Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,231
The royal physicians
have the king's permission
2
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:51,526
to see the Prince on his birthday!
3
00:02:07,203 --> 00:02:09,011
Prince.
4
00:02:09,371 --> 00:02:11,039
Princey!
5
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:11,907
Prince.
6
00:02:11,908 --> 00:02:13,817
You schmuck, up, up, up.
7
00:02:13,818 --> 00:02:17,086
Happy birthday, sire.
8
00:02:17,087 --> 00:02:19,088
♪ Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you ♪
9
00:02:19,089 --> 00:02:20,632
♪ Happy birthday dear Princey ♪
10
00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:23,759
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
11
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,889
Happy birthday, sire.
12
00:02:27,556 --> 00:02:29,474
Where's my doggy?
13
00:02:29,475 --> 00:02:31,768
Where's my teddy bear?
14
00:02:31,769 --> 00:02:35,146
But Your Highness, today you are 21.
15
00:02:35,147 --> 00:02:38,441
It is time to put away your childish toys.
16
00:02:38,442 --> 00:02:40,860
Today you must become a man.
17
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,321
You want to be a schmuck all your life?
18
00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:46,449
You realize the great world
that you must conquer?
19
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:50,328
Walking forward, unlike Cyrano,
whose Bergerac was below
20
00:02:50,329 --> 00:02:53,540
the empathy of his Babaskis?
21
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:56,334
Sticking it in places
where it didn't belong.
22
00:02:56,335 --> 00:02:58,211
Oh, oh, okay.
23
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,879
Okay, you're the doctors.
24
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,882
What do I have to do?
25
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:06,454
Glad you asked that question.
26
00:03:07,846 --> 00:03:11,266
♪ If all your lovers like
your clothes are mix and match ♪
27
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:13,560
♪ And it fast becoming clearer ♪
28
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,562
♪ That you better start from scratch ♪
29
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,980
♪ We're in the business ♪
30
00:03:16,981 --> 00:03:19,023
♪ Of making things much
brighter than they seem ♪
31
00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:20,942
♪ We're in your corner, up your alley ♪
32
00:03:20,943 --> 00:03:22,777
♪ By your side, and on your team ♪
33
00:03:22,778 --> 00:03:26,739
♪ It doesn't matter that
you're young and quite naive ♪
34
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,491
♪ We have a present that most princes ♪
35
00:03:28,492 --> 00:03:30,285
♪ Would be happy to receive ♪
36
00:03:30,286 --> 00:03:33,162
♪ And dear young highness, we'll help you ♪
37
00:03:33,163 --> 00:03:34,539
♪ If you give us half a chance ♪
38
00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:36,249
♪ We're at your service, up and coming ♪
39
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,876
♪ On the job and in our pants ♪
40
00:03:37,877 --> 00:03:41,379
♪ Experts appointed by your father ♪
41
00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:46,544
♪ Sexperts, we hardly
even bother with details ♪
42
00:03:48,971 --> 00:03:51,264
The whole thing is a
product of inspection,
43
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:54,309
allowing those people to get
in there and then get out
44
00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:56,519
and then getting in and getting out.
45
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,229
This in and out is alright.
46
00:03:58,230 --> 00:04:00,440
This up and down shit's for the birds.
47
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,566
Shall I say,
48
00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:03,568
"Goodnight, sweet Prince.
49
00:04:03,569 --> 00:04:05,862
"Parting is such sorrow?"
50
00:04:05,863 --> 00:04:07,530
Parting is what you want.
51
00:04:07,531 --> 00:04:09,741
Let them get it open then get in there.
52
00:04:09,742 --> 00:04:12,744
Even the amoeba, when he feels lonely,
53
00:04:12,745 --> 00:04:15,747
he goes in the corner,
rub a dub dub and there's two of him.
54
00:04:15,748 --> 00:04:19,125
♪ We're Dr. Mustache,
Dr. Ears, and Dr. Eyes ♪
55
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,419
♪ We were in prison for malpractice ♪
56
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:23,421
♪ When there came a big surprise ♪
57
00:04:23,422 --> 00:04:26,966
♪ The King released us to
educate his son and ever since ♪
58
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,843
♪ We're been the wise men of the kingdom ♪
59
00:04:28,844 --> 00:04:30,720
♪ But we can't wise up the Prince ♪
60
00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:34,349
♪ It is imperative our
mission doesn't fail ♪
61
00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:38,269
♪ Because His Majesty informs
us the alternative is jail ♪
62
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:40,396
♪ But we have not met with success ♪
63
00:04:40,397 --> 00:04:42,398
♪ Although we tried most everything ♪
64
00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:46,027
♪ We have our hearts on
the fire and our asses in a sling ♪
65
00:04:46,028 --> 00:04:49,656
♪ Sexperts with medical tradition ♪
66
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:54,787
♪ Experts on every weird
position you can name ♪
67
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:59,666
They only make semen
white and urine yellow
68
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:03,086
so that you know whether
you're coming or going.
69
00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:06,256
You have to sire an heir
and you cannot do that
70
00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:09,305
by just fucking a pillow.
71
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:14,639
I remember when I was 21,
my hand was in a bandaid.
72
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,890
I was crippled.
73
00:05:15,891 --> 00:05:17,850
There was nobody around for me
74
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:20,353
to enjoy the pleasures that are erotic.
75
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,896
Get off your ass, you dumb son of a bitch
76
00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:23,940
and get out and fuck!
77
00:05:23,941 --> 00:05:27,360
♪ Well, it's the time of do
or don't, the die is cast ♪
78
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,445
♪ Will our pubescent pampered prince ♪
79
00:05:29,446 --> 00:05:31,114
♪ Become a royal rogue at last ♪
80
00:05:31,115 --> 00:05:32,532
♪ Excuse me, colleagues ♪
81
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,826
♪ But there's nothing more
the three of us can do ♪
82
00:05:34,827 --> 00:05:36,828
♪ We've laid the groundwork,
done the legwork ♪
83
00:05:36,829 --> 00:05:38,830
♪ Have no fear, we're right behind you ♪
84
00:05:38,831 --> 00:05:40,456
♪ But we're anxious to remind you ♪
85
00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:45,178
♪ That the rest is up to you ♪
86
00:05:52,595 --> 00:05:55,263
Happy birthday, dear noble Prince.
87
00:05:55,264 --> 00:05:57,675
Today you are 21!
88
00:05:57,766 --> 00:06:02,737
21 minus none allows you
to inherit the kingdom.
89
00:06:02,813 --> 00:06:07,150
A proviso, you must be
able to produce an heir.
90
00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:09,152
If you don't produce an heir...
91
00:06:09,153 --> 00:06:11,821
We're all out of work!
92
00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:14,908
And even for a prince,
opportunities are limited!
93
00:06:14,909 --> 00:06:17,035
You got any royal aspirin?
94
00:06:17,036 --> 00:06:18,912
No, we've got something better.
95
00:06:18,913 --> 00:06:21,395
Much better!
96
00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:27,086
A birthday present!
97
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:59,100
Hi, I'm your birthday present.
98
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,417
Wait, wait a minute here.
99
00:07:06,418 --> 00:07:09,670
What, I don't understand what you want.
100
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:20,014
Um, actually my birthday
isn't really for six hours.
101
00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:22,141
I was born after 10:00 and,
102
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:26,783
that's very nice.
103
00:07:26,981 --> 00:07:29,790
You do that very well.
104
00:08:14,486 --> 00:08:17,215
Well, you're no fun.
105
00:08:31,337 --> 00:08:32,962
It's no use.
106
00:08:32,963 --> 00:08:36,614
I'm just not interested, except,
107
00:08:42,306 --> 00:08:45,141
you know, it's a funny thing.
108
00:08:45,142 --> 00:08:48,713
Well, every time I look at her,
109
00:08:51,481 --> 00:08:55,611
I get so horny.
110
00:09:00,366 --> 00:09:02,659
I'm sure it would work with her!
111
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,369
That was the Princess Beauty
112
00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:06,204
who disappeared many years ago.
113
00:09:06,205 --> 00:09:09,415
It's unlikely that she'll
ever been seen again.
114
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,376
It's hopeless, it's hopeless.
115
00:09:11,377 --> 00:09:15,088
We must look at the magic manual!
116
00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:17,757
Yes, the magic manual.
117
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,760
When you look at the astrological zodiacs,
118
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,096
just as I myself, who am a Leon
119
00:09:23,097 --> 00:09:27,988
with a Scorpio rising
and my moon is in Scorpio
120
00:09:28,185 --> 00:09:33,147
and my Venus is five inches
below my bellybutton.
121
00:09:33,148 --> 00:09:35,900
Well, it's better there than in Uranus.
122
00:09:35,901 --> 00:09:37,986
Get the book, get the book.
123
00:09:37,987 --> 00:09:39,487
- Get the book!
- Come over here
124
00:09:39,488 --> 00:09:40,738
and sympathize.
125
00:09:40,739 --> 00:09:43,709
Oh, here.
126
00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:56,712
The Prince must go to
the Land of the Fairies!
127
00:09:57,131 --> 00:09:59,883
It is there he will find the cure!
128
00:09:59,884 --> 00:10:02,552
How will I know when I'm
entering the Land of the Fairies?
129
00:10:02,553 --> 00:10:05,680
You don't have to know, they'll know
130
00:10:05,681 --> 00:10:09,642
and once you have found
yourselves in the mortal swim
131
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:12,770
of the spermatoza, get my Albert...
132
00:10:12,771 --> 00:10:14,522
It will say,
133
00:10:14,523 --> 00:10:16,524
"Land of the Fairies."
134
00:10:16,525 --> 00:10:18,151
What do you think?
135
00:10:18,152 --> 00:10:22,030
I'll get a horse and some
guards to accompany you.
136
00:10:22,031 --> 00:10:23,839
No!
137
00:10:24,408 --> 00:10:27,745
I go alone and on foot.
138
00:10:28,746 --> 00:10:30,455
How much time do I have?
139
00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:33,917
If you don't get back by
Thursday, you're not a prince.
140
00:10:33,918 --> 00:10:37,808
Yeah and you'll lose the kingdom.
141
00:10:37,963 --> 00:10:40,854
Thursday?
142
00:11:59,503 --> 00:12:01,825
Hi.
143
00:12:10,639 --> 00:12:12,765
Who are you?
144
00:12:15,185 --> 00:12:18,229
♪ Well, it's not as I planned ♪
145
00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:23,318
♪ But throughout Fairy Land
I'm known as Little Bo Peep ♪
146
00:12:23,319 --> 00:12:26,654
♪ And a alack and alas, I am up to my ass ♪
147
00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:29,616
♪ In smelly old sheep ♪
148
00:12:29,617 --> 00:12:33,036
♪ And when first I found
out what my job was about ♪
149
00:12:33,037 --> 00:12:36,206
♪ And what I really am ♪
150
00:12:36,207 --> 00:12:39,459
♪ I just didn't suspect
how much dough I'd collect ♪
151
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:43,254
♪ From the guy on the lamb ♪
152
00:12:43,255 --> 00:12:46,382
♪ What a terrible curse and
I'll tell you what's worse ♪
153
00:12:46,383 --> 00:12:49,761
♪ I feel sickly and pale ♪
154
00:12:49,762 --> 00:12:52,972
♪ Here you've been such a
dear with my bending your ear ♪
155
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,226
♪ Wait, there's more to my tale ♪
156
00:12:56,227 --> 00:12:59,646
♪ I am not known for my shyness ♪
157
00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:02,982
♪ I just can't unplug my sinus ♪
158
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:08,113
♪ 'Cause Little Bo Peep's
allergic to all her sheep ♪
159
00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:40,019
♪ And it gives me the blues
when the rams and the ewes ♪
160
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:43,064
♪ All flock to this spot ♪
161
00:13:43,065 --> 00:13:46,609
♪ It is such a disgrace
when the meadow's the place ♪
162
00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:49,821
♪ They should be ever not ♪
163
00:13:49,822 --> 00:13:53,408
♪ Every bad man I date's a glad chunk ♪
164
00:13:53,409 --> 00:13:56,786
♪ But all he wants is my junk ♪
165
00:13:56,787 --> 00:14:00,206
♪ So Little Bo Peep is anxious to boop ♪
166
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:03,293
♪ No, Little Bo Peep is trying to dupe ♪
167
00:14:03,294 --> 00:14:06,754
♪ No, Little Bee-bop is beep beep she bop ♪
168
00:14:06,755 --> 00:14:10,042
♪ Oh, sheep ♪
169
00:14:12,386 --> 00:14:15,221
I'm Little Bo Peep and I lost my sheep
170
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,348
and don't know where to find them.
