Original subtitles

- Oh, Sylvia.

- This is suicidal plagiarism.

- "Oblivion receding,

"the abyss opening,

"the screaming dirt of chaos

blinding."

- Strong meter, Amy.

Strong words.

- Thank you.

- Mazel tov.

Josh?

You're up next.

- Good.

I love your words.

This is Emerald Ambrosia:

An ode to absinthe.

Picture it with no punctuation, because there is none.

- I think we're the best poets on campus.

- Your turn. - Oh.

Whoa! - Yep, just...

If you yank it...

- You still a virgin?

- No, no, I'm not, actually.

- It's beautiful.

Your poetry is really beautiful.

It's like I can see inside of you.

- I want to be inside of you.

- Here?

- Mm-hmm.

- What was that?

- Nothing.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Just relax. Just relax.

- What are you doing? - Hey, take it easy, easy!

Come on! It's art!

Stop! Stop! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Amy.

Your dirt metaphor's a cliché.

And your poetry sucks.

- I hate that song.

- Me too.

- By the way, what a misogynistic pig.

You should have castrated that guy.

- I don't even care anymore, you know?

I'm resilient.

I'd like to share something with you.

"Amnesiac magazine grins,

"feeding from the mall,

"polyblend combustion burning

on the escalator to nowhere."

- Oh, my God, I think I just got my period.

- So haunting, so ahead of its time...

it's practically ancient.

1989.

- Shit.

- Soon we'll be free of this hellhole.

- As the days died early,

she longed escape from her cage.

- Thanks, mom!

- Here, honey. These were in the printer.

You have a lot of submissions.

- There's a small reading fee for a few of the reviews.

- Small? How small?

- Well, um,

a lot of the reviews have prizes.

Like, The Finger Lskes' prize is $1,000, and I'm a shoo-in.

I mean, you're only eligible if you're

an unpublished female poet

under the age of 25 from upstate New York.

So... hello.

- Hello!

- Hello.

- Dad, can I get some stamp money?

- Amy, you know we believe in your talent,

and we know how special you really are,

but, um, we can't afford

to subsidize your poetry career.

- Okay, I know it seems

like I'm not really doing anything right now,

but I am writing nonstop, all the time.

Things are pouring out of me

you wouldn't even believe.

I-I could have a volume of poetry in a week.

I mean, I'm feeling a lot.

I'm thinking a lot.

I'm... I'm inspired, Dad.

I'm inspired.

- Sweetie, you've got $90,000 in student loans,

and you've already spent a couple of thousand

on these submissions.

So we can give you an extension for another week,

but after that, no more.

We just... we just have to cut the umbilical cord.

So...

let's see what happens with those.

And there's some stamp money...

Just until you win the Pulitzer.

I love you.

- Thanks, Dad.

I will suffer through this.

I will suffer through this!

- So...

you majored in poetry.

- Yes.

- Twice a week would be wonderful.

I could pay you $4.25 an hour.

- It was a sign,

literally and figuratively.

- Hi, hon.

Need some help?

- No, I-I...

I didn't mean to come in.

- You come about the job?

- No! No, no, no.

No, not at...

Sorry. Sorry.

- It won't bite you.

- Oh!

Ew.

- Nope. Sorry.

We're not hiring. - I would be a real asset here.

I know everything there is to know about poetry...

Rat Billings is doing a signing here at this bookstore?

- Yeah, you like him?

- Like?

The Squalor of Splendor

is one of my favorite poems ever written.

- He was 18 when he wrote that.

It's the best thing he ever did.

He's a good training wheels poet

if you're not ready for the great ones yet.

- Rat Billings is the great.

Salinger worked in a meat processing plant.

- Stanley,

this nice young woman

has come in about the job.

- My friends know where I am.

Sorry.

- O-come on.

Go on. Don't be afraid.

- Got any experience working retail?

- Actually, no.

- Oh.

Are you at all familiar with our...

our inventory?

- More or less.

- Tell her about our insurance.

- Insurance?

Does this mean I got the job?

- We try to take care of our people,

so we provide some basic health coverage.

- Thank you.

- My darling.

- Pretty much a mom-and-pop operation.

Mary Ann likes to do the ordering.

- I know the merchandise better.

- I had a... I had a question.

When... when do I...

- You get paid on Fridays,

every two weeks.

- Great.

- Hi.

I'm Alex. I'm the manager.

- Amy. - Nice to meet you.

- And I'm Rick.

- Hi. - Rick.

We talked about this.

Rick doesn't work here.

And you should probably wash your hand.

I'm just kidding.

- Okay.

I got a job.

- That's great! - What?

- See, Todd? - Oh.

That's wonderful.

Welcome to the adult world.

- So aren't you gonna tell us what it is?

What are you doing?

- It's kind of an underground art magazine type of thing.

- I... I don't like you working downtown after dark.

- That's racist.

- I just want to take a minute to explain

our filing system here

called SPARFS.

It's, uh, sexual preference,

age, race, fetish, size...

kind of like the Dewey decimal system for erotica.

- Anyway, this, uh...

this one right here,

uh, they're old;

they're black; and they're gay.

But they wouldn't go in the "old" section.

They'd go in the "gay" area,

'cause they're gay.

Uh, that's the sexual preference.

- Oh, my God. - And then...

You know, and then it'd go in the...

the "old" section and then the "black" section,

uh, the "black" subsection of the "gay, old" section.

Anyway, like any great rule of thumb,

there are a few exceptions to SPARFS.

Uh, a green dot...

- Who puts on the dots?

- No one knows.

- It's a mystery.

It's really, really easy to remember.

- Sexual preference, age...

- Race, fetish... - Race, fetish...

- Size. - Size.

- I memorize it just, like, by the rap, you know.

And it's pretty easy to remember it that way,

if you do that.

- I'll... I'm doing it in my head.

I don't want to do it out loud.

- Uh, when this gentleman wants to check out a video,

you get his card.

It's got membership info,

uh, notes written by employees, et cetera.

- What are sticky video returns?

What?

- Really? Okay.

Uh, when that happens,

we give him a copy of our customer policies.

- Oh, my God.

- There you go.

Reread that. Thank you.

Here you go.

Bye. - Bye.

- Happy first day. - Thanks.

- Have fun with your esoteric reading.

