Original subtitles

Where are we heading for, Dad?

Wide open spaces where men are men. And the women?

No women.

That's how we get into this thing.

Yipe! Head south, boy. It's going to be a cold winter.

What do you say we book our act around here for a while? Good idea.

There's no girls anywhere as pretty as the girls in Oklahoma.

Pop! Pop!

But he sounds so pretty.

I'll get him if it's the last thing I do.

What did he tell you his name was?

Thanks, Sinatra.

Hey, Scat, how about playing some dates in Texas?

Now you're talking.

No girls anywhere as pretty as the girls in Texas.

I reckon we lost them, Buck. Yeah, but they're gonna be mighty easy to track

down. One of them told my little sister his name was Gene Autry.

Louisiana.

No girls anywhere.

Pretty as the girls. No, you don't. We're going to stay right here and get

ourselves a job.

I know. Don't phone us. We'll phone you. Don't race your motor different mouth. I

booked a date for us.

We're going to be eating again. Kidding. That's good news for the mice. Now we

can quit stealing their cheese.

I'm so hungry, my pucker won't puck. Well, my waistline was practically back

to normal. Which one? Where are we playing?

Johnson's Mammoth Carnival.

Oh, the seals couldn't make it, huh? What a setup. We run the gamut, we sing,

we dance, we recite, and then you do your specialty.

Oh, I'll blow them out of the joint.

Well, this is a little different. This is a novelty act.

What kind of novelty?

All you have to do is ride a bicycle.

What kind of bicycle?

It's a regulation bicycle, standard equipment.

Oxyacetylene lamp, new departure, coaster brake. Do I ride it fast?

The slower, the better. No hands, huh? That's entirely up to you.

Well, pack up your Google. Let's fly from this fleabag. Lucky our laundry

came back.

This time I'll take the money. So some gal won't tear it out of you with tears.

Oh no more heart of stone What is this

don't wake up the desk

We're full of glee, my buddy and me.

We're happy all day through. You'll always see us laughing like little boys.

We're so full of joys. That's why we say to you, we're on

our way to Apalachicola, Apalachicola.

Tell me, boy, where's Apalachicola? Clever town, down south. Down south?

What are we wearing this long underwear for? We're quite a target.

Thank all your trees and blossoms, I'm a pretty southern gal. It's better than

the orange groves in Cucamonga Cal.

We're gonna stay along the Appalachicola Bay.

We may stop in O'Clock Corner for some harmony grits. Or pass through

Tallahassee if the weather permits.

We're on our way to Appalachicola, F.L.A.

Way down upon the Swanee River.

Swanee. Oh, that old Swanee.

I can't wait to get down there.

See my little old mammy with that load of cotton coming up the road.

And there's my sweet old papi.

He's always got a load.

Oh, and that Confederate moonlight.

Shines down and make those stills look so swanky.

You know, that Thanksgiving dinner.

When they barbecue a Yankee.

Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.

Carry me back to old Virginia.

Virginia.

Off to the schoolhouse down which I would wind.

With my little bitty old ball weevil trudging behind.

Come along, Bo.

My pa bet on horses that always ran far.

So Ma rented cabins to the folks from up north.

Apalachicola, I hear you call it.

Apalachicola.

I'm on my way.

Well, let's go.

We're on our way to Appalachicola,

Appalachicola, Appalachicola, Appalachicola, Appalachicola,

Appalachicola, Appalachicola, Appalachicola, Appalachicola.

I killed him. Shall I chat with an encore? Oh, no. Time now for the topper,

pal. You're a novelty, Abbie.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, you fools.

Thank you, you doll.

Don't leave the grounds.

Here, here.

Get dressed.

Get dressed.

Warm them up, Abbie. Oh, Mr. Johnson.

Our contractual obligations?

I hope your partner does better than the great Sand Dog.

He'll be in the hospital for at least six months.

Yes, well, don't you worry about Barton the Magnificent. He'll give you a good

show if it kills him.

You made a good deal, Mr. Johnson.

Does Notre Dame know about this boy?

A little insurance.

He'll see that your partner doesn't get cold feet.

