett is one of my best friends.

I'm stoked.

Like, I want to show
Taylor and Sara a good time.

Oh, my God.

This is her first
impression on L.A. lesbians,

and it's gotta be a good one.

[Indistinct chatter]

Growling, growling! [all growl]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Sara likes to be the center of attention.

I'm not gonna lie.

She looked so good up there.

We were all just having a fantastic time.

All of a sudden I looked
over and I noticed that

that this girl that I'd
just hooked up with, romy,

is standing right there.

Romy apparently doesn't
want to have anything to do

with the situation,

and tries to get out as fast as possible.

Mind you, Sara is wondering
what the hell is going on.

So avoiding the issue is not the solution.

God, this is so bad, man.

I cannot, or should not, multitask girls.

It's bad news.

It's fine and...
it's not fine.

No, it is.
No, it's not.

Romy and I never had any labels at all.

We were both, you know,

just trying to get to know each other.

But I didn't want to
leave things unresolved.

Romy...

And everyone told me
Whitney doesn't want anything.

She wants nothing, and she
doesn't want a relationship.

- She doesn't want to settle down.
- Who is telling you that?

- Everybody.
- Who's everybody?

'Cause you're obviously making this up,

'cause I haven't talked
to anybody except Scarlett.

Wow, I don't know who this is.

So who said this, Scarlett,

'cause Scarlett's the
only person I talked to.

I would not say that.

Romy, you know I didn't say that.

- No, it wasn't you.
- Can you just, like, call me

when you're not, like,
with people, and talk to me?

Like...

Whitney is a good person.
She has a good heart.

I don't think she ever
means to hurt anyone.

It's funny because I've never seen anyone

that could date so many people
but care about them equally.

[Exhaling]

I guess she's a polyamorous
lover, I don't know.

I don't know... What
the fuck does she want?

Scarlett, I feel like
a horrible individual.

I'm... I'm not happy with
the situation right now.

I'm not.

I'll see you guys later.

Jamie is down. Your... Jamie's a fuck.

Because I have a wife, fool!

You're staying with this cunt, right?

Have her change your diaper too. Swipe.

I used to break a lot of hearts.

But I'm in a relationship with
someone I actually care about.

[Door unlocks]

Baby, did you have a good night?

Natalie and I are cool.

We've been serious for about seven months.

You have all your roses.

I don't think you want them.

I love Rose, but Rose likes to go out,

and she likes to party,

and she likes to, like, be out there.

And sometimes she can go
a little over the edge.

Sometimes I do have that little,

you know, firecracker,
"let me get out there,

and let me just get another girl."

But for the most part, I've been behaving.

Wow.

All right, the dogs are gonna go crazy.

Scarlett, I got a
not-too-good text.

I know, I got one from romy too.

- What did it say?
- Some sad shit.

- Did it?
- Yeah?

I hate this.

- You fucked her up.
- Why?

I didn't expect to see romy.

I didn't mean to hurt her,
if that's what happened.

So I was texting her back,
apologizing for the situation.

I know it was awkward, and we
didn't really have a resolution.

So I really wanted to figure that out.

Romy, why did you walk
away from me like that?

I'm sorry because I'm
sorry that we couldn't talk.

I know, and I'm sorry.

You deserve to obviously
be treated amazing.

And you're an amazing person.

And I hope we can be...

I know that we're gonna be
great friends or whatever.

I'll be talking to you soon then.

All right, you too. Bye.

That's good.

I don't want anybody to get hurt.

That's my biggest thing. I really don't.

And I just want to try
to keep communication

as open as possible.

See, resolution.

Are you good? Do you want anything? Water?

No, I'm good, thank you.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

Good. I'm turning this off.

Jilly?

Bag separation anxiety. I
had the bag in the bedroom.

Momo!
Have bag, will travel, Morgan.

Nik and I have our little
routine in the morning.

We'll get up, and she'll make coffee.

And we'll sit down and
both get on our computers

to start looking at wedding things.

So you're pulling design ideas?

I'm pulling ideas about dresses.

Look, look, look, look,
I just found your dress.

Like, you want it to be drapey.

I love all that fabric.
I think that's stunning.

- Look at this one!
- Did you register?

I bet that's open in the back, though.