- I'll see you tomorrow.

- Yeah.

- Bye. - Drive safe!

- Thanks!

- Hi.

Wow. It's an old one.

Got to be 20 years old.

Thank you.

- All right, who's next?

- Hello.

- Hello.

Hi.

- Uh, what's your name?

- Um, if you don't want to have your book signed,

can you just step out of the way so that people...

- Yeah, I... I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. - I got it. I got it.

Here.

I got it. I got it. I got it.

- No, I got it. - No, just...

Let me... let me just do this.

It's fine.

- Excuse me, Mr. Billings!

Hi.

I am an enormous fan,

like, crazy big fan of yours!

- Thank you. How are you? - It's so nice to meet you.

- We met inside.

- I mean, I... you remember!

- Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Um, I just wanted to say

that, you know, ignore the reviews.

Your new book is tremendous.

I mean, The New York Times really has no taste anymore.

- I know.

It's kind of a badge of honor, really.

- I just... I love your work.

I just want to smash your head open

and take everything in there.

- That's lovely.

- It really speaks to me. - What does it say?

- It says, "Wake up.

"Break free from the chrysalis of middle-class ennui

that's imprisoning you."

- You're paraphrasing, of course, huh?

- Yeah... wow, I can't believe we're bantering like this.

This is so cool.

- Life is surreal, kid.

- Your work... the first time I read it,

I remember it so clearly evolved me.

- What did it evolve you into?

- An artiste.

- Try not to use the pupa metaphor again, for the record.

- Um, you know...

I thought maybe we could get together sometime.

You can give me some advice

or let me know how you got started.

- Yeah, well, it's... it's... it's in the books.

- Well, maybe we can get a coffee.

- You know, I stopped drinking coffee

'cause my adrenal glands are totally shot.

- Maybe we can just talk poet to poet.

- Perhaps.

- You're an inspiration.

- You, my dear, are an apparition.

Au revoir.

Au revoir, Rat Billings.

Hey, hey!

That is not your...

Come back here!

Hey!

Shit!

Shit, shit, shit, mother, shit!

- Would you like personal lubricant

or a key chain to go with your sexist videos?

- That's very charming.

You sure you're old enough to work here?

- Yeah, I'm an adult. I swear.

- See you, Mary Anne.

- Bye, Roy.

- Later, captain.

- Policemen shop here?

- Sure.

Same as everybody else.

- Well, yeah, but they're policemen.

- So?

They're not doing anything illegal.

- Yeah, but he's a person of authority

participating in the subjugation of women.

- His wife was in a skydiving accident.

She plummeted 10,000 feet, and her chute didn't open.

Been in a coma for two years.

He rents porn to stay faithful to her

until Jesus takes her.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

- Oh, okay.

- A lot of people like the old-school feel

of browsing the real shelves.

Plus, we have a ton of vintage stuff you can't find online.

And the sex toys...

sometimes people don't want to wait

or have their mom open a FedEx box

with their Fleshlight in it.

- Oh. Who's on bathroom duty?

- Not I. - Not I.

- I am.

- You are.

- All right.

- The brush is under the sink.

- Oh, my God, there was...

- Anybody ever tell you it's rude to stare?

- I'm sorry.

I wasn't... I wasn't staring.

I was, but I didn't... I didn't mean to.

- So inappropriate.

- Hey. Be cool.

Amy's all right.

Amy, Rubia.

Rubia, Amy.

- Hi.

- So your shift's over.

- Do either of you guys know which bus goes to DeWittshire?

- Oh, perfect.

Of course that's where you're from.

- Why are you taking the bus?

- My car was stolen.

- Shit, are you okay?

- Pretty sure I'm traumatized.

- Man, I'm sorry.

I think the 515 goes that route.

- The 515 what?

- That's the bus route.

- Oh.

- Rubia,

you go that way, right?

She can show you.

- Oh, that'd be great. Really?

- I'm gonna rip your nuts off.

You know that, right?

Give me my battery, please.

- What is this?

- It's a battery.

- From where?

- A Cadillac.

You, like, paying your way through beauty school?

- What?

- Why you work at a porn store downtown?

- Oh, um,

I'm a poet.

- Get out. Seriously?

- I'm probably gonna get published pretty soon.

- "Writing shit about new snow

"for the rich

is not art."

That's, like, my favorite haiku.

- That's cool.

- Can I get my battery, please?

- Yeah.

- Gracias.

- This is where you live?

- Yeah, it's that glam building down the alley, number 666...

el diablo.

Back door, Becky.

- Good night.

Hey, you forgot something!

Powder.

Good night.

Riding the bus is like being in Mogadishu.

- Um, I've been on the phone all day,

and apparently someone canceled the theft policy on your car.

- Well, that is bizarre.

- I said, "That's a mistake,"

and then they sent me the signed letter of cancellation,

and it's a, um... it's a... it's a poem.

- That is a series of couplets.

Is that the mail?

The New Yorker.

Please, please, please, please, please.

Rejected.

- Amy, do you know how difficult this year has been?

Why do we keep getting student loan bills that are past due?

Why did you cancel the insurance on your car?

- I don't have enough money for car insurance!

- We give you money for your insurance,

and you spend it all on literary contests.

- It's an investment in my future.

- Stop being such a child.

- Everyone needs to stop calling me a child!

- You are a child!

- ♪ We thought you were an animal ♪

♪ It felt like a thousand years ago ♪

♪ At the bottom of a great black sea ♪

♪ Now it don't mean much to me ♪

- All right, this is my last stop.

- Okay, um...

you think you could drop me off where you dropped off my friend,

you know, um, the guy... the girl.

- Rubia?

- Yeah, that would be great.

- Rubia?

Rubia?

Miss Rubia?

It's me, Amy.

Remember?

Hello?

- Pst.

- My parents kicked me out.

- So why'd you come here?

- I don't know any other bus routes.

- Jesus Christ.

Come in.

- Thank you.

- You're not sleeping on my bed.

- That's... that's fine.

- Mm-hmm.

- I'll stay out of your hair. I promise.

What is that?

- It's crack.

- Oh, cool.

- I'm just kidding.

It's medical marijuana.

It's for my TMJ.

- Oh.

I don't do drugs.

- You a poet?

Take a hit.

