Original subtitles

The world of investing can be a jungle.

Bulls. Bears.

Danger at every turn.

That's why we at Stratton Oakmont pride ourselves on being the best.

Trained professionals to guide you through the financial wilderness.

Stratton Oakmont.

Stability.

Integrity.

My name is Jordan Belfort.

Not him.

Me. That's right.

I'm a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny

apartment in Bayside, Queens.

The year I turned 26 as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million,

which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.

No, no, no, no, no. My Ferrari was white like Don Johnson's in Miami Vice, not

red.

See that humongous estate down there?

That's my house.

My wife, Naomi, the Duchess of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.

A former model and Miller-like girl.

Yeah, she was the one with my cock in her mouth in the Ferrari.

So put your dick back in your pants.

In addition to Naomi and my two perfect kids, I own a mansion, private jet, six

cars, three horses, two vacation homes, and a 170-foot yacht.

I also gamble like a degenerate. I drink like a fish. I fuck hookers maybe five,

six times a week. I have three different federal agencies looking to indict me.

Oh, yeah.

And I love drugs.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

You like it? Yeah.

Hold up! Hold up! We're gonna crash for Christ's sake! Relax!

Relax!

You

okay?

Yeah, I'm alright.

Good job.

You get in there safe, alright?

Till next time, brother.

Till next time.

On a daily basis, I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and

Queens for a month. Okay, Mr. Jordan.

I take Quaaludes 10 to 15 times a day for my back pain, Adderall to stay

focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me

back up again, and morphine, well, because it's awesome. Morning, Nathan.

But of all the drugs under God's blue heaven, there is one that is my absolute

favorite.

See, enough of this shit will make you invincible.

Able to conquer the world and eviscerate your enemies.

And I'm not talking about this.

I'm talking about this.

See, money doesn't just buy you a better life, better food, better cars, better

pussy. It also makes you a better person.

You can give generously to the church or a political party of your choice.

You can save the fucking spotted owl with money.

I always wanted to be rich.

So let me go back.

I'm 22 years old, newly married, and already a money crazed little shit.

So what do I do?

I go to the one place on Earth that befit my high-minded ambitions.

You are lower than pond scum.

You got a problem with that?

Jordan?

No. No problem at all. Good, because that is what you are.

Pond scum.

Your job is connector, which means that you will be dialing the phone over 500

times a day, trying to connect me with wealthy business owners.

And until you pass your series seven, that is all you're gonna fucking be

doing. Sit.

Sit!

Just so you know, last year, I made over $300,000.

The other guy you'll be working for, he made over a million.

A million dollars?

I can only imagine what a douchebag that guy must be.

Jordan?

Belfort. Yeah, yes, sir. Mark Hanna.

Pleasure to meet you. And you as well. I see you've already met the village

asshole. Smile and dial.

And don't pick up your fucking head until one.

Hey, fuck him. I'm the senior broker here. He's just a worthless pipe here.

Why don't you blow me, Hanna?

Now, did you really pitch a stock in your job interview?

I had to do something to stand out, right, sir?

I fucking love that.

Lunch. Today.

Yeah. We don't start dialing at 9.30 because our clients are already

answering the phone.

3, 2, 1, let's fuck!

You want to know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street.

Fuck this, shit that, cunt, cock, asshole. I couldn't believe how these

guys talked to each other. I was hooked in seconds.

It was like mainlining adrenaline.

Yeah, fuckface, look at where the stock's at today, huh?

You can't get anywhere.

Pick up the cocksucking phone. The market's been raised well.

You are such a fucking douchebag, Hannah. We don't give two shits about

how technology works, because all we care about is getting fucking rich.

Solid. $2,000.

Done!

Time to paint the tape. Woo!

$2,000, Microsoft, going in the hole!

Come on.

It's alive.

It's alive.

Hold on to that. It's hot.

In. In. In. Shut that motherfucker.

Shut it. Shut it. Shut it.

Salute!

Mm-hmm.

Tootski?

No, thank you, though.

Mr. Hunter, what can I bring for you on this glorious afternoon?

Well, Hector, here's the game plan.

You're gonna bring us two absolute martinis. You know how I like them,

straight up. And then precisely seven and one-half minutes after that, you're

gonna bring us two more. Then two more after that, every five minutes, until

one of us passes the fuck out.

Excellent strategy, sir.

I'm good with water for now, though. Thank you.

It's his first day on Wall Street.

Give him time.

Thank you. Thank you.

Mr. Hanna, you were able to do drugs during the day and still function, still

do your job. How the fuck else would you do this job?

Cocaine and hookers, my friend.

Right.

I gotta say, I'm incredibly excited to be a part of your firm.

I mean, the clients you have are absolutely... Fuck the clients.

Your only responsibility is to put meat on the table.

You got a girlfriend?

I'm married. I have a wife. Her name's Teresa. She cuts hair.

Congratulations. Thank you. Think about Teresa.

Name of the game?

Move the money from your client's pocket into your pocket.

Right. But if you can make a client's money at the same time, it's

advantageous to everyone, correct?

No.

Number one rule of Wall Street.

Nobody.

I don't care if you're Warren Buffett or if you're Jimmy Buffett. Nobody knows if

the stock is gonna go up, down, sideways, or in fucking circles.

Least of all stockbrokers.

It's all a fugazi. You know what a fugazi is?

Fugazi. It's a fake.

Yeah, fugazi, fugazi. It's a wazzy, it's a woozy, it's a fairy dust.

It doesn't exist.

It's never landed. It is no matter. It's not on the elemental chart.

It's not fucking real.

Right? Right.

Stay with me.

We don't create shit.

We don't build anything.

No. So if you've got a client who bought stock at 8 and now sits at 16, and he's

all fucking happy, he wants to cash in, liquidate, take his fucking money and

run home, you don't let him do that. Okay.

Because that would make it real. Right. No. What do you do?

You get another brilliant idea.

A special idea.

Another situation. Another stock to reinvest his earnings and then some. And

he will every single time because they're fucking addicted.

And then you just keep doing this again and again and again. Meanwhile, he

thinks he's getting shit rich, which he is on paper.

But you and me, the brokers, we're taking home cold hard cash via

commission, motherfucker.

Right.

That's incredible, sir. I can't tell you how excited I am. You should be.

There's two keys to success in the broker business.

First of all...

You gotta stay relaxed.

Yeah.

You jerk off?

Do I jerk off?

Yeah.

Yeah, I jerk off, yeah. How many times a week?

Like, um, three, four times, maybe.

I'll pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket.

I, myself, I jerk off at least twice a day.

Wow. Once in the morning, right after I work out, and then once right after

lunch. Really? Mm-hmm. Okay?

I want to.

That's not why I do it. I do it because I fucking need to.

Think about it. You're dealing with numbers all day long.

Decimal points, high frequencies.

Bang, bang, bang.

Fucking digits.

All very acidic, above-the-shoulders mustard shit.

It's kind of going to wig some people out.

You've got to feed the geese to keep the blood flowing.

Keep the rhythm below the belt.

Done. This is not a tip. This is a prescription. Trust me.

If you don't...

You will fall out of balance, split your differential, and tip the fuck over. Or

worse yet, I've seen this happen, implode.

No, I don't want to implode, sir. No. No, you don't. I'm in it for the long

run, you know? Yeah, implosions are ugly. Yeah. Pop off to the bathroom,

work one out any time you can, and when you get really good at it, you'll

fucking be stroking it, and you'll be thinking about money.

Second key to success in this racket is this little baby right here. It's called

cocaine.

Right. It will keep you sharp between the ears.

It'll also help your fingers dial faster.

And guess what?

That's good for me.

Yes, sir.

Revolutions. You follow?

Revolutions. Keep the clients on the Ferris wheel.

And it goes. The park is open 24-7, 365.

Every decade, every goddamn century.

That's it.

Name of the game.

How kitty-key?

Thank you.

Come on.

We're the common denominator.

Keep your breath on me.

The CEO you are.

How the money comes in.

The parade comes to town.

Going down Broadway is a one-way street, whichever way I go.

The next six months, I got to know the ins and outs of Wall Street, earning

shit money as I geared up to take my Series 7.

Then I was a licensed broker at last Ready to make my fortune my first

day as a future master of the universe

Called it Black Monday.

No shit.

By 4 p.m., the market had dropped 508 points, the biggest plummet since the

crash of 29.

I know your family. You know mine.

No, I don't know. Some fucking country in Europe took a shit. Let them do what

they want to fucking do. Our market's out. This is not something that you want

to see. You know what happened?

A fucking tsunami. I think you're making a big mistake. Mr. Tyson.

Yes, I will talk to your wife. Trust me. Do not answer the phone. A lot of people

are going to be calling you trying to get your dirty lawn. You don't know

what's going on here. I know.

I know.

Shitty day as a broker.

Within a month, L.F.

Rothschild, an institution since 1899, closed its doors.

Wall Street had swallowed me up and shit me right back out again.

We could pawn my engagement ring if we needed to.

Is that on mine?

If we needed to, I'm saying it is. Listen to me.

You're not pawning anything, okay?

What did I always tell you? You're gonna be a millionaire.

That's right.

Okay? Just let me look.

Let me find something.

How about this?

What? Nobody beats the whiz, the electronics store. Stock boy, what do

you think? You're not going to work at that place. Yeah, but, you know, you

start off... Jordan, you're going to be miserable at that place if you go there.

It's sales. You work your way up. You'll be a general manager.

You're not going to be a stock boy. Why not?

Because you're a stockbroker.

You understand that nobody's hiring stockbrokers right now.

You understand that?

Okay?

This place is... Stockbrokers.

Long Island.

Stockbrokers in Long Island.

I'm looking for an investor's center.

That's how you want to invest?

No, investor's center. I'm looking for an investor's center. Yeah, yeah, that's

us. Hey.

Oh, this is it. This is it.

Oh. I'm Dwayne. You're Dwayne? Yeah. Hi, Dwayne. We spoke on the phone.

I'm Jordan Belfort. I'm the broker from Rothschild in New York. Yes, yeah. Have

a seat. How are you?

We had a conversation.

We spoke on the phone earlier, right? Two hours ago.

Right. Yeah.

Of course you never heard of them. They're up-and-comers. That's what that

means. Three cents a share.

That's $3, you cheap fuck.

So, uh, where are your Quotrons here?

Quotrons? Yeah, computers.

No, no, we don't even need computers here. We just trade right off the pink

sheets here.

Pink sheets?

Yeah, they're penny stocks.

You know, companies that can't get listed on NASDAQ, they don't have enough

capital, their shares trade here. Penny stocks?

Yeah, this one, Aerotine, is a really interesting, or Aerotine.

Aerotine, yeah.

Aerotine. Aerotine, huh? Yeah.

Very hot stock right now. Yeah?

Yeah, they're just a couple of brothers that are making radar detectors out of

their garage. They're out in Dubuque.

Maybe it's microwaves. I'm not sure, but you call the company's main line, their

mom Dorothy answers, and she is so sweet.

I actually don't know what else to, I don't know anything else about them

other than that.

Six cents a share?

Come on.

Who buys this crap?

Well, I mean, honestly, mostly schmucks.

Postmen. There's always postmen.

Plumbers.

They see our ads in the back of Hustler and Popular Mechanics, and our ads

actually say they can get rich quick.

Hustler? Yeah. You know the girly magazine?

Yeah, yeah. Nudie mag. A lot. Yeah.

We're helping them finance houses. We're helping them buy their wife a diamond

ring, a boat, maybe. Is this stuff regulated, or are you guys... What are

you doing here?

Uh...

Sort of.

Sort of?

Jesus Christ, the spread on these is huge.

Yeah, and that's the point. What's your name again?

Jordan Belfort. Jordan, what do you get on a blue chip stock?

I make 1%. I did make 1%. Pink sheets, it's 50.

It's 50%?

50% commission?

Yep. For what?

It's our markup for our services.

So if I sell a stock at $10,000, my commission is $5,000?

If you sell $10,000 worth of this stock, I will personally give you a blowjob for

free.

And I hope it happens.

Hello, John. How are you doing today?

You mailed in my company a postcard a few weeks back requesting information on

penny stocks that had huge upside potential with very little downside

risk. Does that ring a bell?

Okay, great. Well, reason for the call today, John, is something just came

across my desk, John. It is perhaps the best thing I've seen in the last six

months. If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share the idea with you. You got a

minute? Name of the company, Aerotine International.

It is a cutting-edge, high-tech firm out of the Midwest awaiting imminent patent

approval on the next generation of radar detectors that have both huge military

and civilian applications.

Now, right now, John.

The stock trades over the counter at 10 cents a share. And by the way, John, our

analyst indicated it could go a heck of a lot higher than that.

Your profit on a mere $6,000 investment would be upwards of $60,000.

Jesus, that's my mortgage, man. Exactly. You could pay off your mortgage.

John, one thing I can promise you, even in this market, is that I never ask my

clients to judge me on my winners.

I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few.

And in the case of Aerotime, based on every technical factor out there, John,

we are looking at a grand slam home run.

Okay, let's do it.

I'll do 4,000. 4,000, that'd be 40,000 shares, John.

Let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you with my secretary with

an exact confirmation.

Sound good, John? Yeah, sounds good. Great.

Hey, John, thank you for your vote of confidence, and welcome to the Investor

Center. Yeah, thanks a lot, man. Bye-bye.

