Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:02,523
DRE: Americans love charity.
2
00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:05,250
The only thing we love more than charity
3
00:00:05,305 --> 00:00:07,805
is being recognized for doing charity.
4
00:00:07,907 --> 00:00:12,410
I mean, Angelina Jolie has
a specific charity outfit.
5
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:15,574
Don't get me wrong...
she brings a lot of joy
6
00:00:15,652 --> 00:00:17,115
to children around the world,
7
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,769
but she also brings camera crews.
8
00:00:19,839 --> 00:00:23,011
And these days, everyone's
getting in on the action.
9
00:00:23,129 --> 00:00:26,113
Athletes wear their charitable
acts on their sleeves
10
00:00:26,215 --> 00:00:28,415
and cleats and mouth guards
11
00:00:28,517 --> 00:00:31,352
and those little
hand-drying-towel thingies.
12
00:00:31,454 --> 00:00:34,321
And everyone wore LIVESTRONG bracelets
13
00:00:34,423 --> 00:00:38,017
until Lance Armstrong
turned out to be a cheater.
14
00:00:38,096 --> 00:00:41,431
Every cause imaginable has a ribbon
15
00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:43,933
that people can wear
to show off their support.
16
00:00:44,035 --> 00:00:46,035
I don't even know what that one's for.
17
00:00:46,137 --> 00:00:47,670
He might just like ribbons.
18
00:00:47,772 --> 00:00:49,872
But despite America's obsession
19
00:00:49,974 --> 00:00:52,008
with getting attention for giving back,
20
00:00:52,110 --> 00:00:53,476
that's not me.
21
00:00:53,578 --> 00:00:56,045
I like to keep a low profile.
22
00:00:56,147 --> 00:00:58,481
Okay, maybe not with all my choices.
23
00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:01,517
But when it comes to charity,
I'm just not that guy.
24
00:01:01,619 --> 00:01:05,521
Congratulations, Dre.
You are our new charity guy.
25
00:01:05,623 --> 00:01:07,724
I don't think
I'm the right person for this.
26
00:01:07,826 --> 00:01:08,925
[SCOFFS] I'm sorry.
27
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,893
I didn't mean to make it
sound like you had a choice.
28
00:01:10,995 --> 00:01:14,397
♪
29
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,603
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:17,681 --> 00:01:20,382
♪
31
00:01:20,508 --> 00:01:22,408
Okay, so why me?
32
00:01:22,494 --> 00:01:24,728
Dre, seeing as you run
our urban division,
33
00:01:24,830 --> 00:01:26,797
and "urban" and "poverty"
mean the same thing,
34
00:01:26,899 --> 00:01:28,665
it feels like you're the natural choice
35
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:30,000
to lead our new campaign.
36
00:01:30,102 --> 00:01:31,935
So, is that supposed
to make me feel better?
37
00:01:32,037 --> 00:01:34,204
[CHUCKLING] Dre,
I don't care how you feel.
38
00:01:34,306 --> 00:01:37,707
Now, State Farm has hired us to work on
39
00:01:37,810 --> 00:01:39,776
their Neighborhood of Good website.
40
00:01:39,878 --> 00:01:42,179
It helps people give back
to their community.
41
00:01:42,281 --> 00:01:43,380
Well, I'm out.
42
00:01:43,482 --> 00:01:45,949
I already fulfilled my community
service requirements
43
00:01:46,051 --> 00:01:47,717
for freeing those turtles.
44
00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:50,187
Shame they couldn't
clear the highway in time.
45
00:01:50,289 --> 00:01:53,089
Well, I, for one, love giving back.
46
00:01:53,192 --> 00:01:54,191
I mean, how else are people
47
00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:55,525
supposed to know that you're rich?
48
00:01:55,627 --> 00:01:58,128
Plus, for every one
good public deed you do,
49
00:01:58,230 --> 00:02:00,497
you get to do three evil ones
in private.
50
00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:01,498
That's right.
51
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,133
Connor pulled a puppy dog
52
00:02:03,235 --> 00:02:04,701
out of the L.A. River last night,
53
00:02:04,803 --> 00:02:06,336
so watch your backs, people.
54
00:02:06,438 --> 00:02:07,771
Someone has a hall pass!
55
00:02:07,873 --> 00:02:08,772
[LAUGHS]
56
00:02:08,874 --> 00:02:10,640
I think giving back is great.
57
00:02:10,742 --> 00:02:12,309
It gets you into the sickest galas.
58
00:02:12,411 --> 00:02:15,312
Hey, remember that fete to end the
decimation of the rainforest?
59
00:02:15,414 --> 00:02:16,646
Oh, boy.
60
00:02:16,748 --> 00:02:19,049
You know what really got
decimated that night?
61
00:02:19,151 --> 00:02:21,184
♪ The dance floor, the dance floor ♪
62
00:02:21,286 --> 00:02:24,054
- [IMITATES TECHO BEAT]
- This is what I hate.
63
00:02:24,156 --> 00:02:25,455
It's not about giving back.
64
00:02:25,557 --> 00:02:27,457
It's about the parties
and how it makes you look.
65
00:02:27,559 --> 00:02:29,893
You... You always make it
about yourselves.
