All language subtitles for The Office - 2x04 - The Fire.en

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

Sure, can I ask who's calling ?

Just a second.

Jim Halpert

What ?
How did you get this number ?

Stalker.

Katy, and Jim, met in the office.

And now I guess they're like,

going out, or dating, or something.

And, uh...

I don't know ! You know, they're just,

she calls him, and they...

You know, I'm sorry, I feel like
I'm talking really loud.

Am I talking really loud ?

So we're still on for lunch ?
You're meeting me here ?

Okay.

Great. Bye.

Hey.

You can just give her your extension.

Okay.

Synchro :Occeane
Sccript : Nikki
http://pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/

Howard, slash Ryan.

Ryan Howard is sitting in my office,

and he has been a temp
here for a couple of months

and he's kind of gotten,
a lay of the land, a little bit.

Had a few laughs along the way,
and now he wants to know,

what I think.

The temp agency wants
to know what you think.

Shall we ? Let us proceed

First up, proficiency
in necessary skills

Aaaaaaa-eeeeexcellent !

Michael's in there right
now evaluating the temp.

He hasn't evaluated me in years.

Five years from now, what do you
want to do? Where you wanna be ?

Ah, well, I'm interested in business.

Oh. Good, ambitious. Excellent.

- Want to be a manager ?
- Uh, no,

Actually, ah, what I want is
to own my own company.

That is ridiculous.

Ryan's about to attend the
Michael Scott school of business.

I'm like Mr. Miyagi and
Yoda rolled into one.

Much advice you seek.

Do you know who that is ?

Fozzie bear ?

Mm, no. That was Yoda.

There are ten rules in
business that you need to learn.

Number one.

You need to play to win.

But,

you also,

have to win, to play.

Got it.

And I will give you
the rest of the, ten at lunch.

Hey.

Michael and I have a
very special connection.

He's like Batman, I'm like Robin.

He's like the Lone Ranger,
and I'm like Tonto.

And it's not like there was the
Lone Ranger, and Tonto, and Bonto.

People !

Okay, everybody...

This is not a test ! Move to the exits !

- Devon, head towards the exits.
- Do not panic.

- Safety partners-
- Get up off your desks !

Do not panic.

- No, panic is warranted !
This is not at drill !
- Go in a single file line.

- Arms at your sides, arms at your sides.
- Please, move quickly !

This is a paper company people...

- ...Step lively!
- Go, let's go.

This whole place is a tinder box,
it is ready to blow !

This is not a test!
Can you leave?!

Oh, you say that every time.

DO YOU WANT TO DIE !?

- Oh, boy...
- Do you want to die !?

- OUT !!
- Alright, let's go, let's go.

STANLEY ! Have you ever
seen a burn victim! ?

- Come on, you're safety partners !
- Move to the exits !

You're safety partners!

We've got smoke !
We've got smoke! SMOKE !

Oh! Kelly! Are you okay ?
Don't worry, I got you !

- I'm okay!
- Cover your nose and face.

- Breathe through your nose.
- Let go of me !

Remove your stockings. Okay?

They'll melt right into your flesh !

Stay below the smoke line.

Let's go! Clear out, stat !

STAT MEANS NOW !

Yes, I was the first one out,

and yes, I've heard
women and children first.

But, we do not employ children.

We are not a sweat shop. Thankfully.

And, uh, women are equal,
in the workplace, by law.

So, I let them out first,
I have a lawsuit on my hands.

Another rule of business is being
able to adapt to different situations.

Yeah.

Adapt. React. Re-adapt.

Act. Alright ? That's rule number two.

Okay, guys, listen up,
we need a head count.

We need to count off. Michael's
number one. Where's, where is he?

So what was rule number two?

Ah, adapt, react, re-adapt, act.

Okay, well, let's just kind
of take it a little slower.

Oh, hey, Michael. Ryan needs
a number for the count off.

Okay, well, one is taken.

Okay, two ?