171
00:14:17,349 --> 00:14:19,017
Well, leave them alone.
172
00:14:19,018 --> 00:14:21,060
They'll come home.
173
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,938
Wagging their tails behind them, probably.
174
00:14:23,939 --> 00:14:28,739
If I could trust you,
I'd tell you my trouble.
175
00:14:28,944 --> 00:14:31,070
Oh, you can trust me, little feller.
176
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:35,393
I never see anybody but my sheep anyway.
177
00:14:36,785 --> 00:14:41,756
You see, I'm a prince
and I'm in deep trouble.
178
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:45,752
Oh, I never met a prince before.
179
00:14:45,753 --> 00:14:50,215
Oh, what a relief those
sheep are so hairy.
180
00:14:50,216 --> 00:14:52,967
To tell you the truth,
I kind of miss my teddy bear.
181
00:14:52,968 --> 00:14:55,303
Oh, you like animals, too?
182
00:14:55,304 --> 00:14:57,786
I'm glad.
183
00:15:00,726 --> 00:15:02,560
What's your trouble?
184
00:15:02,561 --> 00:15:04,369
Tell me.
185
00:15:04,521 --> 00:15:09,108
If I can't produce an heir,
I lose my kingdom.
186
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,235
What's the matter?
187
00:15:10,236 --> 00:15:11,903
Can't you cum?
188
00:15:11,904 --> 00:15:14,738
Where you going?
189
00:15:18,911 --> 00:15:20,662
I think I can help you.
190
00:15:20,663 --> 00:15:23,330
You can?
191
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,493
Look, it's not your fault.
192
00:16:42,119 --> 00:16:45,599
Well, you see, it never works,
193
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:49,918
except when I look at a painting
194
00:16:49,919 --> 00:16:51,669
of the Princess of my dreams.
195
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:54,797
See, I'm sure it would work with her,
196
00:16:54,798 --> 00:16:57,759
but if I don't prove
my manhood by Thursday,
197
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,136
I'll lose my kingdom!
198
00:17:00,137 --> 00:17:02,847
You ought to go to the old
lady who lives in a shoe.
199
00:17:02,848 --> 00:17:05,807
She'll know what to do.
200
00:17:25,371 --> 00:17:29,749
Oh, Tommy, good day, what a glorious day.
201
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,460
You know, the girls are open for business,
202
00:17:32,461 --> 00:17:33,962
if you know what I mean.
203
00:17:33,963 --> 00:17:36,798
Oh, it's wonderful,
it's wonderful madam, Gussie Gander.
204
00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:39,759
Oh, I could just kiss
your privates and grovel at your loins
205
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,178
to give me this big opportunity and work.
206
00:17:42,179 --> 00:17:43,805
Thank you so much.
207
00:17:43,806 --> 00:17:45,640
I'll get business for us, I promise.
208
00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:46,933
Well, thank you, Tommy.
209
00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:48,476
You just do a good job
210
00:17:48,477 --> 00:17:51,104
and make Gussie real proud of you, okay?
211
00:17:51,105 --> 00:17:52,939
Oh, I will, Madam Gussie, I will.
212
00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:55,275
I'll get the suckers in here, believe me.
213
00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:56,860
You just keep us filled, huh?
214
00:17:56,861 --> 00:17:59,028
In a manner of speaking, I will.
215
00:17:59,029 --> 00:18:01,394
Well, good luck.
216
00:18:01,824 --> 00:18:03,491
Oh, boy, what an opportunity.
217
00:18:03,492 --> 00:18:05,243
Working the door in a classy joint
218
00:18:05,244 --> 00:18:09,054
like this for Madam Gussie Gander.
219
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,291
Here comes a couple of live ones.
220
00:18:11,292 --> 00:18:13,418
Excuse me, young man, excuse me.
221
00:18:13,419 --> 00:18:15,628
Take one or two steps forward, friends.
222
00:18:15,629 --> 00:18:17,797
Your bodies will naturally follow you.
223
00:18:17,798 --> 00:18:19,966
You see, what you're standing
in front of right now
224
00:18:19,967 --> 00:18:22,385
is your basic shoe of pleasure.
225
00:18:22,386 --> 00:18:23,678
Isn't that wonderful?
226
00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:25,763
Say yes, it makes me feel good.
227
00:18:25,764 --> 00:18:27,765
I couldn't help but notice
when you gentlemen walk up
228
00:18:27,766 --> 00:18:30,310
that each of you wear packing
your basic Saturday night
229
00:18:30,311 --> 00:18:32,812
special if you know what I mean.
230
00:18:32,813 --> 00:18:35,356
Well by golly, this is for
those with a hot member,
231
00:18:35,357 --> 00:18:37,358
a tired member, a member
that itch, ache, burns,
232
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,235
swells or throbs.
233
00:18:39,236 --> 00:18:41,154
It's a truly amazing place.
234
00:18:41,155 --> 00:18:43,948
It's a veritable Fairy
Land of fondling, feeling,
235
00:18:43,949 --> 00:18:47,577
flogging, flaying, and some
general good fooling around,
236
00:18:47,578 --> 00:18:49,245
if you know what I mean.
237
00:18:49,246 --> 00:18:51,456
Inside you've got your Snow White
238
00:18:51,457 --> 00:18:53,833
and the seven little people
and what they're doing to
239
00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:56,252
that girl is nobody's
business but their own.
240
00:18:56,253 --> 00:18:57,879
You're gonna see that inside.
241
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,215
You ever hear of Little Red Riding Hood?
242
00:19:00,216 --> 00:19:03,092
You'll get a chance to ride
our eight furlongs tonight,
243
00:19:03,093 --> 00:19:05,136
so why don't you go right inside?
244
00:19:05,137 --> 00:19:06,930
It's only gonna cost you
a couple of drachma, fellows.
245
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:09,641
You'll have the time of your life
and you'll thank me
246
00:19:09,642 --> 00:19:11,851
for it the longest day you will.
247
00:19:11,852 --> 00:19:13,186
Step right in.
248
00:19:13,187 --> 00:19:14,604
You're not interested?
249
00:19:14,605 --> 00:19:16,064
You say,
250
00:19:16,065 --> 00:19:17,649
"Wait, look at the nice piece
of merchandise I have here."
251
00:19:17,650 --> 00:19:21,027
By golly, that is your basic blender.
252
00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:24,531
That's for your icings,
for your sautes, for your fondues.
253
00:19:24,532 --> 00:19:26,074
You'll thank me for it.
254
00:19:26,075 --> 00:19:27,575
Here, turn it right
around on the other side,
255
00:19:27,576 --> 00:19:30,036
it's your Chopomatic
for your chopped nuts,
256
00:19:30,037 --> 00:19:33,998
your chopped ice, your salads, your slaws.
257
00:19:33,999 --> 00:19:35,583
Stiffs.
258
00:19:35,584 --> 00:19:36,751
How about you, sir?
259
00:19:36,752 --> 00:19:37,794
You want to go inside?
260
00:19:37,795 --> 00:19:40,088
Look, I've got a nice piece
of merchandise for you.
261
00:19:40,089 --> 00:19:44,092
Eight by 10 glossies shrunken
to make them pocket sized.
262
00:19:44,093 --> 00:19:45,885
Take these into
the privacy of your own home
263
00:19:45,886 --> 00:19:47,470
and what you do there, sir,
264
00:19:47,471 --> 00:19:49,347
is nobody's business but your own.
265
00:19:49,348 --> 00:19:52,267
Now, you know why they
call her Mother Goose.
266
00:19:52,268 --> 00:19:53,601
Look at that one.
267
00:19:53,602 --> 00:19:54,769
Isn't that amazing?
268
00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:57,063
That's Little Miss Muffet
sitting on her tuffet.
269
00:19:57,064 --> 00:19:59,607
Here she is sitting on
Mother Goose's tuffet,
270
00:19:59,608 --> 00:20:01,442
and there's Little Miss
Muffet just straight
271
00:20:01,443 --> 00:20:03,069
out camping on the peg.
272
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:04,195
Isn't that something, huh?
273
00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:06,656
Gets you a little randy,
doesn't it, to watch it?
274
00:20:06,657 --> 00:20:09,200
Look, it's $4 for the set.
275
00:20:09,201 --> 00:20:12,331
$2 for the set.
276
00:20:43,777 --> 00:20:46,738
Oh, Sirus, I'm so glad you're back!
277
00:20:46,739 --> 00:20:47,989
Hey, baby!
278
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:50,116
No, Sirus, no.
279
00:20:50,117 --> 00:20:51,868
No thank you, no.
280
00:20:51,869 --> 00:20:54,621
Now, now, Gussie, don't be so ungrateful.
281
00:20:54,622 --> 00:20:57,624
If it wasn't for me,
you'd still be on food stamps.
282
00:20:57,625 --> 00:21:00,001
Just a little old lady in this shoe had
283
00:21:00,002 --> 00:21:03,712
so many children
she didn't know what to do.
284
00:21:04,006 --> 00:21:06,716
Until old Sirus showed you, didn't I?
285
00:21:06,717 --> 00:21:09,636
Yes, Sirus, yes,
you did teach my girls the tricks
286
00:21:09,637 --> 00:21:11,721
of the trade but you'll get your cut.
287
00:21:11,722 --> 00:21:14,182
Not on everything.
288
00:21:14,183 --> 00:21:18,585
Sirus, I don't turn tricks for anybody.
289
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:25,527
Say, I wonder whatever
happened to Little Miss Muffet.
290
00:21:25,528 --> 00:21:27,987
I saw her in Chicago about a month ago.
291
00:21:27,988 --> 00:21:29,614
She's working the Red Slipper now.
292
00:21:29,615 --> 00:21:30,698
Oh, she had some act, didn't she?
293
00:21:30,699 --> 00:21:33,909
Yes, yes, a whole mouthful.
294
00:21:35,037 --> 00:21:36,329
Going down?
295
00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:37,789
Yes, second floor, please.
296
00:21:37,790 --> 00:21:39,832
Always something new, like I said.
297
00:21:39,833 --> 00:21:41,668
Always something new.
298
00:21:41,669 --> 00:21:44,628
The first elevator shoe.
299
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:52,771
This is our new attraction,
the Snow White Room.