66
00:02:29,995 --> 00:02:32,295
Look, the Leslie Stevens Aquatic Center
67
00:02:32,397 --> 00:02:35,832
for the Leslie Stevens Swim Team
isn't about Leslie Stevens.
68
00:02:35,934 --> 00:02:37,133
- No?
- No!
69
00:02:37,236 --> 00:02:39,736
It's about those hardworking kids...
70
00:02:39,838 --> 00:02:43,306
Phelpsy and... Swimmy and Nemo and...
71
00:02:43,408 --> 00:02:45,141
Obviously,
I don't know their real names,
72
00:02:45,244 --> 00:02:46,510
but that's not the point.
73
00:02:46,612 --> 00:02:48,612
I went to school with a Swimmy Jenkins.
74
00:02:48,714 --> 00:02:49,613
He drowned.
75
00:02:49,715 --> 00:02:51,915
So wait. You don't give back
at all, Dre?
76
00:02:52,017 --> 00:02:53,817
No, I write plenty of checks.
77
00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:55,919
I just choose to do it anonymously.
78
00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:57,254
I do things anonymously, too.
79
00:02:57,356 --> 00:02:58,688
I just make sure to have an alibi.
80
00:02:58,790 --> 00:02:59,856
He's... He's not joking.
81
00:02:59,958 --> 00:03:01,791
Okay, can we just all agree
82
00:03:01,894 --> 00:03:03,727
that we give in different ways,
83
00:03:03,829 --> 00:03:06,863
mine being the best,
and let's get back to work?
84
00:03:06,965 --> 00:03:10,000
So, people log on to
NeighborhoodOfGood.com
85
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,334
and type in their zip code
86
00:03:11,436 --> 00:03:13,436
to find a local cause they care about.
87
00:03:13,539 --> 00:03:16,318
Oh, look, there's a retirement
home near my house.
88
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:20,211
- DRE: Oh.
- My dad can never find out. Deal?
89
00:03:20,312 --> 00:03:22,479
♪
90
00:03:22,581 --> 00:03:23,813
RUBY: Hey, new driver!
91
00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:26,716
ALL: Congratulations!
92
00:03:26,818 --> 00:03:28,985
I failed to yield!
93
00:03:29,087 --> 00:03:31,288
How do you fail a driving test?
94
00:03:31,390 --> 00:03:34,090
It's not entirely his fault.
95
00:03:34,192 --> 00:03:35,292
Okay, son.
96
00:03:35,394 --> 00:03:36,893
Driving 101.
97
00:03:36,995 --> 00:03:39,296
Now, you mess up,
and you kill your father.
98
00:03:39,398 --> 00:03:41,498
And park!
99
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,900
Your other shoulder, dummy!
100
00:03:44,002 --> 00:03:45,068
[TIRES SQUEAL]
101
00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:47,437
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
102
00:03:47,539 --> 00:03:49,773
That cone, that was your mama!
Now she's dead!
103
00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:50,840
Aah!
104
00:03:50,943 --> 00:03:53,510
Don't worry.
You will get it next time, okay?
105
00:03:53,612 --> 00:03:54,578
All right, honey.
106
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,379
That's right, baby.
107
00:03:57,683 --> 00:03:59,182
- Hey!
- You don't want to eat that.
108
00:03:59,284 --> 00:04:00,650
Your mama made it,
109
00:04:00,752 --> 00:04:03,119
and you've tasted
enough failure for one day.
110
00:04:03,221 --> 00:04:05,055
Sorry I ruined the party, guys.
111
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,389
Don't be sorry.
112
00:04:06,491 --> 00:04:08,458
It's our fault for believing in you.
113
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:09,526
[BALLOON POPS]
114
00:04:09,628 --> 00:04:11,294
You did this.
115
00:04:12,264 --> 00:04:13,396
All right, that's enough.
116
00:04:13,465 --> 00:04:15,265
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
117
00:04:17,736 --> 00:04:19,235
I blew it, Grandma.
118
00:04:19,338 --> 00:04:23,473
Every teenager dreams about
driving their siblings around.
119
00:04:23,575 --> 00:04:26,309
With Zoey leaving, I wanted to step up.
120
00:04:26,378 --> 00:04:27,777
Now there's a power vacuum.
121
00:04:27,879 --> 00:04:30,046
Like when Jermaine went solo.
122
00:04:30,115 --> 00:04:33,783
Or like before Cersei Lannister
took over at King's Landing.
123
00:04:33,885 --> 00:04:36,319
Ooh, it's hard sometimes
to root for you, baby.
124
00:04:36,388 --> 00:04:38,755
Now, if you really want the little ones
125
00:04:38,824 --> 00:04:41,324
to respect you like they respect Zoey,
126
00:04:41,426 --> 00:04:42,659
you got to earn it.
127
00:04:42,728 --> 00:04:44,227
Try doing something cool,
128
00:04:44,329 --> 00:04:47,464
like teach them how to turn
a soda can into a pipe
129
00:04:47,566 --> 00:04:49,499
like my sister taught me!
