subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Dont.Talk.To.Irene.2017.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional) Download

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:00:18,979 --> 00:00:23,712 Subtitles by explosiveskull 3 00:00:23,714 --> 00:00:25,747 They say the key to success 4 00:00:25,749 --> 00:00:27,683 is to look into the future 5 00:00:27,685 --> 00:00:30,688 and visualize what you want to become. 6 00:00:32,556 --> 00:00:35,490 But some creatures are perfect just the way they are, 7 00:00:35,492 --> 00:00:37,091 even if no one knows it yet. 8 00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:45,900 Your name is Veronica. 9 00:00:45,902 --> 00:00:47,938 It's nice to meet you, Veronica. 10 00:00:50,106 --> 00:00:52,341 Is that Irene in the dumpster? 11 00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:54,076 She's so weird. 12 00:00:54,078 --> 00:00:56,043 This is Irene Willis. 13 00:00:56,045 --> 00:00:58,579 She's fifteen years old and lives in Canada, 14 00:00:58,581 --> 00:01:01,382 which is the country Thelma and Louise would be living in 15 00:01:01,384 --> 00:01:03,820 if they decided to drive North. 16 00:01:04,121 --> 00:01:06,954 Irene Willis lives in Parc, Ontario, 17 00:01:06,956 --> 00:01:09,924 the most insignificant geographical location 18 00:01:09,926 --> 00:01:11,992 in North America. 19 00:01:11,994 --> 00:01:14,462 Just one hour north of Toronto. 20 00:01:14,464 --> 00:01:16,864 Close enough to know what you're missing, 21 00:01:16,866 --> 00:01:19,735 but far enough to never get there. 22 00:01:19,737 --> 00:01:22,570 It was no fluke that the local high school was built 23 00:01:22,572 --> 00:01:25,140 right next to the local retirement home, 24 00:01:25,142 --> 00:01:28,876 which was built right beside the local funeral home. 25 00:01:28,878 --> 00:01:32,416 That's because the people who live in Parc are lazy. 26 00:01:33,783 --> 00:01:35,917 I wish I could be like you. 27 00:01:35,919 --> 00:01:38,789 You get to grow wings and fly away from this town. 28 00:01:39,990 --> 00:01:43,024 Parc, Ontario is also the 'shitty plaza' capital 29 00:01:43,026 --> 00:01:44,893 of the world. 30 00:01:44,895 --> 00:01:48,563 If you want to find a place where no one would want to shop, 31 00:01:48,565 --> 00:01:50,968 you'll find it right here in town. 32 00:01:53,604 --> 00:01:57,542 Veronica, girls like us need to stick together. 33 00:02:00,176 --> 00:02:01,779 Flush it. 34 00:02:03,012 --> 00:02:05,045 Goodbye, Veronica. 35 00:02:08,551 --> 00:02:11,452 Irene's mom, Lydia, is the type of mother 36 00:02:11,454 --> 00:02:14,956 who makes her daughter murder her only friend. 37 00:02:14,958 --> 00:02:16,558 But she wasn't always like this. 38 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,160 Kick! Kick! 39 00:02:18,162 --> 00:02:21,563 Sixteen years ago, Lydia Willis was captain of the cheer squad 40 00:02:21,565 --> 00:02:26,066 at Parc High, but it got her into a bit of trouble. 41 00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:29,070 One little incident involving a lack of birth control 42 00:02:29,072 --> 00:02:31,973 and nine months later, little Irene was pushed out 43 00:02:31,975 --> 00:02:34,809 into a world that... it would seem... 44 00:02:34,811 --> 00:02:37,479 would never accept her. 45 00:02:37,481 --> 00:02:40,849 Lydia knows first hand how mean kids can be, 46 00:02:40,851 --> 00:02:44,785 so she takes overprotection to the next level. 47 00:02:44,787 --> 00:02:47,122 Irene is not allowed to watch T.V., 48 00:02:47,124 --> 00:02:50,661 surf the internet, or even own a cell phone. 49 00:02:51,995 --> 00:02:56,231 This girl isn't just unpopular, she's the biggest loser in all 50 00:02:56,233 --> 00:02:59,201 of Parc's teenaged history. 51 00:02:59,203 --> 00:03:01,769 And 5, 6, 7, 8. 52 00:03:01,771 --> 00:03:05,506 Step-touch, step-touch. And up, and up. 53 00:03:05,508 --> 00:03:06,941 But this year at school, 54 00:03:06,943 --> 00:03:08,677 things are going to be different. 55 00:03:08,679 --> 00:03:11,245 Shake left, again. Step-touch, step... 56 00:03:11,247 --> 00:03:12,682 Screw Mom. 57 00:03:15,218 --> 00:03:17,918 I'm gonna be a cheerleader! 58 00:05:13,837 --> 00:05:15,706 I'm gonna do it, Geena. 59 00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:17,506 I'm gonna be a cheerleader! 60 00:05:17,508 --> 00:05:20,040 You know what else you're going to do this year? 61 00:05:20,042 --> 00:05:20,842 What? 62 00:05:20,844 --> 00:05:21,843 You're going to date a jock. 63 00:05:21,845 --> 00:05:23,244 But the only girls who date jocks 64 00:05:23,246 --> 00:05:25,013 are popular and in style. 65 00:05:25,015 --> 00:05:26,013 That's not me. 66 00:05:26,015 --> 00:05:27,381 You're a trailblazer 67 00:05:27,383 --> 00:05:29,818 and trailblazers have never been in style. 68 00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:32,953 They walk their own path and then others follow. 69 00:05:32,955 --> 00:05:36,191 When I was your age, I was so self-conscious about my height. 70 00:05:36,193 --> 00:05:37,958 I wanted to hide. 71 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,028 Good thing I didn't hide, right? 72 00:05:40,030 --> 00:05:40,862 Yeah. 73 00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:45,766 In the world Irene exists in, 74 00:05:45,768 --> 00:05:48,670 I, Geena Davis, am God. 75 00:05:48,672 --> 00:05:52,107 And as her god, I have only one commandment: 76 00:05:52,109 --> 00:05:55,112 Thou shalt not quit! 77 00:07:13,256 --> 00:07:15,090 Good moring, Parc Secondary, 78 00:07:15,092 --> 00:07:16,824 This is Principal Firestone 79 00:07:16,826 --> 00:07:19,427 and these are your morning announcements: 80 00:07:19,429 --> 00:07:21,362 Welcome to the first day of school. 81 00:07:21,364 --> 00:07:24,669 New students, please check in to the auditorium... 82 00:07:26,369 --> 00:07:27,837 What is she wearing? 83 00:07:35,044 --> 00:07:36,847 What the hell is that? 84 00:07:38,347 --> 00:07:40,217 Are you a boy or a girl? 85 00:07:41,917 --> 00:07:44,384 If gender were a country, I'd be Switzerland. 86 00:07:44,386 --> 00:07:45,285 Oh. 87 00:07:45,287 --> 00:07:46,855 Do you ski? 88 00:07:51,061 --> 00:07:53,261 This town is pretty stale, isn't it? 89 00:07:53,263 --> 00:07:56,263 Yeah, flies lay their eggs in it so their maggot children 90 00:07:56,265 --> 00:07:58,299 can fly away and have a better future. 91 00:07:58,301 --> 00:08:02,136 Okay, you're insane... but I love your statement. 92 00:08:02,138 --> 00:08:04,239 Uh-what statement? 93 00:08:04,241 --> 00:08:07,174 Your anti-establishment cheerleading statement! 94 00:08:07,176 --> 00:08:09,177 It's so subversive and punk. 95 00:08:10,147 --> 00:08:11,812 I'm not punk. 96 00:08:11,814 --> 00:08:15,215 You as a cheerleader is punk. 97 00:08:15,217 --> 00:08:16,484 You realize that, right? 98 00:08:16,486 --> 00:08:19,254 No, I'm a regular cheerleader. 99 00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,256 My name is Tesh, by the way. 100 00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:28,896 Ah, okay. 101 00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:39,006 Okay, cheerleaders, listen up. 102 00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:41,376 We have to focus on cheers this year. 103 00:08:41,378 --> 00:08:44,478 I know you guys are single and ditch the homework. 104 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,048 We are atheltes, we have to take ourselves seriously, 105 00:08:47,050 --> 00:08:48,382 okay you guys? 106 00:08:48,384 --> 00:08:50,285 Okay, come on. 107 00:08:50,287 --> 00:08:52,286 Now lose the poms, let's try a pyramid. 108 00:08:52,288 --> 00:08:54,389 Girls, you just watch, okay? 109 00:08:54,391 --> 00:08:55,823 This is how it's done. 110 00:08:55,825 --> 00:08:57,825 Whatever you do, don't let your hands slip. 111 00:08:57,827 --> 00:08:59,026 A cheerleader two years ago 112 00:08:59,028 --> 00:09:00,461 got accidentally vaginally penetrated. 113 00:09:00,463 --> 00:09:02,863 Oh my god, that must've hurt like a bitch! 114 00:09:02,865 --> 00:09:03,865 No, she liked it. 115 00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:05,000 So, please, be careful. 116 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,068 The last thing you need is to inadvertently discover 117 00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:09,069 that you like being fisted by another cheerleader 118 00:09:09,071 --> 00:09:10,872 during your last year of high school. 119 00:09:10,874 --> 00:09:12,143 Like I did. 120 00:09:15,244 --> 00:09:16,477 Steady. 121 00:09:16,479 --> 00:09:17,578 Strong arms, strong arms! 122 00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:18,413 Steady! 123 00:09:20,550 --> 00:09:24,321 Uh, is everyone's vagina okay? 124 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,920 What happened to your uniform? 125 00:09:26,922 --> 00:09:28,589 Why'd you cover it up? 126 00:09:28,591 --> 00:09:31,458 I... just, um... 127 00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,328 Well, it's amazing. 128 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,929 I think it's really commendable for a girl like you 129 00:09:35,931 --> 00:09:38,268 to not worry about embarrassing herself. 130 00:09:41,003 --> 00:09:42,136 What are you looking at? 131 00:09:42,138 --> 00:09:44,238 They're skipping the first day of school 132 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,875 to practice a cheer. 133 00:09:46,508 --> 00:09:48,211 I wish I could do that. 134 00:09:49,079 --> 00:09:50,578 They're all bitches. 135 00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:53,514 Maybe they're just ambitious and misunderstood. 136 00:09:53,516 --> 00:09:55,482 Like most bitches. 137 00:09:55,484 --> 00:09:58,086 Do you want to try out for cheer squad? 138 00:09:58,088 --> 00:10:00,154 I have an in if you want it. 139 00:10:00,156 --> 00:10:01,521 It's today though. 140 00:10:01,523 --> 00:10:04,058 It's sort of an initiation thing. 141 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,559 What do I have to do? 142 00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:06,493 Today. 143 00:10:06,495 --> 00:10:08,128 After school. 144 00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:10,298 Boys' Locker room. 145 00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,900 Boys' locker room? 146 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:12,633 Don't worry. 147 00:10:12,635 --> 00:10:15,336 It's just a... DNA thing. 148 00:10:17,474 --> 00:10:18,906 I'll be there. 149 00:10:18,908 --> 00:10:20,474 And take off the hoodie. 150 00:10:20,476 --> 00:10:22,612 You should be proud of who you are. 151 00:10:30,519 --> 00:10:32,620 I'm totally rocking a boner right now. 152 00:10:32,622 --> 00:10:33,554 Ugh! 153 00:10:33,556 --> 00:10:34,955 I don't do your boner. 154 00:10:34,957 --> 00:10:35,555 You know that. 155 00:10:35,557 --> 00:10:37,592 I have standards. 156 00:10:37,594 --> 00:10:39,196 But I'm your boyfriend. 157 00:10:40,397 --> 00:10:41,063 Fine. 158 00:10:41,065 --> 00:10:43,030 Whip it out, let me see. 159 00:10:43,032 --> 00:10:46,133 Is it a polish sausage or a veggie dog? 160 00:10:46,135 --> 00:10:48,104 It's a Polish sausage. 161 00:10:49,172 --> 00:10:51,139 Oh, I forgot. 162 00:10:51,141 --> 00:10:52,306 I'm a vegetarian. 163 00:10:52,909 --> 00:10:54,944 Okay, what's the plan? 164 00:10:55,678 --> 00:10:58,512 If you wanna be a cheerleader, you need to familiarize yourself 165 00:10:58,514 --> 00:11:01,315 with getting the DNA of all the boys in our school 166 00:11:01,317 --> 00:11:04,285 in your mouth. 