How'd you fucking do that?

Just like that, I made two grand.

The other guys looked at me like I'd just discovered fire.

Great. Even better. I was selling garbage to garbagemen and making cash

hand over fist. The only problem you're gonna have is that you didn't buy more.

Boom! So I was selling them shit.

But the way I looked at it, their money was better off in my pocket. I knew how

to spend it better.

Excuse me.

Is that your car on the lot?

Yeah.

That's a nice ride. Thanks, man.

Johnny Azoff.

Hey, Jordan Belfort. Nice to meet you.

You know, actually, I see that car around. I see it around a lot.

I think we live in the same building.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, yeah. 12th floor? Yeah, yeah. What floor are you on? Fourth floor.

Yeah, for little kids. Right. Ugly wife.

What do you do, bro?

What do you mean, what do I do?

For work, what do you do?

I'm a stockbroker.

Stockbroker? Yeah.

Children's furniture.

Oh, good for you.

It's all right.

You make a lot of money.

Yeah, I do all right for myself.

I'm trying to put it together.

You got your fucking nice car.

We live in the same building. I just am not understanding how much money you

make.

I don't know.

$70,000 last month.

Get the fuck out of here.

I'm serious.

Yeah, no, I'm serious, too.

Seriously, how much money do you make?

I told you.

$70,000. Well, technically $72,000 last month.

Something like that.

You made $72,000 in one month.

Yeah.

I tell you what.

You show me a pay stub for $72,000 on it, I quit my job right now and I work

for you.

Hey, Paulie, what's up?

No, yeah, you know, everything's fine. Hey, listen, I quit.

And he did quit his job, which I thought was a little weird. I mean, I just met

this fucking guy. Don't fucking tell Susan. It's none of her business. There

were other things about him, too, like his phosphorescent white teeth. The fact

that he wore horn rims with clear lenses just to look more waspy.

Then there were these rumors.

I heard some stupid shit. I don't know. Okay, I didn't even want to bring it up.

It's just stupid.

Shit with me? You know, people say shit. I don't know.

I don't even listen to it half the time.

What do they say?

That shit about you and your cousin or something like that. I don't even listen

to it. It doesn't even matter. Oh, it's not like that. You know, it's not like

that. You know what I mean? Like you married your cousin or some stupid shit,

you know?

Yeah, my wife, yeah. My wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like

what you think or whatever, you know?

Is she, like, a first cousin, or is she... Yeah, no, she, you know, her

father is the brother of my mom.

It's not like, you know, look, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you

know, she fucking grew up hot, and all my friends were trying to fuck, you

know, and I was, I'm not gonna let someone, you know, one of these assholes

fuck my cousin, so, you know, I used the cousin thing as, like, like an end with

her. I'm not gonna let...

Someone else fuck my cousin. You know, if anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's

gonna be me out of respect, you know? No, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean,

you're not afraid of, like, the whole kid thing, right? Like, the whole... We

have kids, right? Yeah.

No, we have two kids.

And they're... I mean, I don't mean to... I don't want to get personal or

anything, but they're okay.

No, they're not retarded or anything like that.

But there's a big chance, right?

Yeah, you know, yeah, there's like a 60%, you know, 60 to 65% chance a kid's

gonna be fucking retarded or whatever.

That scared the shit out of me, buddy.

I look, man, a lot of having a kid or whatever takes risks, whether you're

fucking cousins or not. What if you, I mean, what if something like that

happened? Basically, you know, if the kid was retarded, I would, you know,

drive it up to the country and just like, you know, open the door and let it

say, you're free now. You know, like, I'm free.

You know.

We would take it to like an institution or somewhere that's handled to like, you

know raise the kid or whatever You know what? If you're happy god bless you

buddy. No, I'm not fucking happy. No one who's married is fucking happy I'm sorry

to hear that buddy.

Listen, I'm really you know, i'm really appreciative for this fucking job I'm

really enjoying really happy with what you're doing. Actually. Yeah I got you a

little present.

You got me a present? I got you something, yeah.

You're sweet.

Yeah, it's in the back, though.

What do you mean? It's in the back.

Like it's wrapped up or something? It's wrapped up, yeah.

I don't get it. Either do I or let's fucking go. Come on.

Your turn. I'm not fucking doing this. Get out of your fucking mind. Shit, bro.

We gotta get out of here, buddy.

We gotta get out of here. Let's go fucking run.

Let's run like we're fucking lions and tigers and bears!

Let's run!

Let's fucking run!

Let's fucking run! Go!

Go, go, go, go!

You've reached Frank's Best Auto Body. We're closed right now, so please leave

us a message.

Hello, my name's Jordan Belfort. My partner and I are very interested in

renting out your garage.

Donnie and I were going out on our own.

And the first thing we needed was brokers.

Guys with sales experience.

So I recruited some of my hometown boys.

Sea Otter, who sold meat and weed.

Chester, who sold tires and weed. And Robbie, who sold anything he could get

his hands on.

Mostly weed.

This is Brad.

And Brad's the guy I really wanted. But he didn't go along with us. He was

already making so much money selling Quaaludes, he'd become the... Quaalude

King of Bayside.

Got any pussy with that thing or what? Yeah, man, of course, man. Let's bring

some of them chicks around here sometime, huh? Let them watch.

Let them watch.

You know what I mean?

Hey, Zip.

You tell your sister I was asking about her.

Why don't you bring me a pair of her panties next time you come through?

Yeah, man, she said they don't want to talk to you anymore, man.

Get the fuck out of here.

Hey, Ma, we got chicken or what?

Ma!

You listening?

It's easier than you think.

Every person you're on the phone with, they want to get rich and they want to

get rich quickly. They don't want something for nothing. There was this

one time that I was selling pot to this Amish dude. You know those guys who got

like the beard with like no mustache or some bullshit?

Well, he says that he only wants to make furniture.

I don't understand.

What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm not putting words in your mouth or nothing, but you just said that

everybody wants to get rich.

Holy fuck, you did just say that. Yeah, you did just say that.

What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I'm like Buddhists. They don't

give a shit about money. They're wrapped in sheets. They're not buying shit.

I'm not talking about Buddhists or Amish. I'm talking about normal people,

working class, everyday people. Everyone wants to get rich. Am I crazy? There's

no such thing as Amish Buddhists. I'm pretty fucking sure. I didn't say Amish

Buddhists. Do you guys not want to make money? I don't want to make some fucking

money. I don't want to make some fucking money. I could sell anything.

Shit, I could sell Lou's to a convent full of nuns and get them so horny...

There you go.

That's the attitude.

You could sell anything. Sell me this fucking pen right here. You could sell

anything. Sell that. Go ahead.

Sell me that pen.

Can I finish eating first? I need it tonight.

Brad, show him how it's done.

Boom. Sell me that pen. Watch. Go on. You want me to sell this fucking pen?

That's my boy right there. This pen.

Fucking sell anything.

Why don't you do me a favor? Write your name down on that napkin for me.

I don't have a pen.

Exactly. Supplying demand like that. See what I'm saying? He's creating urgency.

They're getting to want to buy the stuff. It's something that they need.

You know what I mean? And that's the thing.

All nuns are lesbians.

What the fuck are we talking about, Otter? Think about it. They can't keep a

dude, so they're gonna start... Four times, Kimmy. Four times. He's not with

us. He's not with us. Look, I knew these guys weren't like Harvard MBAs.

Robbie Feinberg, the pinhead, took five years to finish high school.

Alden Kupferberg, the sea otter, didn't even graduate.

Chester Ming, the depraved Chinaman, thought jujitsu was in Israel.

Smartest of the bunch was Nicky Koskoff. He actually went to law school.

I called him Rugrat because of his piece of shit hairpiece.

Still, give them to me young, hungry, and stupid, and in no time, I'll make

them rich.

Oh, my God.

You like it, baby?

It's beautiful.

They're not the biggest stones in the world, but I promise they're really high

quality. It's beautiful.

That's so beautiful.

Oh, boy.

What? I know that look.

What is it? Go ahead. I don't know. It's, you know, these stocks, these

companies, they're like crappy companies.

Well, yeah.

Yeah, they're terrible.

Don't worry about it. I told you, what I'm doing is completely legal. Yeah, no,

but they're, like, not gonna make anyone money, though, right?

Well, sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. You know how it goes.

Yeah, but wouldn't you feel better if you sold that stuff to rich people who

can, like, afford to lose all that money?

Of course.

But rich people don't buy penny stocks.

They just don't.

Why not?

Because they're too smart.

That's why not. I mean, what person with a college education would trust this

bunch of jerk-offs? I got five fucking grand on the phone right now. But what

if they didn't sound like a bunch of jerk-offs? What if I could teach them

how to sell to people with money?

Real money.

So I decided to reinvent the company.

Gentlemen, welcome to Stratton Oakmont. You schnooks will now be targeting

the wealthiest 1%.

of Americans.

Talking about whales here.

Moby fucking dicks.

And with this script, which is now your new harpoon, I'm going to teach each and

every one of you to be Captain fucking Ahab.

Get it? Huh?

Captain who?

Captain Ahab. From the fucking... From the book, motherfucker.

From the book.

Turn your fucking drain on.

Listen to me. We're a new company with a new name.

A company that our clients can believe in.

A company that our clients can trust.

A firm whose roots are so deeply embedded into Wall Street that our very

founders sailed over on the Mayflower and chiseled the name Stratton Oakmont

right into fucking rock.

You got it?

What we're going to do is this.

First, we pitch them Disney, AT&T, IBM, blue chip stocks exclusively.

Companies these people know.

Once we've suckered them in, we unload the dog shit, the pink sheets, the penny

stocks, where we make the money.

50% commission, baby.

Now, the key to making money in a situation like this is to position

yourself now before the settlement. Because by the time you read about it in

the Wall Street Journal, it's already too late.

And you wait.

You wait. And whoever speaks first loses.

I appreciate the call. I really have to give this some thought and talk to my

wife about it.

Can I call you back? They don't know, right? They got to think about it. They

got to talk to their fucking wives or the fucking tooth fairy.

Point is, it doesn't matter what the fuck they say. The only real objection

that they have is that they don't trust you guys.

Why should they trust you? I mean, look at you. You're a bunch of fucking sleazy

salesmen, right?

So... What do you say? You mean to tell me that if I put you in at Union Carbide

at a 7, it took you out at 32?

Texas Instruments at 11 and took you out at 47?

U.S. Steel at 16, took you out at 41?

You wouldn't be saying to me right now, Chester, pick me up a few thousand

shares of Dizzy on the spot right now. Come on. I mean, honestly, Kevin,

honestly. Seriously?

I am in complete agreement with you. You don't know me. I don't know you. Let me

just take a moment to introduce myself to you. My name is Alton Kupferberg.

Robbie Feinberg. Chester Meng. I'm Senior Vice President at Stratton

Oakmont, and I plan on being one of the top brokers in my firm next year. And

I'm not going to get there by being wrong, Stan. I do want to say that. You

sound like a pretty sincere guy.

It's not going to make you rich, and it's not going to make you poor. But

what this trade will do is serve as a benchmark for future business, Kevin. Do

you feel comfortable with me now, Scott? And then you'll know for sure.

that you finally found a broker on Wall Street that you can trust and who can

consistently make you money.

Sound fair enough?

No, yeah, you're... I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.

What do you... I don't know, what are you thinking? Kevin, you give me one

shot here on a blue-chip stock like Kodak, and believe me, Kevin, the only

problem... you're gonna have is that you didn't buy more sound fair enough

my

wife might divorce me but yeah let's do it

excellent choice kevin how much you want to go for this time let's do five five

thousand dollars let me try eight thousand kevin all right let's do ten

ten

Excellent choice. Kevin, let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you

in a few minutes with an exact confirmation. Kevin, and welcome to

Stratton Oakmont. Thanks, man. I'm going to have a beer.

It's fun.

Take it easy, Kev.

Hey, thanks, Jordan. Thanks a lot.

Fuck that motherfucker!

What a fucking idiot. The one

thing I know about in this world is airlines.

And Kushan Airlines is the future of airlines.

Get in now. My name is Nicky Cosco. Chester Ming. And I'm a senior vice

president at Strad Novo.

Judy, I am so, so, so sorry for your loss.

When did he pass? Just say I'm wrong. Right? The stock goes down a couple of

points. In the words of my grandfather, God rest his soul, a shit ton of money.

It's like getting in on fucking sunlight before there was fucking sunlight. You

understand? I'm wrong!

That was a very intelligent decision. I'm going to transfer you to my sales

associate. Yeah, Ronda!

Ronda! I'm going to put you through to Andrea.

Has anybody fucking seen Ronda?

Everybody have a good week?

End of the month, $28.7 million in gross commissions, all from pink sheet stock,

boys!

with our weekly act of debauchery. I have offered our lovely sales assistant

Danielle Harrison here $10,000 to shave her fucking head!

for breast implants, she's already got C-cups, but now she wants fucking double

D's! Is this a great fucking company or what?

spread throughout Wall Street, even to places I didn't want it to.

It wasn't long before

Forbes magazine, the flagship of Wall Street, called to do a profile on me.

Let me ask you, how do you see the future for Stratton Oakmont?

One word?

Diversification. Sounds good.

Thank you so much. I have more than enough. I appreciate your time.

Fantastic. Fantastic. Can we get a quick picture?