Too late.

Shall we then?

What a filth. You think Superman will sue?

Uh-oh, just as I thought.

Falsies, huh?

Falsies? You kidding? That's real flab. How about this? What are you going to do

with this? What's this for? Oh, I'm going to play the fast chorus of Dinah

while I'm riding the bike. This will just... Oh, no. Just whistle it, kid.

Hey, my breath.

It'll be all right. Don't worry.

Come along.

There we go.

Up. Up here? Yes, sir.

There we go.

Woo-hoo.

Hey, wait a minute. Where am I going? Why am I climbing? Get your bicycle.

It's up there.

You want me to ride that thing? Up there in the stratosphere?

Who do you think I am, Mr. Jordan?

Up that ladder.

How did Mount Baldy get into this? Up that ladder. Go on. Get yourself an

eagle, brother. Wait a minute.

What is this? What kind of a... Wait a minute, please.

I can't stand altitude.

Just a second. I get dizzy spells.

Wait a minute.

Watch out. Not too high. My nose will bleed.

Wait.

I may hatch this, you know.

Take it easy.

We're getting 200 bucks for this. See?

Yeah, well, let me hold it. If anything goes wrong, at least I won't die poor.

You can trust me, boy. I'll take care of your doll.

Yeah, you take care of it, all right, until some dame comes along.

All they have to do is tell you the sad story of their life, and you want to

give it a happy ending.

Oh, Betty, now I'm getting ice on my ears.

Don't push. We're here.

All right.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, I'll have to get down. I forgot my rosin.

Your attention, please.

Autumn the Magnificent will now perform sensational and death-defying aerial

feet. The ride through space.

What's your problem, honey?

There's nothing between himself and eternity but nerves of steel.

Introducing Barton the Magnificent, substituting for Sandor, who,

unfortunately, broke his leg this afternoon. Wait,

I'm not getting enough money.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait a minute.

There's just one shoreline.

Please. It's windy out there. Please. Please. Don't. Don't.

Don't. Don't. Where'd you go?

See you at the derby.

You'll be glue if you talk to him.

Queen of Brazil.

No girls anywhere as pretty as the girls in Brazil.

Don't beat their heads until I get my money back.

If you break his legs, don't tear the tights. They belong to me.

Come on, let's find them.

Now watch your step, folks.

Step carefully, please.

This is, uh, Texas steer. He's still kicking a little.

Hey, where are you going? Put it on the block.

Any more?

That's it, matey. Close her up.

Okay.

Don't go away. I'll be right back.

Hot lips.

Let me hear from you.

Hot lips.

I'm getting warm. That's ham.

Hot lips.

Quiet, quiet. You sound like a typewriter.

Huh? How do you feel?

Huh? How do you feel? Like a popsicle.

Come on. Where are we? I'll get you a spot of tea. Come on.

What I need is a blowtorch.

You look like an ad for cool cigarettes.

Come on. So long, fellas.

Where are we?

What happened? Who was it?

Hurry. It's bad for my throat.

Come on, I'm getting cold.

What happens now?

Everything's all fixed, Penguin.

Where do you see the cozy little hideaway I found for us? A lifeboat

built for two. All I want to do is curl up on a nice warm stove.

Huh? Hey, in here.

Come in.

Your suits, gentlemen.

Just a minute.

Where are the other two?

Why, I really don't know, sir. I had them when I left.

Well, would you please try to find those suits? We'll be terribly inconvenienced

without them.

You wouldn't want us to be inconvenienced.

Those suits were tailor-made.

We're very fond of them.

We'd better get them back.

Harry!

That'll be all, thank you.

I'll tell you when to get tough with people.

You're working for me, Harry.

And I've too much at stake to have it spoiled by your hoodlum tactics.

Is that clear?

Right, Mrs. Vale.

Come with me.

I can't find Lucia.

Right, now we can see.

Yeah, I've seen enough for you. Here, here, give me that.

Burn that man's suit. I'd like to defrost my goose pimples, if you don't

mind. Oh, isn't this great?