167 00:11:04,287 --> 00:11:06,253 Where are the cheerleaders? 168 00:11:06,255 --> 00:11:08,289 They don't operate on this level. 169 00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:11,325 This is to weed out all the ones without cheer spirit. 170 00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:14,027 Does anyone have any objections to me taping this? 171 00:11:14,029 --> 00:11:17,231 The squad's requested a recording. 172 00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:18,466 No? 173 00:11:18,468 --> 00:11:21,703 Robbie, start recording. 174 00:11:21,705 --> 00:11:25,305 Today, to prove you have cheer spirit, 175 00:11:25,307 --> 00:11:28,979 you will lick the shower floor. 176 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,045 But we could get athlete's foot! 177 00:11:32,047 --> 00:11:33,314 In our mouths. 178 00:11:33,316 --> 00:11:35,415 Athlete's foot is just fungus. 179 00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:38,319 Does anyone here really hate mushrooms that much? 180 00:11:38,321 --> 00:11:40,387 I like shiitake mushrooms, actually. 181 00:11:40,389 --> 00:11:42,191 They're really good in Asian soups. 182 00:11:44,527 --> 00:11:48,161 Okay, so who's gonna go first? 183 00:11:48,163 --> 00:11:49,296 I'll have you know 184 00:11:49,298 --> 00:11:51,501 the first girl to volunteer last year made squad. 185 00:11:53,635 --> 00:11:55,737 I'll go first. 186 00:12:08,350 --> 00:12:11,785 I don't think I like the taste of DNA. 187 00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:22,063 Oh my god. 188 00:12:22,065 --> 00:12:23,765 That was so good, did you get it? 189 00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:24,531 Yeah. 190 00:12:39,516 --> 00:12:40,548 What are you doing? 191 00:12:42,451 --> 00:12:45,685 Uh-disinfecting! 192 00:12:45,687 --> 00:12:48,622 Okay, we do not tolerate troublemakers 193 00:12:48,624 --> 00:12:50,091 here at Parc Secondary. 194 00:12:50,093 --> 00:12:51,726 I'm not a troublemaker, I'm a victim! 195 00:12:51,728 --> 00:12:53,227 No, you're a drunk! 196 00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:54,362 He's a drunk! 197 00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:55,796 I'm drunk, not a drunk. 198 00:12:55,798 --> 00:12:57,397 It's a verb, not a noun. 199 00:12:57,399 --> 00:12:58,366 Okay, you know what? 200 00:12:58,368 --> 00:13:00,601 After this here, we're going to have a talk 201 00:13:00,603 --> 00:13:02,170 about you being fired. 202 00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,237 Okay. 203 00:13:04,239 --> 00:13:06,540 I've called all of your parents. 204 00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:09,209 You'll be suspended for two weeks. 205 00:13:09,211 --> 00:13:11,445 All of you troublemakers! 206 00:13:12,181 --> 00:13:13,814 Oh, you think that's funny? 207 00:13:13,816 --> 00:13:17,184 We have a special program for suspended students. 208 00:13:17,186 --> 00:13:19,152 Community service. 209 00:13:19,154 --> 00:13:21,255 I hope you like old people. 210 00:13:21,257 --> 00:13:21,689 What? 211 00:13:21,691 --> 00:13:22,223 Ugh. 212 00:13:22,225 --> 00:13:23,760 Old people? 213 00:13:24,827 --> 00:13:26,196 Shit. 214 00:13:26,863 --> 00:13:28,628 Oh, shit, Mom! 215 00:13:49,551 --> 00:13:52,219 You have one new message. 216 00:13:52,221 --> 00:13:53,354 Hi, there, Ms. Willis. 217 00:13:53,356 --> 00:13:56,457 This is Principal Firestone calling from Parc Secondary. 218 00:13:56,459 --> 00:13:57,357 We're just calling... 219 00:13:57,359 --> 00:13:58,859 Deleted. 220 00:13:58,861 --> 00:13:59,829 Hey! 221 00:14:00,830 --> 00:14:02,132 What are you wearing? 222 00:14:02,898 --> 00:14:03,767 Nothing. 223 00:14:05,634 --> 00:14:07,203 Open the hoodie. 224 00:14:11,407 --> 00:14:12,573 Absolutely not! 225 00:14:12,575 --> 00:14:14,775 No, you will not be a cheerleader. 226 00:14:14,777 --> 00:14:15,843 Why? You were. 227 00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,612 You're not cheerleader material like I was, okay. 228 00:14:18,614 --> 00:14:21,518 You need to be aware of your limitations. 229 00:14:24,553 --> 00:14:26,654 They made fun of you, didn't they? 230 00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:27,322 No. 231 00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:28,856 They asked me to join squad. 232 00:14:28,858 --> 00:14:30,857 Do I look like an idiot to you? 233 00:14:30,859 --> 00:14:31,492 Sometimes. 234 00:14:31,494 --> 00:14:32,226 Irene! 235 00:14:32,228 --> 00:14:33,763 Actually, most of the time. 236 00:14:35,264 --> 00:14:38,299 I just don't want you to embarrass yourself, okay? 237 00:14:38,301 --> 00:14:39,900 'Cause you're at the age now when, 238 00:14:39,902 --> 00:14:43,538 you know, bad experiences they... stay with you. 239 00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:45,372 Why didn't you just ask your boyfriend 240 00:14:45,374 --> 00:14:46,873 to pull out before he finished?! 241 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,675 That's disgusting! 242 00:14:48,677 --> 00:14:49,676 I'm disgusting? 243 00:14:49,678 --> 00:14:51,511 I'm not the one who had nasty unprotected sex 244 00:14:51,513 --> 00:14:53,783 in the back of a pick up truck. 245 00:14:54,816 --> 00:14:56,784 It was a Honda Civic! 246 00:15:50,273 --> 00:15:51,274 Hi. 247 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,641 Hi. 248 00:15:53,643 --> 00:15:59,646 So I've been thinking... um, maybe there is another 249 00:15:59,648 --> 00:16:03,918 school program that would be more appropriate for you. 250 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,222 Like what? 251 00:16:05,654 --> 00:16:07,390 Chess Club. 252 00:16:08,023 --> 00:16:08,923 Hmm? 253 00:16:08,925 --> 00:16:11,025 I haven't played chess in my entire life. 254 00:16:11,027 --> 00:16:12,329 You can learn. 255 00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:16,963 Okay, fine, how about stamp collecting? 256 00:16:16,965 --> 00:16:18,833 Stamp collecting? 257 00:16:18,835 --> 00:16:21,935 Okay-uh, bicycle club. 258 00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,271 Bicycles? 259 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,039 That's not even a real club, Mom. 260 00:16:25,707 --> 00:16:27,440 Debate team. 261 00:16:27,442 --> 00:16:28,946 You love to fight with me! 262 00:16:29,878 --> 00:16:31,679 Why fight when I can cheer? 263 00:16:31,681 --> 00:16:33,546 Oh, god. 264 00:16:33,548 --> 00:16:36,483 Irene, do you have to have a comeback for everything? 265 00:16:36,485 --> 00:16:37,918 Yes. 266 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,624 Well, then, goodnight. 267 00:16:45,394 --> 00:16:47,795 Today is the worst day in the history of days. 268 00:16:47,797 --> 00:16:50,631 Think of it this way, when you hit rock bottom 269 00:16:50,633 --> 00:16:52,433 on your first day of high school, 270 00:16:52,435 --> 00:16:54,468 you have no place to go, but up! 271 00:16:54,470 --> 00:16:56,503 I wish you were my mother, Geena Davis. 272 00:16:56,505 --> 00:16:57,905 I'm your God. 273 00:16:57,907 --> 00:16:59,774 Isn't that enough? 274 00:16:59,776 --> 00:17:00,641 No. 275 00:17:00,643 --> 00:17:01,775 God damnit. 276 00:17:01,777 --> 00:17:03,647 Teenagers are never satisfied. 277 00:17:39,982 --> 00:17:42,383 I can't pick you up until 4:30. 278 00:17:42,385 --> 00:17:44,385 Fine. Whatever. 279 00:17:44,387 --> 00:17:46,486 What's this eye make up you have on? 280 00:17:46,488 --> 00:17:47,422 It's new. 281 00:17:47,424 --> 00:17:50,523 It makes you look like a Slovakian hooker. 282 00:17:50,525 --> 00:17:53,793 You look at me when I'm talking to you! 283 00:17:53,795 --> 00:17:55,032 Get out of my car. 284 00:17:58,834 --> 00:18:01,469 I don't think you look like a Slovakian hooker, 285 00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,069 but I've never really been to Slovakia. 286 00:18:03,071 --> 00:18:04,105 Don't talk to me. 287 00:18:04,107 --> 00:18:05,705 Does your mom know you're suspended? 288 00:18:05,707 --> 00:18:07,707 My Mom's not very nice to me either, 289 00:18:07,709 --> 00:18:09,710 so at least we have something in common! 290 00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:12,146 Do you want to walk to the retirement home together? 291 00:18:12,148 --> 00:18:13,313 You're worse than rabies. 292 00:18:13,315 --> 00:18:16,916 Actually, rabies is curable with antibiotics and rest. 293 00:18:16,918 --> 00:18:18,418 Not that bad! 294 00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:19,819 You should be a lesbian. 295 00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:22,490 Only lesbians are into weird fat chicks. 296 00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,824 I'll look into it! 297 00:18:23,826 --> 00:18:25,526 Thanks for the tip. 298 00:18:27,696 --> 00:18:28,928 Okay, kids, 299 00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:31,632 welcome to Mapleview Retirement Home. 300 00:18:31,634 --> 00:18:33,466 A place to relax and enjoy 301 00:18:33,468 --> 00:18:35,435 your final years after retirement. 302 00:18:35,437 --> 00:18:37,104 Screw ups, follow me. 303 00:18:37,106 --> 00:18:38,271 Screw up? 304 00:18:38,273 --> 00:18:40,774 I'm not the one employed by a retirement home, girlfriend. 305 00:18:40,776 --> 00:18:42,409 Don't make me slap you. 306 00:18:42,411 --> 00:18:44,011 I have no qualms about slapping teenagers. 307 00:18:44,013 --> 00:18:44,677 It's legal. 308 00:18:44,679 --> 00:18:45,578 I checked. 309 00:18:46,682 --> 00:18:48,115 Were we supposed to see that? 310 00:18:48,117 --> 00:18:49,482 Yes. 311 00:18:49,484 --> 00:18:50,684 For the next two weeks, 312 00:18:50,686 --> 00:18:53,988 I want you to report promptly to me at 9am. 313 00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:56,190 When you hear the bell next door at 3:30, 314 00:18:56,192 --> 00:18:57,992 that is your cue to go. 315 00:18:57,994 --> 00:19:00,493 But for those six and a half hours, 316 00:19:00,495 --> 00:19:03,664 your juvenile asses are mine. 317 00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:05,866 That is not at all inappropriate... 318 00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:07,971 Oh, here comes trouble. 319 00:19:09,438 --> 00:19:11,739 Can I get another Vicodin, maybe two? 320 00:19:11,741 --> 00:19:12,940 Ruth, you know the rules. 321 00:19:12,942 --> 00:19:15,142 I gave you one when you first got up. 322 00:19:15,144 --> 00:19:17,544 You're going to have to wait another 4 hours. 323 00:19:17,546 --> 00:19:19,146 But I'll be dead in four hours! 324 00:19:19,148 --> 00:19:21,618 Well, we'll deal with it! 325 00:19:22,918 --> 00:19:23,716 Got any pot? 326 00:19:23,718 --> 00:19:24,217 Ruth! 327 00:19:24,219 --> 00:19:25,919 Go to your room! 328 00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:26,922 Go. 329 00:19:28,657 --> 00:19:31,157 No one takes any risks anymore. 330 00:19:31,159 --> 00:19:35,930 I love my life. I love my life. I love my life. Love my life. 331 00:19:35,932 --> 00:19:37,932 I love my life. I love my life. 332 00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:42,770 I see. 333 00:19:42,772 --> 00:19:44,972 This is the waiting room for the funeral home. 334 00:19:44,974 --> 00:19:45,973 Shut up. 335 00:19:45,975 --> 00:19:48,975 Okay, these are your supplies for your chore: 336 00:19:48,977 --> 00:19:51,180 removing this hideous wallpaper. 337 00:19:53,182 --> 00:19:54,117 Oh. 338 00:20:07,263 --> 00:20:09,262 I can't stand the smell in here! 339 00:20:09,264 --> 00:20:12,199 It smells like rotten tomatoes meets tooth decay. 