A total fucking hatchet job. This conniving little twat. Look at this. The

wolf of Wall Street, they call me. Look.

Your hair looks good.

My hair looks good? Yeah.

Jordan Belfort, sounding like a kind of twisted Robin Hood who takes from the

rich and gives to himself and his merry little band of brokers. Read that. Read

it. Listen, there is no such thing.

As bad publicity, sweetheart. Jordan,

you look great. You're in a huge magazine.

It's

the

Forbes article. They all want to work for you now.

Hey, what did I say?

Hey, you want to...

Forbes made me a superstar.

Every day, dozens of money-crazed kids beat a path to my door.

If we hired them, they dropped straight out of college overnight and spent

whatever allowance they had on a new suit from our Stratton tailor.

Are you fucking serious right now? I mean, we were literally putting clothes

on these kids' backs.

And here comes this jerk-off sniffing around.

But you know, every time someone rises up in this world, there's always going

to be some asshole trying to drag them down.

Within months, we doubled in size, moved to even bigger offices.

It was a madhouse, a greed fest, with equal parts

cocaine, testosterone, and body fluids.

It got so bad, I had to declare the office a fuck-free zone between the

hours of 9 and 7.

But I'm telling you, even that didn't help.

Actually, the madness started on our very first day, when one of our brokers,

Ben Jenner, christened the elevator by getting a blowjob from a sales

assistant. Her name was Pam, and to her credit, she did have this amazing

technique with this wild twist and jerk motion.

About a month later...

Donnie and I decided to double-team her on a Saturday afternoon while our wives

were out shopping for Christmas dresses.

Eventually, Ben married her, which was pretty amazing considering she blew

every single guy in the office.

He got depressed and killed himself three years later.

Anyway, I hired my dad, Max, to maintain order as the enforcer.

Stratton's very own Gestapo.

We called him Mad Max because of his hair-trigger temper.

which could be set off by something as innocuous as a ringing telephone.

Who the fuck has the goddamn gall to call his house on a Tuesday night?

God damn it! You're gonna miss it! Oh, please, tell me something I don't know.

I wait all week for the fucking equalizer, and I have to fucking...

Hello? But as soon as he picked up the phone... Gene, how are you, Gene?

He'd affect this weird British accent. Right-o, Gene, that'd be great.

Cheerio.

Absolutely bizarre. Fucking half-wit! He'd hang up. You missed it!

And then he's Mad Max all over again.

Get it!

All right.

Tell me, what happened? What happened?

Well, he discovered it was the mother's sister. Who's he? Who? Tell me who he

is. The main guy. You know who the main guy is. The main guy. It was his

mother's sister. She showed up dead.

Of course, Mad Max didn't have to know everything we were doing at Stratton.

And then there's a big target, and they get launched at the target. They stick.

There's a bullseye, and the bullseye is a dollar sign. Whoever gets closer to

the dollar sign gets the most points. I'm going to throw the shit out of this

little fucking thing. Yeah, you should fucking toss it. So, if it gets hurt.

What happens? Because we're gonna get fucking nuts. I don't think he's gonna

get hurt. They're like, they got like superhuman strength. I think he's gonna

be fine.

You can't look him right in the eyes. You can't look him in the eye?

That's a fact. I saw it on PBS.

They get confused and their wires get crossed. You gotta look like the chin.

Like, it looks like I'm looking at you, but I'm looking at your chin. I feel

like you're addressing me right now, but you're not, are you? They're like the

Mona Lisa. They find eye contact, like, wherever you're standing in the room,

and then they lock in, you know? No, but there is a limit to what we could do

with them. I mean, we're allowed to throw shit at them. We're allowed to

throw food, bananas.

But, for example, what I wouldn't do is maybe, like, tell him to pull his cock

out and, like, get some of the girls to... you know, fondle them and shit

like that. I mean, let's keep that in our back pocket, but this guy is more

about throwing at the dog boy. Correct, yes, yes, yes. The thing is, this is

their gift, okay? They're built to be thrown like a lawn dart. They're top

-heavy like a lawn dart, so they're built for accuracy.

Oh, my God. Can we bowl with this guy?

That's his fucking brother, Rob. His brother's the bowling ball. The brother,

you put a skateboard on him, you strap him to a skateboard, you toss him down

an alley at some pins.

No shit, that's interesting.

Can we get that guy? We'll get that guy, too. But it says here, this guy will

show his cock.

Yeah, instead of growing up. Yeah, they are very ornery, by the way, so you got

to be very careful with these little guys. Safety first. Safety is first, all

right? I want somebody with a fucking tranquilizer gun ready to knock this

fucker out. Do we want to get, like, a... Mace, taser guns. A pellet gun,

maybe? No, a pellet gun is going to hurt him. I just want him out, knocked out. I

say we stick with the loophole, right, okay?

If we don't consider him a human, we just consider it an act, I think we're

in the clear. Like, the Flying Walendas, you know, a lot of those guys died, but

they never sued anybody.

The important thing you guys got to keep in mind is that these things gossip.

They get together and they gossip. That's a good point. And the last thing

that we need is them getting together and saying, oh, listen, they made fun of

us. Like, it's going to make Stratton look bad. That's why I love you. You

think of shit like that. So they come in, we treat it just like one of us,

okay? That's one of us.

Gobble, gobble, one of us. We accept that one of us. Gobble, gobble, one of

us. We accept that one of us. Gobble, gobble, one of us.

Your dad's coming. Something about the American Express bill? Can you get him

out of here? Yeah, lick my twat. No, I'm serious.

Fuck.

$430,000 in one month, Jordy? Huh?

$430,000 in one fucking month. Morning.

They're business expenses.

Relax. Business expenses? Yes. Jordy, look what you got here. What? Look at

this. $26,000 for one fucking dinner.

Okay. No, no, no. This could be explained.

Dad, we had clients.

We had the Pfizer clients. Right. The porterhouse from Argentina. The

expensive champagne and the wine. We had to buy champagne. And you ordered all

the fucking sides. Tell them about the sides you ordered. I ordered the sides.

Sides? $26,000 worth of... The sides?

What are these sides? They cure cancer?

The sides did cure cancer. That's the problem.

That's why they were expensive.

Shut the fuck up. I'm serious. Stop.

EJ Entertainment.

What the fuck is EJ Entertainment?

Well, that's, uh... Yeah, Jord, what's EJ Entertainment? How do I describe

this? Jord, what is that? It's a fucking prostitution ring, Jordy. I know. That's

what it is. That's, that's, that is what it is. Isn't that the perfect

description for it? That is what it is, but none of these were charged to me.

This is all of them. Oh, that was all us.

It wasn't me, though. Fucking explain this shit to them. These are all your

fucking charges right here. You guys, the IRS, they allow for T&A. It's fine.

T&A.

T&E. Yeah, I said T&E. No, no, you said T&A. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. When

did I say that? You said T&A. It's T&E. I know you're upset about the dinner,

and that makes sense because we did spend too much money, but I said T&E.

Don't tell me what you said. I heard what you said. He said T&A. He did. He

said T&A. Absolutely no question. I heard it. I'm trying to... I'm getting

this close.

I'm getting this close.

That's what I'm saying. I want you to open up more, Max. He's gonna fucking

kill you. Why do you hold it in?

Max, Max, why do you hold it in? That's it. That's it. Get the fuck...

What kind of hooker takes credit cards?

A rich one. At Stratton, there were three kinds of hookers. The blue chips,

top of the line, model material.

They cost between $300 and $500, and you had to wear a condom unless you gave

them a hefty tip, which, of course, I always did.

Then came the Nasdaqs, who were pretty not great. They cost between $200 and

$300.

Finally, there were the pink sheets, skanks.

They cost about $100 or less. And if you didn't wear a condom, you'd have to get

a penicillin shot the next day and pray your dick didn't fall off. Not that we

didn't fuck them, too.

Believe me, we did.

Ow! It's that slipped disc thing again.

I know what it is. You know, too much with EJ Entertainment.

Pops. How are things at home?

Well, not the best.

She just doesn't, you know what I'm saying?

It's like the smell, there's a smell, there's a traction thing, and after a

while, it just kind of fades away a little bit. Yeah, well, it's supposed to

fade away.

Supposed to? That's marriage.

You know, your mother and I, we've been married a long, long time. What do you

think? We're jumping into bed every two minutes? It doesn't work that way. I

love her to death. I want to stay married, Dad, but...

The things they're doing now, Pops, I mean, it's on a whole other level.

Really? And they're all shaved, too. Get out of here. They're all shaven now. Are

you kidding me? Yeah. No bush? Bald as a china dog. No bush?

No bush. I know. Oh, my God. All of a sudden, one week, nobody had anything

down there anymore. It's a new world. They're bald from the eyebrows down.

Wow. Nothing. Not a stitch. It's like lasers. Wow. New world, see?

I was born too early.

I've never been a fan of the bush, to be honest.

Really? Yeah.

I don't mind it.

Dad, I don't want you stressing out about any of this. How can I not get

stressed out? Look at the knuckleheads you got working for you. I know they're

knuckleheads, but I need them to want to live like me. You get it? To live like

me.

Geordie, you know, one of these days, the chickens are gonna come home to

roost.

You're looking at me like I'm crazy.

Crazy?

This is obscene.

It was obscene.

In the normal world.

I mean, who the fuck wanted to live there?

Fuck Merrill Lynch. Fuck them. Why should they be taking all our fucking

money all the fucking time? This way we become the underdog. It was our next big

move. Finding companies to take public.

IPOs. It was the only way these Wall Street pricks would ever stop thinking

of us as some shit-kicker bucket shop.

We got Arncliffe International.

See, we were a little different. We liked to get as fucked up as possible

during our business powwows in order to stimulate our free-flowing ideas, which

is why we were popping these lewds like they were M&Ms.

We own the companies.

Don't know what a lewd is? I'll tell you.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Looks like those lewds are working their magic on Donnie right now.

The Quaalude.

or lewd, as it is commonly referred to, was first synthesized in 1951 by an

Indian doctor that's dots, not feathers, as a sedative and was prescribed to

stressed-out housewives with sleep disorders.

But pretty soon, someone figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep

for just 15 minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass high from it.

Didn't take long for people to start abusing lewds, of course. And in 1982,

the U.S. government's schedule won them, along with the rest of the world, which

meant there was only a finite amount of these things left.

No shit.

You can't even buy them anymore.

You people are all shit out of luck.

What is it? Steve Madden.

Steve Madden.

Steve. Steve.

You remember those ads?

Those giant-headed girls with the bug eyes wearing those big clunky shoes?

My friend from school, Steve Madden. His friend from school, Steve Madden. Steve

Madden was the name in women's shoes at the moment, and all of Wall Street was

begging to take his company public.

Go ahead, go ahead. Except guess who grew up with him? Women's shoes!

Women's shoes!

My very own vice president.

Women's shoes!

Diamond Donnie Azoff.

Steve Madden. Steve. Steve.

I would fuck that girl if she was my sister. I would let that girl give me

fucking AIDS.

This is my friend Naomi.

Hi. Naomi.

Nice to meet you.

Naomi, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. We've got an awesome place here.

I don't think I've ever been in a house this big before. Oh, really?

Yeah. Beautiful beach out there. Blair, Raleigh's worth.

Hi, Blair. Nice to meet you. My name's Blair, right? Yeah.

You like to jet ski?

I've never done it before.

You've never jet skied in your life? No, I've never jet skied. You've never been

on a jet ski? No, I haven't. How many times are you going to ask her if she's

never been on a jet ski?

I don't know, I might ask her a couple more times.

Hi, I'm Hilde.

Nice to meet you.

Jordan Teresa needs your help.

Yeah, I'll be out in a couple minutes. Just tell her I'll be out in a couple

minutes. Why don't you tell your wife that?

I might do that, but I'm having a conversation.

You know what? I think we should get going.

Wait, wait. Where are you guys going? We gotta go. We got two other parties we're

supposed to get to. We can stay for a drink. Yeah, stay for a drink.

We got two other parties we're supposed to get to.

Why don't you let her stay for a little bit?

Let her stay for a little bit. What's the big deal?

You like champagne?

Donny, what the fuck are you doing?

You guys,

you're going to have to excuse my friend.

Get the fuck out of here.

Let him fucking finish, Hildy. That's fucking rude.

So Bay Ridge, that's near Staten Island, right? Brooklyn, across the Verrazano

Bridge. It's Saturday Night Fever territory. That's right.

Guinea Gulch.

They call the Verrazano Bridge the Guinea Gangplank.

Right. So I presume you're Italian?

On my dad's side, I'm also Dutch, German, English.

I'm a mutt.

And you're a mutt. Yeah. I still have family over there, though, in London.

My Aunt Emma.

She's the best.

Very British, you know.

She's a classy lady.

That explains it, then.

Explains what?

Explains you.

I mean, you're a duchess, right? You're the duchess of Bay Ridge.

Excuse me.

Can I get a straw, please?

Thank you.

So I was, um, a little surprised you asked Christy for my number.

What is that?

Aren't you married?

Well, yeah, but what?

Married people can't have friends.

We're gonna be friends?

Yeah. You wanna be my friend?

We're not gonna be friends.

And at night, I work on my designs.

I have an entire line of lingerie. You know, camisoles, bustiers, panties.

She designs women's panties, too? Oh, my God.

Come on, Jordan.

