All language subtitles for Dont Think Twice 2016

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. severn darden will do
a spot improvisation for you.

Okay,
a little bit of history.

In 1955, a group
of actors in Chicago

invented the idea that
improvisational theater

could be an art form
unto itself,

not just a warm-up
for other theater.

We're going to be playing
with the all-American football.

That's an odd shape,
isn't it?
It's not actually round.

Everyone has
their own take on what's
most important in improv.

But even 60 years later
they still boil down
to three basic rules.

Sly and the family stone.

Jody and Buffy.
Buffy and
the vampire slayer.

Um, vampires...
Weekend.

Number one: Say yes.

Duck season.

Duck hunt.
Nintendo.

Which really means
just agreeing with the reality
your partner creates

and then building on that...

Pong.
Burp.

And then building on that.

Burp. Burp.

And then building on that
and building on that.

Defender.

Oh, um, frogger?

Mmm.

Oh, my god,
that is amazing.

Jack, you have
worked on that.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good...

That's a prepared bit.
That's not improvised.
What?

I don't accept that
as improv.

Number two:
It's all about the group.

-Yes.
-It's not about
you looking good.

It's also not about
looking funny.

No.
Or showboating.

It's about a group working
together in the moment

to create something
that never happened before,

you know, or will
never happen again.

Five minutes, guys.

"Five minutes, guys."

"Five minutes-ah."
Why am I Japanese?

Remember when you said,
"please tell me
when I'm racist"?

This is one
of those times.
Thanks.

Whoa!
Finally, and this is
the most important one:

He's swinging free!

Don't think.

It's all about
getting out of your head.

It's about impulse.

It's about
living in the moment.
It's about now.

-Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
-No!

We all said we would wear
the same outfit.
Everybody agreed.

"Let's start wearing
matching outfits."

I felt like this was
the only thing all of us owned.
Say, "yes, and."

Nobody's "yes, and-ing" me
right now.

You've gotta go.
You've gotta go.
I'm being a professional.

In improv,
there are no mistakes.

Like del close once said,

"fall and then figure out
what to do on the way down."

- Welcome to the improv
- for America theater.

Please turn off
your cell phones.
There's no talking.

All right, got your back.

Got your back,
got your back,
got your back.

Guys, I'm sorry I'm late.
Oh, no.

Sorry.
"Guys, I'm sorry I'm late."

"Sorry."
"There was this sun
in the sky and... oh!"

Guess what.
What?

Don't care that you're late.
I don't care that you're late.

Please welcome the commune!

All right, you guys, let's go.

Hi. I'm Sam.

I'm miles.
I'm bill.

Allison.
Lindsay.

Jack.

And we are the commune.

Everything you see tonight
is gonna be improvised.

This show is really
all about you guys.

So we want to know,
has anybody out here had
a particularly hard day?

And something actually hard,
not like your roommate
ate your yogurt.

It was still shitty
when you ate my yogurt, miles.

Go ahead.

I'm looking for
an apartment, and it sucks.

Like, why specifically
does it suck?

The only one I can afford has
the bathroom in the kitchen.
Hmm.

Hi.

Great.
Hi.

As you can see,
there's two bedrooms.

Lovely.
Here is the kitchen.

Nice.
There's a beautiful
bathroom.

Is that a toilet?

Yes, that is.

The toilet is
in the kitchen.
Hmm, mm.

Mm-hmm, yes. Mm-hmm.

And, um, who are they?

They-- they are--

uh, they are orphans.
They are orphans.

Hi.

Uh, did you
say "orphans"?

Yes. The apartment
comes with orphans.

Oh.
Yes, yes, yes.

Does the landlord mind
if I paint?

You can't paint the orphans, no,
but you can paint the walls.

This is the place
i was telling you about.
It has a lot of character.

This is my husband.
I love it.

It's great.
Hey, guys, this is it.
It's gonna sell today.

You gotta go for it.
I'll take it.

No, I'm gonna take it.
We'll pay 30 percent
over asking.

Well, I'll pay
50 percent over asking.

Well, we'll pay
100 percent over asking.

No, well, I'll pay $2 million
for this apartment.

For-- really?
Yes.

Okay, yeah.
What makes you want
this apartment so badly?

It's the orphans.

I want to raise them.

-Mm-hmm.
-This was my first group,
the awakening, in 1997.

That had me, bill,
Brad Burke. He's on...

He's on stuck in the middle.
Yeah, yeah.
He's done really well.

And this guy's
on weekend live, right?
Hugh Finn, yeah.

Wow.
I auditioned
that year too.

I was... inches.

And you're very talented.
I mean, you're upper third
of your class, but...

Most of these guys,
they're just not gonna make it.

Three percent--
excuse me just a second.

No, Bonnie,
we could move the theater.

We could find a space
in Brooklyn.

We could move
to long island city, astoria.

-All the music venues,
they're heading to bushwick.
-Or gowanus.

The business model
for selling $5 tickets to a show

is not exactly sound.

The theater's closing.
We've gotta be out of there
in four weeks.

They're selling.
Another trump building, I think.

New York City is over.

New York City, you're fired.

Improv for America,
you're fired.

All of America, you're fired.

-What the hell was that?
-That was trump.

Jfk.
That was jfk.

Your impersonation
is so bad, you're fired.

We're not leaving.
We could start a protest.

We could do
like an online campaign.

Occupy!

Miles, come on.
Protest! Protest!

Whoa! Whoa!

Jesus.
It was a bit.

A bit gone bad.

Samantha byrne,
you took that bit too far.
You're fired.

I concur. You're fired.

Jfk.

Most of us live here.

Oh, really?
Jack and Sam
moved out last year.

They have their own place.
Lindsay lives with her parents.

- My parents live with me.
- Yeah, whatever.

This is my room.

Watch your head on the pipe.
Oh.

It's, uh, not huge, but...

Neither am I, so...

What if I threw up
in your mouth?

That's it.

You throw up?
I'd go, "thanks, baby bird."

So weird. You're so...

You're so weird,
i love you.

It's too gross even for me.
It's too gross.

I like that you
went with it though.
I did.

I like that you
went with it.

I like that you went with it.
I need to work on my Irish.

I like that you went for it. No.
That's just a speech impediment.

I thought
it was a good show.

Oh, let me
show you something.
Look at this.

-Hmm?
-I don't know what
you're showing me.

It's called bucky's.
It looks like a porn house.

It is. I bought it
for practically nothing.

I'll wipe the splooge
off the walls and flip it
into a sephora.

Dad, I've told you I'm not
interested in real estate.

All right.

You still giving out
hummus samples?

No. I got a new job.

Great.

Hummus and chips?
No, thank you.

Hummus and chips?
No.

Okay. Follow me.

Like, I'm the most talented
copy editor at my agency,

and they fired me.

What's crazy is,
i don't even need the job.

It's hard to have
wealthy parents, Lindsay.

Can we have
another suggestion?

Uh, pen.

Hey, man, I got you
this new pen.

It's actually not a pen.
That's a fish.

And you dumb.
Pause there.

So, good stuff, you guys.

Um, I think what we wanna do
is think in positives.

So Natasha says,
"here's a pen."
You might add to that.

