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1
00:00:00,516 --> 00:00:02,110
What's up, people?
2
00:00:02,111 --> 00:00:04,434
You know there's unspoken
codes out there, right?
3
00:00:04,435 --> 00:00:07,546
For example, when somebody
shows you their ugly baby,
4
00:00:07,547 --> 00:00:10,982
you can't be like, "Damn,
that's an ugly ass baby!
5
00:00:10,983 --> 00:00:13,952
"It look like a FaceTime
with a bad Wi-Fi connection.
6
00:00:13,953 --> 00:00:16,487
Look, look at the baby's face,
it's still buffering."
7
00:00:16,488 --> 00:00:17,755
[laughs]
8
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,390
No, you gotta say,
9
00:00:19,391 --> 00:00:23,060
"Oh, look at the little baby.
10
00:00:23,061 --> 00:00:25,329
Oh, it's a baby."
11
00:00:25,330 --> 00:00:27,531
My point is, without these codes
12
00:00:27,532 --> 00:00:29,200
society would plunge into chaos.
13
00:00:29,201 --> 00:00:33,103
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I got a date with a young lady
14
00:00:33,104 --> 00:00:35,439
and after I mm-hmm,
15
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,142
I'm gonna tell her
I had a wonderful time
16
00:00:38,143 --> 00:00:39,944
and I'm gonna call her tomorrow.
17
00:00:39,945 --> 00:00:41,812
Codes.
18
00:00:41,813 --> 00:00:43,781
♪ Marlon, Marlon, Marlon,
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ♪
19
00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,749
♪ Marlon, Marlon, Marlon,
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ♪
20
00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:47,918
♪ Marlon, Marlon, Marlon,
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ♪
21
00:00:47,919 --> 00:00:53,423
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
22
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,360
[laughs]
23
00:00:56,361 --> 00:00:59,396
Girl, this spa day is long overdue.
24
00:00:59,397 --> 00:01:01,332
I'm so sorry I've been
spending so much time
25
00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:02,466
with Demetrius lately.
26
00:01:02,467 --> 00:01:04,001
- Yvette...
- Hmm?
27
00:01:04,002 --> 00:01:06,537
Do not apologize for being in love.
28
00:01:06,538 --> 00:01:08,906
I'm just glad that you're so happy.
29
00:01:08,907 --> 00:01:12,276
And I've been keeping busy
with my Groupon classes.
30
00:01:12,277 --> 00:01:13,811
Ashley, I know Demetrius
31
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:16,947
and I have been on
and off again for a while
32
00:01:16,948 --> 00:01:20,150
but this time, it's on for good.
33
00:01:20,151 --> 00:01:24,388
I mean, Demetrius got me
feeling like a brand-new me.
34
00:01:24,389 --> 00:01:26,523
Nothing can kill this vibe.
35
00:01:26,524 --> 00:01:27,825
- You know?
- Yeah.
36
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,126
- Hey, Ash.
- Hey.
37
00:01:29,127 --> 00:01:31,228
Oh, hey, Yvette.
38
00:01:31,229 --> 00:01:33,564
Girl, I ain't seen you all month.
39
00:01:33,565 --> 00:01:36,834
Well, here's a montage
of greetings you missed.
40
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:39,870
Hey, Grover.
41
00:01:39,871 --> 00:01:42,806
When did you get back
from Sesame Street?
42
00:01:42,807 --> 00:01:46,110
Hola, Chupacabra.
43
00:01:46,111 --> 00:01:49,546
Hakuna Matata, Rafiki.
44
00:01:49,547 --> 00:01:52,950
Hey, Ren, where's Stimpy?
45
00:01:52,951 --> 00:01:55,719
Hi, sidepiece of Chucky.
46
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,756
[laughs] Oh, man, I missed us.
47
00:01:58,757 --> 00:02:00,624
You know, I know what this is.
48
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:03,027
You just can't stand to see me happy.
49
00:02:03,028 --> 00:02:05,362
Girl, I can't stand
to see you, period.
50
00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:08,265
- That's mean.
- All right, knock it off.
51
00:02:08,266 --> 00:02:10,868
Yvette's in love and we should
all be excited for her.
52
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:12,870
- Pfft.
- Thank you.
53
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:15,773
Well, love is actually
a manufactured emotion.
54
00:02:15,774 --> 00:02:17,508
An evolutionary fail-safe designed
55
00:02:17,509 --> 00:02:19,710
to trick our species into procreating.
56
00:02:19,711 --> 00:02:22,846
It's an illusion. [chuckles]
57
00:02:22,847 --> 00:02:26,083
Damn it, Stevie, you're such a liar.
58
00:02:26,084 --> 00:02:27,551
Okay, Yvette, hand me my purse.
59
00:02:27,552 --> 00:02:28,986
We got about 90 minutes
60
00:02:28,987 --> 00:02:30,754
to get to the bottom
of that bottomless brunch.
61
00:02:30,755 --> 00:02:32,389
- Ah!
- Hey, hey, Ash.
62
00:02:32,390 --> 00:02:34,291
You gotta wrap your day
of beauty up at 5:00
63
00:02:34,292 --> 00:02:36,093
'cause remember,
I got Laker tickets and me
64
00:02:36,094 --> 00:02:38,395
and Stevie are going
to the game and if you know me,
65
00:02:38,396 --> 00:02:40,965
you know I am a...
together: Laker hater.