You need to chill out.

Come on, Suburbia.

You're pretty.

- I'm a diva.

Out of my way, please.

- Sorry.

- Say something.

- You look like a cheap hooker.

Oh, my God.

I didn't mean to call you a whore...

I mean, a hooker... I...

You're not either.

- Shit, I do look like a hooker.

- I'm sorry.

I don't know why I said that stuff.

I think the drugs are talking.

- Ah, don't get cray.

At least I can trust you to be honest.

- My teeth feel so big in my mouth right now.

- It's just pot, okay?

It's not acid.

- Don't your teeth feel huge?

- Ginormous.

- And sharp... they're really sharp.

- You need to get them sanded down.

- Teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth.

- ♪ Took a long time to dig it ♪

- ♪ So, get your heels a-clicking ♪

crowd: We are the 99%!

- Candace! crowd: We are the 99%!

all: We are the 99%!

We are the 99%!

- Candace!

- Oh! Ha!

Oh, my God, you got my message!

- How are you? - I'm so glad you came.

- So good to see you. You look great.

- Oh, my God. Hey, Pablo, can you help her up?

Please come up.

- Okay, I'm getting up.

- One, two, three!

Oh, my God.

How are you? Oh, my God.

- It's so good to see you. - I'm so glad you're here.

- How are you?

- I'm so good. I'm so good.

After, like, Cuba and Darfur,

I just realized that this is where I needed to be.

You know what I mean?

In our own decaying country

instead of everywhere else.

- Right?

Well, great. I'm so happy for you.

- Right. Oh, my God. Sorry.

Pablo? Pablo, this is Amy.

- Oh, hi.

- Pablo and I met hiking across Ecuador.

- We met at the airport. - No, we didn't.

We met at Ecuador, with the organic chicken farm.

Remember?

- We met at the airport. - No.

He's so crazy. - All right, I'm gonna go.

I have to go. - No, no.

I have to go to work. - No, no, no, stop.

Come on. Join the movement.

- Maybe next time. - No, we need you.

- It seems awesome,

so, um, maybe next time.

But I'll see you this weekend. Let's get together.

- Love you. Good to see you.

- Nice to meet you, Pablo.

all: Hell, no, we won't go!

Hell, no, we won't go!

Hell, no, we won't go!

- Um, I gave you a $100.

$75.75?

- You're right. I'm so sorry.

I wasn't even thinking.

- Don't worry about it.

Everyone makes a mistake sometimes.

- There you go.

- Thanks.

- Enjoy.

- Awesome.

You okay?

- Every literary review in the country hates me.

- They don't hate you. I promise.

- Oh, they do. Look.

Rejection letters, all of them...

The New Yorker, Harper's.

Even the Southern Tallahassee Poetry Review hates me.

- I'm running out of time.

Can’t be a wunderkind past 22.

- A lot of great writers weren't even recognized

till after they died.

- I know.

Been thinking about that a lot lately.

- What do you think of that?

- I think it's horrific.

- The previous model, which didn't even talk,

sold like hotcakes.

- I'm really beginning to think that everything in this world

is cheap and plastic.

- Nah. These are high-quality.

It says so right on the box there.

"Voice activation is initiated

by penetrating one of the three lifelike cavities."

- Do you want to do the honors?

- I don't want to touch her.

No.

- Up and to the right, right?

Do you know? I don't know.

I think that's what I remember, but I...

- Can you please stop doing that?

- Ahh! - Oh, God!

- Oh, my God!

- Give it to me.

Oh, yeah.

Give it to me good.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Give it to me good.

- It sounds like your dad.

- Ew!

This is just so not how my life was supposed to turn out.

I was supposed to do great things.

I mean, I got good grades.

I won awards.

I stayed true to my art

and didn't let myself get distracted

by all that trivial stuff.

- Like what?

- You know, like, guys and stuff.

- Wait.

Never?

You a virgin?

You work at a porn store, surrounded by dildos,

and you're a virgin?

- I assure you, the irony isn't lost to me.

- Well...

you need to find somebody to help you along

and teach you shit, you know, somebody with connections.

I had someone...

Miss Ruwana Sykes.

She was a wonderful woman.

She taught me everything I know...

how to sing from my diaphragm,

how to walk, how to love,

how to tuck my john.

- She passed away.

- I'm sorry.

- I still feel like an orphan.

Go to bed.

Wow! A blizzard!

- I need a letter from a past landlord.

That's such a crock.

- Well, you should ask your dad for a letter or something.

- Yeah, right.

Maybe you can pretend to be my mom or something.

- No, I could be your sister.

You know, I'm 19 on Craigslist, right?

- Oh, my God.

It's Rat Billings.

- Who's that? - My favorite poet in the world.

I'm obsessed with him. - Yeah, go talk to him.

What are you doing? Why are you hiding?

Hey, bubby, how you doing?

- How you doing, sugar mouth?

- Ooh, brown-bagging it.

You a thug.

- You know, girl.

- What are you doing? Stop doing that.

No, no, no, no, no. You can't steal that.

- We just found you a mentor, girl.

- Oh, God, this is a bad idea.

- Ahh!

- So who is this guy?

What's the story?

- He's dark, and he's brooding.

You would think he was so sexy. - Uh-huh.

Seriously? - Seriously.

- He kind of looked like Dracula to me.

- Well, that's kind of hot, though, don't you think?

- Ooh, my thighs are gonna get real after this.

Oh, my God, hold on.

Hold on.

- Ahh.

Aah.

Come on. Keep going.

- I'm trying. Oh, my God.

I'm just trying to help.

- We're gonna lose him. - No, I got this.

We're not gonna lose him.

We're not gonna lose him, Amy.

We're not gonna lose you!

He's turning.

Here it is.

This is it.

Go.

Go. Just... I believe in you.

You can do it. - No, you're right.

- Wait a second. Wait a second.

Let me clean you up.

Go. - Carpe diem.

Hi. Excuse me.

- Hi. - I'm Amy, the... the poet...

- Oh, yeah. - From the other day?

Um... - I do. I remember that, yeah.

- I was just in the neighborhood,

and I thought I would stop by and say hi, and...

- How did you find out where I live?

- Well, you-I saw you driving.

- Oh. - Um...

- Did Leyner put you up to this?