You know, "oh, thanks."
It's got an inscription.
It says "happy anniversary."

Okay, cool.
That's tight if you wanna
be doing improv forever.

But I wanna do weekend live.
Like, how do you do that?

You wait in line, Gary.
You looked good.

It's weekend live!

I'm glad you're keeping score.

It's the sports of comedy.
It's the only live
sporting event of comedy.

But comedy
isn't a sport.
"It's the sports of comedy."

It shouldn't have
winners and losers,
and there shouldn't be points.

They got Gary Cho,
and then it's like, who else?

You know what I mean?
Everybody else is...
White.

Even if it wasn't me,
there should be
somebody else on this show

that represents another...
Different shades
of white, certainly.

Yes, definitely.
They've got eggshell.
Ecru.

To ecru to off-white
to almost ochre.

I enjoy ochre performers.

It was good
when I was little.

You never know if it was good
when you were little

or you were just little,
so you didn't know.

It's the great paradox
of weekend live,
is was it good ever?

Or did we think so
because we were 12?

You should not have
said that in your audition.

I brought that up
at my interview.

Hi.

Sarah, we're gonna hold ten.
Why are we holding ten?

I called Hugh Finn.
He's bringing over some
producers from weekend live.

Hey, Jack, don't pull
some showboat shit out there.

What?
When do I do that?
You always do that.

Anyone from the industry
shows up, you turn into
a one-man audition tape.

You did it when the guy
from conan came,
when law and order came.

You guys, where's bill?
Where is bill?

He doesn't wanna miss this.

"Where are you?"
Bill?

Where's bill?
Where's bill? Where's bill?

Bill, bill, bill,
bill, bill, bill.

Bill's not gonna be happy
about missing weekend live.

-I love bill,
but we gotta do the show.
-Here we go, guys.

Please welcome the commune!

Hi. I'm Sam.
Miles.

Allison.
Lindsay.

Jack.
And we are the commune.

In fact, everything
you see tonight
is going to be improvised,

and it's all about you guys.

So did anybody out there
have a particularly hard day?

Hmm? Yes.

Yeah, I saw my dad
for the first time
in ten years today.

What? Really? Where?

He drives a taxi, and I just
randomly got into his cab.

Wait. No, no, no.
Wow.

Fact-checking.
Uh, you got into a taxi.

You did not know
it was your dad.
Then you said, "hi, dad"?

Yes, I said, "hi, dad."

Well, okay.

Wow. Hop in.
Oh.

Thanks. I didn't think
anyone was gonna pick me up.
It's raining so hard.

Yeah. Where you headed?

I'm going to a restaurant
on west fourth and Broadway.

What do you got
goin' on there?

A blind date with a man
I'll probably engage
in sexual congress with.

That seems a little fast.
Well...

Thank you. I...

I consider myself quite fast.
In fact, I...

I have abandonment issues.
My father left me.

So I basically only relate
to men through sex.

That's challenging
for me to hear.

Um... in that case,
i think I'll get out here.

Okay.

Welcome to la traviata.

How many?
Two. I'm meeting someone.

I'll be right back.
Thank you.

Dad?

I'm just trying to be
part of your life.

And you drove the cab?

Well, uh, now, look,

as the president of
the United States of America,

I believe that it's not only
my duty to find your father

but also have him pick you up
in a cab and take you
to your destination.

This is a new program
we're working on right now
called cabs for dads,

but my critics like
to call it obamacabs.

Uh, as if that would bother me.

I was justifying
why a man would be picking up
his daughter in a cab.

You also justified
why you should be doing
your best impression.

When weekend live is there.

When weekend live is there.

I thought
it was very strong.
Thank you.

No, you know, they're right.
You guys are right. I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have done that.
I went out there.
I shouldn't have done that.

That's Alicia bonham
and Hugh Finn.

Should I go over there?

Why would you go
over there and not us?

I don't care.
It doesn't Matt--

I could go over there.
You could go over there.
We can't all go.

Hi. I'm Jack.
Alicia.

That show was so good.
Thank you. Oh, my god.

I'm so flattered.
We are so flattered.
Such an honor.

We're all so flattered,
you know.

I started the group
11 years ago.
Hi. I'm Lindsay.

I love these guys.
We were in the trenches
together.

Miles and I are, like,
stage brothers for life.

So I'll see you
at Hugh's wedding then.

Oh, um, you're
getting married?

It's actually just
a really small thing, so...

I don't care.
I don't wanna go
to a wedding.

I hate weddings.
And babies.

If you ever have a baby,
don't invite me to it.

I follow you on Twitter.

I fucking hate Twitter.
My publicist made me join.

But, I mean, it's part of it,
though, you know, right? Right?

Yeah.

If you ever wanna
hate it together,

I'm Jack-underscore-Mercer,
so...

Underscore is
my middle name.

I have an instagram
for my neighbor's dog, actually.

So if you wanna check that out,
really fun stuff.

You don't have to be
an animal lover.

It's just like
really human moments
but also dog moments.

Uh, tulipbone,
'cause the dog's name is tulip.

She likes bones.
Easy to remember.
Thank you.

Thank you, guys.
Nice to meet you.

It is weird that he didn't
invite me to his wedding.

Is it though?
I wasn't invited either.

Smug son of a bitch.
I'm not invited
to his wedding?

I introduced him
to his wife.

I just tagged Alicia
on some tulipbone pictures.

Oh, nice.
You mispronounced Alicia.

Alicia.
No, it's not pron--

this is Natasha.
She's one of my students.
She's staying with us this week.

Hey. I got evicted.
My roommate sells crack.

Oh, man.
How was your show?

It was good.
Weekend live showed up.

Oh, god. Seriously?
Are they casting?

'Cause I've been working
on my characters.
Yeah?

Like, "y'all want
some crack?

Y'all want some crack
in your eggs?"

I'm not sure they're casting.
Anyway...

Oh, my god. You guys,
Bonnie just texted me.
They loved Sam.

Sam? You hear that?
Yeah?
Did they mention me?

You know, I auditioned
for the show in 2003.
I was... inches.

"Inches. I was, like, inches.
I was, like, inches."

Don't break my phone.

Boom. Yes.

So who wins jenga?

The person who does not
knock it over.

Like, everybody
who doesn't lose jenga wins.

Such a weird game.
Well done.

Yes, I can.

Mm-hmm. I'm there.
What's going on?

Sam. Sam.
More points for riskier moves?

You know that Americans eat
one trillion eggs a year?

- We do not.
Is that
even true, data?

Why do you
call her data?

You don't know data
from Star Trek?
How old are you?

Okay, we will be there.

So, are you okay?

Yeah. That was Bonnie.
Okay.

We have an audition
on Thursday for weekend live.

You and me?
You and me.

She's losing
right now, right?

You have to put...
Bill! Bill, where were you?

Sorry I missed the show.

"Sorry."
"Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry I missed the show."

You don't wanna...
You don't wanna do that.

Just stop.
It's real, okay? Just stop.

You did it!

You did it. We did it.

My dad, he rode
his motorcycle home.

And, uh...

On the highway
this 18-Wheeler

kind of edged him
off the highway, and he
hit the guardrail.