66
00:02:40,966 --> 00:02:43,801
Oh, yes, and they are playing
the Golden State Warriors
67
00:02:43,802 --> 00:02:45,803
which means they are bound to lose.
68
00:02:45,804 --> 00:02:47,738
Ah...
69
00:02:47,739 --> 00:02:49,373
I don't like none of them.
I don't like Kobe.
70
00:02:49,374 --> 00:02:53,077
I don't like the coin
stuck in his throat.
71
00:02:53,078 --> 00:02:55,045
I don't like Shaq and his loose eye
72
00:02:55,046 --> 00:02:57,348
and, you know, I can't
understand a word he's saying.
73
00:02:57,349 --> 00:03:00,684
I can't understand
anything that he's saying.
74
00:03:00,685 --> 00:03:03,253
And if Lonzo Ball
is playing Steph Curry,
75
00:03:03,254 --> 00:03:06,991
it's gonna be light on light crime.
76
00:03:06,992 --> 00:03:09,893
All right, so, be back by 5:00.
77
00:03:09,894 --> 00:03:11,862
[phone rings]
78
00:03:11,863 --> 00:03:14,331
Demetrius. [squeals]
79
00:03:14,332 --> 00:03:16,467
Hey, baby. Uh-huh.
80
00:03:16,468 --> 00:03:20,437
Lunch? Actually, Ashley and I were...
81
00:03:20,438 --> 00:03:21,538
I'd love to.
82
00:03:22,073 --> 00:03:23,107
What time do you want to pick me up?
83
00:03:23,108 --> 00:03:24,641
[knocks at door]
84
00:03:24,642 --> 00:03:26,577
Oh my God. [chuckles]
85
00:03:26,578 --> 00:03:30,214
When he misses me, he tracks my phone.
86
00:03:30,215 --> 00:03:32,516
Oh, sure, when he does it, it's cute.
87
00:03:32,517 --> 00:03:36,253
[scoffs]
88
00:03:36,254 --> 00:03:38,522
- Hi.
- Mm, there's my boo.
89
00:03:38,523 --> 00:03:39,857
Both: Mm.
90
00:03:39,858 --> 00:03:41,291
Somebody needs to tell Demetrius
91
00:03:41,292 --> 00:03:43,427
he can't turn
that frog into a princess.
92
00:03:43,428 --> 00:03:45,229
Marlon, my man.
93
00:03:45,230 --> 00:03:47,231
Hey, what's going on, jail buff?
94
00:03:47,232 --> 00:03:49,099
[laughs]
95
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,035
Whose manhood you took this week?
96
00:03:51,036 --> 00:03:53,837
[laughs]
97
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,207
I like the shirt.
98
00:03:57,208 --> 00:04:00,110
Look like you was employee
of the month at Best Buy.
99
00:04:00,111 --> 00:04:01,812
[laughs]
100
00:04:01,813 --> 00:04:03,647
Like the forklift broke
101
00:04:03,648 --> 00:04:06,550
and you started lifting
all the packages yourself.
102
00:04:06,551 --> 00:04:08,619
[mimicking mechanical noises]
103
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:10,054
[laughs]
104
00:04:10,055 --> 00:04:11,855
Oh, man, you know,
for a brother with a bunch
105
00:04:11,856 --> 00:04:14,992
of five star restaurants,
you sure got fast food tastes.
106
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:17,494
Hey, now, look,
don't be jealous, Marlon.
107
00:04:17,495 --> 00:04:20,364
All right? My baby's smart, confident,
108
00:04:20,365 --> 00:04:23,233
funny, and not to mention
she's... damn!
109
00:04:23,234 --> 00:04:24,668
Mm, mm, mm.
110
00:04:24,669 --> 00:04:28,605
Nah. [laughs]
111
00:04:28,606 --> 00:04:31,008
You got you a nappy meal. [laughs]
112
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,509
Don't make me hurt you, Marlon.
113
00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:33,677
All right, I'm sorry.
114
00:04:33,678 --> 00:04:36,680
I know them steroids make you crazy.
115
00:04:36,681 --> 00:04:38,816
All right.
116
00:04:38,817 --> 00:04:41,585
Ash, you're okay
with me changing our plans?
117
00:04:41,586 --> 00:04:44,321
Yes, go. Of course.
118
00:04:44,322 --> 00:04:45,489
Okay, I'll call you later.
119
00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:46,957
- I love you.
- I love you.
120
00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:48,192
- Mm-kay.
- Bye.
121
00:04:48,193 --> 00:04:49,259
Come on, baby.
122
00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:50,694
All right, Demetrius.
123
00:04:50,695 --> 00:04:52,396
Make sure you
have her back by midnight.
124
00:04:52,397 --> 00:04:54,631
There ain't no telling
what she's gonna turn into.
125
00:04:54,632 --> 00:04:56,333
[laughs]
126
00:04:56,334 --> 00:04:58,869
That's a Gremlin joke.
127
00:04:58,870 --> 00:05:00,804
She looks like Stripe.
128
00:05:00,805 --> 00:05:02,906
[laughs]
129
00:05:02,907 --> 00:05:04,274
I don't get it.