Did Mark... did... is this...

Come on.

- No. - What do you want?

- Um... okay.

I was wondering if maybe you would be willing

to read some of my poetry.

- You're a writer.

- Yes, I am, and I... - Oh.

- I'm really good, and I just...

- Been writing long?

- I've been writing my entire life, to be honest.

- That long, huh?

- Yeah, um... - Great, great.

Okay.

- You're my favorite living poet, I just want to say.

- Thank you.

- You'd be my favorite dead poet too,

but obviously you're not dead yet.

I mean... sorry. - No, no.

Working on that, though.

- Um, thank you so much.

I'm gonna bring some of my work by.

I'll just drop it off.

- Or I can read it online.

- You know, I'm just gonna come drop it by.

It's no problem. I'll just come drop it by.

Is everything okay?

Are you thinking?

- Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking.

- Well, what were you thinking?

- I was thinking you'd be the type of muse I'd get.

- No, a... are you serious?

- I mean, I meant that sarcastically, okay?

Don't stand out here when I close the fucking door.

- Okay.

Muse?

- Here you go... first paycheck.

- Social security, taxes, Medicare...

how am I supposed to afford rent with this?

- I don't know, but figure it out.

- Are you kicking me out?

- Yes. - No.

- I don't mean to offend you.

I mean, I'm sorry.

- Why?

- I can't host with you there, Amy.

You're kind of a pain in my ass,

and I don't mean that in a good way.

- Don't you like having me there?

- No.

- Why?

- You talk like, like...

like how you talk.

- Talk like what?

- Talk like what?

Like that.

Just...

get a real roommate, okay?

- Hi.

- No pets,

no rap music, no parties,

and no fireworks or gunplay.

- What do you think?

- Oh, this?

This is a shit hole.

My parents would be horrified.

- We're bohemians.

- Are you completely mad?

- Hi. - Like, insane?

- It's me, Amy.

I don't know if you remember.

Um, I just moved in down the street, actually,

so I thought I would bring you a little housewarming gift.

Um...

I hope you like kiwis.

There's a lot of kiwis.

- You want to come in, kid?

- Thank you.

Here you go.

- Yeah, you can just put that right down.

Can I get you something to drink

or nosh on, maybe a Shasta or a Triscuit

or a trinket of some kind?

- I'm fine.

- Thank you for that.

- Um, I put some of my poems in the basket.

- Great.

That's great.

I'll... I'll look at those at some point.

Uh, why on Earth

would you want to be a poet, Alice?

- It's Amy, actually.

Um, I...

I really feel a lot, you know?

Even if things are just happening around me,

I feel like I really

internalize it.

And I want to be able to speak

for all the people that suffer,

that feel the pain that I feel every day.

You know?

- Yes.

Why me, Alice?

Why choose me? Why come to me?

- It's Amy, but you can... you can call me whatever.

Um, well,

you're unique.

Your work is... it's real, and it's honest,

and it's very partially subtle

but then very in-your-face, you know,

loud, and it speaks for an entire generation.

- No, no, it doesn't.

- Yes, it does. - I don't know what that means.

I'm glad people still like some of the stuff I did,

you know, back in the day.

- I was just gonna throw something out there.

- Throw it out there. - See what happens.

- Yeah, throw it on the trash heap.

See what sticks. - Well...

Okay.

I would love to be your protégé.

- My what?

- Your protégé.

- My protégé.

I haven't heard that sober with my pants on for a long time.

- That's okay, I think.

- What would that entail?

- I'm an excellent speller.

I could proofread for you.

- I got a spell-check.

- Oh, of course. - Yeah.

- I always imagined you at a typewriter.

What about readings?

I could do readings for you in your place

when you're feeling sick

or, you know, you're hungover or something...

And you don't want to go. - I feel kind of sick right now.

You want to try that?

Give me... read something.

That's Strindberg...

some passages from Strindberg I thought were kind of cool.

"There are discords in this life which can"...

- Whoa. Not... not in that voice.

Try it... just... can you do it in your own voice without the...

- Sure. - What kind of voice was that?

- That was my speaking-out-loud...

reading-out-loud voice.

- Yeah, don't... don't use that one,

because it doesn't sound like...

it doesn't sound like...

it doesn't sound like you.

How do you feel about failure as a concept?

'Cause, you know, all the best people are failures these days.

- I failed many times.

- That's good.

Continue to fail.

Beckett said, "If you want to make art, you have to fail."

And so the artist's job is to fail better.

- Fail better.

- Yeah. - You should make T-shirts.

- This has been really good. I was... I'm...

- Okay. - I'm so happy that you came by.

- What about if I, um...

what about if I organized for you?

- You could euthanize me.

- Um...

I could clean.

I could come over whenever you need me to and just clean...

like a maid.

Yeah?

- Chop, chop.

- Amy!

Amy!

Hey. Guess what.

I got published in Anarchist Quarterly.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

- I'm so excited.

It's, like, the first time I ever sent anything in.

- Awesome. - I know.

It's, like, not a big deal.

It's just, like, some stuff that I wrote down

about the strike and stuff.

But they're gonna give it, like, the front page, it says.

I'm so happy for you.

- Thanks.

I'm gonna go frame it.

- I think they might have spelled your name wrong.

Just double-check that.

- Amy?

- Are you working on a new book?

- Uh... excuse me?

- Is that part of your new book?

- Oh, yeah, um...

Just a, uh...

just a little...

shitty, little anthology I'm putting together, you know?

Don't want to, but got to pay the bills.

- What kind of stuff are you putting in there?

- Mostly unknowns.

- Really?

- I'm going to go out and come back.

So carry on.

- Okay.

"The fright oblivion, deep night.

"Spring kills with its might.

Might I delight?"

Question mark or exclamation point?

- Sorry, man.

Um...

- It's getting there.

- Thanks. - Bye.

- What are you doing?

Why are you not paying attention?

- I am paying attention.

- Amy, what are you doing?

Amy, what are you writing?

What's going on?

- Stop it!

- What are you doing?

- Nothing. I'm sorry.

Hey, guess what. - What?

- I got a job.

I'm working for Rat Billings.

- Are you quitting? - No, no.

I... I still need to work here.

He doesn't believe in money,

so he's paying me in mentorship.

