Original subtitles

I don't know where to begin.

Let's see.

This is so embarrassing.

I don't know, I guess I'm pretty borring.

Please, class.

Show our new student a little courtesy.

Just tell us a little about yourself, Janey.

I hiccup when I get nervous.

So we've learned.

Jane, why don't you tell us where you're from?

Everywhere.

I mean, my dad's in the army or at least he was until he retired,

so we were always moving.

This is the eleventh school that I've been to.

Eleven different schools but the uniform is always the same.

Even on Guam.

Chicago's really going to have to do it's fair

share to impress a seasoned traveler like you.

Tell us about your hobbies, outside interests.

Let's see what do I like to do.

I, I like listening to music.

And I like doing gymnastics.

And I love to dance.

Army bases are pretty dead unless you're in the army.

So I always had a lot of time to daydream.

And my daydream was always the same:

that someday I was gonna get to Chicago,

because that's where they make Dance-TV.

Live from Chicago,

America's Number One Dance Show.

Dance-TV is on the air.

Hi, I'm Gary Woods, and welcome to Dance-TV.

We have an incredible show for you tonight,

so stay with us as we bring you one solid hour filled

with your favorite hits.

We'll have world premiere videos.

The last music news from Ricky.

And wayout dancing from our DTV regulars

who could burn down any house.

So grab your fire extinguishers.

Turn the TV up.

It's DTV time.

Would you cover for me?

Just hold your blazer open.

Like this?

- This got it? - Yeah, thanks.

Oh, my god!

Thanks.

It's Velcro.

Next to the Walkman and Tab,

it is the coolest invention in the 20th Century.

My name's Lynne Stone.

Hi.

And I'm going to change it as soon as I'm old enough.

Why are you doing this?

Do you have a date or something?

No, I wish.

I just know I must be horny.

I'm going to babysit.

You should see me when I go out.

What's the matter?

Oh, I know, you're gonna miss the beginning of Dance TV.

Yeah, well never mind.

I'm used to missing things.

Well, get over it.

I'm not going to let you miss anything.

She's got a twenty-five inch TV.

- Oh, excuse me. - Come on.

And you're sure she'll drive me home?

No problem.

I tell you, this woman loves me.

Okay, here we are.

Okay, it just ate, don't feed her anything.

- Okay. - Be back at six.

- Okay. - And write down all phone messages.

You bet.

- Okay, bye-bye. - Bye.

My little Lemsky.

A.Q. Lemsky, this is Janey.

Janey, stinky.

That's Janey.

Hi.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

Jonathan and Lisa are my favorite couple.

You know, his birthday is the same as mine, almost.

Do you remember when he kissed her on the New Year's Eve show?

Yes.

They were frenching.

Afterwards he wipes his mouth off, like this.

It was a dead giveaway.

That's our D-TV dancers.

And how would you like to become one of them?

Well, now's your chance because

we're having a contest to find a new DTV regular couple.

You wanna join us?

Well, you can.

All you have to do is come on out and audition this Friday.

We're going to narrow it down to seven couples.

And then have a grand final dance off,

right here on our Saturday show, live on DTV.

Now write this information down.

I can't believe you missed it.

Missed what?

The big DTV news, that's what.

They announced the contest today,

which my own personal sources told me about a week ago.

What kinda contest?

For a new regular couple to dance on the show.

This could be our big break.

Hey, Drew, I told you I won't dance with you.

Your palms sweat.

Very funny. I'm telling you, man,

you got the stuff it takes to win that contest and on TV.

Oh yeah, I'm a definite TV star.

Me and Captain Kangaroo.

Malene, I can't help it if I'm a conceptual thinker.

It's a curse.

But I just can't feature you starting trade school right after graduation.

Jeff Malene, machinist.

I don't see it.

Jeff Malene, regular on DTV.

Oh, it's there. In neon.

I don't need any dance contest to tell me I'm a good dancer.

Hey, squirt...

Don't call me squirt.

I'm not a little kid.

No!

I can't believe that you're older than me.

I'm older than you.

Now let's take a little break from the dancing right now

for the latest music news from my girl,

Now where is that Rikki?

Let's all hear it for steroids.

And now the news.

Did you see it last week when Rikki roder in on a dog sled?

Oh, god he double's the coolest.

Call House Records at Thatcher Arena,

as their rock 'n roughage victory tour continues

to sweept through the English countryside.

In other news,

Paul McCartney bought up the publishing right

to all Locamotive sound effects tapes.

Does this make Paul rich?

But does it make him happy?

No habla ingles.