- NO !
- Ok. Oh, sorry ?

Okay, he can have 14,
Margerie isn't here today.

Well, he needs a
permanent number, right ?

No, I don't.

Oh, you know what else, I thought
of a nickname for the three of us.

The Three Musketeers.

Um, yeah, okay.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I got one.
I got one. The Three Stooges.

That's funny too.
But if we're the Three Musketeers...

I don't want to be like, a guy here.

You know ?

Like, Stanley is the
crossword puzzle guy.

And Angela has cats.
I don't wanna have a thing, here.

You know, I don't want to be,
the something guy.

Okay, you know what?

I think I'm going to be,
setting the agenda here.

Okay? Can everybody gather up please?

Important announcement,
very important announcement.

I think this is a perfect
opportunity for all of us

to participate in some really intense,

psychologically revealing conversations.

So we're going to
be playing, desert island.

Who would you do ?

And, um...

- ...would you rather ?
- Would you rather.

Would you rather? Is our third game.

Hey guys, great response time.

Listen up, I got some
theories, there's a...

Okay, so, three books
on a desert island...Angela.

The Bible.

That's one book, you got two others.

A Purpose Driven Life.

Nice.

- Third book.
- No.

Okay. Phyllis.

Um, The DaVinci Code.

The DaVinci Code. I would
take The DaVinci Code,

so I could burn The DaVinci Code.

Okay great, that is going to
keep you warm for like 7 seconds.

Question, is there fire
wood on the island ?

I guess.

Then I would bring an axe, no books.

Uh, it has to be a book Dwight.

Fine. Physician's Desk Reference.

Nice, smart.

Hallowed out, inside, waterproof
matches, iodine tablets,

beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket,

and, in case I get bored,
Harry Potter and Sorcerer's Stone.

No, Harry Potter and
the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Question, did my shoes come off
in the plane crash ?

Rule number four. In business,
image is everything, Andre Augessi.

This car is an investment.

Right ? If I have to take out a client,
or I'm seen around Scranton in it.

I love it, I love this car.

Do you like it ?

Yeah.

Okay, I thought people read more books.

DVDs! Five movies.
What would you bring to the island?

Yes, Meredith.

Legends of the Fall,
My Big Fat Greek Wedding,

Legally Blond, Bridges
of Madison County...

Wow.

Legends of the Fall.

Wow. Bridges of Madison County,
Legally Blond, these movies are just-

- Well, I kind of like Legally...
- Wait, wait, wait.

Pam, no. Do you understand ?

The, the game is desert island movies,
not guilty pleasure movies.

Desert island movies are the
movies you are going to watch,

for the rest of your life.

Forever ! Unforgivable.

- I take it back.
- Unforgivable.

- I take it back !
- Good.

And Ghost.
But, just that one scene...

Is this your car Ryan ?

Wow, those are some pretty
big books back there, huh ?

- Good shocks.
- Hello, Mr. Egghead

So...oh, Stanley Kaplan, I know him.

'M' is for murder, 'P' is for...

- That's actually a test prep book.
- For phone. What ?

That's a test prep, for business school?

Oh, thinking about business school ?

I just got in. I applied, I go at night.

- Really ?
- Yeah.

So you think you know
a lot about business ?

No, not yet.

- Just started.
- Uh huh. Yeah.

Quiz me.

- I wouldn't even know where to start.
- Oh, come on.

Come on, egghead. Let's do it.

- Do it.
- Quiz me up.

Alright, um,

why have people been rethinking the
Microsoft model in the past few years ?

When I was Ryan's age, I worked
in a fast food restaurant,

to save up money for school.

And I, then I, lost it in a pyramid scheme,

but I learned more about business,

right then and there, than business
school would ever teach me,

or Ryan would ever teach me.

Is it cheaper to sign a new customer ?
Or to keep an existing customer ?

- Keep an existing cus-
- Shut, it.

Can I, can I just do it please ?
Ah, it's equal.