He's in the hospital.
I gotta take the train
to see him.

-We're sorry.
-I'll get my dad's car.
I'll drive you down there.

We'll all come.
I'm sorry.

What's going on?

Bill's dad had
a motorcycle accident.
Some truck hit it.

He got hit.

We're gonna go
to Philadelphia tomorrow.
I'll get my dad's car.

We actually have
some news too.
We have--

we're auditioning
on Thursday
for weekend live.

-Congrats, man.
-Thanks, man.

Weekend live, they came
to tonight's show?

Yeah.
Alicia and Hugh.

Motherfuck.
Sorry.

They're not gonna come
again, right? That's it.
They might.

The theater's closing.
Maybe they'll wanna take
another shot.

Maybe they'll come
again, you know?
Probably not.

I'm sorry.

Do you know which bits
you're gonna do?

We just heard, like,
ten minutes ago, so...

You gotta do Alex Rodriguez
at the cell phone store.

I forgot all about that one.
Oh, my gosh.

You gotta do the rock
when the rock loses
all the weight.

-Slim-fast rock.
What did you call it?
-The pebble.

The pebble, right.

"Can you smell
what the pebble's cookin'?"

"Not much, and that's why
i lost the weight."

It's weird that they
didn't want me to audition.

In some ways,
it makes sense.

It's like they
don't want more generals.
They want infantry.

Yeah. Yeah.

When I did it,
it was three characters,
three impersonations.

What I did--
nobody cares, miles.
What are you doing, Sam?

I don't know yet.
Jack, what are you gonna do?

Oh, you should do
uncle John.
What's that one?

"Okay, look.
Kids down there makin' noise.

Come down to the basement
half in the bag, talkin' 'bout,

'all you kids
in the basement!

I ain't gonna have it
with none of you kids.

Y'all down here,
you break anything,
you make any noise,

then there's the door.'"

okay. Then what?

The premise of the character
is that he points to the door?

"That's always the way
he exclamation-points
the end of the sentence.

You kids out here
makin' noise,

I don't want you in here,
breaking my antiques.

There's the door.
There's the door.

There's the door.
There's the door."

Uncle John, uncle John.
What?

I'm Bambi,
and I don't know
where my mom is.

"You know what?
There's the Doe."

There's the Doe!
Oh!

Oh!
Oh!

Uncle John, uncle John.
"Yeah. What's goin' on?"

I make pizza. I can find
my sauce and cheese,
but I can't find the other part.

"It's right here, dude.
There's... the dough."
There's the dough!

"There's the dough."
Kneading the dough!

Miles, it's weird
when you do it.
"Go out the door."

We had to do
an emergency craniotomy
to remove blood.

Your dad understands
what happened and where he is,

but he can't vocalize
more than a word or two.

We are past
this point, trying to remember
when the turning point was,

but there actually was
a turning point.

We should head out.

We should head out.

I'll come visit
again soon, dad.

Thank you.

You're welcome, dad.

Bye, Mr. coughlin.
See you later, Mr. coughlin.

Feel better,
Mr. coughlin.
See you soon.

Bye, Mr. coughlin.
We'll be back.
All right.

I know
it's not about me,

but I don't want
my dad to die
thinking I'm a failure.

You're not a failure, bill.
You're in the commune.

Oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, bill,

I know it seems,
like, grim right now,

but, boy, he's
really a fighter.

Yeah.

And there was that one moment
where he was like, "thank you."

And that was
actually pretty good.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

He was
really present.

Yeah, he was like,
"thank you."

Miles, that's wrong.
You're doing
an impersonation?

It was more like,
"thank you."

Oh!

Oh, Lindsay,
let me see your talent.
"Thank you."

"Thank you."

"Thank you."

"Thank you."

No, that's Bob Dylan.

I'm pretty sure
I'm the only one

that should impersonate my dad
when he's basically in a coma.

-Mine was good though.
-Oh, god, miles.

It was pretty good, but it
was really inappropriate.

"Thank you."
There we go.

Yea!

"Hello. Hello.
My name is Liam neeson.

If it's money
that you're looking for,

I've got none.

I've used all of it

the last six times
my daughter was taken.

I mean, didn't you find it
very easy to kidnap her?"

"No, you and I should sit.
You have to go over there.

God, are we glued here?
We're glued here."

Can't we have
a stationary table?
Uh...

"Can't we get
a table that doesn't move?"
Nobody answers!

"Nobody answers!
In this business."

...that doesn't
wobble here?

What?
"What?"

- Move the table aside.
- "What?"

I wanna put my feet on it.
"Feet on it.

Can't we get
a stationary table?

Can't... can't we get
a stationar--

nobody listens in this--
nobody!"

"If one hair on her head
is harmed...

What, she's dead?

To be quite honest,
there's a bit of relief there."

So I was thinking about
doing gena rowlands...
Yeah.

From a woman under
the influence as an umpire.

Okay. Well, that was obscure
in 1974, but okay.

"Pfft! Yeah.
Nick, you're out."

"What?
How could I be out?"

"You missed the base.
You're out. Pfft!"

"Missed the base?
I didn't even swing."
"Rain delay! Pfft."

"I didn't swing
at the ball."

You have to do
the porches things too.

"P-o-r-c-h-e-s.

We have aluminum porches.

Enclosed por--"

"listen,
Anne prima Donna."
"Yes, papa?"

"You're the prettiest girl
in Brooklyn.

If anyone tells you different,
they're outta their minds."
"Oh, papa."

"Look at these lips.
Those are kissable lips."

"What could you do
for my lips, papa?"
"I could do just about anything.

Let me check the lips
first, and we'll see
what we're doing here.

Oh.

Mmm.

Boy, my daughter's
good at everything."

Just kid--
you trained her well.

All right.
We gotta get moving.

"Oh, but an elf has confused
my legs for trees

and sawed them off
for firewood."

I'm serious. Here we go.
Come on, Sam.

"Can't we just lie here
in the Meadow?"
Come on, Sam.

"Yes, magical tree, we can
lie here in the Meadow

as long as that Meadow
is the train."

"Oh."
"Oh, here we are, magical..."

No, no, Jack, put me down.
We're going to...

I'm sorry...
I need time.

We don't have
much time, hon.

But yours is at 4:00,
and mine's at 4:15.
So I'll just meet you there.

I can wait if you
want me to stay with you.

"Just go, Jack.
I'll meet you there.

Don't worry about me."

It's better
if I meet you there?

Honey, I got it. I'm good.

Welcome.
Can I see your I.D.?

Ray Romano
singing "happy birthday."

Hi. Sam byrne,
weekend live.
See some I.D.

Rath, it was unbelievable.
I killed it, man.

I absolutely crushed it!
I can't believe it.

I did ray Romano sings.

They had to stop
because everyone
was laughing so hard.

No! You shut up!

A character called
the ticket taker.

He's an old timey
ticket taker, but he works
at a modern cineplex.

And he doesn't understand.
He's, like, delusional.

He thinks that we've lost
the classic kind of feel
of the cinema.

And so he's stuck
in this world. So...

Hi. Hello.

Hi.
I'm here to quit
show business.

Well, hello.

Hi. I'm here to quit
show business as well.

