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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
2
00:00:02,929 --> 00:00:06,082
- Would you like to sample my new jam?
- What's the catch?
3
00:00:06,150 --> 00:00:09,162
No catch.
Free toast, free jam.
4
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,321
- Mm!
- Mm!
5
00:00:14,725 --> 00:00:18,662
Okay! [chuckles]
Now, that is some zippy jam!
6
00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,531
You could set your watch to this!
7
00:00:21,566 --> 00:00:24,000
Oh, I'm so happy you all like it.
8
00:00:24,035 --> 00:00:26,036
I made it with local wild berries.
9
00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:27,537
[spitting]
10
00:00:27,538 --> 00:00:30,140
- What are you trying to pull?
- Pull?
11
00:00:30,408 --> 00:00:32,075
People around here
don't take kindly
12
00:00:32,076 --> 00:00:35,111
to being tricked
into eating locally grown food.
13
00:00:35,179 --> 00:00:38,315
Locally grown is bad?
Of course. [forced chuckle]
14
00:00:38,316 --> 00:00:39,349
Because this town
doesn't have enough things
15
00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:40,817
that make no sense.
16
00:00:40,818 --> 00:00:42,752
What are you
throwing it away for?
17
00:00:42,820 --> 00:00:44,521
Wait, now you want the jam?
18
00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:47,357
No, but you could sell
it to out-of-towners.
19
00:00:47,391 --> 00:00:49,693
It's not local for them.
20
00:00:50,728 --> 00:00:54,764
Ugh. "Move to a small town,
Lacey. It'll be fun, Lacey."
21
00:00:54,799 --> 00:00:56,399
Ugh, you...
22
00:00:56,400 --> 00:01:00,003
♪ You think there's not
a lot going on ♪
23
00:01:00,071 --> 00:01:01,372
♪ Look closer, baby ♪
24
00:01:01,373 --> 00:01:03,440
♪ You're so wrong ♪
25
00:01:03,491 --> 00:01:06,766
1x03 - None of Your Beefwax
26
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,662
I can't believe
as a farm community
27
00:01:08,696 --> 00:01:10,664
you're against eating
farm-to-table.
28
00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:14,234
Have you ever been to a farm?
That's no place for food.
29
00:01:14,235 --> 00:01:17,270
Have you ever read a label
on processed food?
30
00:01:17,272 --> 00:01:21,107
The label tells you what's in it.
You just wrote "jam."
31
00:01:21,109 --> 00:01:22,976
- Bit vague.
- I don't want to eat anything
32
00:01:22,977 --> 00:01:24,778
that hasn't gone to the city first.
33
00:01:24,812 --> 00:01:26,846
Why does it have to go to the city?
34
00:01:26,914 --> 00:01:28,315
The food doesn't come
out of the ground
35
00:01:28,316 --> 00:01:30,383
- with labels on it.
- That's it!
36
00:01:30,384 --> 00:01:32,519
I'm not eating another bite
from this place
37
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,287
unless I see the package
it was shipped in.
38
00:01:34,289 --> 00:01:37,757
As a vegetarian,
I have to agree with Lacey.
39
00:01:37,759 --> 00:01:39,293
But, uh, you're not
a vegetarian,
40
00:01:39,294 --> 00:01:40,593
so how are you going
to pull that off?
41
00:01:40,594 --> 00:01:44,230
I've been a vegetarian
for seven, no, eight days,
42
00:01:44,265 --> 00:01:46,533
so yeah, I know
what I'm talking about.
43
00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:48,768
The environmental impact
of the meat industry
44
00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:52,393
along with its economic...
and I'm alone.
45
00:01:53,507 --> 00:01:56,876
Weird. This comic book's main
character is barely in this one.
46
00:01:56,877 --> 00:01:58,577
Maybe he isn't
the main character.
47
00:01:58,579 --> 00:02:00,480
Maybe it's more of an ensemble.
48
00:02:00,514 --> 00:02:03,677
Maybe there's too many characters.
[door opening]
49
00:02:03,712 --> 00:02:05,852
Great, more characters.
Hey, Davis.
50
00:02:05,853 --> 00:02:07,288
What's with the red welts?
51
00:02:07,289 --> 00:02:09,323
- You get stung by a bunch of bees?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:09,324 --> 00:02:11,558
- Oh.
- I'm a beekeeper now.
53
00:02:11,559 --> 00:02:12,892
Just not a very good one.
54
00:02:12,893 --> 00:02:15,695
So what's the bee story?
Unless it's a long story.
55
00:02:15,696 --> 00:02:18,397
- A couple of weeks ago...
- Boring!
56
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,266
I was thinking about
getting a guard dog.
57
00:02:20,334 --> 00:02:22,503
Except he's not home enough
to keep a dog.
58
00:02:22,504 --> 00:02:25,972
So I got the next best thing...
guard bees.
59
00:02:25,973 --> 00:02:27,507
Except that's not a thing.