It is ten times more expensive
to sign a new customer.

Okay, yes, it was a trick question.

He, but, look, okay,
he didn't need business school.

Okay, Michael, he,
comes from the school of hard knocks.

- Self taught.

- You didn't even go to college
- You know what,

you don't need to help me here. Okay ?

Well, you know, maybe you should
go to business school like Ryan,

then, then you'd know
what you were talking about.

Come on.

- I studying with the master, huh ?
- Why don't you go to business

Why don't you learn from him, right ?

Stop it. Dwight.

You know what, you're
acting like a dork.

Would you cool it ? Please.

Hey, hey ! He's not
your five year old brother, Dwight.

He's a valued member of this company,

and you know what, he's knows more
about business than you ever will.

Stupid.

I did not go to business school.

You know who else didn't
go to business school ?

Labron James, Tracey McGrady,
Kobe Bryant.

They right from high
school to the NBA. So...

so it's not the same thing, at all.

Look at this stuff.

Market fragments,
what is that suppose to be ?

It's a way of looking at consumers
as subsets of a larger client base.

You are so smart.
You are so eff-ing smart.

You should be teaching me.

Pam, get us back into it.

- Five movies, go ahead.
- Okay, um, Fargo,

um, Edward Scissorhands,
Dazed and Confused...

Oh, definitely in my top five.

Yes, in my top three, so suck it.

Breakfast Club. Um,

- The Princess Bride and-
- Okay that's five.

No, my all time favorite !

- Pam, play by the rules.
Play by the rules.
- All, time, favorite.

Dwight.

All time favorite movie.

The Crow.

I became a sales man.

Because of people,
I love making friends.

But then I was promoted to manager,
very young age.

I still try to be a friend first, but,

you know ?

I'm very successful, your coworkers
look at you differently...

what do you think ?

Maybe we should get some air.

Nah, I'm okay.

I'm really uncomfortable.

Alright, let's move on.

Let's move on to the main event,
who would you do ?

- Present company excluded ?
- Um, not neccessaril

Pam.

Okay. Ah, you know what ? Maybe I'll,
I'll finish explaining the rules,

let's, let me explain it first,
and then...

Yeah, so we'll get right, you know what?
I'll be right back.

Stanley, you're taking over
for me buddy. I'll be right back

Okay, um...

Dwight. Dwight.

Come on buddy, use words.

Why didn't I go to business school ?

- Who goes to business school ?
- The temp.

Yeah, it's all him and Michael
talk about anymore.

You know, I bet Ryan thinks to himself,

I wish I were a volunteer
sheriff on the weekends

- He doesn't even know that I do that.
- You should tell him.

Oh yeah Pam, right.

That's going to help things,
just talk it out.

I hope the war goes on
forever and Ryan gets drafted.

- Dwight...
- What ?

I'm sorry I said that, I didn't...
Just part of me meant it.

Besides, he'd end up being
a hero anyway.

You know what you should do ?
You should quit.

And then, that would
stick it to both of them.

Jim, I'm not going to quit.

- Then Ryan wins.
- Yeah, you're right.

Thanks you guy
I just need some alone time.

Okay.

Alright buddy.

- Hey you guys, what's going on ?
- Nothing

- Hey.
- What's up ?

Can I hang out with you guys for a bit ?

The warehouse guys are a
bunch of jackasses sometimes.

Come on, people, you know
the rules of the game now

hey, gang, what game
are we playing here ?

It's called, who would you do ?

I play this at home all the time,
while I'm falling asleep.

What, ah, where are we ?

Where are we here ?

Roy ? Roy ?

Who would you do Roy ?

I got it, uh, what's the
name of that uh,

tight ass, Christian, chick
the blond ?

My name is Angela.

Hey, Angela, Roy.

Nice to meet you.

Aaaalright, who's next, who's next,
who's next, who's next ?

Jim ? You're next.

Who would you do ?

Kevin, hands down.

Yeah

He's really got that teddy
bear thing going on,

and afterwards, we could
just watch bowling.