- What are you doing for him that you're not getting paid?

- Um...

well, I'm kind of his protégé.

- Oh.

- A lot of great writers get their start

under the tutelage of another great writer.

You know, like Ford Madox Ford took James Joyce under his wing,

and Joyce may never have been discovered otherwise.

- Wait. I just remembered something.

LePassion.

Call for entries.

"We need erotica written by women

about their sexual experiences."

Yeah.

I know it's not Harper’s or The New Yorker or whatever,

but it's writing, right?

It's a publication.

- Alex, I'm not gonna peddle porn.

- Amy, hey, you're working in a porn shop.

- Um, Alex, the girl on the cover?

One of her boobs is bigger than my entire face.

- You do kind of have a small face.

Just trying to help.

- "Desired reality desires itself,

"invents a body of lightning,

"bends over, and looks at itself.

"Jaguar waves and skull,

"two eyes fixed on two eyes,

idols always the same eyes."

South Americans are awesome, aren't they?

Who would like to read another bit

of Octavio Paz?

All right, my assistant, Adrian, will read.

"Dawn.

"Cold, rapid hands draw back one by one.

"The bandage of dark.

"I open my eyes.

"Still, I am living at the center

of a wound still fresh."

- Allison?

- This guy is still in a wound so fresh...

I mean, so much pain and violence and...

- Yes, yes, but try not to be quite so literal with it.

- That was quite a literal response.

- Wait, so is that gonna be on the test?

- Yes.

You'll be tested.

You'll be tested every day

and for the rest of your life.

And you know what?

You'll fail.

That's it.

- Have you, perchance, found the time

to check out any of my poems?

I mean, I know you're busy.

- No, but I will,

so keep working on them.

- Was it hard to get off heroin?

You know, your "opiated blues" days

when you were homeless and hustling?

- Well, in actuality, the smack came later,

after I wrote it.

- So you made all of that up?

- Hey, you got to blur the lines, kid.

You really are a bizarre, little creature, aren't you?

Hello?

- Richard Simmons?

Why are you getting mail addressed to Richard Simmons?

- I wasn't being mean. I was being honest.

- Oh, my God.

"Rat" is a nom de plume.

- More of a nom de guerre,

but don't tell anybody, or they'll skin me alive.

- Of course!

- They can't take a little criticism

without going to the dean.

Is that what you're telling me?

All right.

I'll do whatever you want.

No, I won't do that, but...

We'll... we'll...

we'll talk about it later.

Bye-bye.

- You're right to be hard on them, you know?

They need it. - I know... generation mundane.

- How about a little negative advice before I depart?

- Love.

Love until you hate.

Then learn to hate your love.

Then forgive your hate for loving it.

- Wow.

On that note,

do not wait to strike until the iron is hot,

but make it hot by striking.

That's William Butler Yeats.

- You're dumb, but you're not stupid!

- God, time is so weird.

Being 22 is so weird.

- It's weird.

- Super weird.

It's like this neverland, you know?

Like, we're not quite kids.

We're not quite adults.

It's... it's like we're

marginalized others or something.

- Just cured my insomnia.

That's so cool.

You have such diverse friends, Amy.

Mm, cute.

You have something on your face.

You have something on your face.

- Yeah?

- Come dance with me.

- No. - Come on. It'll be fun.

- No, ah, I don't want to dance. - Okay.

Floor dancing, floor dancing.

- Her need for release exploded

in a violent, lustful vengeance,

as the stock boy finally took her

to the edge of oblivion.

She lay plundered,

fighting for her next breath.

- Hey.

What's up?

- Nothing. Just writing.

- That's cool.

You gonna drink all that by yourself?

- Not all of it.

- Probably put some posters up, maybe.

Paint.

I could help you with that.

And stuff.

- Hi.

Ow.

You're so funny.

- You're funny. That's funny.

- A second ago, I was teaching him

how to do, like, the dance moves.

- It's cool.

You should join, seriously.

- Uh, I'll pass, thanks.

- Okay.

Sweet.

All right.

Have fun doing...

what you do.

"For your consideration,

"here's a taste of some of the erotic prose

"I've been working on.

"Sincerely...

"Sincerely...

Evelyn... Renoir."

You whore.

Ew.

- Hey.

Oh, my God. Who's the dead girl on the wall?

- Sylvia.

- Oh, how'd she die?

- She stuck her head in the oven.

- Oh, that's bananas.

- Mm-hmm.

Do you ever feel invisible?

- No, not really.

Hey.

I know what's wrong with you.

Wait.

I've been wanting to do this ever since I met you.

- What?

- Whoa.

- She's a snow leopard.

- I need a drink.

- Holy mother of God.

I can understand that.

Sure.

Come on in.

- Make it a stiff one, buster, and make it snappy.

- You look lovely tonight.

What are you doing out here this late?

It's the witching hour.

- Maybe I'm a witch.

- Ran right into that one.

- Aha!

- Why are you dressed like a hooker?

- And so began our torrid love affair.

Whoops.

- Oh, my God.

- Jesus Christ!

I want you to deflower me.

I've chosen you, Rat Billings,

to open the bud of my womanhood.

I only ask that you treat me as you would treat a poet.

- What, you want me to slap you around a little bit?

- I want to be picked like an exotic flower,

like a... like a rare breeze.

- You actually are a pretty girl, aren't you?

- Do it to me.

Do it to me good.

- Oh, come on. Don't use that voice.

- Do it to me.

Do it to me good.

- That's when you're losing me,

with the "do it it to me, do it to me good."

- I thought people liked that.

- No, I don't believe anything you're saying, sweetheart.

- Have sex with me.

- No.

- No to the voice or no to the sex?

- No to both.

- What, do you think I'm ugly or something?

- No, no.

I think you're psychotic.

- You're just a kid.

- I am a woman.

- You're a little Snickers bar.

You're a little snicks.

- I'd like to read you something I wrote for you.

- You're a little snick-snack.

- You're an asshole.

"In squalid ether,

"digital surveillance nightmare.

"Shattered wings

"catapult the vast vulva

of shattered oblivion!"

- It's astonishing.

- Tell me what you really think of it,

poet to poet, mentor to protégé!

Tell me the truth.

Do you think I could be a real poet?

- Snicks.

- Do you?

Tell me!

