Original subtitles

He'll know me the first time he sees me

And I'll shiver the first time he touches

me And I'll know it by the way

he smiles And he'll show it

and you know

Well, I'm employed by Mr. Fitzwillie.

Fitzwillie? What's he do?

Well, real estate, mostly. He owns several large... Oh,

yeah.

Why is he so interested in some dame he doesn't even know?

Mr. Fitzwillie is the kind of man who admires young ladies.

He's looking for the girl.

What the hell should be wrong?

Tim, it's just a movie.

I don't know why you get so jealous.

Why? You want to know why I get jealous?

Because look at this. I'm surrounded by the fucking guy. Jeff Justice posters,

Jeff Justice t-shirts. Here, t-shirts.

Look, all over your fucking room, Jeff Justice.

I mean, we can't even get it on anymore without the sucker running around on TV.

I had no idea it bothered you so much.

You know, Marianne, you really got a problem with this Jeff Justice thing.

I mean, sometimes you act like a 15-year-old kid.

You should be so lucky.

Now, come on, sweetheart.

The girls are going to be here any minute. See what I mean? The same four

fucking broadsmen getting together on the same fucking night every week for

the last six fucking years. So what? They can moan and groan over the same

Hollywood phony?

Fuck off, Tim. We get together because we're good friends.

Not just to moan and groan over Jeff.

So, do you want to or not?

You know me better than that.

Suck it nice and slow.

Marianne, suck it.

Lick it like a lollipop, Marianne.

Come on.

Make like a lollipop, little girl.

You're fucking justice.

You like sucking it, don't you?

I want you to fuck me too.

Does it feel nice and warm and wet?

Does your prick love to fuck with

cunts?

Does it make you mad that I beat off the Jeff Justice?

Yeah. Oh yeah, Marianne.

Come on, take it down your throat.

Come on.

Oh yeah.

Come on, jerk it with your hand quick.

Yeah. Yeah, baby.

Oh, sugar, I'm gonna come off.

Yeah, get it off, baby.

Funny, Tim. No waiting, girls. One at a time, all at once.

Step right up. God damn it, Tim. Get the hell out of here.

Whatever you say, darling.

No class, Tim.

Good God.

Sorry. I can't believe you did that, Tim, right in front of my girlfriend.

You're such a fucking asshole. Here,

you're not going anywhere.

Go put yourself on display somewhere else.

Not in my... No, nothing to drink, nothing at all. You embarrass me in

front of my girlfriends. You're a citizen.

Get the fuck out of here.

All right, all right, I'm going. Why don't you go try male exotic dancing?

You're going to miss me when I'm gone.

Can I get my drink?

You can starve.

And that, ladies, is what separates real men like Jeff Justice from jerks like my

ex-boyfriend.

Have a seat.

You know where the booze is.

God, after that show, I need a drink.

How about you two?

No, thanks.

No.

I have to apologize for that asshole's rude behavior.

Oh, God, thanks.

Mmm, that's good, Chris.

Whatever happened to plain old sexy, intelligent, classy men?

We all have the same problem, Marianne.

I know.

Everyone but Sue.

God, how I envy you.

Working beside Jeff day in and day out.

How could you stand to tear yourself away from him at the end of the day?

Look, Marianne, I just work for the man. Even personal secretaries get time off.

Yeah, but it's the time on I'm interested in.

How come you never tell us about the nasty things you two do when you're

alone together, like who's ever fucked you on the floor or who's ever fucked

you in his motorhome?

What about dogs stalling an armchair or against a wall?

Please tell us.

It's not like you think it is. Mr. Justice and I have a good working

relationship, and that's it.

Why is it I can never bring myself to believe you, Sue?

I mean, out of all of us, you've been the one to achieve her life's most

greatest ambition.

I mean, personal secretary to the most gorgeous guy ever to walk this planet.

Honestly, Marianne, I mean, don't get me wrong. Jeff's a great guy.

But he's not quite as great as you seem to think he is.

That's easy for you to say.

But I think you're hogging him all to yourself.

That's not true.

Now, who got you those passes when Jeff was making his last movie?