Well, we're almost out of time but tune in tomorrow

for a sneak preview of seven more songs titled: Jump.

Well, this is Rikki saying,

no matter how hard you try,

you'll never be as good as me.

And remember win the contest

and you'll be dancing the day away on DTV

But until then, for all of you out there,

from all of us here, including Rikki the DTV regulars, andme,

Gary Woods.

You have yourself a great one.

We'll see you tomorrow when DTV comes dancing back.

That is the coolest.

We're going to be on DTV.

Listen, I'm a pretty good dancer.

But what I lack in substance, I make up for in style.

And you, This is you today.

"I love to dance."

I mean, it was perfect.

Look, I think you're forgetting that.

I have General Patton as a father.

But you belong on DTV, and of course, so do I.

We'll just audition, okay?

We'll just, we 'II go and audition.

Your dad can't find anything wrong with that.

Lemsky! What's going on here?

I'm sorry, baby, I'm in the middle of a board meeting.

Now what's this all about?

I already told you.

Why don't you listen for a change.

Yes, baby I I do listen.

I, I, I remember.

You want to be on some kind of a dance show, right?

Yes, daddy.

I'm going to star on Dance TV.

Don't you think I deserve at least that?

But, but princess, I thought we were working

on that Seventeen magazine modeling contest for you.

My shrink is right.

I'm unloved; unappreciated;

I only have one car.

That quack'll say anything to keep the money rolling in!

Aren't I giving you a big coming-out party?

Don't try to buy my affections.

I'm going to be on that show, dady

and I don't want to hear another word about it.

Now you've made me late.

Decisions are the worst.

One phone call? One phone call.

Mrs. Lemsky, my house my house.

Now answer me, did the phone ring?

Did the phone ring or didn't it?

Bye. Thanks for the ride.

- Did it? - Yeah.

- This is inexcusable. - Bye.

Don't forget to ask your dad.

Hi.

I like dogs, yeah. Benji.

Boomer! Sandy!

Oh, God!

I like a mad much.

- Hello, honey. - Hi.

Hi.

Mm, how was school?

It was typical.

But I made a new friend.

You did.

Well, that was fast.

Yes. Listen, dad, could I talk to you about something?

Hi, sweetheart.

We have met the enemy and she has B.O.

Zach.

Come on, Zach, come here.

Let's wash the backyard off your face.

Listen, I was, I was wondering about something.

What's up?

Well, see, there's this contest that I really want to enter.

A little healthy cometition, it's good for the soul.

That's the spirit.

Well, see what I do is I go downtown on Friday and I get to dance

And then if they like me then I rehearse evert night

and then if I win I'm going to be on TV, all right?

Negative.

Hey, I don't want you going all over

this town before I've done any reconnaissance.

Chicago is a tough city.

I've got to install, an alarm system in this house.

And B: you're too young to go out at night

except for the occasional supervised school activities.

When you're eighteen then you're entitled to some nightlife

Now we had a deal, remember?

We made a deal when I was seven and a half.

"Nightlife" was The Muppet Show.

Don't sass me.

I'm sorry, sir.

I'm doing this for your own good.

Yeah, you forgot to say,

You'll thank me for this one day."

And so I said, "Sister, please, anybody could have comfuded.

'Hail Mary' with 'Proud Mary', and besides,

I do a very good Tina Turner."

What did she do?

Made me wash all of your blackboards, but that's okay,

'cause I broke every piece of her chalk into tiny little pieces.

You know, you can't wear that to the audition.

I know.

Are you backing out?

Lynne, look, my father won't let me go

and mymother says that we have to let him win a few battles

so we can win the war.

Whatever that means.

That means you're going anyway.

Lynne, I can't.

They won't let me go.

Do you do everything you're told.

Oh, god, you do.

Uh look, there's your bus.

Good luck, all right?

And will you call me tonight?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

Bye.

Bye.

Oh, come on, come on, you can do it, you can do it.

Take my hand...

It's all a matter of appearances.

If you show up at the audition on a motorcycle, you're a wild kid.

But if you tool up in a Mercedes,

you're a man to be reckoned with.

Drew, when are you gonna get rid of this thing?

That's your problem, Jeff.

You don't understand that this car makes a statement.

Yeah. It says, "Hi, I'm garbaga."

I love this car. I told you.

It starts, it always starts.

Yeah, but does it stop?

This is so cool.

This is a mob scene.

You should have parked on the street.

What are you talking about?

There're a space right there.

A parking place right in front.

That's a good omen.

I knew this was going to be cool I know it. Come on.

Let's do it.