300
00:21:56,267 --> 00:21:58,393
♪ I'm sequestered in a shanty ♪
301
00:21:58,394 --> 00:22:00,728
♪ Acting as a maiden aunty ♪
302
00:22:00,729 --> 00:22:05,108
♪ To a bunch of munchkin gigolos ♪
303
00:22:05,109 --> 00:22:07,652
♪ Stuck with seven ittie bitties ♪
304
00:22:07,653 --> 00:22:09,445
♪ Each no taller than my titties ♪
305
00:22:09,446 --> 00:22:13,950
♪ Every secret everybody knows ♪
306
00:22:13,951 --> 00:22:16,077
♪ So let me tell you all about ♪
307
00:22:16,078 --> 00:22:21,242
♪ The seven little wonders of my world ♪
308
00:22:22,710 --> 00:22:25,128
♪ These few years I'll spend in clover ♪
309
00:22:25,129 --> 00:22:27,380
♪ 'Til the honey moon is over ♪
310
00:22:27,381 --> 00:22:31,801
♪ And I've ceased to be their buttercup ♪
311
00:22:31,802 --> 00:22:34,304
♪ Though they aren't
the tallest breed, sir ♪
312
00:22:34,305 --> 00:22:36,514
♪ I believe you will concede, sir ♪
313
00:22:36,515 --> 00:22:40,935
♪ Once you've come to see my seven up ♪
314
00:22:40,936 --> 00:22:43,104
♪ And then you'll know the secret of ♪
315
00:22:43,105 --> 00:22:48,269
♪ The seven little wonders of my world ♪
316
00:22:50,279 --> 00:22:54,365
♪ In my humblest opinion it's heaven ♪
317
00:22:54,366 --> 00:22:58,995
♪ If you can multiply sex by seven ♪
318
00:22:58,996 --> 00:23:01,164
♪ When they call me for a date, hey ♪
319
00:23:01,165 --> 00:23:03,208
♪ I get a ready for an eight way ♪
320
00:23:03,209 --> 00:23:07,503
♪ Seven hungry little mouths to kiss ♪
321
00:23:07,504 --> 00:23:10,006
♪ You might think it's quite off beat but ♪
322
00:23:10,007 --> 00:23:12,133
♪ Fondling fourteen little feet but ♪
323
00:23:12,134 --> 00:23:16,429
♪ I think paradise must be like this ♪
324
00:23:16,430 --> 00:23:18,932
♪ And though it's not a real polite thing ♪
325
00:23:18,933 --> 00:23:21,434
♪ It's my seven times a night thing ♪
326
00:23:21,435 --> 00:23:25,855
♪ With the seven wonders of my world ♪
327
00:23:25,856 --> 00:23:30,192
♪ Seven comes eleven and
I'm out like a light ♪
328
00:23:34,782 --> 00:23:38,117
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
329
00:23:38,118 --> 00:23:41,564
who's the fairest of them all?
330
00:23:42,164 --> 00:23:46,566
Well, certainly not you, you ugly bitch.
331
00:23:48,170 --> 00:23:50,922
And this is the Mirror Room.
332
00:23:50,923 --> 00:23:54,217
What's that, Quasimodo's momma?
333
00:23:54,218 --> 00:23:57,869
What you see ain't what you get.
334
00:24:00,391 --> 00:24:05,394
Upon further reflection,
I'd buy a piece of that action.
335
00:24:08,148 --> 00:24:11,650
We gonna have to leave already, huh?
336
00:24:15,739 --> 00:24:16,990
Going down?
337
00:24:16,991 --> 00:24:18,575
Top floor, please.
338
00:24:18,576 --> 00:24:19,742
What's up there?
339
00:24:19,743 --> 00:24:22,494
The Star Room.
340
00:24:23,330 --> 00:24:26,375
Voila.
341
00:24:27,376 --> 00:24:28,793
It's locked.
342
00:24:28,794 --> 00:24:30,837
You bet your sweet little
codpiece it's locked.
343
00:24:30,838 --> 00:24:32,130
What's so hot about this room?
344
00:24:32,131 --> 00:24:34,132
Hell, I don't get a chance to see nothing.
345
00:24:34,133 --> 00:24:35,675
Oh, you're absolutely right.
346
00:24:35,676 --> 00:24:37,760
You don't get a chance to see nothing.
347
00:24:37,761 --> 00:24:38,970
You keep it locked forever?
348
00:24:38,971 --> 00:24:40,722
Oh, no, no, no, no,
349
00:24:40,723 --> 00:24:44,766
just until the right offer comes along.
350
00:24:55,154 --> 00:24:57,203
No, no!
351
00:25:09,335 --> 00:25:10,627
Oh, no, oh, please, oh, no, no, no.
352
00:25:10,628 --> 00:25:12,295
Oh, please, no.
353
00:25:12,296 --> 00:25:13,713
You don't understand.
354
00:25:13,714 --> 00:25:16,174
This isn't my way, oh, gib.
355
00:25:16,175 --> 00:25:18,904
Oh, you're hopeless.
356
00:25:19,136 --> 00:25:20,929
I've been trying to turn you on all day
357
00:25:20,930 --> 00:25:23,598
and all you could do is lie here and moan.
358
00:25:23,599 --> 00:25:25,308
Oh, get away from me.
359
00:25:25,309 --> 00:25:28,311
Honestly, can I help it if
there was no water up the hill?
360
00:25:28,312 --> 00:25:29,395
Water?
361
00:25:29,396 --> 00:25:31,272
You really think I went up the hill
362
00:25:31,273 --> 00:25:32,815
to fetch a pail of water?
363
00:25:32,816 --> 00:25:34,526
Well, I simply can't imagine what else.
364
00:25:34,527 --> 00:25:37,689
God, I don't believe it.
365
00:25:38,697 --> 00:25:42,906
Oh, oh.
366
00:25:49,333 --> 00:25:51,376
Oh.
367
00:25:51,377 --> 00:25:53,294
Hi, who are you?
368
00:25:53,295 --> 00:25:56,457
I'm Jill from up the hill.
369
00:25:56,674 --> 00:25:58,508
Want to fool around?
370
00:25:58,509 --> 00:25:59,968
No, I have a jester.
371
00:25:59,969 --> 00:26:02,470
He does all my fooling around for me.
372
00:26:02,471 --> 00:26:04,305
Oh.
373
00:26:04,306 --> 00:26:06,512
I'm a prince.
374
00:26:06,809 --> 00:26:08,226
Try to control yourself.
375
00:26:08,227 --> 00:26:11,228
Have we met before?
376
00:26:12,064 --> 00:26:13,690
- Oh, yes...
- Say, you know,
377
00:26:13,691 --> 00:26:17,443
the best thing is just
don't bother with them.
378
00:26:17,444 --> 00:26:19,696
Well, you're a lovely couple
and I could go on talking
379
00:26:19,697 --> 00:26:23,587
to you all day, but I'm on a quest.
380
00:26:24,493 --> 00:26:27,453
Yes, a very, very important quest
381
00:26:27,454 --> 00:26:30,900
and I'm gonna resume questing.
382
00:26:39,049 --> 00:26:41,380
Oh, young man!
383
00:26:45,890 --> 00:26:47,932
Hey, my man, Tommy Tucker.
384
00:26:47,933 --> 00:26:49,684
What's jumping off?
385
00:26:49,685 --> 00:26:51,185
Say, how did you make
out in that land deal
386
00:26:51,186 --> 00:26:54,564
where you sold the land to
Old King Cole, your boss?
387
00:26:54,565 --> 00:26:55,940
He's complaining about that.
388
00:26:55,941 --> 00:26:57,483
What's he complaining about?
389
00:26:57,484 --> 00:26:58,985
He's complaining because the land is
390
00:26:58,986 --> 00:27:00,904
under 20 feet of water in the Everglades.
391
00:27:00,905 --> 00:27:02,405
Oh, boy, why'd you tell him?
392
00:27:02,406 --> 00:27:03,948
I says,
393
00:27:03,949 --> 00:27:04,824
"Schumck, look at all the money you saved.
394
00:27:04,825 --> 00:27:06,034
"You don't gotta put a pool in."
395
00:27:06,035 --> 00:27:07,493
Some people are never happy.
396
00:27:07,494 --> 00:27:08,786
I get the same beefs.
397
00:27:08,787 --> 00:27:10,663
I sell some vibrators to
some airline stewardesses
398
00:27:10,664 --> 00:27:12,999
the other night,
they want their money back.
399
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,585
Claimed it chipped their teeth.
400
00:27:15,586 --> 00:27:16,878
It's hard to make a buck, man.
401
00:27:16,879 --> 00:27:18,046
I know, it's terrible.
402
00:27:18,047 --> 00:27:19,589
What brings you to these parts tonight?
403
00:27:19,590 --> 00:27:21,424
Checking out some
new fluff for the King.
404
00:27:21,425 --> 00:27:23,218
Well, we got some loose stuff inside.
405
00:27:23,219 --> 00:27:24,719
- Do you?
- Maybe you want
406
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,054
to take a look.
407
00:27:26,055 --> 00:27:30,057
We got all new attractions, go in.
408
00:27:30,392 --> 00:27:33,810
Oh, what a warm and
wonderful human being he is.
409
00:27:34,522 --> 00:27:36,231
The King sends his greetings.
410
00:27:36,232 --> 00:27:37,774
Yeah, if that's all he sent,
411
00:27:37,775 --> 00:27:39,526
you tell that fat ass King Cole...
412
00:27:39,527 --> 00:27:42,445
Hey, hey, hey, featherhead.
413
00:27:42,446 --> 00:27:44,906
That's the King you're talking about.
414
00:27:44,907 --> 00:27:46,658
You keep talking that way,
you're gonna be wearing
415
00:27:46,659 --> 00:27:49,701
that codpiece around your nose.
416
00:27:49,912 --> 00:27:52,622
Now, His Majesty always
sends a small tribute
417
00:27:52,623 --> 00:27:55,750
in memory of the last time that he was
418
00:27:55,751 --> 00:27:58,461
in this elegant establishment you got here
419
00:27:58,462 --> 00:28:01,047
and this time he sent this.
420
00:28:01,048 --> 00:28:04,260
Thank you.
421
00:28:05,261 --> 00:28:07,467
Small change?
422
00:28:07,763 --> 00:28:10,848
What did we give him last time,
one of the seven dwarves?
423
00:28:10,849 --> 00:28:13,434
- Hey...
- Excuse me.
424
00:28:13,435 --> 00:28:14,894
He's just kidding.
425
00:28:14,895 --> 00:28:19,695
Tell His Majesty that I
most humbly thank him.
426
00:28:20,067 --> 00:28:21,568
His Majesty would like to know
427
00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:24,404
what you got for his pleasure tonight
428
00:28:24,405 --> 00:28:27,740
and His Majesty also told me to tell you
429
00:28:27,741 --> 00:28:30,577
that if you could
possibly arrange a virgin,
430
00:28:30,578 --> 00:28:35,582
he would not be adverse to
giving a little extra schmear,
431
00:28:35,583 --> 00:28:38,834
if you know what I mean.
432
00:28:50,139 --> 00:28:51,014
Hi.
433
00:28:51,015 --> 00:28:52,974
Gotsy sent me from the Shoe of Pleasure.
434
00:28:52,975 --> 00:28:55,659
Oh, Gotsy sent you.
435
00:28:56,687 --> 00:28:59,098
What's your name?
436
00:28:59,398 --> 00:29:01,524
Scheherazade.
437
00:29:01,525 --> 00:29:03,731
Scheherazade?
438
00:29:04,236 --> 00:29:07,204
From the Arabian Nights?
439
00:29:07,448 --> 00:29:10,655
From many Arabian nights.
440
00:29:14,496 --> 00:29:18,386
And what do you have in your urn?
441
00:29:18,459 --> 00:29:21,348
Just oil from Arabia.
442
00:29:21,503 --> 00:29:24,505
What do you do with your oil?
443
00:29:24,506 --> 00:29:28,874
I have a special way of pleasing a man.
444
00:29:29,428 --> 00:29:32,159
Yes.
445
00:32:16,095 --> 00:32:17,345
Can you help me?
446
00:32:17,346 --> 00:32:19,556
What seems to be
your problem, young lady?