Let the housing shortage beat. We got our own little lifeboat, boy. Yeah, if

the boat sinks, we're sitting pretty.

For a change, we got to jump on the women and children. You couldn't get me

a trap like this down near the boiler room, could you? Don't want you down

near the boiler room. I'd like a little heat.

No. I'd like to hear from my blood again. No.

I want you up on deck where it's healthy, where you breathe that good,

deep salt air.

You're salty enough for me, boy. Get me in these nooks only because you give my

money to those Danes. May I give you one small piece of chit-chat for your files?

If the most beautiful woman in the world were to walk by here this minute, you

know what I'd do?

Give her the full fuller.

I'll give her the brush. You can't sell me.

Did you hear that?

What's that?

Who's there?

Well, it's just a dame. Yeah, but she's crying. Maybe I can help her. Oh, don't

bother. She's old enough to blow her own nose.

Oh, wait a minute.

You gave me your word of honor. Your scout's old and you crossed your heart.

That's a tough parlay to buck.

Yeah, but those are real tears. Now, this dame is different.

Here, here now.

Here. Stop. Let me go.

Here. Here now. You don't want to do that. That water's pretty cold out

there. Hey.

Let's get back, pal. You want us to get caught? Come on. I said let me go. Let

her go. Maybe she wants to rinse a few things. Go ahead. You've got the wrong

idea. You're loaded. You've got everything to live for. Yeah, she's

loaded, I know. But remember Oklahoma, Texas, New Orleans? Come on, I'll help

you jump, baby. Here, now, come here.

Get back in the nook, schnook. Go on. Hey, whoa!

Say, wait a minute. I just thought of something. Wait a minute. If you jump,

you'll get us in trouble.

We've got all we can handle now.

I'm sorry.

I'll go back to my cabin. Yeah, go back to your cabin and shoot yourself.

That way nobody will get hurt. Make it very quiet. A little killing. Just take

it easy.

Who are those men with Lucia?

I don't know, but there's something familiar about them. There should be.

They're wearing our suits.

You're going to thank me later for interfering.

I can thank you now, Mr... Sweeney. Scat Sweeney.

My name is Lucia Maria D'Andrade.

And I'm Hot Lip Spartan.

Okay, introduction's over. Let's spread out. Wait a minute. Don't push me,

Pappy. This kid's in a lot of trouble now. We've got to take things easy. Will

you please give her the brush? Scout's honor.

Okay. So long, kid.

And don't tell him any sad stories because we're tapped, cleaned out,

haven't got to eat.

Stowaways, third class.

Why do you want to take that long, wet leap for a gorgeous gal like yourself,

hmm? I don't know.

I'm worried and confused.

I just don't know. Couldn't be a man, could it? No.

Yes, I suppose so. Oh, I get it. All men are rats and... No.

No, it isn't that at all.

I love Sherman.

He's going to meet me in Rio.

We'll be married.

We'll be happy. We'll be very happy. Wait, wait, wait. Who's Sherman?

He's my Aunt Catherine's brother.

Your uncle?

No.

You see, she's not really my aunt. She's my guardian. Oh, well, does she know

about... Oh, no.

If she ever found out what I tried to do tonight, she'd be heartbroken.

She's a wonderful woman.

Now we're both confused.

You're not in love with this fellow. You couldn't be.

Girls don't go around cutting themselves in with the porpoises when they're going

to marry the fellow they love. That doesn't make any sense at all.

No.

Nothing makes sense lately.

Every time I make up my mind to do something, I change it.

Just as though I had no will of my own.

There are hours, days even, when I just don't remember what's happened.

I know what you're thinking, Mr. Sweeney, and maybe you're right.

Oh, wait a minute. Don't you tell me what I'm thinking.

You're just as normal as I am.

That's any consolation to you, but you've got to pull yourself together,

honey.

Pre-movies. Isn't this pleasant?

Outdoors and everything.

Mind sitting here in the balcony?

Wonder what we're running tonight.

Hey, look, honey.

Hey.

You're going through a tough time and you're letting it get you.

That's no way to handle trouble.

Look at Max and Gertrude up there on the screen now.