340 00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:15,569 Hundreds audition, but only one will win. 341 00:20:15,571 --> 00:20:18,271 Total Talent Showdown. 342 00:20:18,273 --> 00:20:20,107 Who's gonna make it to round 7? 343 00:20:20,109 --> 00:20:21,975 Who's gonna get cut? 344 00:20:21,977 --> 00:20:24,980 Find out after this commercial break. 345 00:20:30,151 --> 00:20:32,685 Is this what you do all day? 346 00:20:32,687 --> 00:20:34,888 What else is there to do? 347 00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:36,857 You could go outside? 348 00:20:36,859 --> 00:20:38,526 Or go to the mall? 349 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,230 The bus driver quit, dear. 350 00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:44,898 I think I want to die before I get old. 351 00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:46,068 No offense. 352 00:20:58,147 --> 00:20:59,646 You're terrifying. 353 00:20:59,648 --> 00:21:00,649 Thank you. 354 00:21:02,551 --> 00:21:03,585 I didn't actually mean that. 355 00:21:03,587 --> 00:21:05,752 Have you ever noticed that really scary people 356 00:21:05,754 --> 00:21:08,021 like serial killers always look normal? 357 00:21:08,023 --> 00:21:10,893 So I avoid all people wearing pleated khakis and golf shirts. 358 00:21:13,295 --> 00:21:14,861 I'm gonna go eat now. 359 00:21:14,863 --> 00:21:15,695 Yeah, you do that. 360 00:21:15,697 --> 00:21:17,665 You should find a new bus driver. 361 00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,666 People need to get away from this place. 362 00:21:19,668 --> 00:21:22,069 The only people who have bus licenses in this town 363 00:21:22,071 --> 00:21:24,640 are drunks and pedophiles. 364 00:21:25,907 --> 00:21:26,906 Can I sit here? 365 00:21:26,908 --> 00:21:28,210 Of course, dear. 366 00:21:30,045 --> 00:21:31,247 That's Millie. 367 00:21:32,448 --> 00:21:34,682 She likes cashmere turtlenecks, she's sexually frustrated 368 00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:37,119 and she has no idea what day it is. 369 00:21:39,355 --> 00:21:43,257 I like hoodies, I'm a virgin, and it's Tuesday. 370 00:21:43,259 --> 00:21:45,091 I know it's Tuesday. 371 00:21:45,093 --> 00:21:46,659 She ridicules me. 372 00:21:46,661 --> 00:21:48,928 It's non stop. 373 00:21:48,930 --> 00:21:52,132 Irene's totally going to grow up to be one of those dumpy women 374 00:21:52,134 --> 00:21:54,768 who own a kennel on the outskirts of town. 375 00:21:54,770 --> 00:21:57,771 That's like... a metaphor. 376 00:21:57,773 --> 00:22:00,206 She's the fecal matter in motel rooms 377 00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:02,943 that you can only see with an infrared light. 378 00:22:02,945 --> 00:22:04,177 That's a metaphor. 379 00:22:04,179 --> 00:22:08,317 She's like a dog's butthole that swells every time it barks. 380 00:22:09,185 --> 00:22:10,850 Actually, that's a simile. 381 00:22:10,852 --> 00:22:12,121 Not a metaphor. 382 00:22:16,859 --> 00:22:18,160 New resident! 383 00:22:18,894 --> 00:22:20,030 Don't touch me! 384 00:22:24,332 --> 00:22:28,769 ...sell my house, dump me in a place like this? 385 00:22:28,771 --> 00:22:30,169 He looks single. 386 00:22:30,171 --> 00:22:31,271 Hope he's a widower. 387 00:22:31,273 --> 00:22:33,040 They're great in the sack. 388 00:22:33,042 --> 00:22:34,375 That doesn't even make sense. 389 00:22:34,377 --> 00:22:37,176 Nothing's hotter than a grieving lover. 390 00:22:37,178 --> 00:22:40,947 Hello, welcome, welcome! 391 00:22:40,949 --> 00:22:43,651 Good afternoon, Mr. Preston. 392 00:22:46,755 --> 00:22:49,124 I think we're gonna need a little bit of privacy. 393 00:22:52,061 --> 00:22:54,861 Charles Preston, my name is Barrett Harbinson and I'm... 394 00:22:54,863 --> 00:22:55,898 Fuck you. 395 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,636 I like this one. 396 00:23:00,336 --> 00:23:03,337 You're in room 9, which is just down the hall, 397 00:23:03,339 --> 00:23:06,173 uh, if you don't mind, I'll take you there right now. 398 00:23:06,175 --> 00:23:07,774 If there's an emergency, 399 00:23:07,776 --> 00:23:10,743 just press the red "help" button in your bedroom. 400 00:23:10,745 --> 00:23:14,213 And if you can't get up, just pull the string. 401 00:23:14,215 --> 00:23:15,315 Enjoy your stay. 402 00:23:15,317 --> 00:23:17,087 I hope it's a long one. 403 00:23:17,986 --> 00:23:19,188 Bye for now. 404 00:23:24,793 --> 00:23:26,193 For just fifty dollars, 405 00:23:26,195 --> 00:23:27,828 a palette for all skin tones. 406 00:23:29,231 --> 00:23:31,197 It's a long wear lipstick, 407 00:23:31,199 --> 00:23:33,434 I'm gonna add a little bit more right here. 408 00:23:33,436 --> 00:23:35,435 Just a touch. 409 00:23:35,437 --> 00:23:36,303 Perfect! 410 00:23:36,305 --> 00:23:39,272 Irene, being on the cheerleading squad 411 00:23:39,274 --> 00:23:42,142 is about representing the school, you know what I mean? 412 00:23:42,144 --> 00:23:43,309 Yeah! 413 00:23:43,311 --> 00:23:44,877 Which is why only the best dancers get to join squad... 414 00:23:44,879 --> 00:23:47,748 No, it's about representation. 415 00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:50,349 Would you eat at a restaurant that had an ugly facade 416 00:23:50,351 --> 00:23:53,220 and never washed their windows? 417 00:23:53,222 --> 00:23:54,421 If the food was good. 418 00:23:54,423 --> 00:23:55,191 Exactly. 419 00:23:56,024 --> 00:23:58,024 My point is that you eat too much. 420 00:23:58,026 --> 00:24:00,993 What made you actually think you could be a cheerleader? 421 00:24:00,995 --> 00:24:02,162 You're fat. 422 00:24:02,164 --> 00:24:03,864 Yeah, everyone would be afraid to lift you! 423 00:24:03,866 --> 00:24:05,432 Hey, you! 424 00:24:05,434 --> 00:24:08,202 Leave her alone, you little chihuahua. 425 00:24:08,204 --> 00:24:09,802 Chihuahua? 426 00:24:09,804 --> 00:24:10,803 You're gonna die soon. 427 00:24:10,805 --> 00:24:13,339 Not soon enough, when I meet bitches like you. 428 00:24:13,341 --> 00:24:15,041 Suck your mother's cock. 429 00:24:15,043 --> 00:24:17,847 I'd try, but your mother's in the way. 430 00:24:19,314 --> 00:24:21,183 Don't fuck with me. 431 00:24:22,184 --> 00:24:24,084 What is going on here? 432 00:24:24,086 --> 00:24:25,886 What the hell is this place? 433 00:24:25,888 --> 00:24:27,791 It's the place you're gonna die. 434 00:24:38,466 --> 00:24:41,100 Hi, Chuck. 435 00:24:41,102 --> 00:24:42,235 What are you doing? 436 00:24:42,237 --> 00:24:45,340 I was thinking of giving myself a lobotomy with this pen. 437 00:24:46,908 --> 00:24:47,776 Cool. 438 00:24:49,177 --> 00:24:50,543 Can I help you unpack? 439 00:24:53,048 --> 00:24:53,950 Okay. 440 00:24:58,419 --> 00:25:00,223 You were a boxer! 441 00:25:00,822 --> 00:25:01,791 Cool! 442 00:25:07,929 --> 00:25:09,932 Is this a picture of your wife, Chuck? 443 00:25:11,132 --> 00:25:12,801 She's sexy. 444 00:25:13,202 --> 00:25:15,772 You have no idea what this is like. 445 00:25:16,839 --> 00:25:20,139 Moving into this place where you know you're gonna die. 446 00:25:20,141 --> 00:25:21,508 I do know. 447 00:25:21,510 --> 00:25:23,510 High school started yesterday. 448 00:25:23,512 --> 00:25:26,180 And besides, you might not die in here. 449 00:25:26,182 --> 00:25:30,117 My grandpa was hit by a delivery truck outside of a laundromat. 450 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:31,284 You're very sexy. 451 00:25:31,286 --> 00:25:34,256 If I had a penis, I'd probably have wet dreams about you. 452 00:25:35,190 --> 00:25:37,057 But I want to avoid sex altogether 453 00:25:37,059 --> 00:25:38,858 until I'm more established in my career. 454 00:25:38,860 --> 00:25:40,894 Can you just leave me alone? 455 00:25:40,896 --> 00:25:43,496 Intelligent women throughout history settle into marriages 456 00:25:43,498 --> 00:25:46,032 and never achieve their own goals! 457 00:25:46,034 --> 00:25:48,167 Have you ever heard of Einstein? 458 00:25:48,169 --> 00:25:50,169 Ah-never heard of him. 459 00:25:50,171 --> 00:25:51,204 He was married. 460 00:25:51,206 --> 00:25:54,607 She was a scientist, she gave it all up for him. 461 00:25:54,609 --> 00:25:57,211 And then he left her for his own cousin. 462 00:25:57,213 --> 00:25:59,011 Can you imagine? 463 00:25:59,013 --> 00:26:01,348 Your husband cheats on you to commit incest? 464 00:26:01,350 --> 00:26:04,020 That's, like, the ultimate insult. 465 00:26:06,254 --> 00:26:07,553 Oh my god! 466 00:26:07,555 --> 00:26:09,923 We're in a church! 467 00:26:09,925 --> 00:26:12,392 Are you in special ed? 468 00:26:12,394 --> 00:26:13,460 No. 469 00:26:13,462 --> 00:26:15,596 'Cause you're going to end up in a mental hospital. 470 00:26:15,598 --> 00:26:17,463 You're aware of that, right? 471 00:26:17,465 --> 00:26:20,099 No, I'm gonna end up on a football field. 472 00:26:20,101 --> 00:26:21,902 And why is that? 473 00:26:21,904 --> 00:26:23,173 I'm gonna be a cheerleader. 474 00:26:24,406 --> 00:26:26,906 Have you looked in a mirror lately? 475 00:26:26,908 --> 00:26:28,177 Have you? 476 00:26:29,378 --> 00:26:32,378 You're old and you kind of smell like an empty pickle jar. 477 00:26:32,380 --> 00:26:35,648 If I blur my eyes, you look Veronica. 478 00:26:35,650 --> 00:26:37,584 Who's Veronica? 479 00:26:37,586 --> 00:26:41,454 She's my pet maggot my mom made me flush down the toilet. 480 00:26:41,456 --> 00:26:42,889 Can I get you anything 481 00:26:42,891 --> 00:26:45,524 to make your stay more comfortable, Chuck? 482 00:26:45,526 --> 00:26:47,994 Vodka. 483 00:26:49,497 --> 00:26:50,165 Hmm. 484 00:26:54,168 --> 00:26:56,435 How am I ever gonna become a cheerleader 485 00:26:56,437 --> 00:26:58,371 when I'm stuck at a retirement home? 486 00:26:58,373 --> 00:27:00,907 You could do anything anywhere, Irene. 487 00:27:00,909 --> 00:27:02,174 With anyone. 488 00:27:02,176 --> 00:27:04,944 Cheerleading is just dance choreography. 489 00:27:04,946 --> 00:27:06,379 Think about that. 490 00:27:06,381 --> 00:27:07,647 Okay. 491 00:27:07,649 --> 00:27:11,318 Irene, you realize you're talking to a poster, right? 492 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,985 Yeah. 493 00:27:12,987 --> 00:27:13,986 Okay. 494 00:27:13,988 --> 00:27:15,521 Just checking. 495 00:27:37,346 --> 00:27:38,513 Hey! 496 00:27:39,615 --> 00:27:41,615 What are you doing in the living room? 497 00:27:41,617 --> 00:27:43,716 It's only for special occasions. 498 00:27:43,718 --> 00:27:46,353 Why can't we just live in the living room, Mom? 499 00:27:46,355 --> 00:27:48,355 Because! 500 00:27:48,791 --> 00:27:50,723 Living stains. 501 00:27:59,267 --> 00:28:02,435 I heard about your suspension, you shit disturber. 502 00:28:02,437 --> 00:28:04,236 Aren't you supposed to be in class? 503 00:28:04,238 --> 00:28:06,505 Listen, don't get suspended from the retirement home 504 00:28:06,507 --> 00:28:08,674 like you got from school. 505 00:28:08,676 --> 00:28:11,377 How do you get suspended from a retirement home? 506 00:28:11,379 --> 00:28:13,180 You die. 507 00:28:19,355 --> 00:28:21,154 ...come on down, prices so low 508 00:28:21,156 --> 00:28:23,522 you'll think you're in another century. 509 00:28:23,524 --> 00:28:25,759 These cars are going for practically nothing! 510 00:28:25,761 --> 00:28:28,228 No payments for 12 months. 511 00:28:28,230 --> 00:28:30,563 Don't wait! 512 00:28:30,565 --> 00:28:33,666 Next up: we have a dance crew all the way from 513 00:28:33,668 --> 00:28:39,306 St. John's, Newfoundland who call themselves "Tight Fusion". 514 00:28:39,308 --> 00:28:41,273 Now, they've advanced 2 rounds, 515 00:28:41,275 --> 00:28:44,411 but is tonight the night that they go home? 516 00:28:44,413 --> 00:28:45,715 Let's find out. 517 00:28:48,183 --> 00:28:50,049 5, 6, 7, 8. 