What? Jugglers
almost never quit.

What else
do they have to do?

So then he says,
"that's how it goes."

And then
i was like, "okay."

So I walk back
into the lobby,
out of his office.

And Gary Cho
was sitting there.
He looks at me.

Gary Cho says,
"we're all really excited."

And then I'm going,
"uh-oh. What?"

And at that moment,
Timothy's assistant
comes out of the office...

And made it official.

Oh, my god!
Ahh!

-Yeah!
-That is amazing.

Jack!
Oh, man,
that is amazing.

Awesome.
Congratulations.

I know, I know.
I'm fucking spinning.

Dude! Yes! Dude!

Thank you, man.
My man!

That's so...
I can't believe I know
someone on weekend live.

So that's it?
You just got it?

For years, I was like,
"it's either Jack or miles,
but probably Jack."

I always thought that.

No, but that's
what you get.
That's what you get.

Right? Uh, yeah.
Where's Sam?

You know what?
We showed up separately.

She hasn't texted me back yet.
So I don't know what's going on.

Can you still do our shows?
We only have three weeks left.
You can still do our shows.

I don't know.
I don't... you know, uh...

I mean, it's late night.
It's just the weekday.

I don't know,
'cause you're writing
all the time.

It's our first week.
I wanna put
my best foot forward.

There she is.
There she is.

Hi. I'm so sorry
i missed the show.
How was it?

-It doesn't matter.
What happened?
-How'd it go?

Um...

I was late, and they
wouldn't let me in.
What? Why? Why?

I don't know.
How late were you?

I was, like,
20 minutes late.

Twenty minutes late,
and they wouldn't let you in?

All right. Maybe I was
30 minutes late.

But how was it for you?

Listen. I told you
i would wait for you.
I told you I would go...

I know. How was it
for you though?

Honey, yeah, I got the show.
I got it.

That's great.
Yeah, yeah.

That's...
Honey, but I...

Thank you.

I wanted us both to get it.
I really wanted us both
to get it.

I know.

Look, guys, this is, um...

This is a victory
for the whole group, okay?
'Cause I'm gonna--

-you mean you'll talk
to Timothy about us?
-Uh...

When you talk to him,
my name's bill.

Just to remind you, I'm bill.
We've known each other
many years.

A lot of guys
who get on that show
can hire their own writers

or, you know, suggest it.
Seriously.

Yeah. I mean, I'm...

To Jack, everybody!
To Jack! Cheers! All right!
Jack.

This is huge.

Bill!

Put me down.

I was Jack's
first teacher, actually.

Oh.

You're my first teacher.
Exactly.

That's cool.
Crazy.

Yeah.
It's just like
anything could happen.

I was just so in it,
and I felt,

"if I don't get this,
I'm gonna kill myself."

I literally thought that,
and I believe that
to be true.

Oh, you mean like
if you had to live our lives?

Like, if you had
to continue living like us,
you'd kill yourself?

I don't have ocd.
I used to when I was a kid.

I had it kind of like...
Basically, I had this thing
with picture frames.

If I saw a picture frame,
i would have to touch
the four corners of it,

but it would
have to feel right.

If you want to talk to anybody,
i have a great therapist.

That's so sweet of you,
but I'm fine.

Okay.
I'm fine.

She's always struggled
with this. It's like, um...

She ran away from home
when she was 16

to become a ballerina.

Like an actual point toes.
Yeah.

Pirouettes and all that?
Nutcracker, yeah.

Black swan kind of thing.
It didn't work out.

She's great,
but it didn't work out.

Then she started coming
to commune shows,

and she became kind of
obsessed with our group.

Then I asked her
to join the group.
Wow.

Sam, honey.

Honey, what happened?

You can't just have been
20 minutes late.

Doesn't matter.

Cool.
-Thanks a lot, ma'am.

Oh, my god.

Where you going?

Uh...

I kind of feel
like a whore.

What do you mean?
We had a great time.

You're, like, 40.

I just turned 36.

I need you to teach
my classes.

Why?
I can't take it anymore.

Another one of my students
gets my dream job,
I'm still teaching 101?

I gotta focus on me,
writing for me.

I'm gonna get the job
at weekend live.

That's good for you, miles,
but I can't teach.

Why?
I'm good in a group.
I'm no good on my own.

...to the improv
for America theater.

Please turn off
your cell phones.

No photography is allowed.

What's that phrase?

"A house is made
of brick and stone,

but a home is made
of love alone"?

You ever hear that one?

No, Greg, I haven't.

I read it, uh...

It was like hanging up
in a doctor's office one time.

You guys ever hear
a phrase that's like,

"a bird in the hand
is like two in a bush"?

I heard that one.
Yeah?

Yeah. You guys
ever hear that phrase,

"there's nothing that
feels better than feeling

someone's last breath
come out of their mouth"?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
i heard that one.

I heard that one.

What about, like,
that one where it's like,

"the final drop of blood
in a man's body

is the sweetest nectar
you'll ever drink"?

Yeah. Yeah.

So I met this guy.

He owns this space
in midtown.
It's kind of fancy for us.

It's mostly like jazz
and classical music
and stuff,

but he said we could rent it
on one of the off-nights.

We might even be able
to make some money.
Really?

Yeah.
Wow. Is it expensive or...

That's the thing.
We would have to
front like $4,000.

But once we match it
in ticket sales,
we split up any profits.

That sounds good.
Can we see the space?

Hey. Come on, guys. Look.
Is this a lovely room, huh?

It's nice.
Is that a steinway?

Biggest one in the city.

It's got a good vibe.

He seems like
he really likes our show,
but he also seems like,

if I'm being honest,
like he's slimy enough
to get it done.

Yeah.
Good slimy.

I actually gotta get going.
But I'll see you at 9:00?

Can we make it 9:30?
What are you guys
working on?

Writing packet
for weekend live.
Cool.

I would get in on that.

What do you mean?

Like, I'd submit
with you guys as a team.

Writing teams
are two people.

And we already kind of...

Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, no, I'll do...
I'll do my own.

They should all...
You want the scenes, guys,

to run about three minutes
to four minutes, tops.
Gotcha.

The whole packet should have
like three parody pieces,

a commercial piece,
a political piece.
That's good.

Do you think
they would want
like cartoon form?

I was thinking about
drawing them out

so they read it
almost like a comic.

Maybe draw a couple little
cartoons next to the script.

There's this girl,
and she's on a dating show,

and she doesn't know that
she's fighting to win the love

of an alien and sasquatch
and Abe Lincoln's ghost.

All right.
And then she wins
Abe Lincoln.

He's like, "i can't
'cause I'm married,"
and she's like,

"well, then why did you
even join this game show?"

He's like, "'cause I had
a gun to my head."

And then it's actually...

It's John wilkes booth,
and he's gonna shoot him.

Then John wilkes booth
is, like, a handsome ghost,

and he's like,
"well, I'm single."

And she's into it
'cause she likes ghosts.

That's out there.
That's awesome.

Gary Cho could play
that sasquatch, no problem.
No problem.

It's too plot heavy.
I don't like it.

They have to order for him
'cause they're like...

Hey, I've got a few friends
that want to submit
some writing.