Think of a way to get up to her apartment.

You want to come up for some tea or something?

Tea, yeah.

Like hot tea.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that sounds nice. Tea, fuck yeah, I wanted to come up for tea.

Like Darjeeling, rose hips, something nice like that. Sure.

Rocky, what is this?

Oh, who's this? Say hi, Rocky. Hi, sweetheart.

Say hi.

Okay. Well, why don't you light a fire or something and I'll be right out.

Yeah, fire? Yeah, sure.

I like your painting here. It's...

God

help me. How do I fuck this girl?

You all right?

Yeah, yeah. Just trying to light this fire in here.

That's it. That's it. You're leaving. Don't get involved.

Go home to your wife.

As you can probably guess, I fucked her goddamn brains out.

Jesus, Lord.

For 11 seconds.

Did you just come?

Oh, yeah, I just came.

Did you? Did you come?

No. No?

Okay.

I'm still hard, so just give me a sec. I'll... Sure?

Yeah.

Come on, baby. Come on, come on.

Oh, buddy.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

God!

Back off, Rocky!

Get off. Do you have a biscuit or something like that? It's okay.

Come on. Let's keep going. Rocky, go play.

Go play, Rocky. Go, go, go.

You're crazy. I couldn't get enough.

I mean, her pussy was like heroin to me. And it wasn't just about the sex either.

Naomi and I got along.

I mean, we had similar interests and shit.

You!

Get out of the fucking car!

Relax, sweetheart.

Relax. Son of a fucking bitch!

Stop!

Please.

Bitch!

What are you doing here? I thought you were... Jesus Christ!

What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you were at the fucking beach. I

didn't know you were here.

That's where you've fucking been?

With that fucking whore for the party? What are you doing here? I thought you

were at the beach house.

Who the fuck are you, Jordan?

You're like a completely different fucking person.

I made a mistake. I don't know what to do. I'll tell you, babe, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Is that what you want?

Do you love her?

Answer me.

I felt horrible.

Three days later, I filed for a divorce and moved Naomi into the apartment.

Say what you will, but the duchess did have style.

She brought in a decorator, feng shui'd the whole place. She even hired a gay

butler. This guy was smart, sophisticated, professional.

I mean, really, really great.

Jasmine?

Yes, sir. I tried to stump you this evening. Very good.

Very good. Great nose.

Except for that one time.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hey.

Is it Wednesday already?

Uh... What the fuck?

That is fucking...

You must have thought we were still at the Hamptons this weekend, you know?

What were they doing at, sweetheart? Well, they were everywhere. There were

two guys over there on the table. There were more over here. There were four

right here. Oh, God, are you fucking serious right there?

Why don't you tell me, sweetheart? Baby, it gets worse.

After they left, I checked the apartment.

Ryan, what?

What is it, babe? What?

Where's my money? I don't know where your money is. Where's my fucking...

Money, where is it? I don't know where your money is, Mr. Belfort. I didn't do

anything. You don't know where my money is? He's lying to his fucking teeth.

Let's start from the beginning. Let's start from the beginning, right? You

invited some friends over, right? Yes. One thing led to another. Things got out

of hand. We understand that. We do blow all the time. We're fucking degenerates

ourselves. Look at us, right?

But money was stolen from my apartment right from my sock drawer.

Like I said, I don't know where your money is. Just start from the beginning.

Who came over? It was just a normal day. I knew you were coming home the next

day, so everything would be fine. It would be cleaned up.

I got a little high at breakfast.

So I got a little happy. I had some eggs. I had a little bit of ice cream.

And then I said, who do I know that likes ice cream? It's my friend Rudy.

So I called Rudy. Who's Rudy? Who's Rudy? Yeah, who's Rudy? Who's Rudy?

You know who Rudy is. Come on. You know who Rudy is? I don't know.

Who the fuck is Rudy? I don't know anyone named Rudy. You know, last month,

the lollipop club. You know who Rudy was, dancing.

You know Rudy?

I don't.

I don't know if I fucking know any... What do you mean? So he went to the

lollipop club? Oh, he was at the lollipop club for sure. On the stage,

grinding with everybody.

I got fucked up. I like to dance. I don't know.

Maybe I met him, maybe I didn't. I meet a lot of fucking people. Listen to me.

$50,000 was stolen from my fucking sock drawer. All my girlfriend's jewelry is

now gone. Where the fuck is it? Rudy? What the fuck? Fucking little faggot

friend Rudy take my shit.

Did he?

Answer me.

Okay, now I get it. Now I get why... This is a gay thing. Oh! I see all of

you.

This is because you're a fag.

My cousin's a fucking faggot, and I go on vacation with him and his boyfriend.

I love fags. He might be in charge, right? I will not be stolen from, you

get that? I fucking like gay people. I don't like you. You don't like gay

people? You should have hired a fucking Mexican like I have in my fucking house.

Why? Shit!

The fuck are you?

Fuck off!

Chester and Toby, they went all Yakuza on Nicholas. You know, they got crazy. I

had to call the cops just to keep him from killing the poor guy.

I gave him each a thousand bucks and told him what Nicholas had done.

Then they kicked his ass.

It's not like I cared about the 50 grand anyway.

I was making that much almost every day through one rat hole or another.

Now, a rat hole is a friend, like Brad here, who held stock in his name.

from me.

I'd drive the price up, then he'd sell and kick most of the profits back to,

you guessed it, me.

All cash.

None of it's on the books. A big no-no, of course, in the eyes of the law.

Enter our new securities attorney, Manny Riskin.

700 bucks an hour to be the voice.

Listen to me. You piss up the SEC's leg, you end up with your tits in a wringer.

Will you not worry about it? I have the SEC under control.

What the fuck are these imbeciles doing?

Hey! Hey! What are you doing? Hey! We got the SEC in here! The Securities and

Exchange Commission sent two lawyers down to review our files. So I set them

up in our conference room, and I had it bugged, and the air conditioning turned

up so high that it felt like Antarctica in there. Is it always this cold in

here?

I don't know.

Then, while they were looking for a smoking gun in that room, I was going to

fire off a bazooka in here, offering up our latest IPO.

An IPO is an initial public offering. It's the first time a stock is offered

for sale to the general population.

Now, as the firm taking the company public, we set the initial sales price

and sold those shares right back to our friends. Look.

I know you're not following what I'm saying anyway, right? That's okay.

That doesn't matter.

The real question is this.

Was all this legal?

Absolutely fucking not.

But we were making more money than we knew what to do with.

What do you do when you're making more money than you know what to do with?

Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure.

Yeah, I'm sure. You sure?

Yeah.

I held my bachelor party at the Mirage in Las Vegas. The flight there alone was

a bacchanal. One last blowout for the gods before I settled down for good.

100 strat knights, 50 hookers, plus 50 more waiting once we landed.

Oh, and the drugs. I mean, I tell you, our plane was like a pharmacy with

wings.

All told, the weekend cost me two million bucks, including the cost of

refurbishing the entire 28th floor.

Kiss the bride.

Ah, but the wedding was something out of a fairy tale.

With Naomi, my duchess, me, her handsome duke, and the Bahamas Ocean Club, our

castle.

Of course, after the bachelor party, me, the Duke, needed a few penicillin shots

so he could safely consummate the marriage.

Hey, Barry Kleinman filming the wedding.

Jordan,

remember what I told you. It involves your penis and her vagina.

And you knew.

You know what you can do, Jordy.

She got to pack much back. So, fellas.

Yeah. Fellas. Yeah.

How you doing?

Pleasure to finally meet you.

Person. Into the doughnuts, I see.

Oh, I... I... Well... I lived through the 60s, my dear.

Enjoy the day.

It's me.

I didn't even know. John.

Just one more step.

Where are we going?

Keep your eyes closed.

One, two, three.

What is this?

It's your wedding present.

What? It's your wedding present, sweetheart.

Are you serious?

A fucking yacht?

For millionaires whose ships have come in, pricey pleasure boats offer the most

fun afloat.

It's no coincidence that it's 150 feet of green hull is the color of cash.

Anchors away! Oh my God!

Baby!

You like it?

You like it? Yes!

For three weeks, we sailed the Naomi through the Caribbean, eventually

taking her home to Long Island where we bought a house.

Seven acres on the Gold Coast of Long Island, the most expensive real estate

in the world, with maids, cooks, landscapers, you name it. We even had

two guards who worked in shifts, both named Rocco.

It was heaven on earth.

Wake up, you piece of shit! Ow!

Who's Venice?

Huh? Who?

Who? Who? Who? What are you, a fucking owl? Who is she? I don't know. What's

up, little hooky? You were fucking last night?

What the fuck are you talking about? No, no way, baby, no!

You were calling her name in your sleep.

Venice is? What the fuck does that even mean?

Venice! Venice is the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my fucking life!

Venice?

Venice, baby, where are you?

Venice?

Venice?

Where'd you go, huh?

Oh, baby.

Oh, you're gonna play rough, huh?

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Wolfie wolfie wolfie wolfie wolfie. Yes, my favorite baby. It's my safe. I don't

give a fuck about your safe

That's

right That's right. I forgot Forgot me the Donnie and I were in investing in a

condominium complex in Venice. That's why that's why all this

in italy not italy california oh california you're a lying piece of shit

duchess baby come on fucking duchess me don't you duchess me i'm sorry do you

really think that i don't know what you're up to you're a father now jordan

yeah you're a father now i know and you're still active

Bullshit!

besides swiping my fucking credit card all day, huh?

Because I can't keep track of your professions, honey. Because last month

you were a wine connoisseur. Now you're an aspiring landscape architect.

Let me get that right. Don't fucking dare throw that fucking water at me.

Don't you fucking dare.

All right, honey?

And we can just, we can talk this out, all right?

Just use our words, you know?

Communicate, okay?

Come on, sweetheart.

Stop flexing your muscles, Jordan. You look like a fucking imbecile.

Babe, come on. You should feel... You should feel happy you got a husband

who's in such great shape like this, huh?

Come here.

Come on, give me a kiss.

You look so beautiful right now. Come on. Kiss you? You look so beautiful.

Kiss you? Yeah, give me one. Fuck you!

Ah, yes.

My morning ritual.

First, I'd get up and fight with Naomi about whatever it is I did the night

before. Next was a steam so I could sweat out the drugs still in my system.

Then I'd assess the damage, drown out my eyeballs, take my back pills to get the

day started, then seek to make up with Naomi.

Good morning, Daddy.

Where's my kiss?

Hey, sweetheart.

Did Daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls, huh?

Oh, no.

No, Daddy doesn't even get to touch Mommy.

for a very, very, very long time.

Daddy's really sorry about what he said near the room. He didn't mean any of it.

Daddy shouldn't waste his time.

And from now on, it's gonna be nothing but short, short skirts

around the house.

And you know something else, Daddy?

Mommy is just so sick and tired. Tired of wearing panties.

Yeah? Yeah.

In fact, she's decided to throw them all

away.

So take a good look, Daddy.

You're gonna be seeing an awful lot of this around the house.

But no touching.

Oh, gosh.

How?

What's wrong, Daddy?

Oh, baby.

Oh, God.

Look at this shit.

Okay.

Mommy likes to play games with Daddy.

Mommy, have you ever noticed... Anything odd about Mr.

Fuzzy Bear over there?

His eyes seem to be a little bit odd, don't they?

Yeah, there's something a little bit different about his eyes.

Yes, I think it's true! Say hi, Mommy!

Say hi to Rocco and Rocco! Say hi! Hi, fellas! See that, huh?

Of all the fucking days, she chooses today to give me blue balls. I mean,

today was the biggest day in Stratton's history, and I needed to be thinking

straight. Hey, Jordan.

Welcome. Steve here yet? This was the day that we launched the Steve Madden

IPO. Troops are all here. Everyone's all rallied, excited. Everything had to run

tight. It had to be perfect. What the fuck is that kid doing?

What's he doing?

The biggest IPO in this firm's history. What the fuck? What the fuck is he

doing?

Is he wearing a bow tie?

Hi.

How you doing?

Good.

Maybe you cleaned the fishbowl?

I just... I had a minute and I... You had a minute?

And today you needed to clean the fishbowl? I finished my paperwork and I

just had a couple minutes.

Okay. Nice to meet you.

A new issue day?

A cocksucking motherfucking new issue day?

This is what you do?

Hey, everybody, listen up.

This is what happens when you fuck with your pets on new issue day.

Take

your

little bow tie, get your shit, and get the... Fuck out of my office, you

understand? Get the fuck out!

Everybody on point!

We are here to make money! Everybody on point!

A real wolf pit, which is exactly how I liked it.

Enter Steve Madden.

Red hot ladies footwear in Presario.

And thanks to Donnie, we were taken as company public.

Stratton Oakmont was crawling out of the primordial ooze.

Pond scum no more.

That's why they gotta see your face. You get them fired up so they push the shit

out of this stock, okay? And not only that, Donnie and I secretly owned 85% of

Steve Madden's shoes.

Which, legally speaking, was a big no-no. But we'd get filthy fucking rich

if our troops got behind it. Our job was to get them worked up.

But not too worked up.

For those of you who don't know me, my name's Steve Madden. Yeah, we know who

you are.

Your name is on the box.

Show him the shoes.

Show him the shoes. Okay, yeah.

Anyway, you know, this shoe, this is pretty cool. This is the Mary Lou, which

is really the shoe that put me on the map. Without it, I wouldn't be here.