Ladie. Top of the morning to you.

Smile, will ya?

He may be dorky but his friend's kinda cute,

if your're into public school guys.

Which I am.

Come on.

Let's go, everybody, we got a T-shirt stampede.

One of a kind T-shirts.

On sale here today only.

Better get them now,

sweetheart, they're not going to last too long.

Get your Dance TV shirts.

Dance TV T-shirts.

Lowest vender exits Right.

Wait just a second.

He can't do that.

- That was my idea. - Whoa whoa.

Drew, I hate to break it to you, man but all right.

Okay.

If, I'll, I'll wait and sell them after the contest.

I'll call them collector's items, charge double.

Hey, beautiful, stop looking.

You've found me.

Great.

That's nice going, Drew.

I always wanted you for a brother in law.

She's a punk.

Do you really think I'm a punk?

Wow, that's outrageous.

I mean, it's not as cool as New Wave,

but it's a lot better than pre-teen.

So do all women throw them selves at your feet,

ot is it just the ones that can't reach any higher.

Come on, Romeo.

All right let's move along here, please, thank you.

Yes.

You don't remember me, do you?

I haven't forgotten you or that smile.

God, I'm sorry, I'm not good with names.

I must have forgotten who you...

It's Jeff Malene.

I'd given you up for dead.

It's a nice uniform.

That's all right.

There are plenty of guys who go nuts for girls in uniforms.

Name two.

Your father and Captain Kirk.

I know I'm going to die.

Hi, I'm Lynne Stone.

My lucky Carol hands her number 87.

Next.

I have a real way with author-Carol hands number 35 to Janey.

Somebody.

Thank you.

All right...

Look out!

Are you okay?

Sorry.

Lynne.

Lynne. Lynne.

Think it looks all right?

Thanks, bitch.

Nice car.

I've got exotic wheels myself.

What is it, a Schwinn ten-speed?

Yeah.

All right. Now, are we ready.

All right.

If we could have please thank you,

if we could have the first group up on stage.

If you don't have a partner, don't worry about it.

We'll pair you up.

We just want to see you dance.

All right?

So let the games begin.

I want you and, and I want you.

Yes, okay I want both of you...

Good luck.

All right, let's move it along thank you.

Could we move it along?

Thank you.

Oh, my god.

Cut them.

That's good. See that?

Whtch this.

All right, we have we have selected the following finalists.

Listen, please.

One.

Six.

Sixteen.

Twenty-three.

Thirty-five.

All right!

Seventy-two.

One oh, two.

Is that a fif, fiteen.

Fitteen.

One twenty-five and one twen-twenty seven.

One twenty-seven.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

You you showd lots of orginality.

Thank you.

Okay, now we'd like to pair up the contestants...

Way to go, Jeff.

We've chosen so far.

Be patient, I'll be right back.

All right, now,

I'd like to make a few changes.

Miss excuse me,

Miss right here.

I'd like to see you with the big fella there, please.

Yes, yes, you.

Thank you.

My you are bih.

Yes, well that's lovely.

All right, thank you very much.

If you would please.

Yeah, no, no, no, wat, no, no.

This, this is not right.

You two back together again, please.

Uh, yes, yes, switch, please.

There we are.

There we are. Very good.

There, that's fine.

Yes, that's good.

Well, I like this. Yes.

Sort of "Revel Without a Caouse"

meets "Sound of Music."

You're taking a fashion risk.

I like that.

Just don't do it on camera.

All right, remember to pick up the list of rehearsal times.

What are you doing,

I no, I want to take just one of those.

You looked great.

Lynne, this is a drag. I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Did you catch my dance partner?

That wasn't dancing, that was assault and battery.

There he is with that cheese bum.

Lynne, she set this up.

- We're going to tell Ira, okay? - No, wait, forget it.

You know what's better than getting mad?

Getting even.

Did you get her number?

Yeah, Zero.

Hey, what's the Flying Nun's phone number.

It's unlisted.

555-4102.

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.

I didn't mean to.

You looked great today.

You sure fooled Drew.

Anybody could fool him.

You know, last year I caught him undressing my Barbie doll.

Am I ever going to grow up?

Maggie, you're twelve.

Next October you'll be thirteen and then you'll be fourteen

and that's the way it goes.

I don't mean age.

I mean women stuff.

Don't make fun.

Mom never got to that part.

Well, I don't know who's going to explainn it to you now?

I mean, Dad's no good.

All he told me was "Don't be embarrassed, son,

and just don't read Playboy before you go to bed.

Hi.

Hi, Pop.