447
00:32:19,557 --> 00:32:22,934
I'm Little Bo Peep and I lost my sheep.
448
00:32:22,935 --> 00:32:24,769
And you don't know where to find them.
449
00:32:24,770 --> 00:32:26,729
And I don't know where to find them.
450
00:32:26,730 --> 00:32:28,106
Well, they're just inside
451
00:32:28,107 --> 00:32:29,607
with two business men from Detroit.
452
00:32:29,608 --> 00:32:32,026
$3 sure time the sheep
are paying for the towels.
453
00:32:32,027 --> 00:32:34,279
Say young lady, look, while you're here,
454
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:36,531
maybe you want to stop
inside and get a job.
455
00:32:36,532 --> 00:32:38,157
You know, we're always
looking for a new animal act
456
00:32:38,158 --> 00:32:40,243
and speaking of animal acts,
it's looks like a lot
457
00:32:40,244 --> 00:32:42,620
of horsemen rode into
that valley of fatigue.
458
00:32:42,621 --> 00:32:44,831
You know, let me just look at this.
459
00:32:44,832 --> 00:32:46,666
I can read bruises, you know.
460
00:32:46,667 --> 00:32:48,167
You can really read bruises?
461
00:32:48,168 --> 00:32:49,752
Mmhmm.
462
00:32:49,753 --> 00:32:50,920
I can't tell anything about the future,
463
00:32:50,921 --> 00:32:51,963
but I can tell what you did last night.
464
00:32:51,964 --> 00:32:53,590
Let's, okay, look, you go inside.
465
00:32:53,591 --> 00:32:55,383
You tell Gussie, she's the boss,
466
00:32:55,384 --> 00:32:56,926
you want a job working under me.
467
00:32:56,927 --> 00:32:58,511
Go right in.
468
00:32:58,512 --> 00:33:02,721
I didn't know Kojak had a twin brother.
469
00:33:03,475 --> 00:33:05,935
Lovely girl, lovely piece of meat.
470
00:33:05,936 --> 00:33:10,648
And then, I met this prince
in the woods, you know.
471
00:33:10,649 --> 00:33:12,859
I didn't know King Cole had any kids.
472
00:33:12,860 --> 00:33:14,444
Oh, no, he's not from here.
473
00:33:14,445 --> 00:33:19,240
He's from a far away land
and he has a curse on him.
474
00:33:19,241 --> 00:33:20,909
What kind of a curse?
475
00:33:20,910 --> 00:33:23,369
Well, you see, it's like this.
476
00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:26,831
A long time ago...
477
00:33:26,832 --> 00:33:29,542
It's a king's ransom
if you do it right, Sirus.
478
00:33:29,543 --> 00:33:31,836
Right, that's the only way I know how.
479
00:33:31,837 --> 00:33:33,713
But of course.
480
00:33:33,714 --> 00:33:35,506
There's a prince walking in the woods
481
00:33:35,507 --> 00:33:37,926
who has a hell of
a problem with the ladies
482
00:33:37,927 --> 00:33:40,470
and I think that if we solve his problem,
483
00:33:40,471 --> 00:33:45,601
we'll cut into a fortune
that you wouldn't believe.
484
00:33:57,112 --> 00:34:02,242
♪ Today my life has
shown me a kind of lonely ♪
485
00:34:05,788 --> 00:34:09,314
♪ I never knew ♪
486
00:34:10,292 --> 00:34:15,422
♪ My days have been a fable with me unable ♪
487
00:34:19,468 --> 00:34:24,055
♪ To tell the false from true ♪
488
00:34:24,056 --> 00:34:28,742
♪ I know I'll meet somebody ♪
489
00:34:30,813 --> 00:34:35,534
♪ And yet I don't know where ♪
490
00:34:37,653 --> 00:34:42,783
♪ I'm hoping that somebody
learns to care, wants to share ♪
491
00:34:51,292 --> 00:34:56,263
♪ So world, please be forgiving ♪
492
00:34:57,131 --> 00:35:02,216
♪ If I view living a different way ♪
493
00:35:04,013 --> 00:35:09,143
♪ I'll find some strength to borrow ♪
494
00:35:10,603 --> 00:35:15,085
♪ And face tomorrow today ♪
495
00:35:38,505 --> 00:35:40,791
Hey, you, you!
496
00:35:40,966 --> 00:35:44,253
Prince with the sex problem.
497
00:35:44,261 --> 00:35:46,846
That's me, but how did you know?
498
00:35:46,847 --> 00:35:49,724
Little old birdy kind
of whispered in my ear.
499
00:35:49,725 --> 00:35:52,185
But come on now, we're going
on down the yellow brick road
500
00:35:52,186 --> 00:35:56,648
where Peter Pan learned to
fly and Olive Oil and Popeye
501
00:35:56,649 --> 00:35:59,817
and Tinklebell was tinkle-ized.
502
00:35:59,818 --> 00:36:01,865
Come on, now.
503
00:36:02,446 --> 00:36:06,074
We're going on down the yellow brick road.
504
00:36:06,075 --> 00:36:08,369
Um,
505
00:36:09,370 --> 00:36:11,162
what are you talking about?
506
00:36:11,163 --> 00:36:14,415
I'm talking about the Shoe of Pleasure.
507
00:36:14,416 --> 00:36:16,376
The Shoe of Pleasure?
508
00:36:16,377 --> 00:36:20,964
Little Bo Peep told me
about the Shoe of Pleasure!
509
00:36:20,965 --> 00:36:22,131
Who are you?
510
00:36:22,132 --> 00:36:26,427
Sirus is my name and pimpin' is my game.
511
00:36:26,428 --> 00:36:29,556
Pimpin', pimpin',
what kind of a game is pimpin'?
512
00:36:29,557 --> 00:36:31,724
Oh, pimpin', pimpin'!
513
00:36:31,725 --> 00:36:36,312
Isn't there where a team dressed
in blue kick a large squash
514
00:36:36,313 --> 00:36:39,649
and you have another team that
has a great deal of pimpin'?
515
00:36:39,650 --> 00:36:41,458
No, man!
516
00:36:41,652 --> 00:36:44,782
Pimp, I'm a pimp!
517
00:36:46,949 --> 00:36:48,241
What's a pimp?
518
00:36:48,242 --> 00:36:50,660
Pimp, P-I-M-P.
519
00:36:50,661 --> 00:36:54,497
Person for the Improvement
of Men's Pee-Pee Problems.
520
00:36:54,498 --> 00:36:57,899
Sort of like a social worker.
521
00:36:58,002 --> 00:37:00,253
Maybe you can help me.
522
00:37:00,254 --> 00:37:01,713
Sure I can.
523
00:37:01,714 --> 00:37:05,507
Come on now, we're going
on down the yellow brick road.
524
00:37:13,726 --> 00:37:16,144
Come on, Princey,
I'm taking you to the place
525
00:37:16,145 --> 00:37:18,438
where Pinocchio had his first nose job.
526
00:37:18,439 --> 00:37:20,732
I mean, this is where it's at,
where I'm gonna fix you.
527
00:37:20,733 --> 00:37:22,317
Hello, Tommy, what's happening, baby?
528
00:37:22,318 --> 00:37:24,485
- Give me some, oh.
- Sirus!
529
00:37:24,486 --> 00:37:26,237
Come on, now.
530
00:37:26,238 --> 00:37:27,780
You alright, I love you, too.
531
00:37:27,781 --> 00:37:29,574
Come here, Tommy, I want you
to meet the Princey here.
532
00:37:29,575 --> 00:37:31,910
Hey, Prince, you're
traveling with the right man.
533
00:37:31,911 --> 00:37:33,661
We call him the Soul of the Shoe.
534
00:37:33,662 --> 00:37:34,871
Sirus, how have you been?
535
00:37:34,872 --> 00:37:35,997
How's things on the street?
536
00:37:35,998 --> 00:37:37,081
It's mellow!
537
00:37:37,082 --> 00:37:38,750
It's great, you know, but let me tell you
538
00:37:38,751 --> 00:37:40,543
about my friend Princey here.
539
00:37:40,544 --> 00:37:43,004
Princey got the Humpty
Dumpty-it is, you know?
540
00:37:43,005 --> 00:37:45,089
All the king's horses
and all the king's men
541
00:37:45,090 --> 00:37:46,966
couldn't put Humpty up again.
542
00:37:46,967 --> 00:37:48,092
I mean, we gonna fix him up.
543
00:37:48,093 --> 00:37:49,969
Tell him about the place now.
544
00:37:49,970 --> 00:37:51,387
Little dangle in your dingle, Prince?
545
00:37:51,388 --> 00:37:52,430
That what's wrong, huh?
546
00:37:52,431 --> 00:37:54,432
Little flaccid in the old member, huh?
547
00:37:54,433 --> 00:37:56,601
We have a girl inside
up on the third floor.
548
00:37:56,602 --> 00:37:58,311
By golly, you're gonna
meet her in a moment.
549
00:37:58,312 --> 00:37:59,812
You're gonna thank Sirus and I
550
00:37:59,813 --> 00:38:01,523
for this the longest day you live.
551
00:38:01,524 --> 00:38:03,441
She'll clean your clock, my Prince.
552
00:38:03,442 --> 00:38:05,693
She'll put a little
starch in the old wee-wee,
553
00:38:05,694 --> 00:38:09,112
if you know what I mean.
554
00:38:10,658 --> 00:38:14,244
Now, when you go in there,
all your troubles will be over
555
00:38:14,245 --> 00:38:16,871
because Snow White and
her seven little friends
556
00:38:16,872 --> 00:38:20,833
have never failed to turn
on a gentleman caller.
557
00:38:20,834 --> 00:38:23,212
I'll try.
558
00:38:24,213 --> 00:38:28,800
You have absolutely
nothing to worry about.
559
00:38:28,801 --> 00:38:32,302
Okay?
560
00:38:35,766 --> 00:38:37,767
- Hey.
- Alright, momma.
561
00:38:37,768 --> 00:38:40,728
We did it.
562
00:38:45,526 --> 00:38:48,195
Didn't work.
563
00:38:58,038 --> 00:38:59,789
If at first you don't succeed...
564
00:38:59,790 --> 00:39:02,458
Try, baby, try it again.
565
00:39:02,459 --> 00:39:05,377
That's good.
566
00:39:15,806 --> 00:39:18,433
♪ It's when we love a man sincerely ♪
567
00:39:18,434 --> 00:39:21,686
♪ That we will treat him so severely ♪
568
00:39:21,687 --> 00:39:23,771
♪ I'll even tie him drastically ♪
569
00:39:23,772 --> 00:39:27,734
♪ If he's as frightened of
you as he is frightened of me ♪
570
00:39:27,735 --> 00:39:30,945
♪ It's so amusing to be abusing ♪
571
00:39:30,946 --> 00:39:36,076
♪ And so we beat him,
Daddy, eight to the bar ♪
572
00:39:40,748 --> 00:39:43,875
♪ It doesn't matter if he's massive ♪
573
00:39:43,876 --> 00:39:47,420
♪ So long as he learns to be passive ♪
574
00:39:47,421 --> 00:39:49,923
♪ It's such a novel thing to see ♪
575
00:39:49,924 --> 00:39:53,051
♪ When he is groveling for
you and he is groveling for me ♪
576
00:39:53,052 --> 00:39:56,262
♪ But they turn ashen when we keep lashin' ♪
577
00:39:56,263 --> 00:39:59,849
♪ We really beat him,
Daddy, eight to the bar ♪
578
00:39:59,850 --> 00:40:04,980
♪ Oh, Daddy we're gonna tan
your hide 'til it's brown ♪
579
00:40:05,356 --> 00:40:09,150
♪ Doo doo doo doo Daddy ♪
580
00:40:09,151 --> 00:40:14,281
♪ We'll turn you on so don't turn us down ♪
581
00:40:31,507 --> 00:40:34,300
♪ Some guys think it's kind of sparky ♪
582
00:40:34,301 --> 00:40:37,345
♪ That we make sex a matriarchy ♪
583
00:40:37,346 --> 00:40:40,348
♪ It's as astounding as can be ♪
584
00:40:40,349 --> 00:40:42,267
♪ They want a pounding from you ♪
585
00:40:42,268 --> 00:40:43,726
♪ They want a pounding from me ♪
586
00:40:43,727 --> 00:40:46,521
♪ It's so amusing to be abusing ♪
587
00:40:46,522 --> 00:40:51,651
♪ And we so beat him, Daddy,
two, four, six, and eight ♪
588
00:40:51,652 --> 00:40:54,973
♪ To the bar ♪
589
00:41:03,497 --> 00:41:05,665
That was fantastic!