It's a fat girl shoe. Believe it or not, believe it or not, though, the Mary Lou

is actually the same as the Mary Jane, but it's black leather.

Give it up for Steve Madden and his awesome Mary Lou. Hold that up. Hold

that up. Hold that up proud.

Give him a round of applause.

You guys got that out of your systems, huh?

You having a good afternoon or what?

I want to take a moment to tell you why Steve here is so absolutely off the

fucking wall.

It's because this man is a creative genius.

This ability, this gift that Steve has.

It goes beyond just spotting the hottest shoe trends.

Steve's power is that he creates trends.

You understand?

Artists like Steve come along once every decade. I'm talking Giorgio Armani,

Gianni Versace, Coco Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent.

Steve, come up here for a second.

I don't think you all realize that Steve Madden is the hottest person.

in the women's shoe industry with orders going through the roof at every

department store in North America right now.

We have him here at our office.

We should thank our fucking lucky stars this man is here. We should be on our

hands and knees right now getting ready to suck this guy off.

All right? Like this, okay?

I want to suck you off, Steve.

Everyone's going to suck you off.

This is our golden ticket to the fucking chocolate factory right here.

And I want to meet Willy fucking Wonka, okay?

I want to be with the fucking Oompa Loompas like this.

All right, get off this fucking stage. Get out of here.

All right, I want you to focus for a second.

See those little black boxes?

They're called telephones. I'm going to let you in on a little secret about

these telephones.

They're not going to dial themselves, okay?

Without you...

They're just worthless hunks of plastic.

Like a loaded M16 without a trained marine to pull the trigger.

And in the case of the telephone, it's up to each and every one of you.

My highly trained Stratonites.

My killers.

My killers who will not take no for an answer.

My fucking warriors.

Who will not hang up the phone.

until their client either buys or fucking dies!

Let

me

tell you something.

There is no nobility in poverty.

I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man.

I choose rich every fucking time.

Because at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in

the back of a limo, wearing a $2,000 suit and a $40,000 gold fucking watch.

Now,

if anyone here thinks I'm superficial or materialistic... Go get a job at fucking

McDonald's, because that's where you fucking belong.

But before you depart this room full of winners, I want you to take a good look

at the person next to you. Go on.

Because sometime in the not-so-distant future, you're going to be pulling up to

a red light, and you beat up old fucking Pinot, and that person's going to be

pulling up right alongside you in that brand-new Porsche with that beautiful

wife by their side.

who's got big voluptuous tits.

And who are you going to be sitting next to?

Some disgusting wildebeest with three days of razor stubble and a sleeveless

muumuu crammed in next to you in a carload full of groceries from the

fucking Price Club.

That's who you're going to be sitting next to.

So you listen to me and you listen well.

Are you behind on your credit card bills?

Good. Pick up the phone and start dialing.

Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good.

Pick up the phone and start dialing. Does your girlfriend think you're a

fucking worthless loser?

Good. Pick up the phone and start dialing. I want you to deal with your

problems by becoming rich.

All you have to do today is pick up that phone and speak the words that I have

taught you, and I will make you richer than the most powerful CEO in the United

States of fucking America.

I want you to go out there and I want you to ram Steve Madden's stock down

your clients' throats till they fucking choke on it.

Till they choke on it and they buy 100,000 shares. That's what I want you

to do.

You be ferocious.

You be relentless.

You be telephone fucking terrorist.

Get this motherfucker out of the bar!

At 1 p.m., we opened the stock for sale at $4.50 a share.

By 1.03, it was over $18.

Even the big Wall Street firms were buying.

Of

the

two million shares offered for sale, a million belonged to me, held in phony

accounts by my rat holes. Now, once the price hit the high teens...

You know what? Who gives a shit? As always, the point is this.

$22 billion in three fucking hours!

Can you believe it?

I fucking love this baby! It's amazing!

Tony!

Barry Kleinman's on the phone from Future Video. Who?

I don't know. He shot at your wedding. He says it's urgent.

Urgent? Who the fuck is Barry Kleinman?

Oh, my God. You want to marry me? You in love with me? Yeah, go fuck your cousin.

Barry, what's up?

Listen, uh, I got this subpoena.

Subpoena? Fuck, you're talking about? Yeah, the FBI. They want a copy of your

wedding video.

Fucking FBI?

Are you fucking kidding me? Listen to me. His name is Denim. He's an agent

with the New York office.

What's his problem? He's a Boy Scout.

He thinks you're fucking Gordon Gekko.

What is wrong with my wedding video? It's like an invasion of my privacy. You

know what I'm saying? It's like, it's intrusive.

He's got pictures of your whole inner fucking circle.

Pictures, names of the people. You know what he's trying to do? Exactly what

he's doing. Look at yourself.

He's trying to rattle you. He's trying to rattle your old lady so she nags you

until you become a fucking witness.

Or he wants me to rat on myself. He wants me to give information about my...

Listen, the good fucking news is, you know I know everybody downtown.

I call up the Justice Department, the DEA.

Nobody even knows you fucking exist, so calm down.

They don't know I exist?

No. That's good.

is, right?

Yeah. So, if I just wanted to get some more information, let me just find out

what he knows. I mean, you can go to his house, right? Tap his phones a little

bit, bug him. You can get some information. You don't fuck with these

guys like that. You don't fuck with them like that. What are you, nuts or

something? That's what you fucking do. What do I pay you for? I have a fucking

P.I. license, you know? I make a living at this. I'm not a cop anymore.

They'll take my fucking license away from me, alright?

Okay.

Okay, if I can't do that, can I just...

Can I give the guy a call?

Why? Is that Jordan?

Jordan,

do me a favor. The only one that calls this guy is your fucking lawyer. I can't

call him. I'm not against the rules.

Whatever the fuck you say to him, he's going to use it against you. Don't you

understand? He's smart. You're dumb.

I'm not allowed to call him? Are we fucking talking tonight or are you going

to get slapped?

The last time you took these fucking pills, you put your head in a fucking

macaroni out of picket.

Okay, Uncle.

Hey, fellas.

Come on board.

Plank's right around there.

Welcome.

Whew. What a nice day.

Hey.

Welcome aboard.

Jordan. Welcome aboard the night, homie. Pleasure to meet you. Agent Denim. This

is Agent Hughes. Hi, how are you?

Let me introduce you. This is Nicole.

Heidi, come on, don't be shy.

What are you guys all shy for?

Don't be scared.

These are friends of Stratton. Hello.

Um... Come on. Your message said that you wanted to speak privately.

Right, I do want to speak privately. Give us a minute, huh, ladies?

Let me know if I can get you anything.

We'd be happy to help.

You guys hungry?

Want something to eat? Got some pasta, shrimp, lobster. I got whiskey, any kind

of booze you want.

You know what? The Bureau doesn't allow us to drink while we're at sea.

Duh. I forgot, of course.

Haven't been on one of these before?

A boat?

Learned how to sail when I was six.

Oh, shit. Is that right?

I mean, on one like this, though. I mean, I had the whole front extended in

order to fit the chopper up there.

See that?

Anyway, this is for you.

It's a complete list of every person that was at my wedding. Well, I

understand you wanted the whole wedding video. Figured this would help expedite

the whole process, right?

There you go. Look, my point is that I know you're investigating Stratton, but

for the life of me, I can't figure out why.

I know we're a little unorthodox, we're a little loud in the way we do things,

but you gotta understand we're the new guys on the block, you know, trying to

make a name for ourselves. But I want you to understand, we don't...

do anything illegal whatsoever.

I mean, you could talk to the SEC.

They were at my office 15 times over the last six months. I mean, I got nothing

to hide. Well, you know the SEC is a civil regulatory agency. We pursue

criminal activities.

Exactly. You go after real criminals, which makes me wonder what the hell

you're investigating me for. I mean, honestly, what is it that you think that

we did or do? I don't get it. Well, I...

Jordan, I can't discuss an ongoing investigation.

No, I get that. No, I understand.

With that said, this case got dumped on my desk. It did?

You know, by a higher-up who needs to make a show of looking into the new

company on the block, you know, with all the press and everything. And then I end

up being the schmuck who does the looking. Exactly.

It just, you know, it bothers me. We're the new guy, and we're the one that's

banging on Wall Street's door. I mean, you should...

You should see what's going on at the bigger firms. I mean, I know all the

information. It's true. Goldman, Lehman Brothers, Merrill, collateralized debt

obligations, this Internet stock bullshit. I mean, it's a fucking

travesty. I mean, I could take you step by step to what exactly is occurring.

All you have to do is ask. I'm available.

That's exactly what I wanted to hear. I don't see why a little sit-down like

this can't be profitable for the both of us. It should.

Ryan, it should profit the both of us. It should.

Look, I'm gonna give you my personal line.

Five days a week, you just call me, feel free.

I'll do that.

Great.

You sure you guys don't want something to drink? I mean, you're not hungry?

Nothing?

Nothing? Oh, no.

No?

Let me ask you, and if you don't want to get too personal, just tell me to shut

up at any time.

Did you try to get your broker's license at one time? Did I hear that right? Were

you trying to take a stab at Wall Street?

No? Who you been talking to?

Who the fuck you been talking to? Why you investigating me? I hear things, you

know what I mean?

You ever think about what would have happened if you would have, you know,

stayed the course?

You know what, when I'm riding home on the subway and my balls are fucking

sweating, I'm wearing the same suit three days in a row, yeah, you...

You bet I do. I've thought about it before. Who wouldn't, right? Right, who

fucking wouldn't? I mean, what do you got? Another personal question you don't

need to answer? No, no, that's all right, Jordan. What are you pulling, 50,

60K, something like that?

A year? A car?

Well, let's put it this way.

You get a free handgun when you sign up for the Bureau.

No, but it fucking pisses me off. You know what I mean? You think about the

people that built this country, hardworking people like you. You know,

firefighters, teachers, FBI agents.

End of the day, you guys get... fucking skinned alive financially. Fucking makes

me angry.

That's the one thing about Wall Street and this market is, for me, I feel it's

good to give back, you know? There's situations where I can make those

situations better for people, you know? You know what I mean.

Opportunity is everything.

Exactly.

For example, I got this one kid, right?

Went to school for environmental science, something like that. He was

bogged down by student loans.

Turns out his mother needed triple bypass surgery.

Right. Horrible situation. Sure. But we got him in at the market at the right

time, chose the right stock. We gave him the right guidance.

Boom, overnight, changed his entire life. You know, got to put his mother

into the best hospital in New York City.

It didn't work out for her. Granted, she passed away, unfortunately. But we gave

him that opportunity.

You know what I'm saying?

It's just about setting up the right team, and then, overnight, your life can

change.

What if it was an intern, uh... What does an intern make a deal like that?

Well, in that situation, I mean, in that particular trade, in one trade, north of

half a million dollars.

And... I do that for anybody, you know, anybody that needs the proper guidance.

Can you say that again?

Just the way you said it.

Just the same way.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, come on. You know what I'm talking about. Just say the same thing. I think

what Jordan just did is he... If I'm not mistaken, you just tried to bribe a

federal officer. No, technically, I didn't bribe anybody. Oh, no, that's not

the conversation I heard, Jordan. No, no, no. According to the U.S. Criminal

Code, there needs to be an exact dollar figure for the exchange of services.

That would not hold up in a court of law. No, no,

no, no, no. That's the truth. But I want to tell you this. Yeah.

The same gentleman that told me that you tried to get your broker's license also

told me that you were a straight arrow.

You ran a security check on me. Well, when you sail on a boat fit for a Bond

villain, sometimes you need to play the part, right?

I think it's time you both get the fuck off my boat. What do you say?

You know, Jordan, I'll tell you something. Most of the Wall Street

jackasses that I bust, they're to the manner of war.

Is that right? Yeah. Their fathers are douchebags. Just like their fathers

before them.

But you... Thank you, Jordan. You got this way all on your own.

Did I?

Good for you, little man.

Little man?

Good for you. Me, the little man?

Let me tell you something.

Let me tell you something else.

Honestly, I'm not bullshitting here. This is one of the nicest boats that

I've ever been on. I gotta tell you. I bet it is. And you know what I was just

thinking, too?

The fucking hero that I'm gonna be back at the office.

when the Bureau seizes this fucking boat. Because, I mean, fuckity-fuck

-fuck, Jordan, look at this thing.

It's beautiful.

If you get the beautiful girls there, it's wonderful.

All right, get the fuck off my boat.

I'm sure we'll be seeing each other real soon. I'm sure. Good luck on that subway

ride home to your miserable, ugly fucking wives.

I'm going to have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. Hey, you

guys want to take some lobsters for your ride home? Fucking miserable pricks. I

know you can't afford them. Fucking cheap fucks.

Hey fellas, look what I found in my pocket. Look, a year's salary right

here. What do I call them?

Fun coupons. You know what?

A fun coupon.

Switzerland?

What the fuck is in Switzerland?

Swiss fucking banks, that's what. It was ass covering time. I had to hide my

money.

Enter Rugrat. He knew this Swiss banker from law school, but he was in Geneva,

and there was no way I was going to make that flight sober.

So I knew if I took my drugs right, I could sleep through the entire flight,

but I had to take them just right.

At 4 p.m., I popped a few more lewds, which started kicking in by the time I

finished my sales meeting, my tingle phase.