I take it supper's ready?

Hi, Meg.

So how's work, Pop?

Positively stimulating, as usual.

I take it that's for me?

Absolutely.

Thanks.

You're not too tired, are you, dad?

Again?

You broke it again?

I didn't break it.

It just sorta fell off.

Mags, I don't understand how that doorknob keeps coming off.

I mean, that's the fourth time this month, you know.

Thank you Lord for this food.

She dance with it.

What?

So when I finally get asked to dance, I'll know what to do.

My sister dances with doors.

She's the original slam dancer.

He should talk, daddy.

He's going to dance on T.V.

Maggie!

Care to clue me in?

I auditioned for a dance contest.

And he made the finals.

And then they choose the winners on DTV.

Well, what's the priZe?

He's going to be a regular on Dance TV.

What's this got to do with trade school?

Look you don't want college, well that's okay with me but

I, I was in a hurry to get going when I was your age, too.

But you gotta have the skill, Jeff.

You gotta start earning a living sooner or later.

Look, trade school was good enough for my father

and it was good enough for me.

It's not funny.

Don't throw a mental, Dad.

I liked it better when you kids used to humor me.

Hold my calls.

Affirmative.

The credit card does work on the bathroom lock.

Zachary, you're a pervert.

Will you get out of here.

Telephone. It's a boy.

Want Dad to take a massage?

I still can't write, you know.

Hi.

God, I can't believe you remembered my phone number.

You still have homework to do,

- young lady. - Hold on a second.

- Yeah, - Who is it?

It's, it's my friend, Lynne.

Lynne? Oh, great.

Well, make it short.

I'll just I'll be a secound.

Hi, I'm back.

Look, meet me at rehearsal hall at nine o'clock.

I'll bring the music.

Hey, watch out!

Bye.

I don't know if I can...

Sorry, I needed the phone.

What for? Are the Cabbage Patch mothers having a PTA meeting?

You're cranky.

Whenever Emily Holland's brother is cranky it means a girl dumped him.

You wanna get dumped.

- I'll dump you. - No! Dad!

Enger.

Just checking. How about a little status report.

Algebra.

Almost done.

English?

One chapter left.

Biology?

Finished.

History?

No homework.

Say, you up to the French Indian war yet?

Boy, what a little light artillery could've done there.

Well, I knew you'd have it under control.

Lights out at ten sharp.

Good night, honey.

All one?

You ever want to practice you moves, give me a call.

First it was in my bedroom,

then it was 7-11 by your house.

Then it was in George's English class.

Only in this dream sometimes she wants to listen to George.

She was that J.B.

cheerleader who had the almost see through underpants.

Drew, can you be quiet for two seconds.

Yeah, sure.

You probably mean more than two secounds,

I mean, two seconds is like nothing.

One, two, there, that's two seconds.

I hate it when you're in a bad mood.

I'm not in a bad mood.

Sweetheart, when are you going to buy yourself a nice

sexy Catholic school uniform?

Hey, get off my case, all right?

Come on, Patty, we're not wanted.

Not so fast.

Patty and I have a little business to attend to.

The term papers are in.

Eisen hower, Johnson, Kennedy.

Kennedy. Oh, he was so cute.

How much?

A date with me.

I'll take Johnson.

Hey, I heard those Catholic school girls really put out.

Hey, hey, Jeff's very touchy this morning.

He just've had a rough night breaking in his new dance partner.

Yeah, that's what you think.

He didn't even see her.

She stood him up.

There is a time and a place for calypso music, young lady.

Open your ymnals to page 57.

We will now sing "amazing Grace."

What page?

Lynne Stone will join us.

Ans sing it like an American.

I waited out there for an hour and a half.

I tried to tell you that I couldn't go, but you hung up too fast.

Are you going to do homework now?

That's terrific.

For your information I've just made some notes about some steps

in case there's some thing you can't do.

I can do any step that you can do.

Really?

Because I was thinking we'd start out with something like this.

A little babyish, don't you think?

Babyish?

Look, I've been taking gymnastice and dance for ten years.

What did you have in mind?

Well, I thought we could start out with something like this.

Yeah.

I saw that on three different videos and a Levi's commercial.

Come here.

Go like this.

Five, six, seven, eight.

It's good.

Okay, come back to me not.

I'm just gong to spin your out

and I want you to come back to me, all right?

Out and back.

Ooops. Back.

Come back to me.

Are you always going to wear that uniform?

Look, I've got news for you.

I had to sneak out of choir practice to get here, all right?

It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun.

Excuse me.

Do either one of you have change for a twenty?

