Original subtitles

Last night, the Raving Teen Wolf had an accident on stage

a suspected nose was seen

The press and the fans have gathered outside the hospital overnight

Hello

I'm your anesthesiologist, Dr. Lau

Before the procedure, I have to ask you some questions

What's your name?

Who doesn't know I'm the Raving Teen Wolf

What's the surgery today?

Nose 'yob

Alright

Before we continue, I have to take a look at your injury

I come here every week

Doctors only ever asked me for autographs

never for my name

You're not a doctor

You're a Pl

From my investigation

This picture

was taken when you tried to enter

the Mr. Universe competition

Slight adjustments

is acceptable

What you've done is face/off

Can your mom recognise you?

I've practised Iron Palm for 20 years

I can finally put it to use

Stop him

He took my picture

Don't move

What're you doing?

Doctor

I need plastic surgery

Which part?

- Head to toe - What?

Do you have enough money?

I've been to the ATM

Let's do it now

- Alright - Please hurry up

Hurry up

Can I...

Can I be good looking like Steven Yeun?

Impossible!

How about Steve Buscemi?

Buscemi?

I've heard he's a nice guy

I'm sold

Plastic surgery can't fix what's inside though

Let's start with his eyes

They're one of a kind

Man, you know your watches

There are only three in Asia

One is on me, one is with my wife

and this is the third one

People are selling them for 130K

Since fate bought us together, it's yours for 98K

the original price

Isn't this the panda edition of the latest Daytona

- Well spotted - ls this real?

How could you asked that? I've got the original box here

And look at my decorations,

why would it be a fake?

I am a expert of Rolex

This is the real deal!

- Do you take cash? - No, I don't do business like this

- I promised to sell it to him - I'll give you 100K

- No... - Cash

- I promised to sell it to him for 98K - 100K

- We've agreed on a price - 105K

I promised to sell to you

You take it

I'm really buying

- He's really buying - Yeah, cash

Then take it

This watch is really nice, I really want to buy

- It's fine, buy it - I'm really buying

- Sell it to him - I'm buying

- I'm taking his money - Take it...

What's wrong?

Why stopped?

Shy or what?

You guys are so obvious

You think I'm stupid or what?

Are you ashamed of yourselves?

If you're not buying, just leave

- l'll buy it for 500 - RMB!

- HK Dollars! - Deal

HK Police

Hello

I'm from the HK Police

Chief Superintendent of Special Operation

Wang

Chief Wang

ls there a misunderstanding?

Yes, there is

I thought you are in HK as a shopping tourist

buying fake watches

Maximum fine of 2000 dollars

But after looking into it

This watch

was a stolen item from a heavy armed robbery

They used AK47 and land to air missiles

You're coercing me?

lam

He's the Thai Ice King, Eight-face Buddha

According to the USSR's FBI

USSR's FBI?

Who said USSR's FBI?

You did

FBI is from the US, are you stupid?

Let's get back to it

We've found out, Eight-face is investing in films

and has been getting close to our target

according to our Intelligence Bureau

In China's Pl circle, you're known as

Sherlock Holmes

They're just being nice

Brave and smart

As a representative of the HK Police

We would like to invite you to go undercover

Why don't you use someone from your task force?

There are a lot of moles in the police

I'm sure you've seen films like

"lnfernal Affairs", "The Departed"

the truth is

they're all based on real life stories

Really?

Our target is a very special individual

With you as our undercover

even if you fail

we can just disown you

So the police doesn't have to take the fall

And you think I'll say yes?

You're a brave and smart Pl

I'm sure you will take action against crime

You're stupid

Come on

Our target is a hero of yours

Police's spokesperson, international action superstar

Yuan Bao

No way! His films are about righteousness

How can he be a criminal? No way!

I knew you'd be his fans

Then there's more of a reason for you to accept this mission

infiltrate the crew, get close to Bao, investigate the truth

If our intelligence is wrong

You can clear your hero's name

I've already thought of a codename for this mission

Keep Calm and Be a Superstar

Director Tsui, it's getting dark

- Mr. Assistant Director - Yes

What's the call time for Bao?

600

It's nearly 1600, give him a call

- Deal with it - Yes, director

Smoking break

I am what I am

I am my own special creation

Who is it?

Alan the assistant director, right?

You're'?

The Chief asked me to find you, Chief Wang

Chief Wang

I came prepared

Come with me

There are strict rules being a crew member

I can't explain everything to you right now

but there's one important thing to remember

No underhand deals

- Remember this? - Yes

- That's all you need - Alan

The girl you had an underhand with is here again

need to give her a bigger role?

Hi

Yes

Of course

Who's that next to her?

New extra, May

NW“!

Hi

Take her to my room tonight

- she needs casting - OK

Filmmaking is serious work, we mean business

and I'll...

You won't get what I'm telling you anyway

I'm really busy today

You go help action choreographer Harley and his team

Can't you guys even do a flip properly!

You do a 540 degrees twist,

land head first

OK

- Head first! - Harley

Tiezhu

Alan asked me to help you

Hello

You do look like a smart guy

We are filming some explosions today

I've talked with the team

I'll give you something easy to do

Giving the cue

The cue? Cue to what?