When would be, like, a good time
to talk to Timothy about that?

Is this like a bet?

No, I'm just asking.

Oh, this is like
a real thing?

Oh, never.

Don't ever talk to Timothy
about your funny friends.

First year,
just don't get fired.
Right, right.

So just don't ever do it
during the first year?

I'm sorry.
Was my, like, tone
not sarcastic enough?

Never do it. Ever.

Um... um...

So... I'm filling in
for miles today.

I have to confess, this is
my first ever time teaching.

So it's new for me,
it's new for you, but i
think it's gonna be great.

I really think you guys...

I see bright shiny eyes,
and you're making me happy.

Um... what did i
wanna talk to you about?

I wanted to talk to you
about group minds.

We're on the verge.
I feel it, right?
So I want...

Even when you're
just coming in and doing
warm-ups, zip zap zop,

I want you guys
to really be connecting
with each other.

Um...

Does anybody have
any questions?

Yes.
I'm sorry.

I'm just finding this
really confusing.

Good note. Good note.

Um, has anybody had
a particularly hard day?

I had to come back
from France early.

Oh!

Oh!

I went to Europe, and i
had to come home early.
Oh, the poor girl.

The poor girl
had to go to Europe.

I had to go to France.
Oh, honey.

She had to go to Europe.
Is there anything
we can do? I...

This is really depressing.
I'm sorry.

I donate at the office

for kids who have to
come back from Europe.

Yes.
I was gonna go
to Belgium.

Is there anything
you can do?
I don't know.

I mean, I'm kind of dealing
with my own stuff right now.

What kind of stuff?
I have no bone marrow.

-Hey, guys. This is Liz.
-Hey.

Came to the show tonight.
We went to naperville
high school together.

Hi. We used to do
high school theater
together.

We did high school theater.
We did a midsummer
night's dream. Yeah.

I used to watch her change.
What?

--Yeah, true. True story.

That's terrible.
Weird.

This was
such a nice surprise.

Oh. Well, you know,
I'm on my world tour.

And I've been following
your posts on Facebook
about the commune for years.

I had to check it out.
That's so cool.

I remember in high school
you were the star
of every play

and I was always, like,
the milkman or the messenger.

Narrator.
Narrator.

I was a clown
or the stage manager.

Watch your head on the pipe.
This is it.

You know, not huge,
but neither am I.

Wow. This is moving
pretty fast.

No, no, I...
Gosh, no, I...

I wasn't gonna suggest
that we...

I'm not staying here.
No, no, no, I didn't think
that you would.

I'm a 36-year-old woman.
I'm not gonna stay
in your college dorm.

No, no, of course.
Here. Sorry, sorry.

You're misunderstanding.
I'm 36 as well.

So I'm here
for a few weeks.

Oh, I'd love to see you
as much as, you know...

As much as
my schedule allows?

Yeah. Hey!

I had a great time.
Oh. Uh...

You should come by tomorrow.
We're gonna watch Jack on TV.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
I'll do that.
Yeah. So...

Oh.

"Thank you forever."

Just be careful with those.

"Art which is most exciting
today is impermanent

and not meant to last
except as an act of love.

It just comes out
between people.

It doesn't want
to be written down.

It passes in the moment
and disappears."

So, for tomorrow,
do you wanna...

Do you want me to get you seats
or do you wanna hang out
in my dressing room?

I don't know if I can
go back in that building.

Okay.

I could meet you
at the party.
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's good. Yeah.

It's weekend live!

We're gonna watch
the show here, but Jack is
gonna get us into the party.

And...

Jack Mercer!

Ick.

Fuck.

-He did it.
-That's our guy.

Musical guest, elel.

Five, four,
three, two, one. Go.

Step right up!

I can get your tickets
for you right here!

Tickets!
Yeah. Uh, I was
gonna get two tickets,

but I was gonna
use a kiosk.

Look no further
than me, friend.

I can get you tickets
right here,

and I can get 'em for you
at a g-r-e-a-t price.

Not funny.

Skillful, but not funny.

It's like when
something sounds funny,
but it isn't funny.

Please welcome elel!

We gotta go.
I-- dude, I'm coming.

I'm coming.
Just give me one second.
Do not leave without me!

No room for your
funny friends, Jack.

Robbie, do not leave
without me.

We'll hang
outside the time Warner.

Jack said meet
at the stage door.
Stage door?

We're not waiting
outside a building.

Why not?
He's probably there
looking for us right now.

That's not even
where the party is!
Let's go.

Fine.

Liz and i
are not doing that.

We are 36-year-old adults.

Lena! Lena! Lena!

Excuse me.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.

Hey, you think any more
of 'em will come out?
That's probably it.

My man, you know
where the party's at?
I don't know.

Where'd you get
that picture?

That's
our friend Jack.

I don't know who he is.
I found it
on a message board.

That's my boyfriend.
Okay.

That's my arm around him
in that picture.

Yeah, that's her.
Yeah.

Can you guys give me
a little space
or something?

I'm taking off, you guys.
I think Liz and I are done.

Yeah, I'm outta here.
Really?

-Hey.
-Have a seat.

Thank you.

You were very good.

Thank you so much.
It's just been
so surreal.

-Don't thank me now.
It's weak.
-Right.

- Thank me if I don't fire you
after the first season.
- Right.

Yeah.
I'm kidding.

Oh.

But I got you something.

I'm gonna give you
a hint.

It's Swedish.

It's wooden.
It's a bicycle.

Oh!

Yeah, when bj�rk did the show,
she brought her designer
artipelag,

and, uh, he made that
by hand.
Really?

Thank you so much. I--

um--

uh, should I take it
back over to my table, or--

oh, we'll store that
for you.
Gotcha. Gotcha.

Or you can ride.

Oh.

Hey.
Mmm.

Oh, boy, there she is.

Mmm. Hi.

No, buddy.
Hello.

Ain't happenin'.

Oh, that was
like a baby bird.

You know what?
I'm gonna sleep on the couch.
You sleep in here.

Hello.

Oh, hello.

Yeah, Timothy
recommended these.

-Um, they were imported
from Holland.
-God.

He gave them
to Dorothy goodwin
when she went into rehab.

Oh!
Not these
particular flowers.

I'm just saying,
it's from that place.

Rehab flowers.
Yeah.

Hey. Sweetie.

I am so sorry
about last night.

I'm so sorry,
and we're gonna get
through this, okay?

I know.
All right?

Thank you.

All right.
Love you.

Where you going?
I-- I gotta go to work.

He had a seizure
last week, actually,
which is not a good sign.

Really?
Yeah.
We're all really on edge.

God, that sucks, bill.
I'm so sorry.

Yeah.
It's been pretty grim.

It's been pretty grim,
you know?

So, um, here's
our writing packet.
Yes.

All right.
We worked
really hard on it.

Yeah, it's good.
It's good.

Got it.
No, no, okay,
guys, absolutely.

Um--
thanks.

You're welcome.
Yeah.

Remember,
don't thank me yet.

All I can do is try
to get it toward
Timothy's desk.

You know what I mean?
Much appreciated.

Yeah. Absolutely.

I want you to know
that I am recommending
everybody.