60
00:02:27,508 --> 00:02:29,409
Plus, there are, like,
a thousand of them.
61
00:02:29,443 --> 00:02:31,211
More bang for your buck.
62
00:02:31,245 --> 00:02:33,780
The only drawback
is this stupid wax.
63
00:02:33,848 --> 00:02:35,849
Hey, mind your bees' wax!
64
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:38,451
You know there are easier
ways to get honey, right?
65
00:02:38,519 --> 00:02:40,887
Like walking halfway
down that aisle.
66
00:02:40,921 --> 00:02:44,224
Actually, we're out of honey.
That delivery hasn't come in yet.
67
00:02:44,258 --> 00:02:46,393
Geez, I didn't even
think about the honey.
68
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,528
I got them strictly
for home defense.
69
00:02:48,562 --> 00:02:50,764
All right! I'm going to
go home and name them.
70
00:02:50,765 --> 00:02:53,900
I wonder how many of them
he'll name "Buzz."
71
00:02:56,303 --> 00:02:58,905
- Hey, cool, what's that?
- An iguanodon.
72
00:02:58,906 --> 00:03:00,573
Oh, I thought it was a dinosaur.
73
00:03:00,574 --> 00:03:02,956
[imitates growling]
74
00:03:03,544 --> 00:03:07,814
Hmm. "Lavender helps
bees produce honey."
75
00:03:07,882 --> 00:03:11,651
Oh, Jeeves, you old stuffed shirt,
you've done it again!
76
00:03:11,852 --> 00:03:15,622
Okay, you guys
like lavender so much?
77
00:03:15,656 --> 00:03:16,589
Go get it!
78
00:03:16,590 --> 00:03:17,524
[buzzing]
79
00:03:17,525 --> 00:03:18,658
Aah! Aah!
80
00:03:18,659 --> 00:03:20,693
Heel! Heel, boys!
Sit!
81
00:03:20,694 --> 00:03:23,263
Less... stingy... ways
82
00:03:23,297 --> 00:03:26,800
to increase...
honey... production.
83
00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:29,736
"Use more bees."
Oh.
84
00:03:29,737 --> 00:03:31,604
How do I get more bees?
85
00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:32,839
["Sexy" playing]
86
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:38,790
Now, everyone, find a partner,
cozy up, and get beezy...
87
00:03:39,346 --> 00:03:43,216
and remember, always use protection.
88
00:03:43,284 --> 00:03:47,454
No!
Don't use protection.
89
00:03:49,523 --> 00:03:51,591
That'll be $10.50.
90
00:03:51,593 --> 00:03:54,961
- Hey, how much for the candle?
- It's not a candle, genius.
91
00:03:54,962 --> 00:03:56,763
It's a gob of wax
shaped like a dinosaur.
92
00:03:56,797 --> 00:03:59,766
Too bad. I'd definitely
pay way too much money
93
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,601
for something like that.
94
00:04:04,939 --> 00:04:07,841
[Wanda] Get your
beeswax dinosaur candles!
95
00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:09,809
[gasps] These are great.
96
00:04:09,844 --> 00:04:12,846
Can you make a triceratops
with three wicks?
97
00:04:12,847 --> 00:04:17,149
Can I? Does an ankylosaurus
have a club tail?
98
00:04:18,085 --> 00:04:20,353
It does, and I can.
99
00:04:22,389 --> 00:04:24,524
- I need more wax.
- I can't.
100
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:27,660
It's sexy time, and I don't
want to disturb the bees.
101
00:04:27,695 --> 00:04:28,795
So that's how it is?
102
00:04:28,796 --> 00:04:31,698
The first glob is free,
then whammo, I'm hooked?!
103
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,500
Oops.
104
00:04:35,402 --> 00:04:39,372
My bees aren't getting busy!
Wonder what the problem is.
105
00:04:41,976 --> 00:04:43,676
[bee] Oh, Your Highness...
106
00:04:43,711 --> 00:04:46,946
thank you for allowing me
into your boudoir.
107
00:04:46,948 --> 00:04:50,283
Do you think you're ready
for this royal jelly?
108
00:04:50,351 --> 00:04:52,519
You know I am.
[laughing]
109
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,688
Aah! The giant
floating head is back!
110
00:04:55,723 --> 00:04:57,023
Every man for himself!
111
00:04:57,024 --> 00:04:59,058
Get back here.
Protect your queen!
112
00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:00,660
Up yours!
113
00:05:00,661 --> 00:05:04,096
Thanks for the pollen block,
jerk face.
114
00:05:05,032 --> 00:05:08,768
Nah, I can't be the problem.
I have a sexy face.
115
00:05:12,473 --> 00:05:14,173
Mm.
116
00:05:15,976 --> 00:05:17,377
Hey, what's today's special?
117
00:05:17,378 --> 00:05:20,480
- Isn't it obvious?