130
00:05:04,275 --> 00:05:06,477
What's that guy got that I don't?
131
00:05:06,478 --> 00:05:07,878
A job.
132
00:05:07,879 --> 00:05:09,746
- A house.
- A car.
133
00:05:09,747 --> 00:05:11,215
Savings account.
134
00:05:11,216 --> 00:05:13,150
It was a rhetorical question.
135
00:05:13,151 --> 00:05:15,686
[hip-hop music]
136
00:05:15,687 --> 00:05:17,154
- Marlon.
- Yeah?
137
00:05:17,155 --> 00:05:18,689
Can I get nachos?
138
00:05:18,690 --> 00:05:20,524
Negro, I ain't your daddy.
139
00:05:20,525 --> 00:05:22,259
Look, I already got you tickets
140
00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:23,961
and I bought you
that stupid foam finger
141
00:05:23,962 --> 00:05:25,629
that you just had to have.
142
00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:26,964
And I already said thank you.
143
00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:29,266
Boop. [laughs]
144
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:31,034
Oh, look, there's Demetrius.
145
00:05:31,035 --> 00:05:32,603
Maybe he'll buy me nachos.
146
00:05:32,604 --> 00:05:34,071
He owes me,
147
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:36,140
as he's currently copulating
with my future boo thang.
148
00:05:36,141 --> 00:05:38,208
Uh, brother, I think Demetrius
149
00:05:38,209 --> 00:05:40,444
is a little too busy
to buy you nachos.
150
00:05:43,681 --> 00:05:46,717
Maybe she's his cousin.
151
00:05:46,718 --> 00:05:48,519
Uh...
152
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:51,221
that's not how you kiss your cousin.
153
00:05:51,222 --> 00:05:54,224
It's not?
154
00:05:54,225 --> 00:05:55,894
Of course it's not.
155
00:05:58,152 --> 00:06:00,429
Damn, he is tasting some her.
156
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:03,966
Either that, or feeding
her like a baby bird.
157
00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:05,668
That is shameful behavior.
158
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,037
I should go over there
and give him a piece of my...
159
00:06:08,038 --> 00:06:11,340
Big D! Double D.
160
00:06:11,341 --> 00:06:12,841
Supporting his Lakers.
161
00:06:12,842 --> 00:06:14,309
- Having fun?
- Mm.
162
00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:16,444
We're having fun.
163
00:06:16,445 --> 00:06:18,947
- Charmaine, this is Marlon.
- Hey.
164
00:06:18,948 --> 00:06:20,448
- And Stevie.
- Hey.
165
00:06:20,449 --> 00:06:22,183
I didn't know
you guys were Lakers fans.
166
00:06:22,184 --> 00:06:23,451
Oh, yeah. Big fans.
167
00:06:23,452 --> 00:06:25,987
Loyal fans. Faithful fans.
168
00:06:25,988 --> 00:06:27,655
Committed fans.
169
00:06:27,656 --> 00:06:29,657
[chuckles] I'm a Laker hater.
170
00:06:29,658 --> 00:06:30,758
Oh.
171
00:06:31,293 --> 00:06:32,327
Well, hey, look, enjoy the game, guys.
172
00:06:32,328 --> 00:06:35,196
All right. Cool.
173
00:06:35,197 --> 00:06:36,865
- Hey.
- Huh?
174
00:06:36,866 --> 00:06:38,132
We cool, right?
175
00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:39,500
- Oh, oh, yeah.
- You betcha.
176
00:06:39,501 --> 00:06:41,169
- Come on, yeah, we good.
- Definitely.
177
00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:44,505
I ain't seen nothing. Look.
178
00:06:47,309 --> 00:06:49,244
How brazen. Right in front of us
179
00:06:49,245 --> 00:06:50,612
like we're not gonna tell Yvette.
180
00:06:50,613 --> 00:06:53,648
That's because we're
not gonna tell Yvette.
181
00:06:53,649 --> 00:06:55,917
Right, we should tell her anonymously,
182
00:06:55,918 --> 00:06:58,219
that way she won't
hold it against us later
183
00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:00,255
when we try to make love to her.
184
00:07:00,256 --> 00:07:01,789
Stevie.
185
00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:05,426
Listen, bro, I feel
for anybody getting played
186
00:07:05,427 --> 00:07:08,196
but we gotta uphold the man code.
187
00:07:08,197 --> 00:07:09,530
What does this have to do
188
00:07:09,531 --> 00:07:12,400
with not looking
at penises at urinals?
189
00:07:12,401 --> 00:07:14,736
I wasn't talking about that man code.
190
00:07:14,737 --> 00:07:16,905
I'm talking about
the man code that says that
191
00:07:16,906 --> 00:07:18,740
when you see another man doing dirt,
192
00:07:18,741 --> 00:07:20,541
you should shut up
and mind your business.
193
00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:22,377
Oh, I've never heard of this code.
194
00:07:22,378 --> 00:07:23,945
I was raised by women.
195
00:07:23,946 --> 00:07:25,246
Nana always said,
196
00:07:25,247 --> 00:07:27,215
"If you see something, say something.
197
00:07:27,216 --> 00:07:30,418
And always wipe from front to back."
