Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.BZ

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Naïm, you sack of shit!

-Yeah? -The parasols are two at a time.

I know, Pascal, but I'm in a rush tonight.

You're in a rush? Lucky you don't have much left to do.

When you're done out here, clean everything inside.

A quick mop.

You like that.

Then go scrub the bathroom.

By the way, don't worry about the dead rat.

-I sorted it out. -What?

What rat, you pussy?

The one we found in the salad.

-What salad? -You know!

This morning, you strangled it and threw it at me.

I put it in a box, and I'm gonna bury it in the forest.

In the forest?

Dig another hole and bury your grandma with it.

Okay, sure!

Pascal, which salad was it in? I had a Niçoise for lunch.

Don't listen to him. He's a migrant. I pay him two euros an hour.

Whoa! Stay there. I'll help you.

Thanks, man.

-Are you moving in here? -Yeah.

-Welcome! -Fuck. Thank you.

-The atmosphere here is great. -Really?

On Wednesdays, we have a barbecue. Sundays, it's games.

-Awesome. -Are you good at Operation?

-It's right here, on this floor. -Yeah.

You're my new neighbor?

One sec. I need to handle something awkward.

What are you doing?

Helping. He's moving in next door.

Why would you do that? Isn't it humiliating enough for him?

It's not humiliating. I did it willingly.

But he's not our neighbor.

He's my new boyfriend.

Gaëtan. Nice to meet you.

I…

-We haven't had time to talk. -Well, come in then.

-Should I keep going? -No, go take a bath.

-Of course you should. -I'll keep going.

But Fleur…

What's going on?

-I don't get it. -What don't you get? It's over, Naïm.

What do you mean, over?

We're done. I'm sick of you.

Who is he?

Your stepmom's ex. Be nice to him.

-Your ex's feet stink. -What did I just say?

Hey, are you crazy? Easy.

You don't hit kids.

Gaëtan left your stuff on the sidewalk.

The garbage men are coming, so…

Be quick.

But Fleur…

-My Corkscrew… -Don't call me that anymore.

Please, Naïm. Don't make things harder, okay?

-It's not that. It's… -What then?

It's actually my place.

What do you mean, your place?

I mean, I'm the only one who pays the rent.

You pay, so it's your apartment?

Here, take your shitty dog.

I'm fed up with her too.

She pisses me off too. She shits everywhere.

She leaves turds like this all over the place.

Kylian thought one was chocolate cereal and ate it. Is that normal?

Yeah. You never take her out.

She'll be glad she's going out then.

She can take her kibble and turds and get out of here.

What did Kylian eat?

Cereal. What is it to you anyway?

He's my son.

-Come on, haven't you got stuff to move? -Yeah.

Move it then.

Stop looking at me like that. It's putting me on edge.

It's like I'm the bad guy.

No, I know you're not bad.

All that's just a shell.

A shell?

Are you calling me a turtle?

Right, get out of here.

-Do you still have a lot of boxes left? -A fair few.

Let's do it together. It'll be quicker.

Bro, please move out the way.

-Really? -Yeah.

Your stuff's right there.

Good luck.

Oh yeah.

She likes red currant jelly on toast in the morning.

Got it.

The jar is nearly finished. You should think about buying more.

Hey, Naïm!

Yes?

You forgot the kibble.

Thanks.

Get lost!

Come on, my little baby!

Do you want the ball? Here.

Go get it! Go on.

Cheeky?

Cheeky!

Cheeky!

So the good news is she's woken up.

Here, take her.

Thanks, Dr. Couffard.

I'm so relieved.

Wait. I haven't given you the bad news.

Oh yes, sorry. What's the bad news?

She doesn't have long left.

Long left for what?

To live.

It's her little heart.

It's very tired.

You know, Doctor, I…

This little dog is sort of all I have left.

And if I lose her, I'll…

I'll have no one.

Well, there's a solution.

-What is it? -A heart transplant.

Let's do that then.

It's 50,000 euros.

-How are things financially? -Overdrawn.

Well, I'll let you think about it.

You could buy another one.

It would end up cheaper for you.

Those little mutts are all the same, don't you think?

How much would social security cover for that kind of operation?

Sorry.

Don't worry, Doctor.

-I'll find the money. -50,000?

-Euros, yeah? -Yes.

Not dirhams.

Yeah, I'm a bit racist.

-You okay? -Fucking hobo motherfucker.

He looks like a mechanic.

Come here. What time do you call this? Do you think I'm an idiot?

I've had a hard time, Moundir.

-I go by Pascal here, you son of a bitch. -Yes, sorry, Pascal.

My car broke down,

'cause I can't even fill it up.

Think you could pay me the three months you owe?

Honestly, I can't manage.

My girlfriend dumped me. I spent the night on the street.

So what? Is it my fault you're a bum?

No, it's not your fault.

Go get changed.

-I'm going. -Hold on.

-What's up? -What's that?

I don't want that wet little dog around here.

I swear I'm gonna punch him.

-Sorry, Pascal. -As if it was a man.

-Remember the cats? -You're ruthless.

I stabbed them in the ass with a fork.

Take him away, or I'll fuck him up.

-Sort your armpits out. -Do I smell bad?

Like a criminal. Move it.

It's 'cause I ran here.

I don't wanna hear about your hobo life. Go on.

-I can't afford deodorant. -Use some dish soap.

I wish I was a Chihuahua just to fuck up that dog.

Pascal! Can I at least get the tips tonight?

You'll get my balls!

We get to the bill, and what does that bum say? "Let's split?"

I said, "What? Split? Are you fucking with me? Is that a joke?"

I waxed my pussy, my asshole. I got a pedicure.

-Oh wow. Sorry, excuse me. -What?

-Seen how hot that beach attendant is? -I'll admit he is seriously fine.

Yeah, but he's really dumb. I talked to him. He has two brain cells.

Honestly, I don't mind.

I'd prefer a moron to a moaning jerk.

Are things still bad with Quentin?

Not much is happening.

-Aren't you fucking? -We are. It would be the same either way.

Oh yeah. You said he has a tiny weenie.

Miniscule. But that's not even the issue.

Does that bastard come early too?

-He's clumsy. It's a nightmare. -Oh wow.

When he realized I was faking it, it made him nasty.

-That guy is hell. -That fat pig grosses me out.

Seriously, what kind of place is this?

"Beach Bistro"? What beach?

Do you see a beach? There's no sand.

It's windy. There are kids running around.

It's unbearable.

Fuck, this is hell.

The whole thing is catastrophic. Thanks for the tip, Tania.

No worries.

You don't know shit about Marseille.

I actually know Marseille really well. So shut the fuck up.

Where's the waiter?

I… Yeah.

Hey, bring that parasol over, please.

Sure. Okay.

Oh wow.

He is such a snack.

Should I put it there?

Here?

What are you eating? What do you want to eat?

Is the beach attendant on the menu?

Oh wow, she is so cringe.

God. Sorry about her.

I'm used to it. I get it a lot.

All right, stop showing off.

Have you seen how hot he is? It's normal.

-I admit he is banging. -Tania, please!

I'm gonna lose it. What do you want? We don't have all day.

What's up with you?

Why are you talking to her like that, you weirdo?

-You bum. -Sorry, honey.

-Get off. -Excuse me.

Can I take your order? I'm in a bit of a rush.

-Yeah, of course. -Yeah.

-What should we have? Pea hummus? -Yeah, sure.

-And how about mozzarella sticks? -No.

You have mozzarella sticks every evening.

It's all right.

Go for something else if you have them every evening.

Check out his dorky laugh!

I told you he was dumb.

Excuse me. Do you think you're funny?

No, they laughed, so I thought it was a joke.

Do you think your little stand-up act is funny?

-With your little polo shirt? -No, it's…

-Think you can pick up chicks like this? -No.

Stick with your waiter role, or I'll really lose it.

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…

I'll have the salmon tartare and a banana smoothie.

And not in two hours. I've got things to do. Move your ass.

-Bro, you don't talk to people like that. -Okay, okay.

He didn't get the allusion.

As for our allusions, we have verbena, chamomile, green tea.

We're talking about his dick, not infusions.

His little pee-pee. His little noodle.

A little vermicelli, a little pickle.

Your little cheesy willy.

Fuck, sorry, man. I shouldn't have laughed.

Not cool. I didn't know they were mocking your micropenis.

Are you serious? Huh?

-Sit back down. -Calm down.

-Are you trying to humiliate me? -Stop it.

Are you serious?

-Babe, this is between me and him. -Dude.

You wanna act all macho?

-Yeah, you do. -Not at all.

It's not the size that counts.