590
00:41:05,666 --> 00:41:08,191
But it didn't work.
591
00:41:09,587 --> 00:41:11,963
This look like a job
592
00:41:11,964 --> 00:41:15,934
for Aunt La Voh and her love potion.
593
00:41:17,303 --> 00:41:19,220
Hey, Peeping Tom.
594
00:41:19,221 --> 00:41:21,014
Oh, Tommy Tucker.
595
00:41:21,015 --> 00:41:23,141
Back for another evening
of visual delights,
596
00:41:23,142 --> 00:41:24,767
as it were, hmm?
597
00:41:24,768 --> 00:41:26,269
- Oh.
- Shame on you
598
00:41:26,270 --> 00:41:27,770
but we have something new for you
599
00:41:27,771 --> 00:41:29,397
up in our Leather and Latex suite.
600
00:41:29,398 --> 00:41:33,193
Picture if you can a young girl,
19 years of age,
601
00:41:33,194 --> 00:41:37,989
flashing white alabaster
thighs and she had Gussie set
602
00:41:37,990 --> 00:41:41,159
up a Siberian torture post in the Leather
603
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,786
and Latex Suite and she said
that she'd be tied to it
604
00:41:43,787 --> 00:41:46,664
and that we give her a sound
birching on the fleshy parts
605
00:41:46,665 --> 00:41:48,666
of her thighs, if you know what I mean.
606
00:41:48,667 --> 00:41:51,335
Would you like to what that?
607
00:42:58,946 --> 00:43:01,781
Is everyone having a good time?
608
00:43:01,782 --> 00:43:04,408
Oh, hello.
609
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:08,997
Snow White.
610
00:43:08,998 --> 00:43:10,806
Hi!
611
00:43:10,916 --> 00:43:12,000
Where are the dwarves?
612
00:43:12,001 --> 00:43:13,459
Oh, it was past their bedtime.
613
00:43:13,460 --> 00:43:14,711
I tucked them in.
614
00:43:14,712 --> 00:43:16,296
Oh, and the sheep?
615
00:43:16,297 --> 00:43:18,047
I lost them again.
616
00:43:18,048 --> 00:43:19,340
- Again?
- Have you thought
617
00:43:19,341 --> 00:43:22,009
of looking for another job?
618
00:43:22,261 --> 00:43:23,469
Would you like some hors d'oeuvres?
619
00:43:23,470 --> 00:43:24,721
Oh, yes!
620
00:43:24,722 --> 00:43:26,972
Such a nice party.
621
00:43:28,309 --> 00:43:31,019
King Cole, gentlemen,
you're here for the big party.
622
00:43:31,020 --> 00:43:34,355
I bid you welcome to our
humble house of pleasure.
623
00:43:34,356 --> 00:43:36,566
King, let me kiss your thing.
624
00:43:36,567 --> 00:43:37,650
It's his ring.
625
00:43:37,651 --> 00:43:38,693
It's a ring, schumck.
626
00:43:38,694 --> 00:43:40,820
You kiss what you want
I'll kiss what I want.
627
00:43:40,821 --> 00:43:43,031
King, I meant to mention to you,
628
00:43:43,032 --> 00:43:45,241
I was passing your castle
the other day, you know,
629
00:43:45,242 --> 00:43:47,202
and I noticed it's a little rundown,
630
00:43:47,203 --> 00:43:49,078
a little going to seed, as we say.
631
00:43:49,079 --> 00:43:50,955
You know, in addition to being a doorman,
632
00:43:50,956 --> 00:43:53,958
I do represent the ACME
Aluminum Siding and School
633
00:43:53,959 --> 00:43:55,627
of the Dance, you know,
located over in the valley.
634
00:43:55,628 --> 00:43:59,130
We could do a nice job of
siding plus throw in free
635
00:43:59,131 --> 00:44:02,217
of any charge aluminum
storm windows and doors
636
00:44:02,218 --> 00:44:05,011
and some nice cyclone fencing
I think you'd like that.
637
00:44:05,012 --> 00:44:06,346
Later, later, later.
638
00:44:06,347 --> 00:44:07,722
King's here on royal business.
639
00:44:07,723 --> 00:44:08,932
Oh, yeah.
640
00:44:08,933 --> 00:44:10,183
The party's just beginning.
641
00:44:10,184 --> 00:44:11,351
You go inside, gentlemen.
642
00:44:11,352 --> 00:44:12,852
I know the girls are
waiting for you, King.
643
00:44:12,853 --> 00:44:15,438
Thanks for gracing our humble court.
644
00:44:15,439 --> 00:44:19,886
Such a warm king.
645
00:44:37,586 --> 00:44:40,907
Aunt La Voh, Aunt La Voh!
646
00:44:42,383 --> 00:44:46,301
I know she's got to be
around here somewhere.
647
00:45:10,452 --> 00:45:15,582
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
648
00:45:17,918 --> 00:45:21,296
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
649
00:45:21,297 --> 00:45:25,466
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
650
00:45:25,467 --> 00:45:30,597
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
651
00:45:32,516 --> 00:45:36,519
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
652
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:40,982
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
653
00:45:40,983 --> 00:45:44,277
♪ You've got to trust your mystic mama ♪
654
00:45:44,278 --> 00:45:47,447
♪ She's gonna lay her magic on ya ♪
655
00:45:47,448 --> 00:45:51,409
♪ With just a funky incantation ♪
656
00:45:51,410 --> 00:45:55,538
♪ You're gonna be a love sensation ♪
657
00:45:55,539 --> 00:46:00,669
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
658
00:46:02,963 --> 00:46:06,299
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
659
00:46:06,300 --> 00:46:10,762
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
660
00:46:10,763 --> 00:46:15,893
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
661
00:46:18,103 --> 00:46:21,439
♪ You'll feel how good love can be ♪
662
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:25,944
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
663
00:46:25,945 --> 00:46:29,113
♪ You can feel it, baby ♪
664
00:46:29,114 --> 00:46:32,158
♪ Come on and feel it, baby ♪
665
00:46:32,159 --> 00:46:35,870
♪ Now, feel it, baby ♪
666
00:46:35,871 --> 00:46:40,500
♪ Come on and feel it, baby ♪
667
00:46:40,501 --> 00:46:45,631
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
668
00:46:48,050 --> 00:46:51,469
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
669
00:46:51,470 --> 00:46:55,557
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
670
00:46:55,558 --> 00:47:00,643
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
671
00:47:02,773 --> 00:47:06,317
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
672
00:47:06,318 --> 00:47:09,779
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
673
00:47:09,780 --> 00:47:13,700
♪ If you relax and just get near it ♪
674
00:47:13,701 --> 00:47:17,704
♪ You're gonna feel my witchy spirit ♪
675
00:47:17,705 --> 00:47:21,207
♪ I've got a job to cure your trouble ♪
676
00:47:21,208 --> 00:47:25,461
♪ Just listen to my cauldron bubble ♪
677
00:47:25,462 --> 00:47:30,592
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
678
00:47:32,720 --> 00:47:35,972
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
679
00:47:35,973 --> 00:47:40,226
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
680
00:47:40,227 --> 00:47:43,313
♪ Now, that I've got you in my power ♪
681
00:47:43,314 --> 00:47:47,233
♪ You'll pass a day in just one hour ♪
682
00:47:47,234 --> 00:47:50,987
♪ I've got a supernatural feeling ♪
683
00:47:50,988 --> 00:47:55,325
♪ That's gonna send your body reeling ♪
684
00:47:55,326 --> 00:48:00,456
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
685
00:48:02,625 --> 00:48:05,919
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
686
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,589
♪When I spell in you, baby ♪
687
00:48:09,590 --> 00:48:13,992
♪Oh, oh, telling you, baby ♪
688
00:48:17,264 --> 00:48:21,746
♪ Oh, oh, spelling you, baby ♪
689
00:48:27,566 --> 00:48:29,359
Now, Aunt La Voh,
can you just give us some
690
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:30,944
of that voodoo help?
691
00:48:30,945 --> 00:48:33,154
My friend here, little Princey,
692
00:48:33,155 --> 00:48:36,032
he has a problem with the ladies.
693
00:48:36,033 --> 00:48:38,842
Hand me that bottle.
694
00:48:44,750 --> 00:48:46,637
Pour it in.
695
00:48:48,170 --> 00:48:51,630
Hey, that's Mom's extra dry.
696
00:49:02,142 --> 00:49:04,143
My bloodhound nose is telling me
697
00:49:04,144 --> 00:49:06,521
there's hookers in that shoe.
698
00:49:06,522 --> 00:49:09,274
By the powers invested to me by King Cole
699
00:49:09,275 --> 00:49:11,359
who made me head of the Vice Squad,
700
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,778
I think we're gonna knock off the shoe.
701
00:49:13,779 --> 00:49:16,406
What do we want to
knock off the price for?
702
00:49:16,407 --> 00:49:18,992
Let's go up there and knock off a piece.
703
00:49:18,993 --> 00:49:21,661
Hey, you want a molly.
704
00:49:21,662 --> 00:49:26,792
Otto, wait, I think the doorman
is gonna go to lunch.
705
00:49:28,085 --> 00:49:32,504
There's a big chance now, come on!
706
00:49:51,567 --> 00:49:54,484
The cops, cool it!
707
00:49:56,780 --> 00:50:00,408
Let's get out of here, run!
708
00:50:03,370 --> 00:50:06,247
Well, good evening, Baron.
709
00:50:06,248 --> 00:50:08,082
No good evening me, Boot Anne.
710
00:50:08,083 --> 00:50:09,209
Step aside.
711
00:50:09,210 --> 00:50:10,084
Everybody freeze!
712
00:50:10,085 --> 00:50:11,920
Everybody freeze!
713
00:50:11,921 --> 00:50:14,172
This is a raid.
714
00:50:14,173 --> 00:50:16,758
Welcome to my boarding house.
715
00:50:16,759 --> 00:50:18,009
Boarding house?
716
00:50:18,010 --> 00:50:19,135
You mean, bawdy house.
717
00:50:19,136 --> 00:50:23,345
- This is a bawdy house.
- Shut up, you.
718
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,142
Your Majesty.
719
00:50:26,143 --> 00:50:29,187
Relax, these are my friends.
720
00:50:29,188 --> 00:50:31,553
Have a good time.
721
00:50:32,441 --> 00:50:33,983
The coast is clear!
722
00:50:33,984 --> 00:50:36,902
Everyone can come back!
723
00:50:43,118 --> 00:50:45,119
I'm sorry, I mean, it just didn't work.
724
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:49,290
The bubbles tickled my nose and
the steam ruined my sinuses.
725
00:50:49,291 --> 00:50:53,421
I may never smell again.
726
00:50:55,172 --> 00:50:58,336
Looks like rain.
727
00:51:04,515 --> 00:51:08,183
But ladies, ladies,
what would the bishops say?