130
00:04:49,601 --> 00:04:50,700
[CHUCKLES]
131
00:04:50,802 --> 00:04:53,069
Is Grandma's idea illegal now?
132
00:04:53,171 --> 00:04:55,372
It was never legal?
133
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,342
All I'm saying is do something
nice for the babies.
134
00:04:59,444 --> 00:05:00,377
Okay.
135
00:05:00,479 --> 00:05:01,845
You can die in war,
136
00:05:01,947 --> 00:05:04,714
but you can't smoke out of a soda can.
137
00:05:04,816 --> 00:05:08,118
So, Stevens put me in charge
of the campaign of giving back.
138
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:11,006
- Uh-huh.
- Then they judged me on how I give back.
139
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,477
I'm a generous man!
140
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,312
Yeah, Dre, you're generous.
141
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:17,782
I mean, it's usually
in the form of checks.
142
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,083
You don't really get involved.
143
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:20,318
And you do?
144
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:23,654
I spent two weeks fixing cleft palates
145
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,656
in Honduras last year.
146
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,091
[CHUCKLING] That's involved.
147
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,128
Oh, okay, you would think that
I would remember that, do...
148
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,829
Was this during March Madness?
149
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,464
- Ohh!
- Come on! No!
150
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:35,633
- [LAUGHS]
- No! Oh, man!
151
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:36,634
[LAUGHS]
152
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,569
Oh, hey, babe. How was your day?
153
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:41,105
My day? Dre, I've been gone
for two weeks.
154
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,774
You were supposed to pick me up
at the airport.
155
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,243
- Was I?
- No, I was.
156
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,712
You were supposed to pick up
the kids after soccer practice.
157
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:48,813
Ooh.
158
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:51,249
We had to cross a freeway!
159
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,050
All I'm saying is that giving your time
160
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,118
is very meaningful, Dre.
161
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,620
Like, maybe you can come with me
162
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,856
when I go down and volunteer
at St. Mark's.
163
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,726
Bow, you know I don't [Bleep]
with homeless people.
164
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,996
How can you have beef with
the world's neediest people?
165
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,999
I can't explain it, all right?
They just freak me out.
166
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,535
Kinda like the way you are
with grown people with braces.
167
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:12,837
You should have done it
when you were 10 years old.
168
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,305
You missed your window.
169
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,940
- It's disgusting.
- [SCOFFS]
170
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,643
Sweetie, just start small, you know?
171
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,745
Take a bag of clothes from your closet.
172
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,114
Babe! I wear all of my clothes.
173
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,650
You have six green jackets, Dre.
174
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,786
They're not just green.
175
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,156
These two are exactly the same.
176
00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:34,559
Well, this one is for a cool morning
177
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,460
that's gonna turn into a hot day,
178
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:37,962
and this one is for a hot day
179
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,764
that's gonna turn into a cool evening.
180
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,667
- Dre...
- Okay, okay, Bow.
181
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,202
Just one bag, all right?
182
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:47,071
But my green leather jacket
is off the table.
183
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,006
- Babe, this is green leather.
- Yeah.
184
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:52,510
You just don't find that. It finds you.
185
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,612
What are you do... What are you doing?
186
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:55,813
What are you doing?
187
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:56,981
I'm wearing it to bed.
188
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,851
Dr... You're gonna sweat, babe.
189
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,686
As I was hauling my ass across town
190
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:05,089
to prove how charitable I was,
it hit me...
191
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:07,325
if shelters really wanted help,
192
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,094
they would be more conveniently located.
193
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,830
But then the universe gave me a gift
194
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:17,134
in the form of a homeless man
who looked like a 46 regular.
195
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,905
I gave him everything.
196
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,474
♪
197
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,943
Except those limited-edition Huaraches.
198
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:28,112
I'm not Gandhi.
199
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:30,648
Listen up, siblingos.
200
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:34,185
Guess who's taking you
on an adventure tomorrow?
201
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,653
- Bah!
- [CAR ALARM BLARING]
202
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,822
That was the panic button.
203
00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:40,258
I cannot seem to turn it off.
204
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,326
But you can't drive us!
205
00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:43,794
You failed the test!
206
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,130
[BLARING CONTINUES]
207
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:47,398
Really?
208
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,432
[BLARING STOPS]
209
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,734
But I can drive you
210
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:53,004
if someone in the car is over 25.
211
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,006
And not to brag, but I know someone
212
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,208
who's significantly over 25.
213
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,010
Significantly?
214
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,745
I don't know who you
talking about, little boy.
215
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:01,746
Sorry, Grandma.
216
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:03,414
Mm-hmm. Now, listen.
217
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:05,917
When we are out in the streets
[CHUCKLES]
218
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,386
do not call me "Grandma."
219
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:10,321
Okay...
220
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,689
Big Mama J.
221
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,258
Got it, Big Mama J.
222
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,561
Who is ready to take a trip to...
223
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,463
[IMITATING DRUMROLL]
224
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,032
Why isn't he using the table?
225
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,133
I don't know.
226
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:25,436
...the California Science Center?!
227
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,138
Yeah!
228
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,606
- Why?
- Hard pass.
229
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:30,741
No. W-Wait. You haven't
even heard the best part.
230
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:31,876
We're not going?