Gosh, I don't have anything smaller than fifty.

Sorry.

My lose. Have fun.

Look, we're wasting time, all right.

Let's get back to work.

Okay.

This is Mr. Glenn.

Yes.

This is Sister Natalie.

Do you know where Janey is?

No, I thought she was in school.

No no, she's not here.

Please tell her if she can't make it regularly to choir,

I'll have to replace her.

Well, I'll talk to her this evening, Sister.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Thank you.

Just keep going around.

Will you stop showing off.

We're supposed to be partners, or did you forget?

I wish I could forget.

Oh, really?

Because, you know, if you want to quit this, it's okay with me.

What's the matter with him?

I hate him.

He's a guy and he's alive.

What's there to hate?

He's just, you know?

I mean, oh...

Well, good. I like those qualities in a man.

You know, I've been locked up in a room with him

for over an hour and let me tell you, it was hiddous.

Is he going to call you tomorrow?

Yeah, I think so.

I'm holding this for ransom.

Did you and Shirley Temple have a bad rehearsal?

Yeah, it wasn't one of the best five afternoons of my life.

I'm not really in the mood to shoot the breeze with you, do you mind?

Fine.

I don't want to hold you up.

But I do want to invite you to the biggest

and best debutant ball of the year.

Mine.

Now you don't have to come.

But I'll save you a slow dance just in case.

Does he have any redeeming qualities?

All he does is talk about himself and that stupid motor cycle.

I bet he's a good kisser.

Oh, that is so gross.

I mean, I cannot even imagine kissing him.

Whenever I'm in a room with a guy

no matter who it is a date, my dentist, anybody I think,

who are the last two people on earth

that I'd puke if he kissed me.

Zach to Janey.

Zach to Janey.

Yeah, what's going on?

Sister Natalie called.

You're in deep trouble.

Leave two dollars in small change in front of my door.

Sister Natalie?

Natalie?

Now he knows that I skipped choir practice.

All right, Lynne, what do we do now?

Leave it to me.

Come on, come on.

- Janey! - Okay, kiddo, you're home,

you're sefe, you're alive.

My God, want happend?

She overdid it.

It was gymnastic's tryouts.

She hyperventi lated on the uneven parallel bars.

She almost spun to death.

I had to rip her fingers off.

Okay. Bye.

Call me later if you're not too busy.

Oh, my god.

Hi.

Hi. How you doing?

That could be you next week.

Yeah, but at least she has a really good dance partner,

you know what I mean?

- Shut up. Come on. - Bye.

He's so beautiful.

He looked at you.

When?

Twice.

You embarrassed me.

He looked at me. He looked at me.

Do you dress left or Right.

Well, my closet's on the left side of my bed so I guess I dress left

except if I have to wear something out of the hamper,

because that's on the right side of sink.

Left.

Am I interrupting anything.

What are you doing here?

Well, it's a free mall, isn't it?

Excuse me, excuse me.

Hey, there's Jeff's partner and that cool girl.

Where?

Don't lower your arms.

Janey!

Lynne!

Come here you guys, come here.

Hey Janey girls, look.

By day he's high school student, by night he's a penguin.

I happen to be personally in vited by Miss Natalie Sands

to a party at the country club tonight.

You wish.

She didn't invite him.

She invited Jeff.

He's just tagging along.

Sorry. You always hurt the one you love.

Natalie.

Be right back.

You move, you bleed.

Hi. We need fifty of these right away.

Lynne.

There's a few people Natalie forgot to invite.

Make it a hundred and fifty.

Remember, nobody gets in without on of these. Understand?

Hey, I think your car's being towed.

Some lady was leaning over to get dome shrimp

and I looked down her dress.

This is a great party.

Hey, there's J.P. Sands.

I gotta thank him.

I am absolutely...

Mr. Sands, Drew Borman of Borman Interproses.

A pleasure to make your acquaiintance.

Well, how do you do.

Fine. This is a beautiful party.

It must have cost a bundle.

Well, I'll probably recover.

I know you will.

Natalie is worth every penny of it.

Yes, yes, wonderful girl.

She's terrific.

Well, Mr. Borman, it's certainly nice to see you.

It was a pleasure to meet you, sir.

Thank you.

So how about them Cubs?

I think it's their year.

I love it.

Thank you.

Who was that creep?

What the hell's going...

Let's go!

Can I have this, please?

Please give it to me.

I want you to find out who those creepe are.

I want to find out who's esponsible for them being here.

I want to know what happened to our security.

Look out!

Get out of here!

This means war.

I gotta go.