518 00:28:50,051 --> 00:28:54,253 1, 2, 3 and 4, 5 and 6, 7 and 8. 519 00:28:54,255 --> 00:28:54,721 Woo! 520 00:28:54,723 --> 00:28:55,789 Okay. 521 00:28:55,791 --> 00:29:00,726 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 and 7, 8. 522 00:29:00,728 --> 00:29:01,461 Okay, good. 523 00:29:01,463 --> 00:29:02,328 Let's try it again, though. 524 00:29:02,330 --> 00:29:04,330 Um, a little more spirit this time. 525 00:29:04,332 --> 00:29:05,366 Okay, ready? 526 00:29:05,368 --> 00:29:08,100 The stage is being set for the next season 527 00:29:08,102 --> 00:29:10,337 of Total Talent Showdown. 528 00:29:10,339 --> 00:29:13,507 All you need is a special talent. 529 00:29:13,509 --> 00:29:15,742 Come on, grab your crew. 530 00:29:15,744 --> 00:29:18,177 We're looking for people of all ages. 531 00:29:18,179 --> 00:29:19,812 Anyone can be on the show. 532 00:29:19,814 --> 00:29:24,152 All you need is talent and the need to show it off. 533 00:29:26,155 --> 00:29:28,221 5, 6, 7, 8. 534 00:29:34,062 --> 00:29:36,296 Cheerleading is like having protective armour. 535 00:29:36,298 --> 00:29:38,098 If you're a cheerleader, you're in harmony 536 00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:40,067 with those surrounding you. 537 00:29:40,069 --> 00:29:42,269 Do we have anything to cut this with, sweetie? 538 00:29:42,271 --> 00:29:44,104 It's a bit strong. 539 00:29:44,106 --> 00:29:45,704 I'm gonna show you something. 540 00:29:45,706 --> 00:29:46,772 Are you ready, guys? 541 00:29:46,774 --> 00:29:49,175 Follow my movements, 'kay? 542 00:29:49,177 --> 00:29:50,577 Okay, come on you guys. 543 00:29:50,579 --> 00:29:52,178 Keep going, we gotta get warm. 544 00:29:52,180 --> 00:29:54,181 Running in place is so much work! 545 00:29:54,183 --> 00:29:56,715 Oh my... oh my god. 546 00:29:56,717 --> 00:29:58,487 What is she doing? 547 00:30:02,491 --> 00:30:05,091 We'll scrape you up like dental plaque. 548 00:30:05,093 --> 00:30:06,725 Did you by any chance, sniff glue 549 00:30:06,727 --> 00:30:10,129 when you got up this morning, sweetie? 550 00:30:10,131 --> 00:30:11,764 Okay, follow my movements. 551 00:30:11,766 --> 00:30:12,768 Ready? 552 00:30:15,736 --> 00:30:17,773 We have nothing to cheer for. 553 00:30:22,477 --> 00:30:24,478 No one cheers for anything in this town, 554 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,414 except for the Parc High Cheerleaders. 555 00:30:27,416 --> 00:30:30,750 Parc High is good to go, have you seen our possums throw? 556 00:30:30,752 --> 00:30:32,853 We'll roll you like you're pastry-o! 557 00:30:32,855 --> 00:30:33,552 Woo! 558 00:30:33,554 --> 00:30:35,187 Now, follow me. 559 00:30:35,189 --> 00:30:37,523 Ugh, that was so good! 560 00:30:37,525 --> 00:30:40,162 I can't do what those girls do! 561 00:30:41,295 --> 00:30:42,631 Can't we try? 562 00:30:43,264 --> 00:30:44,097 That was good! 563 00:30:44,099 --> 00:30:45,665 Just, I wanna hear that snap, okay? 564 00:30:45,667 --> 00:30:47,466 Let's do it together one more time. 565 00:30:47,468 --> 00:30:49,569 A 5, 6, 7, 8. 566 00:30:49,571 --> 00:30:52,371 Parc High is good to go, have you seen our... 567 00:30:52,373 --> 00:30:53,507 Ah... 568 00:30:53,509 --> 00:30:55,674 We'll roll you like you're pastry-o! 569 00:30:55,676 --> 00:30:58,377 Woo! 570 00:30:58,379 --> 00:31:00,280 Let's try again. 571 00:31:00,282 --> 00:31:02,482 But we've retired, dear. 572 00:31:02,484 --> 00:31:04,153 From everything. 573 00:31:04,619 --> 00:31:06,319 So you're just gonna give up? 574 00:31:06,321 --> 00:31:08,355 Just because we're not like them? 575 00:31:08,357 --> 00:31:09,225 Yes. 576 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:16,262 ...across, open, around and snap. 577 00:31:16,264 --> 00:31:17,931 Good job, guys! 578 00:31:18,934 --> 00:31:22,935 Cross, open, nails, nails, head, around and snap. 579 00:31:22,937 --> 00:31:23,872 That was good! 580 00:31:44,525 --> 00:31:46,459 No one wants a fat cheerleader. 581 00:31:46,461 --> 00:31:48,194 I'm just gonna embarrass myself. 582 00:31:48,196 --> 00:31:50,797 Don't worry about embarrassing yourself. 583 00:31:50,799 --> 00:31:55,335 I was in a movie called "Earth Girls Are Easy" and I survived. 584 00:31:55,337 --> 00:31:57,470 Irene, you cannot waste time worrying 585 00:31:57,472 --> 00:31:59,705 about what you think you see in the mirror. 586 00:31:59,707 --> 00:32:01,473 That's easy for you to say. 587 00:32:01,475 --> 00:32:02,742 You look good in a leotard. 588 00:32:02,744 --> 00:32:06,346 When I was your age, I was the tallest kid in class. 589 00:32:06,348 --> 00:32:07,880 It was always my greatest dream 590 00:32:07,882 --> 00:32:10,482 to take up less space in the world. 591 00:32:11,019 --> 00:32:12,085 I know that well. 592 00:32:12,087 --> 00:32:13,986 But there were better dreams to have. 593 00:32:13,988 --> 00:32:16,990 It took me a while to realize I'd rather be over someone 594 00:32:16,992 --> 00:32:18,625 than under them. 595 00:32:18,627 --> 00:32:22,229 Yeah, why can't life just be easy? 596 00:32:22,231 --> 00:32:23,430 It should be. 597 00:32:23,432 --> 00:32:26,332 Those people who say you can't be beautiful and fat? 598 00:32:26,334 --> 00:32:29,001 Tell them they could all suck my dick. 599 00:32:29,003 --> 00:32:30,537 You have a dick? 600 00:32:30,539 --> 00:32:31,805 I'm Geena Davis. 601 00:32:31,807 --> 00:32:33,843 I have everything. 602 00:32:56,497 --> 00:32:57,963 Hi. 603 00:32:57,965 --> 00:32:59,465 Are you a boy today? 604 00:32:59,467 --> 00:33:02,335 No, I'm Annie Hall. 605 00:33:02,337 --> 00:33:05,472 Anyway, I saw you and those old people yesterday. 606 00:33:05,474 --> 00:33:07,473 If you're gonna insult me, just do it. 607 00:33:07,475 --> 00:33:09,908 I don't like all the build up before it. 608 00:33:09,910 --> 00:33:12,345 You wanna be a cheerleader, yeah? 609 00:33:12,347 --> 00:33:13,512 Not a punk one. 610 00:33:13,514 --> 00:33:14,583 A real one. 611 00:33:15,951 --> 00:33:17,017 You just need music! 612 00:33:23,925 --> 00:33:25,058 Hey, guys. 613 00:33:25,060 --> 00:33:26,859 Can you point her in the direction 614 00:33:26,861 --> 00:33:28,560 of some good dance music? 615 00:33:28,562 --> 00:33:29,963 She needs quality. 616 00:33:29,965 --> 00:33:32,065 Vinyl, I'm assuming? 617 00:33:32,067 --> 00:33:33,599 I was actually thinking something 618 00:33:33,601 --> 00:33:35,501 more like audio cassette. 619 00:33:35,503 --> 00:33:38,338 Oh, you're a real hipster. 620 00:33:39,507 --> 00:33:41,808 Oh, keep your money, I put those tapes where they belong. 621 00:33:41,810 --> 00:33:42,578 Come on. 622 00:33:47,482 --> 00:33:49,883 You seem a little bit too comfortable here. 623 00:33:49,885 --> 00:33:52,484 Garbage is kind of my comfort zone. 624 00:33:52,987 --> 00:33:54,221 Amazing. 625 00:33:54,223 --> 00:33:57,589 Oh, this is all you need, Euro dance music from the early 90s. 626 00:33:57,591 --> 00:33:59,792 This is like oxygen for the people who wear 627 00:33:59,794 --> 00:34:01,730 high-waisted jeans and thick belts. 628 00:34:02,964 --> 00:34:05,831 The good thing about tapes is that they don't scratch. 629 00:34:05,833 --> 00:34:08,768 Then why'd you throw them in the garbage? 630 00:34:08,770 --> 00:34:09,902 They didn't sell. 631 00:34:09,904 --> 00:34:12,641 Well, aren't things people throw away better anyways? 632 00:34:13,741 --> 00:34:15,844 Maybe I should give these tapes another listen. 633 00:34:18,846 --> 00:34:21,715 Irene, you have the music, 634 00:34:21,717 --> 00:34:24,717 now you must give birth to your dream 635 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,554 and remember the path to cheerleading 636 00:34:27,556 --> 00:34:29,456 will not be a straight one. 637 00:34:29,458 --> 00:34:30,523 In what way? 638 00:34:30,525 --> 00:34:31,757 I can't be clear. 639 00:34:31,759 --> 00:34:33,927 I'm your mentor, I must be confusing. 640 00:34:35,864 --> 00:34:37,663 Who you talking to? 641 00:34:37,665 --> 00:34:39,965 I'm just having a conversation. 642 00:34:39,967 --> 00:34:41,934 With yourself? 643 00:34:41,936 --> 00:34:43,069 Geena Davis. 644 00:34:43,071 --> 00:34:44,503 What? 645 00:34:44,505 --> 00:34:45,473 Myself. 646 00:34:47,808 --> 00:34:50,677 Alright. 647 00:34:54,949 --> 00:34:56,949 You know your friend Tesh? 648 00:34:56,951 --> 00:34:58,485 Tesh is weird. 649 00:34:58,487 --> 00:34:59,719 Weird and smart. 650 00:34:59,721 --> 00:35:03,021 Tesh knows that when people like you go out and do their thing, 651 00:35:03,023 --> 00:35:05,125 it pisses people off. 652 00:35:05,127 --> 00:35:07,694 Now you've got music and booze. 653 00:35:07,696 --> 00:35:10,163 Get those old folks off their butts. 654 00:35:10,165 --> 00:35:12,766 But, I wanna be a regular cheerleader 655 00:35:12,768 --> 00:35:14,567 not a pissed off one. 656 00:35:14,569 --> 00:35:18,103 This town doesn't need another regular cheerleader. 657 00:35:18,105 --> 00:35:20,575 This town needs you. 658 00:35:22,043 --> 00:35:23,412 Thanks, Geena. 659 00:35:25,147 --> 00:35:27,413 It'll work. 660 00:35:27,415 --> 00:35:32,518 But I mean, I don't think these people wanna do this. 661 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:34,520 I think we can convince them. 662 00:35:34,522 --> 00:35:35,554 Really? 663 00:35:35,556 --> 00:35:38,690 Yeah, look at you, you're sexy. 664 00:35:38,692 --> 00:35:40,125 Enjoy your golden years 665 00:35:40,127 --> 00:35:44,431 at Florida's hottest retirement destination. 666 00:35:44,433 --> 00:35:46,465 Hey, we were watching that! 667 00:35:46,467 --> 00:35:47,866 You need to move your bodies. 668 00:35:47,868 --> 00:35:50,203 Why the hell would we want to do that? 669 00:35:50,205 --> 00:35:51,837 Because it's fun. 670 00:35:51,839 --> 00:35:54,706 We like to watch television, dear. 671 00:35:54,708 --> 00:35:56,576 I told you, we've retired. 672 00:35:56,578 --> 00:35:57,846 We have a proposal. 673 00:35:58,846 --> 00:35:59,915 Charles? 674 00:36:02,049 --> 00:36:04,018 Umm, 'kay. 675 00:36:07,022 --> 00:36:08,958 Who here wants to dance? 676 00:36:13,994 --> 00:36:15,998 Who here wants to dance with him? 677 00:36:18,065 --> 00:36:21,000 What I wanna do with him isn't called dancing. 678 00:36:21,002 --> 00:36:24,003 I wanna smash his pelvis into dust. 679 00:36:29,143 --> 00:36:30,909 That sounds dangerous. 680 00:36:32,214 --> 00:36:33,212 Come on, guys. 681 00:36:33,214 --> 00:36:34,082 Follow me. 682 00:36:35,784 --> 00:36:36,583 Shh! 683 00:36:36,585 --> 00:36:38,020 Hurry, come on! 684 00:36:44,726 --> 00:36:45,728 Great. 685 00:36:46,127 --> 00:36:47,226 Good. 686 00:36:47,228 --> 00:36:49,929 Follow my movements, be my mirrors. 687 00:36:49,931 --> 00:36:52,931 Don't worry about being bad or slow just follow best you can. 688 00:36:52,933 --> 00:36:55,235 5, 6, 7, 8. 689 00:36:55,237 --> 00:36:57,270 Hands in the air. 690 00:36:57,272 --> 00:36:59,706 And spin. 691 00:36:59,708 --> 00:37:01,107 What the hell is she doing? 692 00:37:01,109 --> 00:37:02,208 No. No. 693 00:37:02,210 --> 00:37:03,275 This can't be happening. 694 00:37:03,277 --> 00:37:04,543 Where are we going? 695 00:37:04,545 --> 00:37:05,980 We're gonna go tell that homo. 696 00:37:08,782 --> 00:37:12,552 He's got the ass of a 55 year old! 697 00:37:12,554 --> 00:37:13,953 This isn't bad. 698 00:37:13,955 --> 00:37:16,054 5, 4, 3, 2. 699 00:37:16,056 --> 00:37:17,657 This is choreography! 700 00:37:20,661 --> 00:37:23,228 And what the hell is this?! 701 00:37:23,230 --> 00:37:25,130 Choreography. 