Cue to the explosions

Are you crazy?!

Smoking next to the explosives

Sorry...

I'll tell the explosion team

when to start the explosions

I'll have to concentrate on the playback monitors

so during the shoot, you have to look at me

When I raise the left hand,

- it's the 1st explosion - Left?

When I raise my right, it's the 2nd explosions

And when I raise both hands, all hell breaks loose

Don't get it wrong, people can die

Bomberman Hung

Roger

This guy with the red cap

- Red cap? - He'll give you the cues

- Here - I can see you

Chill out

Harley, Bao is arriving

Get to work

Bao, the dressing room is over there

We've prepared lunch for you

Everything are low sugar, low fat, low salt and high calcium

If you don't feel like having that

Catering can change them for you

This way, please

Come on, smile

No need to be shy, come on

Let's go

If you don't feel like eating so healthy today

Catering has also prepared

cats, dogs, snakes and pangolins

- Morning - Morning

Morning

Morning, Director Tsui, what's the scene?

It's the first time you arrived from the future

after great difficulties you've found the bad guys and fight them

Harley

Here

Bao

You'll jump out from the window

Catches the virus container and swing across

After you land, the explosions will...

comes after you, and you run this way

It's excellent

How are you shooting this?

Single shot on Bao swinging across

so the audience can see clearly it's Bao himself

Are you crazy?

You can't shoot that in one shot

I'm cool with one shot

He's cool with one shot

I think...

Bao looks so cool when working

Shut up

What do you think?

ExceHent

Come on, let's start!

Get to work...

- Move... - Got it

Roll

Action

Yes

You put this in?

The stuntman slipped

Bao's acting is damn good

I traveled back 365 years in time

from future to this moment

to protect peace on earth

Hand over the virus

Why don't you go back to your future?

Get ready

- I'll give you the cue to cue him - Alright

What's he doing?

- Shit - Come on...

Damn...

BEN.!

Here!

Are you alright, still alive?

Can you do another take?

Don't move!

Here... add some blood

- Hurry up - Blood here

Here, touch up here

Listen everybody

We need continuity

I've always thought

Bao did all his own stunts

It's the same if it's done by the Bao's Team

Bao's team?

Everyone into positions

Move out

Go...

So what is the Bao's team doing now?

Re-shooting the aftermath of the accident

Action

- Bao, are you alright? - Bao

- Bao, are you hurt? - Bao, are you OK?

- Did you hurt yourself? - I'm fine...

It's more important that we have a good shot

Here, film where the blood is

I can do another take

Don't, please, don't!

They're crying, shoot them

Bao, don't do this!

BEN.!

How're you feeling?

Come on, help me up...

Bao, let's go for another take

Are you kidding me?

How can I start the explosion with so many people there?

Should I follow the cue?

Can anyone confirm?

I'll take the cue

No...

Don't...

You...

No...

Tai

The races hasn't finished yet

Help!

Help!

Come on, Bao...

Go...

My foot, it's trapped...

Get out, Bad.!

Get out!

Thanks, bro!

Come on!

What's your name?

Tiezhu

Yuan Bao

I know

Thanks for saving my life, dinner's on me

What are we having?

Come on

This is Bee's hideout, everyone here are our friends

Do whatever you want, everything's free

Hey!

Bao

I was lucky you were there today

if not I would have died

Come on, let's have a drink

Stop looking around, drink

- To you - Alright...

Well done, Bao...

Tai and the team is playing a card game

- Why don't you go join them? - Alright

You're not coming?

I don't gamble

What I like

is to play with girls

You know the game "Avoid the Post"?

What is it? I've never played

It's simple, listen up

2 and 10 are on the table, you place a bet

If it's anything from 3 to 9, you win

But if it's Jack, Queen, King or Ace, you lose

If it's 2 or 10, that'd suck

that's "hitting the post"

You lose double, it's that simple, got it?

- Deal me something good, alright? - Alright

Deal

Good hand...

Ace

This is a gift from God, he wants me to win big

I'll bet everything

Every cent that's on the table

- Come cheer for me - Come...

Hit the post...

Hit the post...

Hit the post

Who are you?

Tiezhu

Zhu as in post?

No wonder I hit the post!

You're such a bad loser

I'm a bad loser! I can kick your ass!

Bao... I mean Tai

Calm down

It's just a game

What you've lost is on me, OK?

OK, I'm going

Alright! Tai is tired, take him home

Chill out, come on

- Chill out, sleep well - OK

- I'll take you home - Piss off!

Tai used to kick ass

King of Asia Boxing

And me?

I was just a member of a stunt team

If it wasn't for him, I'd still be a nobody!

Let's sing! Come on

I'm not a singer, you're a good singer, you do it

Alright, I'll sing, I'm good at it

Microphone

"That day under the sunset"

"I saw a couple caressing each other"

"The past flashback in my mind"

"Tears came down like rain"

"Last night, I was standing in the rain"

"Looking across the street at a stand still"

"It seems like it was yesterday"

"I couldn't help myself but cried"

"lt's been at least 10 years since I cried"

"At least 10 songs can bring me comfort"

"But now tears will start flowing"

"Whenever I think of you"

"Life is like a farewell"

Bao

- What is it? - Bao

The song...

is in Mandarin

Alright

I'm Tiezhu

You... take her home

Miss Tungtung

How did you know they call me Tungtung?