231
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,578
No, they have an exhibit
called the Rot Room
232
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,515
where you can watch
a possum rot in real time.
233
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:40,551
Which part do you think
the maggots eat first?
234
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:43,187
Spoiler alert... it's the eyes.
235
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,623
- [RUBY LAUGHS]
- I get it.
236
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,092
The classic bait and switch.
237
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,394
Say you're doing something terrible
238
00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:53,798
but actually going somewhere amazing.
239
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,801
No, we're actually going
to the Science Center.
240
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,169
Okay, fine, baby.
241
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,538
Don't tell us where we're really going.
242
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:01,772
Is it SeaWorld?
243
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,308
Thanks for the ride, Dre.
244
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:06,043
I'm leaving my car at the office
245
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,713
so Stevens thinks I'm at work
all the time.
246
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,414
But won't he know you're not there?
247
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:14,218
Way to go, Charles.
Burning the midnight oil.
248
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,656
That CPR dummy actually got me a raise.
249
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,291
And it taught me CPR.
250
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,293
[INDISTINCT TALKING OVER RADIO]
251
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:32,236
♪
252
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:36,040
♪
253
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:38,209
Dre, do you believe that a person
254
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,544
can simultaneously be in two places,
255
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:43,147
effectively bending
the space-time continuum?
256
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,382
No.
257
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:47,151
Because you're right here,
but you're also over there.
258
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,020
[CHUCKLES] Oh, no, man.
259
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,489
That's just a homeless dude
I gave some clothes to.
260
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,791
I'm kind of a hero. No big deal.
261
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,793
No, no, no. It is a big deal.
262
00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,161
Especially when you find out
263
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,729
your secret twin walks the Earth.
264
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:00,931
Damn, he got that hat cocked just right.
265
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:04,735
Outdoor Dre puts together stuff
way better than you do.
266
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:05,903
Less matchy-matchy.
267
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,072
Ha! No, man, you're crazy, man.
268
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,640
That dude is nothing like me.
269
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:11,142
[LIKE DRE] Ha!
270
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,944
♪
271
00:10:14,544 --> 00:10:16,177
DRE: Can you believe that
there's a homeless man out there
272
00:10:16,232 --> 00:10:18,208
- that looks like me?
- What are you talking about, Dre?
273
00:10:18,271 --> 00:10:20,977
I'm talking about the man
I gave all my clothes to
274
00:10:21,039 --> 00:10:22,054
on the street this morning.
275
00:10:22,142 --> 00:10:23,207
You didn't go to the shelter?
276
00:10:23,309 --> 00:10:24,575
Of course I didn't.
277
00:10:24,644 --> 00:10:26,077
Nobody wants to go to a shelter.
278
00:10:26,179 --> 00:10:28,346
People in shelters
don't want to go to a shelter.
279
00:10:28,414 --> 00:10:31,582
So, you gave your clothes
to a homeless man
280
00:10:31,684 --> 00:10:34,218
and you're upset
because he's wearing them?
281
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,219
Yes!
282
00:10:35,321 --> 00:10:37,188
Most people feel good
283
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:39,390
when they help out the less fortunate.
284
00:10:39,492 --> 00:10:40,825
Think about it, Bow.
285
00:10:40,927 --> 00:10:43,528
If he robs a bank,
I go to jail for 10 years.
286
00:10:43,630 --> 00:10:45,329
If he skips out on tipping the barista,
287
00:10:45,398 --> 00:10:46,764
somebody's spitting in my drink!
288
00:10:46,866 --> 00:10:49,967
Yeah, those are two equally
terrible outcomes.
289
00:10:50,069 --> 00:10:51,502
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- See?!
290
00:10:51,604 --> 00:10:53,538
Hey, Janine.
291
00:10:53,606 --> 00:10:55,740
- Hey, Bow.
- Hey. [LAUGHS]
292
00:10:55,842 --> 00:10:57,575
Oh, I got to tell you something,
293
00:10:57,677 --> 00:10:59,076
and I don't know how to say it.
294
00:10:59,145 --> 00:11:00,711
Oh, well, then let's just skip it.
295
00:11:00,813 --> 00:11:02,857
- You know me...
- [BOTH LAUGH] Yeah.
296
00:11:02,904 --> 00:11:04,174
...and I don't like to get in
other people's business.
297
00:11:04,284 --> 00:11:07,118
I do not at all know that.
298
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:08,853
Gal to gal,
299
00:11:08,955 --> 00:11:11,989
there's something... you should know.
300
00:11:12,058 --> 00:11:15,359
I was getting my post-shrink,
pre-yoga coffee
301
00:11:15,461 --> 00:11:17,962
when I saw Dre passed out on a bench.
302
00:11:18,031 --> 00:11:20,831
I didn't touch him.
303
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:24,468
No, it's... it's not weird.
He's my neighbor.
304
00:11:24,571 --> 00:11:26,804
Janine, that wasn't Dre.
305
00:11:26,873 --> 00:11:29,440
Of course it wasn't.
I know all about denial.
306
00:11:29,509 --> 00:11:30,875
When I caught Bruce cheating,
307
00:11:30,977 --> 00:11:32,376
I told myself all kinds of things.