Her lease is up, and he's got a big hangover, and her feet are killing her,

but they are up there floating through the air as if they didn't have a care in

the world.

How do you know all this?

Watch the next shot.

Why, Mr.

Sweeney, that's you and your friend. That's right.

We stopped off in Hollywood for a few days and stole a couple of dollars doing

extra work.

Little hot lips. He's really hamming it up, isn't he?

But getting back to Max and Gertrude, you'd think he was madly in love with

her, wouldn't you?

May I tell you something?

Boy has a redhead in Jersey City.

Mad about her.

You'd think she's in love with him, but she's not.

Watch this.

He thinks she's in love with him.

Watch this here.

Loves to show his teeth. You can't blame him, though. It cost him a pretty penny.

You see?

No use worrying.

Love is funny or it's sad.

Or it's quiet, or it's mad.

It's a good thing, or it's bad.

But beautiful, beautiful

to take a chance.

And if you fall, you fall.

And I'm thinking.

wouldn't mind at all

love is tearful

or it's gay it's a problem

or it's play it's a heartache

thinking if you were my

to learn how to say not guilty in Portuguese.

Oh, this girl's in trouble, boy.

Big trouble, big.

She's in a worse jam than that girl in Bridgeport.

Bridgeport? You mean the wife of that sword swallower?

Chased to six blocks, burping daggers all the way?

Oh, don't go again, please.

Please.

Lucia.

Lucia. Are you asleep?

Listen closely, child.

You love Sherman.

I love Sherman.

Those two men you met tonight, they're stowaways.

They're stowaways.

They should be reported.

They should be reported.

You hate them.

You loathe them. You despise them.

I hate them.

I loathe them.

I despise them.

Sleep, child.

Sleep.

You like sugar on your ketchup? Nice grab, a bottle of blood. No toothpicks

even. I don't know about you, but I'm gonna need a shoe. Yeah, don't snap your

cap. Come on, join me. We'll get something solid. Wait a minute, I can't

go out there in this costume. They'll pick me up, which is a switch.

That's right.

Let us be inventive, egghead. We take your leotard.

Open your coat up. I'll show you something. Will it fit this high? You'll

be a smash on the deck. You'll look like Lord Puffingwell out for his bracelet in

the morning.

Yes, that's very nice.

Oh, that's jolly, isn't it? Get out of the way.

There you are.

Let me see. Oh, that's grand.

Put a bottle of tiger sweat in my hand and I'm a man of distinction.

Will you join me in a bloater? Lead, old boy. Lead, old boy. Thank you. Here we

go. Thank you.

There you are, Mr. Stanley.

Well, that's all.

How'd you do?

Oh, how are you there?

Starting to kick up a bit, don't you think?

Keep a stiff upper. It always gets a bit choppy here through the Gulf Stream, you

know. Yes, I clearly remember the last trip.

I understand at that time the ship did a complete somersault. Yes.

Lost my wife, you know.

Oh, lucky fellow. Lucky fellow.

Say, what do you say you join me in a spot of breakfast, huh? Maybe a waffle?

Shall we then?

titillates my gastric juices. My stomach is drooling too, you know.

Maple syrup, honey or something? Nice thick maple syrup. Yes, maybe a piece of

ham. Oh, nice thick greasy ham. A little bit of fat back.

Oh, yes. Banana cream pie.

Yum, yum, yummy, absolutely wizard. That sounds like a breakfast fit for a fat

old king.

Waffles, maple syrup and ham.

Maybe some onion soup for the chaser? Excuse me. Tell it, old boy.

Dig in, pal.

Come on, come on. What's the matter?

You shouldn't have mentioned that onion soup.

Oh, you weak stomach people.

I come from a long line of seafaring.

Okay, boys, let's find them.

Seems to have calmed down a bit, huh?

Not for me, it hasn't.

There's Lucia.

Hello, honey.

I see she brought a friend for you.

How are you feeling today?

I hate you.

I loathe you.

I despise you.

You made a lot of progress last night. Well, honey, this is your old buddy,

Scat. Don't you remember last night, the rail and the song?

Officer.