- I didn't want to assume.
118
00:05:20,481 --> 00:05:22,015
Those could be your own
personal burgers.
119
00:05:22,016 --> 00:05:24,083
Jughead may have phoned in
an order.
120
00:05:24,151 --> 00:05:26,052
This burger is delicious.
121
00:05:26,086 --> 00:05:29,355
Almost makes up for you trying
to poison us this morning.
122
00:05:29,357 --> 00:05:31,658
- She did what?
- Well, that's interesting,
123
00:05:31,659 --> 00:05:33,426
because what you're eating
is local beef!
124
00:05:33,460 --> 00:05:35,461
[spitting]
125
00:05:35,496 --> 00:05:37,363
But you all just liked it.
126
00:05:37,365 --> 00:05:38,898
Come on, Oscar,
take one more bite.
127
00:05:38,899 --> 00:05:42,101
- Not on your life.
- I'll take his.
128
00:05:42,102 --> 00:05:44,571
No son of mine is
going to eat local!
129
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:45,905
I'll pass on the burgers too.
130
00:05:45,906 --> 00:05:47,541
I'm not sure if I
mentioned this...
131
00:05:47,542 --> 00:05:48,709
[all] You have.
132
00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:51,344
I'm a vegetarian,
so, I'm choosing to have
133
00:05:51,345 --> 00:05:54,547
- a delicious legume medley.
- Malicious legroom melody?
134
00:05:54,582 --> 00:05:57,885
- I said "delicious legume medley."
- That makes less sense.
135
00:05:57,886 --> 00:06:00,653
You know, I do have
vegetarian options on the menu.
136
00:06:00,654 --> 00:06:03,723
All right, I'll have one
of your vegetarian options.
137
00:06:03,757 --> 00:06:04,824
Actually, we're all out.
138
00:06:04,825 --> 00:06:06,726
My deliveries
haven't shown up today.
139
00:06:06,728 --> 00:06:09,128
That's weird. I haven't gotten
my deliveries today either.
140
00:06:09,129 --> 00:06:11,356
Hey, Hank,
want the lunch special?
141
00:06:11,391 --> 00:06:14,467
I have no time for specials, Lacey.
Carlene is missing.
142
00:06:14,468 --> 00:06:16,803
Oh, no!
That's terrible.
143
00:06:16,837 --> 00:06:19,072
- Who's Carlene?
- How long have you lived here?
144
00:06:19,073 --> 00:06:22,609
She's the cow from Lawson's
farm, and she's not at her post.
145
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,744
Well, I don't remember
seeing any cow,
146
00:06:24,778 --> 00:06:26,478
and I was just up at Lawson's yesterday
147
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,615
buying this... [gasps]
beef.
148
00:06:28,616 --> 00:06:30,383
[all gasping]
149
00:06:30,385 --> 00:06:32,919
Oh, my God,
we're eating Carlene!
150
00:06:32,953 --> 00:06:36,089
- Why do I even try?
- The real question is...
151
00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:38,057
why would you kill Carlene?
152
00:06:40,162 --> 00:06:42,180
[whistling]
153
00:06:42,181 --> 00:06:44,198
Hey, what the...?
154
00:06:44,232 --> 00:06:46,634
Is that honey?
155
00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:49,056
The wax is gone!
156
00:06:49,057 --> 00:06:52,559
Why would someone
steal my beeswax?
157
00:06:52,594 --> 00:06:55,095
Karen!
To the garden, quick!
158
00:06:55,096 --> 00:06:56,730
There's been a wax theft!
159
00:06:56,731 --> 00:07:00,834
Possible guard bees down.
Guard bees down!
160
00:07:00,869 --> 00:07:03,270
And bring
some walkie-talkie cleaner.
161
00:07:04,172 --> 00:07:06,039
Hey. Where'd you get
all that wax from?
162
00:07:06,074 --> 00:07:08,909
Oh, interesting story.
I stole it.
163
00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:10,844
Wow, you spin a hell of a yarn.
164
00:07:10,879 --> 00:07:14,381
I put Davis' bees to sleep
using a smoker and took it all.
165
00:07:14,382 --> 00:07:16,216
Eh. It's his own fault
for getting me hooked.
166
00:07:16,251 --> 00:07:20,135
Yeah, seems fair, provided
I'm not affected in the least.
167
00:07:20,722 --> 00:07:22,990
Hey, since when is our mop a rake?
168
00:07:23,024 --> 00:07:27,629
- Where's all the strings?
- Quit complaining. Free rake!
169
00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:29,229
[Lacey] Okay, sure,
170
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:32,065
these burgers are most likely
made of Carlene...
171
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,200
[Hank sobbing]
172
00:07:33,201 --> 00:07:34,268
But they're already made,
173
00:07:34,269 --> 00:07:36,203
and everyone said
they were delicious.
174
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:38,238
[Hank wailing]
175
00:07:38,273 --> 00:07:41,454
She was just a cow, Hank.