Big deal.

We were never allowed within 50 feet of the set.

I never even saw him.

I don't think.

It would be so nice for just once in my life... to get laid by a real man

like Jeff.

I don't understand it, Sue. I mean, you're a good-looking girl, especially

if you took off those glasses and fixed yourself up some.

Is this a proposal, Mary Ann?

If Jeff really isn't bawling you, well, then the competition must be pretty

stiff.

He's got to have closets full of stunning, horny little starlets just

ready and waiting to fuck him at the snap of his fingers.

Ooh, it's probably a challenge just to get along with him long enough to even

get laid.

I'd do it.

You know, where one couldn't do it, four just might.

What?

Uh-oh.

Listen to me. Do you want to be stuck with rotten guys like Tim for the rest

of your lives without ever having tasted something sweeter?

Well?

Certainly not.

Right.

There are times in our lives when we have to all reach out and grasp the big

brass ring.

Huh? Go for the gusto.

That's right. Go for it while we're still young and strong and crazy enough

to do something about it. What are you rambling on about?

There's a way for all of us to make love to the man of our dreams.

We can all get laid by Jeff Justice.

Oh, that sounds like fun, Marianne.

But you're nuts.

No, listen.

It's so simple. It's beautiful. It's right here in our hands.

Sue here knows every move he makes.

So all we got to do is find out where he will be, make sure he's alone,

and then each one of us will take our turns fucking him while the others are

free to watch the door. It's really simple, see?

But what if he didn't want to play?

Well, then we'll force him.

There's enough of us. We'll tie him up if necessary.

Oh, boy, I know he'd want to play with me.

I'm game.

I'd risk going to jail for a torture fuck with Jeff Justice.

Well, Sue?

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

Believe it. It'll work.

And we can't do it without you.

Well, you can count me out. Because my job and my career mean more to me than

hopping in a sack with Jeff Justice.

There, see?

Selfish. You wouldn't have to go.

You could still help us without anybody ever knowing you did.

I mean, after all, we're not going to hurt him or anything.

Just fucking his lights up.

Come on, Sue, thank you for it. No, I mean it. If you guys want to, go right

ahead. But you're not going to get any help from me.

Well, I tried.

At least I tried.

Could we please just talk about something else?

Sure. Talk about something else.

That's all these girls can think about is Jeff Justice.

You'd think it'd be fabulous to be the private secretary to a famous movie star

like Jeff.

But let me tell you, it's usually more trouble than it's worth.

This is out. It all started with a meeting at the studio.

This is in and this is out.

Now get her into wardrobe and makeup right away. Okay, thank you.

Sue, Sid, I'm glad you could make our little meeting.

I'd like you to meet Joe Decker.

Come on in, Decker.

He's with Star Security Services.

Sid.

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. It's back at one of the high points of my

life. I'm new in town, and I... Look, I hope this is important.

I'm one of the busiest agents in Hollywood. They're keeping a table for

my maison for me right now. Let's get this done with.

Sid, when you hear what I have to say, you may be one of the poorest agents.

Now, there's a vicious rumor circulating around this town that affects me very

much. A rumor about your biggest client. It's a lie.

Oh, really?

Excuse me, I think I missed something here.

It's about Jeff, isn't it?

Oh, come on, Sue.

I thought you'd be the first to know.

Come on, tell her, Sid.

There is a filthy lying story going around that Jeff is...

...infinite. Rumor hell.

It's been a fact for six months.

Now... Do you know how much money Jeff's reputation as a hard dick represents to

this studio?

Oh, come on, Sid. Why the hell did I have to hear it at the Polo Lounge?

F you. Look, it's only a temporary problem Jeff is having. Really, only

temporary. I didn't want to waste your time with it, sweetheart.

It's no big thing.

Damn right it's no big thing.

What do you think his adoring public is going to do when they find out that the

screen's greatest stud has a limp noodle hanging between his legs?

I'll tell you what they're going to do. They're going to laugh this studio right

out of millions of dollars and me out on the street.

And I promise you, Sid, if I go, you're going with me. Oh, wait a minute, F.U.