By dinner, I popped a few more on top of some cocktails and a Valium or two.

My slur phase.

By 8.30, I took a few more lewds and pretty much lost all my motor skills.

This was the drool phase.

By 10, I didn't know who or what the fuck I was.

The amnesia phase.

I boarded the plane just before midnight.

I heard

there's

a treasure map under...

Stop. I know, miss.

Please sit down.

Go back to your seat, please. Please go back to your seat. I will have to call

the captain.

Please, sir. Please sit down.

Please sit down.

I'm going.

Stop. We apologize.

I'm going to go to sleep, ma'am. Question? I want to ask you a question.

Fasten your seatbelt, please.

You cannot take off if you haven't fastened it.

Sit down.

Fasten it. I will do it for you.

What? I will do it for you. Okay. You gotta speak English. Come do it for me.

We don't understand this language.

Come here. Come here. I will help him with his keyboard. He can't seem to do

it. He's a fucking idiot. You gotta put it on right.

There you go. Yeah, there you go.

Donny, this isn't funny.

You've got to untie me, buddy.

I can't untie you.

The captain tied you up. He almost fucking tased you.

Why?

Why?

I like screaming at people.

Like rolling around and shit. Oh, Jesus. You called the captain the N-word.

I called the captain the N-word?

Yeah, he was very upset.

Really? Luckily, we're in first class. Jesus Christ, I think you have a fucking

drug problem.

Where are the lutes?

Where are the lutes?

They're up my ass. Don't worry about it. Okay?

Thank God.

Jesus Christ, what are we gonna do when we get to Switzerland, buddy? This is

bad. When things are against my chest, I can't breathe. Come on, do something to

calm me down, please.

Okay, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

Okay, shh.

That's good. Go to sleep.

Rub it harder, buddy.

You're all right.

We all love you. Shut the fuck up.

Mr.

Belfort, you're free to go.

Really?

Hey, Donny, when we get up there, try not to act like yourself, okay? Let's

make Geneva an asshole-free Donny's, all right?

What are you fucking coming to me for? Hey, listen, the only reason you're

sitting in this limo and not a Swiss jail is because of my friend, okay?

We're here, we're here, we're here. Everyone calm down. Come on.

Jordan Belfort.

At last.

Nicholas has told me so much about you.

Jordan, Jean-Jacques Sorel.

Pleasure to make your acquaintance. Nice to meet you.

It's a joke. It's not that important. You'll understand when you're in the

fucking sauna. Okay.

You need a bigger couch for guests. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't understand.

I'm sorry. I'm curious about your bank secrecy laws here.

Uh, yes.

Excusez-moi, Jordan.

Swiss custom requires ten minutes of blah, blah, blah.

Chit-chat. Yeah, chit-chat, thank you, before business can be discussed.

Of course.

Let's get down to it. What would you like to know?

Under what circumstances would you be obligated to cooperate with an FBI or a

U.S. Justice Department investigation, for example?

It depends.

It depends?

Yes.

It depends on what exactly?

whether America plans to invade Switzerland in the coming months.

So check if tanks are rolling down the Rue de la Croix, huh? Yes, Rue de la

Croix. Croix.

Croix. Not Croix. No, not Rue de la Croix.

Croix. See, this is what I used to do back in law school. Check me.

Champagne, jambon, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. French fries. Bon fruit.

And that kind of stuff.

That's fun.

What I'm asking, you Swiss dick, is are you going to fuck me over?

I understand perfectly, you American shit.

The only way the Banque Reale de Genève would cooperate with a foreign legal

body is if the crime being pursued is also a crime in Switzerland.

But there are very few Swiss laws which apply to your practices.

From a financial standpoint, you are now in heaven.

See, I told you he was fantastic, right?

If the U.S. Justice Department sent us a subpoena, it would become papier

toilette.

We would wipe our ass with it.

Unless, of course, it was an investigation into stock fraud, which is

a crime here in Switzerland, if I'm correct. Then there would have to be

cooperation on your part, if I'm not mistaken.

Yes. Yes, we would.

Assuming the account is under your name.

If it were another name, a friend, a comrade.

Cousin? Cousin, absolutely.

Relative. Yeah.

Was that yodeling I just heard, or did you just say what I thought you said?

Yes, yes.

He's telling me to use a fucking rat hole.

But a U.S. rat hole would never get into Switzerland with all that money.

What I needed was a rat hole with a European passport.

Jordan.

Hey.

How's my favorite aunt? Welcome.

Was the traffic terrible?

Oh, no, not at all.

Thank God Aunt Emma didn't need too much convincing.

Turned out the British weren't too different from the Swiss.

Money talks and bullshit takes the bus.

How do you say rat hole in British?

If you get into any trouble whatsoever, I'll come forth immediately. I'll say

that I duped you. That I promised.

Risk is what keeps us young, isn't it, darling?

Sometimes I wonder...

If you let money get the best of you, my love.

Among other substances.

Oh.

It's that obvious, huh?

It's chilly, darling. You're sweating bullets.

What can I say? I'm... I'm a drug addict.

I really am. I mean, cocaine, pills, whatever it is, I'll fucking do it.

That's the truth.

I mean, I'm a sex addict too.

Well, there are worse things to be addicted to than sex.

Jesus, why am I telling you all this?

I'm sorry.

Because I'm very easy to talk to.

You are. You are easy to talk to.

I suppose it's just my job, you know.

All these people dependent on me. Tens of millions of dollars at stake.

Sometimes I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew.

You're a man with large appetites.

Yeah.

Is she fucking hitting on me?

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

I suppose I put that on myself, though, right?

My decision.

It's just hard to...

Hard to learn to control the anxiety sometimes, you know?

You know, to learn to relax and let go and... To release the tension?

She is hitting on me.

Holy shit.

Yeah, to release the tension.

I suppose we all just need to learn now.

Learn to do what comes naturally in life, you know?

Is he fucking hitting on me?

Stability, dear family.

You take care of my niece, my love.

I'll take care of everything over here.

Hold on. Here you go.

We had literally a fuckload of money.

And Emma could never carry all this by herself.

So I thought to myself, who else has a European passport?

Now Brad, as a successful drug dealer, spent his winters in the south of

France, which is where he met his wife Chantal, a stripper of Slovenian origin,

born in, of all places,

Switzerland.

Well, this is fucked.

Oh, no shit.

Like, this will take, like, 50 trips.

Let me ask you something. What about her family,

right? I mean, they all got Swiss passports, right?

I mean, she's got parents, she's got a brother.

Right? Brother's got a wife. That's five fucking people. Six, seven trips, boom.

Right? They're all fucking switching it where it's like, oh, they'll do it. You

can do that. At least I have a family of crooked-nosed fuck.

Hey, hey, uh, uh, don't forget about my money.

I'm sorry, what's that? Hey, I forgot to tell you, he's got some, he's got some

money. My money.

You got a couple mil coming in like a week. Yeah. And when it gets in, I'll

give you a call, you come pick it up.

You give me a call.

When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up.

Well, we don't fucking work for you, man.

Sweetheart, you have my money taped to your tits.

Okay, technically you do work for me.

Yeah, John, we're gonna need to talk. If I fucking do this, I'm telling you right

now, I ain't going to him.

Okay, I'm not a fucking schwarzer. I don't do fucking pickups, all right?

Well, listen to me. We meet someplace that I fucking say, and you tell that

fucking piece of shit, he comes correct.

He comes in all fucking loopy and fucked up. I swear to God, I'm gonna mash that

douchebag's teeth.

Who's fucking cheating?

Who's fucking cheating? I put the money on that fucking table. Not you. I'm the

reason we have this whole fucking deal. A gun, you fucking idiot. Fuck his gun.

I keep that money here. You know what? You're a fucking pill dealer. I got

five. more just like you bro keep talking piece of shit you know what else

you dress like shit so fuck you mother oh gee how about that faggot who's a

faggot you okay hey pal the next day Aunt Emma

flew to Geneva two million in cash in her carry-on which in the big picture

was a drop in the Swiss bucket

Because the following month, over the course of six round trips, Chantal's

family and friends smuggled in over 20 million in cash without even a hiccup.

And I have some more. Thank you.

Welcome.

Yeah, like four bags of it.

Are you Swiss Slovakian or Slovenian? Slovenian. Slovenian.

Okay put

the

fucking car

I can't close the briefcase.

One fucking day, one fucking day you couldn't keep it together.

I'm fucked up, Ryan.

You gotta be fucking kidding me. Fucked up.

It's a joke. It's a joke. I'm sober.

Jesus fucking Christ.

It's a fucking joke.

Are you fucking stupid?

I'm not stupid.

I'm fucking driving you like a fucking maniac. You know the attention that that

fucking draws. You know what? I'm not stupid.

I'm smart. I make million-dollar deals with smart, important people, unlike

you, people who don't sucker-punch people when they're scared, okay?

And by the way, I haven't gotten an apology yet for that.

I check my fucking messages every day when I come home from work. My answering

machine, zero. I got a blinking light because I don't have shit from you.

I got my wife checking the messages every 45 minutes, calling the office,

saying, has Brad apologized yet? Is there an apology message on the machine?

I don't have jack shit. You know what? That's not how you treat people. You got

a big fucking mouth. You know what? I'm going to give you a fucking pass. Just

give me the case.

You're going to give me a pass?

Look, it's a figure of fucking speech. Oh, my gosh. The emperor of Foxville

came down from Foxville to give me a pass.

Hey, what are the citizens of Foxville doing today when the emperor's gone?

Is it mayhem?

Are people looting and raping? What are all the little fuckheads doing while

you're here?

Hey, you back the fuck up. I'll fucking see that I've ever caused in my life if

you come at me again.

Just fuck you know what I got I don't want to be out of line anything, but I

think you like like me like you Like when you come at me, what's the matter

with you? I just noticed you have like a fucking like like a twinkle you have

like a twinkle. Do you try and kiss me bro?

I have like oh, I don't know. I just it's not a homophobic thing.

You're just not the one for me You know what I mean? It's not it's not about

that for me. You know, please

Benny, give me the fucking case, okay? I'm gonna give you the case. Give me the

case. You gotta do me one favor. What's that? You gotta take this case.

You gotta drive straight home. I need you to open up the briefcase. I need you

to take out every single dollar. Don't leave one dollar inside the briefcase.

And once you have it all neatly organized outside the briefcase, I need

you to take it, and I need you to shove it right up your wife's Latvian cunt.

You understand?

My fucking wife? Just fucking chill.

Motherfucking piece of shit. How about now? Okay, okay.

Motherfucker.

Jordan, do I have a surprise for you.

What's that?

20 real lemons.

Retired pharmacist client of mine, they've been in the safe for 15 years.

You're fucking kidding me?

Lemons?

They're gonna knock us out of fucking hands.

When it comes to Quaaludes, the Lemon 714 was the holy grail. Can you believe

it? I thought they were like a myth. Three times as powerful as anything

available today. Look at these babies.

Boy, Donnie really knew how to celebrate.

He said he was saving these for a special occasion, like a birthday, or

being clap-free, or our money arriving safely in Switzerland.

So that night, I cleared my schedule, and I rid my body of anything that could

fuck with my high.

It was celebration time.

Okay.

Start off with one, see how it goes.

My guy says all we need is one.

Salud. Cheers.

Feel anything?

No.

It's been 35 minutes.

Maybe we built up a tolerance after all these years, huh?

This is bullshit.

My metabolism's pumping. I can't feel shit.

They're old.

Think they lost their potency? Huh?

Check them out.

January 81.

They're fucking duds. Fuck.

Let's take, uh... Let's take two more each. Yeah.

Jordan!

Yeah, babe?

What are you two retards doing?

We're working out, honey.

Well, Bo Dito's on the phone.

Okay. Okay?

Okay.

Hey, Bo, what's going on? Jordan, listen to me clearly.

I cannot talk to you on this phone. I have to talk to you. Get out of here.

What's going on?

Listen to me. Leave the fucking house, Jordan. And then call me from a pay

phone. This is not a fucking joke, Jordan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shit. What do you say? I don't know what the fuck's going on. I gotta go. Is

everything okay, Jordan?

The closest payphone I could get to was at the Brookville Country Club.

It was a real wasp stronghold, just a mile down the road from my house.

Hey, Bo, what's up? It's me. What's going on? I'm at a payphone. What's

going on? Listen to me carefully, please.

Your little friend there, Brad, your little buddy, he's in jail.

What the fuck is he in jail for? What'd he do?

My friends in Long Island told me he got picked up in some fucking shopping mall.

He got locked up. Wait, wait. Did you say a shopping mall? Yeah. He was with

Donnie. He was supposed to deliver some money to that fucking fat piece of shit.

I'm gonna go fucking talk to him right now. Listen to me. Don't go. Listen to

me. That guy Denim, that FBI agent guy, somebody told me he's got your phones

tapped, your office and your home.

I didn't try to bribe this fucking FBI agent, did you? No, I didn't try to

bribe an FBI agent. You think I'm that fucking stupid? No. What the fuck are

you saying? I can't understand.

Say that again.

I said... What the fuck are you saying?

I said... Are you fucking high?

After 15 years in storage, the Lemons had developed a delayed fuse.

It took 90 minutes for these little fuckers to kick in, but once they did,

pow.

I mean, I had skipped the tingle phase and went straight to the drool phase.