[blowing nose]
176
00:07:41,489 --> 00:07:43,811
She wasn't just a cow, Lacey.
177
00:07:43,845 --> 00:07:46,514
- She was Carlene.
- The cow.
178
00:07:46,515 --> 00:07:49,082
Hang on, that's why we
haven't got our deliveries.
179
00:07:49,083 --> 00:07:50,884
You're serving up our road sign.
180
00:07:50,886 --> 00:07:53,855
I'll probably regret this question,
but what are you talking about?
181
00:07:53,856 --> 00:07:56,690
All the truckers know the
fastest way into Dog River
182
00:07:56,691 --> 00:08:00,060
is to take Rural Route 9
and turn left at "the cow."
183
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:03,297
- No cow means no deliveries.
- That makes no sense.
184
00:08:03,331 --> 00:08:07,000
Nor does your dad showing up in
sweatpants, and yet, here he is.
185
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:10,637
They're stretchy,
and I got work to do.
186
00:08:12,373 --> 00:08:13,974
I don't mean to trick
you again, Oscar,
187
00:08:13,975 --> 00:08:16,577
but you do know those
are Carlene burgers?
188
00:08:16,611 --> 00:08:20,914
Of course! Why do you think
I'm wearing my revenge pants?
189
00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:24,201
[chomps] For 13 years,
I've been waiting to get back
190
00:08:24,202 --> 00:08:26,086
at that stuck-up cow.
191
00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,599
_
192
00:08:32,126 --> 00:08:35,763
Moo.
[chuckles]
193
00:08:35,797 --> 00:08:40,767
I said...
Moo!
194
00:08:40,802 --> 00:08:43,337
Why, you stuck-up...
195
00:08:43,371 --> 00:08:46,006
I've never been so insulted.
196
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,008
So you're spite-eating Carlene
197
00:08:48,042 --> 00:08:51,613
- because she didn't moo back at you?
- See? She gets me.
198
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,347
Well, if we're all
eating burgers again...
199
00:08:53,414 --> 00:08:54,414
[slapping]
200
00:08:54,415 --> 00:08:55,682
Okay, what the hell?!
201
00:08:55,683 --> 00:08:58,785
They're all mine!
This is personal.
202
00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:05,125
I'm starting to question
the guarding abilities of my bees.
203
00:09:05,159 --> 00:09:07,160
They couldn't even
guard their own wax.
204
00:09:07,195 --> 00:09:10,330
Well, bees were a weird choice
for home security.
205
00:09:10,365 --> 00:09:13,367
All it takes to get past them
is a smoker.
206
00:09:13,401 --> 00:09:16,837
Wait a minute.
I know who took my wax!
207
00:09:17,031 --> 00:09:20,030
- I'm on to you.
- [Wanda] No, you're not,
208
00:09:20,065 --> 00:09:21,352
and I don't know
what you're talking about.
209
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,937
How's it going, Zeke?
210
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:26,106
Get yourself a fresh
new pack of smokes?
211
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:30,544
- Yeah, and a dinosaur candle.
- This isn't about candles.
212
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:34,981
It's about wax, and you're
the biggest smoker in town.
213
00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:38,118
Admit it, you stole my wax!
214
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,455
- I-I don't know what you're...
- You sadistic son of a bitch!
215
00:09:41,522 --> 00:09:44,858
There's a toasty corner in Hell
for wax thieves like you!
216
00:09:44,892 --> 00:09:48,228
Thanks, Wanda.
You're coming with me.
217
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,264
- Hey, Zeke.
- Come on!
218
00:09:51,265 --> 00:09:53,967
We really need to figure out
this Carlene situation.
219
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:57,104
I'm hungry,
but I can't trust the food in town.
220
00:09:57,171 --> 00:09:58,840
Why don't you eat the
food in your house?
221
00:09:58,841 --> 00:10:00,207
I don't know
how long it's been there.
222
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,608
I'm worried it's all turned local.
223
00:10:01,609 --> 00:10:04,277
We should just put another cow
in Carlene's spot.
224
00:10:04,278 --> 00:10:06,913
That'd be confusing
slash-disrespectful.
225
00:10:06,948 --> 00:10:11,284
- How about a goat?
- What? No one turns at a goat!
226
00:10:12,954 --> 00:10:14,921
Have you ever turned at a goat?!
227
00:10:14,956 --> 00:10:18,391
All right, listen up.
In loving memory of Carlene
228
00:10:18,392 --> 00:10:20,594
and not wanting her meat
to go to waste,
229
00:10:20,628 --> 00:10:23,430
I give you
the best way to honour her...
230
00:10:23,464 --> 00:10:24,866
a chili wake.
231
00:10:24,867 --> 00:10:27,234
[murmuring]
232
00:10:27,268 --> 00:10:29,236
It's what Carlene
would've wanted,
233
00:10:29,270 --> 00:10:31,972
if cows could want things.