There's rumors going around town about everyone.

Why should Jeff's problem, if he even does have a problem, ever go public?

Yeah, you're right, Sue.

That's why Mr.

Decker is attending our little meeting.

Amber, me?

Seems that that scandalous, sleazy newspaper has gotten wind of Jeff's

problem. You mean the American Inquirer? Oh, no.

They've assigned their best muckraking, dirt-dealing reporter to get the goods

on Jeff. We can't let that happen.

That's where you come in.

Where's that, boss?

I want you to make sure that this bitch doesn't get within a mile of Jeff's

personal life.

Or rather, lack of it.

Now, I'm sending him down to his beach house tomorrow.

I want you there first thing in the morning.

Now, you come highly recommended, Decker, so don't let me down.

No sweat, boss.

When I get my hands on this little honeypot of yours, the only personal

affairs she's gonna be into are gonna be mine.

I don't care how you do it. Just keep that bitch down.

Okay, if you'll excuse us.

Ah, no, no, no, Sid.

Not you, baby.

Come here.

We got some things to talk about. We do?

Jan Manley.

You know her?

No, but I know of her.

She's the best and dirtiest in the business.

Personally, I think Jeff's in a lot of trouble.

Yeah?

Well, you're not giving me very much credit, are you?

Well, I know her reputation.

Jeff's wouldn't be the first career in this town she's ruined.

It's funny.

You wouldn't think someone that beautiful could be so ruthless.

Well, don't you worry your pretty little head about it.

I got a pretty good reputation myself.

And you.

You know, if you let those glasses come down a bit and loosened up your hair,

there'd be a good-looking woman in there.

Excuse me, Mr. Decker.

Wait a minute.

That's my number at the motel.

Just in case you need my services.

Good night.

Sue, for Christ's sake, what the hell are you doing here? I'm sorry, Jeff.

Oh, my God, did you bruise me? No, you're fine.

Are you sure?

Positive.

What the hell are you doing here, anyway? I've been trying to locate you

all day.

You know you are of absolutely no use to me if I can't find you when I need you.

I couldn't find you.

I left messages on your answering machine all day.

Well, I wasn't home.

Now look, Sue, I grossly overpay you to keep track of me and to make yourself

available the minute I need you, not half a day later.

Look, if you're unhappy with the way I do my job, which is pretty damn well,

then why the hell don't you just fire me?

I don't know, Sue.

Maybe I'm looking for some improvement.

You know, if I fired you now from such a cushy job, what would happen to you?

I mean, you could never find another job like this one. And frankly, that would

bother my conscience.

What?

Yes?

Well, I never told you this before, but...

When I was 12 years old, I had the biggest crush of my life on you.

I thought you were my knight in shining armor.

That one day you were gonna come and sweep me away to your castle.

Boy, if I only knew.

So you were once a pimply-faced little girl who had a crush on me.

You and a million others, babe. Now get back to work.

You lousy bastard!

This pimply-faced little girl is going to cut you down to size.

Hello, Marianne.

What about that plan of yours?

Jeff made me so mad, I went straight to Jan Manley's office to let her in on my

plan to ruin Jeff Justice.

That's the damnedest story I've ever heard.

Your three girlfriends are going to make my job very easy for me if they can pull

this stunt off. They're pretty determined.

Hmm.

And you're sure they don't know about Jeff's condition?

Of course not. That's the beauty of it.

Yeah. Hmm.

Three disillusioned groupies.

And when they find out the truth, I'm going to be there with lots of sympathy

and my trusty tape recorder.

Now, what about this private watchdog the studio hired?

Here's the number of the motel he's staying at.

He's got to be prevented from going to that beach house.

Don't worry, Sue. I'll take care of it.

Well, I've got to warn you.

He's seen a picture of you. He knows what you look like.

Don't worry.

Deception is my business.

Go away, I'm sleeping.

All right, all right!

God damn it.

Honey!

Jan had to keep Detective Decker at the motel long enough for the girls to have

a chance to get the plan into action.

In this place?

Yes, sir. I'm the new maid. I just started today.