702 00:37:25,132 --> 00:37:28,067 These people are slowing down. 703 00:37:28,069 --> 00:37:31,036 Their bodies don't work like they used to. 704 00:37:31,038 --> 00:37:32,838 I don't think that's true! 705 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,641 Well, what if they're tired of people like you always assuming 706 00:37:35,643 --> 00:37:38,244 they can't do something just because of the way they look? 707 00:37:39,447 --> 00:37:42,916 Have you ever heard of this little thing called arthritis? 708 00:37:42,918 --> 00:37:44,717 Is watching T.V. and waiting to die 709 00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:46,188 a cure for arthritis? 710 00:37:47,989 --> 00:37:48,891 No. 711 00:37:49,123 --> 00:37:50,657 Come on, please? 712 00:37:50,659 --> 00:37:53,159 Oh, yes, okay fine! 713 00:37:53,161 --> 00:37:54,960 Does that mean we get to dance? 714 00:37:59,868 --> 00:38:00,768 Barrett. 715 00:38:01,902 --> 00:38:03,335 What the hell is going on? 716 00:38:03,337 --> 00:38:05,871 Choreography, apparently. 717 00:38:05,873 --> 00:38:07,340 Is she allowed to do this? 718 00:38:07,342 --> 00:38:09,041 Yes, I stopped caring. 719 00:38:09,043 --> 00:38:10,009 It's been liberating, actually. 720 00:38:10,011 --> 00:38:12,045 Although, I could do without all this music. 721 00:38:12,047 --> 00:38:14,880 It reminds me of happier times. 722 00:38:14,882 --> 00:38:16,181 Get back to work! 723 00:38:16,851 --> 00:38:18,186 You too. 724 00:38:20,188 --> 00:38:22,288 Thank you, where do I sign? 725 00:38:22,290 --> 00:38:25,891 Oh, always at the bottom, isn't it? 726 00:38:25,893 --> 00:38:27,726 Always at the bottom. 727 00:38:33,268 --> 00:38:35,168 Residents, a reminder that 728 00:38:35,170 --> 00:38:38,206 the chapel will beclosed 'til further notice. 729 00:38:39,007 --> 00:38:42,641 It must be so sad to have no self-awareness whatsoever. 730 00:38:42,643 --> 00:38:43,942 Doesn't sound so bad. 731 00:38:43,944 --> 00:38:46,145 You'd never know how sad it is. 732 00:38:46,147 --> 00:38:47,982 Hmm, well they need to be reminded. 733 00:38:51,018 --> 00:38:53,087 That bitch is staring at us. 734 00:38:54,889 --> 00:38:57,026 She's so lucky to be that pretty. 735 00:38:57,391 --> 00:39:00,192 Just remember, it's the whitest dogs 736 00:39:00,194 --> 00:39:04,130 always have the dirtiest buttholes. 737 00:39:07,902 --> 00:39:10,869 Why you givin' me this piece of meat, woman? 738 00:39:10,871 --> 00:39:12,308 They need self-awareness. 739 00:39:14,942 --> 00:39:15,877 Do it. 740 00:39:30,058 --> 00:39:30,993 Eat it. 741 00:39:32,860 --> 00:39:39,065 Pick up the goddamn meat and put it in your mouth. 742 00:39:39,067 --> 00:39:40,235 Chew it. 743 00:39:41,703 --> 00:39:44,172 Now, smile at them. 744 00:39:46,407 --> 00:39:48,009 Big smile. 745 00:39:48,777 --> 00:39:50,079 Lot's of teeth. 746 00:39:54,848 --> 00:39:56,951 Now they know you're tough. 747 00:40:03,692 --> 00:40:05,991 Have you ever heard of Total Talent Showdown? 748 00:40:05,993 --> 00:40:07,860 Oh my god, yes! 749 00:40:07,862 --> 00:40:09,128 Is that your plan? 750 00:40:09,697 --> 00:40:11,764 You were born for T.V. 751 00:40:11,766 --> 00:40:13,199 I'm just gonna embarrass myself. 752 00:40:13,201 --> 00:40:15,067 Everyone's gonna make fun of me. 753 00:40:15,069 --> 00:40:16,034 Look at me. 754 00:40:16,036 --> 00:40:17,136 Look at me! 755 00:40:17,138 --> 00:40:19,706 You think I got where I am by caring? 756 00:40:19,708 --> 00:40:22,074 I'm just gonna fail, everyone's waiting for it. 757 00:40:22,076 --> 00:40:24,444 Success is just failure in drag, think about it. 758 00:40:24,446 --> 00:40:27,846 Look, take this and if anyone bothers you, 759 00:40:27,848 --> 00:40:30,215 just upload it to the Internet. 760 00:40:30,217 --> 00:40:34,152 I strongly believe that bullies do not deserve privacy. 761 00:40:34,154 --> 00:40:37,322 It doesn't matter if you are a musician or an acrobat. 762 00:40:37,324 --> 00:40:41,293 Anyone with a special talent, we're looking for you. 763 00:40:41,295 --> 00:40:45,732 Log on to our website and submit your audition today. 764 00:40:55,143 --> 00:40:57,076 Gross. 765 00:41:01,982 --> 00:41:04,416 You. Continue stripping the wallpaper from the lounge. 766 00:41:04,418 --> 00:41:08,420 You. Keep the residents busy with your dancing, or whatever. 767 00:41:08,422 --> 00:41:11,023 You. Mr. Spence needs help in his room. 768 00:41:11,025 --> 00:41:12,125 Room 12. 769 00:41:12,127 --> 00:41:12,992 What kind of help? 770 00:41:12,994 --> 00:41:14,994 You'll find out when you get there. 771 00:41:17,866 --> 00:41:19,465 I'm happy when I'm around you, Chuck. 772 00:41:19,467 --> 00:41:21,266 I wanna eat you in a sandwich, 773 00:41:21,268 --> 00:41:23,869 but I don't wanna digest it and poo it out. 774 00:41:23,871 --> 00:41:26,304 I want you to be a part of me forever 775 00:41:26,306 --> 00:41:28,940 but I don't mean that in a sexual way. 776 00:41:28,942 --> 00:41:31,444 Maybe we should avoid making sandwiches together. 777 00:41:31,446 --> 00:41:33,512 I'm okay with constipation. 778 00:41:33,514 --> 00:41:36,215 Can we change the subject? 779 00:41:36,217 --> 00:41:38,854 I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Irene Willis. 780 00:41:41,855 --> 00:41:42,822 Who's she? 781 00:41:42,824 --> 00:41:44,223 A girl with a future filled 782 00:41:44,225 --> 00:41:47,226 with plus size clothing and desperation. 783 00:41:47,228 --> 00:41:51,096 Uhh, I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time following you. 784 00:41:51,098 --> 00:41:54,500 She's ill in the vag, you know what I mean? 785 00:41:54,502 --> 00:41:58,137 Okay, now we're gonna start by you punching me, alright? 786 00:41:58,139 --> 00:41:59,538 Come on, punch me. 787 00:41:59,540 --> 00:42:00,540 - No. - Punch me! 788 00:42:00,542 --> 00:42:01,675 I can't punch you in the face. 789 00:42:01,677 --> 00:42:03,909 No, yes you can, you can punch me right in the face. 790 00:42:03,911 --> 00:42:05,411 No, I'm not gonna punch an old man. 791 00:42:05,413 --> 00:42:06,512 You know, when you get old, 792 00:42:06,514 --> 00:42:08,246 people think you can't handle anything. 793 00:42:08,248 --> 00:42:11,083 I want you to punch me in the face. 794 00:42:11,085 --> 00:42:12,418 I want you to make a big bruise. 795 00:42:12,420 --> 00:42:14,186 No, I'm a nice person, I don't punch people. 796 00:42:14,188 --> 00:42:17,422 No one ever changed the world by being nice. 797 00:42:17,424 --> 00:42:19,425 I think that Ghandi guy did, didn't he? 798 00:42:19,427 --> 00:42:21,194 Fuck Ghandi! 799 00:42:21,196 --> 00:42:22,462 Like, we tried cyberbullying her, 800 00:42:22,464 --> 00:42:26,264 but that didn't work 'cause she doesn't even have the internet. 801 00:42:26,266 --> 00:42:29,969 So now I'm stuck here, in hell, with you. 802 00:42:29,971 --> 00:42:33,172 Do you know why you've been sent in here to help? 803 00:42:33,174 --> 00:42:35,074 Excuse me? 804 00:42:36,610 --> 00:42:40,913 I like listening to Bluegrass when I'm getting changed over. 805 00:42:40,915 --> 00:42:42,514 Changed over? 806 00:42:42,516 --> 00:42:45,821 You take the old one off and put the new one on. 807 00:42:46,888 --> 00:42:48,487 Do you mean like a diaper? 808 00:42:48,489 --> 00:42:53,462 If it's okay, I prefer disposable brief. 809 00:42:56,897 --> 00:42:59,033 I hate Irene Willis! 810 00:42:59,567 --> 00:43:00,599 Come on, punch me! 811 00:43:00,601 --> 00:43:01,300 No! 812 00:43:01,302 --> 00:43:02,034 Punch me! 813 00:43:02,036 --> 00:43:03,402 No! 814 00:43:03,404 --> 00:43:05,605 Fat girls can't cheer. 815 00:43:12,513 --> 00:43:14,049 How'd that feel? 816 00:43:15,315 --> 00:43:18,116 Really, really good. 817 00:43:29,496 --> 00:43:31,630 1, 2, 3, 4. 818 00:43:31,632 --> 00:43:34,333 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... 819 00:43:44,978 --> 00:43:46,279 Star. 820 00:43:57,424 --> 00:44:00,259 So to do cheerleading, we're gonna have to do some lifts. 821 00:44:00,261 --> 00:44:01,326 Are you crazy? 822 00:44:01,328 --> 00:44:02,328 We can't do lifts! 823 00:44:02,330 --> 00:44:04,529 We're a lot stronger than we look, aren't we? 824 00:44:08,536 --> 00:44:10,703 Ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja. 825 00:44:10,705 --> 00:44:12,672 1, 2, 3, 4. 826 00:44:12,674 --> 00:44:14,107 Ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja. 827 00:44:18,179 --> 00:44:19,411 You want me to what? 828 00:44:19,413 --> 00:44:20,646 Simple lifts! 829 00:44:20,648 --> 00:44:23,648 You cook them food, you might as well lift them up in the air. 830 00:44:23,650 --> 00:44:26,652 Why the hell would I wanna join a cheerleading team? 831 00:44:26,654 --> 00:44:28,987 Because it's awesome. 832 00:44:31,192 --> 00:44:33,358 Ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja. 833 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:35,695 Pump, pump, pump, pump. 834 00:44:35,697 --> 00:44:36,895 Ninja, ninja, ninja... 835 00:44:40,301 --> 00:44:42,067 And lift. 836 00:44:42,069 --> 00:44:43,304 Oh, oh, oh... 837 00:44:44,739 --> 00:44:45,674 Jump. 838 00:44:51,045 --> 00:44:52,545 Ninja, ninja. 839 00:44:52,547 --> 00:44:53,615 Pump, pump... 840 00:44:54,449 --> 00:44:55,614 What are you doing here? 841 00:44:55,616 --> 00:44:58,083 All I've been doing lately is burning coconut incense, 842 00:44:58,085 --> 00:45:01,219 masturbating, and crying myself to sleep. 843 00:45:01,221 --> 00:45:02,154 What? 844 00:45:02,156 --> 00:45:03,655 I need a hobby. 845 00:45:20,475 --> 00:45:21,808 Can we join? 846 00:45:25,446 --> 00:45:27,279 You're gonna be our cameraman. 847 00:45:27,281 --> 00:45:29,215 5, 6, 7, 8. 848 00:45:52,806 --> 00:45:55,741 I'm Geena Davis and this is how I arch. 849 00:45:55,743 --> 00:45:56,578 Ooh. 850 00:46:14,194 --> 00:46:16,228 I just want you to know that 851 00:46:16,230 --> 00:46:18,630 I think the world needs more masculine women. 852 00:46:18,632 --> 00:46:22,467 I think everytime a woman waxes her upper lip a kitten dies. 853 00:46:22,469 --> 00:46:24,837 I waxed yesterday. 854 00:46:24,839 --> 00:46:26,838 Yeah, I'm more of a dog person anyway. 855 00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,241 Y'know, cat's have kind of taken over the internet, 856 00:46:29,243 --> 00:46:30,409 it's obnoxious. 857 00:46:53,701 --> 00:46:54,703 Hey! 858 00:46:55,402 --> 00:46:56,735 I need more music. 859 00:46:56,737 --> 00:46:58,603 Well, uh, garbage day was yesterday, 860 00:46:58,605 --> 00:47:00,508 so the dumpster's empty now. 861 00:47:01,109 --> 00:47:03,641 I can give something from my personal collection, 862 00:47:03,643 --> 00:47:04,612 if you want. 863 00:47:05,378 --> 00:47:08,279 This here is Milli Vanilli. 864 00:47:08,281 --> 00:47:12,183 Sad story. The real singers were chubby, middle-aged. 865 00:47:12,185 --> 00:47:13,585 They thought they couldn't sell records, 866 00:47:13,587 --> 00:47:16,654 so these dudes posed as the singers. 867 00:47:16,656 --> 00:47:18,324 That's really sad. 868 00:47:18,326 --> 00:47:19,458 Yeah. 869 00:47:19,460 --> 00:47:22,628 And when their fans found out, they were really angry, 870 00:47:22,630 --> 00:47:24,596 they threw out their records. 871 00:47:24,598 --> 00:47:26,665 People burned them, which is too bad, 872 00:47:26,667 --> 00:47:30,503 because this is cheesy music at it's best. 873 00:47:30,505 --> 00:47:32,538 Are you saying this is a rare artifact 874 00:47:32,540 --> 00:47:35,110 that was rejected by millions of people? 875 00:47:36,243 --> 00:47:37,742 Yeah, I guess I am. 876 00:47:37,744 --> 00:47:39,281 It's perfect. 877 00:47:39,913 --> 00:47:41,850 Well, it's all yours. 878 00:47:42,382 --> 00:47:44,185 A freebie for the weirdo. 