308
00:11:32,478 --> 00:11:33,911
You know, that it was just a fling,
309
00:11:34,013 --> 00:11:36,247
that his Instagram account
had been hacked.
310
00:11:36,316 --> 00:11:39,550
That it... That it wasn't my sister.
311
00:11:39,652 --> 00:11:41,185
- Mm.
- You know what?
312
00:11:41,287 --> 00:11:42,653
I'm here for you,
313
00:11:42,722 --> 00:11:46,357
as is the rest of this community.
314
00:11:46,426 --> 00:11:48,960
- What... I don't...
- What have you done, Janine?
315
00:11:49,062 --> 00:11:50,895
I think you're in a lot more
trouble than you believe.
316
00:11:50,964 --> 00:11:53,064
Like, you're in some deep,
deep, like, trouble,
317
00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:54,498
- like, deeper than...
- Yep. Okay.
318
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:57,134
Dre, there is a homeless man out there
319
00:11:57,237 --> 00:11:58,636
parading through the streets as you.
320
00:11:58,738 --> 00:12:00,738
Don't just sit there. Do something!
321
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,206
So now it's on because the white woman
322
00:12:02,308 --> 00:12:03,541
got you to see it my way, huh?
323
00:12:03,643 --> 00:12:05,176
- Exactly.
- Yep.
324
00:12:05,278 --> 00:12:07,445
Okay, I've got the Purell,
and the Purell you Purell with
325
00:12:07,513 --> 00:12:09,513
once you close the cap
on the first Purell.
326
00:12:09,616 --> 00:12:11,015
Let's get this show on the road.
327
00:12:11,117 --> 00:12:13,484
Zoey usually lets us listen
to the hip-hop station
328
00:12:13,553 --> 00:12:15,286
that doesn't bleep out the bad words.
329
00:12:15,388 --> 00:12:16,887
Well, I'll do you one better.
330
00:12:16,990 --> 00:12:19,790
I've got a podcast
about South Asian geopolitics
331
00:12:19,892 --> 00:12:22,159
that will blow your hair back.
332
00:12:22,228 --> 00:12:25,029
Hey, you're losing them fast.
333
00:12:25,131 --> 00:12:26,797
♪
334
00:12:26,899 --> 00:12:29,567
I had to do something
about my homeless twin,
335
00:12:29,669 --> 00:12:32,236
so I went to someone
who knows how to think
336
00:12:32,338 --> 00:12:34,038
outside the box.
337
00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:35,873
- What the hell?
- Sorry, Dre.
338
00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:38,743
I had to set up Chauncey because
I had to go to the bathroom.
339
00:12:38,811 --> 00:12:40,578
And then check out a movie. What's up?
340
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,880
Man, this homeless dude is in my head.
341
00:12:42,949 --> 00:12:44,282
I need to do something about him.
342
00:12:44,384 --> 00:12:45,516
Take him out.
343
00:12:45,618 --> 00:12:46,684
- What?
- Got it.
344
00:12:46,786 --> 00:12:49,253
I'm honored that
you would come to me, Dre.
345
00:12:49,355 --> 00:12:51,822
But know this... a time will come
346
00:12:51,924 --> 00:12:53,858
where I will demand
the same from you as well.
347
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,026
What? No.
348
00:12:55,128 --> 00:12:56,661
No, Charlie,
I know this sounds bad, man.
349
00:12:56,729 --> 00:12:58,829
I just need people
to stop thinking he's me.
350
00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:00,097
I'm not homeless.
351
00:13:00,199 --> 00:13:01,565
Oh.
352
00:13:01,668 --> 00:13:03,000
Maybe I should change up my look.
353
00:13:03,102 --> 00:13:06,170
No. You can't change up
your matchy-matchy look, Dre.
354
00:13:06,272 --> 00:13:07,738
That's your look.
355
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,175
Here you are in
dope bleached denim. Hmm?
356
00:13:11,277 --> 00:13:14,111
What about that wine-colored,
fur-collared bomber jacket, huh?
357
00:13:14,213 --> 00:13:15,479
- Yeah.
- And here you are,
358
00:13:15,581 --> 00:13:18,249
rocking head-to-toe Givenchy.
359
00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:20,084
And people said it couldn't be done.
360
00:13:20,186 --> 00:13:21,419
[SCOFFS] But I did it.
361
00:13:21,521 --> 00:13:22,820
You did that.
362
00:13:22,922 --> 00:13:24,455
I forgot I posted these pics.
363
00:13:24,557 --> 00:13:28,059
Uh, uh, you didn't.
It was on your wife's feed.
364
00:13:28,161 --> 00:13:30,594
And why did she stop posting
early-morning selfies?
365
00:13:30,663 --> 00:13:32,296
- What?
- Nothing.
366
00:13:32,398 --> 00:13:33,698
Get him some new clothes.
367
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,533
Swap them out for your old ones.
368
00:13:35,635 --> 00:13:37,001
That's not a bad idea.
369
00:13:37,103 --> 00:13:40,004
And neither is early-morning selfies.
370
00:13:40,106 --> 00:13:42,506
Just mention it.