This has got to be a gag.

What's that?

What's what, sir?

That. Oh, that's your complimentary bottle of champagne.

On the house.

On the house.

Yuck.

Something wrong?

Oh, no, sir.

Nothing's wrong.

Well, here's the bet. Don't let me get in your way.

Joseph, you must be living right.

Excuse me.

While you're working, you don't mind if I take a shower, do you?

Oh, no, not at all.

Then I'll just go right ahead.

Take a shower.

a big Hollywood star today, and I'm late already.

Decker saw through Jan's disguise and was going to leave, so she had to jump

into action.

Justice, I think, is his name.

Hey, wait a minute. You can't do that.

Oh, yeah?

Why not?

Because I won't let you.

All right.

Just one thing.

Yeah? Me, Joe.

You, not Jane.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha.

My job.

Oh that's nice.

you'd get better.

around here.

Hi.

All night party, dear?

Huh?

That ridiculous dress.

Oh, I wore it just for you.

I'd like to tell you that you have the wrong house, but something tells me it

ain't so.

So, goodbye.

No, wait! Wait!

Don't you remember this dress? It's the same one Glenn Jones wore in Fiery

Passion. You were so masculine, the way you ripped off that dress and

everything.

Listen, I don't have time for this, really.

Why don't you just run along like a good little clod? Oh, no, but I can't.

Come on, Marianne. I told you, general persuasion is not going to work.

Yeah, we're wasting time.

Uh, look, ladies.

I love you all. Really, I do.

But if you don't get the hell out of my house right now, I'm going to call the

police. Look, darling, we're here for a good time, and you're going to give it

to us.

Yeah.

What is this, a kidnapping?

No, it's more like a sex napping.

Oh, Jeff!

If you only knew how much I care for you.

Oh, I would never hurt you, only give you all my love. Yeah.

Jesus, get off of me, will you, please?

And if that isn't enough, why don't you see what I've got for you? Oh, my God.

If you're the man we think you are, how could you turn us down?

Look, look, this is ridiculous.

Do you think you three little bimbos can just troop right in here and wind up in

bed with Jeff Justice?

Yeah! Oh, God.

That's right.

And you can either go willingly or the hard way.

Mace?

thought of the idea.

And I convinced our friend, you know.

Anyway, I deserve to go first. That's all.

What the hell? There won't be anything left of him when I get through.

We'll all get a turn.

Sure. Go ahead, Marianne.

Here, you'll need this.

Now look, look, ladies. I got something to say about this. You don't understand.

Keep that away from me.

Easy.

He's so cute.

Oh, get him, Marianne.

Oh, Jeff, I know it's wrong to do it this way, darling. But my passion will

overcome my reason if you only knew how much I care for you, how much I can give

you. Oh, my God, I've loved you ever since I was a little girl. Yeah. All my

girlfriends and I really love you so much. Really.

I'll only do this once. I don't have to see you after this if you don't want me

to. But for once, I need to know what it's like to be with a real man.

Jesus, will you just slow down?

I'm sorry.

That's all right. I know what...

Being around me does to a woman.

Oh, but I just love you so much.

You've got nice tits. Oh, thank you.

Maybe this will work after all.

But you've got to promise me two things.

Oh, anything.

Well, first of all, you have to do everything I tell you.

And second, I want you to get rid of those two other bimbos down there and

we're finished, all right?

Anything you say, Jeffy, baby.

Okay. Um... Why don't you get out of the dress?

I've been waiting for this for so long.

You have no idea.

Well, I'm willing to give it one good college try.

I've got your pictures all over my bedroom wall.

My boyfriend is so jealous of you. You can't...

Did you have any

trouble?

No trouble at all.

You, on the other hand, Sue, are in a great deal of trouble.

I thought you said there were no problems.

But I've had no problems.

On the contrary, I've had nothing but pleasure since I've been here.

Life's just like that sometimes.

What about your story?

Well, I'm afraid that life is over for me.

Joe and I are going into business together.

What with my resources and his...

Talents, I think, will make a great team.

This boy's quite a smooth operator, honey.