I want to report these men. They're stowaways. Should have played a record.

Well, now, what kind of... Oh, so you're the two guys. No, the... Come with me.

Wait a minute. The lapel. Drop the material here.

Fly, fly, fly. I'm in a stretch.

What happened?

Nothing important, child.

Let's have breakfast.

She's asleep.

Sit down. Don't wake her.

See anything of them? No, sir.

Did you check the linen lockers? Yes, sir. No luck.

Well, I'll find those pedicakers at the last thing I do.

Steady, Ingrid.

I'm so sorry

Bye-bye.

Huh.

What's that noise?

My mustache.

It's shorter now. You look better.

You?

I'll do the cutting now, you two ponies. Wait a minute. I had a shave this

morning. Okay, wise guys. Where have you been? How do you do?

Somebody need a shave? We've got to take care of the crew. You can tip me later.

This baffles me.

What kind of a piece of business is this? I save her life, and she turns us

in. Can you figure out why she hates me? Why she hates you? Yeah. No, that's hard

to figure out why she hates you.

Governor,

get our note.

Come on, the captain wants to see you.

It isn't Captain Bly.

I mean Mr. Christian.

Do you think he'll go for it? Just say it. I'll tell him we're both nuts.

He'll only believe you.

All right, the captain will do the talking.

Say, captain, I think our presence here can be explained very simply. It's just

a situation... Oh, not that. Stay away from us, will you, sister?

Please, I want to help you. Oh, she wants to help us. Yeah, what's the

matter? You mad because we're still breathing?

I think these belong to you.

Oh, come to daddy.

Well, my old heater.

My little brass gold mine. Now I can smoke up and learn the truth.

Did they hurt you? Say ah.

Gentlemen. How would you like to work your passage to Rio as members of the

ship's orchestra?

Do you mean us? Both of us? Yes, both of you. Just report to the leader. I've

already spoken to him. Oh, Captain, thanks a lot. Don't thank me. I leave

you in the custody of your benefactors.

Oh.

Can't we be friends?

I'm really very grateful. Grateful, huh? What's the idea of turning us in, then?

I don't know what came over me.

I found myself saying things, and I didn't know why I was saying them. Look,

why don't you just run for Congress and let us alone, huh?

Oh, now, look, lay off those kisses. You know he's weak.

I just wanted to show my gratitude.

Well, show me. I can take it.

All right.

This is for both of you.

Steady.

I'll get him in the next round. Oh, you should have been with me in that

refrigerator. Look, sister, you might as well face it. My buddy's turned over a

new leaf.

Tell her.

Look, in a lifetime of tears and laughter... It has been my discovery

that friendship between two men is more important than friendship between a man

and a woman.

Duller, but more important.

Tell her you're through with women.

And as far as you and I are concerned, we don't even know each other.

Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, we arrive in Rio shortly and the purser has

asked me to announce if you have any questions concerning disembarkation.

He'd be glad to answer them for you if you come to his office in the morning.

Thank you.

Hey, Mr.

Sweeney. Hello.

We've a problem that has had to spoil the trip because when we get off the

ship, we know we'll never understand the language. We won't be hip.

Oh, now, Miss Andrews.

To do deliberation of your problem, all you do is ruin them, wobble them, which

in any language always means a miss.

A kiss.

And this?

Da pontina.

Hey, amigo, now we know.

Now they know.

Yes, we know.

Now they know.

Supposing you need a vacation.

Brazil is the place you should be.

So you can't understand what they're saying.

Or you can't read a sign that you see.

But you don't have to know the language.

With the moon in the sky and a girl in your arms and a look in her eye.

You stop at the Copacabana.

With Sugarloaf Mountain in view.

On the menu mean nothing.

You can't ask a soul what to do. But you don't have to know the language.

With the moon in the sky and a girl in your arms and a look in her eyes. Is

that the good one? No, this one. When she smiles your way, what more would you

want anyone to say?

So you sigh, just sigh.

You don't have to mention that Yankee phrase.

Sigh, sigh.

Perhaps when you end your vacation, you'll bring back a bit of Brazil.

So you can understand what she's saying.