728
00:51:08,394 --> 00:51:09,978
He just left a few minutes ago.
729
00:51:09,979 --> 00:51:12,479
Oh?
730
00:51:13,899 --> 00:51:18,360
Hey, look at King Cole,
just look at him.
731
00:51:20,406 --> 00:51:22,740
You're having a good time, aren't you?
732
00:51:22,741 --> 00:51:24,242
What do you look at?
733
00:51:24,243 --> 00:51:25,285
You lost my act up, get out of here.
734
00:51:25,286 --> 00:51:27,161
Why don't you jump off
the chair to get out of here?
735
00:51:27,162 --> 00:51:29,079
Come on.
736
00:51:32,459 --> 00:51:34,627
I have to drink more champagne,
more champagne!
737
00:51:34,628 --> 00:51:35,837
Let me ask you a question.
738
00:51:35,838 --> 00:51:36,963
What?
739
00:51:36,964 --> 00:51:38,464
Where's your dwarves tonight?
740
00:51:38,465 --> 00:51:39,549
Oh, it's past their bedtime.
741
00:51:39,550 --> 00:51:41,134
They don't even know I'm here.
742
00:51:41,135 --> 00:51:43,553
Yeah, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.
743
00:51:43,554 --> 00:51:46,472
You got a little dwarf up there named...
744
00:51:46,473 --> 00:51:47,557
Which one?
745
00:51:47,558 --> 00:51:50,481
I've got seven of them.
746
00:51:50,895 --> 00:51:53,980
Oh, Cheech,
a little one named Cheech, right.
747
00:51:53,981 --> 00:51:56,608
He hasn't been gambling again, has he?
748
00:51:56,609 --> 00:51:58,818
That's right and he owes
me a lot of money, too.
749
00:51:58,819 --> 00:52:00,778
Okay, how much?
750
00:52:00,779 --> 00:52:01,654
There you go, there you go.
751
00:52:01,655 --> 00:52:02,864
Tick tick tick.
752
00:52:02,865 --> 00:52:04,449
Everybody going up to the room
753
00:52:04,450 --> 00:52:07,976
what do you think of that idea?
754
00:52:08,704 --> 00:52:10,538
I have a hard time deciding
which of you lovelies
755
00:52:10,539 --> 00:52:12,998
to do this with.
756
00:53:12,810 --> 00:53:14,561
Hiya, Frog Prince.
757
00:53:14,562 --> 00:53:17,021
Hey, gonna give it another shot tonight?
758
00:53:17,022 --> 00:53:18,898
Yes, Thomas, as you know,
759
00:53:18,899 --> 00:53:21,359
I must try and find
a virgin who will kiss me
760
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:27,360
and lift the curse that turned me
into a frog so long ago.
761
00:54:07,031 --> 00:54:09,324
Hey, I got a couple of good ideas, huh?
762
00:54:09,325 --> 00:54:11,659
I take you someplace
else besides this place
763
00:54:11,660 --> 00:54:14,495
because here there's too much
things going on I don't like.
764
00:54:14,496 --> 00:54:17,623
Me, I'm a clean living guy.
765
00:54:20,377 --> 00:54:22,586
How do you like that, buster?
766
00:54:22,838 --> 00:54:25,548
You really think you give them a throat?
767
00:54:25,549 --> 00:54:28,843
Try me here, come one,
give me a little bit,
768
00:54:28,844 --> 00:54:30,261
give me a little bit.
769
00:54:30,262 --> 00:54:32,096
Come on, give me a little bit.
770
00:54:32,097 --> 00:54:34,973
Come on, oh, yes.
771
00:54:40,397 --> 00:54:42,357
Oh, you belong to me, baby.
772
00:54:42,358 --> 00:54:45,443
You so nice.
773
00:54:52,701 --> 00:54:55,369
Hey!
774
00:55:02,002 --> 00:55:04,288
Get out of here!
775
00:55:04,672 --> 00:55:07,006
Now, sir, this is no fruity bootery no.
776
00:55:07,007 --> 00:55:09,133
This is people of your normal persuasion,
777
00:55:09,134 --> 00:55:11,636
people of your standard, ongoing interest.
778
00:55:11,637 --> 00:55:13,346
Now, to introduce the place,
779
00:55:13,347 --> 00:55:15,390
we have an amazing three piece offer.
780
00:55:15,391 --> 00:55:16,266
Here's what you get.
781
00:55:16,267 --> 00:55:18,893
First, the visit to
our Salon du Cinderella
782
00:55:18,894 --> 00:55:22,397
where we have the girls
from the Rose Bowl parade,
783
00:55:22,398 --> 00:55:24,148
you know, with the little boots on
784
00:55:24,149 --> 00:55:27,068
and you slip those tight little
boots off and you go around
785
00:55:27,069 --> 00:55:29,571
and try to glass slipper on those chubby,
786
00:55:29,572 --> 00:55:31,114
aching little feet.
787
00:55:31,115 --> 00:55:34,200
Then number two, you visit
our Salon of S and M.
788
00:55:34,201 --> 00:55:35,910
Now, on your first visit,
789
00:55:35,911 --> 00:55:37,704
you can't expect the girls to flog you.
790
00:55:37,705 --> 00:55:39,789
They're nice girls,
but maybe I can talk to one
791
00:55:39,790 --> 00:55:41,457
and have them backhand you goodnight
792
00:55:41,458 --> 00:55:43,626
and then if you want, you can have sex
793
00:55:43,627 --> 00:55:45,128
with some of the ladies.
794
00:55:45,129 --> 00:55:46,546
That's $20 to have sex.
795
00:55:46,547 --> 00:55:47,630
Good, good.
796
00:55:47,631 --> 00:55:48,923
$30 if you want to touch the sides.
797
00:55:48,924 --> 00:55:50,425
Why don't you just go right inside
798
00:55:50,426 --> 00:55:52,177
- and enjoy yourself?
- Okay, thank you.
799
00:55:52,178 --> 00:55:57,069
I think you'll become
a lifetime member, sir.
800
00:55:57,266 --> 00:55:59,100
Don't worry about a thing, Princey.
801
00:55:59,101 --> 00:56:00,768
We're gonna have to going in, come on, baby.
802
00:56:00,769 --> 00:56:04,063
Just leave it to me, leave it to me.
803
00:56:04,064 --> 00:56:05,815
Now, that's alright.
804
00:56:05,816 --> 00:56:08,359
The man will put a
boner on Mother Hubbard.
805
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:09,694
How's it going, Tommy?
806
00:56:09,695 --> 00:56:10,945
Oh, not so good.
807
00:56:10,946 --> 00:56:12,113
Things don't look very
well with you, Sirus.
808
00:56:12,114 --> 00:56:13,281
What's with the prince?
809
00:56:13,282 --> 00:56:18,412
Oh, man, it's like a Great Dane
in a poodle, piss poor.
810
00:56:20,414 --> 00:56:22,123
Sims, Sirus, how are you?
811
00:56:22,124 --> 00:56:23,291
I'm glad you're back.
812
00:56:23,292 --> 00:56:24,542
Hello.
813
00:56:24,543 --> 00:56:26,510
How'd it go?
814
00:56:26,587 --> 00:56:28,254
Nothing happened.
815
00:56:28,255 --> 00:56:29,672
That's all that ever happens.
816
00:56:29,673 --> 00:56:30,798
Nothing ever happens.
817
00:56:30,799 --> 00:56:33,551
First Snow White with the dwarves
818
00:56:33,552 --> 00:56:35,887
and the dwarves I've had up to here
819
00:56:35,888 --> 00:56:41,018
and then the whips and then
the cockamamie cauldron
820
00:56:41,227 --> 00:56:42,977
with the...
821
00:56:42,978 --> 00:56:45,271
You're looking at a desperate person.
822
00:56:45,272 --> 00:56:48,024
Well, Sirus, you're not taking care
823
00:56:48,025 --> 00:56:51,361
of our gentleman caller
very well, are you now?
824
00:56:51,362 --> 00:56:52,612
I got it!
825
00:56:52,613 --> 00:56:55,323
What about the star attraction?
826
00:56:55,324 --> 00:56:58,243
Uh, nobody goes into the Star Room
827
00:56:58,244 --> 00:57:02,913
unless you're talking some heavy money.
828
00:57:03,958 --> 00:57:06,626
15 percent of all I own.
829
00:57:06,627 --> 00:57:08,435
20.
830
00:57:09,797 --> 00:57:12,048
16, and that's my last offer.
831
00:57:12,049 --> 00:57:14,926
Um, let's split the difference.
832
00:57:14,927 --> 00:57:18,262
18 and you got a deal.
833
00:57:22,685 --> 00:57:24,561
Alright.
834
00:57:24,562 --> 00:57:25,645
Where is she?
835
00:57:25,646 --> 00:57:26,938
Oh, wonderful, this way.
836
00:57:26,939 --> 00:57:28,147
Come on, baby.
837
00:57:28,148 --> 00:57:30,607
We'll get up something new.
838
00:57:31,068 --> 00:57:33,903
This is something really special
839
00:57:33,904 --> 00:57:37,430
and by the way, she's a virgin.
840
00:57:37,950 --> 00:57:41,077
♪ Dealer's okay, our fortunes are made ♪
841
00:57:41,078 --> 00:57:46,040
♪ Are going like a virgin and
there'll be a blessed event ♪
842
00:57:46,041 --> 00:57:50,712
♪ The day we get out 18 percent ♪
843
00:57:50,713 --> 00:57:53,798
♪ 'Scuse me, my King, good tidings I bring ♪
844
00:57:53,799 --> 00:57:58,887
♪ A virgin sleeping upstairs
in the highest room in the shoe ♪
845
00:57:58,888 --> 00:58:03,725
♪ And maybe she's the lady for you ♪
846
00:58:03,726 --> 00:58:06,477
♪ Although it's absurd, I just overheard ♪
847
00:58:06,478 --> 00:58:11,608
♪ That Sirus has a cutie
who's a virgin definitely ♪
848
00:58:11,984 --> 00:58:16,571
♪ That means that she's the lady for me ♪
849
00:58:16,572 --> 00:58:21,326
♪ A virgin, I'm gonna have
her checked by a surgeon ♪
850
00:58:21,327 --> 00:58:24,495
♪ To see the type I'd like to submerge in ♪
851
00:58:24,496 --> 00:58:29,375
♪ It's in the shoe,
I'm known as the royal despoiler ♪
852
00:58:29,376 --> 00:58:34,255
♪ A maiden, I'll try to use
the Queen for a trade in ♪
853
00:58:34,256 --> 00:58:37,425
♪ I'd clear the bloody palace and wade in ♪
854
00:58:37,426 --> 00:58:42,590
♪ 'Cause I've been waiting so long ♪
855
00:58:42,890 --> 00:58:45,433
♪ If that girl's asleep,
that means she counts sheep ♪
856
00:58:45,434 --> 00:58:48,728
♪ So surely as a shepherdess
she'd be first weight ♪
857
00:58:48,729 --> 00:58:53,814
♪ Yes, siree and maybe
she'd take over for me ♪
858
00:58:54,944 --> 00:58:58,363
♪ Pardon me boys but wait 'til the noise ♪
859
00:58:58,364 --> 00:59:01,366
♪ Don't hesitate she'll
hardly wait would indicate ♪
860
00:59:01,367 --> 00:59:04,369
♪ The hard to get some seafood mama ♪
861
00:59:04,370 --> 00:59:08,081
♪ So join the horn to climb
aboard the virgin express ♪
862
00:59:08,082 --> 00:59:11,244
♪ Woo woo ♪
863
00:59:11,710 --> 00:59:14,504
♪ I would abscond to some lily pond ♪
864
00:59:14,505 --> 00:59:16,130
♪ I've heard that there's a maiden ♪
865
00:59:16,131 --> 00:59:19,759
♪ Who's been trained amphibiously ♪
866
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:23,846
♪ And maybe she's the lady for me ♪
867
00:59:24,348 --> 00:59:29,143
♪ Que bella, a girl who's
never been with a fella ♪
868
00:59:29,144 --> 00:59:32,730
♪ I tell you, Otto, that's what I smell ♪
869
00:59:32,731 --> 00:59:37,443
♪ A maiden who's so
pure she must be Italian ♪
870
00:59:37,444 --> 00:59:42,156
♪ A beauty and everybody
feels it's his duty ♪
871
00:59:42,157 --> 00:59:45,285
♪ To make it with this virginal cutie ♪
872
00:59:45,286 --> 00:59:50,086
♪ She's been a virgin so long ♪
873
00:59:50,624 --> 00:59:55,086
♪ A virgin, the people in
this shoe need no urgin' ♪
874
00:59:55,087 --> 00:59:58,298
♪ To try it with the best heart surgeon ♪
875
00:59:58,299 --> 01:00:03,219
♪ 'Cause anybody knows
that she's worth a kingdom ♪
876
01:00:03,220 --> 01:00:07,891
♪ A beauty and everybody
feels it's his duty ♪
877
01:00:07,892 --> 01:00:11,144
♪ To make it with this virginal cutie ♪
878
01:00:11,145 --> 01:00:16,036
♪ Who's been a virgin too long ♪
879
01:00:18,235 --> 01:00:20,570
♪ Been a virgin too long ♪
880
01:00:20,571 --> 01:00:23,072
Boy, I can't wait to see her.