You're not so bad yourself, sweetheart.

Listen, uh, Sue...

You gotta help me stop this thing before

it gets too far.

Now, I sure as hell would like to know what I'm getting into over there.

From what little that Jan could tell me, I make you as an accomplice.

And I can just about guarantee that you're going to jail.

But if you help me, maybe I can keep your ass out of the can.

I'm ready.

Let's go.

God, I could just die.

I did everything, and he just sat there, limp.

I can't believe it.

You're a king.

What a bummer.

Did you tell me it was his biggest fan, Marianne? Do me a favor.

Sure. Was, Chris, was.

That asshole doesn't deserve someone like me.

Right.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Not me.

I haven't had my turn yet.

Chris, I told you, the man cannot get it up.

Just because you failed doesn't mean I will.

Chris, the man is impotent.

He hasn't had a hard-on in six months or more. He told me so.

So, what do you got, a magic pussy or something?

Lemptic or not, I'm taking my turn.

Where's Cindy?

Cindy?

They're in the other room.

There's a whole closet full of them.

There's snaky ones, and leathery ones, and roller derby ones.

All right, all right, Cindy, we get the picture.

Marianne, he's not a limp dick. He's kinky.

I'm going to go see what else they got. Come on. I'm going to see Daddy.

What's wrong, Daddy?

For Christ's sake, I'm not your daddy.

You look like a nice man.

Can I sit on your lap, mister?

This isn't going to work.

Will you please get out of here?

No.

Not until I tell you my secret.

I've been a bad girl, mister.

I'll bet you can't guess what I did.

Look, just please get the fuck out of here, all right, and leave me alone.

I was riding my bicycle for a long way.

And after a while, the seat started to feel real good.

And even though I was so tired, I kept riding

and riding.

and writing, and it kept feeling better.

Oh, and better and better.

Really?

Then what happened?

Nothing. I rode and rode and rode.

Oh, it felt so good.

I know I could just write all day.

You certainly are a tasty little morsel.

I did something wrong, though.

I just wish I knew what it was.

Can you help me, mister?

I'd be real grateful.

And how old are you, little girl?

I'm not gonna tell you.

But everyone says I'm big for my age.

for writing a big surprise for me.

I want it. Show it to me now.

You've never seen one of these before?

I don't think so.

Is it for writing?

Oh, that's right, you young, nasty little whore.

For writing and sucking and many things more.

Oh.

Oh, that's good.

Call me Daddy again, will you?

Daddy.

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

Okay, good. Go on, go on, go on.

All right, all right, all right. Stop.

Stop. Stop it!

I know what you'd like.

You show me yours, and I'll show you mine.

See?

This is mine.

Let me see these.

These are mine.

Yes, yes, go on, go on.

Ooh, that feels good.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Yes, be a nasty little girl. Play with yourself.

That's good.

Oh.

It feels so good.

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.

Now get the fuck out of here, all right?

Stop it!

What the hell's the matter with you anyway?

Just get out of here and tell those two other bimbos to leave.

Oh, God.

Not another one.

You've been a very bad boy.

Now, look, I'm getting tired of all this bullshit.

Mace or no mace, I'm getting out of here and nothing is going to stop me. What

about this wimp?

Hey, take it easy with that thing. It could mark up my face.

Stay away from me.

Look, any man who couldn't get turned on by two hot horny hotties like Marianne

and Cindy must be a sick man.

I know how to treat you, Jeff. I know how to treat a sick man.

Well, let's go.

It's about time.

I'm dying of thirst.

Yeah, well, you come on into the house and we'll fix you something in the

jiffy. Come on.

No, we don't want to go in.

Sandy, come on.

Come on, you'll love this place.

Our friend Jeff Justice owns it. You know who he is.

We'd really rather not.

Can't you bring us something out here?

Yeah, we'd rather wait here in the sun.

Aye, aye, sir.

Come on, Chuck, let's go.

All right.

Get ready.

Come on, Chuck, let's go.

Yeah. Come on, Gary.

Uh,

listen, Gary.

Where'd you find these women? Damn iceboxes. Both of them.