I'm recommending
you guys and miles
and-- you know.

Yeah. Miles, yeah.

Just remember,
we're the two that have
never talked shit about you.

You know, miles,
I'm gonna put in
a good word for you,

but it's not my job to give.

Right.

But they'll
want me, right?

I--

I taught you.
I know.

I taught you everything.

Just tell them that.

They have Jack Mercer.
Now they can get
his teacher.

I'm gonna--

I'm gonna recommend
all you guys.

'Cause I think
that's only fair.

This is
very unattractive.

Your, like, little hat...

And your-- your attitude.

This whole like,
"I'm bigger than everybody."

It's like--
you're just like us.

Your head is
so big right now.

Your-your whole
egocentric world--

you just have--
you're completely unaware.

You are st--

you are striking out
at me right now,
and I don't understand why,

because I already told you
all I can do is submit
your packet

and let the chips fall
where they may.

I just don't feel
like he believes in me.

My dad always told me,
"the thing with an easy sell

is that the thing has
to actually be easy to sell."

What does that even mean?

You have
to have the goods.

I don't have the goods?

You can work on the goods
instead of working on Jack.

Do the work.

Oh, I've been working
on the goods.

What are you doing?

Like, are you
working right now?

Are you applying
for anything?
Uh, unemployment.

Unemployment?

Your parents
own a brownstone
on the upper West Side.

Yeah, they do.
I'm separate from them.

You go to therapy
twice a week.
Who pays for that?

I'm not having
this conversation.

I just think it's weird
that you're the richest one
among us...

And you get checks
from the government
that we pay for.

Don't you think
that's true, Mr. coughlin?
Miles, let this one go.

Dog, dog!
Hey, look what I got for you!

My dad
bought two tickets

to the marshfield
high school production
of Peter Pan.

Aw.
You look like Peter Pan.

I think
he's just nostalgic

for back
when I was the star
of every play, you know.

When I was
in high school,

I won the eisner award
for most promising cartoonist,

and I've never had
one book published.

Data's working
on this graphic novel.
It's amazing.

Oh, I don't know.

What's it about?
Okay.

So it's about this girl
and she lives
in this small town,

and then--
well, she's a sculptor,

and the whole town
saves up money

and sends her
to the sculpture academy.

And when she gets there,
she never sculpts again.

Why not?
Because she's intimidated.

Can we read it?

Well, it's not done yet.

- Got your back.
- Got your back.

- Got your back.
- Got your back.

Got your back.
Got your back.

Got your back.
Got your back.

Got your back.

Please welcome the commune!

We never
even really left.
No.

Wow.

You just had
to wish for us.

Here I am,
58 years old
and twice divorced,

and finally
my imaginary friends return.

Even if we're imaginary,
we love you.

It's the only love
you've ever felt.

You guys--

you feel more real
than you did
even when I was a kid.

You're such
a great guy.

Sorry none of your wives
ever said that.

And the most
important thing is, don't think.

Del close was
the first one who said that.
It's everything.

You don't think, you don't
memorize, you don't--
you don't get paid.

Oh, Gary, so true.

But isn't that
kinda fun too? Right?

I remember that one.
What am I doing?
Oh, my god.

Remember that?
Oh, yeah!
I totally remember that one.

Yeah.

Let's use this box
for storage.

So we'll just
put stuff in here.
Okay.

-Why are we
wearing pajamas?
-Nighttime with us.

They wanna dream
in these improv
for America shirts?

They were
supposed to go--
guys.

You're not gonna believe
what I just found.
Do you remember this?

These tuxedos my dad gave us
after he bought out
that dry cleaner?

We used to actually
wear these in shows.

All right, what are we thinking?
Storage or garbage?

No, storage.
People loved these.

Why'd we stop
wearing them?

It's so small.

I'm so small.

They were fun to wear.

Not a bad idea.

I was seriously worried
that other teams were
gonna rip off the idea.

Do you guys feel
like this whole process
is kinda like...

Life telling us
to just maybe move on?

Your writing packet
is really good,
you guys.

You know, like,
weekend live would
be lucky to have you.

Oh, my old--
you don't want it?

No.

I feel like your 20s
are all about hope,

and then your 30s
are all about realizing
how dumb it was to hope.

Oh, my god.
Look at you.

You look like
a little claymation
seven-year-old.

Wait. Let me see.
That's me.
That's a boy.

Who is the one
who looks like he's made
of flour and water?

I was 21 years old.

Like, without the commune,
who am I?

It's like when I go
to the grocery store

and people treat me
like I don't exist,

I'm in my head,
"boy, I got a secret.
I go onstage. I kill.

I crush. I'm a superhero."

But without improv,
I'm kinda just a loser.

So it was like
a silent meditation retreat?
Yeah. In Brazil.

And everyone was quiet.
Okay.

For days.
Okay.

It was--
it was incredible.

I could hear myself think
for the first time,
i think, in my whole life.

I bet you got in trouble
for humming.

What do you mean?
'Cause you hum.

I remember that
from algebra class.
What?

Mrs. green always
used to get mad

because you would hum
while you were doing equations.

You'd get
this faraway look in your eye
and start humming.

I could never figure out
what the song was.

Okay, you know
way too much about me.

That's the tip
of the iceberg.
You're freaking me out.

I'm onto you!
Now will you sleep
in my college dorm?

No!

I like you.

I like me too.

You just said,
"i like me too."

No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.

Yeah, you did.
You did.
No.

The point is, I like you too.
Mmm.

Oh, hey.
Hey.
What's going on?

I snuck out early
to go to a pharmacy.

I'm pregnant.
Oh!

Um--

great.

That was fast.

Usually it takes...
At least four
to six visits.

No, it's this guy
i met in Brazil.
I'm pretty sure.

The--
the silent retreat guy?
Yeah.

The silent guy?

You guys just got
straight to it, no talking?

Yeah. No words required.

Um--

is he gonna be
the dad, or--

no. He's young.

Young? Fifteen? Illegal?

What kinda thing?
I can keep a secret.

The first thing I thought
when I found out
was I can't keep it.

But then it hit me.
I'm not 19.

I gotta tell you something.

Yeah?

I didn't--

what-what is it?

I didn't go to
my weekend live audition.

I just didn't go.

Why?

I mean, why?
Why wouldn't you go?

I don't know.
I freaked out.
I told you I would--

life is so short,
and you have to do things
that you believe in,

or what is the point
of all of this?
Yeah.

And I watch that show,
and it's not for me.

I like my life
how it is right now.
I like the commune.

I know, Sam. I know.

The day you guys
asked me to join the commune
was the greatest day of my life.

It was the greatest day
of my life.

But, honey,
you can't do improv
forever, okay?

It just--
it ends, all right?

And I don't want it
to end either, but it will.
It just will.

We've gotta jump
to the next Lily pad.

But I like
this Lily pad.

Honestly, you should
be on this show.
You'd be better than me.

Okay?

Think if, uh, I invited
the producers to come to
my improv show, they would come?

'Cause I just want 'em
to see Sam again.

Okay.
I don't even wanna go
to your improv show.

The only universe
i see that happening in

is if you got the host to go,
then maybe they would
tag along.