- Sweetheart?
- Yes?

I just feel like we should
keep our options open, right?

Well, you need to feel
beautiful and comfortable, so...

that's why I'm gonna look up right now

Dolce & Gabbana and Gucci white suits.

You...

I just want you to keep an open mind.

"White wedding suit for woman."

What do we call backless?

Look, baby love.

- That's sexy.
- It's so sexy.

- But is that wedding sexy?
- Yeah.

Well, I'll make it wedding sexy.

I think you'll look gorgeous,

but I would love to
see you try on a dress.

I don't want to be, like,
we're both in white dresses,

and we're like twins
walking down the aisle.

Not matching.

I would like to complement one another.

If a suit is what you love...
I'm very self-conscious.

I don't want to look like I have cleavage,

like I have an ass on my chest!

I think Nik is very headstrong.

You have two women, you have two

sensitive individuals in a relationship,

and you have two opinionated
people in a relationship.

That's a potential for some explosion.

So as long as we talk a lot

and stay open-minded,
I think we'll be okay.

I wonder what's gonna
happen when they say,

"you can now kiss the bride"?

Okay.

Well, the less dress I wear,

the quicker we'll get
through that process.

Our marriage clearly isn't
legalized by the state of California,

but we do want to have this celebration

with our friends and family.

Let's just be open-minded and look.

This dress is gorgeous.

I think it's a tremendous injustice.

Not being able to get married by law,

it makes me incensed.

You're gonna look very pretty.

But I'm sure as hell
gonna call it a marriage

because that's what it is to me.

I'm marrying her.

I want to put your head on that

so I can see the whole picture.

Let's just superimpose your head.

I'm marrying you. It's so crazy.

Wakey wakey! [laughs] Come on, baby.

It's time to get up.

I'm in a relationship right now.

It's new. It's maybe three months new.

It's amazing. Her name is Stamie.

We're definitely still
in our honeymoon phase.

Stamie's life is very complicated,

I guess you can say.

And now that I'm part of her life,

mine is a little bit as well.

[Doorbell rings]
Who is it?

The binky fairy!
Ah, the binky fairy!

[Speaks indistinctly]

Jaggy, why are your pants undone?

I had three kids.

I came in a relationship
with the baby on the way.

Got pregnant again with twins.

You want a happy?

Well, tell her about the binky fairy.

Did you get rid of all the binkies?

I did. I... I stored them in the ground.

Julie is my ex-baby mama
of my three children.

Our first son, Jagger,
is her biological child.

And the twins, Nico and Daugherty,

are my biological children.

And if you can't figure
that out on your own,

I'm not explaining it.

Let's walk mommy out and help
mama go bring the stuff in.

Hardest part about having
joint custody is joint custody.

I think we've come to good terms with that

and we make an effort
not to have any tension

in front of the kids or, you know...

I'm gonna leave my coffee cup in here

like you leave all your crap in the car.

Really? And then you
know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna drive the car to your house

and put it in your driveway like you do.

And I'm gonna leave it trashy
like you always leave the car.

Can you leave that book in there,

or does that bother you?

Does it take up too
much space in the trunk?

You break up with
someone and you're, like,

"have a good life. Talk
to you in a few years."

You know?

But when you break up
with kids, you're, like,

"hey, let's talk tomorrow and the next day

and the next day" because
you have children together.

- Bye, Jaggy.
- Have a nice day.

- Thank you. You too.
- I will.

That's why you have to stay on good terms

or you're gonna be tortured.

- They're my high heels.
- They were not.

I wear high heels.

I learned how to walk.

I took a... I took a... a grace class.

An etiquette class.

- They were a little scuffed up.
- You might want to polish them.

They're going to be polished.

That's why they were
in the car, jack-ass.

And it's fine. It's fine.

What am I gonna do,
sit in my house and cry

that my relationship didn't work out

and I have to raise three kids?

Bullshit. My life is too
short and my boobs are too big

to lock them up in the valley.

- I missed them.
- I know, right?

Yeah.

They're not my kids.

But in a way, I'm in a relationship now

with four people: Stamie and three kids.

I think I'm still kind of learning

how to handle it.

So cute.
I know.

Oh, my gosh. Lookit.