879 00:47:45,286 --> 00:47:46,822 Hi, is this Irene Willis? 880 00:47:47,455 --> 00:47:50,556 On behalf of the production here at Total Talent Showdown, 881 00:47:50,558 --> 00:47:52,724 that was maybe the most ridiculous audition 882 00:47:52,726 --> 00:47:55,561 we've just ever seen, but in a very, very good way. 883 00:47:55,563 --> 00:47:56,862 It was very good. 884 00:47:56,864 --> 00:47:57,833 They like us! 885 00:47:58,766 --> 00:48:01,433 Honestly, you and your crew, very timely. 886 00:48:01,435 --> 00:48:03,636 With the old and the young and the dancing. 887 00:48:03,638 --> 00:48:06,505 Very fresh, it's gonna make for great television. 888 00:48:06,507 --> 00:48:07,809 They think we're fresh! 889 00:48:08,643 --> 00:48:09,808 They're being sarcastic. 890 00:48:09,810 --> 00:48:12,411 Can you and your crew make it for an audition tomorrow 891 00:48:12,413 --> 00:48:14,380 at Yorkdale mall in Toronto? 892 00:48:14,382 --> 00:48:16,650 I'm gonna put you in for 12:15. 893 00:48:17,250 --> 00:48:19,250 We have an audition tomorrow at Yorkdale mall 894 00:48:19,252 --> 00:48:21,222 at 12:15 in Toronto! 895 00:48:22,190 --> 00:48:23,956 How are we gonna get there? 896 00:48:23,958 --> 00:48:25,724 It will be taped for broadcast, 897 00:48:25,726 --> 00:48:27,726 so there will be some release forms... 898 00:48:27,728 --> 00:48:28,697 We'll be there! 899 00:48:30,264 --> 00:48:31,266 We'll be there! 900 00:48:33,634 --> 00:48:34,400 Hello? 901 00:48:34,402 --> 00:48:35,500 Borrow the bus? 902 00:48:35,502 --> 00:48:36,534 Are you kidding me? 903 00:48:36,536 --> 00:48:37,302 For what? 904 00:48:37,304 --> 00:48:39,938 Um, an extracurricular activity. 905 00:48:39,940 --> 00:48:40,607 No. 906 00:48:40,609 --> 00:48:41,608 But we need the bus, 907 00:48:41,610 --> 00:48:42,741 it's the only thing that will fit everyone! 908 00:48:42,743 --> 00:48:43,808 For what? 909 00:48:43,810 --> 00:48:44,842 ...A field trip. 910 00:48:44,844 --> 00:48:45,744 Where? 911 00:48:45,746 --> 00:48:46,945 Uh, to a place? 912 00:48:46,947 --> 00:48:50,583 Listen, Irene, there is nobody qualified to drive this bus. 913 00:48:50,585 --> 00:48:51,183 No one! 914 00:48:51,185 --> 00:48:52,418 We could take a risk! 915 00:48:52,420 --> 00:48:53,251 No-it's illegal! 916 00:48:53,253 --> 00:48:55,221 But a lot of things were illegal 917 00:48:55,223 --> 00:48:56,956 before people just started doing it. 918 00:48:56,958 --> 00:48:59,360 Like oral sex in Connecticut. 919 00:48:59,627 --> 00:49:00,893 Be ahead of the times! 920 00:49:00,895 --> 00:49:04,199 No, I'm not losing my shitty job over this. 921 00:49:04,831 --> 00:49:06,333 These are my keys. 922 00:49:06,567 --> 00:49:08,837 This is the bus key. 923 00:49:10,871 --> 00:49:12,670 The bus is now out of commission. 924 00:49:16,243 --> 00:49:17,742 We need to steal the bus! 925 00:49:17,744 --> 00:49:19,945 The producer says they're taping us at 12:15 tomorrow... 926 00:49:19,947 --> 00:49:21,380 we can't be late! 927 00:49:21,382 --> 00:49:22,547 Okay. 928 00:49:22,549 --> 00:49:25,817 Oh, so-so maybe-you told me your mother drives a limo. 929 00:49:25,819 --> 00:49:27,518 Maybe she could help us? 930 00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:28,387 Are you kidding? 931 00:49:28,389 --> 00:49:29,989 My Mom doesn't even know I'm suspended! 932 00:49:29,991 --> 00:49:31,991 All of this has to be a secret! 933 00:49:31,993 --> 00:49:33,195 Okay. 934 00:49:34,828 --> 00:49:36,362 Anybody got any drugs? 935 00:49:36,364 --> 00:49:38,797 I think we need to drug that homosexual in khakis 936 00:49:38,799 --> 00:49:40,398 so we can steal his keys. 937 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,701 It's impossible to get drugs in this place. 938 00:49:42,703 --> 00:49:43,835 Leave it to me. 939 00:49:43,837 --> 00:49:46,975 I'll get those damn keys if it's the last thing I do. 940 00:49:47,808 --> 00:49:48,741 Everyone? 941 00:49:48,743 --> 00:49:50,808 Meet outside the retirement home at 10am. 942 00:50:17,772 --> 00:50:19,241 Can I help you? 943 00:50:19,507 --> 00:50:20,909 You're Irene's mom, right? 944 00:50:22,375 --> 00:50:23,842 Who the hell are you? 945 00:50:23,844 --> 00:50:24,946 I'm a friend. 946 00:50:25,578 --> 00:50:27,414 Irene doesn't have any friends. 947 00:50:28,915 --> 00:50:30,851 I'm... a colleague. 948 00:50:35,989 --> 00:50:37,422 Missed a spot. 949 00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:01,383 How was school? 950 00:51:04,085 --> 00:51:04,983 Good. 951 00:51:04,985 --> 00:51:06,784 Stop lying to me. 952 00:51:06,786 --> 00:51:07,888 Sit down. 953 00:51:10,790 --> 00:51:13,826 Drinking vodka and replacing it with water? 954 00:51:13,828 --> 00:51:15,828 It didn't work when I was your age. 955 00:51:15,830 --> 00:51:17,465 It doesn't work now. 956 00:51:18,031 --> 00:51:19,500 I didn't drink that. 957 00:51:20,433 --> 00:51:22,034 I know about your suspension. 958 00:51:22,036 --> 00:51:23,601 The retirement home? 959 00:51:23,603 --> 00:51:24,969 I know. 960 00:51:24,971 --> 00:51:26,471 Who told you? 961 00:51:26,473 --> 00:51:27,508 A friend. 962 00:51:28,909 --> 00:51:30,578 I don't have any friends. 963 00:51:31,846 --> 00:51:33,782 It was a colleague. 964 00:51:39,453 --> 00:51:40,686 Bitch! 965 00:51:46,694 --> 00:51:47,793 Shit! 966 00:51:55,034 --> 00:51:56,768 Asshole! 967 00:51:56,770 --> 00:51:57,703 God! 968 00:51:57,705 --> 00:51:59,505 Just listen up. 969 00:51:59,507 --> 00:52:01,873 Does anyone know how to hotwire? 970 00:52:01,875 --> 00:52:04,442 Do we look like car thieves to you? 971 00:52:04,444 --> 00:52:06,578 You look like fast learners. 972 00:52:06,580 --> 00:52:09,581 How the hell are we gonna learn how to hotwire a bus? 973 00:52:09,583 --> 00:52:12,617 You must be in denial if you think we can do that. 974 00:52:12,619 --> 00:52:13,886 Wanna hear about denial? 975 00:52:13,888 --> 00:52:16,487 She's still taking birth control. 976 00:52:16,489 --> 00:52:18,090 It's only to control my heavy flow. 977 00:52:18,092 --> 00:52:19,491 I can hotwire a car. 978 00:52:19,493 --> 00:52:21,559 The only thing it'll get you is arrested 979 00:52:21,561 --> 00:52:24,996 and then the only job you can get, when you get out of jail, 980 00:52:24,998 --> 00:52:27,735 is cooking meals at a shitty retirement home. 981 00:52:30,003 --> 00:52:32,670 I guess it can't hurt to do it twice. 982 00:52:32,672 --> 00:52:34,105 We'll have to distract Barrett. 983 00:52:34,107 --> 00:52:35,741 Right. 984 00:52:35,743 --> 00:52:37,612 I have an idea. 985 00:52:38,511 --> 00:52:40,712 And don't think about going out this weekend. 986 00:52:40,714 --> 00:52:41,779 You are grounded! 987 00:52:41,781 --> 00:52:43,648 But Mom, there's a really important thing tomor... 988 00:52:43,650 --> 00:52:44,616 No! 989 00:52:44,618 --> 00:52:46,217 Why ground me, when I'm already in prison? 990 00:52:46,219 --> 00:52:48,820 Oh, just because I won't allow the internet in here 991 00:52:48,822 --> 00:52:50,021 doesn't make it a prison! 992 00:52:50,023 --> 00:52:51,056 Yes it does! 993 00:52:51,058 --> 00:52:53,826 Do you have any idea how much of a freak I am?! 994 00:52:53,828 --> 00:52:56,228 Why can't I have a cell phone like everybody else? 995 00:52:56,230 --> 00:52:58,864 Cell phones turn perfectly nice people into assholes! 996 00:52:58,866 --> 00:53:00,065 Have you looked around lately?! 997 00:53:00,067 --> 00:53:01,900 Everyone is an asshole! 998 00:53:01,902 --> 00:53:03,501 I wanna be an asshole! 999 00:53:03,503 --> 00:53:05,704 I want my daughter to have an attention span! 1000 00:53:05,706 --> 00:53:07,105 I never had an attention span! 1001 00:53:07,107 --> 00:53:09,907 I don't want my daughter to be one of those people 1002 00:53:09,909 --> 00:53:13,145 who's texting when she should be making eye contact! 1003 00:53:13,147 --> 00:53:15,681 And don't even get me started on sexting! 1004 00:53:15,683 --> 00:53:16,315 I wanna sext! 1005 00:53:16,317 --> 00:53:17,483 That's all I wanna do! 1006 00:53:17,485 --> 00:53:21,018 Oh my god, can't you see that I'm trying to protect you? 1007 00:53:21,020 --> 00:53:22,623 From what? 1008 00:53:22,889 --> 00:53:25,491 You're not like everybody else, okay? 1009 00:53:25,493 --> 00:53:28,927 Girls like you need to be smart, you can't be a cheerleader! 1010 00:53:28,929 --> 00:53:30,831 You can't rely on your beauty! 1011 00:53:31,732 --> 00:53:34,032 That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. 1012 00:53:34,034 --> 00:53:36,034 I don't want you to get bullied, okay? 1013 00:53:36,036 --> 00:53:38,670 Those cyberbullies are, like, the worst! 1014 00:53:38,672 --> 00:53:40,072 I wanna be cyberbullied! 1015 00:53:40,074 --> 00:53:41,105 I can handle it! 1016 00:53:41,107 --> 00:53:42,641 No you can't! 1017 00:53:42,643 --> 00:53:45,110 Just admit it, you're embarrassed by me! 1018 00:53:45,112 --> 00:53:46,811 You, come down here, right now. 1019 00:53:46,813 --> 00:53:49,614 You got nothing out of life, except for a fat daughter 1020 00:53:49,616 --> 00:53:50,715 you wish you'd never had. 1021 00:53:50,717 --> 00:53:53,217 Maybe if you recognize that your body is a temple, 1022 00:53:53,219 --> 00:53:55,219 like I have been trying to teach you! 1023 00:53:55,221 --> 00:53:57,021 Aren't temples and churches open to all? 1024 00:53:57,023 --> 00:54:00,025 So what are you saying, you want me to be a slut? 1025 00:54:00,027 --> 00:54:03,094 Irene, you're overweight. 1026 00:54:03,096 --> 00:54:05,264 Well, it's better to be over something than under it! 1027 00:54:05,266 --> 00:54:06,232 What? 1028 00:54:06,234 --> 00:54:09,000 Over the moon, over-achiever... overalls! 1029 00:54:09,002 --> 00:54:10,034 Stop it! 1030 00:54:10,036 --> 00:54:11,536 I'm fat. 1031 00:54:11,538 --> 00:54:12,971 I don't mind being fat! 1032 00:54:12,973 --> 00:54:17,744 And if it offends you so much, I love being fat. 1033 00:54:20,848 --> 00:54:23,614 Irene, I am just trying to be your mother, here. 1034 00:54:23,616 --> 00:54:24,782 You're not my mother! 1035 00:54:24,784 --> 00:54:26,788 Geena Davis is my mother! 1036 00:54:27,821 --> 00:54:28,623 That's it. 1037 00:54:29,223 --> 00:54:30,221 What are you doing? 1038 00:54:30,223 --> 00:54:31,857 Why can't you just be normal... 1039 00:54:31,859 --> 00:54:32,590 Stop it! 1040 00:54:32,592 --> 00:54:33,224 ...and like... 1041 00:54:33,226 --> 00:54:33,958 Stop it! 1042 00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:35,661 ...Taylor Swift?! 1043 00:55:05,926 --> 00:55:07,128 Mom? 1044 00:55:10,297 --> 00:55:12,000 What are you doing? 1045 00:55:12,699 --> 00:55:13,665 Open the door! 1046 00:55:13,667 --> 00:55:15,067 What am I supposed to do? 1047 00:55:15,069 --> 00:55:16,235 You're grounded! 1048 00:55:16,237 --> 00:55:19,003 Mom, why can't we just finish fighting like normal people? 1049 00:55:19,005 --> 00:55:21,105 Because you're not normal! 1050 00:55:21,107 --> 00:55:22,306 I gotta go to work. 1051 00:55:22,308 --> 00:55:23,909 I'll be back in an hour. 1052 00:55:31,217 --> 00:55:32,384 That's it. 1053 00:55:32,386 --> 00:55:33,654 I quit. 1054 00:55:48,302 --> 00:55:49,467 Hello? 1055 00:55:49,469 --> 00:55:55,139 Irene, the farther you draw back an arrow, 1056 00:55:55,141 --> 00:55:59,043 the farther, faster, and stronger it will fly. 1057 00:55:59,045 --> 00:56:00,679 Where am I? 1058 00:56:00,681 --> 00:56:02,313 Infinite darkness. 1059 00:56:02,315 --> 00:56:04,782 It's a great place for interpretive dance. 1060 00:56:04,784 --> 00:56:06,851 Also for shooting '80s music videos. 1061 00:56:06,853 --> 00:56:09,788 Madonna's "Live to Tell" was shot here. 1062 00:56:09,790 --> 00:56:11,355 Am I dead? 1063 00:56:11,357 --> 00:56:13,058 No, Irene. 