371
00:13:42,608 --> 00:13:46,177
WOMAN: In the 17th century,
the Hmong people of Cambodia
372
00:13:46,279 --> 00:13:48,145
mostly stayed in the mountains
373
00:13:48,247 --> 00:13:51,148
to fend off the incursions
of the Hen Warriors.
374
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:52,550
Primarily...
375
00:13:52,652 --> 00:13:54,518
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
376
00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:56,253
- Who dis?
- MAN: Hey, Ruby.
377
00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:57,288
What are you wearing?
378
00:13:57,390 --> 00:13:59,056
I'm over here butt-ass naked.
379
00:13:59,158 --> 00:14:00,458
Excuse me, sir.
380
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,226
- This is a PG car.
- [LAUGHTER]
381
00:14:02,328 --> 00:14:04,161
No, no, no. I-It's a wrong number.
382
00:14:04,263 --> 00:14:05,663
Wrong number!
383
00:14:05,765 --> 00:14:07,598
I'll call you back, Francis.
384
00:14:08,835 --> 00:14:10,735
DIANE: What are you doing?
Where are we going?
385
00:14:10,837 --> 00:14:12,536
We're low on wiper fluid.
386
00:14:12,638 --> 00:14:14,071
Forgot to check before we left.
387
00:14:14,173 --> 00:14:16,974
I am sorry I put you all at risk.
388
00:14:20,313 --> 00:14:22,279
[THUD]
389
00:14:22,382 --> 00:14:23,280
Uh-oh.
390
00:14:23,383 --> 00:14:24,382
It's fine.
391
00:14:24,484 --> 00:14:26,217
You barely scratched the paint.
392
00:14:26,319 --> 00:14:27,718
I better leave a note.
393
00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:29,220
What are you talking about?
394
00:14:29,322 --> 00:14:30,888
I've seen Dad take off a side mirror
395
00:14:30,990 --> 00:14:32,790
with a shopping cart and not even blink.
396
00:14:32,892 --> 00:14:35,626
Hurry up so we can go to
the place I don't want to go to.
397
00:14:35,728 --> 00:14:42,299
♪
398
00:14:42,402 --> 00:14:45,770
Um. Well, uh... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
399
00:14:45,872 --> 00:14:47,471
guess we have to wait for him
to get back
400
00:14:47,573 --> 00:14:49,940
so I can explain it to him in person.
401
00:14:50,042 --> 00:14:51,642
Don't worry. I've got a podcast
402
00:14:51,744 --> 00:14:54,345
about the Armenian genocide, so...
403
00:14:54,447 --> 00:14:56,013
What is wrong with this dude?
404
00:14:56,115 --> 00:15:00,284
DRE: So was I stealing my stuff
back from a homeless man?
405
00:15:00,386 --> 00:15:03,087
Yes. But I was doing him a favor.
406
00:15:03,189 --> 00:15:06,857
My dope Gucci threads made him
a target on the streets.
407
00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:10,528
He's actually safer with cheap
sweats from a big-box store.
408
00:15:10,630 --> 00:15:12,596
But as I looked at his stuff,
409
00:15:12,698 --> 00:15:16,333
I realized this wasn't
just a homeless version of me.
410
00:15:16,436 --> 00:15:20,704
This was a real person,
a man who has a life.
411
00:15:21,774 --> 00:15:23,941
I'm moving, I'm moving, I'm moving.
412
00:15:24,043 --> 00:15:26,477
Hey, no, no, no, no. It's cool, man.
413
00:15:26,579 --> 00:15:27,578
It's cool.
414
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,713
Hey, uh...
415
00:15:29,816 --> 00:15:31,449
let me buy you a cup of coffee.
416
00:15:31,551 --> 00:15:33,317
You're not gonna talk to me
about God, are you?
417
00:15:33,419 --> 00:15:34,985
No, we straight, man.
418
00:15:35,087 --> 00:15:36,854
We cool. Just coffee.
419
00:15:38,952 --> 00:15:42,803
Look at this.
Whole bag of orange, 2 bucks!
420
00:15:42,874 --> 00:15:46,943
Look at this...
a concert t-shirt for 5 bucks.
421
00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:50,179
There's no "K" in Tyrese. Is there?
422
00:15:50,218 --> 00:15:53,683
Junior?! How did you not
notice this earlier?!
423
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:55,885
- What?
- It's bright orange!
424
00:15:55,987 --> 00:15:59,203
I-I saw it. I just thought
it was a super cool hubcap.
425
00:15:59,281 --> 00:16:00,847
We've been waiting around forever
426
00:16:00,949 --> 00:16:03,350
for someone whose dead body
is probably in that trunk.
427
00:16:03,452 --> 00:16:06,486
You know what? Forget it.
Let's just go home.
428
00:16:06,588 --> 00:16:08,288
Well, what about the Science Center?
429
00:16:08,390 --> 00:16:11,124
What's the point?
It closes in half an hour.
430
00:16:11,226 --> 00:16:14,060
Oh! SeaWorld's open till 9:00.
431
00:16:14,163 --> 00:16:15,629
We were never going to SeaWorld.