[Chuckles]
[chuckles]

What are you doing?

He kissed me!

Hello. Anybody home?

- Hey.
- Good morning. Good morning.

One of the biggest projects
we're working on right now

is Los Angeles Fashion Week.

We bring together some of
L.A.'s finest designers,

put them on the runway,

and bring in the media
and the local retail buyer.

My goals are to create the
best Los Angeles Fashion Week

that L.A.'s ever seen.

What's going on?

I just dropped off the raw 7,

but we still have one of their scarves.

Awesome.

I've got my new assistant shanna.

And Anna is our new intern.

Shanna, I got to tell you,

you did a fucking stellar job yesterday.

I couldn't be happier.

I'm so proud of you.

So how are we gonna
do the casting today?

Okay, when I give you
a one, a two, or a three,

mark that on the top of their comp card.

One, obviously, is somebody

that we probably really want to book.

Okay.
Okay?

Two is somebody that
probably has a good look,

but maybe their walk's not as strong.

Three is somebody we don't
want to use for the show.

- Okay.
- All right?

For Fashion Week, we're
really getting ramped up.

We're casting for ten different clients

that want ten different things.

Go ahead and sign in here, please.

We have to deliver the best models.

We have a lot of standards to
live up to for these designers.

They don't take this shit lightly.

They want perfection
so the pressure is on.

Two.

All right. This is a runway model.

This is... this is... this
is what they look like.

Perfect. That's great. Awesome.

Have you done runway before?

So that's a no, okay?

You want with clothes, without clothes?

What exactly do you guys want?

5 keep your clothes on.

[Clears throat] Three.

Do you want it all
the way down and back?

I can already tell...
you haven't walked yet.

I can already tell you
have runway experience.

All right.

You've done shows before, haven't you?

Yes.
I can already tell.

All right, so go... start...
go down there and start up here.

Give me a pose and back.

It's his physique. It's everything.

- Crazy.
- I can tell you right now.

- I know.
- You're such a...

I've been doing this
shit for a long time.

Yeah.

Apparently, I was wrong.

So about an hour into
the casting right now

and I just do not know where the fuck

some of these models are coming from.

Do you have your comp card?

- My what?
- Comp card.

Comp?

I hope you have a book and I
hope you have fucking experience

'cause I have, like, two seconds for you.

I have a million things
we got to do today.

It's so frustrating and such a
fucking huge waste of my time.

Is there a number worse than three?

- Are you with an agency?
- Yeah, I'm a [... ] model.

Okay. Very good.

I don't know how this
woman got our contact info.

These small, little, no-name agencies

that I've never even fucking heard of.

This is ridiculous.

We're definitely gonna
have to recast another day.

And that costs time and money.

And that's a huge problem. We're done.

I'm... I'm fucking over
it with your fucking agent,

whoever this person is.

Really?
Yeah, really.

And I... I don't mean
to take it out on you.

No, please. I... I totally understand.

I mean, I feel as unprepared as well.

And I apologize.

She literally sent me the
info, I mean, this morning.

- I don't even know this person.
- And rushed me down here.

I said "I don't even
have any of my stuff."

And she just said go.

Get this woman from
[... ] on the phone for me.

Okay.

So I can find out who the fuck she is

and why she's sending
these models over here

who obviously have zero experience.

Hi, Stacey, this is Shanna Reznik
calling from the gallery L.A.

I have Mikey for you.

Stacey? I'm okay.

Um, quick question, how did
you find out about our casting?

Because what you're
sending me over here today

are people with zero experience.

Anna who? When was that?

Hang on one second.

Did you call agencies for the casting?

You told me to call local agencies.

I said get me a list of local agencies.

Now I understand where the
problem is going on here.

All right, I apologize for that.

There's a big misunderstanding here.

Exactly. I...

if I were you,

I'd be really careful how you
have this conversation with me

'cause I am really good
at, like, not working

with another agency and we do
produce all of L.A. Fashion Week.

The booker kind of came at me
really harshly over the phone.

You need not ever send
anybody here without a book

and without a comp card, okay?

Hi.
How are you?

- Good. How about you?
- Okay.

Tell you... tell you what,

we'll never fucking work
with your agency again.

Don't ever fucking call my showroom.