Well, I would definitely
have sex with Ryan.

Cause he is going
to own his own business.

You're all gay.

Who's, ah, who's next ? Who we got ?

Who...

Hey, no, I can talk,
I can talk, I can talk...

That is great timing

Wish I had my cell phone,
but I left it inside. So...

- Would that make you happy ?
- What that ?

If you had your cell phone,
it would make you happy ?

- Yeah.
- I'm on it.

Dwight. Hey !

- You can't go back in yet !
- Dwight don't !

He is an idiot.

The man is an idiot
ladies and gentlemen.

What if he dies in the fire ?

And that's the last thing
you ever said to him.

I didn't say it to him.
I said it about him.

- Jim
- Definitely Jim.

Definitely, definitely, Jim.

Come on, Pam. Come on, Pam.

Oscar's kind of cute.

Yeah, I like Oscar.

Ooh, Toby.

How long does it take
to find a cell phone ?

I don't know, is there anybody else.

Hey, where are you ?

Oh good.

Yeah, we're just here,
we're playing desert island.

It's when you pick
your five favorite DVDs...

Seriously, where the hell is Dwight ?

Hey,

Call my cell phone,

It'll make it easier for him to find.

What's your number ?

I gave it to you in the car.

I saw you program it in.

You got to...

- You got to give it to me again.
- Okay, alright.

Now I have it.

I better tell somebody.

Excuse me sir...

Dwight !?

Great God man.

Why did you, why did you go in there ?

What did you, everybody was
scared out of their wits okay ?

Everyone, okay, I have an announcement.

Apparently, in business school,

they don't teach you how
to operate a toaster oven.

Because some smart, sexy,

left his cheese pita on oven instead
of timing it for the toaster thing.

Wow. Okay.

Well, I guess they don't,

how to operate a toaster
oven in business school.

That's exactly what I said.

Hey, did you miss that day there Ryan ?

- Were you absent ?
- Toaster oven 101 ?

- You failed?
- I am so sorry.

Hey, I know what'll impress everybody,

I'll start a fire.

Oh, man. Bad idea.

Bad idea genes.

I have a song, attention everyone,
that I want sing.

That I wrote specially for this occasion
when I was up there among the flames.

Ready ?

RYAN STARTED THE FI-AH!

IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING
SINCE THE WORLD WAS TURNING !

RYAN STARTED THE FI-AH!

IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING

- SINCE THE WORLD WAS TURNING.
- Everybody !

I can't believe, I started, the fire.

RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!

MARILYN MONROE!

RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!

Now eat it, you have to eat it.

- Hey !
- Hey.

How are you ?

- I'm great, good to see you.
- It's good to see you too.

I'm hungry.
Yeah, I am too.

I have been thinking the whole way over.

And I have my answers.
What answers ?

For the, the desert island...

Oh! Right! Right, right,
right, right, come on

Ladies and gentlemen, gather around,
we have one more participant,

Come on, be polite. Be polite.

Desert island, five movies, go.

Okay

First,

legally Blond.

I forgot what a super,
nice, girl Katy is

And just, good for Jim.

They are so cute together.

And, what an adorable car.

Okay.

I think the game's over,
people are like leaving

there was a bigger crowd last time.
Do you just want to go to lunch ?

- Okay.
- Yeah ?

Alright, you want to drive ?

They are so cute.

I'm really sorry Dwight.

- Answer me this though.
- What ?

Was it worth it ?

- Was it worth it temp ?
- No.

- Was it worth it ?
- Really ?

I'm really sorry Dwight.

The fire guy ! The fire guy !

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker,

Television, North Korea,
South Korea, Marilyn Monroe,

RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!

Okay, rule five, safety first.

I.e, don't burn the building down.

Okay ? That should be a no brainer.

Oh, look !

Ryan, is book smart.

And I am street smart.

And book smart.

I'll give you the rest
of the ten, tomorrow.