1064 00:56:13,060 --> 00:56:16,027 You are very much alive! 1065 00:56:16,029 --> 00:56:18,829 But, I'm not exactly on my way to dating a jock 1066 00:56:18,831 --> 00:56:20,666 or becoming a cheerleader. 1067 00:56:20,668 --> 00:56:22,800 You're a liar, Geena Davis! 1068 00:56:22,802 --> 00:56:24,638 I think that was a bit harsh. 1069 00:56:25,205 --> 00:56:27,338 Isn't it true? 1070 00:56:27,340 --> 00:56:30,275 I know, everything looks horrible right now, 1071 00:56:30,277 --> 00:56:32,411 but just remember, even when Thelma and Louise 1072 00:56:32,413 --> 00:56:34,846 lost all of their money, 1073 00:56:34,848 --> 00:56:37,715 I got to have motel-sex with Brad Pitt. 1074 00:56:37,717 --> 00:56:38,916 Whoa. 1075 00:56:38,918 --> 00:56:40,418 Accentuate the positive! 1076 00:56:40,420 --> 00:56:42,054 We lost everything, 1077 00:56:42,056 --> 00:56:45,123 but then I got to have a great character arc! 1078 00:56:45,125 --> 00:56:47,358 Take it from me, Irene. 1079 00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:50,462 Boys don't like it when girls are taller than them. 1080 00:56:50,464 --> 00:56:54,099 They also don't like it when girls are fatter than them. 1081 00:56:54,101 --> 00:56:56,934 But do you know what we say to that? 1082 00:56:56,936 --> 00:56:59,737 We say fuck 'em. 1083 00:56:59,739 --> 00:57:02,377 Thou shalt not quit! 1084 00:57:13,753 --> 00:57:15,253 Why are we meeting here? 1085 00:57:15,255 --> 00:57:16,288 It's Saturday. 1086 00:57:16,290 --> 00:57:17,725 We're going to Mapleview. 1087 00:57:18,792 --> 00:57:20,324 Do you hear that sound? 1088 00:57:20,326 --> 00:57:24,730 That's the sound of my dick shrivelling up and dying. 1089 00:57:24,732 --> 00:57:27,331 We can stop at the funeral home on the way there. 1090 00:57:27,333 --> 00:57:29,936 I'm sure they have a really tiny casket. 1091 00:57:32,239 --> 00:57:35,773 How long does it take for a tire to deflate? 1092 00:57:36,509 --> 00:57:38,111 You're psycho. 1093 00:57:48,956 --> 00:57:50,158 Okay, come on, Millie. 1094 00:57:50,389 --> 00:57:51,359 Let's go. 1095 00:57:53,025 --> 00:57:53,458 Hey... 1096 00:57:53,460 --> 00:57:54,192 Where's Irene? 1097 00:57:54,194 --> 00:57:55,427 I thought she was with you! 1098 00:58:05,172 --> 00:58:05,871 What next? 1099 00:58:05,873 --> 00:58:07,371 Do you see that yellow wire? 1100 00:58:07,373 --> 00:58:07,905 Yeah. 1101 00:58:07,907 --> 00:58:09,407 Yeah, pull it out. 1102 00:58:09,409 --> 00:58:09,907 Okay. 1103 00:58:09,909 --> 00:58:11,108 Can we hurry it up? 1104 00:58:11,110 --> 00:58:14,445 Because Irene isn't even here, we have to go and pick her up! 1105 00:58:14,447 --> 00:58:16,815 Oh, for heaven's sake, hold your horses! 1106 00:58:16,817 --> 00:58:19,186 Takes patience to hotwire a bus. 1107 00:58:21,822 --> 00:58:25,389 Oh, Ruth, I thought you had 1108 00:58:25,391 --> 00:58:28,326 at least another decade left in you. 1109 00:58:28,328 --> 00:58:32,898 I should have just given you the Vicodin. 1110 00:58:32,900 --> 00:58:36,934 You were a pain in the ass, but I'll miss you. 1111 00:58:36,936 --> 00:58:39,204 Alright, now spark those wires together. 1112 00:58:39,206 --> 00:58:40,038 Ooh! 1113 00:58:41,141 --> 00:58:43,541 I should start stealing cars. 1114 00:58:43,543 --> 00:58:46,513 You were special a special lady, Ruth... 1115 00:58:48,882 --> 00:58:49,884 Spencer. 1116 00:58:50,484 --> 00:58:52,483 I am special. 1117 00:58:52,485 --> 00:58:55,954 I just convinced you that I was dead for a whole minute. 1118 00:58:55,956 --> 00:58:57,556 Why are you pretending to be dead? 1119 00:58:57,558 --> 00:58:59,023 A decade? 1120 00:58:59,025 --> 00:59:01,462 I've got at least three left, shithead! 1121 00:59:02,529 --> 00:59:03,460 Hurry up! 1122 00:59:03,462 --> 00:59:05,262 Okay, I'm coming! 1123 00:59:05,264 --> 00:59:06,331 Hurry! 1124 00:59:10,469 --> 00:59:12,070 What the hell are you doing?! 1125 00:59:12,072 --> 00:59:13,237 Get back here! 1126 00:59:13,239 --> 00:59:15,407 That's my bus! 1127 00:59:15,409 --> 00:59:16,541 You don't have right... 1128 00:59:16,543 --> 00:59:17,909 This should be good. 1129 00:59:17,911 --> 00:59:20,545 Get back here! 1130 00:59:20,547 --> 00:59:22,947 You come right back here, Ruth... 1131 00:59:22,949 --> 00:59:24,384 Spencer! 1132 00:59:25,018 --> 00:59:27,117 Thank you for starting the bus. 1133 00:59:27,119 --> 00:59:29,087 Actually, she did it all herself. 1134 00:59:29,089 --> 00:59:30,255 Millie?! 1135 00:59:30,257 --> 00:59:33,123 From resident slut to criminal. 1136 00:59:35,996 --> 00:59:37,161 Hey! 1137 00:59:37,163 --> 00:59:37,929 Hey, Irene! 1138 00:59:37,931 --> 00:59:39,100 Irene, come on! 1139 00:59:40,900 --> 00:59:41,902 Come on down! 1140 00:59:42,335 --> 00:59:43,335 You got the bus? 1141 00:59:43,337 --> 00:59:44,134 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1142 00:59:44,136 --> 00:59:44,569 Come on! 1143 00:59:44,571 --> 00:59:45,603 Come on down! 1144 00:59:45,605 --> 00:59:47,204 I can't, I'm trapped in here! 1145 00:59:47,206 --> 00:59:49,241 My mom locked me in! 1146 00:59:49,877 --> 00:59:51,610 You're gonna have to jump! 1147 00:59:51,612 --> 00:59:53,047 I can't jump! 1148 00:59:54,380 --> 00:59:55,583 I'll catch you. 1149 00:59:56,116 --> 00:59:57,949 I'll kill you. 1150 00:59:57,951 --> 00:59:59,483 We've got expired cartilage 1151 00:59:59,485 --> 01:00:02,920 and look at what you've been making us do! 1152 01:00:12,465 --> 01:00:13,898 Okay. 1153 01:00:13,900 --> 01:00:15,099 Yes, you can do it! 1154 01:00:15,101 --> 01:00:17,369 Yes, yes! 1155 01:00:17,371 --> 01:00:18,406 Perfect. 1156 01:00:19,505 --> 01:00:21,172 You can do it! 1157 01:00:21,174 --> 01:00:21,840 Okay. 1158 01:00:21,842 --> 01:00:22,574 Come on, Irene! 1159 01:00:22,576 --> 01:00:23,007 Come on. 1160 01:00:23,009 --> 01:00:23,608 Jump! 1161 01:00:23,610 --> 01:00:25,342 Oh my god! 1162 01:00:31,951 --> 01:00:32,983 Oh my god. 1163 01:00:32,985 --> 01:00:34,119 Are you okay? 1164 01:00:34,121 --> 01:00:36,290 Yeah, no... I'm okay, I'm okay. 1165 01:00:37,056 --> 01:00:37,454 Let's go. 1166 01:00:37,456 --> 01:00:38,188 Okay. 1167 01:00:38,190 --> 01:00:39,657 Okay. 1168 01:00:45,065 --> 01:00:46,100 Are you guys ready? 1169 01:00:46,333 --> 01:00:47,565 Just remember to smile. 1170 01:00:47,567 --> 01:00:48,632 Okay. 1171 01:00:48,634 --> 01:00:49,166 Okay. 1172 01:01:02,616 --> 01:01:04,384 Irene?! 1173 01:01:04,650 --> 01:01:07,384 Year and make of the stolen vehicle? 1174 01:01:07,386 --> 01:01:11,422 1999 white shortbus. 1175 01:01:11,424 --> 01:01:13,425 And who do you suspect of stealing it? 1176 01:01:13,427 --> 01:01:14,458 The residents. 1177 01:01:14,460 --> 01:01:16,261 The residents? 1178 01:01:16,263 --> 01:01:19,130 The residents of this retirement home. 1179 01:01:19,132 --> 01:01:21,733 Are you telling me the old people of this retirement home 1180 01:01:21,735 --> 01:01:23,300 stole the bus? 1181 01:01:23,302 --> 01:01:24,071 Yes. 1182 01:01:26,605 --> 01:01:27,407 Cool. 1183 01:01:29,976 --> 01:01:32,744 Where the hell is my daughter? 1184 01:01:32,746 --> 01:01:35,713 Ninja, ninja, ninja, ninja. 1185 01:01:35,715 --> 01:01:36,982 And more cheer. 1186 01:01:36,984 --> 01:01:39,217 So ready, okay. 1187 01:01:39,219 --> 01:01:40,751 5, 6, 7, 8. 1188 01:01:40,753 --> 01:01:42,753 I should have been a bus driver. 1189 01:01:42,755 --> 01:01:45,155 Just what the world needs: a slutty bus driver! 1190 01:01:45,157 --> 01:01:47,358 Okay, Ruth, I've had it. 1191 01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:49,393 I want you to treat me with respect! 1192 01:01:49,395 --> 01:01:50,462 I do. 1193 01:01:50,464 --> 01:01:52,197 I respect anyone who's vagina'sbeen through so much 1194 01:01:52,199 --> 01:01:53,364 it's written a "tell all". 1195 01:01:53,366 --> 01:01:56,433 It's even made it on the New York Times Best Sellers List. 1196 01:01:56,435 --> 01:01:58,168 Stop bullying me! 1197 01:01:58,170 --> 01:01:59,204 I'm not bullying anyone. 1198 01:01:59,206 --> 01:02:00,270 I love sluts! 1199 01:02:00,272 --> 01:02:02,340 Apologize! 1200 01:02:03,442 --> 01:02:05,076 Millie, slow down! 1201 01:02:05,078 --> 01:02:06,677 Jesus, don't kill us! 1202 01:02:06,679 --> 01:02:07,712 Okay, I'm sorry. 1203 01:02:07,714 --> 01:02:11,483 Well, one of our residents, Ruth... 1204 01:02:11,485 --> 01:02:13,117 Hi! 1205 01:02:13,119 --> 01:02:14,518 Where is she? 1206 01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:15,786 We know where she's headed, 1207 01:02:15,788 --> 01:02:17,755 Not sure she'll get there, though. 1208 01:02:17,757 --> 01:02:21,425 You know, I've always wanted to ride in the back of a limo. 1209 01:02:24,096 --> 01:02:25,163 Millie, slow down! 1210 01:02:25,165 --> 01:02:26,264 Oh my god! 1211 01:02:26,266 --> 01:02:28,800 I'm trying, but... 1212 01:02:28,802 --> 01:02:31,201 I think we may have a flat tire! 1213 01:02:36,243 --> 01:02:38,145 Is everybody alright? 1214 01:02:38,511 --> 01:02:39,710 What time is it? 1215 01:02:39,712 --> 01:02:41,145 Here. 1216 01:02:41,147 --> 01:02:41,982 Shit! 1217 01:02:49,156 --> 01:02:50,424 It's a flat. 1218 01:02:52,324 --> 01:02:54,324 Oh, no. 1219 01:02:56,496 --> 01:02:59,100 We ain't going to Toronto. 1220 01:02:59,433 --> 01:03:01,034 We're screwed. 1221 01:03:03,603 --> 01:03:06,204 We're not going to make it to the audition, guys. 1222 01:03:06,206 --> 01:03:09,306 But we practiced! 1223 01:03:12,411 --> 01:03:14,014 Don't cry, Irene. 1224 01:03:15,382 --> 01:03:16,848 'Kay. Keep an eye out, please. 1225 01:03:16,850 --> 01:03:20,186 Look out that window, see if they're on that side. 1226 01:03:22,621 --> 01:03:24,759 This is the coolest Limo ever. 1227 01:03:33,732 --> 01:03:35,733 Do talk to me. 1228 01:03:35,735 --> 01:03:39,270 I just don't want you to embarrass yourself. 1229 01:03:39,272 --> 01:03:40,838 You're fat. 1230 01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:45,442 You can't be a cheerleader! 1231 01:03:45,444 --> 01:03:49,179 This town doesn't need another regular cheerleader. 1232 01:03:49,181 --> 01:03:51,549 This town needs you. 1233 01:03:55,388 --> 01:03:57,588 We're not gonna make it to the audition, 1234 01:03:57,590 --> 01:03:59,359 but we're gonna do it anyway. 1235 01:04:00,527 --> 01:04:01,462 Where? 1236 01:04:02,328 --> 01:04:03,795 See that plaza? 1237 01:04:03,797 --> 01:04:05,663 We're gonna do it right there. 1238 01:04:05,665 --> 01:04:06,734 What? 1239 01:04:09,469 --> 01:04:10,101 Come on! 1240 01:04:10,103 --> 01:04:11,503 Come on, get ready! 1241 01:04:12,505 --> 01:04:14,538 I've got the tape; I'll press play. 1242 01:04:14,540 --> 01:04:15,475 Alright. 1243 01:04:20,212 --> 01:04:22,115 Okay, come on, let's go! 1244 01:04:24,217 --> 01:04:25,150 We can do this! 1245 01:04:25,152 --> 01:04:27,121 Come on. Yeah, come over here! 1246 01:04:30,456 --> 01:04:31,692 Okay, get into positions. 1247 01:04:33,893 --> 01:04:34,828 Yeah, right there. 1248 01:04:35,529 --> 01:04:36,728 Song's about to start! 1249 01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:09,594 What the fuck? 1250 01:05:30,250 --> 01:05:31,849 There they are! 1251 01:05:31,851 --> 01:05:33,320 There they are... pull over! 1252 01:05:39,292 --> 01:05:40,824 Oh my god! 1253 01:05:44,630 --> 01:05:45,663 That's my mom! 1254 01:05:45,665 --> 01:05:48,565 I'm going to be your mom for the next ten seconds. 1255 01:05:48,567 --> 01:05:51,603 If you stop dancing, I'm gonna slap the shit out of you! 1256 01:06:06,386 --> 01:06:06,985 Oh my god. 1257 01:06:23,036 --> 01:06:23,871 One more. 1258 01:06:25,371 --> 01:06:26,637 Yep. 1259 01:06:32,978 --> 01:06:34,547 So cute. 1260 01:06:50,029 --> 01:06:51,395 Woo-hoo! 1261 01:08:25,758 --> 01:08:26,623 Yeah! 1262 01:08:26,625 --> 01:08:27,759 Woo! 1263 01:08:27,761 --> 01:08:30,027 Yes! 1264 01:08:30,029 --> 01:08:31,762 Encore! 