- Snickers? Snicks?

- Well, you're off to a good start.

- Oh. There's more.

Can I use the bathroom?

- Yeah.

- So where'd you go last night?

- To an awful, terrible place

I may never recover from.

- What happened? Are you okay?

- I messed up.

I'm such a failure.

- Whatever it was, I'm sure it wasn't that bad.

- Trust me. It was bad.

- I've done some really stupid shit.

- Last night?

- No.

Last night, I left right after you did.

Your friend Candace is kind of a...

octopus.

- I had to escape her testicles.

Tentacles.

I've been working here too long.

Whatever... really, though, you know, I've... I've...

I've done things I wish I hadn't.

It's part of life.

But if you need anything, let me know.

- Thank you.

That's really nice of you.

- You're welcome.

What do you want to bet that's a bachelorette party?

- Hi. - Hi.

- We're only in here because we're going

to a bachelorette party.

- A bachelorette party?

- Yeah. - Oh, my God.

- And I was wondering

if you had, like,

some kind of package?

- I have a package.

- Good. - I'll be right back.

- Thanks.

Oh, my God.

Amy?

Amy Anderson?

- Oh, my God, Maggie.

Hi.

How is it going?

I didn't... didn't see you.

- Amy used to go to my middle school.

She thought she was gonna be this famous poet.

- I'm actually, um... I'm still working on that.

- What's it like working in a dirty video store?

I bet you see a lot of freaks.

- You know what, Maggie?

You're a freak!

- Okay.

- Rat?

- I'm not receiving any visitors today.

- It's life or death!

It's creative life or death!

I am so sorry that I vomited upon you,

but I need to know the truth.

- Truth's subjective, Amy.

- Ugh, cut the bullshit, okay?

I am in physical and emotional pain right now.

I need to know what you thought of my poems.

- Well... you're in pain?

How much... what... what kind of pain are you in?

- The worst pain I've ever been in.

- Oh, okay, well, on a scale,

what would you say you are, on a universal...

- On the Wong-Baker Facial Grimace Scale?

- This is the death of a loved one, all right?

- It's a ten.

- No. - It's worst pain possible.

- That's like Auschwitz. So, I mean, I think it's...

You would be somewhere... somewhere in here, I think.

If you go like that...

and then you're like that, and that's Amy.

Here, you know, where it's on this side of it,

maybe in Cleveland.

- Tell me!

- I read your poems.

- And? - Credit to your tenacity.

- What's this?

- It's a map.

- Russia and Mongolia.

- Just... I want you to go there one day

and write something.

Anyway, I found them exceedingly special.

I found them uniquely you.

I found them... most like you.

- You really think so?

- Yeah, yeah.

In fact, I'm...

I'm putting together a little anthology,

a little, shitty, little, shit-filled,

shit-stained anthology of new work.

- And?

- And it's not anything major,

but if you want,

I can include one of your shitty, little...

- Oh, my God! Yes!

Yes!

Oh, my God, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

- All right, all right, all right, all right.

- Yes, yes!

This is the best day ever!

This is the best day ever!

Oh, my God. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Thank you, thank you!

Whoo!

All right, I'm gonna go.

Thank you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- Only forward, Amy

- Good night. - Good night, darling.

- Good night.

- You asshole!

- Hi.

- Hey. What's up?

Did you just see what just happened?

- What?

- That asshole just stole a bunch of shit.

You didn't even notice.

- I-I'm sorry.

I was rearranging some DVDs.

- You know, you're lucky to have this job.

Any other place would have fired you by now.

And you get to do anything you want here,

and we don't say shit.

And you just... you just take advantage.

It's bullshit. Like...

- Okay, I'm sorry, but...

it's not like this is a career.

It's a stupid job in a stupid place.

- This place is how Stan and Mary Anne make their living.

It's how I make my living.

And it really pisses me off

that you think that you're better than that.

- What are you trying to say?

- I'm saying go find yourself another stupid job.

- Fine.

You know, I'm up for a lot of awards

right now and accolades,

and I don't need a job that's for losers, okay?

Especially not in this... this porn hole!

- Snorechop? - Yeah?

- Those... the napkins that I had over there

that I moved over here that I was working on,

the white ones?

- I don't know about those.

- What do you mean you don't know about 'em?

They were here, and then you cleaned up,

and then... and then things got unorganized.

The manuscripts on the napkins that were with the coasters

that you moved over from over there

when I told you don't clean, don't clean, don't clean,

and you did, anyway?

I can't find them.

- Oh, napkins, napkins.

There's napkins there.

- I know. I'm not looking for these.

I'm looking for these.

This has got this. This is this.

Where are they? I told you not to clean up.

Did you put them back over here?

I'm gonna be very upset with you.

- Here they are. I found them.

I must have accidentally put them in my purse.

I don't know why. I'm sorry.

Um, here you go.

- What were they doing in your bag?

- Okay.

Are you gonna be mad?

- I'm already mad.

- I thought that it was trash, like, doodles or something.

- Do I look like a doodler to you?

Not now, you don't.

- Okay, so that's bullshit.

- I thought it would be cool to have something of yours

for when you die.

- I'm not gonna die...

ever, you idiot.

- I really wouldn't have taken them

if I thought they were important.

- All right, look.

You can have that one.

- Thank you.

This is really good.

This one's... you should keep this one.

This one's really good.

You were so young when you became famous...

you and Rimbaud, both so talented, and...

younger than I am now.

- Fame's your generation's black plague, kid.

- That's really good. Who said that?

- I did just now, me.

I said that to you.

- Alex hates me.

- Men are really delicate.

They get their feelings hurt easy.

Oy.

- Here.

I want my job back.

- You like Alex.

- What?

That's absurd.

- You're all like,

"What's tomorrow gonna be like?

And what will people think of me?"

You're gonna be blind to what's right in front of you.

"Forever is comprised of Nows."

That's Emily Dickinson, bitch.

Get my fat toe.

- Hey...

Alex.

- Are you here to rent a movie?

- No.

- Then you'll have to excuse me,

because I have a very patient customer waiting.

Do you want a 3- or a 5-day rental?

- What do the green dots mean?

- Uh...

- It means new release.

Alex, I'm sorry.

I am not too good to work here,

and I didn't mean any of those things that I said.