I'm so happy to see you in person today, I'm ecstatic

You recognised me?

Of course...

Your debut was a fried chicken commercial

The poster from the ad. campaign

I'm still using it as my screensaver, see

Your poster

I've seen a lot of your works

You've played a colleague twice

- the sister to a male lead 3 times - Yeah...

BFF to the lead actress 5 times, right?

Right...

Even though the characters are not so important

I think you played them with heart

Thank you

You're... in Bao's film?

Yes, I just met with the director

I'm what he was looking for

Of course, you're a black belt in Taekwondo

you should have been in an action film a long time ago

But, I don't get any action scenes

What's your character?

I'm a hostage

What happens?

Director said, I'll get knockout in the first scene

Get taken away on a car

and when I wake up I'm in a storage facility

waiting for Bao to rescue me as a hostage

Well...

Remember your lines! It's a great opportunity!

Yeah!

But when I wake up

my mouth is stuffed

My lines are just...

muffled sound

- Then... what happens? - That's it

I die

So quick?

People come to see Bao's film

for him and him alone

Actresses are just garnishes on the side

Then you must be the best garnish

I'll be supporting you, come on

I will work hard

Rock on!

My assistant is here, I should go

- Bye - Alright... Good bye

I...You...

Yes

I forgot to ask, what's your name?

MY--- my name?

My name is...

Tiezhu

Tie is like...

the metal - strong

Zhu as in

schlong... I mean post

I'm... Tiezhu

Tiezhu, OK, I'll remember

- I'll see you on set, bye - See you

Why did I say schlong?

"There's at least 10 songs that can bring me comfort"

"At least"

I didn't know you can make so much being a superstar

You want to live here just being a superstar

that's just naive

If not just being a superstar

then where do your money come from?

I can tell you

but I'll have to kill you

There are so many awards

They are all for action choreography

None of them are for best actor

Buy one

Anything can be bought but the best actor award

Alright... don't buy one, OK?

You're a great actor, have a lie down

It's obvious you think us teen idols have no acting skills

- I've never thought of you that way - I'm sure you have

You're a first class actor, how could you be a teen idol

Don't take it the wrong way

Test me!

Test me!

Alright

Come on

Brutal

Kind

Lost and found

Internal conflict

Overwhelmed

What do you think?

Amazing...

Bao

Stephen Chow once said

There was a man...

called Stan-something-ski, who once said

acting comes from inside to the outside

then...

3&0?

Bao

Bao

Wake up

ls anyone here?

Anyone?

Chief

I'm inside Bao's home

It's enormous

Where's he?

He's passed out

Well done

Show me his home

What the hell!

His bathroom is bigger than my apartment

Here's a new mission

Get me one of everything that has Bao's logo on it

Chief

I'm an undercover for you, not a thief

You have to be more flexible

Extreme time requires extreme measures

I've found his computer

Did you bring the device I gave you?

Yes

This is the latest hacking tool developed by the HK Police

Once it starts

All the data from his computer will be transferred to ours

Chief, isn't that just morally wrong?

To hell with moral

All I, chief superintendent Wang, care about are results

Hack his computer

That's breaking the law

I'm Wang and I'm the law

Just do it, no questions asked!

As you wish, this is on you

Do you see anything?

It's on...

Chief, the press conference is about to start

Alright

I have a online press conference

with the US Police

Stay alert

Alright... don't be too long

"ANTl-HACKING DEFENSE ACTIVATED"

As technology advances

internet crimes can no longer be underestimated

As the leader to largest professional team in HK

is my superior

I will give my all

to fight for the core values we all believe in

God bless our homeland

"I'm Wang and I'm the law"

"Just do it, no questions asked"

"Hack his computer"

"To hell with moral"

"I'm Wang... I'm... I'm... Wang"

"Just do it..."

"Hack his computer"

"No questions asked"

"I'm Wang... No questions asked... I'm Wang"

"No questions asked... I'm... I'm... Wang"

Bao, the inspector is here

What inspector?

I told you last month

The academy is considering to give you an award

in recognition

of your professionalism in doing all of your own stunts

The inspector is here to assess you

Mr. Yuan

Hi

I'm Richard Billingham from Hollywood

Hello, welcome

Aero... plane

- Sleep good? - Sure

So what will you be filming today, any stunts?

Just a few simple moves

Yeah“.

Me stunt

Follow me

Why is this happening?

Assistant director said you're having a massage

We thought we'd film your double first

We didn't know you'd come up

What the hell?

Why is Bao doing his own jump?

Stop messing around, do it with the double

Chief, what should I do next?

You have no choice

but to gain Bao's trusts

to have a chance to learn of his secrets with the Eight-face Buddha

You have to know him inside out

Like, what he has for breakfast

Chinese or western style

Drinks coffee or tea

We're in luck that 5220's doing his own stunt

And if...

he has an accidents

falls down from above

This film Will be a hit

and breaks box office records

There might even be awards

ExceHent

As his manager, do you worry?

Yes, well...