Apparently, he can't use it either.

What did you just say?

You can't use it.

I can't use it?

-Oh come on. Stop it. -Wait.

-Wait! -Stop it now!

Get off!

What are you doing? Are you crazy? Get off him!

Sorry, Mr. Novier. Come here.

Have you lost it?

Where's my phone?

Nice one.

-Hello Brawl. How can I help? -Hello?

Hello? I'm calling to beat up a beach attendant, please.

What's your budget, bro?

I don't have one. Send your best fighter. I need to fuck him up.

I'll send you Thanos. One meter 90, 120 kilos. Is that okay?

Perfect. I want him beaten to a pulp. That's all.

He'll liquidize him for you.

There'll be nothing left.

-Don't worry, bro. -Thank you.

Love you.

Fucking hell!

What did I tell you about smacking contests?

Now Georges is out for the day. Well done, guys.

-Great. -Thanos!

-What's up? -Beach Bistro on the ledge.

Pulverize a beach attendant.

Please don't be late. The traffic's crazy.

Move it! What are you looking at?

Move it. Poor guy.

-Kevlar! -Yeah?

Junior high brawl in La Fourragère.

Just so you know, the kid only has 50 euros.

How much do I get in expenses?

15 euros. I said he's got no cash.

Come on. Normally 20 euros is the minimum, bro.

All right, fuck you. I'll cancel.

No, don't cancel. It's all right.

Just how old is the kid?

Cheeky. Here, my little princess.

Don't worry. There's no pork. Oh yeah. You were hungry, huh?

You were hungry, honey.

Hey, here.

You okay, bro?

-Yeah. -Yeah?

-Will you come with me for a minute? -Why?

Let's not leave it like that. It's ridiculous.

-Yes. -Seriously.

I didn't dare talk to you. I didn't want to bother you.

-Are you joking? -I'm glad you came.

It must be hard to have a small penis.

Well, you get used to it.

-It hasn't grown since you were a baby? -No.

-Shall we make up? -No.

Thanos. It's your turn, nigger.

What did you just say?

Huh? Oh, sorry. I don't know what came over me.

-Shut it. -Okay.

Just wait and see what this nigger will do to you.

I did pay though.

-A lot as well. -Thanos, I…

There's no issue. I apologized.

-I'll explain. -Yeah.

I get paid for this.

-Right. -Nothing against you. I don't know you.

Me neither.

-But I'm gonna fuck you up. -Really?

-Just gonna stand there? -Huh?

Baby, he said the N-word.

Guys, stop it!

Thanos! Oh, shoot. He's drooling.

Hey! Call an ambulance!

-Are you okay? -Yes.

-He broke your nose. -Shut it!

No worries.

BRAWLERS

Hey!

Come here.

-Yeah? -Are you Naïm?

What is it now?

I'm Gary.

The boss of Hello Brawl. Are you the one who beat up Thanos?

No, he knocked out my customer, so I punched him.

-But I swear it was a reflex. -Wait, sorry.

You put him in a coma with one wallop?

What? He's in a coma?

-That's horrible. -What are you on about? It's incredible!

-Really? -Yeah.

-Why? -Get in the car and I'll explain.

What hospital is Thanos in?

Leave that old vegetable alone!

Can't you see he's having a big nap?

Cheeky, stop it. Shush! Hey.

Cheeky, what's up with you today?

Sorry. I don't know what's up with her.

Is she always a pain in the ass?

It's weird. She usually only does it to people with rotten souls.

Don't take it badly.

She's out of sorts at the moment. She needs a heart transplant.

-Oh, poor girl. -And I just got sacked, so…

Well, great timing,

because I have the best job in the world to offer you, bro.

-No way. -Yeah.

What a crazy coincidence. What is it?

So what does it entail?

I send you to brawls. You break some jaws.

-Without asking questions. -Oh right.

Well, no. I think you've got the wrong guy.

Hitting people for a living isn't at all my vibe.

I won't be able to do it.

Okay, too bad.

-No hard feelings? -I don't blame you.

I just hope you've got a good lawyer.

You think I can take Pascal to court?

Fucking hell, I don't give a shit about Pascal!

You put my best fighter in a coma.

Do you know how much lost revenue that is?

-It must be loads. -Yeah, loads.

I need to get back on my feet and break even.

-Do you understand? -Of course.

And…

Listen carefully. Here's what we're gonna do.

Go on. Explain.

You'll replace my champion, or I'll force him to take you to court.

And I guarantee you I'll get him Marseille's best lawyers.

You'll be up to your neck in debt,

and your fucking bitch of a dog will have time to die at least 18 times.

-I didn't mean to annoy you. -Too late. Get out.

Get lost! See you in court.

Bye now!

All right, gentlemen.

Hey! Guys.

This is Naïm.

Our new champion.

-Really? -Yeah.

-Are you the one who beat up Thanos? -Yeah, he is.

There wasn't even a fight. Can you believe it?

28 defeats since the start of the month. 28.

-Kevlar is fucking up the stats. -Shut it.

I've been too nice to you guys. And look at the result.

I asked Rafik to gather you here to give you the company's new rules

to follow before each new fight.

Rule number one.

Always strike first. You talk too much, guys.

Strike first.

Chin. Temple.

Not the nose. Sharp pain annoys them even more.

This will KO them.

Rule number two.

We're gonna cut off these slutty ponytails.

This isn't Les Marseillais in Mykonos or whatever.

Rule number three.

What is up with you guys and all this honor and respect?

We don't give a fuck about that!

We're not goddamn samurais.

Go for blind spots.

Hit them sneakily and slyly. In the back. I don't give a fuck. We're doing our job.

If you're seriously on the verge of losing the brawl,

come to the office and get this object.

We call it the Tunisian.

Little blade.

If you're losing, look at the guy opposite you.

"Sorry, excuse me."

Put out your hand. "Sorry, wallah, I'm a pussy, wallah."

Pierce their hand.

However,

I've decided to be a bit stricter with the grading system.

So to mark the occasion,

I'm taking a star off each of you.

Apart from Naïm who's keeping his five stars.

And me, 'cause I don't have any.

-Really? Why? -'Cause I never win, so…

Those who aren't happy, like you, take a look at the door. It's wide open.

Fuck off, go see our competitors,

go see those bums at Speedy KO,

and we'll never talk about it again.

Aren't you going? No one's going?

Right, get training, you bunch of goats.

Come on!

Wait for me here.

-Hey, man. -You okay?

-What's your name? -Kevlar.

Naïm.

-What requests have we got? -Hold the line.

A substitute at a soccer club wants us to bust the starter's knees.

No, give that to Gonflette. I don't give a fuck.

What else have you got?

-Your dog's nice. -Thanks.

-Cheeky. She's sick. -I don't give a fuck.

I was gonna say you're nice, but that wasn't nice.

I still don't give a fuck.

Give me something a bit heroic, a bit vigilante.

I've got this.

It's five minutes away too.

A woman who gets beaten up by her husband, as usual.

There we go. That's heroic.

That's vigilante.

Your eyebrows are huge. It's not a good size.

Trim them a bit.

No, wallah. They're too big.

Naïm!

Can't you see you're the one who creates these situations?

Do you seriously think I enjoy all this?

All that anger's gonna make you sick.

Don't start.

You're wrinkly. You're so bitter you have bags under your eyes.

Shut up! You just got punched. What do you want?

Do you think it's my dream to take coke every day?

-I didn't have any last week. -Sit.

You had some too, didn't you? So stop it!

Stop with the coke, damn it! It's like I never hit you sober.

Who's that?

-Who is it? -I don't know.

Yeah, what's the matter?

Is this Laëtitia's place?

What do you want?

She called Hello Brawl, so…

She's not here. Thanks.

That's weird though.

Why would she give this address?

-It's just me. Bye. -It makes no sense.

Did you call Hello Brawl? Huh?

Want me to smash your face in again?

Get off me!

Stop it!

-You wanna fight again? -You're hurting me. Stop it!

What? Are you scared?

-That hurts. -What do you want?

-Get off me! -This'll teach you to shut your mouth!

You hit women?

No, just mine.

Wait. You don't know the context.

I swear. You don't know how much she busts my balls.

Every day!

And you think that's a reason?

Where are you, you coward?

-I'm gonna tear your useless head off. -Stop it!

Calm down!

Are you okay?

No, JB. Don't do it! Stop!

It's your fault. You stabbed me!

Are you okay?

Huh?

-What did he say? -I couldn't understand.

Don't be scared of me, miss.

I'm a nice guy.

Take off your T-shirt.

I don't do that kind of service though. I'm just here for the brawl.