198
00:07:30,419 --> 00:07:35,490
Well, actual men have a code
and we must uphold it.
199
00:07:35,491 --> 00:07:37,892
Okay, what if Marley was married?
200
00:07:37,893 --> 00:07:39,761
And we saw her husband
making out with some woman
201
00:07:39,762 --> 00:07:41,496
at the concession stand.
202
00:07:41,497 --> 00:07:42,997
No, no, see, that's when I black out
203
00:07:42,998 --> 00:07:44,866
and wake up
with a dead body in my trunk.
204
00:07:44,867 --> 00:07:47,168
I'm wearing space pampers,
I'm driving down the I-5
205
00:07:47,169 --> 00:07:50,038
doing 55 so the cops don't
pull me over and ask me,
206
00:07:50,039 --> 00:07:53,241
"Hey, what you doing with that
shovel in the front seat?"
207
00:07:53,242 --> 00:07:55,810
See, that's different.
Marley's my daughter.
208
00:07:55,811 --> 00:07:57,445
See, that's my family.
209
00:07:57,446 --> 00:08:00,181
Yvette is Ashley's friend, okay?
210
00:08:00,182 --> 00:08:03,685
So, this is between her and Demetrius.
211
00:08:03,686 --> 00:08:05,186
Well, it defies all logic
212
00:08:05,187 --> 00:08:07,288
and for the record,
I am diametrically opposed
213
00:08:07,289 --> 00:08:08,756
to this "code."
214
00:08:08,757 --> 00:08:10,458
Now I know why Nana
never bothered with men
215
00:08:10,459 --> 00:08:13,461
and spent her whole life with
her best friend Aunt Ruthie.
216
00:08:13,462 --> 00:08:15,963
[hip-hop music]
217
00:08:18,734 --> 00:08:21,602
Why you walking like
a "Walking Dead" zombie?
218
00:08:21,603 --> 00:08:24,305
[growls]
219
00:08:24,306 --> 00:08:25,873
I just want to hit you
in the head and go,
220
00:08:25,874 --> 00:08:29,143
"Run, Carl!" Bop!
221
00:08:29,144 --> 00:08:32,814
I had a Groupon for half off
at the batting cages.
222
00:08:32,815 --> 00:08:34,849
I took a stray pitch to the hip.
223
00:08:34,850 --> 00:08:36,551
Ashley, it's very clear
224
00:08:36,552 --> 00:08:38,019
what you're doing with these Groupons.
225
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:39,988
You're just filling the time
because Yvette is back
226
00:08:39,989 --> 00:08:41,756
with that burly ne'er-do-well.
227
00:08:41,757 --> 00:08:43,224
That's not true.
228
00:08:43,225 --> 00:08:45,259
I just have a lot
of extra time on my hands
229
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:47,428
so I'm dedicating it to myself.
230
00:08:47,429 --> 00:08:49,230
I'm very happy for Yvette.
231
00:08:49,231 --> 00:08:51,065
Lies.
232
00:08:51,066 --> 00:08:53,801
You have to come clean to her.
She's ruining your life.
233
00:08:53,802 --> 00:08:56,437
Tell her, it's either me or him.
234
00:08:56,438 --> 00:08:58,006
I mean, you or him.
235
00:08:58,007 --> 00:08:59,607
We know it's not me. [laughs]
236
00:08:59,608 --> 00:09:02,410
But it could be. [sighs]
237
00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:03,678
Stevie.
238
00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,913
We have to stay out of this.
239
00:09:05,914 --> 00:09:08,983
You heartless bastard.
240
00:09:08,984 --> 00:09:10,651
If you wanna ignore my feelings, fine,
241
00:09:10,652 --> 00:09:12,253
but what about Ashley's?
242
00:09:12,254 --> 00:09:14,322
The poor girl's in denial
over Yvette's relationship.
243
00:09:14,323 --> 00:09:17,091
Come on, Ashley's gonna be fine.
244
00:09:17,092 --> 00:09:19,927
So, will the instructors
provide the falcons
245
00:09:19,928 --> 00:09:23,097
or do I need to bring my own?
246
00:09:23,098 --> 00:09:24,899
Her mamma's half white.
247
00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:27,735
They into crazy stuff like that.
248
00:09:27,736 --> 00:09:30,271
Demetrius and Yvette,
they're not gonna last.
249
00:09:30,272 --> 00:09:33,241
Trust me, I give it a week.
250
00:09:33,242 --> 00:09:35,877
He liked it, so he put a ring on it.
251
00:09:35,878 --> 00:09:38,913
[both scream]
252
00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:40,948
Okay, so maybe two weeks.
253
00:09:40,949 --> 00:09:44,152
And he's opening up
a restaurant in New York.
254
00:09:44,153 --> 00:09:47,288
We're moving next Friday!
255
00:09:47,289 --> 00:09:50,058
Ah!
256
00:09:50,059 --> 00:09:53,161
Three weeks, tops.
257
00:09:53,162 --> 00:09:56,063
If she's pregnant, four weeks.
258
00:10:00,763 --> 00:10:01,786
Both: Oh!
259
00:10:01,787 --> 00:10:03,521
Oh my gosh, this is amazing.
260
00:10:03,522 --> 00:10:04,822
Let me see this ring.