Models, out.

Pull all the comp cards...
anybody with [... ] out.

I don't want to see one
fucking [... ] model in here.

All right? I don't like their
fucking attitudes, all right?

Pull all their cards. Out.

How are we gonna pull this off

weeks away from Fashion Week now?

This is gonna be a
disaster waiting to happen.

Your booker's an asshole.
I'm sorry. Not my fault.

Is this for Ceviche or no?

I have three roommates.

I live with a couple: Alyssa and Shay.

Alyssa's actually my ex-girlfriend

from years back from almost ten years ago.

We also live with Mike,

who is the bass player in Shay's band.

It's, like, one, big happy family

plus five dogs.

It doesn't get better than that.

If you want to make a giant fire,

we should really have wood.

Tonight, people are coming over.

Just a small gathering.

Our closest friends. A
bonfire. Some wine. Food.

Do you have, like,
minced garlic already?

If not, I'm gonna even use it.

Um, is this garlic?

Yeah, that's garlic.
[chuckles] Shut up.

You're, like, Jessica Simpson.

It's chicken of the sea. It's chicken.

Look at your little chef chopping skills.

It's very impressive.

Sara is so the sexy mama in the kitchen

she is just working it out.

And I'm just standing back watching her

like a complete idiot.

There's no, like, lemon juice?

She is completely running that show.

Isn't the oven preheated?
Yeah.

So we should put the stuff
that needs to go in the oven

in the oven.

See, that's why I keep you around.

Sara will always take over everything.

Put her in a room, she fucking takes over.

She's the pants right now.
You're are the pants.

We say there's pumps and there's pants.

Myself and Taylor, pants. Sara, pumps.

Pumps are the feminine girls.

Definitely touch up the
makeup before they go out.

Wear high heels.

Even though you know that shit hurts.

Pants know how to swing a hammer.

They're usually the one in control.

You're doing a very attractive job.

You're a keeper. I guess.
[chuckles]

- Hey.
- How you doing?

[Speaking native language]

We have family dinners at
my grandma's all the time.

I was pretty much raised by
my grandmother and my dad.

The only time I go to my grandmother's

is when my mom's not there.

My mom and I do not get along at all.

Like, it's a big family feud and division.

- I can't wait to eat.
- Oh!

We're gonna have a banquet.
[speaking native language]

My family was real
accepting when I came out.

It was real easy.

So it just never became a
discussion, or a problem,

or an issue.

It was acceptance from the start.

[Laughs]
[speaking native language]

[Speaking native language]

Everybody's asking about Natalie.

She's at home.

Once you have a good female

that caters towards you

and you cater towards her, it's different

because that's unconditional love.

You cater to her.

And that... you don't fuck
around with your friends,

you know what I'm saying?

My grandmother and my aunt,

my uncle and my dad,

they all want me to settle down already.

I've been out in the scene and partying

since the age of 21.

I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, angel.

We had a really bad relationship.

Restraining order was put on her.

Like, crazy stuff.

So they're just, like, "wow,

"there's finally a nice girl.

Like, just... fuck... you
know, settle down already."

But I'm not ready for that.

I mean, you know, Natalie's low-key.

Natalie's go. She's real good.

She is not a person gone
crazy like angel and the others.

The thing I like about Natalie,

she's very, like, family-oriented.

- Right.
- Angel was very controlling.

- Yeah.
- There's my baby!

Hey, look, come on here, honey.

- That's my Natalie.
- Look. That's my Natalie.

[Cheers]

Hey. Hey. She's very family-oriented.

Look at her.
Natalie.

Hi.
How are you?

- We have a conversation.
- Don't feel uncomfortable, okay?

We're having a conversation
about me settling down.

- Have a seat.
- We said how much we love you.

Rose's family makes it
easy to want to come around

and hang out.

And they're very welcoming to me.

No, we're talking about her exes, okay?

- Fuck all them exes.
- I know. Seriously.

That's why they're exes.

I'm serious.

He's saying that you're good for Rose.

Yeah. You know I love you.

- So far. So far.
- So far you're g...

[laughter]

I think Rose's past relationship

was probably not the best relationship.

And I think Rose's family...

they see Rose is actually happy now

and is more herself.