881
01:00:23,073 --> 01:00:24,532
But no touching.
882
01:00:24,533 --> 01:00:25,700
You have my royal word.
883
01:00:25,701 --> 01:00:26,868
No, I mean you, Sirus.
884
01:00:26,869 --> 01:00:29,245
Oh, for 18 percent
of the royal exchequer,
885
01:00:29,246 --> 01:00:34,666
I'd give up pussy for life,
if I have to that is.
886
01:00:59,610 --> 01:01:01,945
Are you ready?
887
01:01:01,946 --> 01:01:03,071
I'm ready, I'm ready.
888
01:01:03,072 --> 01:01:06,241
And here we have our star attraction.
889
01:01:06,242 --> 01:01:08,951
Here we go.
890
01:01:12,164 --> 01:01:15,208
Uh,
891
01:01:15,209 --> 01:01:19,045
I want you to know that
I really appreciate this.
892
01:01:19,046 --> 01:01:21,047
You are shy, aren't you?
893
01:01:21,048 --> 01:01:23,757
You know these things take time.
894
01:01:24,927 --> 01:01:26,719
See for a minute,
I thought it was gonna turn out
895
01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:28,805
to be my dream Princess.
896
01:01:28,806 --> 01:01:32,207
Well, I guess you can't hope for too much.
897
01:01:34,019 --> 01:01:36,354
Sirus, I want you to
know how grateful I am,
898
01:01:36,355 --> 01:01:38,898
how much I really appreciate
everything that you've done,
899
01:01:38,899 --> 01:01:41,985
but I know who I want
and as long as any time,
900
01:01:41,986 --> 01:01:46,957
as long as there's a chance,
I'm gonna find her.
901
01:01:49,201 --> 01:01:52,494
Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute!
902
01:01:54,707 --> 01:01:57,500
Just think, a virgin.
903
01:01:57,501 --> 01:02:00,868
I know she's here, but where?
904
01:02:01,046 --> 01:02:04,631
Never fear, my nose is here.
905
01:02:05,176 --> 01:02:06,759
Wait.
906
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:11,264
Simp, you just blew
18 percent of a kingdom!
907
01:02:11,265 --> 01:02:13,349
She's on the top floor.
908
01:02:13,350 --> 01:02:16,810
Top floor!
909
01:02:23,861 --> 01:02:25,445
Going down?
910
01:02:25,446 --> 01:02:27,197
I never go down.
911
01:02:27,198 --> 01:02:29,404
I always go up!
912
01:02:29,533 --> 01:02:31,451
You stay here, I'll go after him.
913
01:02:31,452 --> 01:02:33,658
But, aw, shit.
914
01:02:40,669 --> 01:02:42,754
Sirus, quick!
915
01:02:42,755 --> 01:02:44,172
There's a whole mob coming
out of the elevator.
916
01:02:44,173 --> 01:02:46,007
You get rid of her,
I'll take care of the Prince.
917
01:02:46,008 --> 01:02:48,373
Quick, out the side door!
918
01:02:52,389 --> 01:02:54,515
Woo, virgin!
919
01:02:57,269 --> 01:02:59,077
Virgin?
920
01:02:59,355 --> 01:03:01,163
Virgin?
921
01:03:04,318 --> 01:03:06,604
Innocent girl?
922
01:03:07,696 --> 01:03:11,198
Hey, what's going on here?
923
01:03:13,244 --> 01:03:14,702
This way, Sirus.
924
01:03:14,703 --> 01:03:15,870
My child, where are you?
925
01:03:15,871 --> 01:03:17,997
Where can you be?
926
01:03:17,998 --> 01:03:23,162
Room, empty, barren,
no women, least of all, a virgin.
927
01:03:27,591 --> 01:03:30,385
You said she would be here!
928
01:03:30,386 --> 01:03:34,037
You, you and that nose of yours!
929
01:03:36,267 --> 01:03:37,684
I said the virgin was here.
930
01:03:37,685 --> 01:03:39,644
My nose make no mistake.
931
01:03:39,645 --> 01:03:42,105
You nose makes no mistake?
932
01:03:42,106 --> 01:03:44,915
You nose, sir, stinks!
933
01:03:45,359 --> 01:03:47,443
Eh, no talk that way about my nose.
934
01:03:47,444 --> 01:03:51,656
That's all I got, my nose
and this schmuck over here.
935
01:03:51,657 --> 01:03:52,824
You get me in a lot of trouble.
936
01:03:52,825 --> 01:03:55,994
You're gonna pound beef
for this and half pay.
937
01:03:55,995 --> 01:03:57,245
Wait.
938
01:03:57,246 --> 01:03:58,413
Yes?
939
01:03:58,414 --> 01:04:00,664
Everybody shut up!
940
01:04:02,042 --> 01:04:03,668
I smell something again.
941
01:04:03,669 --> 01:04:05,545
Trust me, King.
942
01:04:05,546 --> 01:04:07,463
The virgin, she went this way.
943
01:04:07,464 --> 01:04:08,673
Follow me, excuse me.
944
01:04:08,674 --> 01:04:10,757
Come on.
945
01:05:01,018 --> 01:05:04,478
Sirus, quickly over here.
946
01:05:17,159 --> 01:05:22,323
Now, I think it's time you
and I had a nice long talk.
947
01:05:26,085 --> 01:05:28,127
I know what your problem is, Prince.
948
01:05:28,128 --> 01:05:29,504
It's that you've never been with a woman.
949
01:05:29,505 --> 01:05:30,672
Listen...
950
01:05:30,673 --> 01:05:31,798
I'm going to show you things
951
01:05:31,799 --> 01:05:34,384
that you can never imagine
in your wildest dry dreams.
952
01:05:34,385 --> 01:05:35,426
I don't have time for this.
953
01:05:35,427 --> 01:05:36,553
It's Wednesday.
954
01:05:36,554 --> 01:05:37,762
At 12:00 I turn into a peasant.
955
01:05:37,763 --> 01:05:39,013
Oh, touch me, put your hands on me.
956
01:05:39,014 --> 01:05:40,098
I don't want to touch you.
957
01:05:40,099 --> 01:05:41,349
Kiss me, kiss me, touch me.
958
01:05:41,350 --> 01:05:42,517
I'll touch you, okay.
959
01:05:42,518 --> 01:05:43,601
Come on, kiss me.
960
01:05:43,602 --> 01:05:44,853
Put your mouth on mine.
961
01:05:44,854 --> 01:05:46,062
Okay.
962
01:05:46,063 --> 01:05:47,105
Oh, I want you.
963
01:05:47,106 --> 01:05:48,356
I can teach you anything
that you want to know.
964
01:05:48,357 --> 01:05:49,440
I can solve your problem.
965
01:05:49,441 --> 01:05:50,525
No, please, I really I have to go.
966
01:05:50,526 --> 01:05:51,985
Fabulous, you're absolutely
wonderful and soft.
967
01:05:51,986 --> 01:05:54,445
- No.
- You're warm.
968
01:05:54,446 --> 01:05:55,780
No, I'm a fake.
969
01:05:55,781 --> 01:05:57,323
You're beautiful, oh, my goodness.
970
01:05:57,324 --> 01:05:58,533
It would never work.
971
01:05:58,534 --> 01:06:00,410
It's been so long.
972
01:06:00,411 --> 01:06:01,578
No, I...
973
01:06:01,579 --> 01:06:02,787
Oh, you just do something to me.
974
01:06:02,788 --> 01:06:03,955
Oh.
975
01:06:03,956 --> 01:06:05,039
Can you feel anything?
976
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:06,207
Uh, sharp pain in the neck.
977
01:06:06,208 --> 01:06:07,375
I think it's probably this.
978
01:06:07,376 --> 01:06:08,543
- It's a whip.
- And your throbbing heart...
979
01:06:08,544 --> 01:06:10,128
Yes, throbbing good throbbing.
980
01:06:10,129 --> 01:06:12,380
Listen, maybe we could
take a rain check on this.
981
01:06:12,381 --> 01:06:14,299
You know, if you're ever
in my kingdom, look me up.
982
01:06:14,300 --> 01:06:15,550
I have a shoe.
983
01:06:15,551 --> 01:06:18,552
It's not as big as this shoe.
984
01:06:18,804 --> 01:06:20,612
Say now.
985
01:06:20,723 --> 01:06:22,140
Hey, sucker.
986
01:06:22,141 --> 01:06:24,100
My name is Sirus.
987
01:06:24,101 --> 01:06:26,519
Sirus what, the sissy?
988
01:06:26,520 --> 01:06:28,104
You know something?
989
01:06:28,105 --> 01:06:30,315
Your face looks kind of familiar.
990
01:06:30,316 --> 01:06:31,858
Where do you come from, boy?
991
01:06:31,859 --> 01:06:33,701
Boy!
992
01:06:33,819 --> 01:06:38,071
Boy lives in the jungle with Tarzan, man.
993
01:07:45,766 --> 01:07:48,351
Listen, I really do, I have to go.
994
01:07:48,352 --> 01:07:50,979
Okay, we're holding, just basic holding.
995
01:07:50,980 --> 01:07:53,397
Okay, now, I'm leaving.
996
01:07:55,150 --> 01:07:56,401
Do you feel me?
997
01:07:56,402 --> 01:07:57,735
- Yes, I feel.
- Do you feel me?
998
01:07:57,736 --> 01:07:58,903
Yes, I feel that, yes.
999
01:07:58,904 --> 01:07:59,988
And then your clothes are coming off?
1000
01:07:59,989 --> 01:08:02,031
No.
1001
01:08:02,032 --> 01:08:03,616
- They are.
- Oh, well,
1002
01:08:03,617 --> 01:08:05,743
we'll just hold them
together like that there
1003
01:08:05,744 --> 01:08:06,911
and that's good.
1004
01:08:06,912 --> 01:08:07,996
Don't be shy.
1005
01:08:07,997 --> 01:08:09,330
You are very shy, aren't you?
1006
01:08:09,331 --> 01:08:10,331
My shy?
1007
01:08:10,332 --> 01:08:11,666
I like it.