No, but you're bleeding out. You'll ruin my rug.

Sorry about before. I thought you wanted to make love.

I'll treat you before that.

-Before what? -Sit down.

Thanks.

Do you usually break the door down or do you not like my decor?

No, I actually love it.

-Thanks. -It's beautiful.

-That's nice. -It's very granny chic.

It's comforting.

Are you fucking with me or do you have no sense of humor?

No, sorry. I have no sense of humor.

I never get people's jokes.

I always force myself to laugh.

-So it's not awkward, you know. -What do you do?

I do something like…

Actually…

That was a bit forced. But something like that.

It makes you look really intelligent.

-It's cool. -Thanks.

-That's kind. I don't get that often. -You don't say.

Funny. Your eyes are different colors.

'Cause one of them is fake.

-Really? Which one? -It's… Hold on.

-Here, look closer. -Fuck.

The funny thing is they messed up the pigmentation.

-It's slightly more green. -I saw.

I didn't have much money then. I just said I'd take it.

-Please stop. -Wanna touch it?

-I don't want to. -Go on. It's funny.

-Stop it. -What's up?

She loves playing fetch.

-Oh right. -All right, one ball.

-Go fetch the eye. -Put it back in. It's gross.

-Oh no. -I don't know.

I know, I'm…

I'm a monster.

The kids called me "One-eyed Couscous."

Or "The Swamp Cyclops."

Give me it to me. Then you'll always have your eye on me.

The thing is I would, but I broke my last spare.

So…

Actually, keep it as a souvenir.

I was joking. Don't worry.

-Was that a joke? -Yeah.

Well then.

I won't gross you out any longer. I'll go.

-Are you seriously going? -Cheeky, let's go.

What if he comes back? You fucked my door up.

-I would have put you up, but… -Do you live far?

That's the thing. I…

I don't have a… I'm on the street.

You can sleep here.

Does the sofa fold out?

No, but you can sleep in my bed.

Where would you sleep though?

-Next to you. What's the issue? -There isn't one.

But just so you know, I keep my shoes on.

Really? Why do you do that?

My feet smell of Reblochon.

'Cause of the fungus between my toes.

Then it stews all day in my socks and gives me a fungal infection.

-I'll show you how to do the sofa. -It folds out?

I confused it with another one.

That's great. Is there a tab somewhere?

So the tab is right here.

Seriously, bro? Is that the smell?

Sorry, I didn't think you'd bend down.

-Do you want to cover them? -Do you have a throw?

-I only have my quilt. -No, that'll kill it.

-Trash bags? -Two would be perfect.

I'll get them for you.

-Maybe four to be safe? -All right.

The guy's under the car…

-Hello, everyone. -I pull his legs.

Go on.

Hey.

-Come here. -Hi, Rafik.

We send you five minutes away, and you stroll in the next day?

Sorry, the client was in shock. So I thought it was best to stay with her.

Give me the money.

Yeah, about that, I didn't dare ask her.

I ruined her place, she put me up, and she's got my dog.

-So I said it was free. -Do you think we do charity work?

Do I look like a fucking social worker?

I've never seen social workers with your mug.

But I've seen lots of people like you with social workers.

With that scary terrorist look.

Gary, seriously? Wait. You're not even listening, bro.

He took me by surprise. Don't count it as a defeat.

You know the rules, Thanos.

How's One-Punch Man? Huh?

-You okay, Gary? -My champion.

Oh, Thanos. You okay, dude?

It's nice to see you.

It was a little coma then.

What coma?

It was just a checkup. I got out the same day.

-No hard feelings? -Of course there are.

We can have a rematch right now.

-Are you talking to me or Rafik? -You're acting crazy now?

One eye's looking at me, and the other's…

No, Thanos. No, please!

And you too, stop it.

We've already lost one day. Don't ruin another one.

-No. -Yes.

-Want your five stars back? -You're with him.

-Go back to your training. Go fight. -Sorry.

-Fuck off. -All right. Thanks, Thanos.

-Where did you go? -I went…

This dickhead slept at the client's place and came back without the money.

Did you at least have fun?

No, I broke someone's jaw and got stabbed.

And the knife was rusty, so I definitely have tetanus.

-He's asking you if you fucked her. -No, not at all.

But we talked all night. That chick's incredible.

She loves owls too, and her favorite color is blue.

-Blue? -Yeah, turquoise.

Is he zemel?

What do you think?

I think he likes dicks.

Right, listen. I hope you slept well, because from now on, you're gonna hustle.

All right, boss.

-What's a zemel? -A zemel is a lion.

-Really? -Yeah.

-I'm a massive zemel then. -Yeah, that makes sense.

I'm gonna be a mighty zemel

You're not so smart now, you dirty fucking leftist faggot.

-This country's going under thanks to you. -And capitalism.

You Arab sucker!

If this is 'cause of the scarf, it's really just for style.

-What's your style? Big raghead dicks? -Faggot!

Get down, Scooby-Doo. I'm gonna eat your little carrot tip!

-Is that Arthur? -Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's for me.

You okay, dude?

Listen, not great, but…

-I'm holding up. -Move, raghead. You're gonna suffer.

You're racist?

Oh yes.

We better not fight then, guys.

-Did you pee your pants? -No, but seeing as you don't like Arabs…

I don't wanna make matters worse.

-Fuck him up, Lulu. -Okay.

All right. Okay. This guy's sick.

Come on!

Watch out.

Sorry! I'm sorry.

Tonight it's Eid. Allahu Akbar!

Watch out!

-Dude, that was close. -Get off me!

-Wait, you could thank me. -No, I'd rather die!

Help me up, guys.

Careful, dude. Yeah.

There you go.

That was impressive.

You hardly touched them, but you really fucked them up.

It is my work though. I get paid for it.

Yeah.

Yes, sorry. True.

It's true. This thing isn't free.

I don't know what species he is. Fucking hell. He must be a Berber.

I recognized his teeth.

Take this for now.

-Yeah. -Well, that's it.

Hold on. I'll call my buddy who lives nearby.

-No, it's fine. Don't worry. -Seriously?

No, honestly. Are you okay?

-Yes. -That's what matters.

Are you Arthur?

I presume you're Blanka? Well…

Nice to meet you, but it's sorted. Thanks.

Thanks? You made me come here for nothing?

Whoa, hold on. What's the issue?

I also ordered a guy from Speedy KO in case it went tits up.

Well, it sure went tits up.

-Dude, you came really late. -Bro, it's simple.

Pay me, or I'll smash your fucking head in.

Really?

-You look like the Grinch, motherfucker. -So…

That's not wrong, but let's calm down.

I gave him everything, so let's not yell.

Okay, I'll fuck your mom then.

I know her. She wouldn't be down.

-Are you fucking with me? -No, it's just you're not really her type.

Dude.

-Get off. -Calm down.

If you hit him, I'll have to intervene.

-Is that a threat? -No, not at all.

You just have a ponytail. Honestly, dude, it's really dangerous.

Hold on. You know what?

-Take his 100 euros. -What are you doing?

You didn't come for nothing. Everyone can have a nice day.

-Okay? -Nothing changes, huh?

The Hello Brawl guys are still pussies.

That's not very nice to say.

Well, I'm not nice.

Just watch out.

-Oh boy. Are you okay? -Now that's a bad sign.

Please stop. He already made a fool of himself.

What did you just say? Who's a fool?

Oh wow. It's broken.

-It's broken? -Yeah.

It's got a real nice zigzag.

Should I take you to get an X-ray?

-Get off me! -Wait!

-Get off! -I can't leave you like that.

Listen, wait!

You haven't seen the last of me!

Zigzags suit you, though!

Go fuck yourself!

Oh boy.

Fucking Blanka.

You do look weirdly like the Grinch.

You think so?

Yeah.

A communist Grinch?

I frighten the rich.

-That's so funny. We have the same laugh. -Yeah?

-Do you not get jokes either? -I do, why?

-Go on. -All right, Kevlar.

-You're not a loser. Go on. -Go on, I'm ready. Let go!

-Sure? -I'm ready.

-All right. -Fuck, I'm not ready.

Yeah, you literally have no strength.

I told you. I suck at fighting.

-Why do you work here then? -Hit me all you like. I always get up.

It's like a superpower.

I can't feel any pain.

Yeah, you're like a lab rat and all that?

No, I got hit in the head by a Fiat Punto when I was three.

My mom thinks it's 'cause of that.

I thought I might as well take the KOs.

That way…

I at least get expenses.

The more knuckle sandwiches I eat, the more my kids get on their plates.

But at this rate, Kevlar, you're gonna end up like ground beef.