Oh, No! My god!

One more of those,

Miss Stone and you're staying after school.

He can't see me like this, all right?

What, you mean as opposed

to the glamorus Holy Grace uniforms?

All right, look, go talk to him.

I'll take care of Sister Sledge.

Sister, would you mind showing

me that routhine you do on pommel horse?

You do it so well and I'm just so bad at it.

I suppose I could.

Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

That was quite a party Saturday?

Yeah, well, you khow, if you like that kind of think.

So I tried to call you resterday.

To see if you wanted to rehearse, I mean.

Well my dad made us all go to the air show.

Well, was it fun?

Two hundred people standing around like this.

It was a blast.

So can you rehearse tonight?

Can you?

Sure. What, so I'll meet you there?

No, not there.

At the Court.

But I thought that we were going to rehearse?

We'll rehearse.

No fraternizing!

Stay away from him, he's a boy!

Bye.

Bye.

Do you mean you can't fix the contest or you won't?

Princess, you're gonna have to start learning to fend for yourself.

I keep telling you that.

It's a cold world out there.

Daddy, I don't want to win the contest for me.

I wanna win it for you.

I couldn't stand it if those tacky kids, Janey and Jeff won.

After they trashed your party,

and embarrassed you in front of all your friends.

And on top of everything else,

they ruined your beautiful silver hair.

Are you sure you're feeling all right?

Yeah, I'm fine mom.

I'm just I'm tired, that's all.

Sleep tight.

Goodnight, Mom.

Hi, Jeff.

Hi, Sally.

I'm really sorry to interrupt you guys

I lost the keys to my car again,

and I was thinking that since you helped me before that maybe

you'd help my again.

I'll just be two seconds. Okay?

Two seconds.

All right.

Phil, your car's being towed.

Hi, Tiffany.

Hi, Drew.

Tiffany, I was wondering, you see,

there's this great game called "Tune in Tokyo"

and I know you'd be great at it.

You wanna play?

Sure I love games.

I wanna dance with you.

God, I'm really, I'm really tired.

Okay.

Well, I have a date.

I do, I have a big date.

Yeah, with me.

All right, but you gotta go like this.

- Beep Beep Beep. - Beep Beep.

All right, now picture this.

It's World War Two and our ship is going down

in the middle of the Pacific.

And our only hope is the shortwave radio.

Tune in Tokyo.

Tune in...

Will you please let me go.

Look, pal.

She's with me, okay?

No, man, you're wrong.

She's with me.

Now beat it.

Okay. I don't want any trouble.

I got an idea.

Let's flip for her, okay?

All right.

This is great, What, are you going to flip for me?

Heads or tails"

Heads.

Come on, let's go, come on!

So what did you say, you'd flip for them?

No, they flipped for me.

Flippe for me.

Bus running. Get on.

I don't know, is the bike safe?

It's the safest thing you'll ever have between your legs.

What?

Nothing.

Hold on.

Hold on.

I got a cheek ache from smiling.

I had such a good time.

I'm glad.

And...

And what?

Well, now you're supposed to tell me how much fun you had.

A lot.

God, I'd better go home.

Wait a minute, come on.

No, I'm, I really.

I can't believe that in two weeks

I'm going to be dancing on DTV.

I bet I get hit by a car.

What?

No, things are going too well.

I mean, besides DTV I have a best friend.

And I mean, I never dreamed in a million years

that I would have a boyfriend.

Who's this boyfriend?

No no, I mea,

I didn't, I didn't mean I had...

Oh, god.

Look, if you talk to your boyfriend,

you're just going to have to tell him tough luck.

Cause you're going to be with me every night this week.

So we're in this thing together, huh?

We sure are.

Bye.

I mean, bye.

Bye.

Sister.

- Can't sleep. - Oh, God!

Daddy, really, don't, don't do that.

Go on, sit down.

By the way, why aren't you in your p.j.'s?

It's after midnight.

Oh, I was dreaming that I was going to be late for school,

so I woke up and got dressed,

and then I looked at the clock.

Yeah, but you wear a uniform in school.

That's not a uniform.

In my dream I went to public school.

Well, Janey, you know your mother and I have been talking

and we thought this weekend we'd send you to St.

Louis on a plane to see your grandmother.

No!

Oh, I think it's just what the doctor ordered.

But not this weekend.

Why not?

There's a C-130 transport leaving on Saturday at 08.00.

Don't you want to see your grandmother?

Well, yeah.

I mean, I sure do.

Uh, but you see, I, I have to study this weekend.