And I'm sure that makes them happy.

There's nothing better
than get along in harmony,

you know what I'm saying?

You're in this world
here for a little time.

- Make the best of it.
- Make the best of it.

- Make the best of it.
- There you go.

- And making babies.
- What?

- We're gonna what?
- Have a baby.

We're gonna get pregnant.

Rose and I are at a
point in our relationship

where we have absolutely no time to waste.

Like, it's game time.

And when I'm in it, like,
I'm in it to win it, you know?

We already have a plan.

Who's going to donate
the bubbling sperm?

What do you mean you have a plan?

Who's gonna donate? Talk to mom.

I want someone with,
like, nice hair, good skin.

Not very many, like,
health, you know, issues.

Nat has a time table.

But for me, it's... my
time table's whatever I want

and those things won't fit right now.

I have enough responsibility.

So we have to wait.

- I'm still a kid.
- She'll always be a kid.

Okay, what are you gonna help with?

Baby, when's dinner gonna be ready?

Hold on. What...

will you help me with that stuff?

Mikey...

I don't want to do anything

that I don't want to do right now, though.

I wait for Raquel to
come home all the time.

It's the like the bane of my existence.

Generally, I'm starving to death

because she hasn't come
home to cook dinner yet.

- You're being bratty.
- I know.

- Please stop it.
- Okay.

What are you helping with?

- I'm gonna watch.
- Okay.

And make sure you're doing everything

exactly how you're supposed to do it.

That is incorrect.

That's not gonna happen.

We both work a lot, so by the time

we both get home from a 12-hour day,

it's like unwinding.

You know, so to reconnect in that space,

you know, isn't always so easy.

So we do really value our time together.

I love you.

That's what I miss about New York.

All my gay boyfriends.

How do you never understand women,

but yet, you fuck so many of them?

[Laughter] Unbelievable.

I tell people you have
magical powers all the time.

The power of the clam.

[Laughter]
Oh, my God!

It's supposed to symbolize a vagina.

According to Angie, I
have power of the clam.

Whatever... and this is the clam.

You harness the power of the clam.

Now, what I'm trying
to say is profound here.

What I'm trying to say is this.

You date girls that are
looking for relationships.

You don't date girls that
are looking for a good time.

And, like...

but what girl is looking for...

what lesbian is looking for a good time?

Tell me where she is.

- You.
- That's not true.

I wouldn't call myself a player.

Honestly, 'cause... Other people might.

I don't try to play games with people.

However, I do like a lot of women.

I like women, so, you know,

if that's the definition
of a player, then maybe.

But I don't play games.

The fact of the matter is,

I try to be as honest as possible.

You do have good intentions.
You are a really good person.

It just doesn't
always come out that way.

I think that you say
what people want to hear.

Unintentionally.

Because you do like them

and you don't want to hurt their feelings.

And you also want to
see where things will go.

I think everybody you date wants to...

but you date to be in a relation...

yeah, I know, but I think
that the people that you date

are disillusioned into thinking that

it's gonna be more than
what you're willing to give.

Right, except for the fact that...

You can say "except"
all you want, Whit,

but that's the reality
of most of the situations

that you find yourself in.

I just think you need to be more upfront.

The... the time period

between dating and relationship...

in the lesbian world, especially...

is very short.

Yeah.

Well, that's why maybe you need
to slow things down a little bit.

- Baby!
- Yeah?

Come on!

[Singsong] Okay!

Kind of had a couple cocktails.

So by the time she comes home,

I think I'm the man,

and I have, like, a 12-inch cock.

And, you know,

probably trying to pull her pants down

or put my hands up her skirt

or something, you know,

completely inappropriate like that.

Come on, let's go to bed.

You can be Jillian Michaels
and I'll be Jackie Warner.

[Laughs]
We can swordfight it out.

Let's go!

She's one of the most
magnificent people I've ever met

and she's so loving.

What is your weight loss goal?

Tell me right now! Now what is it?

What is it?

She allows me to be who I am

and not take anything away from you.

And, um, she has a really
good sense of humor about it.

So thank God for that.

I think we're totally in love.

It's the Romeo and Juliet story,

but they woke up

and they reconnected,

and they're living their lives somewhere.

Yeah.