261
00:10:04,823 --> 00:10:06,257
Oh, girl, I didn't get a ring.
262
00:10:06,258 --> 00:10:07,425
I got a rock.
263
00:10:07,426 --> 00:10:11,027
- Bam!
- Both: Ah!
264
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:13,363
Okay, so Fraggle got a rock.
265
00:10:13,364 --> 00:10:15,198
Cool.
266
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:17,500
Okay, has this gone
far enough for you, sir?
267
00:10:17,501 --> 00:10:18,902
We have to do something.
268
00:10:18,903 --> 00:10:22,038
Okay, I... listen.
I'm gonna handle this, okay?
269
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,573
Relax.
270
00:10:23,574 --> 00:10:24,941
We haven't set a date
271
00:10:24,942 --> 00:10:26,776
but we're thinking about
a spring wedding.
272
00:10:26,777 --> 00:10:29,112
- Aw.
- Yeah, but you know, girl,
273
00:10:29,113 --> 00:10:31,348
do you really want
to give up the single life?
274
00:10:31,349 --> 00:10:33,283
Girl, you've been dating so many dudes
275
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,784
that you was like one dude away
276
00:10:34,785 --> 00:10:37,621
from having your name in a rap lyric.
277
00:10:37,622 --> 00:10:39,256
♪ Hittin' Yvette in the 'vette ♪
278
00:10:39,257 --> 00:10:40,757
♪ Hittin' Yvette in the 'vette ♪
279
00:10:40,758 --> 00:10:41,791
Brrrat!
280
00:10:41,792 --> 00:10:43,326
Well, I'm giving up everythang
281
00:10:43,327 --> 00:10:45,061
for that wedding rang.
282
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,563
[both laugh]
283
00:10:46,564 --> 00:10:49,199
Yeah, and that's cute and all,
284
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,667
but, you know, think about it.
285
00:10:50,668 --> 00:10:54,537
New York, summer,
it's all hot and humid.
286
00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:56,640
You know, they wreak havoc
on your hair.
287
00:10:56,641 --> 00:10:58,975
You know, it makes it
all frizzy and poofy.
288
00:10:58,976 --> 00:11:00,310
And then in the winter,
289
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,778
it'll make it all dry and brittle.
290
00:11:01,779 --> 00:11:04,447
You're gonna have to invest
in an all-weather weave.
291
00:11:04,448 --> 00:11:09,386
Well, my husband will
take care of all of my needs.
292
00:11:09,387 --> 00:11:11,855
Yeah, but you know,
marriage... you know...
293
00:11:11,856 --> 00:11:14,124
think about it, do you
really wanna get married?
294
00:11:14,125 --> 00:11:15,992
You know, marriage is tough.
295
00:11:15,993 --> 00:11:17,661
You gotta wake up to the same face
296
00:11:17,662 --> 00:11:19,429
day after day after day
297
00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:23,967
and let's be real, you know,
that face ain't gonna age well.
298
00:11:23,968 --> 00:11:25,402
Damn it, Marlon.
299
00:11:25,403 --> 00:11:27,871
I know we got at it
all the time, but today?
300
00:11:27,872 --> 00:11:30,607
On the best day of my life?
301
00:11:30,608 --> 00:11:31,675
Marlon!
302
00:11:31,676 --> 00:11:33,510
Excuse us.
303
00:11:33,511 --> 00:11:35,612
Come on, Ash.
304
00:11:35,613 --> 00:11:37,614
Why are you being so mean?
305
00:11:37,615 --> 00:11:38,982
I wasn't being mean.
306
00:11:38,983 --> 00:11:40,317
I was gonna say she looked like Kermit
307
00:11:40,318 --> 00:11:42,552
when he sips the tea,
but I didn't wanna...
308
00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:44,554
[muttering]
309
00:11:45,957 --> 00:11:47,857
- Yvette.
- Hmm?
310
00:11:47,858 --> 00:11:49,993
Marlon and I have decided to give you
311
00:11:49,994 --> 00:11:52,662
a going away engagement party
this Saturday night
312
00:11:52,663 --> 00:11:55,465
and Marlon wants to spare no expense.
313
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:58,601
Oh, she lying... Oof!
314
00:11:58,602 --> 00:12:00,470
Thanks, Ash.
315
00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:02,472
[hip-hop music]
316
00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:04,674
Marlon, we have to do something.
317
00:12:04,675 --> 00:12:07,577
The man code
requires us to do nothing,
318
00:12:07,578 --> 00:12:08,979
say nothing, okay?
319
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:11,147
Look, it's just like
the dress code, right?
320
00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:12,615
Look...
321
00:12:12,616 --> 00:12:15,652
If you want to dress
like the president
322
00:12:15,653 --> 00:12:17,454
of a historically black university,
323
00:12:17,455 --> 00:12:19,589
hey, man, go for it.
324
00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:23,059
Who am I to tell you, you got
Jehovah Witness pants on?
325
00:12:24,628 --> 00:12:27,030
Excuse me, everybody.
326
00:12:27,031 --> 00:12:28,164
Aw.
327
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:30,367
Thank you, guys, for coming.
328
00:12:30,368 --> 00:12:33,136
Um, I'm moving to New York
with my love
329
00:12:33,137 --> 00:12:35,972
but I'm leaving
a big piece of my heart here.