234
00:10:32,039 --> 00:10:35,042
Don't take a bowl!
Take a little bite and move on.
235
00:10:35,076 --> 00:10:37,244
The rest is between me and her.
236
00:10:37,278 --> 00:10:39,479
Oscar, there's plenty
of Carlene for everyone.
237
00:10:39,547 --> 00:10:40,914
Then let me at 'er.
238
00:10:40,915 --> 00:10:43,383
You're not the only one
with four stomachs, Carlene.
239
00:10:43,417 --> 00:10:45,418
[clatter]
Getting plenty tired of that game!
240
00:10:45,453 --> 00:10:48,088
Tough noogies, jackass.
She's mine!
241
00:10:48,089 --> 00:10:50,123
[munching]
242
00:10:50,158 --> 00:10:53,059
Bet you wish you could
moo at me now!
243
00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:54,594
[munching]
244
00:10:54,595 --> 00:10:58,265
You know, Oscar,
weird pointless grudge or not,
245
00:10:58,299 --> 00:11:01,635
it isn't healthy for one human
to eat an entire cow.
246
00:11:01,636 --> 00:11:03,203
You're pretty preachy
247
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:06,473
for someone who's been
a vegetarian for eight days.
248
00:11:06,474 --> 00:11:08,108
Nine, actually.
249
00:11:08,109 --> 00:11:10,510
Well, maybe not.
I accidentally swallowed a bug
250
00:11:10,511 --> 00:11:12,179
when I was out roller-blading.
251
00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:13,880
Not sure what the rule is on that.
252
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,916
Well, if we're not getting deliveries,
253
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:19,085
I guess I have to go to the city
and get other food
254
00:11:19,086 --> 00:11:21,221
that probably came
from around here,
255
00:11:21,255 --> 00:11:23,423
then went there, was processed,
256
00:11:23,457 --> 00:11:25,158
and packaged to come back here.
257
00:11:25,193 --> 00:11:27,627
[Hank] Yeah!
Go get packaged food!
258
00:11:27,628 --> 00:11:30,597
Pack-aged food!
Pack-aged food!
259
00:11:30,599 --> 00:11:32,232
Pack-aged food!
260
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,600
Pack-aged food!
261
00:11:33,601 --> 00:11:38,141
Pack-aged foo... oh, I
thought we were going longer.
262
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:42,175
At least I got one jar of honey
out of this harvest.
263
00:11:42,176 --> 00:11:43,743
I thought nobody
wanted local food.
264
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:46,513
Way ahead of you, partner.
265
00:11:48,616 --> 00:11:50,016
[grunting]
266
00:11:50,017 --> 00:11:52,018
Hey, Davis, call off your bees!
267
00:11:52,053 --> 00:11:55,689
- [Davis] Down, boys! Down!
- Hey, uh... I was thinking,
268
00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:57,991
maybe you two should
go to Carlene's corner
269
00:11:58,025 --> 00:11:59,392
to direct traffic into town.
270
00:11:59,393 --> 00:12:01,661
How do we know
which cars want to come to town?
271
00:12:01,662 --> 00:12:05,131
Uh, stop every car and ask them?
Duh.
272
00:12:05,132 --> 00:12:07,834
That sounds like a lot of work.
Karen, you do it.
273
00:12:07,835 --> 00:12:11,238
I wish I could help you, Hank,
but I'm a vegetarian now.
274
00:12:11,305 --> 00:12:12,706
What's that got to
do with anything?
275
00:12:12,707 --> 00:12:14,074
Just putting it out there.
276
00:12:14,075 --> 00:12:17,177
- You want traffic directed? You do it.
- Yeah?
277
00:12:17,178 --> 00:12:19,479
Dog River is that way!
278
00:12:19,513 --> 00:12:22,662
[horn blows]
Hey, slow down, lead foot!
279
00:12:23,199 --> 00:12:27,228
[action music]
280
00:12:28,556 --> 00:12:30,724
I... said...
281
00:12:30,725 --> 00:12:34,227
slow... down!
282
00:12:34,262 --> 00:12:37,497
[grunting]
283
00:12:37,531 --> 00:12:39,199
Why is he making those noises?
284
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,201
Shh.
Let him have this.
285
00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:43,136
[panting]
286
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,438
Ha!
Take that...
287
00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:47,641
[burping]
288
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:51,144
- cow!
- Okay...
289
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:53,380
so I'm starting to see Karen's point.
290
00:12:53,414 --> 00:12:57,103
Revenge-eating that much meat
can't be good for anyone.
291
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:58,752
[phone ringing]
292
00:12:58,753 --> 00:12:59,919
Hello?
293
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,838
[Brent] Hey, I'm just calling
to see if you've been able
294
00:13:01,839 --> 00:13:04,024
to find your way out of town
without Carlene as a landmark.