I'm a top and she's a bottom.

That's pretty much it.

Except for when I'm a
top and you're a bottom.

- Then...
- Shh.

Quit.
[laughing]

Hi! I'm Nikki. Nice to meet you.

- Good to meet you.
- Hi, I'm Jill.

Hi, Jill. I'm Camilla.

The thought of having
to produce my wedding

makes me so stressed.

I just want to show up that day.

So we put out a call to a wedding planner.

So... Here we are.

So here we is.

Truly, I don't even
know where to start.

Always start with the venue.

I mean, the good thing about L.A.

Is that, you know,

it's a very event industry related town.

There's no shortage of places to rent.

From, you know, private
estates to grand halls.

And, I mean, it can be a
little bit more complicated

to go with a private estate,

'cause you have to
bring in every component.

But... The advantages
to that is that you can

completely personalize it.

I do want a certain type of wedding.

It's gonna be very small and intimate.

And I just know that I
want it to be elegant.

You said nondenominational.

Or is it...

well, we're both Jewish.

- Oh, okay.
- So, um...

We would certainly love
to find a wonderful rabbi.

Okay.

And how traditional of a ceremony?

I mean, you're gonna have chuppah and...

chuppah, we want to break the glass.

- Sit down dinner?
- Sit down dinner.

Okay. A typical sort of four course?

- Yes.
- Because it's small, um,

I think we want to each have a best man

- and a best woman.
- Okay.

I think that we want
the food to be good.

And you can make gorgeous
flowers and candles.

The way that I would prefer to do it

is that you give me a budget.

Because I'm not gonna send you to venues

that you're gonna fall in love with

that you can't afford.

- That's fair.
- Yeah, you should, though.

- You should.
- Well, no.

I wanna see everything.

I've worked really hard to get where I am.

I left my parents' house
with $500 when I was 21.

So I just really believe in working hard

and playing hard.

What do you think the number...

and you can write it on your paper...

what do you think the
number should be for us

for this wedding?

For your overall budget?

Yeah, what do you think it should be?

For what you kind of have in mind...

yeah, but don't go by me.

Just a little bit more elegant.

I just want to know where you are.

Now, what do you think it should be?

I think it feels on the high end.

So, from there, if we can kind of...

sure.

I haven't had as much
financial success as Nikki.

Thank you so much.

I will be in touch very soon.

I'll talk to you soon.

So... I think that's probably

where my sticker shock comes from.

No, we're fine. We're good.

- This is our wedding.
-I know.

I want a balance between
having everything we want

and not going crazy because it's...

it is a weekend.

No, we're not... we're
gonna stick to the...

that is it.

I could get crazy.

I certainly am the one

to open up the checkbook pretty quickly.

Really be honest with me right now.

- What is your hesitation?
- That's a lot of money.

I've never really purchased
anything this expensive before.

And we just have to realize it's a day,

and that we don't want
to go too overboard.

Breakin' the bank. Da, cha, done.

That's the budget.

Yeah, I already put some of that on.

- You want to put more?
- Yeah, you need it right here.

Tonight, we're going to Crown Bar.

It's a cool spot. It's fairly new.

Um, it's a little t
more sophisticated crowd.

Just gonna make a real
great night out of it.

See what happens.

I'm wearing this.

I would say I go out probably
about three times a week.

That could be a lie.

I could go out almost every night.

[Laughs]

And tonight, Crown Bar in L.A.

is definitely the place to be.

Voila.

Let me have fun tonight.

- Hey...
- Let me have fun tonight.

- No, you know what?
- Don't get up in the business.

Hey, you know where to
draw the line, we're good.

If you know where to draw the line

and you remember that
you have a girlfriend,

you're not gonna have a problem.

Baby...

forget, that's when you have a problem.

Let's go.

So I need to make a left, right?

Make a left and then bust a...

will you please help me make a left?

Okay.

On both sides? Go.

Shit.

The circle of lesbians within L.A.,

it's big, but not big at all.

All you have to do is
mention to one friend

in the lesbian circle that
you're going to Crown Bar,

and, you know, 15 minutes later,

you have an entire room
full of crazy lesbos.

I love it. It's great.

[Indistinct chatter]

Hey!