My name is

TaiGor

He good

Shoot him...

ls the handle strong enough?

Yes

but there's a long way to slide

so your ability to hold on is more important

Hold on tight to the handle and slide across

then you'll be safe

There're boxes and mats

You'll be fine, trust me

Where's there?

Over there

Where the green rectangle is

You see it?

That'll cost me a fortune by taxi

Yeah

That's why you must hold on tight

- If not... - If not what?

Let me show you

Fall into pieces

Into positions

Ready

Bao

My lucky charm for you

What's the red stuff on it?

Just blood

It's alright

I'll put it here, to keep you safe

Break a leg

Roll camera

Get into positions

Action!

Come on!

Bao, don't jump!

I won't...

- Help me down... - Be careful

What's happening? Why's he not jumping?

Cut...

Glad you are safe

Why shouldn't I jump?

The story doesn't make sense

Right

Let's ask the director

Tell them why you think the story doesn't make sense

I want to know

Why do everything happen to Bao's character?

He is the lead actor

Things happen to him

is very normal

Then why only Bao faces danger?

Yeah, why am I the only one

who face danger?

- Get that - Young people goes to cinema these days

Why don't we ask someone younger

Young man, tell them

For me personally...

We want to see Bao...

because we like...

to see Bao in danger

If Bao's in danger, then there's action

If there's action then we should ask

action choreographer

I designed all the actions according to the screenplay

and it was written by

you, the director

Dickhead

The truth is

Bao said during the meeting

Audience only comes because of you

That's why all the dangers happen to you

WTF?

Since when you're such a good soldier?

If Bao told you to work for free, would you work for free?

Sorry, Tai

It's okay, Tai

lam a superstar

but no need everything me

Not always me, me, me, me, me

No

Everything they too

They good, me good

movie good

Well said!

I see that you have a great potential as a screenwriter

Me?

Re-write a draft

l.

l.

I'll give it a try

So? Do you like the character?

There's a lot to work with

Tiezhu

Why did you write something so great for me?

You could have just let me be a hostage

with my mouth stuffed, like this

What was wrong with that?

Why do you have me playing a robot from the future

learning the love of human?

Ever since I've gotten the screenplay

I've been worrying about this scene

I mean, if life...

gives me lemon

how should I feel?

Stop messing around!

Let's have hotpot tonight

You guys order the rest

I'll stop messing around, don't stress out

I'll get you into character, OK?

Come on, stand up...

Let's think

Has anything ever upset you in life?

Think

I have never faced any difficulties in my life

Then... what about boyfriends?

Have you ever been lied to?

I've never had a bad boyfriend

How about family?

5 generations alive and well

My great grandparents are nearly 100

They're still very active

even do pole dancing

Your great grandpas too?

They watch

Good for them...

How about pets, like when a dog dies?

My pet is a turtle

His name is Tutu

He's such a cutie

When he hears my footsteps and knows that I'm home

He'll stick his tiny head out and let me kiss it

like this

Do you feel the pain?

Does it hurt?

Do you want to cry?

Remember what you look like

Remember the feeling

Recreate this when they are shooting

Understand?

Will you remember?

I want to practise on my own

Alright...

- Bao - Remember

Tiezhu

How can a man beat a woman in public?

You've mistaken...

She's quite pretty, who is she?

She's our female lead, Tungtung

Really? We have a female lead?

She's been shooting for a few weeks

What I did is called "Maggie Cheung's Into Character Method"

- Get her into character - What?

Maggie Cheung Into Character Method

- Yeah, Maggie... - Bao,

wardrobe and makeup is waiting

What's the scene?

It's the scene with you sacrificing yourself

dead in Tungtung's arm

as she spills her heart out

Just shoot it from a low angle,

to avoid my face

then give her a dummy to play against

Ready

Roll camera

Action

I've met you at the best of time

was my good fortune

it's a shame

we have run out of time

To be honest with you

You had once graced my heart

but that was as far as it could be

Cut!

- Excellent - Marvellous

You will be the next Maggie Cheung

She why is Maggie Cheung?

I why not is Maggie Cheung?

What do you want then?

I want to Maggie Cheung

This is how it should be

Time Adventurer has a non-destructible system

She dies, and I do the gut-wrenching lines

Lights on

You must capture my tears when they fall

When I'm in character

whatever happens, even if I get my lines wrong,

nobody can cut

only I can say cut

OK

Ready

Camera rolling

Action

What's he doing?

Obviously

he wants to cry

but couldn't

WHY!!

I want to say no regrets

no regrets...

no regrets...

He's forgotten his lines

maybe there're regrets

Who cares

To be honest

I don't know if I ever graced your heart?

Please a drop of tear, so we can go home

So bad

We want tears...

Don't die on me!

Don't...

He can't cry, so he's using Tungtung to block his face

Genius

Please don't...

I don't...

I don't want to live

I will save you

I don't want to live

I don't want to live

Enough!

Wait

Bao said

We can't out, only he can say cut

What... what're you doing?

Are you using the Maggie Cheung Method

to help me cry?

Yes

That's what I'm doing

I recognise you

You are the Conscience from my Heart

appearing here to give me a boost

Yes, that's me...

So deep

Are you trying to use violence,

to tell me not to give up?