432
00:16:15,731 --> 00:16:17,497
I wasn't sure what I was going to say,
433
00:16:17,599 --> 00:16:19,065
but it turned out Greg and I
434
00:16:19,134 --> 00:16:21,067
had more in common than we realized.
435
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:23,737
- But the Fox Hill Mall was the spot!
- Yeah, man.
436
00:16:23,839 --> 00:16:25,906
I got caught shoplifting
at the Penney's there.
437
00:16:26,008 --> 00:16:28,942
- Me too!
- BOTH: Ha!
438
00:16:29,044 --> 00:16:30,877
Yo, thanks for the clothes, man.
439
00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:32,746
People are always trying
to give me some stained shirts
440
00:16:32,848 --> 00:16:34,447
or some old, off-brand sweats.
441
00:16:34,516 --> 00:16:35,982
Oh, well, you know,
at least you're getting
442
00:16:36,084 --> 00:16:37,584
some new off-brand sweats.
443
00:16:37,686 --> 00:16:38,652
Those are nice.
444
00:16:38,754 --> 00:16:40,387
They okay.
445
00:16:40,489 --> 00:16:42,289
But the stuff
you hooked me up with, man,
446
00:16:42,357 --> 00:16:44,224
made me feel good about myself.
447
00:16:44,326 --> 00:16:45,859
I'm glad it made a difference.
448
00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:47,260
It did, man.
449
00:16:47,362 --> 00:16:49,996
Hey, it's not every day
you get a Tom Ford blazer.
450
00:16:50,098 --> 00:16:53,033
[LAUGHS] I... I gave you my Tom Ford?
451
00:16:53,135 --> 00:16:55,836
[CHUCKLES] That was in the bag
to go to the cleaners,
452
00:16:55,938 --> 00:16:58,505
but, uh... enjoy.
453
00:16:59,608 --> 00:17:00,774
Ha!
454
00:17:00,876 --> 00:17:02,943
Ha...
455
00:17:04,513 --> 00:17:07,414
Hey. How was the Science Center?
456
00:17:07,482 --> 00:17:08,782
- We didn't even get there.
- What?
457
00:17:08,884 --> 00:17:10,817
We spent all our time at a gas station.
458
00:17:10,886 --> 00:17:14,621
I wanted to deliver a fun
and informative outing,
459
00:17:14,723 --> 00:17:17,290
but instead they got street oranges.
460
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:18,692
It was a total waste of a day.
461
00:17:18,794 --> 00:17:19,860
Mm.
462
00:17:19,928 --> 00:17:21,928
Well, not a total waste.
463
00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:23,697
Today, I learned more
from that gas station
464
00:17:23,799 --> 00:17:24,965
than I learned from Mom ever.
465
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,166
Hey!
466
00:17:26,268 --> 00:17:28,602
Yeah, she never lets us
get out and wander.
467
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,670
'Cause that's how kids get snatched!
468
00:17:30,772 --> 00:17:32,772
But there was so much
cool stuff in there.
469
00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:34,875
This thing is shaped like a tree
470
00:17:34,977 --> 00:17:36,476
and it smells like a tree.
471
00:17:36,545 --> 00:17:37,878
Plus, I got a t-shirt
472
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:39,679
and these Boost Mobile burner phones.
473
00:17:39,781 --> 00:17:40,847
Burner phones?
474
00:17:40,949 --> 00:17:42,649
Shh! We need those for a thing.
475
00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:43,850
Oh, good call. Good call.
476
00:17:43,952 --> 00:17:45,452
RUBY: I'll talk to you later, Francis.
477
00:17:45,554 --> 00:17:46,987
And put on some clothes.
478
00:17:47,089 --> 00:17:48,021
- Oh, Grandma!
- Huh?
479
00:17:48,123 --> 00:17:49,456
Will you chaperone again tomorrow?
480
00:17:49,558 --> 00:17:51,558
We want Junior to take us
on the freeway.
481
00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,226
Come on. Say you'll drive us.
482
00:17:53,328 --> 00:17:55,295
We have side bets going
to see if you'll cry, so...
483
00:17:55,397 --> 00:17:56,763
Mm...
484
00:17:56,865 --> 00:17:58,198
- I'm down.
- Yes!
485
00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:01,301
But that's a sucker's bet.
I'm definitely gonna cry.
486
00:18:01,403 --> 00:18:03,303
[LAUGHTER]
487
00:18:03,372 --> 00:18:05,705
I didn't tell Bow
about my shameless plan
488
00:18:05,807 --> 00:18:07,774
to steal a homeless man's clothes,
489
00:18:07,843 --> 00:18:10,310
but I did tell her
about my time with Greg.
490
00:18:10,412 --> 00:18:13,647
It was weird, babe.
We have a lot in common.
491
00:18:13,749 --> 00:18:17,117
We both hate the Lakers,
we both are fans of Tom Ford,
492
00:18:17,185 --> 00:18:20,186
and we both got our ears pierced
at the Fox Hills Mall.
493
00:18:20,289 --> 00:18:23,323
See? Doesn't giving back feel good?
494
00:18:23,425 --> 00:18:25,058
- Here's the thing, though.
- Hmm.
495
00:18:25,127 --> 00:18:26,059
It didn't.