So what? It's fine.

I'll just cut off my cheeks. The kids can have cheeseburgers.

-Naïm! -You're weird, bro.

Did you refuse to fight a guy from Speedy KO?

Yeah, I did.

He called all the Hello Brawl guys pussies,

so I said that's not cool.

Come up to my office.

Wait, Kevlar's telling me about his life. It's so cute.

Come up right now, you dickhead. Come on!

Come on! Stop acting like the victim.

-No need to get angry. -I was joking.

I was just saying that in front of them.

-You did call me a dickhead though. -No, you're my champion. I was kidding.

-It sounded really sincere. -You're my best guy, Naïm.

But your issue…

-What's wrong? -You have no business skills.

You think I don't know? I've been taken for a ride my whole life.

-Really? -Like this T-shirt.

-Yeah. -I bought it for 7,000 euros.

That's why you should maybe feel more involved in the company.

Yeah, how could I do that?

You just have to invest in it.

The issue is that I'm saving up for Cheeky.

Well, yes. It's precisely for Cheeky that I want to do this with you.

You were horrific with her.

-True. I'm gonna make it right. -Yeah, 'cause she doesn't like you.

-What I'm offering you… -Tell me.

Rather than paying you like everyone else,

I'll keep your salary.

-Why would you do that? -Wait. Let me finish.

The more you fight, the more the company's value goes up.

The bigger your slice of the cake gets.

What do you think? It's a crazy offer.

Well, why not?

-What? You don't seem up for it. -No, I'm really up for investing.

But it will all depend on…

What type of cake is it?

It's a metaphor.

I get that. I'm telling you, Gary, if it's strawberry, I'm really allergic.

-It makes me go… -Wait.

No, there aren't any strawberries in it. It's an image.

Oh, okay. It's just a photo of the cake.

No, there aren't any photos of a cake.

There isn't a cake. It's a fake cake.

It's an imaginary cake.

It's money.

It's shares of money.

-Okay. If it's money, yes. -There you go.

I didn't get the cake thing.

It didn't make sense, you know?

Gary, just let me know when we hit 50,000. I need to call Dr. Couffard.

Of course. No problem.

I'll even take her with you.

-Are we good? -More than good.

-Your turn. -Hello Brawl. How can I help?

-Thanks, boss. -No, you're the boss.

-That makes me uneasy. -You're the boss.

-No, you're still the boss. -No, you are.

A brawl's kicking off in Bassens. Hurry.

-I do what I want, bro. I'm the boss. -No, he's right. Go on. Move it.

Go on. Move it.

What's the matter, my little roach?

You look all upset.

You've never offered me a slice.

I've been here since the start.

Do you wanna get swindled and work for free too?

You're a genius.

Obviously!

And you're a sucker.

Hey, take this. Go get a wax.

Those slugs.

And get your chompers done too.

Laëti, I went to the bathroom. I saw the wall was cracked.

If you want, I can paint it tomorrow.

-You do that? -Yeah, I did a painting qualification.

'Cause I love colors.

-One sec. -Laëti, honey.

-Yeah, you okay? -I just wanted to talk to you.

-I had a really nice time with you. -I'm glad.

Could you come join me? I have a big producer for you to meet.

Sure, yeah. All right. Don't worry. I'll join you after.

-Sure? -Don't make me change my mind.

-Really sure? -Move it, bro. Yes.

All right, fine. I'm going.

Hey, bro.

Have you been busy tonight?

Not really, but I could sing. It was cool.

Like, can you sing well?

I don't know, but Lucas has wanted to sign me up for The Voice for ages.

But I don't want to be famous and enter the industry, you know?

-Can you sing something? -I actually find it so embarrassing.

Forget it. I'll clean up.

I can sing you something short.

-Not if it's embarrassing. -I can tell you'd like it.

No, I can tell you're annoyed.

No, it would make me happy to make you happy.

-Really? -Stop tidying up.

-Sure. Calm down. -Come on then.

I'm so stressed. Okay.

-I'll give you a massage. -No, don't.

-It'll relax you. -No, it's stressing me out.

-Really? -That's why. Yeah.

Love it.

My mom sang it when I was little.

Then she died, so it really moves me.

-What did she die of? -I'm gonna start.

I understood all the words

I understood them clearly, thank you

Reasonable and new

That's how it is around here

How things have changed

How the flowers have wilted

How the time before

Was the time before

How if everything flies by and tires

Love also comes to pass

You should know

I'll go looking for your heart

If you take it elsewhere

Even if in your dances

Others dance your hours

I'll go looking for your soul

In the cold, in the flames

I'll cast spells on you

So you still love me

So you still love me So you love me, you love me

There you go!

Did you like it?

It was… You're beautiful when you sing.

Fuck that! Musically, did you like it?

Musically, it's a bit harder to judge.

Why?

Because you missed quite a few notes.

That was on purpose. I reinterpret them.

-The wrong notes were on purpose? -Yes. What?

In that case, you have no idea how incredible it was.

Like, it's a technical feat. It's unheard of.

The off-key notes were crazy.

That's so mean. Why would you say that?

-Seriously, douchebag? -No, wait. I didn't mean to upset you.

I'm saying that for you, Laëti.

You wanna help me?

-Anything you want. -Shut up and clean up.

There.

Go on, the johns, the tables, everything.

Yeah, bro. You pissed me off.

You're drinking a lot, aren't you?

Okay, finished.

You're actually really touchy-feely.

Only when I'm drunk. Does it bother you?

-That you drink? -No, that I'm touching you.

No, I like it.

Well, I'm warning you. You won't be sleeping on the sofa tonight.

Okay, don't worry. I'll figure it out, but…

Could you take Cheeky? Hotels and dogs are complicated.

You don't get it.

What's the matter?

Do you want to sleep together?

Yeah, but it's weird to ask like that.

You don't get innuendos. I have to talk to you like a big idiot.

You wanna fuck or not, bro?

Yeah, it's just I've never done that.

Never done what?

Well, I don't usually fuck. I only make love.

We can make love. I don't give a fuck.

Okay then.

-There you go! -Is Daddy beautiful?

Yes, but he needs mascara.

-You can put some on. -Yeah!

Daddy's phone's ringing, and when it rings…

We cover our ears.

Well done, my little Salma.

Speedy KO. How can I help?

Hello, I'm calling to book a fighter right away.

Sorry, we're full today, bro.

But I can book you Blanka for tomorrow if you want.

I don't give a fuck. Tomorrow's too late.

My girl's about to get her pussy pounded. What are you on about?

Bro, I can tell you're skinny. I'll break you in two. Calm down.

I'll call Hello Brawl if that's how you talk to people.

Is that your business approach?

Call them, damn it! What do you want me to say?

-Oh shit. -What?

-Your hair smells a bit dusty. -Really?

Okay, how much is it, please?

100 euros.

100 euros to get her punched by some disabled guy?

It's a rip-off, but I'm in a rush.

Send your location.

I hope he drinks her blood for that price, you…

Yeah!

-So shall we take the doll? -Okay.

-What's this whore? -Don't you like her?

No pants or nothing. Who gave you this doll?

Mommy's boyfriend.

Mommy's boyfriend?

-Yes. -Mommy has a boyfriend?

-Yes. -What's he like?

He's fat.

He has eyes like this

and long hair.

-He's a fat Chinese guy. -Yes.

You turn me on so much.

That's good.

Wait.

Fuck! You took your shoes off.

Sorry. I'll put them back on.

-Wait. -Oh fuck!

-It does stink. Oh fuck. -I don't feel good.

It's okay.

I put them away. It's okay.

Your old hobo feet!

I didn't think making love in sneakers was sexy.

I forgot. I'm sorry.

Dude, you smell moldy. Go away please.

-Should I come back? -It's terminado!

Really? Okay. That's fine. I'm sorry.

No, Cheeky. Stop it. Stay there.

Come back here, son of a bitch.

Blanka! See, I was right.

It was broken.

Shut it. I'll destroy you.

If you wanna fight, put your guard up.

You know what I'm gonna put up? Your whore of a mom!

What's up with you and moms, dude? It's crazy.

It stinks of an Oedipus complex.

-Calm down. You'll hurt yourself. -Get off me.

-Don't be a rascal. -Fine. I'll stop.

If you want my opinion, it must go back to your childhood.

Were you molested?

I'll give you my therapist's number. You have a lot of work to do.

Lucky for you, incest issues are her specialty.

Okay, give me her number.

-Really? -Yeah.

You'll see, bro. She's great.

Within three sessions, you won't want to bone your mom.

But just so you know, she doesn't work on…

There you are.