295
00:13:04,058 --> 00:13:06,694
Yup, I'm fine.
I'm just pulling into the city now.
296
00:13:06,695 --> 00:13:08,714
Get out of my lane, hipster!
297
00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:12,526
Uh-oh! There's a teen gang
being rude and inconsiderate.
298
00:13:12,527 --> 00:13:14,394
I've got to go.
299
00:13:14,428 --> 00:13:15,895
Yup, sounds like the city, all right.
300
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:18,198
I'll take one of your
wax dinosaur candles.
301
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,932
Hmm, I guess we're all out.
302
00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:23,303
- What kind of gas station is this?
- The kind that sells gas.
303
00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:26,576
Wax candle dinosaur station
is down the road.
304
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:34,186
- How far down the road?
- I didn't... it's not far.
305
00:13:37,005 --> 00:13:38,272
Listen...
306
00:13:38,273 --> 00:13:40,708
everyone thinks I'm in the city
picking up supplies,
307
00:13:40,709 --> 00:13:43,677
but what I've learned is,
if they don't know it's local,
308
00:13:43,678 --> 00:13:45,479
it doesn't make a difference.
309
00:13:45,481 --> 00:13:48,516
So can you promise me you're
going to keep this between us?
310
00:13:48,550 --> 00:13:50,818
I can promise you
I couldn't care less.
311
00:13:50,820 --> 00:13:52,653
Good.
Do you have fresh mushrooms?
312
00:13:52,655 --> 00:13:55,791
- The freshest!
- Ugh...
313
00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:57,057
[retching]
314
00:13:57,058 --> 00:13:59,711
Wow.
Maybe that's too fresh.
315
00:13:59,746 --> 00:14:01,444
You want some carrots?
316
00:14:01,445 --> 00:14:03,042
[spits]
317
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,478
I want some Dramamine.
318
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:09,670
- Uh, why is this wet?
- Best guess, donkey urine.
319
00:14:09,672 --> 00:14:12,940
- Worst guess...
- No, no. I'll take your best guess.
320
00:14:12,941 --> 00:14:15,782
[munching]
321
00:14:16,011 --> 00:14:18,512
Must keep...
eating...
322
00:14:18,514 --> 00:14:20,114
[laughing]
323
00:14:20,115 --> 00:14:23,350
prove point to...
dead cow...
324
00:14:23,852 --> 00:14:26,086
Okay, we've got to do something.
325
00:14:26,121 --> 00:14:28,155
He's still working his way
through that chili.
326
00:14:28,156 --> 00:14:31,525
Be a long time 'til it
works its way through him.
327
00:14:31,527 --> 00:14:34,261
Oh, God.
He's getting a meat rash.
328
00:14:34,262 --> 00:14:35,429
What can we do?
329
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:37,131
Why don't we make him
some lentil chili,
330
00:14:37,199 --> 00:14:39,967
and just tell him it's Carlene?
He'll never know.
331
00:14:39,968 --> 00:14:42,937
- Probably can't even see straight.
- Well, that was pretty obvious.
332
00:14:43,004 --> 00:14:45,172
I should have been able
to figure that out.
333
00:14:45,207 --> 00:14:48,008
But you didn't.
You needed a vegetarian.
334
00:14:48,009 --> 00:14:49,944
I don't anymore.
335
00:14:51,346 --> 00:14:54,215
These scented candles
smell like mop water.
336
00:14:54,249 --> 00:14:56,617
When I lit mine,
the flames went so high,
337
00:14:56,651 --> 00:14:57,651
it burned my house down.
338
00:14:57,652 --> 00:14:58,986
We want our money back!
339
00:14:58,987 --> 00:15:02,857
You can't return a used candle.
This isn't Amish Walmart.
340
00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:05,226
Okay, how about this,
how about this?
341
00:15:05,260 --> 00:15:06,894
Instead of refunds,
342
00:15:06,895 --> 00:15:10,575
I continue to sell you gas
at a reasonable price.
343
00:15:11,066 --> 00:15:13,701
[whispering]
344
00:15:13,703 --> 00:15:17,037
Majority rules.
We accept your terms.
345
00:15:17,105 --> 00:15:20,897
- But my house burned down!
- [scoffs] Your house was a dump.
346
00:15:23,778 --> 00:15:26,580
Boy, it's sure beautiful out here,
347
00:15:26,615 --> 00:15:29,149
and smell that fresh country air.
348
00:15:29,184 --> 00:15:30,618
[sniffs]
349
00:15:30,619 --> 00:15:31,819
Ugh!
350
00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:33,020
Does it always smell like this?
351
00:15:33,021 --> 00:15:35,389
Nope.
Sometimes it gets pretty rank.
352
00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:39,560
- But your produce is organic?
- Yup. Zero pesticides.
353
00:15:39,562 --> 00:15:41,262
Oh! [chuckles]
354
00:15:41,296 --> 00:15:43,998
Ooh!
Ooh...