You need an interpreter still.

But you don't have to know the language.

With the moon in the sky. And the girl in your eyes. And the look in her eyes.

I know you don't have to know the language if you don't want to say

goodbye.

With the moon in the sky.

And the girl in your eyes.

It's the look in her eyes. You don't have to know. You don't have to know.

The language isn't necessary. Because the meaning doesn't vary. If you've got

the charm it takes.

The language isn't necessary.

And she smiles your way.

What more would you want anyone to say?

So you sigh, just sigh.

You don't have to mention that Yankee phrase.

Perhaps when you end your vacation, you bring back a bit of the zing so you can

understand what she's saying.

You need an interpreter still, but you don't even have to know the language.

With the moon in the sky and the girl in your arms and a look in her eyes.

No, you don't have to know the language if you don't want to say goodbye.

I still got three bars to go. It's 200 bar for you.

Everybody's finished.

Hey, wait a minute.

Where are you going? Going out for a little smoke.

Oh, no. You've been telling me that every night for the past week. This time

I'm going with you. Make sure it's only the pipe that smokes.

Just a minute, Bumpsy. Pick up that stuff.

What? You heard what the man said.

Stoop, if you can. Come on. Oh, no, no. What stuff?

This stuff.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, please.

Harry.

She'll be meeting him in the same place.

See what they're up to.

Strange business. I don't get it. Where's that radiogram you mentioned?

I've hidden it over here. Let me see it. It arrived today for Mrs. Vail.

I opened it.

Rodriguez knows about the papers. Immediate marriage necessary.

Signed, Sherman.

What papers? I can't imagine.

Who's this Rodriguez?

He's the attorney for my aunt's estate.

Looks to me like Sherman, boys, after your money.

Oh, no.

It couldn't be that.

My Aunt Catherine has supported me all of my life. I still don't like her.

It gives me a creepy feeling.

You know, lately I seem to get the same feeling.

Sometimes when she talks to me, I get chills up my spine.

Honey, next time you get chilly, I'm your man.

Lucia, mind if I come in, honey?

How do you like that dish-faced Don Juan? He's checking up on me.

Lucia, this is Hot Lips. String him along a little bit. We might need him,

huh?

Now, this is the first place he looks.

Well, here I am. Start bubbling.

Hello.

Are you alone?

I certainly am alone. Why do you ask?

Well, I thought you might have a date with Beanbelly.

Oh, no. What makes you think that? Well, he's always looking for a place to keep

warm. You don't think I could get serious about him with a great, big,

handsome, hunk of man like you around, do you? Just call me Hunk.

All right, hunk.

I must remember what kind of soap I used this morning. Here, drop anchor here,

baby, and we'll talk it over. Did I say talk?

Yes, we do have a lot. I know. There's not much time for talking. I know how

you feel.

Shall I kiss you now, or do you want me to tease you for a while? Oh, but hot

lips. I'm all lips.

Please, I... I know how you feel. You're warm, grateful, passionate.

What's the matter? You crazy or something? Please, I... Who came in?

I'm sorry. I lost my head.

Yeah, that makes two of us.

I'm sorry.

Please sit down.

You sold me, baby.

Come on, dear.

Oh, that's better.

Let's live a little.

Forgiven? Oh, naturally.

Naturally.

Oh, you have such a nice, smooth hand.

Oh, but this one's even softer.

And this one's softer, too.

You have three of the nicest... Three hands?

Three... And this one's got hair on it.

Aha, and it's got an ape on the end of it. Alone, huh? Who is this, your

father? You were never better, Junior. Great try. Goodbye, sister, and don't

write. Now, take it easy. Let me tell you something. You don't really... Oh,

that's all right. I'm not blaming you, pal. You couldn't help yourself. You're

just a weak, spineless jellyfish. You're so sweet. I'm no dope. I know what's

cooking here. Don't you see, pal? This doll's making a play for you so she can

get to me.

But, Hot Lips... Yeah, but it's not gonna work, baby. You've double-crossed

your last sucker.

Come on, let's blow this nest.

Oh, Mrs.