330
00:12:35,973 --> 00:12:39,442
And I want to thank God
and all the little people that,
331
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:41,144
you know, supported me
through the years.
332
00:12:41,145 --> 00:12:42,445
Oh my God, girl,
333
00:12:42,446 --> 00:12:45,482
are you moving
or winning an NAACP award?
334
00:12:45,483 --> 00:12:48,218
Ashley, you're my sister.
335
00:12:48,219 --> 00:12:51,187
Your babies are my little angels.
336
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,323
And Stevie...
337
00:12:53,324 --> 00:12:56,593
you will forever be
like a brother to me.
338
00:12:56,594 --> 00:12:58,728
Damn, you all right. It's all right.
339
00:13:00,598 --> 00:13:04,434
And, I can't even believe
I'm saying this, but um...
340
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,536
I'm even gonna miss
that big-headed Marlon.
341
00:13:06,537 --> 00:13:08,038
[laughs]
342
00:13:08,039 --> 00:13:10,507
Y'all are my family.
343
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,078
You hear that, Marlon?
344
00:13:15,079 --> 00:13:16,946
She thinks we're family.
345
00:13:16,947 --> 00:13:19,516
How ridiculous is that?
346
00:13:24,755 --> 00:13:26,356
Hey, D.
347
00:13:26,357 --> 00:13:28,958
- Congratulations, bro.
- Ah, hey, hey, thank you.
348
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:30,460
- Looking sharp.
- Thank you, thank you.
349
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:33,430
Look at you, taking people
off the market and whatnot.
350
00:13:33,431 --> 00:13:35,832
Yeah, well, Yvette is well worth it.
351
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:37,600
Yeah, man, yeah, yeah...
352
00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:39,803
You know, things change
once you get a ring on it.
353
00:13:39,804 --> 00:13:42,205
You know what I mean?
Trust me, I know.
354
00:13:42,206 --> 00:13:43,907
It means no more little Laker games
355
00:13:43,908 --> 00:13:46,209
with little your friend,
you know what I'm saying?
356
00:13:46,210 --> 00:13:48,511
Yeah, no more Lakers games,
but I got some friends
357
00:13:48,512 --> 00:13:50,380
who like the Knicks
if you know what I mean.
358
00:13:50,381 --> 00:13:52,348
There ain't nobody
that like no damn Knicks.
359
00:13:52,349 --> 00:13:53,950
What you talking about?
360
00:13:53,951 --> 00:13:55,485
- Guess what.
- What?
361
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:59,589
I'm learning to play
"Ribbon in the Sky" on the harp
362
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:02,258
for your wedding day. [laughs]
363
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:05,061
- Groupon!
- [chuckles]
364
00:14:05,062 --> 00:14:07,564
Ashley, I know what you're doing.
365
00:14:07,565 --> 00:14:09,299
What? I'm just...
366
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:11,768
Excited for my girl.
367
00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:14,804
I saw you do this
after you divorced Marlon.
368
00:14:14,805 --> 00:14:18,775
You took an improv class,
then puppet making,
369
00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:21,111
and then you even had my ass
up in a hot air balloon.
370
00:14:21,112 --> 00:14:24,881
Talking about,
"We land where we land."
371
00:14:24,882 --> 00:14:28,051
You're distracting yourself
from feeling something.
372
00:14:29,220 --> 00:14:33,156
Come on.
What do you think I'm feeling?
373
00:14:34,225 --> 00:14:37,093
I'm gonna miss you too.
374
00:14:38,496 --> 00:14:41,731
- I love you.
- Aw.
375
00:14:41,732 --> 00:14:44,734
That girl's turning her
whole life upside down for you
376
00:14:44,735 --> 00:14:46,736
and you just playing her like that?
377
00:14:47,938 --> 00:14:49,739
And that involves you, how?
378
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:51,341
I'm just saying, that's Ashley's girl,
379
00:14:51,342 --> 00:14:53,309
that's how it involves me.
380
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,944
Well, how about I just bust your ass
381
00:14:54,945 --> 00:14:56,880
for being up in my business?
382
00:14:56,881 --> 00:14:58,615
You gonna... you gonna...
383
00:15:00,751 --> 00:15:03,052
Oh...
384
00:15:03,053 --> 00:15:04,587
Oh...
385
00:15:04,588 --> 00:15:06,723
That's what I wanted you to say.
386
00:15:06,724 --> 00:15:08,324
[grunts]
387
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:10,960
You gonna flare your nostrils at me?
388
00:15:10,961 --> 00:15:12,829
You gonna give me dragon nose?
389
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:16,399
I breathe you in, boy.
I breathe you in, boy.
390
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,934
Oh, you think you tough because
391
00:15:17,935 --> 00:15:19,569
you got some tattoos on your body?
392
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:24,707
Your tattoos say, "Smile,"
"Peace," and "Blessings."
393
00:15:24,708 --> 00:15:26,609
"Have a nice day."
394
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:28,845
How you gonna have tattoos
when you all dark-skinned?
395
00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:30,280
You gotta read
your tattoos like brail.
396
00:15:30,281 --> 00:15:31,814
What they say? Oh, I'm sorry about
397
00:15:31,815 --> 00:15:35,485
your grandma, may she rest in peace.