Time Adventurer

Don't give up

Don't give up

Don't give up

Here, don't move

- More - Don't give up

Thank you

I won't give up

This is not working

I don't feel anything

but anger building up

I want to revenge

Don't

Maybe I'm not powerful enough

Time Adventurer's Consciences

Show up and beat the crap out of him!

We don't dare, without Time Adventurer's say-so

Consciences from my Heart

Come and give me the boost I need!

Come on

Beat him harder... to spur him on

Tungtuflg

Take a nap, I'll wake you up

Stay strong...

Fantastic

My resignation letter

I'm done

Hey, Director Tsui!

Enough!

Thank you, my Consciences

I swear

I'll never give up on myself again

I'll travel back in time

to save world peace

Ouch...

Cut!

How was my acting?

With your amount of blood, you must have been good

That was the most touching action sequence I've ever seen

- Real blood - So much blood

I'll give my highest recommendation to the Academy

You'll definitely get the award

Yeah!

It's all because of you

You have pushed the best out of me

You should stop the bleeding first

I can't thank you enough

Your acting complements mine so well

\, " Me'? - m . -

You'll be my co-star in "The Time Adventurer"

MY Partner!

Your partner?

Let me take a picture of you two

"RISING STAR TIEZHU"

- Let me help you - Thanks

Look how good I look on camera

Alright

Come on, I'll take you to see our boss

Who's the boss?

Thai Ice King

- Eight-face - Bao, hello

Hello...

Come, try my coconut water

It's so sweet!

Sweet, right?

Being the Thai Ice Cube King

I had to monopolise the coconut business

Now all the coconuts in Asia are mine

But something does still bothers me a little

My mom has gifted me such good looks and smarts

With me being a hard worker, I'm a near perfection of a human

Isn't that just outrageous?

Not at all, Eight-face

You're born to be exceptional

- You have two of everything - Right

You smoke double ended cigar

- You have twins as girlfriends - Right

- You prayed to an Eight-faced Buddha - Of course

My brother from another mother, Tiezhu

Eight-face

Try some coconut water

- No thanks - No?

Let him sleep with the fishes

- Calm down, Eight-face - What are you doing?

You trust people far too easily

He's an undercover

What is this?

Tiezhu

ls it true?

True? Don't go crazy with him!

Then why aren't you drinking this?

The timing is...

- ...unfortunate - How so?

I'm taking Chinese medicine

Coconut water is cool-natured

- Yeah - Exactly

He's like a brother to me

He looks like a chump

You can trust him

There are three distinctions being an undercover

One

Undercovers never drink coconut water

Then“.

He's an undercover, too

He's not drinking coconut water, that's milk

Me?

Two, wandering eyes

You can insult me

but you can't insult my tiny beautiful eyes

What're you doing?

I'm sorry

But they do wander around

You...

Then“.

Look at him

- Look at how he dresses - Me again?

He dress exactly like an undercover

The same as the movie "lnfernal Affairs"

Three

When you came in,

I saw your hand moving around your crotch

Very busy hand

I bet you were typing Morse code

Morse code? Are you kidding me?

I was just itchy

Didn't he say he was taking Chinese medicine

Itchy balls must be a side effect

As a man, you must understand

If scratching is typing Morse code

Then he must have finished a novel, right?

Come on?

Come on

Stop quibbling

Eight-face, he's really my friend

$0?

You want to protect him?

I suddenly realise he is an undercover

concentrate on dealing with him

I'll count to three

If you admit to being an undercover I'll shoot

You'll shoot, even if I admit to it?

My bad

If you don't admit to it, I'll shoot

One

Two

Three

Gotcha, right?

Just messing with you

Your acting was so incredible, it totally got me

Then give me a role in your film

Definitely

Eight-face is a super film buff

He loves acting

Even though it's just a prop, but look how real it is

That is a real gun

This is the prop

Take him away

Get him a band aid

What did he say?

There's some reaction from the girl

This chick was born bald

even she has grown hair

Our hair regrowth drug is finally a success

Yeah!

My bald patch is saved

Saved!

Can't fight bad guys with messy hair

That's drunken fist

Tiezhu

Bao

Us fans love watching you fight with drunken fist

If you re-make this

it'll be a massive hit

Re-make this

That was 20 years ago

Let me show you something

What is it?

- Not bad - That's not it...

Not these

There's more

This is the one

You see this?

The doctor said if I injured these places again

I'll be paralysed

That's when I started using doubles

I'm tired with all the fighting

I don't want to do action films anymore

What I want...

is for the audiences to see me...

in a proper acting role

I get it

I've been making films for 30 years

broken numerous box office records

but have no best actor award to show for it

Bao

Does the award really mean so much to you?

I'm not young anymore

I've earned enough money

I want to earn recognition

I see actors like Tony Leung...

Robert De Niro, Meryl Streep,

they are called Mr. and Miss

Such elites

But me?

Every time when I'm being introduced...

Let's welcome...

Yuan“.