These little bastards were so strong, I discovered a whole new phase, the

cerebral palsy phase.

Come on, stand up.

Okay, walking's out.

All right, think.

Think, what else is there?

Yes, I can crawl. I can crawl like Skylar.

The kid makes it look so goddamn easy.

Think, you motherfucker, think.

Yes.

I got it.

I've got it.

I can roll.

I can roll.

Huh.

I was less than a mile from home. I drove as slow as I fucking could.

I'd seen Jello move faster. I ain't gonna give you two million.

That's gonna be late.

You ate two million?

Later. Get off the phone. Get off the fucking phone, idiot.

Hello? It's late.

I ain't ate. It's late. You ate two million? No, you don't ate two million,

Donnie.

By some miracle, I made it home alive.

Not a scratch on me or the car.

Jesus fucking Christ.

What's wrong with you?

It's fucking good, right?

Fucked up.

We need to ask you some questions.

You fucking kidding me? Fuck you.

Come on, get up.

Get the fuck out of my house.

Let's go. I've been here all night. I've been sitting here all night. What the

fuck are you talking about?

Where are you taking him? Where are you taking him? You ain't got no warrant.

Just come up in people's house like that.

Did you drive your car tonight, Mr. Balfour?

Well...

Maybe I hadn't made it home okay.

Did you

drive?

That car.

Tonight.

Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Family man. Family man. Honey!

It was a miracle I wasn't killed. Well, you know that I didn't kill anybody

else. The cops took me in for questioning, but they couldn't charge

me. They had no proof I was even behind the wheel.

Meanwhile, Brad did three months in jail for contempt because he wouldn't rat

Donnie out.

The result? I was scot-free.

But I had eyes on me like never before.

You're a lucky man, Jordan.

You're lucky to be alive, let alone not in jail.

I don't believe in luck, right? But it's time.

Please, let me call the SEC and cut a deal before your luck runs out.

Wave to Daddy.

Hey. Hey, sweetie.

What kind of terms would you be talking about if I,

uh...

I don't know, you know, you plead guilty to a handful of securities violations,

stock manipulation, high-pressure sales tactics, ticky-tack shit like that, you

know?

Pay a couple million dollars in fines and exchange the SEC fucks off till the

end of time.

Stratton? What happened to Stratton?

I mean, there's no way, I mean, you gotta walk away, right?

Let Donnie be in charge.

Right, Donnie.

Now, the FBI is another animal completely.

They'll still be pursuing you for criminal wrongdoing. However, with you

stepping down voluntarily, my guess is that your best friend, Agent Denham,

will be standing around with his dick in his hand.

Jordan.

What do you have to think about? You beat them.

You won.

God knows you never have to work again.

What are you going to do, spend the rest of your life in jail? Is that what you

want? No.

Okay. Okay.

You got all the money in the world. You need everybody else's money?

Of course not.

Well... You know, I built it. I know you built it. You built it, so now preserve

it.

You know, five years ago, when I started Stratton Oakmont with Donny Azoff, I

knew the day would eventually come where I'd have to be moving on.

And it's truly with a heavy heart that I'm here to say that... that

that day is finally here.

I want to thank you all for your years of loyalty and admiration,

The point is this, under Donny's leadership, along with Nikki Koskoff and

Robbie Feinberg, moving into key management positions, this place really

is, it's gonna be better than ever. That I promise you, okay?

This is Ellis Island, gym people.

I don't care who you are, where you're from, whether your relatives came over

on a fucking Mayflower or an inner tube from Haiti.

This right here is the land of opportunity.

Stratton-Oakmont is America.

All of you know Kimmy Beltzer, right? Yes, we do.

Fuck you.

Come on, Kimmy. What you probably didn't know is Kimmy was one of the first

brokers here, one of Stratton's original 20.

Now, most of you met Kimmy, the beautiful, sophisticated woman that she

is today, a woman that wears...

$3,000 Armani suits.

Drives a brand new Mercedes Benz.

A woman who spends her winters in the Bahamas and her summers in the Hamptons.

That's not the Kimmy that I met.

The Kimmy that I met didn't have two nickels to rub together.

She was a single mom on the balls of her ass with an eight-year-old son.

Okay? She was three months behind on her rent.

And when she came to me and asked me for a job, she asked for a $5,000 advance

just so she could pay his son's tuition.

What'd I do, Kimmy?

Go on, tell me.

You wrote me a check.

For $25,000.

That's right.

And you know why that is?

It's because I believed in you.

It's because I believed in you, Kimmy.

Just like I believe in you. and every one of you here today. I fucking love

you, Jordan. I fucking love you. I fucking love you. I love you. I fucking

love you too.

I fucking love you too.

And I love all of you.

I love all of you from the bottom of my heart.

I mean it.

you know, because... For years, I've been telling you guys never to take no

for an answer, right? You know, to keep pushing, to never hang up the phone

until you get what you want.

Because you all deserve it.

You know, this fucking deal that I'm about to sign, borrowing me from the

securities industry, borrowing me from Stratton, my home.

It's me taking no for an answer, you know?

It's them selling me, not the other way around. It's me being a hypocrite is

what it is.

So... You

know what?

I'm not leaving.

I'm not fucking leaving.

The show goes on.

This is my home.

They're gonna need a fucking wrecking ball to take me out of here.

They're gonna need to send in the national guard.

Fucking swat team

It was our time to party big.

And Justice Brad was released from jail, too.

I apologized, even offered to pay him for his time in the can.

But he said no, that he was out.

He didn't want any part of us.

Sad thing was, two years later, he was dead.

Massive heart attack, 35.

Same age Mozart died.

Not that they have a hell of a lot in common, but...

Anyway, I don't know why that came to mind.

Within days, subpoenas started flying.

Notices to produce documents, depositions, you name it. Donnie

couldn't drink water fast enough.

The United States government wants to get me a subpoena? Here's what we do

with subpoenas at Stratton Oakmont.

Belfort. Olden.

That's a nice name. Thank you very much for that. What kind of name is that?

That is my name. I do not recall that.

I do not recall that, okay? Mr. Min, thank you for coming in today. Are you

going to finish the rest of that Danish?

Can I have that Danish? They interrogated everybody.

I had a low blood sugar. It went on for months. It was a total fucking

harassment.

But not a single Stratonite cracked.

Gladys Carrera?

Doesn't ring a bell. Sorry, I have no recommendation of that. No.

No.

No idea. I don't recall that transaction.

You guys have any milk?

Absolutely not.

Francis Ortiz, you called so many times, I just thought you might remember that.

Would you remember any of those? I do not recall any of that. This Abdul

Hakiki? No, I don't recall.

It was a long phone call. I just wondered if you have any memory of that.

Okay. You know, we've talked to several of the employees at this firm, and

nobody can recall anything about the Steve Madden IPO.

It's... I think it's odd.

Do you recall Carter's Corporation?

You do recall it? No, I don't recall that at all.

Excuse me, I have to ask, is that your real hair?

Are you going to say anything about that?

Are you going to comment on my hair? Is this personal questions?

I was wondering why you would wear something like that.

Can I get you anything else, gentlemen? Yes.

Sweetheart, I have a rare condition which requires me to drink one of those

every 15 minutes, please.

We were specifically advised not to leave the country, so we took our wives

to Italy.

We figured we were safer working from overseas, giving orders to Rugrat.

Nobody could arrest us, and nobody could prove I was still running Stratton from

a yacht.

Hey, Rugrat.

Bonjour, you bald-headed eagle. How you doing?

Donnie, Donnie, listen.

We have a problem, okay? Your friend... Steve Madden is unloading shares.

What are you saying? Who told you that? What's going on? He's doing it, Donnie.

He's saying Steve Madden's unloading shares.

Who told you that? It's bullshit.

Don't just... What's going on?

Jordan, Jordan, look.

I'm watching the screen, and huge chunks of Steve Madden are being sold, okay?

It's not coming from us, so it's got to be Steve. He's the only person with that

many shares. Donnie, call me back, all right? Donnie, your little friend is

trying to fuck me. You know that? Your little friend is trying to fuck me right

in the ass. Get him on the... We don't know anything yet unless I jump to

conclusions. Even though I own 85% of Steve cocksucking motherfucking Madden

shoes, the shares win his fucking name.

This motherfucker knew I was in trouble with the feds and he was trying to take

advantage. Talk to me, man. How do you want to play this?

I want you to get all our clients on the phone right now and have them start

selling Steve Madden. We're going to drive that fucking price down. You hear

me? Shut the fuck up. This is your fucking friend from high school. That

little fucking prick thinks he's going to fuck with me. He's going to turn his

entire company into a penny stock. You hear me?

You got it? Yes, I got it. All right, let's just not jump to a conclusion

before we know what's going on. Shut the fuck up!

What happened?

Sweetheart, what's going on?

And Emma?

Just wait.

I can't.

What's going on?

Why are you crying?

She's dead.

Who's dead? I just got a call from my cousin Betty.

Yeah? And Emma is dead.

Are you fucking kidding me?

No. You serious?

Oh, my God.

Oh, sweetheart, that's just fucking... Fucking heart attack.

Boom, snap, gone.

Shuffled off her mortal coil and $20 million stuck in a Swiss bank account.

She was fine.

Oh, God, baby. Oh, God, that's so fucking terrible.

Oh, fuck. It is terrible. Your aunt was such an elegant, attractive woman.

My condolences to you. Yes, yes. We're absolutely devastated. Thank you. Thank

you so much for your condolences. Now, where does that leave us in regard to

her account exactly? Does it go into probate or what? Not to worry, Jordan.

Not to worry.

Your aunt, before she died, signed a document naming you as her successor.

She did?

Oh, fantastic.

Well, that's good news.

Well, not as of yet.

What does that mean, not as of yet? I can't seem to hear you. I must have bad

reception. Are you speaking English? Now. Now.

Fast. Very fast.

I have to get to Switzerland now.

Speak English.

Fucking speak English.

Hey, hey, hey, quiet, okay?

Take your suit, take your dick, okay? And move your ass, please.

Okay. Move my ass.

I gotta say, these Swiss were some sneaky motherfuckers. Within minutes, he

had me set up with a forger who could fake Aunt Emma's signature.

You're American shit.

I just had to get there by tomorrow.

We'll lose $20 million.

We're going to Monaco!

Monaco? Now?

Yes, babe, we're going to Monaco, so then we can go to Switzerland, okay?

But her aunt just died. I realize that, but I have business in Switzerland. I

need to go to Switzerland right now. Bottom line.

Sorry, be business-y.

We gotta get to London.

Why? Why?

The funeral!

Yeah, babe, babe, look, look.

I love your aunt more than anyone in the entire world. I really did.

She's dead now, sweetie.

She's dead and she's not going anywhere.

She'll still be dead by the time we get to London, okay?

Captain Ted, Captain Ted, all right, look, we're going to Monaco. Monaco now,

okay? Monaco, right. We're going to Monaco, so then we can drive to

Switzerland so they don't stamp our passports, take care of business here.

We'll drive back to Monaco, take a flight over to London to catch the

funeral, be in New York in three fucking business days. That's the fucking plan.

I just want to let you know, Ted, we might run into some chop.

Chop? We could fucking handle chop, right? I mean, it's a 170-foot yacht.

No, no, no, we're not going anywhere unless he says it's safe, all right?

Don't worry about the chop. You don't know shit about chop. Oh, really? And

you do? You're a fucking expert on this. I'll chop your fucking... Quite a cut in

half. How about that?

Chop is fine. Trust me. Chop is fine. Is chop fine, Captain Ted?

Yeah, I mean, if we take it slow. Yeah, we're going to take it slow. It's a

little uncomfortable.

Tell them it's safe. It's going to be safe because we'll batten down the

hatches and secure the deck and we're looking at a few...

Maybe a few broken dishes.

A few broken dishes?

What's a few broken dishes? Does that sound fucking awesome or what? No, not

really. We're gonna have a fucking good time. Let's go to fucking Monaco now,

huh? Let's fucking move. Let's go.

Shit!

Oh, Jesus Christ, honey, you okay?

Yeah, I love you.

I love you.

The way! A 20 feet high building!

Don't know why I was going the other fucking way!

We can't!

We'll get broadsided and tip over!

I am a master diver, you hear that? I'm a master diver. No one's gonna fucking

die. I got you, baby.

I got you. Trust me, okay?

I love you.

I love you, baby. Just hold on tight.

Honey.

Hold on, baby.

Honey.

Hold on, baby.

I don't want to die, Jordan.

I did a lot of bad shit. I'm going to hell, Jordan.

Fucked up.

I fucked up so bad.

Get the loons downstairs.

What are you saying?

Fuck.

Get the loons. I can't go down there. It's flooded. It's three feet of water

down there. I will not die sober.

Get those fucking loons.

Okay.

Jesus Christ.

Get away from the window.

Nice thing about getting rescued by Italians that they feed you make you

drink red wine

Then you get to dance

Did

you see that that was the plane

I sent to come get us I Shit you not it exploded when a seagull flew into the

engine Three people killed.

You want a sign from God?

After all this, I finally got the message.

Do you dream of becoming financially independent, but struggle every month

just to pay your bills? Would you like to own a home like this one, but can

barely afford to pay your rent?

My name is Jordan Belfort.

And there's no secret to wealth creation.

No matter who you are, no matter where you came from, you too can become

financially independent in just a matter of months.