[Techno music]

♪ ♪

Hey... I'm gonna go down here.

I want to meet that...
I wanna go meet that girl.

[Indistinct chatter]

I wanna go meet that girl,
so let's get the drinks.

When Whitney goes out to bars,

she does not have any inhibitions about...

Chatting people up... At all.

- It's just her character.
- She's naturally social.

Wherever she goes, she
meets a lot of people.

- What's your name?
- Tracy.

- Tracy, Whitney.
- Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Let's get a fuckin' drink.

Wait, wait. Where are you going?

I'm, like, out of here. I need a drink.

What do you mean, you're out of here?

- We're gonna get a drink.
- I'm kidding.

Where do you live?

Uh, I live in silver lake.

Okay, so we're, like,
practically neighbors.

- Where do you live?
- I mean, I live in Hollywood,

but, like, right near Silver Lake.

A little transfer.

I can call to you.

We can make a cup with a string.

[Cheering]

[Indistinct chatter]

Please. Yeah, I know.

[Indistinct chatter]

Fuckin' sorry. It's a joke.

I don't think it's funny.

Why is she mad?

I don't think it's funny.

Why are you... why are
you getting all weird?

I'm not getting weird, I just
don't think it's funny stuff.

Up until I met Natalie, you know,

I was out, about, you know,

girl after girl after girl after girl.

And I was a big cheater.

When you've been a
certain way for so long,

um, it's kind of hard
just to change overnight.

You could never
physically pick up a girl.

Babe... are you sure?
'Cause I could pick you up.

Dude!

So if I did, would you be okay?

- No.
- Okay, so stop.

You're getting all crazy.

No, I'm not. I'm just
telling you to stop.

Honey, please.

I'm sure many girls
are attracted to Rose.

I guess we're still kind
of figuring out, um...

Where... where to draw
the line as far as, uh,

other girls.

I have to remind her every time I go out

that we're going out together.

And we gotta stick together.

So...

What it is?

What it is?

What it is?

Tracy. Tracy. Over here, baby girl.

- What?
- What? What? What?

- Scarlett, Sara.
- Are you guys dating, or... ?

Um...

What, Sara and I?

Yeah.

Um...

Are you guys seeing each other?

I'm a little irritated with Whitney.

I just feel like, "where are you?

We're here together. We're hanging out."

You don't have to introduce
me as your girlfriend,

but, you know, I feel like

she's not paying attention to me.

- Are you a smoker?
- I'm not.

You're not? I quit
smoking for two years.

- You did?
- I did.

I quit coffee for two years.

- You did?
- That didn't last, though.

- I love coffee.
- Now I'm back on.

I love coffee.

So you're on to coffee.

Coffee. That's it.

So good. We should go get coffee.

We get coffee and I won't
smoke a cigarette during it.

All right.

My girlfriend has a thing
for, like, odor, like, smell.

How long have you been
with your girlfriend?

Almost four months.

Yeah, like, three and a half.

It's kind of cool.

It's, like, young love.

It's new, you know, new love.

New love.

Maybe not young love, but new love.

So you're in the honeymoon stage.

I really don't know why
Whitney's talking to Tracy,

but Sara's getting heated
up about the situation.

- All right, I'll see you later.
- All right.

She hates me.
[squeals]

I don't.

You know, the thing about Sara

is she seemed to be acting weird,

and I was not having it.

I wanted to know what
the fuck is going on.

I don't know what to think.

Like, I feel, like...

I'm feeling a little jealous.

- Of what?
- I don't know.

I feel like you and
that girl are flirting.

Maybe you want to hook up with that chick,

and I feel like you should.

Are you serious?

You got to be fucking
kidding me right now.

You're really trying to turn around

some fucking chick that I just fucking met

five minutes ago that I don't...

that has a girl?

I don't want to put myself out there

if it's... if it's in vain.

Fuck it. Like, just... that's it.

I'm done.

Babe, get your car. Get them!

I'm driving.

Yeah, yeah.

[Laughs]

I'm kidding.

Come here.

This is so retarded.

I don't know why the fuck...

I don't know what to... what to say.

Oh.

I feel like you're looking for a, like...

A way out?

Yeah.

It's not that hard.

I was in a relationship for four years.