- Do you have the antimicrobial anal beads?

- Sorry, buddy, we're all sold out.

There should be more coming in Monday, though.

- I'm not better than this,

and I don't think working here is for losers.

I want my job back.

- Why?

- So I can find out

who puts the dots on.

- Do you have any of those leather masks

that are flame-retardant?

- What the fuck is with...

No, we don't. I'm sorry.

She took the last one.

- They're awesome.

- I'm gonna let you deal with that

'cause that's your punishment.

- Thanks.

What's your name?

- Max.

- Okay, Max.

Max... Max.

Cougar Den.

Dorm Girls.

That's... this is the wrong Max, isn't it?

- Mm-hmm.

- Hey, I brought you some turtlenecks.

- Thanks, mom.

- You're welcome. They're all-cotton.

Dad says hi.

- Does he hate me?

- Mm-hmm.

We both do.

No, he doesn't hate you.

We love you,

but we're a little worried about you.

- What?

I'm fine.

I have a good job now.

I mean, things... things are really looking up.

- But are you happy?

- Mother, an artist's life...

it really is a life of solitude.

That is, um,

bullshit.

It's almost your birthday.

Let's just plan a party, okay?

You haven't had a birthday party for a while.

Dad wants to see you.

I want to meet your friends.

I always used to meet your friends.

I'll make you a cake. What kind of cake do you want?

- Cheese.

- I can do that... cheesecake.

Anything else?

- Sprinkles. - Good.

That's... now we're talking.

- Rainbow, not chocolate.

- It's gonna be fun.

You're very skinny.

I'll make you two cakes.

- Whoo!

Happy birthday!

- Hello?

- Hi!

- Hi.

- I'm so happy you came.

- Oh, we just thought we'd stop by.

- Sorry we didn't wait for cake.

- Happy birthday.

- Thanks. - Hi.

- This is my friend Yumi.

She's a theoretical linguist.

- This is Amy, the girl that I told you about.

Okay.

Um, do you want some... some cake or something?

- Sure.

- Drinks? - Yeah.

- This is my family. Um, this is Rat.

- You must be Mrs. Anderson.

How are you? - No.

I am Mrs. Anderson.

- I know. - Oh. He's...

- How are you? - Todd Anderson.

- Nice to meet you. - Hello. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to see you.

What's your name? - Rubia.

- I'm sorry? - Rubia.

- Rubia.

Hi.

- Alex. - Alex.

- Would you like something to drink?

- Yeah, do you have any, um, uh, wine?

- Yes. - Sure do.

- 'Cause I think Yumi likes wine.

- Red is fine. - Okay.

- And I'll have... do you have coffee?

- We have coffee.

- And red wine for the Yumi,

and can you bring the cake cutter?

- You need a cake cutter.

So a cake cutter and... - Yes.

- That was really amazing,

what you did for Amy.

- I haven't done anything to Amy.

- Well, no, but, I mean, you see how talented she is.

That's amazing.

For a girl like her, there's nothing she wants more.

- She's a good kid.

She's just, as my father used to say,

"Free of all knowledge."

- Ho-ho-ho-ho! I just took you to school.

- Somebody knows what they're doing.

- This is for you.

I don't want you to open it in front of everybody,

'cause then they're like, "Oh, it's from Alex," and...

and, "What is it?"

And, you know, that's weird.

- Letters to a Young Poet.

- Yeah.

I know you've probably read that, like,

a thousand times, but...

- No, I haven't.

I haven't read this one.

- Sweet.

Score.

- "Amy, happy birthday.

I thought of you when I saw this."

- No! Shh. No.

You're not gonna read that. No.

I'm a dork.

It's embarrassing.

- Thank you. I love it. - You're welcome.

- Seriously, it's a really good present.

- Where's Rat?

- Oh, he had to leave, honey.

- Seriously?

- Yeah, but he left you a present.

- "Here it is. Rat."

It's a galley of the book that I'm in.

- Oh, my gosh, open it! - Oh!

- Open it.

I can't do it.

- Mira.

Here, I got nails.

- Careful with the paper, please.

Let me see.

Shit Poetry: An Anthology of Bad Verse,

Edited by Rat Billings."

Wh-what is this?

My poem.

"Hilariously awful" - Joan Didion.

"So bad, it's good" - Zadie Smith.

"So terrible, I laughed and then I cried"...

Jonathan Franzen.

- Oh, my God, Jonathan Franzen.

- Amy.

- Amy.

Wait.

Amy, come on. - Amy!

- Amy, stop.

- Don't go, Amy.

- Come on, honey, it's your birthday.

- Amy,

it's really not that bad.

- Oh, honey?

- Honey.

- ♪ Well, it was nothing, it was nothing to me ♪

♪ It was nothing, it was nothing to me ♪

♪ Baby, baby, mean nothing to me ♪

- You miserable son of a bitch!

Where are you?

- Problem?

- Shit Poetry?

An Anthology of Bsd Verse?

- Well, it's just a silly, little book

for the Urban Outfitters.

You know, hipsters are gonna love it.

- They're gonna be reading my poetry while taking a shit!

- But you said you wanted to be published, didn't you?

- Not in a book that people are gonna read

while they're on the toilet!

- Well, how do you think I feel?

It's probably gonna outsell everything I've ever written.

- All right.

- Who anointed you the arbiter of poetic quality, anyways, huh?

- It's not quality.

It's poetry that's so bad, it goes around the world,

and it's kind of good.

- The Rat Billings that I admired,

he is dead!

You're a big, fat phony!

And you know what? You're old!

You're an old, phony man!

That's what you are!

An old phony!

An old, washed-up phony!

Why?

I want to know why you would do this to me?

Why? Why? Why? You ruined my life!

- Because somebody needs to tell you

the goddamn truth, Amy.

- I thought truth was subjective.

- No, it's not subjective.

Not everybody can grow up to be Beyoncé or the president.

Not everybody's talented, okay?

And fame doesn't mean shit.

- Amy, if everything was great, nothing would be great.

Nothing would be special.

- I am special!

I got straight As!

I scored in the 97th percentile on my SATs!

Thank you very much!

- The SATs don't mean shit.

That's like believing in Scientology.

- Hey... easy, easy.

- You're bullshit. - Nobody cares...