You see there's there's this really big Latin teat on Monday

and I'm, I'm way, way behind.

Since when do you take Latin?

Since last week. Which is why I'm way behind.

But thank anyway, Dad.

I have to go back to bed again.

Goodnight.

What, are you craZy?

I hope you aren't hurt.

I'm J.P. Sands.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I did't know whether you'd recohniZe me

wihtout the blue berry pie in my hair.

Are you in a big hurry?

Yeah, kind of.

When I was about your age I worked in a bottling factory.

I own the factory now.

Matter of face own a lot of factories

including the one where you father works.

I'm very happy for you.

Don't smart mouth me.

You know, I bet you and I are a lot more like than you think.

I'll bet you don't want your father to lose his job anymore than

I want my daughter to lose that dance contest.

By the way, if you'd like to come

to my country club again, let me know.

I can always use a good caddy.

Hi.

Hey, what's wrong?

Nothing's wrong.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

I just, you know I thought since you were late.

Excuse me, I didn't realize we were punching a clock, okay?

Well, we are.

- Come on, today is our last day. - Not now, please.

All right, it's no problem.

Uh, let's get to work.

Do you have the tape?

No, I forgot it.

Come on, Jeff, that's not funny.

Look, I'm telling ya, I forgot the tape.

I think about things besides this stupid contest, you know.

All right, so who needs music anyway.

Uh, let's go through the routine.

Do you wanna warm up first?

Look, would you quit treating me like you're the star dancer

and I'm some poor little clod you got stuck with.

Now every one needs to warm up.

Yes, they do.

Oh, excuse me, I forgot you're also the authority on warming up.

Look, I don't know that's bugging you,

but I think we should talk about it.

I said, no.

I'm not dancing with you until you calm down.

What, are you threatening me now?

I mean, that's what you're doing, right well forget it.

I'm sick of this whole thing anyway.

God, you were so naive, Janey.

You think we're going to win this thing.

We're not going to win.

We're only going to be in this stupid contest to make it look fair.

But it's rigged.

Everything's rigged.

So what?

You're just going to quit?

I mean, just like that?

Yeah, it looks that way, doesn't it?

Get out of here, you make me sick.

Thanks.

I'll try and return the compliment some day.

Lady, you're in big trouble.

Robert!

Robert!

Now Janey, we have to know

why you lied about your Latin class,

and then you, you skipped you choir practice and now you,

you snuck out of the house without our permission.

Why?

I don't know.

Oh, I feel much better now that you've explanined.

You can't go traipsing all over a strange city

in the middle of the night.

I'm sorry if you don't understand that.

Why does everybody think that

I'm not going to understand anything?

You are grounded.

Yeah, well I don't have anyplace to go anyway.

I wonder how the Bears are going to play this year.

Jesus. Their disabled list is as long as my arm.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Say, that dance contest is tonight, isn't

Oh, don't be nervous.

I'm not nervous.

I'm not entering.

Well, why not?

Well, Mag said that you and your partner were

in a dimension beyond reality.

I guess that means you're good, huh?

Look, I'm not in the contest, all right?

They're for people who are into being 'number one?

Oh, and you're not into being number one?

No.

Jeff, I hear you're coming up in the world.

Making the country club scene.

How'd you hear about that?

Bad news travels fast.

Especially when it happens to J.P. Sands.

I hate him.

Don't say that.

Now he's he's a greedy, stupid putZ, granted,

but don't hate him.

I ran into him last night.

Oh?

What did he say?

He said he could put your job on the line.

Is that true?

Well, so what?

So I can't dance in the contest can I?

Look Jeff, tell me one thing.

Can you win?

Yeah, yeah, I can win.

Well, then win it.

I'll worry about Sands.

Okay?

Thanks, Pop.

Timber!

Beat it, Zach.

Okay.

But we didn't even get to ask you about Maggie.

Maggie Malene?

She told me to tell you, Jeff's gonna dance.

Oh, God, I forgot. I'm groundes!

Zach, what am I going to do?

You know what Daddy would say?

When all hope is lost call for rein forcements.

Zach, you're the best.

Forget it. On the house.

Sweatbands, bandanas, buttons, caps

get your official DTV memor abilia right...

Do you have a license to sell these here?

A license, sure thing, officer. Sure.

Driver's license.

Student ID.

You know what's.

Oh, here it is.

It says here you're a member

of the Arechie and Jughead Fan Club.

Hey, I'm only in it for Veronica'a sake.

Hey, man, cut it out.

You can't do that.

Like my hair?

I thought you were never going to get here. I love it.

Are you ready?

Am I ready.