Bao

Like a circus act

Well, I like Tony, Bob and Meryl

I admire them

but they haven't changed me

You're different

You have made a difference

l.

have asthma since I was born

I was very weak

But it was your film that told me

"Use your confidence, be a strong man"

That's when I started training

I grew up in a run down part of town

it wasn't easy

being good

But I could look up to you

Bao

You're my hero

But I'm not an elite

An ordinary hero is better

If a hero needs to be an elite

that's just pretentious

Pretentious?

Pretentious

Tiezhu

Yes?

If I tell you a secret

Can you promise not to tell another soul?

Alright, tell me

Bao

I want to laugh

Why am I so good looking but bald

but someone like you has a full set of hair

ls that fair?

I'm... I'm good

"Use your confidence, be a strong man"

"And fight for your life"

"Fight with heart and blood to find your true calling"

"Give everything to write your own heroic story"

"When facing adversity, fight like a beast"

Yeah!

Bao

Did you bring...

a spare hairpiece?

Why do you ask?

There's still a lot of people inside and your hair...

Isn't that a problem?

Yep

Here

What's the emergency?

When are you paying me back your debt?

I'll pay all of it within 3 years

You don't believe me?

- I can bet you 5 million - 5 million?

You're full of it

I told Bao

I'll lend him these Jinsha extraterrestrial artifacts for props

Thank you for your support

Support?

Support your ass

I'm using them for drug trafficking

If they are so valuable

we better not borrow them, I don't want to lose them

Don't you shoot all over the world?

What's wrong with trafficking for me?

You want me to be a drug mule?

I'm dead if Bao knows

If Bao knows...

then his luck is out

He does so many dangerous sequences

having an accident is not unusual

With Bao as our trafficking front

Our products can have easy access...

around the world, we'll be filthy rich

But I have some heavy news I need to share

We have a mole among us

What is this?

My doctor's been looking for this

Isn't this his car remote?

He left it inside my cast

Come here

- Let him sleep with the fishes - Quickly

Are you tired? Because I am, see you

From now on, we are partners

When you shoot abroad

you can be my distributor

Forget about the money you owe me

I'll even split the profits with you

Do you have any news from Eight-face?

He's a businessman

who really love movies

He can act quite well

That's about it

We're sure he's doing something illegal

As the FBI had placed an undercover by his side

Have you seen him?

No...

The last time FBI heard from him

he said some guy kept on outing him in front of Eight-face

Saying he's an undercover

Did you see the bastard who did that?

No...

Why do you look so flustered?

Not flustered...

Are you scared of telling me who did this?

No...

Aren't you that newcomer doing the movie with Bao?

What's his face?

Something to do with metal

Chief

What are they doing?

You asked to meet here

It's not like everyday I get to be an undercover in HK

Of course I want to pay a visit to the infamous rooftop from "lnfernal Affairs"

But what has happened since?

Ever since the movie, this place is a hit

It is now a tourism hotspot

Why didn't you say so?

- 200 dollars for Andy Lau's T-shirt - You didn't ask

No, thanks

Can you guys move quicker?

Be careful, don't break a thing

We're shooting soon

- Be careful... - Alan

Morning, Tai

The artifacts are here

Come

We need to transport them with the props going to the US

Alright?

Have you talked to Bao?

Do I need his permission?

It's the new rules

Everything needs his approval

Oh, and all the crew needs to wear a pass

Are you crazy?

Bao, you're working out early today?

Tiezhu said, I'll carry clothes better with bigger muscles

And the new rules on set?

Tiezhu said, the sets are a mess

we need changes

Tiezhu also said...

he wants to help you

so let him handle all the work

you've got right now

I also know what I'm going to shoot next

What is it?

I'm an astronaut

because of an accident...

I am trapped in a Mars space station for 100 years

Excellent! You'll fight aliens, right?

- No - The ones with big explosions?

No

There must be visual effects and 3D, right?

No, I'll be alone on screen the whole time

It's about inner turmoil, it'll be called

A Man on Mars

This will be difficult to attract investors

It's fine

I'm going to use everything I have

plus your bonuses and retirement fund for it

I can guarantee

this will be a massive hit

Just wait for your share of the profits

While I get my best actor award

Bao

I'm 100% confident with your acting

But I think you should warm up in "The Time Adventurer"

and let your character die during the ending

Death is the best way to show your acting skills

But Tiezhu's character is the one who dies

That's not very nice to him

I know you've taken him under your wings

but you need to think more about yourself

He's become more arrogant of late

Nah

I'm not badmouthing him

but I've read the screenplay

he wrote a better character for himself than yours

Bao, I'm really not badmouthing him

but he's a traitor

He's been getting very close to Tungtung

Chatting up my actress!

Dinner time!

- What're you having? - Chicken and BBQ pork

Bao

Let me

Don't get aHQFY

I'm not

Come on

Let's have hotpot

I'm going to eat here!

I want one with chicken thigh

I'm sorry, Bao

The last one was taken by Tiezhu

That's a big thigh!

It's quite big

Come on, take a bite

If there's nothing else, I better get back to work

Tiezhu

- Come here - Bao

Eat without me

What is it?

That's the script for today's shoot

I've made amendments

Isn't it me who dies, how come it's you?

I want to die

No, you said Time Adventurer is non-destructible

How can anyone defeat him, it doesn't make sense

I'll decide if something make sense

If I say it does, then it does

OK

You're the big shot

Who's going to stop you if you want to die

I'm not finished

As your boss

I don't want you to date or become a gossip

How's that your business?