- You all right? - She's a monster.

Get her out of here!

- Hey, come on. Come on.

- All I wanted was your advice!

You're a phony, Richard Simmons!

- Don't take my... don't take my napkins!

- Get the fuck out of here! - Don't take those napkins!

Don't take my napkins!

- Will you just pull over?

- Yeah.

You shouldn't care what anybody thinks.

It doesn't matter.

- Zadie Smith thinks I'm an idiot.

- No, she doesn't.

And Rat probably hates himself.

- I can't face anyone.

I don't want to go back to my parents' house.

I just don't want to see anyone.

- You want to go to my place?

- Yeah.

- ♪ Headlights through my window at night ♪

♪ White light on my baby, all right ♪

♪ And when I see her, she's a stranger to me ♪

- Just, uh... just make yourself at home.

Want some water?

- Okay.

♪ And if my love, if my love should fail me ♪

♪ I'd be stuck in the floating world ♪

- Did you do these?

- Yeah.

Yeah, don't look at that.

No, no. Hey, hey.

It's not finished.

I don't know what that is, actually.

- This one is so beautiful.

- Thank you.

- Have you shown these?

- No.

- Why not?

You could be famous.

Well, it's not really about that.

For me, it's more kind of just something

that I like to do on my own, you know?

Don't you have anything that you just wrote for yourself

and you didn't want to show anybody?

- No, not really.

- Hmm.

- I should go.

- Um...

you want me to drive you?

- That's okay.

- Okay.

♪ Off the window, flashing red and blue ♪

♪ But I don't live here, I'm the occupant ♪

♪ I reside in the floating world ♪

- Dre, let me call you back. I got a problem here.

What?

- Relax. I'm not gonna do anything.

- Are you sure? - I promise.

- What do you want?

- I read some of your work.

It's, uh...

It's beautiful...

some of it.

It's heartbreaking.

It's too bad you're such a colossal asshole.

- Yeah.

- Oh, thank you for saving me a lot of time and agony,

but you didn't have to be so terrible just because I suck.

- You don't suck, Amy.

You don't anything yet. That's the point.

You might be a great writer someday.

I don't know.

You haven't even lived yet.

Go to jail, you know?

Become a nun.

Right now you're just a suckling, little piglet.

Just go out, and live your life,

and get your heart broken, and get out of mine,

please, for a little while.

- Okay, Rat.

- Okay.

- I'm not done.

You got to stop taking yourself so seriously.

- The world is full of innocuous mundanity,

and people are literal and stupid,

but you're a fighter, you know?

A rebel.

- Did you rehearse that one?

- Maybe. - Yeah.

It doesn't quite work yet, does it?

You know what?

There may not really be a place for poetry

left in the world, Amy.

The literal may have triumphed and conquered all, but we...

We press on, right?

We press on. Now give it to me, and...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

You give it to me good, man.

- Give it to me good. You know what I mean?

Because, like, this is it.

This is the moment.

- Rat...

stop taking yourself so seriously.

- I want to tell you something right now.

The culture around us is disintegrating,

but you are not a part of that.

You stand against the tide,

and that is no small thing.

You will always be a hyena, Amy.

- That's Arthur Rimbaud.

- Ah.

You're a thief...

regal and ragged!

- ♪ Her dress was dark and clean ♪

No, stop. You're gonna rip it.

- I win.

Do you need help?

- Yeah.

- ♪ Like you were caught in the wind ♪

What?

- You have paint on your face.

- I do? - Hang on.

- Oh, God, no.

Hey, hey... - What?

- Oh, it's really embarrassing.

- There's a few of them here.

- It's really embarrassing. Come on.

- No, I like them.

They're cool.

I like that one.

- I was worried you would think that was creepy.

- It's not creepy.

It's cool.

I like them.

- Are you gonna take off your clothes?

What is this?

I'm wearing two shirts.

♪ Nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah ♪

♪ Nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah ♪

♪ Nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah ♪

- Being with him was as perfect as a sonnet.

- Did I just say that out loud?

- Yeah.

You do that a lot.

- I like it.

Don't get it.

Why are you getting it?

- Whoa.

Hello?

This is she.

Really?

Oh, my God, I can't believe that.

Um, really?

Okay, yeah, just... just, um, I guess, send over the contract.

Okay.

Yeah, that... that sounds great, actually.

Cool. Okay, thank you.

Bye.

- What is that?

- Is everything okay?

You're never gonna believe this.

- I'm getting published.

- What? - I know.

It's... it's gonna be on the website later today

and in the magazine next month.

- Oh, that's amazing.

- And I got $500.

- Score.

What magazine?

- I'm numb.

- I want to read it. What magazine is this?

- LePassion.

- LePassion?

What? You submitted?

- Yeah. - Oh, my God.

That's amazing.

And you're gonna be published again.

- Yeah. - Yeah, this time it's good.

- It's very good.

This is good. - Yeah.

- We should celebrate.

- What is this place?

- Just a place.

- You're so cryptic.

- Hey, Alex, what's up? - Hey.

- ♪ I was feeling down, I was feeling so low ♪

- Got that?

- Yeah.

- Hi. - Hi.

♪ It was a lie, a lie believing itself ♪

- Whoa.

- Guys, this is Amy. - Hi.

- She's new, so be nice.

♪ Out in the heat and the rush ♪

- Alex, you should really show your work.

- Yeah, I don't know.

I'll probably just end up

working at a porn store the rest of my life.

- Really? Me too.

- You should really keep writing, though,

because you kind of suck at your day job.

- As long as I'm not boring.

- You're not boring.

You're a weirdo.

You are not normal.

And it's inspiring.

It's cool.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

- ♪ Well, they're an army of thieves ♪

♪ They've got everything they need ♪

- Bend... bend the other leg too. Bend...

- Both... both legs?

- Yeah, do you like that?

- Oh, God, that's sexy.

- I'll get something to go with her.

- ♪ What about, what about us? ♪

♪ When it pulls into the street ♪

♪ What about, what about us? ♪

- Thank you.

Hello?

Thank you.

- ♪ Go on, go on, and break my heart ♪

- It's over.

Go home.

♪ I know there's nothing wrong with this ♪

♪ I know there's nothing wrong with this ♪

♪ I know there's nothing wrong with this ♪