355
00:15:43,999 --> 00:15:46,000
Ew!
Aah!
356
00:15:46,001 --> 00:15:47,234
[eagle screeching]
357
00:15:47,235 --> 00:15:48,719
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
358
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,871
[cat meows]
[eagle screeching]
359
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,640
Did that really just happen?
360
00:15:52,674 --> 00:15:56,278
They call it the food chain,
not the friend chain.
361
00:15:56,279 --> 00:15:58,145
[laughs]
362
00:15:59,314 --> 00:16:01,582
I don't care
about your life of crime,
363
00:16:01,584 --> 00:16:03,284
but I'm kiboshing
your candle crap.
364
00:16:03,285 --> 00:16:05,653
It's causing me
nothing but grief...
365
00:16:05,687 --> 00:16:08,222
and you're buying me
a new mop...
366
00:16:08,290 --> 00:16:09,523
and not for my birthday.
367
00:16:09,524 --> 00:16:11,959
I'm getting you jack squat
for your birthday.
368
00:16:11,993 --> 00:16:13,861
Now what the hell
do I do with all this?
369
00:16:13,895 --> 00:16:17,698
[Hank] Fitzy, if we don't act fast,
the town is going to starve.
370
00:16:17,732 --> 00:16:19,633
Don't be the mayor
that let that happen.
371
00:16:19,635 --> 00:16:22,369
- No one is going to starve.
- Okay, but, you know...
372
00:16:22,370 --> 00:16:24,705
several deliveries
might be delayed a bit,
373
00:16:24,739 --> 00:16:26,340
and it'll be on your head!
374
00:16:26,341 --> 00:16:28,809
I don't want people
to think I'm irresponsible.
375
00:16:28,811 --> 00:16:31,796
I guess the only logical thing to do
is to drain the town's
376
00:16:31,797 --> 00:16:34,648
emergency relief fund
to commission a statue of Carlene
377
00:16:34,683 --> 00:16:36,650
so people will know
where to turn again.
378
00:16:36,652 --> 00:16:38,953
Well, you two moops
just hit the jackpot.
379
00:16:38,955 --> 00:16:40,929
It just so happens that I'm building
380
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:43,891
a life-sized statue of
Carlene at this very moment.
381
00:16:43,892 --> 00:16:45,726
Very tasteful and respectful,
382
00:16:45,794 --> 00:16:47,661
with a memorial string in her head...
383
00:16:47,663 --> 00:16:50,764
and it'll only cost
one emergency relief fund.
384
00:16:50,832 --> 00:16:53,233
Holy macaroni!
Talk about luck!
385
00:16:53,301 --> 00:16:57,805
Oh... I've got to say,
your farm is the cleanest!
386
00:16:57,807 --> 00:16:59,023
We take pride in that here.
387
00:16:59,024 --> 00:17:02,009
- What can I get you today?
- I'd love some chicken breasts.
388
00:17:02,043 --> 00:17:03,110
Are they free range?
389
00:17:03,111 --> 00:17:05,912
You bet they are.
Here's one now.
390
00:17:08,383 --> 00:17:11,852
- Come on!
- [laughs] I know.
391
00:17:11,853 --> 00:17:14,254
Amazing they can scoot around
with no head like that.
392
00:17:14,289 --> 00:17:17,257
Anyhoo, want some milk?
It's still warm and thick.
393
00:17:17,258 --> 00:17:19,770
I really, really don't.
394
00:17:23,131 --> 00:17:26,700
Quick question... how long does
this nightmare usually take?
395
00:17:26,735 --> 00:17:30,104
She'll be free-ranging around here
another five or ten minutes,
396
00:17:30,171 --> 00:17:33,107
- but if you need to go...
- You had them in packages?
397
00:17:33,108 --> 00:17:35,976
Why didn't you just give me
one of those packages?
398
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,212
Didn't know you were in a rush.
399
00:17:37,213 --> 00:17:39,113
Argh!
400
00:17:40,215 --> 00:17:41,982
[screaming]
401
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:45,219
Well, it's official.
I'm out of the bee game.
402
00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:47,921
They just weren't making enough
honey, so I had to let them go.
403
00:17:47,922 --> 00:17:51,225
- I thought somebody stole them.
- Yes. They were stolen.
404
00:17:51,227 --> 00:17:54,161
So I had to let them go...
emotionally.
405
00:17:54,162 --> 00:17:58,008
That's too bad... and after
you made all those signs...
406
00:17:58,009 --> 00:18:01,041
_
407
00:18:01,236 --> 00:18:03,470
That's it!
Signs!
408
00:18:03,538 --> 00:18:05,439
I don't get why someone
would steal your bees.
409
00:18:05,473 --> 00:18:09,076
I know. What would you
even do with stolen bees?
410
00:18:10,245 --> 00:18:13,415
Hey, you want to buy a bee?
Ow! Ouch!