Go on. Now fuck him up.

You okay?

Oh come on.

Come on, bro.

Start, bitch.

Start!

It's him.

Open the hood.

So…

The injector cable's disconnected.

Don't move.

There we go.

Go on, try.

Yes!

Hey, JB.

Could you drop me somewhere? I got held up.

-Sure, get in. -Yeah?

Too kind, JB!

I sure got you, bro.

-Don't the screws hurt? -No, it's okay.

Honestly, I should thank you, bro.

I'm much better off without that bum.

Honestly, I'm glad I could help, dude.

I'm warning you, bro. That chick will ruin your life.

Haven't you seen what a bad fuck she is?

I can't say. We haven't done anything.

You can tell me. I don't give a fuck.

If you don't give a fuck, I'll tell you. We did make out a lot though.

I got a big erection.

What? Do you want me to kill myself?

So you can fuck her in peace? Is that your plan?

No, I don't fuck. At worst, I'll just make love to her.

-What did you say? -I make love. I love missionary.

If you say any more crazy shit, I'll go down the highway the wrong way.

We'll take out the first family van.

Want me to pull a Palmade? Is that what you want?

Calm down. It's okay. I won't touch her again. Promise.

No need to get so mad.

Will you help me get her back?

Would you do that for me, bro?

Yeah, sure. Okay.

I'll help you on one condition.

Promise not to hit her?

Promise.

You know, JB,

good job you talked to me, because…

-I was this close to falling in love. -Okay, get out of my car.

Don't be stupid, okay?

No, look. It's okay.

No, you don't seem okay. After the Palmade thing, I'd rather stay.

Let's spend the day together. Want to go swimming?

Right, get the fuck out.

Get out of here!

-Life's beautiful. Don't forget! -Shut it!

I believe in you, JB!

It's him over there. Can you crush him and then throw him in the trash?

-Wait, how old is that little kid? -He's a big kid. He's 8 and a half.

-So, little man. What's your name? -Mouloud.

Mouloud, why did you hit Enzo?

-He called me a fat pig. -Yeah, but he stole my sandwich.

-What? I stole your sandwich? -Yeah, with sliced ham and little pickles.

Wait. Do you eat pork, Mouloud?

No, I don't. It's haram. If I eat it, I'll go to hell.

It can't have been him. He's Muslim.

That's why he's accusing me.

Is that true, Enzo?

You think he stole it because he's Arab?

Yeah, but also 'cause he's fat.

Yes, but you're wrong.

You see? Looks can be deceiving, you know.

You're right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too for slapping you.

Aw, you cuties.

-Do you feel better? -Yeah, we just needed to talk.

Yeah. You just need to talk.

That's it.

You shouldn't fight.

You just need to talk. It's really simple.

You know what? I'll pay for your sandwich.

Thanks to you, I've understood something very important today.

Keep your ten euros.

Do I look like a bum?

Wait. At least take this candy.

Are you a pedo or something?

Oh, my little Mouloud.

It'll be hard to break stereotypes.

Bunch of racists.

-Mouloud, what are you doing? -Oh, it's fine. I'm adopted.

You know what my mom's called?

Fatiha?

She's called Corinne, dickhead.

-You know what she always drinks? -Soda?

She downs red wine, that crazy bitch.

Now leave me alone.

Want a bite?

No, it's pork.

I swear, it slaps!

Naïm!

-Are you Zboub The Night? -No, that's bullshit.

I'm Nordine, but everyone calls me Bi Turbo.

-Okay. -Take a seat.

Is the brawl here?

Who said we're gonna fight, bro?

We're just gonna talk. Hey, are you hungry?

-Yeah, I'm starving. -Pigtails!

-Yes? -No, the fat one with the mustache.

Roll over here. Do some work.

Order. It's on me.

You sent Blanka back in pieces, bro. You're ruthless.

The issue is Blanka doesn't take advice. I said, "Put up your guard."

Listen, Naïm.

Who gives a fuck about Blanka? I threw him in the trash. He stinks.

I need a guy like you in my team. You have real values, real principles.

You said you're fighting to save your dog and you don't hit women.

That's real gentlemanly stuff, bro.

-Really? -Tell me something. I just wanna know.

How much does that dimwit pay you?

I'll pay you double.

At the moment, he's not giving me a lot, but…

It's 'cause I'm now a partner.

What, for free?

No, he's given me shares in exchange.

Stop with the bullshit!

No, I swear!

He's screwing you over too!

That el qahba hasn't changed. What a weld el haram.

Wait, you know Gary?

Do I know him?

I got shot thanks to that piece of shit.

Now I'm rotting in a chair.

I'm the one who comes up with the good ideas, bro.

Think they call me Bi Turbo 'cause I drink gas in the morning?

Hello Brawl.

It was me.

I told him about it. He stole my idea while I was in prison.

No, what he did isn't cool.

Don't believe that bullshitter. He just talks shit. He's an alcoholic.

Honestly, the deal is legit.

We shook hands in front of everyone. They all saw.

You think you signed with some big corporation?

It's not official. It's off the books. You know that, right?

Just a sec.

-Gary. Yes, Gary? -Where are you?

With Zboub The Night.

Bi Turbo.

-Nordine? -Yes, Nordine. The guy from Speedy KO.

What the fuck? Why did you say we're together?

I can't lie to people.

What's the matter? Did I mess up?

You know what? You did the right thing.

Tell him you saw me.

And tell him that the day I catch him,

the last thing that son of a bitch sees will be a bald man in a wheelchair.

And tell him I'll squeeze his mom's pussy so tight

that I'll make cyprine juice and drink it like cordial.

Then I'll roll over that whore's neck.

I don't know if I'll remember that, but I'll tell him.

No, you'll remember.

It was nice to talk to you, Naïm. You're a cool guy. I like you a lot.

But I hope you'll be on my team the day I get revenge,

because I swear I'd hate to fuck you up.

I swear, I'd hate that.

And don't forget that at Speedy KO, we roll as a family.

Hey! Go park somewhere else. That's a disabled spot.

She's annoying enough. Keep your ass out if it!

Listen, my ass is fucked.

But you're gonna move your car. I'm not gonna say it twice, okay?

-Let's go. -I ain't moving anything.

Just 'cause he's disabled doesn't mean I won't fuck him up.

Now you can park wherever you want, dickhead.

Son of a bitch.

Okay, guys, yesterday we did ragheads. I feel like we need some Pakistanis.

That's what I think. If you see a rose…

-Bam! -Hey, guys.

-Yeah? -Isn't that the raghead from last time?

-What are you doing? -That's him.

I recognize his baboon back. Look.

Guys. You know what we're gonna do? Attack him from behind.

Yes, hello?

I have a donor.

-Really? -Yes.

I'll put my fingers in his mouth.

It's a little Chihuahua who's brain-dead,

because his head got crushed by a truck.

We'll fuck his face up.

That's horrible.

No, it's great for you, because his heart is perfectly healthy.

We'll tie him up, blindfold him, then I'll get out my huge…

Hey, I just have a question.

Your ideas always involve dicks, don't they?

And Arabs.

-Yeah, Arab dicks. -It grosses me out.

It doesn't sound like it does.

-What should I do? Should I reserve it? -Yes, reserve it.

-Come on, faggot. -Yeah.

-I shouldn't reserve it? -No, reserve it.

I'll reserve it, okay. For one week.

In a week?

No, I'll have the money.

Yes, it's fine. Of course, long live France!

Shut it, Cheb Mami!

Not so smart now, are you?

Doctor, I'll call you back. The skinheads are here.

Well, give them a hug from me.

Bye, you poor sap. And good luck. Bye.

All right.

-What do we do? -We can save it, but it's a lot of work.

Let's put it down.

You fuck our women!

-Hello? -Fucking hell!

Pick up! I've called you 15 times.

-Yeah, Gary. I'm sorry. I… -I don't give a fuck.

A rapper needs you.

Don't fuck it up. It's HIV, a big client.

What? It's HIV?

I'll do it for free for him.

No, we don't do things for free. Fucking hell.

Get the cash and come back. We need to talk.

Yeah, I'll…

Naïm, are you fucking with me?

-Why? -Remember what state you came back in?

No, actually. I don't remember.

As if I didn't exist

You have to stop, Naïm.

-Yeah, but Cheeky needs me. -Forget about Cheeky.

If you continue, she won't have an owner. Don't you get it?

You're right, actually.

I need to stop.

On the other hand,

I like fixing people's issues.

That's not a real job, Naïm.

Well, look.

People could call me as a fight's kicking off,

and instead of hitting them like an idiot, I'd get them to talk.