A friend of mine from the extras guild sent them over. I told them we needed

pretty girls for a beach movie.

Yeah, the Ice Age comes to Malibu, maybe.

Well, they are pretty, aren't they?

God, what creeps.

Forget it, Marianne.

I don't have any more luck with him than you guys.

He's like a vegetable, a limp piece of soul.

Well, where is he now?

Oh, still tied up like I left him.

Well, shouldn't we untie him?

No, let's wait till we leave. He might call the cops.

Damn, I'm so horny.

Fuck, I need a good stiff dick.

I could use just a real man.

Uh-oh. What is it?

There's two men coming up the walk.

Oh, shit.

Shit, Marianne. We could be in some serious trouble.

Shh, be quiet.

But what if they find Jeff?

Be quiet.

Marianne, go check on Jeff.

Well, hello.

Hi. Hi.

Um, Chuck.

Wait, wait, wait. Don't go anywhere.

Where's Jeff?

He's tied up at the moment.

He couldn't help himself.

You girls having a party or something?

No, but I wish there was so I could play pin the tail on the donkey.

What's pin the tail on the donkey?

It's where you put the tail, right there.

Well, I can play that.

You touch her, you'll have to lick me first. Hey, no problem, Chuck. Look,

I'll play pin the tail on the donkey with her.

Oh, goody. Okay, Gary.

You know how to use this stuff?

Yes, I do.

So do I.

Boy,

I see you didn't waste enough time, cowboy.

I hate beating around the bush.

You know what I mean? Watch that whip. Give me that thing. You know how to use

that whip?

You've got to really hit someone if you're going to use that whip.

Well, I'll show you what I know how to use.

Jesus.

This.

knows what she wants.

And what I want is this.

I can see you haven't been in Hollywood for too short a time.

This is great because I was thinking of

doing a porno film on the side with my partner.

Really?

i'd like to see what kind of shots we could line up you know before we

actually do the phone

Go places, baby.

You could sail with me anytime, baby.

Suck the head, baby.

Suck the head. That's right.

Let me see it. Let me see how it looks.

That's right. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I like your white face against my brown dick.

I slowly kiss up to the head of my dick.

Start at the ball, Cindy. Start at the ball. Slowly, slowly kiss up to the

head.

That's right.

That's right.

That's right. Take it all, baby.

If I'm gonna return the favor, I can only do my best job of year on year

back.

Payback's a motherfucker.

And then it gets as hard as a lead pipe so you can shove it up my hot box.

Oh, my God.

You already said that, didn't you?

Yeah.

Take off your panties, Cindy. I want to fuck you.

Come on.

Come on.

That's right.

I want you to sit on me, Cindy.

I want you to lift your dress up and sit on me, baby.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Come on.

Yeah. Come on.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's right, baby.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, give it to me. Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, babe.

Oh.

How's that feel, baby?

Oh!

No, I'm not that good a fucker. Oh, baby, I'm not acting. No, I'm not that

good. Oh, I'm not.

Oh, baby.

Oh, baby, I'm not acting.

Oh, God, you're great.

Come back to your house one more time then.

You can trust such a fucking good body.

He's the last drop out of here, baby.

That's right. Oh, that's right. No, don't let it drip. Oh, that's right.

No, that's good, baby.

What potential.

I promise, baby.

Oh, shit.

Chuck. What?

I think our immediate past is catching up with us.

Holy fuck.

It's the Iceberg sisters.

All right, look.

Why don't we just grab these girls and go out the back way? We'll just hit up

the... Fuck them, all right? All right, come on.

Where are you guys?

Well, I think they dumped us.

Are you sure?

Maybe they're around here someplace.

These Hollywood types are all alike.

They're the faggots who flipped out cankers.

And they're all so phony.

Always talking about themselves.

I directed this, I wrote that, blah, blah, blah.

Boy, would I like to meet something different for a change.

Yeah. I'm going to see if I can get us a ride.

I'm going to go find a phone.

What if somebody's up there?

Relax.

We're the only ones here.

Randy! Come here!

What?

Quick! Come here!

What in the world?

Get out of here.