496
00:18:26,161 --> 00:18:29,129
- What?
- It felt scary.
497
00:18:29,197 --> 00:18:31,364
He's just like me.
498
00:18:31,466 --> 00:18:34,100
Babe, a-a-and spending time
with him made me realize
499
00:18:34,169 --> 00:18:37,337
that my life could've gone
very differently.
500
00:18:37,439 --> 00:18:38,872
Sweetie, you can't think like that.
501
00:18:38,974 --> 00:18:40,807
It's hard not to.
502
00:18:40,909 --> 00:18:43,009
You know, when I was growing up,
503
00:18:43,111 --> 00:18:45,679
it felt like we were always
just one paycheck away
504
00:18:45,781 --> 00:18:47,013
from being homeless ourselves.
505
00:18:47,115 --> 00:18:48,114
Mm.
506
00:18:48,216 --> 00:18:50,417
One slipup, one missed day of work
507
00:18:50,519 --> 00:18:52,218
and we would have been in that shelter.
508
00:18:52,321 --> 00:18:53,520
Mm.
509
00:18:53,622 --> 00:18:55,555
I guess that's why I don't
[Bleep] with the homeless.
510
00:18:55,657 --> 00:18:57,891
Okay, there has got to be
511
00:18:57,993 --> 00:18:59,993
- a better way for you to say that.
- It...
512
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,161
And I know it's awkward,
513
00:19:01,229 --> 00:19:04,497
but maybe because you do relate,
514
00:19:04,599 --> 00:19:06,399
you could make more of a difference.
515
00:19:06,501 --> 00:19:08,101
- You're right.
- Mm-hmm.
516
00:19:08,203 --> 00:19:09,903
And it did feel good
not to be anonymous.
517
00:19:10,005 --> 00:19:12,839
Right? Listen.
518
00:19:12,941 --> 00:19:15,575
- When I went to Tegucigalpa...
- Mm-hmm.
519
00:19:15,677 --> 00:19:18,178
...and I saw the faces
of those needy children...
520
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,513
Babe, we're still talking about me.
521
00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:21,614
- Oh, wow.
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
522
00:19:21,717 --> 00:19:22,849
- Hel...
- [STAMMERS]
523
00:19:22,951 --> 00:19:24,718
[WHISPERS] Don't... Don't say anything.
524
00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:25,819
- What?
- Shh.
525
00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:28,221
JANINE: Bow, Dre?
I-I know you're in there.
526
00:19:28,323 --> 00:19:30,857
I made you some lasagna,
seeing as how you guys...
527
00:19:30,959 --> 00:19:33,426
- Oh, my God, this woman.
- ...are in a super bad place right now.
528
00:19:33,528 --> 00:19:35,128
- I don't.
- It's still real hot.
529
00:19:35,230 --> 00:19:37,364
- Baby, I don't eat red meat.
- It's p-piping hot, actually.
530
00:19:37,466 --> 00:19:38,765
- I'm just gonna set it here on your...
- [BOTH STAMMERING]
531
00:19:38,867 --> 00:19:40,800
- ...your welcome... Ah! Oh, boy.
- [CLATTER]
532
00:19:40,902 --> 00:19:42,035
Okay, I dropped it.
533
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,937
- Okay.
- Top layer's a little wonky now.
534
00:19:44,039 --> 00:19:46,072
- She dropped it.
- Oh, there's marinara everywhere.
535
00:19:46,174 --> 00:19:48,708
- It's like a murder scene.
- Just leave it!
536
00:19:53,738 --> 00:19:56,129
Ugh, the trash is full.
537
00:19:56,336 --> 00:20:00,122
Who is throwing away
a perfectly good Tykrese shirt?
538
00:20:00,278 --> 00:20:10,185
♪
539
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,309
♪
540
00:20:11,379 --> 00:20:13,212
Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Get out of there.
541
00:20:13,266 --> 00:20:15,321
H-Hey, Janine. It's okay. It's me.
542
00:20:15,361 --> 00:20:16,393
Oh, hey, Dre.
543
00:20:16,495 --> 00:20:19,329
Oh, man. Bow said you'd fallen
on hard times.
544
00:20:19,432 --> 00:20:20,931
What was it? Gambling? Drugs?
545
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:22,966
Prostitution? An unholy trifecta?
546
00:20:23,069 --> 00:20:25,035
Thank you, Janine,
but we're doing just fine.
547
00:20:25,137 --> 00:20:27,438
Okay, I know. You don't want
charity, so I'm just gonna leave
548
00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:31,675
an untouched KFC family bucket
in the trash around 5:30.
549
00:20:31,777 --> 00:20:33,043
You guys like wings, right?
550
00:20:33,145 --> 00:20:34,378
- No, Janine, we're...
- You know what?
551
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:35,713
Beggars can't be choosers. [LAUGHS]
552
00:20:35,815 --> 00:20:36,914
God bless.
553
00:20:37,016 --> 00:20:38,582
The kids will eat anything
if they're hungry enough.
554
00:20:38,684 --> 00:20:40,284
You know what I mean?
555
00:20:40,386 --> 00:20:43,992
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
40884
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.