You'd be like a street peacemaker?

Exactly.

I'm sure you can solve anything with words.

The right words, though. You need more than 50 in your arsenal.

Arsenal?

That's clearly not one of your 50.

-Is it like a urinal for your ass? -Yeah, it's not one of them.

Do you think my idea's shit?

No, actually. Sorry. I'm an idiot for saying that.

-Go for it. -I don't know if I can on my own.

Why not?

I'm not the brightest.

I can help if you want.

-Do you think I'm a moron too? -Huh?

-You know what we're gonna do? -Yeah?

You're gonna stop drinking, and I'll stop hitting people.

It would be cool if you could stop getting beaten up too.

Deal.

Oh, I didn't tell you.

Did you just swerve me?

Dr. Couffard found a donor for Cheeky.

-We did it. -I didn't tell you either.

-What is it? -I don't give a fuck about your dog.

Weren't you late?

Yeah, I am. Sorry.

HIV, are you there?

-Is that Hello Brawl? -Yeah.

I'm so fucking glad you came.

Fucking hell. HIV, the sickest guy of his generation.

Dude, I'm so happy to meet you.

Stop sucking my dick. There's a gang waiting for me.

Yeah, they look determined. What did you do?

I was grinding on a chick. She didn't tell me her man was there.

She was touching my dick when she told me, so I kept going.

-Really? Hand in your pants and all? -Yeah.

I know I messed up, but honestly at the time, I was into it.

I get why they're annoyed. What you did wasn't cool.

Who cares? We'll go out. They'll get their phones out.

Everyone will be filming and stuff.

But my mixtape "Syphilis Gang" is coming out.

Volume three?

Yeah, Planète Rap and all that.

I have to act like a thug and keep my street cred, you know?

Yeah, if your fans realize you're a pussy in real life,

it won't work.

All right, come on.

Actually, I wanted to know. Are you called HIV 'cause you have AIDS?

What are you on about?

It makes me sound like a player. Chicks love it.

Because looking at you, you could seriously have it.

Dude, stay focused. It's war out there.

Don't act like an idiot. Come on.

You can tell me. My lips are sealed.

I don't have fucking AIDS. Are you a doctor?

Calm down, guys.

Butt out. And don't hide behind him.

Let's go head-to-head.

You think I'm scared? I'll fuck you all up!

Hey, no one's gonna go head-to-head with anyone, okay?

HIV is acting all hard, 'cause his mixtape is coming out.

But he's not hard at all. The poor thing is terrified.

-What? -I've got this.

Everyone knows rappers are liars. He doesn't even have AIDS.

Asshole.

Was it your girlfriend who touched his dick?

Yeah, why?

He won't dare tell you, but he knows he messed up, okay?

-He liked it. -What's that?

But he's sorry from the bottom of his heart.

Can you say you're sorry, please?

Go on, say sorry.

You have AK-47s in your videos, right?

Hey, asshole? But you're actually a pussy.

-Oh yeah? -A little bitch!

No, please, guys. Stop it.

I'm gonna hit him. Follow me!

I said follow me, you bastard.

Sorry, H, but I'm way too far away to intervene.

What do I do now?

All you have to do is really clench your jaw,

'cause his fist is heading for your jawbone.

I give you shares in my company, and that's how you thank me?

Well,

speaking of shares, Gary…

What about shares?

How many do I have? Just to keep count.

Why do you give a fuck? Don't you trust me?

Of course I do. We're partners. We tell each other everything.

It's just that people are saying you're fucking me over.

-I tell them you're not. -Excuse me.

When you say "people," do you mean the bastard in the wheelchair?

How did you know? It's him, yes.

He's trying to turn us against each other.

You know he's really mad at you?

I mean, he said a load of insults that I won't tell you, 'cause…

He basically said he wanted to roll over your mom with cyprine juice.

Is he in a wheelchair because of you?

Because of…

Because of me?

Get down, everyone. This is a hold-up!

Here, fill this up.

Go on!

Easy, sir. You're out of control. Calm down.

Go on, bro. Hit me.

Go on.

-Go on. -I can't when you're looking at me.

-Turn around. -Let's drop it.

Drop it? Are you serious?

The Albanians are gonna rape me. I need money.

Turn around. Don't bust my balls.

-Gary? -Please get out of here.

Won't you open the safes?

No, sir. I'd rather die than open the safe.

-Get lost. -Are you serious?

Get out of here. Go away. Please.

-Get your wallets out! -No!

Get out of here.

Police! Drop the gun!

Stop it! Get down!

So is it my fault he got shot in the back for a handful of chouquettes?

Oh boy. Abdelkrim got you real good, huh?

Gentlemen, I ordered sushi for you guys, and it'll be down there in two minutes.

Were they slaughtered?

"Slaughtered."

-You're different. I like you. -So do I.

That's a good one. I'll join you in a sec.

You know what?

I'm gonna do my own thing.

-Can you give me my shares? -Oh yeah?

And I'm gonna fund the competition.

Have you lost it?

It's a new concept.

I'll fix people's issues peacefully.

And was HIV getting beaten up in front of Chupito peaceful?

Cut the crap, please.

You know what? I'll just take off half a star.

Now get back to work.

I don't think you understand.

I quit. It's over.

I'll go see Rafik to ask for my total hours.

Wait.

Let's talk, since that's your concept. Guys, my office. Hey!

Come on. Your concept is to talk, so let's talk.

You wanna talk? Don't you mind working with racists?

Do you know how much market share racists make up?

No, but I do know we're over, Gary.

Get out then.

-I'll get my shares. -You won't get a euro.

-Fuck off, terrorist. -Get out.

Gary, can I talk to you in private real quick?

What don't you get?

You're a joke. I can't even book you for ten euros.

Go on, get out of here, you dirty old loser.

And I'm warning you.

-Naïm. -Give me that.

If your company overshadows me, I'll wipe you out.

Hey, take your B4 menu and Nazi sauce, you son of a bitch!

Dirty Arab!

Come on, quick!

Dirty Arab!

Dude, why do you want to stop fighting?

I don't know anyone who hits like you, bro.

By the way, how come you're so good, seriously?

Well, when I was little, my stepdad hit my mom.

And because we lived alone,

I wanted to learn how to fight to defend her.

At first, it wasn't easy, because…

my stepdad packed a punch.

It was pretty explosive.

One night I heard my mom yell.

They were fighting in the living room, and I got really mad, and…

You fucked him up.

I put him in a coma though.

-Too right! -Yeah, but…

His family pressed charges, and I went to juvenile prison.

No way.

Two weeks later,

he got out of hospital, and…

and he actually…

-He got back with her. -Really?

Yeah, and then…

he killed her.

He killed my mom. That was the last time I saw her.

So I've got to say, buddy…

violence isn't great.

Yeah, when you put it like that…

You must be really pissed off, man.

When I was a kid, yeah, but actually…

I realized there's no point in being angry,

because it's like he's still hurting me.

And if I'd tried to talk to him when I was a kid instead of…

hitting him like that,

maybe my mom would still be alive.

You see?

No, I really don't, but I feel for you, bro.

Hey, keep your eyes on the road, 'cause…

I'm not in a rush to meet your mom.

Can you pour us another one, baby?

Yeah.

I need to piss. Can you return what I gave you earlier?

-I'll give you it after. -No, give me it now.

I'm not gonna show everyone. I'm pouring you a shot.

Yo, guys!

Whoa, Danny the Dog!

How's it going?

It's nice to see you.

Don't overdo it, JB. Chill out.

It's all right. We made up.

I tamed this animal.

I took him to work last time. He was so happy.

He was wagging his tail like a dog. Weren't you?

Why are you here?

I quit Hello Brawl.

Okay.

I wanted to tell you, but I'll come back.

You can stay. JB was just going.

-Oh yeah? -Yeah.

-Yeah, you're gonna go right now. -My jaw.

Move your bear trap. Move it.

I see you and JB made up. That's cool.

He just brought me coke.

Yeah, that's not so cool.

But I'm glad you're talking again.

Are you glad he called you a dog?

He's just jealous. He thinks there's something between us.

Oh yeah. There's nothing.

Anyway, if he hits you again, you know you can call me.

What do you want, Naïm?

What do you mean?

Either we're flirting or we're friends, but you need to decide.

Because honestly, you're not at all my type.

But even though we're different,

I feel like we could start something, even if it seems absurd.

I'd prefer to stay friends then.

That's how it is then.

No, it's because friendship usually lasts longer than love.

You just want me to put you up, but I gross you out.

I only see inner beauty anyway.

Fuck your inner beauty, okay?