411
00:18:13,416 --> 00:18:15,883
They make great... ow...
pets! Ouch!
412
00:18:15,885 --> 00:18:19,153
- Dammit.
- Psst! Got any wax?
413
00:18:20,955 --> 00:18:24,324
It's working!
He's eating the lentil chili!
414
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,429
- What? Lemon jelly?
- Uh-oh.
415
00:18:27,430 --> 00:18:29,329
He heard us... kind of.
416
00:18:29,364 --> 00:18:32,366
Excuse me! I'd like to
make an announcement.
417
00:18:32,367 --> 00:18:34,334
You were right.
I was wrong.
418
00:18:34,369 --> 00:18:35,969
Local is gross!
419
00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:38,839
It's better not to know
where your food comes from.
420
00:18:38,873 --> 00:18:42,009
From now on, everything in here
comes from the city
421
00:18:42,043 --> 00:18:45,045
in a clean, brightly coloured box.
422
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,281
[all cheering]
423
00:18:47,283 --> 00:18:50,050
You don't want that, Oscar!
It's local!
424
00:18:50,051 --> 00:18:51,286
Are you crazy?
425
00:18:51,287 --> 00:18:54,788
That lemon jelly was the
tastiest part of that cow!
426
00:18:54,823 --> 00:19:00,094
Boom! That was actually
100% vegetarian lentil chili.
427
00:19:00,096 --> 00:19:01,796
What? How dare you?
428
00:19:01,797 --> 00:19:02,830
[stomach gurgling]
429
00:19:02,831 --> 00:19:05,299
Oh, geez...
I don't feel so good.
430
00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:06,533
I got lentil poisoning.
431
00:19:06,534 --> 00:19:11,106
Oh, please, the chili is fine.
This is my second bowl.
432
00:19:11,107 --> 00:19:14,775
Uh, Karen?
The lentil chili is over there.
433
00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:18,212
You're eating Carlene.
434
00:19:18,246 --> 00:19:20,414
[growling]
435
00:19:20,482 --> 00:19:24,751
Geez, bad week to be mopless.
436
00:19:25,754 --> 00:19:30,224
[Fitzy] And now the unveiling
of our new wax Carlene.
437
00:19:30,258 --> 00:19:32,526
It's not as big
as we thought it'd be.
438
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,596
Don't worry, everyone.
I called all the delivery people
439
00:19:35,597 --> 00:19:38,899
and told them to turn left
at the tiny wax cow...
440
00:19:38,933 --> 00:19:41,503
which I see now
was a total waste of my time.
441
00:19:41,504 --> 00:19:45,506
Wait, that's Carlene!
We thought we ate you!
442
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:49,032
Sweet, beautiful Carlene...
[groaning]
443
00:19:49,077 --> 00:19:51,513
Oscar was right.
You're a jerk.
444
00:19:51,514 --> 00:19:55,883
But if we didn't eat Carlene,
who did we eat?
445
00:19:55,884 --> 00:20:01,388
- You folks ate Marlene.
- No! Not Marlene!
446
00:20:01,389 --> 00:20:06,460
Moo!
[mooing]
447
00:20:06,494 --> 00:20:09,897
[chuckles]
Oh, Marlene, you're the best.
448
00:20:09,931 --> 00:20:14,101
As long as I'm around, no
one's ever going to eat you.
449
00:20:14,135 --> 00:20:17,271
[sobbing] No!
450
00:20:17,338 --> 00:20:19,039
Marlene!
451
00:20:19,073 --> 00:20:20,874
[sobbing]
452
00:20:20,876 --> 00:20:22,276
[mooing]
453
00:20:22,277 --> 00:20:25,407
Holy hell!
A talking cow!
454
00:20:28,354 --> 00:20:31,690
So things are back to normal, now
that Carlene is back at her post?
455
00:20:31,691 --> 00:20:33,092
Things are better than normal.
456
00:20:33,093 --> 00:20:35,660
I just talked Fitzy into buying
some signs for directions.
457
00:20:35,661 --> 00:20:37,062
We ordered them from the city.
458
00:20:37,063 --> 00:20:39,297
Oh, I thought it was just
food we don't buy local.
459
00:20:39,365 --> 00:20:42,067
Don't worry.
As soon as those new signs show up,
460
00:20:42,069 --> 00:20:45,170
we won't have to buy
anything local ever again.
461
00:20:46,439 --> 00:20:47,639
Hmm...
462
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,474
directions say turn left
at the tiny wax cow,
463
00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:52,577
but that's clearly
a normal-sized meat cow.
464
00:20:52,645 --> 00:20:54,446
Guess I'll just keep
right on driving.
465
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:59,351
Wait! This is her!
This is the right... [grunting]
466
00:20:59,418 --> 00:21:01,887
[sobbing]
[mooing]
467
00:21:01,888 --> 00:21:05,800
[music]
468
00:21:06,121 --> 00:21:10,743
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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