Of course it is, I'm your boss!

You're just jealous that I've eaten your chicken thigh

I need to be jealous of you?

I can't afford my own chicken thigh?

- What do you call this then? - I can buy one for everyone on set

- You think money is everything? - When I first met you

- Do people want to eat chicken thigh? - You never used to eat chicken thigh

- Have you bothered to ask? - You only ever ate goose

and salted eggs

- No one want to eat chicken thigh - And low sugar drinks

but your order always

- Do you remember... - mess up everyone else's

- you promised me to lose weight? - I just drank it without saying a word

Do you want to steal what's mine?

A box of chicken rice...

- need a 80km run to burn off - Do you even respect me anymore?

- Can't you be more disciplined? - If I'm eating shit,

do you want to steal that too?

That's alright

Because I have always thought "A Man on Mars"

is shit anyway

Say it again

You heard me

"A Man on Mars" is shit!

Then why...

you said I'm your hero?

I want fame, my hero

What else am I supposed to say?

Wake up, who wants to be an action star!

If you don't fight, who'll want to see you!

Leave!

I don't want to see you again!

Tungtung, let's go, no...

no reason for staying in this production

but I have no reason to stay with you

Being in this production...

I've found the person I fancy

You guys...

Someone who works hard

a mature male lead

is who I want to be with

That's good taste

Did you hear her?

We don't welcome you here

Please leave

Bao

it'll be alright

I'll take care of everything

You're the best

Come on... Get to work...

- Eight-face, this way - OK

Thank you for agreeing to play the villain

It's nothing

We'll be filming a romantic scene between Bao and the female lead

You come in tall and proud,

say your line then shoot

- Bao dies, the actress cry - Kill him!

You laugh towards the heaven

- Laugh towards heaven? - Yes, here's the gun

There're blanks inside

- I've got to talk to Bao, look around - OK

Eight-face

- What are you doing with the gun? - Shoot people

Shoot people? Here...

Look at this

- Let me see - It's brand new...

Tailor-made for you

This double-barreled gun is perfect for you

I love it!

Don't mess around...

The Time Adventurer, Scene 60, Shot 5, Take 1

Action

It's taken me a lot of time travel to save you

We'll never be apart again

Hahahahahau.

Happy ending between love birds

is what I hate most

Time Adventurer, you can go to hell

But I won't let you go so easily

Why is he improvising?

What do I have to do to die?

I'll let you die now

Hahahahahau.

Are you scared?

Brother

When will you...

let me...

Isn't it just one shot?

Isn't that over the top?

Looks real to me

Cut, good take!

It's killing me

Bao

Bao

Bao

Bao

Bao's dead

Bao's really dead

Bao's dead, he's really dead

Call an ambulance, hurry!

Dead?

BEN.!

- Bao... - Bao

BEN.!

Keep rolling, keep shooting

Bao...

Eight-face

Why are you so vicious?

You've killed Bao

That's impossible

This is just a prop gun

Just because he wouldn't be your drug mule

You killed him during the shoot

I'm just a drug trafficker, not a killer

Don't accuse me

I know martial arts

Bao

Bao, come back, Bad.!

Call the police!

It's alright, we are here

That way...

Chief, we've found the drugs

Eight-face, we've finally gotten all the evidence to lock you up

- Take him away - Yes, sir

Bao

The God has shown mercy, your killer is caught

Rest in peace

Peace in your ass

Bao, you're not dead?

That's great...

We're like brothers, I couldn't believe you would want me dead

Want you dead?

Bao, you're overthinking things

I have proof

I saw the gun...

I saw the gun you gave Eight-face...

was swapped in with real bullets

So when Eight-face was remembering his lines

I swapped out the real bullets for blanks

Don't believe a word he says, he's a traitor

Him?

He's not only a traitor

Why am I so good looking but bald

but someone like you has a full set of hair, is that fair?

Bao

Why did you tell me your big secret?

We are brothers

Then I'll tell you a secret too

What?

I'm an undercover

Stop laughing

Didn't you say, you won't laugh at me again?

L'll try

To be honest

I didn't believe you will kill me

but a few days ago

you said we should change the screenplay

For the last few years,

you talk back whenever I have any requests

Why would you have read the screenplay?

It was then I knew

you were making a move

So we decided to set you up with a plan of our own

To let you think, your plan is working

letting your guards down

You were tricked by my great acting, right?

About that

Your acting...

in the Chicken Thigh "Cold War"

was slightly over the top

What give you the right to complain?

You were hell bent on playing Tony Leung

You were just shouting the lines

Shouting doesn't make you a good actor

You were just speaking lines like a computer

You didn't give me anything to play against

I think Tungtung acted the best

Now, I'm really a hostage

- Move! - Let go of her

Tai, give yourself up

Relax, I've covered all the exits,

he can't escape

Thanks God

I thought you covered all exits?

It's locked! Didn't you cover this door?

No

I thought it was a prop door

You...

- Let's split - OK

This is so unexpected

how will this story ends?

Let's go

Why are you taking me hostage?

Shut up, bitch!