1265 01:08:33,665 --> 01:08:34,931 Oh, we did incredible! 1266 01:08:34,933 --> 01:08:35,933 We did it! 1267 01:08:35,935 --> 01:08:36,934 We did it! 1268 01:08:36,936 --> 01:08:38,435 Your daughter is amazing. 1269 01:08:38,437 --> 01:08:39,839 Does she get it from you? 1270 01:08:42,709 --> 01:08:44,908 You keep laughing at her, it's not gonna work. 1271 01:08:44,910 --> 01:08:46,810 She doesn't care. 1272 01:08:46,812 --> 01:08:47,945 ...but I do. 1273 01:08:47,947 --> 01:08:51,114 And if you bully my daughter again, you little bitch, 1274 01:08:51,116 --> 01:08:52,785 I'm gonna call your mom. 1275 01:08:53,820 --> 01:08:55,886 Girls like you? 1276 01:08:55,888 --> 01:08:57,954 They peak in high school. 1277 01:08:57,956 --> 01:09:02,460 Let me tell ya, it's all downhill from there. 1278 01:09:02,462 --> 01:09:04,694 I gotta run, but this was amazing. 1279 01:09:04,696 --> 01:09:06,663 You slashed our tires, didn't you? 1280 01:09:06,665 --> 01:09:08,466 Why do you hate me so much? 1281 01:09:08,468 --> 01:09:10,467 Why do you have to be so mean? 1282 01:09:10,469 --> 01:09:12,769 I'm so sorry. 1283 01:09:12,771 --> 01:09:17,507 I don't believe in violence, but suck my dick. 1284 01:09:20,679 --> 01:09:21,949 You have a dick? 1285 01:09:22,714 --> 01:09:24,081 I'm Irene Willis. 1286 01:09:24,083 --> 01:09:25,850 I have everything. 1287 01:09:25,852 --> 01:09:27,020 Want one? 1288 01:09:27,986 --> 01:09:29,021 We need to go. 1289 01:09:29,688 --> 01:09:31,557 Say goodbye to your friends. 1290 01:09:32,758 --> 01:09:34,158 Well, we didn't get on T.V., 1291 01:09:34,160 --> 01:09:36,897 but you guys are such good dancers, you know. 1292 01:09:38,197 --> 01:09:40,734 I had such a good time. 1293 01:09:41,801 --> 01:09:44,036 I never liked the show anyway. 1294 01:09:45,103 --> 01:09:49,105 Well, at least we brought some excitement to this plaza! 1295 01:09:49,107 --> 01:09:51,978 Hey, uh, nice hook punch, by the way. 1296 01:09:52,745 --> 01:09:53,743 Thanks. 1297 01:09:53,745 --> 01:09:55,982 Alright, Irene, we need to go. 1298 01:10:00,119 --> 01:10:01,054 Okay. 1299 01:10:01,620 --> 01:10:04,424 Let's go, we're walking back. 1300 01:10:05,491 --> 01:10:06,860 Come on, Millie. 1301 01:10:07,227 --> 01:10:07,958 Okay. 1302 01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:09,493 I'm sorry. 1303 01:10:09,495 --> 01:10:10,494 That was fun. 1304 01:10:17,770 --> 01:10:21,506 You taught those old people my cheer moves. 1305 01:10:21,508 --> 01:10:22,142 Yeah. 1306 01:10:22,875 --> 01:10:24,708 Well, your diagonals are off. 1307 01:10:24,710 --> 01:10:26,847 They're, like, totally sloppy. 1308 01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:29,314 Sorry. 1309 01:10:29,316 --> 01:10:32,250 If you want to be a cheerleader, you're gonna have to perform 1310 01:10:32,252 --> 01:10:33,818 every move sharply, you know? 1311 01:10:33,820 --> 01:10:35,556 Everything's gotta be like a punch! 1312 01:10:39,792 --> 01:10:41,695 I can show you, if you want. 1313 01:10:43,629 --> 01:10:44,630 Really? 1314 01:10:45,164 --> 01:10:46,200 Yeah. 1315 01:10:47,066 --> 01:10:49,136 But you have to stop lying to me. 1316 01:10:49,669 --> 01:10:50,534 Mhm. 1317 01:10:50,536 --> 01:10:51,771 Okay. 1318 01:10:55,775 --> 01:10:59,210 So, how did you get those old people to move like that? 1319 01:10:59,212 --> 01:11:02,979 Uh, I gave them music and alcohol. 1320 01:11:02,981 --> 01:11:06,016 Oh, so that's what you did with my vodka. 1321 01:11:13,258 --> 01:11:14,759 Come on, Irene! 1322 01:11:14,761 --> 01:11:16,927 I've got dinner ready! 1323 01:11:16,929 --> 01:11:17,894 Okay, Mom! 1324 01:11:17,896 --> 01:11:19,130 Coming! 1325 01:11:29,142 --> 01:11:31,042 I think you're one of the greats, Irene. 1326 01:11:31,044 --> 01:11:33,176 Thanks for taping me back together. 1327 01:11:33,178 --> 01:11:35,278 Don't change for anyone. 1328 01:11:35,280 --> 01:11:37,814 You got it, Geena Davis. 1329 01:11:37,816 --> 01:11:39,951 You don't need me anymore. 1330 01:11:39,953 --> 01:11:42,086 My work here is done. 1331 01:11:42,088 --> 01:11:43,921 I still need you. 1332 01:11:43,923 --> 01:11:46,056 I have to go back to school tomorrow. 1333 01:11:46,058 --> 01:11:48,993 Everyone's gonna make fun of me all over again! 1334 01:11:48,995 --> 01:11:50,831 Other girls need my help. 1335 01:11:51,864 --> 01:11:53,267 But what about me? 1336 01:11:53,967 --> 01:11:57,167 Thank you, for liking me and not Taylor Swift. 1337 01:11:57,169 --> 01:11:58,838 Goodbye, Irene. 1338 01:11:59,672 --> 01:12:00,540 Geena? 1339 01:12:03,209 --> 01:12:04,244 Geena? 1340 01:12:06,379 --> 01:12:07,278 Geena Davis? 1341 01:12:25,964 --> 01:12:27,100 What are you doing? 1342 01:12:28,234 --> 01:12:31,101 Do you ever wish that we lived in a parallel universe, 1343 01:12:31,103 --> 01:12:32,905 where high school didn't exist? 1344 01:12:34,106 --> 01:12:36,142 Then where would we all get fucked up? 1345 01:12:37,977 --> 01:12:42,014 Come on, every Thelma needs her Louise. 1346 01:12:47,152 --> 01:12:48,952 So when are we dancing again? 1347 01:12:48,954 --> 01:12:51,154 I'm gonna teach dance at the retirement home, 1348 01:12:51,156 --> 01:12:52,657 if you wanna join? 1349 01:12:52,659 --> 01:12:55,059 Obviously I wanna be there. 1350 01:12:55,061 --> 01:12:57,060 That was the most fun I've ever had. 1351 01:12:57,062 --> 01:12:59,095 Me too. 1352 01:12:59,097 --> 01:13:00,930 After you, sister. 1353 01:13:00,932 --> 01:13:02,198 Good morning, students. 1354 01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:05,670 This is Principal Firestone with your morning announcements. 1355 01:13:05,672 --> 01:13:08,005 Reminder that the fall fair committee is gathering 1356 01:13:08,007 --> 01:13:13,377 after school... to discuss the fall fair dance sock hop. 1357 01:13:13,379 --> 01:13:15,882 Oh my god, that bitch is staring at us. 1358 01:13:17,115 --> 01:13:19,183 We are still looking for a DJ 1359 01:13:19,185 --> 01:13:24,188 who will play appropriate music for the occasion... 1360 01:13:24,190 --> 01:13:27,390 Get the hell away from her, or I'll punch you in the vulv. 1361 01:13:27,392 --> 01:13:30,027 I'd like to have a word with her alone, please. 1362 01:13:30,029 --> 01:13:31,330 It's okay. 1363 01:13:34,133 --> 01:13:36,403 This is pepper spray, in case you need it. 1364 01:13:39,438 --> 01:13:40,406 Where's Robbie? 1365 01:13:41,039 --> 01:13:42,074 We broke up. 1366 01:13:42,975 --> 01:13:44,140 Sorry about your eye. 1367 01:13:44,142 --> 01:13:46,277 I have something to say. 1368 01:13:46,279 --> 01:13:48,912 I respect a girl who can throw punches like that. 1369 01:13:48,914 --> 01:13:51,247 Especially at... me. 1370 01:13:51,249 --> 01:13:54,251 I know what it's like to have your mom not get you. 1371 01:13:54,253 --> 01:13:55,786 Okay, this conversation ends now. 1372 01:13:55,788 --> 01:13:56,956 Sarah Lindt. 1373 01:13:59,991 --> 01:14:01,128 Did you hear that? 1374 01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:03,029 Hear what? 1375 01:14:03,862 --> 01:14:05,932 Sarah Lindt. 1376 01:14:06,231 --> 01:14:11,001 My name is Geena Davis and I'm going to change your life. 1377 01:14:20,012 --> 01:14:21,014 Hey! 1378 01:14:21,446 --> 01:14:23,417 Oh, you go here? 1379 01:14:23,915 --> 01:14:26,253 I, uh, I saw your dancing online. 1380 01:14:26,486 --> 01:14:29,222 How many hits are you at now, like a billion? 1381 01:14:30,021 --> 01:14:31,424 You make me feel funny. 1382 01:14:31,857 --> 01:14:33,256 It's terrifying. 1383 01:14:33,258 --> 01:14:34,390 My name's Jacques. 1384 01:14:34,392 --> 01:14:35,328 Jacques Zimmerman. 1385 01:14:35,995 --> 01:14:38,429 You don't have to shake my hand, that was weird. 1386 01:14:39,030 --> 01:14:40,296 Jacques? 1387 01:14:40,298 --> 01:14:42,867 Do you wanna do something this weekend? 1388 01:14:42,869 --> 01:14:45,706 You-you wanna hang out with me? 1389 01:14:45,972 --> 01:14:46,907 Yeah. 1390 01:14:48,008 --> 01:14:50,507 I just wanna let you to know: my career comes first. 1391 01:14:50,509 --> 01:14:52,510 Also, I have pepper spray. 1392 01:14:52,512 --> 01:14:54,778 Uh, okay! 1393 01:14:54,780 --> 01:14:55,447 Cool. 1394 01:14:55,449 --> 01:14:56,980 I have a cell phone now. 1395 01:14:56,982 --> 01:14:58,381 You can text me on it. 1396 01:14:58,383 --> 01:15:01,786 905-555-0178. 1397 01:15:01,788 --> 01:15:03,420 Sext me as soon as you can! 1398 01:15:04,356 --> 01:15:05,324 Okay. 1399 01:15:06,825 --> 01:15:08,826 Why didn't you try out for cheer squad? 1400 01:15:08,828 --> 01:15:11,362 I tried, I licked the floor and everything. 1401 01:15:11,364 --> 01:15:13,363 I have no idea what you're talking about, 1402 01:15:13,365 --> 01:15:15,301 but we need you. 1403 01:15:16,268 --> 01:15:17,204 Really? 1404 01:15:17,904 --> 01:15:19,806 We like talent when we see it. 1405 01:15:24,944 --> 01:15:26,342 Okay, come on you guys. 1406 01:15:26,344 --> 01:15:28,912 Let's stretch those glutes, warm those hamstrings. 1407 01:15:28,914 --> 01:15:29,646 C'mon. 1408 01:15:33,419 --> 01:15:34,988 Remember. 1409 01:15:36,155 --> 01:15:37,958 Everything like a... like a punch! 1410 01:15:39,892 --> 01:15:40,827 Okay. 1411 01:15:42,160 --> 01:15:43,829 Hey, Irene. 1412 01:15:45,097 --> 01:15:47,497 What are you gonna do if they knock you down? 1413 01:15:47,499 --> 01:15:49,199 I'm gonna get back up. 1414 01:15:49,201 --> 01:15:50,835 What are you gonna do? 1415 01:15:50,837 --> 01:15:53,136 I'm gonna get back up and I'm gonna cheer. 1416 01:15:53,138 --> 01:15:53,871 Great. 1417 01:15:53,873 --> 01:15:56,476 Now remember, eat the meat! 1418 01:15:58,276 --> 01:15:59,210 Come on, Irene! 1419 01:15:59,212 --> 01:16:00,677 We're waiting for you! 1420 01:16:12,525 --> 01:16:14,524 Skipping class to practice a cheer. 1421 01:16:14,526 --> 01:16:16,060 We're so hardcore! 1422 01:16:16,062 --> 01:16:18,494 Hey, perfect. 1423 01:16:18,496 --> 01:16:20,096 I can't believe it. 1424 01:16:20,098 --> 01:16:22,198 A fat cheerleader? 1425 01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:24,301 Don't mess with her, you'll regret it. 1426 01:16:24,303 --> 01:16:26,336 Why? 1427 01:16:26,338 --> 01:16:28,073 She'll punch you in the face. 1428 01:16:29,241 --> 01:16:31,175 Okay, everyone's here. 1429 01:16:31,177 --> 01:16:32,579 Let's form a pyramid. 1430 01:16:36,548 --> 01:16:38,215 What are you doing there? 1431 01:16:38,217 --> 01:16:39,649 I thought you'd want me here. 1432 01:16:39,651 --> 01:16:40,518 We're athletes! 1433 01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:42,452 And you need to learn how to climb. 1434 01:16:42,454 --> 01:16:43,956 Let's do a thigh stand. 1435 01:16:44,923 --> 01:16:46,258 You want me on top? 1436 01:16:46,592 --> 01:16:48,058 Yes! 1437 01:16:48,060 --> 01:16:49,960 We don't have all day. 1438 01:16:53,266 --> 01:16:55,064 They say the key to success 1439 01:16:55,066 --> 01:16:56,966 is to look into the future 1440 01:16:56,968 --> 01:16:59,505 and visualize what you want to become. 1441 01:17:01,072 --> 01:17:06,109 But some creatures are perfect just the way they are. 1442 01:17:06,111 --> 01:17:10,314 And the special ones, if they stay alive long enough, 1443 01:17:10,316 --> 01:17:14,083 they grow wings and fly. 1444 01:17:18,657 --> 01:17:19,323 Woo! 1445 01:17:19,325 --> 01:17:21,294 Go Possums! 1446 01:17:23,431 --> 01:17:27,398 Subtitles by explosiveskull 1446 01:17:28,305 --> 01:17:34,435 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 100865