Mr. I Don't Drink, Smoke, or Get Mad. You'd bore me to death!

Why are you smiling, loser?

Can't you hear me? Are you deaf as well as blind, is that it?

I get that even if I turn you on, you'll never fall in love with me.

Oh man.

I don't want to make you suffer.

Stop with your shitty remarks. You're the one getting me down.

It might be the cocaine too.

No, you're the one breaking my heart. I want you out of my bar!

-Really? -Get out of my bar, Naïm!

-Buddy. -Laëtitia.

Move it. I'm gonna fuck you up. Come on.

-Laëtitia. You need help. -She doesn't want you.

-I'm here for you. -She wants you gone. Move it!

Please call me!

He's mental.

Didn't I tell you he was a bastard?

Enough. Shut up.

Don't you want to sing a song to relax?

I know I can't sing.

Stop sucking my dick. Move it.

-I'm here for you, and you shut me down? -Get out. We're closed!

You want the truth? Everyone knows you can't sing.

You're an awful singer.

So stay here with your shots and your lonely life behind the bar.

Being alone is all you deserve!

-Shut the fuck up! -Alone like a piece of trash.

You're dead, you crazy bitch.

LOVE ON DEMAND

Love on Demand. Are we sure about the name?

Don't you like it?

It's not very manly.

And you put hearts all over it. Bro, it's a bit over the top.

We're not here to be manly. We're here to settle disputes.

Without slapping anyone?

Yeah, just with words.

Anyway, with a name like this, we're gonna have to fight.

-Hey, please. -Leave him to me. I'm gonna fuck him up.

Easy. Please.

Hey. What's the matter? Tell me.

I work all night.

I get in at 7:00 a.m.

He's been drilling all day for six months.

By Allah, I'm gonna lose it.

All day? I'm sick of this nonsense.

What? You're sick of immigrants?

-You can't say that. -What? Immigrants?

-Whoa! -Fuck! I said "nonsense."

-What? -I didn't say "immigrants."

Speak up. We can't understand what you're saying.

-Oh yeah? -That's an angle grinder. I'm outta here.

Hey!

Please!

Let's all calm down, okay?

Now, let's listen to each other. Why is your work taking so long?

A recording studio doesn't get made just like that.

It's a precise job.

You're making a recording studio?

I just have a few things to calibrate, then I'll leave you in peace.

Do you produce as well?

Yeah, bro. What kind of style are you looking for?

Cloud, drill, trap, hyphy?

Mumble?

Hardcore.

Okay. Cool.

-Apparently it's cool. -Shut up.

-Want to hear some tracks? -Yeah.

It better be good, or you'll get hit with this iron bar.

There's a good chance his music is shit.

-Thanks, guys. -No worries, man.

-Have a good session. -Nice one.

When he said "mumble," I wanted to beat the shit out of him.

Yes, hello, Dr. Couffard? I got held up. I'm really sorry.

Could I get a bit longer?

Sorry, Naïm, but it won't be possible to keep the donor for much longer.

I'll have the money in a week.

No, 48 hours max. That's it.

Okay, cool, three days.

No, listen. Forget it. It won't work.

I had a feeling you weren't reliable.

No, long live France, Doctor.

-No, that won't work anymore. -It won't work anymore?

Don't worry. Promise I'll get the money.

-Bye, you poor sap. -Fuck France then.

All the same.

Well then, is he dead?

In three minutes.

Shame. He was beautiful. But beauty isn't everything.

Well, looks are useful, but that's not how…

-How you build a life. -Love on Demand. How can I help?

I want a dwarf with big tits, please.

-We don't have any dwarfs with big tits. -Oh, well…

No dwarfs with big tits, bro.

-Small tits? -No dwarfs. What don't you get?

-Legless woman? -What don't you get?

Kevlar, calm down.

I told you Love on Demand is a shit name. They think we sell hookers.

We'll find another one. No need to get so annoyed.

You need to learn to communicate. Let's play the word game.

-Get the dictionary. -You're up for it?

-I'm up for it. -All right.

Give me a hard word, at least three syllables.

Okay, give me the definition of "confabulation."

Someone who invents fabulous stuff?

"Conversation where people whisper as if they are sharing secrets."

I wasn't far off.

Dude, you're either a liar or a total idiot.

And I've never seen you lie, son of a bitch.

You're a real moron.

Oh yeah.

-Kevlar? -What's up?

I got your joke.

So what?

That means I'm not that stupid.

If you hang around with me, it means you're not the brightest, buddy.

Yeah, no, you're right.

You're not the sharpest drawer of the knives.

That's for sure.

You got the expression wrong.

Is that not it?

It's "Don't mix rags with forks" or…

You don't know it either.

Nope.

Well, we're both idiots then.

Are you sure it's here?

Yeah, apparently it's on the roof.

Who has a fallout on a roof?

They must be suicidal.

Cheeky, don't move. Good girl.

Yes! There's an elevator.

Have you heard from Laëtitia?

I don't get why you haven't gone after her.

You clearly liked her too.

No, but I promised JB.

Or he was gonna kill himself.

Who gives a fuck about JB?

That fat loser can go die.

Dude, seriously?

Fucking hell. And you missed it!

-So what? You can take a punch. -That's not the issue. It's humiliating!

In front of who?

Well, in front of the fly, bro.

Go see your mom. She made me stupid.

-Fuck. He's here, guys. -Guys, they're here.

You guys the ones who have beef?

-Oh yeah. -No, quit fucking around, guys.

Can't you see we're walking into a trap here?

You think they're all against us?

Obviously.

-Even you, Youssef? Are you against us? -Of course I am.

And you, little Sayian?

Yeah, I'm gonna fuck you up, bro.

Come on! "We're gonna screw you. I'm gonna smash you."

"We're gonna fuck you up, bro."

Yo, guys. All your insults have sexual connotations.

That's love.

It is! I'm telling you, it's love.

You just don't know how to express it.

This raghead speaks well.

It's rare for an African. They run fast, but they're dumb.

I set up a new company with Kevlar. It's called Love on Demand.

No, we're still not sure about the name.

But what we are sure about is violence doesn't solve anything.

I'm gonna say something corny, but the solution is love.

-Get off me. -Hey.

Fuck your useless politician waffle.

You got too cocky. You gotta pay.

Everything has a price, bro.

Yeah, that's true. I agree.

You're right. Everything has a price.

Don't you think you've paid enough?

Huh? Don't you regret losing your smoldering gaze?

Your chick sure regrets it, believe me.

No, Kevlar. That's humiliating.

What? You were talking about his smoldering gaze.

Come on. It's never your fault!

Not now, please.

-Two seconds. -Two seconds my ass!

Wait!

Guys, please.

-Fight, damn it! -No, they're our brothers!

But can't you see they're all sons of…

Come on! Throw that hobo overboard.

Hold onto me!

Take the satellite dish.

Naïm!

Naïm! They're gonna throw me. Fuck!

Naïm!

Kevlar!

Let's see if he can do more than just steal scooters!

All right, come here!

I've put on weight too.

Naïm. This is it. I'm gonna go.

Don't let me go, buddy.

Give me that and get your fat patriotic ass up.

What are you gonna do to me?

Nothing at all. Get out of here.

Really?

I'll go then.

I said move it. What are you waiting for, cuz?

-Sure? -Yeah, I'm sure. What a weirdo.

No, 'cause I'll be gone.

Hey, there's no one left to defend him.

If you wanna get the cash to save Cheeky, it's time.

-You're right. -Go and find someone else, cuz.

Show him respect. He saved your life.

Yeah, true. Come on.

Congrats on your abs, but put on a T-shirt, bro.

Hold on. Take this one.

Is he moving? He's not moving.

FUCK THE POLICE

Whoa, sorry, bro. You okay?

Kevlar, put down the bat.

Sorry. I can handle it though.

What? You're with a guy? Am I paying you to get fucked?

Come here, or I'll get your mom by her hair.

-Hey, Naïm. -Yeah?

Real pissed, okay?

Don't pull your Care Bear act.

-Don't let him brainwash you. -No, it's fine.

Real pissed. Is this okay?

No, it's not great.

-I'll kick his ass. -Yeah, put some effort in.

How are my champions?

-Don't try and fool us. -Listen, Gary.

I came to get my money. And it's nonnegotiable.

Naïm, I need your help. It's Nordine.

Nordine and the Speedy KO guys.

They're on their way. They wanna smash me up.

They know I have no fighters.

Please, I'm sorry for everything I did, but only you can get me out of this.

-It's okay. I'm here. -I need to talk to you for a sec.

I told you I'm never doing anything for that dog again.

Look, my face isn't far from ground beef.