Zip!
Zap!
Zop!

Zip!
Zap!
Zop!

Zap!
Zop!
Zap!

Zop!
Wait. Where's miles?

He's in naperville
with Liz.

What are they doing?

The new guy
is sanding the walls.

- Who's the new tenant?
- Urban outfitters.

...placards.

Anyway, but it's
a really beautiful
neighborhood

with great restaurants.

Zip!
Zap!
Zop!

Zip!
Zap!
Sorry.

We should get onstage.
All right.

You sure?
Got your back.

Got your back.
Got your back.

Got your back.
Got your back,
buddy.

And we are
the commune!

Has anyone had
a particularly hard day?

Do the ticket taker guy!

That's a character
that Jack played on TV, yeah.

Could we get
a different suggestion?

Weekend live!

That is--

that's the name
of a television show.
You nailed that. Um--

anything--
anything else?
Ben stiller?

Ben stiller.

Ben stiller is
a member of tonight's
audience, correct.

Yeah, I'm... not-- yeah.

Um, anything about
a personal hard day?

Something that
happened to you?

Uh--

here, here!
I got a bushel of tickets!

I mean, there's no show,
but I got tickets!

I got tickets!

Holy mackerel, look at you!

Is that-- is that--
is that gena rowlands,
the actress?

Hey-hey-hey!

It's not.

I, uh--
I'm just a regular
ticket-loving lady.

You're telling me you're
not gena rowlands, huh?

I'm telling you
I'm not gena rowlands.

This is my improv group.
This is Ben, guys.
Hi. I'm Ben.

How's it going?
Hi.

Great show.
Great show.
You guys were great.

-Really, really funny.
-Oh, thanks, but you
don't have to say that.

No, I know
i don't have to say it.

-Right. Right.
-You guys were great.

I'm sorry.
I have to ask.
I've always wondered.

When you wake up
in the morning,

are you just like,
"oh, my god,
I'm Ben stiller"?

Um-- yeah.
Probably in the same way
you wake up in the morning

and go, "I'm Allison."

In heavyweights
and dodgeball
and reality bites,

you've never shied away
from playing
an unlikable character.

Like, what--
what gives you
that courage?

Um-- wow.

You know,
i never really thought
of myself as unlikable, but--

oh, I didn't--
you're not.

No, no, no,
I'm just saying as
the character obviously--

you know.

Did you think
that the reality bites guy
was unlikable?

My question is, who wrote
the Eddie munster sketch?
Did you write it?

Uh, yeah, yeah,
with my buddy Jeff kahn.

That's the best sketch.

That's such
a long time ago.

-I didn't think you
were unlikable in that--
-oh, no, no, no. I know.

Is the bathroom
right over here?
Yeah.

Be right back.

Guys.
This is awesome.
It's great.

Please don't ask
so many questions, okay?
This isn't 60 minutes.

Wow.

My students
just arrived.

I see Gary and some
of the other guys.

-I'm gonna
hang out with them.
-Why? Why?

'Cause I don't wanna
get scolded tonight.

I'm not gonna scold you.
Why? Was i-- am I scolding?

I don't understand
how I was--
was I scolding you guys?

Wait. Don't sit here.
Ben'll sit here.

Mm. No. No.

There are two types
of bad shows.

There's the type of bad show
where we sell
each other out onstage...

And nobody
hangs out afterwards,

and then there's
the type of bad show

where you all
go down together,

and then you come
to the bar afterwards
and you laugh about it.

That is the type of bad show
i want you to have.

Yeah, no, yeah,
we do that all the time.
You gotta love each other, okay?

You gotta be willing
to be broke.

You gotta be willing
to hit rock bottom.
Duh. Duh.

Together!
Oh, we're
definitely broke.

We all share
a one-bedroom in bushwick.
It's terrible.

Way to own it,
guys!

This is a game
called "blurt."

Pick one person. Say the first
thing about them that comes
to your mind. Connor. Go.

Fat.
Dangerous.

A little slow.
This game
hurts my feelings.

Twenty years from now,
oceans are gonna wipe out
the eastern seaboard,

and no one's gonna care
who made what album,

whereas the beach boys
already had a 50-year run.

We're still talking
about pet sounds,
and that came out in '67?

Nobody's talking
about pet sounds.

In 2050,
will people know who Drake is?

Once the eastern
seaboard's flooded,

are you gonna care
about the beach boys?

Yeah, more!
Surfing songs will be
more relevant.

There'd be more
water surface area.

Yeah.

Uh, these are
some writing samples

from some of the improvisers
in my group,

and they're really
a talented bunch of guys.

I just wondered
if you wanted to look at 'em.

Jack, you should worry
about yourself.

Oh, okay.

I'm cutting you
from "jugglers with vertigo."

Oh. Okay.

You know, you're not
what we call a pure talent.

You're not a virtuoso.

You're the kind of player
who should write for himself.

And if I don't get it,
then I'll move to naperville
with you guys.

Miles. No.

You don't--

this-- this isn't for you.
This is--

no, this is for me.

I'm just--
will you give me a chance?

Come on.

If it's a boy,
we name him Rodrigo.

To respect his Brazilian roots.

Rodrigo.

Have an open mind.

I know when you look at me,
i get what you're seeing,
but I'm also--

I want to think
that I can be better than that.

Tickets are now on sale
for our show this weekend

at the 45th street lounge.

Will Jack be there?

No, he has a show that night,

but this is kind of like
a test run for a longer run.

And if it goes well,
we'll have more shows,

and then Jack will
definitely be at those.

Oh.

You wouldn't "aw"
if you knew him better.

How much are tickets?

They're $45,
but down the road
there may be discounts.

But don't wait
for "down the road," okay?

'Cause we don't know
that there's gonna be
a road to go down.

So please come.

And that's more expensive
than you're used to paying
for our shows,

but, you know,
we promise that it'll
be of a high quality,

and we're just trying
to keep the thing alive,
so, uh, thanks.

Okay. Anybody had
a particularly hard day?

Yeah, we're sad
Jack's not here.

Well, he was
a very good man.

Loved him.
I loved him so much.

He died so young.

But not as young
as you think he is.

And he also
had bad skin.
Hmm.

I miss, um--

when you talked to him,
he would "uh-huh"
and be there

and you could almost forget
that he was just waiting
for you to stop talking

so he could talk.

Friends,
i have terrible news.

Worse than Jack
being dead?

Um, it turns out Jack
is really popular in heaven.

And, uh, his, uh--
his new friends

are having a funeral
for him there.

In heaven?

Uh, yeah, in Brooklyn.

And, uh, they have his body.

Bill, Allison: What?
Yeah.

What's in this casket?

Ah, it's just his head shot.

Let me help you
with that there, honey.

Oh, you got a memento
from the theater there, huh?

Maybe I'll keep
the theater going somewhere.

Okay. I gotta--
i gotta go to work.

We've got "Scooby-doo
gets put down,"

"Kim jong-un on
the bachelorette."

They're not getting on.

Is there anything
from your live shows?
Any go-to characters you do?

All right,
so we're in the red.

Live and learn.
You can keep that.

I heard from my guy
at weekend live
about your writing sample.

It's not gonna happen
for you there, miles.