1008
01:08:11,667 --> 01:08:12,876
My shy?
1009
01:08:12,877 --> 01:08:14,002
We have plenty of time, you know.
1010
01:08:14,003 --> 01:08:15,169
No, no, time I don't have.
1011
01:08:15,170 --> 01:08:17,046
What's that thing you got down there?
1012
01:08:17,047 --> 01:08:18,756
That's my codpiece.
1013
01:08:18,757 --> 01:08:21,217
You know, you're a funny looking nigga.
1014
01:08:21,218 --> 01:08:22,980
Shit.
1015
01:08:27,975 --> 01:08:31,018
Wait, I smell something.
1016
01:08:39,028 --> 01:08:41,362
My nose say she's on this floor.
1017
01:08:41,363 --> 01:08:43,781
You three check in there
1018
01:08:43,782 --> 01:08:46,432
and I'll go in here.
1019
01:08:47,494 --> 01:08:49,953
Sure, boss.
1020
01:09:01,050 --> 01:09:02,383
Ah!
1021
01:09:02,384 --> 01:09:05,053
What's the matter, sire?
1022
01:09:05,054 --> 01:09:07,704
Prince, Prince Frog!
1023
01:09:28,077 --> 01:09:29,327
Can you feel me?
1024
01:09:29,328 --> 01:09:30,828
Yeah, I can feel you, yes,
1025
01:09:30,829 --> 01:09:32,121
but I really, I have to go now.
1026
01:09:32,122 --> 01:09:33,122
Oh, that's good, that's good.
1027
01:09:33,123 --> 01:09:34,249
Yes.
1028
01:09:34,250 --> 01:09:36,000
Yes, next to me, yes.
1029
01:09:36,001 --> 01:09:37,669
- No, wait!
- Next to me.
1030
01:09:37,670 --> 01:09:38,920
Oh, no, my Prince darling, no!
1031
01:09:38,921 --> 01:09:43,800
Wait, wait, wait!
1032
01:09:43,801 --> 01:09:46,176
Come back here!
1033
01:09:49,515 --> 01:09:50,890
Where is she?
1034
01:09:50,891 --> 01:09:51,891
Aw, shut up.
1035
01:09:51,892 --> 01:09:54,185
Come over, I want to talk to you.
1036
01:09:54,186 --> 01:09:57,272
I had him so close he was
almost inside of my nostrils,
1037
01:09:57,273 --> 01:09:58,773
I smell him so good.
1038
01:09:58,774 --> 01:10:00,275
You, I gotta wait for you all the time.
1039
01:10:00,276 --> 01:10:01,943
You louse me up all the time.
1040
01:10:01,944 --> 01:10:04,279
You like to have too much fun,
you fall, you drink,
1041
01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:06,531
you under the girls' skirts
and play with the squeezebox.
1042
01:10:06,532 --> 01:10:08,449
I don't know what you do no more.
1043
01:10:08,450 --> 01:10:09,909
You louse me up.
1044
01:10:09,910 --> 01:10:11,160
You're always putting me down.
1045
01:10:11,161 --> 01:10:13,496
You put me down,
you put me down, all the time!
1046
01:10:13,497 --> 01:10:15,206
I put you down?
1047
01:10:15,207 --> 01:10:17,375
When I met you, you was down.
1048
01:10:17,376 --> 01:10:19,168
I'm gonna tell you something.
1049
01:10:19,169 --> 01:10:20,795
This is not the only thing making me mad.
1050
01:10:20,796 --> 01:10:21,963
Let's not talk about it!
1051
01:10:21,964 --> 01:10:23,006
Let's do it!
1052
01:10:23,007 --> 01:10:24,549
En guard, come on!
1053
01:10:24,550 --> 01:10:29,680
En guard, en guard, en guard.
1054
01:10:30,806 --> 01:10:32,931
You son of a bitch.
1055
01:10:33,309 --> 01:10:34,642
I kill you, I kill you!
1056
01:10:34,643 --> 01:10:36,519
What are you doing?
1057
01:10:36,520 --> 01:10:39,314
Will you leave that man alone?
1058
01:10:39,315 --> 01:10:41,149
What are you doing here?
1059
01:10:41,150 --> 01:10:42,275
It's not like it looks.
1060
01:10:42,276 --> 01:10:44,401
- I was giving little massage...
- Massage?
1061
01:10:55,539 --> 01:10:58,332
Wait 'til I catch you!
1062
01:11:00,711 --> 01:11:02,920
I hear something.
1063
01:11:06,175 --> 01:11:10,782
Oh, I see you!
1064
01:11:12,848 --> 01:11:15,599
Come with me, come on!
1065
01:11:20,439 --> 01:11:22,247
Ah, ha!
1066
01:11:51,971 --> 01:11:53,471
Sirus!
1067
01:11:53,472 --> 01:11:56,306
It's my dream Princess.
1068
01:12:06,861 --> 01:12:11,149
Hey, Gussie.
1069
01:12:15,494 --> 01:12:18,705
Look what I have for you.
1070
01:12:18,706 --> 01:12:20,456
- A prince.
- I know.
1071
01:12:20,457 --> 01:12:22,500
I've been waiting for him to kiss me.
1072
01:12:22,501 --> 01:12:24,335
What took you so long?
1073
01:12:24,336 --> 01:12:25,587
Not so fast.
1074
01:12:25,588 --> 01:12:28,381
You have to turn around first, you know.
1075
01:12:28,382 --> 01:12:32,010
Okay.
1076
01:12:32,011 --> 01:12:35,430
Oh, you've got to do better than that.
1077
01:12:35,431 --> 01:12:38,001
I don't know how.
1078
01:12:41,478 --> 01:12:43,770
I'll show you how.
1079
01:13:20,017 --> 01:13:24,146
I waited such a long time to find you.
1080
01:15:14,548 --> 01:15:16,257
Where's the virgin?
1081
01:15:16,258 --> 01:15:17,842
She's in there.
1082
01:15:17,843 --> 01:15:20,720
But wait, you can't go in there!
1083
01:15:20,721 --> 01:15:24,848
Oh, no.
1084
01:15:44,203 --> 01:15:46,412
It's probably the last
virgin in Fairy Land
1085
01:15:46,413 --> 01:15:48,494
and I blew it.
1086
01:15:54,547 --> 01:15:56,214
Well, listen, thank you very much.
1087
01:15:56,215 --> 01:15:57,507
We have to go now.
1088
01:15:57,508 --> 01:15:59,300
Really.
1089
01:15:59,301 --> 01:16:00,343
Now, you remember everything I told you.
1090
01:16:00,344 --> 01:16:01,803
- Alright.
- Okay, goodbye!
1091
01:16:01,804 --> 01:16:03,012
Is everything okay now?
1092
01:16:03,013 --> 01:16:04,888
Yeah!
1093
01:16:10,437 --> 01:16:13,280
- Bye!
- See you later!
1094
01:16:13,691 --> 01:16:15,983
Have fun!
1095
01:16:21,949 --> 01:16:23,757
Have fun!
1096
01:16:49,435 --> 01:16:51,102
Is the Prince in?
1097
01:16:51,103 --> 01:16:52,395
Always.
1098
01:16:52,396 --> 01:16:54,105
Is he up?
1099
01:16:54,106 --> 01:16:55,565
Constantly.
1100
01:16:55,566 --> 01:16:57,525
May we see him?
1101
01:16:57,526 --> 01:17:00,277
Doesn't look good.
1102
01:17:58,212 --> 01:18:00,099
Hi, there.
1103
01:18:00,464 --> 01:18:04,300
Now, wasn't that a wonderful
motion picture, friends?
1104
01:18:04,301 --> 01:18:08,221
Wasn't it marvelous when
the Prince met the love
1105
01:18:08,222 --> 01:18:11,140
of his life and by golly, you know,
1106
01:18:11,141 --> 01:18:13,184
they lived happily ever after.
1107
01:18:13,185 --> 01:18:15,770
Now, we want you to go home,
tell your friends
1108
01:18:15,771 --> 01:18:19,399
and neighbors about this warm
and wonderful motion picture.
1109
01:18:19,400 --> 01:18:21,568
It's a family picture, friends.
1110
01:18:21,569 --> 01:18:24,654
Mom and the kids can come
for the music and dancing
1111
01:18:24,655 --> 01:18:26,781
and Dad will enjoy the meat.
1112
01:18:26,782 --> 01:18:29,909
So you go and tell your friends
about this wonderful film
1113
01:18:29,910 --> 01:18:32,579
and to show their thanks and appreciation
1114
01:18:32,580 --> 01:18:35,164
of your attendance at this theater today,
1115
01:18:35,165 --> 01:18:38,126
the producers have asked me
to make available to you
1116
01:18:38,127 --> 01:18:41,337
a wonderful three piece
set of merchandise,
1117
01:18:41,338 --> 01:18:44,132
available only to our patrons.
1118
01:18:44,133 --> 01:18:46,885
I'm going to show you
now that three piece set
1119
01:18:46,886 --> 01:18:48,887
I think you're going to want to own.
1120
01:18:48,888 --> 01:18:52,140
Item number one, a one ounce jar
1121
01:18:52,141 --> 01:18:57,271
of Aunt La Voh's love potion,
salve, unguent, and balm.
1122
01:18:57,438 --> 01:19:00,690
By golly, put a few drops of
that in a loved one's beverage,
1123
01:19:00,691 --> 01:19:03,151
she'll probably be on the gear shift
1124
01:19:03,152 --> 01:19:04,944
if you know what I mean.
1125
01:19:04,945 --> 01:19:07,864
Put that on any part of your body,
private or public,
1126
01:19:07,865 --> 01:19:10,867
and the sensations you
get you'll thank me for
1127
01:19:10,868 --> 01:19:12,535
the longest day you live.
1128
01:19:12,536 --> 01:19:14,787
Let's call that one item number one.
1129
01:19:14,788 --> 01:19:17,074
Item number two,
1130
01:19:19,418 --> 01:19:24,025
the official Fairytale
Little Bo Peep sheep.
1131
01:19:25,966 --> 01:19:28,551
This sheep is designed
for the single gent,
1132
01:19:28,552 --> 01:19:31,679
the lonely fellow,
if you know what I mean,
1133
01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:33,932
and what you do with that in the privacy
1134
01:19:33,933 --> 01:19:37,352
of your own home is
nobody's business but your own.
1135
01:19:37,353 --> 01:19:39,646
Let's call that one item number two.
1136
01:19:39,647 --> 01:19:43,969
Item number three, isn't this wonderful?
1137
01:19:44,318 --> 01:19:48,029
That's your official codpiece as worn
1138
01:19:48,030 --> 01:19:51,115
by Sirus in this motion picture.
1139
01:19:51,116 --> 01:19:53,660
Friends, that is an amazing codpiece.
1140
01:19:53,661 --> 01:19:57,288
It's ideal for dining
and disco, desk or den.
1141
01:19:57,289 --> 01:19:59,833
By golly, just wear that
codpiece on the beach
1142
01:19:59,834 --> 01:20:03,169
or while dancing and
the girls will love it, too.
1143
01:20:03,170 --> 01:20:04,420
They'll say to you,
1144
01:20:04,421 --> 01:20:06,464
"By golly, you are a lovely man.
1145
01:20:06,465 --> 01:20:09,217
"That is a handsome member indeed."
1146
01:20:09,218 --> 01:20:10,760
You'll thank me for that.
1147
01:20:10,761 --> 01:20:12,303
That's something everyone wants.
1148
01:20:12,304 --> 01:20:15,473
It's something no young fellow
should be without, by golly.
1149
01:20:15,474 --> 01:20:20,686
Friends, I want to thank you
the longest day you live.
85202
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Kazakh
Khmer
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Urdu
Uzbek