- 'Uezhu - Ta“.!

Calm down, be careful with the knife

Tiezhu

Tiezhu...this way

Save hostage first, take the stairs

Let's shoot, take position

- Bao - Don't come any closer!

Tai

You've cornered yourself by coming up here

it shows that you're not a professional villain

It was just a rash decision

I'm sure the judge will understand and give you a light sentence

Stop right there!

With my hand written petition letter

plus autographed photo

it might just be a probation

And if I make an appearance in court everyday

you might even be release without any charges

You're so annoying!

Are you alright?

Watch out!

Tiezhu, are you alright?

I'm alright, I'll protect you

It's alright, I'll protect you

Tiezhu, you're having an asthma attack?

You want to be a hero?

Fine

I'll give you a chance

Alright

"The Time Adventurer" needs a fight for ending anyway

It's for real

I'm in luck...

Snake Style with Cat Claw

Will mouth to mouth help?

I'm sure it will

How am I?

Do I look better?

A little

Tai was the action choreographer for "Snake Style and Cat Claw"

He knows all the moves

Come on, hiss for me

Which floor are they at?

70, the top floor

Where are we?

35

We've got loads more to go

Chief, I've been wanting to ask

Why didn't we wait for the elevator?

Why don't you ask me when we reach the top?

Let's take the elevator

It's 35 floors either way

What do you guys think?

Let me light up first

Bao

Do you surrender?

Yes...

It's hurting me... let go...

Say it to the camera

I won't

What's the difference?

Maybe I'm not in real life

but on screen

I am a hero

Heroes will never surrender to villains

Really?

Bao

Surrender

You've betted a lot?

Last leg of a multiple bet

If 11 Wins

I'll have 100 million

Drunken Fist

Hold on

Breath, deep breath

319p...

Tiezhu, stay awake

Hold on

Number 5 is catching up,

it passes number 1

- It's pressing number 11 all the way - Come on

Can number 11 hold on till the end?

Number 5 is

fighting number 11 till the end

Number 11 is holding off number 5,

side by side

Come on

720 Spinning Drunken Fist

11...5...

Number 11 crosses the line! First place, number 11!

Number 11 wins the race!

This is the win I've been waiting for my whole life

Number 10?

Betted the wrong horse

The Time Adventurer defeated another villain

it shows evil will never win

Beating the villain again

Talking about righteousness

Such a cliché, so predictable

I want an orgasmic ending

Tai, you could have been a good person

but you chose to be a villain

BEN.!

Stop acting

Tiezhu is dying

No...

- Bao - I can't

Bao, the inhaler, hurry!

OK

loan...

Bao

I think Tiezhu is dead

The orgasm is coming

I'm in luck if he drops

Drop...

Drop...

Drop...

Yes

Catch

Tiezhu

Breath, breath it in

Breath it in

Are you feeling better?

This is great

Bao, Tiezhu is alive!

Yeah!

Bao

Be careful

Give me your hand

Reach for us

A little more

Drop...

- It's alright, give me your hand - Bao, come on

I can't

Drop...

Give me your hand!

- Come on... - Give me your hand

Your hand... reach out!

So romantic

I'm coming!

What happened to him? Do you think he's OK?

- What's wrong with him? - Oh my God, is he alright?

I'm alright!

So many hot chicks!

Today I'm going to tell you the story of a blockbuster movie

"The Time Adventurer"

The story is about the Time Adventurer played by Bao

Travel back 365 years, in search of a earth destroying virus

to save the world

Telling you the story is meaningless anyway

Because like all Bee's movie

it's about a guy who's born to be a do-gooder

for the sake of righteousness or world peace

gets into fights with bad guy A, B, C, D, E, F, G

who starts off as an underdog and come out on top

to maintain a peaceful status quo if he wins

So I'm not going to ask about this party ball of a virus

and accept that it can destroy the world

But look how beautiful the lead actress look

and there are no make out scenes?

That's unacceptable

Look at that big hole round the back

Hole but no hoe, that's just a blatant deception

As Bao tries to proof his acting skills to the audience

he added a meant to be touching scene

But the blood and tears were obviously added by CG

It's so fake

He even tried to imitate Johnnie To's films

talking about the dark side of human

Adding a brunch of conscience, you must be kidding me?

And the villain

dresses like an idiot

and looks like an idiot

the truth is, he's really an idiot

In the end, Bao has to fight

the true villain who looks like Bruce Lee

A fight so hard, his hair come off

Saving the earth

It's amazing that this story does have an ending

But what's more amazing,

is this movie has been winning awards after awards

"The Time Adventurer" has won the Best Picture, Best Director

Best Screenplay, Best Actress, Best Newcomer

Best Supporting Actor, Best Action Choreography

and the Best Actor Award

is in the hand of Bao

presenting it to the villain with only 5 minutes of screen time

Look how disappointing Bao is

Best Actor is not just an award,

it's larger than life

Sometimes, you can do nothing when life throws you a curve ball

Bao, looks like it'll be another lifetime till you win this award

I've also heard the reason why Bao told Tiezhu his bald secret

I have it on film

Every time

it's always...

Let's welcome

Yuan Bao!

Too soon

OK, cut!