Hey, what are you afraid of?

He's not going anywhere.

Well... Don't you know who this is?

It's Jeff Justice, the movie star.

It is.

Whoever did this must be around here someplace.

We gotta go.

Come on.

Jeff!

Ladies,

there's a private investigator outside who'd like to talk to you.

Where's the camera when you need one?

Where the hell you been?

What are you staring at?

Well, I was just looking to see if all the rumors I'd heard were true, and

apparently they are.

Who the hell is this broad, anyway?

Jan Manley, American Inquirer.

Oh, shit.

What are you doing in this house?

Two guys brought us here.

They said they were friends of Jeff Justice's.

Stand up straight, would you?

You're in trouble. You know that, don't you? What are you doing in this house?

The same thing.

These guys brought us here. They said they were friends of Jeff.

All right, girls.

I'm not going to pretend that you might not be in a lot of trouble, because I

think you both know that you are.

But we didn't... But I know you're innocent, right? Hey, I believe you.

But you've got to understand how this looks, eh?

Right now, the both of yous are facing kidnapping.

Assault.

And there's definitely some morals charges involved here. You girls are bad

girls, you know.

Oh, my mother is going to kill me.

We're really in a lot of trouble then, aren't we? Yeah, I guess you are.

You said it, sweetheart. Right now, you girls could use all the friends you can

get.

Could you help us?

Well... Please.

I might be able to do something for you both.

You girls could sure use friends, you know.

But only if you both cooperate with me fully.

You understand?

I'll do anything you ask. Anything.

How much does she know?

I know everything, pal.

And once I've interviewed Sue's friends, the whole world will know.

Your friends?

I'm sorry, Jeff.

You're a phony, Justice.

You're no more a stud than a eunuch in a harem.

Hey, I like that.

A eunuch in a Hollywood harem. The real Jeff Justice's story.

And thanks to Sue, I now have the proof, don't I, Jeff?

Please, just leave me alone.

Jan, please.

Wouldn't it be enough if I just gave up acting?

Wouldn't that be enough of a story?

Please, I beg you, don't tell them I'm not a man anymore.

Well, you know, I'm going to miss this newspaper business.

Well, he's all yours, Sue.

For whatever that's worth.

Where are you going?

Well, I have to go hunt down that Casanova partner of mine.

I have a sneaking suspicion I've been slickered again.

Jeff, everything Jan said was just a bluff.

I'm sure she won't be doing a story.

I'll talk to my friends, and I promise they won't say anything to anyone.

You can still be the actor you've always been.

I'm just sorry I ever got involved in this.

Sue.

Do you know what my real name is?

No, I don't believe I do.

Spiegelman.

Born Otis Spiegelman.

It's funny.

One translation of my name is Mirror Man.

That's all I've ever been.

A cheap reflection of a man.

Now even the man is gone.

Without anyone ever really having known him.

Jeff, I always saw the real man.

My kind of man isn't the one that tries to satisfy every woman that offers

herself to him.

Don't you see?

That's just another way of signing autographs.

You're a good woman, Sue.

You can say that after what I've done to you?

Maybe that was the best thing for me.

Maybe I should say, thanks.

I needed that.

No, Jeff, I'm leaving.

No, Sue, wait.

No, I just don't want to be another one of Jeff Justice's girls.

What if you were the only girl?

Be serious.

All right.

How about the only girl of the time?

At least now you're being a little more honest.

I can honestly say there's been no one else in my life but you for the last six

months.

Damn you, Jeff.

I always have been a sucker for a good line.

Are you sure you're ready for this?

My God, you are ready.

Excellent, ladies, excellent.

Slow down, slow down, slow down.

Yeah, slow, slow, slow.

We got a long time.

Some things are always in a hurry.

We can't help it.

The man's breath away.

Ugh.

Save the last dance for me

Easy, easy.

I don't want to come to you.

Get up here.

I take it all back.

It is fabulous to be the private secretary and lover to a famous movie

star. Like Jeff Justice.

he sees me and I'll shiver the first time

he touches me and I'll know it

by the way he smiles and he'll show it