That's looking for a way out.

Right, and I feel like
you're looking for one.

Why? I would just be like... [laughing]

I wouldn't give a fuck.

I'd be like, "listen, I'm
just not that into you."

No, and that's pretty
much what you said in there.

"Bye. See you later."

Yeah, and that's what you
said pretty much in there.

Yeah, that is, Sara.

No, I said I wasn't into it, not you.

Into you 100%.

There's no, like,
percentage left out of that.

Like, I'm into you.

It has nothing to do with you.

It has to do with the situation at hand.

What situation?

Like, I'm holding you back.

Honestly, it's, like...

What are you holding me back from?

I don't fucking know.

I just don't want to,

and that makes me feel uneasy.

That is not my fuckin' type.

And regardless of any type I have,

I'm telling you that I like you.

So if you don't...

Come here to me, okay?

If I could just read
your mind and just know...

You don't need to read my mind,

because I'm telling you
what the fuck is going on.

... A little contract that said,

"this is how I feel, I swear
to God, blah, blah, blah,"

sign here, I'd be like, "okay, that's it."

- Right.
- I'm signing too.

Is that possible?

I don't know why.

I think commitment makes me nervous.

Basically, I hate
making myself vulnerable.

I always try to put walls up,

because I'm nervous

that someone will change
their mind or pull out,

and, you know, I don't want to get hurt.

I don't want to be exposed.

You've been making comments
about the other girls,

walking away and getting lost

in, you know, your own world,

because we're having a great time.

Ugh, why are you so fucking cute?

I hate you.

The thing about lesbians is

you can go from fighting
to fucking, basically,

uh, the same night.

Ah, fuck, that feels so good.

[Moans]

Ooh.

You just made me come.

You're so fucking sexy.

Fucking... you're really good at this.

[Laughter]

I want to have champagne in the park.

Me too.

It's not gonna happen, though.

Why?

Last night wasn't just sex.

It was... it was more than that.

Sara and I have taken our relationship,

I think, to the next level.

You're not gonna make your flight.

You want me to miss it, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Today Sara is leaving.

She's going back up to San Francisco.

I'm not gonna actually
leave bed today at all.

You're not?

It's my, um, protest
against your leaving.

[Blows raspberry]

I don't want to.

I don't have a choice.

[Sighs]

It makes me sad.

I'm not usually like this.

And why is it this girl

that's making me feel slightly crazy?

She lives in San Francisco.

You know... she doesn't even live here.

Come on back with me.

Unlike San Francisco, I need a car here.

Right. So it'll happen.

You know, I think people come up

with such a romanticized version

of the term "in love."

I hate you so much.

Right now. God.

I don't know where the
boundaries begin and end.

Do you... do you just know?

So we'll just get undressed
and get back in bed.

Sure.

Lust is easy for me. Love is hard.

[Chuckles]
We'll do that.

Lust is exciting. Love is scary.

Let me just get this for you.

Oh, my God.

[Laughs]

[Engine struggling]

Fuck is wrong with my car?

It's almost like everything
is trying to keep her here.

Which... is that... is that a sign?

Are you guys showing me something here?

[Engine starts]

Ah.

My car was not supposed to start.

I'm pissed that on the
third try it actually did.

I thought I cut those wires last night.

I don't want you to go.

Oh, I'm gonna crush your hand.

I've only skimmed the surface,

finding out what's gonna
happen with Sara and I,

and I want to know, you know,

what else there could be to come.

I'll miss you.

I'll miss you too.

All right, call me when you get there

and let me know you got there safe.

Bye.

So after dropping
off Sara in departures,

I have one more thing to do.

[Quirky pop music plays]

♪ ♪

♪ love is the game ♪

♪ the game that I play ♪

♪ who knows who's the winner? ♪

♪ no tomorrow or yesterday ♪

♪ love seems so easy ♪

♪ love seems so strange ♪

♪ when we remember... ♪

Hey.

This... this is gonna be good.

Let me welcome you to L.A.

Welcome to L.A.

It's right down here.

♪ How'd you get a
face like that anyhow? ♪

I'll get this one.

You don't worry about anything.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ love is a game ♪

♪ ooh ♪

sync by n17t01 - corrected by chamallow
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