398
00:15:35,486 --> 00:15:37,921
I know you got... I know
you got pit bull ears
399
00:15:37,922 --> 00:15:41,758
but I ain't scared of you, dog.
400
00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:43,693
I'm a Doberman Pinscher.
401
00:15:43,694 --> 00:15:45,828
I'm a Great Dane.
402
00:15:45,829 --> 00:15:48,164
I'm a Rhodesian Ridgeback.
403
00:15:48,165 --> 00:15:50,567
And you don't want none of this.
404
00:15:50,568 --> 00:15:52,435
You don't want... I smell... Oh.
405
00:15:52,436 --> 00:15:53,803
I smell the fear.
406
00:15:53,804 --> 00:15:55,638
I smell the fear in you.
407
00:15:55,639 --> 00:15:57,207
That's right, 'cause I'm an animal.
408
00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:58,408
I smell the fear.
409
00:15:58,409 --> 00:15:59,609
Huh?
410
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:00,877
You don't want none of this reach.
411
00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:02,412
Boy, look at that reach.
Look at the reach.
412
00:16:02,413 --> 00:16:04,314
I connect right there. Bow!
413
00:16:04,315 --> 00:16:06,683
You out already, dog.
414
00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:08,151
You think you...
415
00:16:08,152 --> 00:16:09,852
You're gonna clinch your jaw at me?
416
00:16:09,853 --> 00:16:11,921
I'll clinch mine too.
Huh, you think you so tough?
417
00:16:11,922 --> 00:16:14,724
Oh, you think you tough 'cause
you've probably been to jail.
418
00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:16,426
I've been to jail too.
419
00:16:16,427 --> 00:16:18,761
36 hours for parking tickets, boy.
420
00:16:18,762 --> 00:16:19,996
You don't know about that.
421
00:16:19,997 --> 00:16:21,898
You don't know about the hard time.
422
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:23,866
You don't know about the hard time.
423
00:16:23,867 --> 00:16:26,035
Let me call my boys real fast for you.
424
00:16:26,036 --> 00:16:27,704
Alert! Cuckoo!
425
00:16:27,705 --> 00:16:31,407
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
426
00:16:32,943 --> 00:16:34,777
The whole gang heard it.
427
00:16:34,778 --> 00:16:38,214
Give me four minutes,
they gonna be right outside.
428
00:16:38,215 --> 00:16:40,416
Clapping on you, boy.
429
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,518
Oh, 'cause you got
a little shoulders on you.
430
00:16:42,519 --> 00:16:44,520
'Cause your shoulders got shoulders
431
00:16:44,521 --> 00:16:47,423
and your triceps is like,
all triceptical and stuff.
432
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,525
You wanna get buff?
I'll get buff with you.
433
00:16:49,526 --> 00:16:51,628
You think... and I'll get buff quick.
434
00:16:51,629 --> 00:16:52,929
Ha!
435
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:54,230
Ha!
436
00:16:54,231 --> 00:16:55,798
Ha!
437
00:16:55,799 --> 00:16:59,035
Think you all tough, looking
like a female body builder.
438
00:16:59,036 --> 00:17:00,203
[grunting]
439
00:17:00,204 --> 00:17:01,804
All right. All right, you got
440
00:17:01,805 --> 00:17:03,973
a little more weight than me.
Let me get my weight up.
441
00:17:03,974 --> 00:17:05,341
Let me get a little sammich.
442
00:17:05,342 --> 00:17:07,944
Get a little protein.
Get some protein in me.
443
00:17:07,945 --> 00:17:11,781
Mmm, boy. Now what?
444
00:17:11,782 --> 00:17:13,783
I got nutrients. I go for days.
445
00:17:13,784 --> 00:17:15,385
I got nutrients in me, boy.
446
00:17:15,386 --> 00:17:18,121
Let me get a drink real fast,
wash this down.
447
00:17:18,122 --> 00:17:19,856
Hold on one second.
448
00:17:19,857 --> 00:17:22,425
Oh, then when I get the drink
in me, if it's dark liquor...
449
00:17:22,426 --> 00:17:26,496
Oh, don't let me get
the dark liquor...
450
00:17:26,497 --> 00:17:29,265
Da-da-la, da-da-la,
da-da-la, da-da-la.
451
00:17:29,266 --> 00:17:32,435
Boy!
452
00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:35,705
I grab you by your thick neck
and toss you right through
453
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,507
that damn buffet table.
454
00:17:37,508 --> 00:17:40,076
Say I won't.
455
00:17:41,779 --> 00:17:44,047
Promise me you'll call me every day.
456
00:17:44,048 --> 00:17:45,615
Of course, girl.
457
00:17:45,616 --> 00:17:49,319
Now, let's just enjoy
this party and no more drama.
458
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,121
- Okay.
- Ah!
459
00:17:52,122 --> 00:17:54,290
[Marlon groaning]
460
00:17:58,329 --> 00:18:01,664
I should have never told
that boy my game plan.
461
00:18:04,943 --> 00:18:07,343
Demetrius, what did he say to you?
462
00:18:07,344 --> 00:18:09,512
'Cause I know he be saying stuff.
463
00:18:09,513 --> 00:18:11,146
Marlon.