Becareful, all right?

Watch out.

Oh, eat flame, boZo.

Let's go.

What are we doing?

Releases.

What are these?

Oh, these are the releases, right.

Coffee?

No thank you, no coffee.

Roger, take that.

Jeffrey, I want you and your partner

to sign these releases, please.

She's not here yet.

What?

She's here but she's just,

She's meditating.

Meditating?

Yeah, she says it's like going to another place.

Wonderful.

Well, when her pass,

port expires would you please have her sign one of those.

Right.

Thank you.

Does this look all right?

Just a second.

- Hold your mouth still. - Oh, sorry.

That's a very good color for you.

What's going on?

I mean, why are we stopping?

- I don't know... - No, I gotta get there.

- We gotta get there, Lynne. - I know. So hold still.

Really?

Let me tell you something.

You can be replaced.

I lifted the Music News,

to the level of ar tand you are treating me like cattle.

Okay, moo!

Okay? Moo!

Now you get into wardrobe.

I quit!

Oh, great, great.

Great.

Not great, not great.

What's the prob?

My prob, she's not here yet.

- She's not here yet. - Okay, calm down.

I got to get this release signed.

Ira juat handed me this thing.

Sign it.

What are you doing?

You can't do that.

Don't worry about it.

Don't! Is that legal?

Am I going to get sued for this?

- I don't know. - Here!

What is this?

Let's go, let's go. Becareful.

Get the fuck off!

Hey, come back here!

Hey, hey, what's going.

Come on, come on!

Wait a minute! Wait, wait, wait, wait.

It's Rikki.

Lynne!

Lynne! Come on!

Ten...

nine...

- Lynne! - I'll meet you up there.

Seven...

five...

Janey!

Three...

one!

I want to win if you do.

Let's go.

Live, from Chicago, it's DTV time.

And tonight we've got a special show for you.

I wonder what time the M.A.S.H. reruns come on?

After weeks ot open auditions

our staff has selected these finalists.

Here they are, the six hottest dancing couples

in America, competing for the chance...

Oh, Glenn, leave it on a sec.

This kind of show reminds me of when we used to dance.

Hey, there's Janey on TV.

So stay with us because the cameras are fired up,

the Judges are waiting in the wings,

and all we need is you folks at home watching, Dance TV.

Did you know anything about this?

No.

Stay here, I'm going down there.

Oh, honey, don't.

Our first couple met at a...

Our first couple met at a dance contest in Parkridge, Illinois.

Please welcome Rick Campbells and Louise Harman.

Our next couple call themselves Mirror Image.

And I think you can see why.

Please welcome the Dixon Sisters from Kansas City.

Are next contestants are no strangers to dancing on TV.

They dance on a local show in Miami, Florida.

It's Jim WolKa and Mimi Doyle.

Couple number five comes from

From Lake Forest, illinois, Natalie

Sands and Ben Wolper.

And Natalie tells us she's wearing

a one of a kind Michele San Germaine. Original.

They're the ones to watch.

You, you wanna give me a closeup or what?

Our final contestants are from right here in the Chicago area.

Janey Glenn and Jeff Malene.

She looks great.

She sure does.

Hey, Bob, who is that?

Hey, Ed, how you doin' huh?

Hey, watch...

watch this move, huh?

Hey, we're watching my kid on TV, huh.

Look at him fly.

Here comes the big winner.

The new regulars on DTV.

Incredible.

I can't believe this.

Natalie Sands and Ben Wolper.

All right!

And, Janey Glenn ane Jeff Malene.

We have a tie.

That means we have to have a dance,

off to find the new DTV regulars.

And we'll have that dance off right after we do this, so stay tuned.

Where's Dance TV.

Get off my tail, Butthead!

Down the hall.

You, you got them it focus?

Hey, hold it there, buddy.

I'm not your buddy.

You see that young woman out there?

Yeah.

She's my daughter.

Janey's your daughter?

Well, all right.

She's the greatest.

And, and just look at her dance out there.

She's awesome, man. Sir.

Look at her.

Come on, Janey!

She's pretty good, huh?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

The judges are unanimous.

The winners are, Janey and Jeff.

Janey and Jeff are the new Dance TV regulars.

Janey!

Janey!

Wait to go.

And with new DTV regulars, Miss DTV

will have something to say about that.

Where is that Rikki?

Where's Rikki?

Rikki, this is not funny.

This is live TV.

A new Miss Dance TV.

You almost dropped me in tht lift.

You distracted me during my solo.

- Daddy. - Why don't you shut up?

We did it, we did it.