I promise there won't be one drop of blood.

This is it. It's confabulation time.

You still don't get what it means, but I appreciate you taking the risk.

Oh shit. They found your Achilles' heel.

-No, come on. Please. -Yeah, you'll see.

Calm down. I won't ever hit you anyway.

I caught too much sun

Too much love, too much I love you

I…

-What do you want? -You asked me to come, right?

I just said I missed you.

I took that as an invitation.

I sent you that because I was sad.

But now I'm feeling better.

Hey, let's start over with a clean slate.

-Please. -That's not possible, JB.

-Why not? -You're too violent.

Can't you see I'm calm?

Look at me.

It's no coincidence, all this.

Cheeky, what are you doing there?

Hey, are you listening when I talk to you?

Get lost!

-Sorry-- -Where are you going?

-I need to go. It's urgent. -You're not going anywhere.

You call this calm? You nut!

I come here to comfort you, and you ditch me?

-Let me go! -Can't you see I'm stable?

Okay.

It's okay. I get it.

You get what?

That the slate's not clean yet, JB.

No!

Stay back.

Stay back, or I'll smoke you, you bunch of clowns.

It's fine, guys. I emptied the clip before he got here.

I'm not scared. I don't need that.

I'm the boss of Hello Brawl. What's up?

My eye!

She fucked my eye!

Laëtitia, is that you?

-Yeah! -Awesome!

That's great. Go on!

Yes, punch!

Don't overdo it.

Yes, the knee. Great, yes!

-I'm the one getting my ass kicked! -Sorry.

I know you don't hit women, but she's gonna kill me.

Laëtitia.

-What? -I think I'm going blind.

Cheeky, no!

Cheeky, don't move!

That's a good girl.

Stay like that, my squirrel, okay?

-Let her hit me, so I know where she is. -Okay.

Where is she?

Yes!

I'm sorry!

By the way, Naïm.

-Yes, Laëtitia? -I wanted to tell you.

Tell me.

I agree.

Agree with what?

That we should stay friends.

-Oh yeah? -Yeah.

-Awesome. -Yeah.

We'll always be together. You can stop me from seeing jerks.

Yeah, for sure.

Friends for life!

Wait, before I forget.

Here.

-What is it? -Your eye.

Come on, please. Leave me a bit.

I've had three divorces. I have a lease.

Hey, deal with him if you want your 3%.

You stabbed me in the back for 3%?

It's fine. I'm not gonna touch him.

Son of a bitch! 3%?

You fucking roach!

I should've burned you to death, prick!

Good evening.

What? I can't hear you.

You made me eat dog kibble.

Please, listen.

Life has been hard enough for him.

Imagine living with a face like that.

Imagine not having a chin.

He's a roach.

Exactly.

If you crush him, he'll multiply. By the hundreds, even thousands.

Let him live. Even insects have a right to live.

Go on, my little roach. Go hide under the rug.

Thanks.

Careful.

Gary?

-Yes? -I just wanted to ask.

You know the money you owe me to save Cheeky, what's the deal?

We'll work it out.

Yeah? All right, then.

-When? Because I really need it. -How's Tuesday for you?

Give me the bag, clown.

-Oh fuck. -Send the money over here.

Naïm, can you handle this for me, please?

It's Bi Turbo. What's up?

He's opposite us. He's holding us up. Go on.

-Don't worry, I've got this. Bi Turbo-- -No, here. Go on.

Naïm, get lost. I have to get revenge.

Listen, Bi Turbo. Do what you want.

But if you do this, you'll ruin your own life.

Zebi, don't you get it? My wife left me.

My daughter sees her padre pushing a cart all day like a loser.

I get to school with dirty hands. I can't stroke her hair.

You know I covered for him in the trial? The fucking heist was his idea.

You shot yourself in the foot, buddy.

That's why I did Hello Brawl without you.

-I knew you'd drag me into it. -It was my goddamn idea.

The day you visited me. You needed someone to defend you.

That's when I came up with Hello Brawl.

Did you forget? Is your brain broken?

Do you still drink beer? This guy still drinks beer.

With your fat, old potbelly and your skinny arms.

You look like an Ethiopian from 1984 in a Michael Jackson video.

"We Are the World."

Bi Turbo, please. Listen.

If Gary hadn't visited you that day,

you wouldn't have gotten the idea, right?

Thank you.

Yeah, true.

If this guy wasn't a big pussy, I wouldn't have thought of it.

-You're right about that. -Exactly.

The idea for Hello Brawl came from your brain and this big pussy.

No. Hey, come on! Stop saying big pussy. You keep saying it.

What I mean is the idea belongs to both of you.

That's the beautiful thing.

The idea is your baby, your child.

Cherish it together.

Nordine, brother.

I miss you.

Come on, my little Care Bears.

I missed your alcoholic smell.

Get lost, you bunch of clowns.

-Excuse me, Gary? Have you got a sec? -Yeah.

It's just about the cash you owe Naïm.

Jacquouille, take your hand off him, or I'll punch you right in the head.

-With your squashed hedgehog face. -Serves you right.

Get out, fuck!

-Wait, I forgot Cheeky. -No, don't worry. Kevlar's holding her.

-What? -Got her, Kevlar?

Huh? Yeah, she's here.

-I need to get the cash from Gary. -I've got everything.

Come on. He's a cool guy. He gave me it all.

-He just gave it to you? -Yeah.

Awesome.

Hold on.

Yes!

We did it!

Police! Don't move.

The orange T-shirt!

-What's the matter? -Stand back, miss.

What's he done? He's a victim.

We've had 17 complaints of assault.

No, guys. That's true, but I swear it's a misunderstanding.

-Turn around. -I love the police.

FUCK THE POLICE

-Who are you kidding? Move it. -Careful.

-He can't see! -Who gives a fuck?

-Kevlar, listen. -Yeah?

-Please look after Cheeky, okay? -Don't worry, buddy.

Call Dr. Couffard. She'll know what to do.

I'll handle it. Don't worry.

-Laëtitia, Kevlar! -Move it.

-I love you guys! -We love you too!

Cheeky, it's gonna be okay.

Go on, move it. Duck down.

Hurry up.

Yes, Cheeky. Yes!

-Dad will be back soon. -Fucking hell!

-Was that you? -Yeah.

That's crazy.

You're very aggressive for police officers.

-Can I touch your card? -Shut it!

Again, so aggressive.

-Why didn't they take you? -Have you seen my face?

I keep getting trampled on. I should be pressing charges.

Can you do other dogs? How about a Labrador?

-Not really. But I can do a goat. -Really?

-Yeah. -Sick.

But you know, Mahmoud,

forgiveness isn't at the end of the path.

It is the path.

Yeah, sure.

So how's the convict?

No way!

-I recognize that ugly hooked nose. -Are you okay?

-Are you good? -Yeah.

Take a seat.

How are you holding up?

You know, the only real prison

is that of our ego, brother.

That must be it, yeah.

I have a surprise for you.

What is it?

I went to Dubai to get her operated on.

No way.

Cheeky!

No way. It's…

-It's Cheeky. -Yeah.

Oh, my Cheeky!

Hold on. That's weird.

-I feel like her fur is different. -It's…

It must be because she hasn't seen you in ages.

So she has goosebumps.

Right, Cheeky?

-Yeah, you're right. I'm stupid. -Well, yeah.

At least it was worth it.

It won't have been for nothing.

Well, no.

I'm so happy, my Cheeky.

Come here, my little squirrel. Give me a kiss.

-She's happy to see you. -Yeah. Come on.

Come and dance

Under the sun of Cheeky

She's the love of my life

We have all night to love each other

Come on, Kevlar, come and dance

-Calm down, please. -Sorry, we got carried away.

-Here. Be careful with her. -Of course.

What's that?

-What? -The little balls there.

No, that's nothing. That's not… That's a scar.

Okay, I was scared. It felt like a pair of balls.

Come on.

Love on Demand. Speak to him.

Guys, please. Calm down.

Silence!

Sayian. Okay. Listen to me.

Walid took a shit on your landing. Okay. But you don't have all the context.

Maybe he came to apologize, then he got scared you'd kill him,

and it started running down.

Don't you get it? My mom stepped in it without her sliders.

There's no going back. I'm gonna fuck him up!

No!

Sayian.

-Let's not fight over poop. -Fine. You're right.

It's just shit, bro. Let me go.

Exactly, it's just excrement. Now those are wise words.

Get up, little Sayian.

And now, friends, please.

With joy, love, and good humor, let's make peace.

Go on, make peace.

Namaste, my brothers.

Subtitle translation by: Rachel Jones