464
00:18:11,147 --> 00:18:12,381
- Marlon!
- What?
465
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,783
Are you okay? What is going on?
466
00:18:14,784 --> 00:18:16,050
I'm good.
467
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,919
Me and Demetrius was just having
468
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:23,057
a little heated conversation
about, uh, fantasy basketball.
469
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:25,293
Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.
470
00:18:25,294 --> 00:18:28,630
Yeah, see, I was telling D
that I don't like the way
471
00:18:28,631 --> 00:18:30,231
he manages his team.
472
00:18:30,232 --> 00:18:32,200
He has this star player
473
00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:33,968
and he won't bench
the rest of his scrubs.
474
00:18:33,969 --> 00:18:36,571
But what Marlon doesn't
understand is they're my scrubs
475
00:18:36,572 --> 00:18:38,673
and I put them in
whatever position I want.
476
00:18:38,674 --> 00:18:40,174
Mm-hmm.
477
00:18:40,175 --> 00:18:41,609
And that's exactly what he was saying
478
00:18:41,610 --> 00:18:45,146
before he playfully tossed me
over the buffet table.
479
00:18:45,147 --> 00:18:50,051
[laughs] You stupid for that one, boy.
480
00:18:50,052 --> 00:18:52,787
But seriously...
481
00:18:52,788 --> 00:18:56,090
you should be willing
to give up your entire team
482
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:59,994
for the franchise player
like the one you got.
483
00:18:59,995 --> 00:19:01,763
Man, they both wrong.
484
00:19:01,764 --> 00:19:03,631
All you need is a good ball handler
485
00:19:03,632 --> 00:19:06,834
who can penetrate up the middle.
486
00:19:06,835 --> 00:19:08,803
[hip-hop music]
487
00:19:08,804 --> 00:19:10,905
Aw, come on, Ash.
488
00:19:10,906 --> 00:19:12,206
It's not like I get thrown
489
00:19:12,207 --> 00:19:13,975
through a buffet table every day.
490
00:19:13,976 --> 00:19:15,476
True.
491
00:19:15,477 --> 00:19:19,414
But three times
since I've known you is a lot.
492
00:19:22,451 --> 00:19:24,586
Yvette?
493
00:19:24,587 --> 00:19:27,288
Sweetie, you okay?
494
00:19:27,289 --> 00:19:29,824
I need to talk to Marlon alone.
495
00:19:29,825 --> 00:19:32,593
Okay, I'll let you two talk.
496
00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:40,468
So...
497
00:19:40,469 --> 00:19:42,503
What happened to your ring?
498
00:19:42,504 --> 00:19:45,039
Girl, did you pawn it already?
499
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:48,443
I threw it out the car window.
500
00:19:48,444 --> 00:19:51,145
I knew something was up when we left.
501
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,615
So, I pushed him...
502
00:19:53,616 --> 00:19:56,684
and he told me he was cheating on me.
503
00:19:56,685 --> 00:20:00,888
[sighs] But you knew that, didn't you?
504
00:20:00,889 --> 00:20:02,323
Nah.
505
00:20:02,324 --> 00:20:04,058
If Demetrius was double dipping,
506
00:20:04,059 --> 00:20:06,694
this is the first time
I'm hearing about it.
507
00:20:06,695 --> 00:20:08,363
Fine.
508
00:20:08,364 --> 00:20:12,166
You were just fighting over
fantasy basketball because...
509
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:17,405
you didn't like the way he was
treating his franchise player.
510
00:20:17,406 --> 00:20:20,508
She's the best player he'll ever have.
511
00:20:20,509 --> 00:20:22,176
She?
512
00:20:23,379 --> 00:20:26,514
Oh, it was, um, WNBA fantasy league.
513
00:20:26,515 --> 00:20:28,683
[chuckles] Thanks, Marlon.
514
00:20:28,684 --> 00:20:31,252
- Oh, come on.
- You're my family.
515
00:20:31,253 --> 00:20:33,488
All right, stop it.
516
00:20:33,489 --> 00:20:36,457
You're gonna make me catch
whatever it is you got.
517
00:20:36,458 --> 00:20:38,159
- Marlon.
- What?
518
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,261
You better be hugging her back.
519
00:20:40,262 --> 00:20:42,930
All right, nosey.
520
00:20:42,931 --> 00:20:44,265
All right.
521
00:20:44,266 --> 00:20:46,367
I gotta do something about my face.
522
00:20:46,368 --> 00:20:48,836
Girl, I've been
telling you that for years.
523
00:20:48,837 --> 00:20:51,673
- Shut up.
- [laughs]
524
00:20:51,674 --> 00:20:53,775
Hey.
525
00:20:53,776 --> 00:20:57,245
Come here, Yvette.
526
00:20:57,246 --> 00:21:00,281
You know you're too good
for that jerk, anyway.
527
00:21:00,282 --> 00:21:02,917
You know he fine.
528
00:21:02,918 --> 00:21:05,420
- Yes, he is.
- Mm-hmm.
529
00:21:05,421 --> 00:21:07,555
But you always got me.
530
00:21:07,556 --> 00:21:09,757
Bitch, that ain't the same thing.
531
00:21:09,758 --> 00:21:10,879
[laughs]
532
00:21:11,210 --> 00:21:16,710
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