All you need is a strategy. When I was 24 years old, I made a decision not just

to survive, but to thrive.

At first, I didn't feel like deals like these were possible. But we have the

house, and we have a $33,000 profit.

I certainly believe now.

Think about it for a second.

If you don't have the guts to attend Jordan Belfort's straight-line

persuasion system seminar, then how do you expect to make any money? If you

want to be a millionaire someday, have some guts. Make a decision.

Jordan Belfort said it worked for me because I worked hard for it. And if it

doesn't work for you, it's because you're lazy and you should get a job at

McDonald's. There's nobody holding you back from financial freedom, and there's

nobody stopping you from making millions.

Don't just sit at home, or the life of your dreams will sail right past you.

I changed all these people's lives, and I can change yours, too. So come to my

seminar. The life of your dreams is only... Good to see you again, Jordan.

You're under arrest.

You've got to be joking.

Are you kidding me?

Hey! Hey, get the fuck away from me. Turn that camera off. I'm fucking

shooting a fucking infomercial here, you fucking cocksucker.

Fuck you, you motherfucker.

You all got shit on me, you hear me?

Go fuck yourself. I'm making an honest living, you fucking piece of shit.

Hey, George, let me give you a little legal advice.

Shut the fuck up. Fuck you, you fucking prick. I'm making an honest living, you

motherfucker.

I clean up my act. I did rehab.

I'm a TV personality.

I'm sober for two years, and this happens.

Rugrat goes and gets busted down in Miami. I'm Swiss. I'm not communist. And

guess who the fuck with?

Sorrel. You're gonna beat me? Yeah, I know your country. You're gonna beat me?

Yeah. I mean, what are the fucking odds?

There had to be 10,000 Swiss bankers in Geneva, and Rugrat gets the one dumb

enough to get himself arrested on U.S. soil?

I know. I'm so sorry.

Even more fucked was that he got busted for shit that had nothing to do with me.

It had nothing to fucking do with me. Something about laundering drug money

through offshore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki. You know, the founder

of Benihana?

Benihana? Benny fucking Hana?

Benny fucking Hana?

Why? Why, why, God?

Why would you be so cruel as to choose a chain of fucking hibachi restaurants to

take me down?

Long story short, Sorel rats me out, but not before he rats out Brad's wife,

Chantal, who, it turns out, he'd been fucking every time she went to

Switzerland.

One count

engaging in conspiracy to commit securities fraud.

Two count securities fraud.

One count engaging in conspiracy to commit money laundering.

21 counts money laundering.

One count obstruction of justice.

Bail is set at $10 million.

I hate that fucking dog.

Yeah. He's getting old and decrepit, starting to shit in the house again. Me

too. Come here, buddy. Ah, fuck.

Good to see you, pal. Hey, Joe. Good to see you.

Sit down.

Oh, man.

How you doing, brother?

You know, shitty, pal.

But I'm hanging in there.

Piece of jewelry. Check that out.

Can't leave the house.

You know?

Starting to get cabin fever already.

Fucking rug rat.

That wig-wearing faggot, I can't believe that fucking guy. I want to kill him.

Swear to God, I want to choke him to death.

Irresponsible little prick.

I'll tell you one thing.

I'm never eating up any honey again.

I don't care whose birthday it is.

Where's Naomi?

How's she doing?

She's right in the house there.

I could say hi. She probably won't wave back.

Now help me, sweetheart.

Yeah, babe.

What's up, her ass? What, she mad at me? No, you know, probably have to mortgage

the house in order to make bail.

Probably end up selling the things in order to pay for all the lawyers. It's

been a nightmare, buddy, to tell you the truth.

What are you gonna do, right?

Anyway, how's Stratton? What's more important?

How's morale?

You all pissed off because they have to make money legally now?

I got the founding partners together.

I talked to them about everything, and... I got you.

What do you mean, you got me?

The house, money, don't worry about it. I got you.

I love you, buddy. You know I'd do it for you, right?

You know that, right?

I could kiss you all night. All right, enough, enough.

You want a beer, pal?

What are you drinking?

I got this non-alcoholic shit.

What's that?

It's like a non-alcoholic beer. It's got no alcohol.

It's a beer?

Yeah, with no alcohol.

But you drink enough, and if you drink a lot, they get you fucked up?

No, there's no alcohol. That's the fucking point.

I'm not a scientist. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I can get

you a beer if you want a fucking beer. I know, but I don't drink, you remember?

I don't drink anymore.

Oh, you want to go inside and blow some lines of bacon powder? Bacon soda?

Can't imagine ever not enjoying getting fucked up. Yeah. I love it.

How's being sober?

Fucking sucks.

Boring, right? So boring. I want to kill myself.

There's a term, and we don't like to use it unless circumstances dictate, and I

think they do dictate in this case, and the term is Grenada. Have you ever heard

of Grenada?

Grenada is very interesting because it is a small island nation that was

invaded by the United States of America in 1983.

It's about 90,000 people.

And essentially it means is this case is unlosable.

Okay? So, you know, we can come in, we can have our dick hanging out of our

pants. Nobody gives a fuck. I'm going to win.

You, sir, are what's known as a Grenada.

You're looking at real prison time.

Money laundering can get you as much as 20 years.

And our case couldn't be stronger if we caught you shoving cash in your

mattress. Hey,

Jordan.

Jordan.

You're rotting away in jail till your kids get out of college.

That's not our ambition here.

There's other people involved in this, too.

We think they need to see their day in court as well.

Why do I sense there's an offer in the air?

Look at him. He's got a sense.

What are you, Kreskin?

Full cooperation. He provides us with a comprehensive list of all the co

-conspirators spanning the last seven years, and he also agrees to wear a

wire.

Did you just say wear a wire?

A wire.

What does that mean? You want me to rat? Is that it? No, I want you to cooperate.

No, you want me to rat. Yes, we want you to rat. That's fucking exactly what we

want you to do. To rat.

How was Chrissy's party?

Fine. Good.

Babe, I spoke to the lawyers again today.

They have some really, really great news.

Mm-hmm.

Turns out you're completely off the hook, honey.

I know that already.

Right. Exactly, exactly. You never did anything wrong in the first place,

right?

It turns out all the FBI really wants from me is to, uh...

To cooperate, you know?

Turns out I have so much information about the stock market and Wall Street,

I could save the government years of heartache, not to mention countless

dollars. Mm-hmm.

But it gets even better, babe.

Because if I do decide to cooperate, I might only be looking at four short

years. In which case, you know, we could start fresh, maybe sell the house.

and any fines that i'd have to pay wouldn't be due till after i served my

term so we'd still have plenty of money left over you know the only thing that

of course bummed me out a little bit is this whole idea of having to give

information about my friends well like you said there's no friends on wall

street right right right exactly there's a silver lining to that too honey

because they said eventually

Eventually, everyone's gonna have to give information on this case, so at the

end of the day, it might not even be a factor, you know? Well, that's good

news, right?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm really happy for you.

What do you mean, happy for me?

She'd be happy for the both of us, right? Yeah, right.

Right.

Come here, baby.

Give me a kiss, sweetheart.

Sorry.

Oh, come on, baby. I haven't made love to you in so long. No. Please.

Jordan, stop it. Come on, honey. Please. No. Jordan, stop it.

I fucking

hate you, Jordan.

Get off me.

Oh, baby.

You want to fuck me?

Yeah. Good.

Go ahead.

Go ahead and fuck me.

I want you to fuck me real hard.

I want you to fuck me like it's the last fucking time. Why are you looking at me

like that? Because I want you to come for me, baby.

Come on, baby.

Come for me, baby.

I want you to come for me like it's the last fucking time. Yeah.

Come on, baby.

Come for me, baby.

Come on, baby.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, baby, come. I'm gonna come for you. Yeah.

I'm gonna come for you. Yeah. Huh?

I'm gonna come for you. Come.

Oh,

God, baby, yeah.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Jesus.

Oh,

baby. That was so...

Fucking great.

Oh, God.

Yeah. That was the last time.

What do you mean, maybe?

I mean, that was the last time we ever had sex.

What are you talking about?

I want a divorce.

What do you mean you want a divorce? What is that supposed to mean, you want

a divorce?

Get off of me. I want a divorce.

Get off me. You just made love to me. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't

love you anymore, Jordan.

You don't love me?

You don't love me anymore, huh? Well, isn't that just fucking convenient for

you? Now that I'm under federal indictment with an electronic bracelet

around my ankle, now you decide you don't fucking love me anymore. Is that

right? No.

What kind of person are you?

Tell me. You married me.

The fuck does that supposed to mean? This is how it's going to go.

I'm going to take custody of the kids.

If you agree to the divorce right now, I will allow visitation, okay?

Don't try to fight it.

It'll save us both a lot of money, and I got a feeling you're gonna need it.

You're not taking my kids, sweetheart, you hear me?

I've already talked to the lawyer. He said even if you don't get convicted,

I've got a good chance of getting them. I got news for you. You're not fucking

taking my children, you vicious fucking cunt.

Fuck you, you fucking bitch!

You're not fucking taking my goddamn fucking kids, you hear me?

Fuck you! And I'm fucking taking my fucking kids!

Fucking bitch!

Fucking whore.

Fucking whore.

Fucking bitch. Bitch is shit.

Look at yourself, Jordan.

Sick.

You're a sick man. Fuck you. I told you you're not taking my fucking kids. You

think I would let my kids near you?

Look at yourself.

You know what my lawyer said?

My lawyer said that you're going to prison for 20 years, Jordan.

20 fucking years. You're never going to see the kids again.

You don't think I'm going to see my fucking kids? No, I'm not fucking

letting you near my kids. You don't think I'm going to see my fucking kids

again, huh? Don't you fucking talk.

Daddy we go a little trip together. Okay, we'll trip together

I told you I'm taking her with me, you fucking bitch!

You're not going to stop me!

You're not going to stop me!

Please.

Let me just sign the fucking thing already.

Thank you.

Just you.

That'll be good.

Thank you.

It wasn't even a choice.

For the next six hours, I came up with a list.

Friends, enemies, business associates, anybody who'd ever known me or taken so

much as a stock tip.

The first name on the list was Donnie.

George, do you know how good it is to have you back in this office?

It's not the same when you're gone.

It's sad, you understand?

It's like fucking Steve Madden, huh? I can't.

I swear to God, I can't even think about it, you know? Every time I think about

him, my blood boils. I can't even say his name.

I know. You know, it's like disgusting. I grew up with this guy. He betrays me

like that?

Ugh. Do you have a...

Ever get back to you about that, um, about that, uh, that account?

You know, you remember it was like four or five mil, something like that, right?

You were supposed to kick back four or five mil, was it?

You know, I was... I was fucked up, Jordan. You know, so I don't remember.

Yeah, right.

Stupid.

Well, you know, if he calls you, you make sure and contact me, okay?

Yeah, of course.

Yeah. Of course. Yeah, no, of course.

You need that last piece of yellowtail, bud?

That's all yours.

Did I get this?

So what else is, uh... How's Naomi and everything?

You know how it is. She hates my fucking guts.

How's Hilly? Good?

She's still alive, so my life is fucked, you know.

Yeah.

Mr. Jordan.

What?

Mr. Jordan, you got a visitor.

What?

You got a visitor.

I need you to get dressed.

What the fuck's going on?

You're going to jail.

All right.

I'll get some clothes on. We'll give you a hand with that.

FBI!

Boy, sit down, put your hands back to be seen and shut up!

Get your fucking hands off me! Get the fucking shit down!

Get

the

fucking shit down!

I gave up everyone.

And in return, I got three years in some hellhole in Nevada I'd never even heard

of.

Like my pops Mad Max had said, the chickens had come home to roost.

What the fuck that means.

Mr. Belford has distinguished himself in terms of his cooperation.

Mr. Belford has helped the government win convictions of over two dozen

serious offenders and helped them recover millions of dollars to be made

available for restitution to their victims.

The sentence of the court shall be 36 months in federal prison.

Please remand the defendant.

Laugh about it, shout about it, when you got to choose.

Every way you look at it, you lose.

Well, have you gone?

Show the magic of our nation, son, slowly I ask you.

Woo, woo, woo.

What's that you're saying, Mrs.

Robertson? Joe, Joe has left and gone away.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

I'm not ashamed to admit it.

When we arrived to prison, I was absolutely terrified.

Go for it on your feet.

But I needn't have been.

See, for a brief fleeting moment, I'd forgotten I was rich.

And I lived in a place where everything was for sale.

Wouldn't you like to learn how to sell it?

gangsters i'm telling you some real bad but this guy my good friend mr jordan

belfort is the single baddest i have ever met so i want you right now

to give a warm auckland new zealand welcome for my good friend and the

world's greatest sales trainer mr jordan belfort

Sell me this pen It's

it's a amazing pen for professionals to

Sell me this pen

It's a nice pen you can you can use the pen to write down thoughts from your

life so you can remember Sell me this pen

Well, this pen works and I personally love this pen.

Thank you.

Okay.

So, so the parade comes to town.

It's going down Broadway, right?

It's a one-way street.

That's whichever way I go.

That's the way we roll.

That's all we know.

Uh-huh. Yeah, I got the beat.

So let's bring the heat.

That's it

That's

what I'm talking about

what are we gonna do all day

not

a privilege it's a necessity

No, no, not because you want to.

Because you need to.

Have a bump of this.

Voila. There you go.