Did you talk
to Bonnie?
Yeah.

We didn't get it.

So all of us
got rejected?

Fuck.

It's got two bedrooms,
a kitchen, beautiful bathroom.

Is that a toilet?

Well, obviously the bathroom
is in the kitchen.

Oh.

And then who are they?

Oh. Those are
two small orphans.

Hi.

Orphans?

The apartment comes
with these two orphans.

You can put
a piece of furniture
in front of 'em.

Put 'em in a hamper.

He can't do that.

And does
the landlord mind if I paint?

We've been replaced
by Ben stiller.

Fuck that!
I'm going to the party.

Hey, Jack!

Oh, excuse me.
One second.

Miles, what's going on?

What are you guys
doing here?
We saw the show tonight.

One of those sketches
looked pretty familiar.

We can talk about this,
but not right here.
Grab a drink.

Everything okay, Jack?
We're fine. We're good.

You're a fucking thief!

Miles, you don't understand
how hard this job is, okay?

I have tried to sell you.
It is not easy.

Oh, my god!
Are you okay?

You're going outside.
Hey!

- Don't push me like that.
- What's going on?

What was that?

-Wow! Jesus!
-Miles, that wasn't
the fuckin' plan.

That's just how I felt.
I'm sorry.
What the fuck, miles?

What happened?
I stuck up for all of us.

And I'm going back
in there!

You fucking psycho!

Miles, just relax.

- Where were you?
- I was out here.

Doing what?

I didn't wanna
embarrass myself
in front of my coworkers.

What does that mean?

I got the writing job
on weekend live.

Motherfuck!

They gave it to you?

You didn't even
tell us you were submitting.
That's so weird.

We showed you our packet.
And you didn't even
say a thing?

I didn't think
i was gonna get it,
and I was embarrassed.

That is so shady.
And you're not even gonna
last five minutes there.

'Cause you have
no work ethic.
Bill's right.

You've taken nine years,

and you still haven't
finished your doodle book.

I think what kills me

is that you don't even know
what it's like to work.

You've had everything
in your life handed to you
on a silver platter.

I didn't get handed this.

I turned in
a writing submission
and it was good.

No one wants
to say this, miles,

but you don't have it.

You were never inches away
from anything.

Fuck you, Lindsay.

You won't, 'cause I'm not 22
and I'm not your student.

You gotta let go, miles.

All this weekend live shit
is meaningless.

You've got the commune.

We only got one more show.
I don't wanna do it alone.

Please welcome
the commune!

Has anybody had
a particularly hard day?

Yeah. You have.

You're right.

You're right.

I have had a hard...

Month.

And I just feel like I'm--

I feel like I'm in a--

guys!

I'm down here!

I'm in a well!

"Sam is in a well?

Oh, my god,
this is a disaster!"

"She's in a well.
What will we do?

She's in a well.
Oh, my god. It's so bad."

Guys, stop worrying
about me. I'm fine.

I-- I actually kinda
like it down here.

It's quiet and it's cool.

There's-- there's water.

Oh.

Ow.

Ow! Somebody
throwing pennies?

"I'm, uh, sorry, milady.

I was making a wish
for my dying aunt Fiona."

Oh.

That's a--
that's an unplaceable accent
you've got there.

But if it's for your
sick aunt Fiona, please.

Is that my boyfriend Jack?

"Yeah. What do you need?
I'll get it for you."

No, I'm-- I'm fine.

That's what
i want you to know
is that I'm fine.

You don't have
to worry about me.

I'm not worried
about you, honey.
I'm not worried at all.

I'm just--
I'm just here to support you.

Uh--

hey.

What's going on?

Did you--
did you, uh, fall in a well?

I did.

Ah, yes, that's--
because that's-- yes.

Uh, but you don't have
to worry about me,

because I like it
down here.

No, I will not leave you, okay?
I'm lowering down the bucket.

Oh, you could never
pull me up though.
I have very heavy bones.

I'm fully aware of that,
and i-- and I took precautions.

Those magical beans sitting
on the counter this morning?
They gave me super strength.

I'm so sorry to tell you,
but those were just black beans
from chipotle.

Right.

But the good thing is that--

that I hired a wizard,
who was surprisingly affordable,

and he cast a spell
over those beans,
and now I have super strength.

I'm just saying, you know,
i am not gonna leave you.

Sam.

Honey.

Maybe I belong in the well.

I think
we both know it's over.

It's okay.

Del close once said
watching great improv

is like watching people
put the plane together
when they're already in the sky.

It's not meant to last,
except as an act of love.

It passes in a moment
and disappears.

Oh, my goodness!

Hello, hello!

Oh, my god.

Hi.

Oh, my gosh!
You're great!

Oh, don't cry.

He's sad!
Don't be sad!

He's sad!
You're in America.

Before weekend live
and second city
and improv olympic

and all the TV shows
that came out of these
theater movements,

viola spolin
and Paul sills and del close

and a bunch of people
in Chicago and San Francisco
in the 1950s and '60s

created this art form.

My dad lived
one kind of lifestyle.

I live a very
different lifestyle.

He didn't always understand me,
but he always respected me.

I loved that about my dad.

The last six months,

I got to know my dad
better than the rest
of our lives combined.

Listen. I'll be
on the next train home,
all right?

It's not even gonna make dress,
so don't worry about it. Bye.

Hey, great service.
Thank you so much, father.
That was great.

I missed just a tiny bit.

Thanks, buddy.

Wait. So who wins jenga?

Hey, guys.
Hey.

Thanks for making it down.

I know it's not
very convenient, so...

-Oh, my god. Of course.
-Yeah, buddy, absolutely, man.

Thanks for letting me
and Liz and Rodrigo
crash in the guest room.

Yeah, no sweat, man.
He has your eyes, you know?

--Not my biological son.

I don't know.
You look pretty Brazilian.

Yeah, and the consistency
of the hair is uncanny.

"Thank you."
Aw, man.

That is entirely unacceptable.
He's dead.

That's a dead man
you're mocking.

"Thank you."

Um, I just called a car
to come get Jack,

bring him
to the train station.

We'll wait outside for that,
and then after that,
i can show you guys the theater.

Oh, yeah?
What's the theater?

Well, my dad
actually bought
this old porn theater,

and we're gonna fix it up,
turn it into an improv space.

Yeah, we're gonna
teach and have shows.

We're actually doing a show
for data's graphic novel.

- Oh!
- You finished it.

- Yeah.
- That a girl.

Well, that's you, Jack.
Yeah.
Well, here we go, guys.

Bye, Jack.
See ya.

Have a good one.

See ya soon.
Bye, buddy.

You know, I think maybe
I'll go to the theater
with you guys.

How about that?
No.

It's the last train
to New York. Get on it.

You know
you're cutting it close.

We love you, pal.

All right,
I'll see you Monday
at work.

Billy.

Got your back.

Bye.

Wow.

Come on!

Well, it needs
a lot of work,
but it's ours.

We get to program
the whole thing,

and we're just gonna
try to find some, like,
local kids who are hungry,

try to build a scene
here in town, you know?

Has anyone had
a particularly hard day?

You.

I--

- I buried my dad.
- Oh!