Bale. Oh, the black widow. The closet, come on.

Oh, there you are.

The captain's been asking for you, child.

I was just coming up.

Don't kick them. They've had enough.

Cigarette? Thank you.

Here's my brother.

Sherman? Hello, darling. I'll meet you at the gangplank.

Where's Lucia?

Find Lucia.

Yes, ma'am.

Scat, you do believe that I didn't know those men were in the closet?

Oh, I believe you, but that hot lip still thinks he was framed.

Let's let him think that way, huh? What are we doing in here? I thought you were

getting me off the boat. Stand by.

Genius. Thinking all the time.

There you are, all to yourself. Very intimate.

You're a genius. Well, I admit it. Get in there. Take off that skimmer. Oh,

yeah. Can you handle it? Oh, I think so.

Here, now, in case you want to get a little air, you can bore yourself an

opening. No dancing, please.

Hill?

Sorry, honey.

Hey, Dad, what are you stealing? Oh, there you are. There you are. Why did

you want me to meet you down here? Big news for you. We signed a bull fiddle

player. We're going to meet him up at the hotel.

Oh, that's...

What do we want with a bull fiddle player? My mind is working all the time.

Wheels are turning.

Well, tell me more, Orson.

When we get off the boat, we're going to get a band for you like you always

wanted. Isn't that wonderful? Are you happy? Happy? Let me see how you look

when you're happy.

Not that happy.

Not that happy. I talk the language. I'll make the context. We can't miss.

You're getting on the ball.

For a minute, I thought you were down here with Lucy. Oh, that doll is cooking

me, boy.

Feels like the bull is already in here.

Hey!

Why do we have to carry this thing? That's a union rule down here. The

bullfiddle player never carries his own instrument.

What, they got their own union? Yes, take some.

Here we go.

Push a little. This is no rickshaw, you left brother.

I can't understand you leaving Lucia without even saying goodbye.

Oh, I'm through with that chick. I told you downstairs, don't you believe me?

Can you breathe all right?

Sure, I can breathe.

See? Won't be long.

Easy there, Butterfinger, easy.

You waiting for your broom?

I'll listen for you on intersection.

What about Rodriguez?

Nothing yet.

As long as he doesn't get to Lucia before the wedding, we're safe.

The papers.

Good.

Put them away.

Where's the girl? She's not on the boat. What do you mean she's not on the boat?

She's not on the boat. She must have gotten off with those two musicians.

What two musicians? Two men she met on the boat.

Well, what about the wedding?

There'll be a wedding.

They just left the pier.

Follow them and you'll find Lucia.

And then take care of those two.

I hope you had a pleasant trip, Captain Harmon. Ah, Mr. Rodriguez.

Tell me, Captain, have you seen Senorita Lucia de Andrade?

Lucia? Yes. Didn't she get off with her aunt?

No, I didn't see her. Then she must have left with those two American musicians.

Two American musicians?

I wonder how I can find them. Well, that shouldn't be very difficult.

One of them had... Thank

you very much, Captain. All right. Thank you.

What is this, another lobby? Don't be silly. This is our suite.

Our suite?

Who pays?

Put it here, please.

Drop it. Drop it. Yes, yes. Hey,

hey. Who's getting married? This is two men.

Oh,

on the cuff.

Keep coming.

Tip the boys, huh?

We're down to our last buck. How do you say, give me some change in Portuguese?

It's too late. There they go. They're off.

Check back, men, huh? Here we go.

Hey, check back.

Say we're down to the burlap, you know. Stop beefing, will you? Give me a hand

with this thing. What are we going to do, eat the rug here? Just take it right

there by the end. That's a good man. Take it easy.

Don't strain yourself there. There's another handle, you know.

What are you, the head of the union? Oh, you're always beefing. Yeah. You'd haul

up your hung with a new rope.

Here we are living in a wonderful suite, the most expensive in the hotel.

Yeah, and there better be a fire escape.

Are you all right?

You keep asking me. I'm all right, I'm all right.

Okay.

Then put this over in the corner, will you?

Why don't you get a whip?

You're not a little stiff, are you?

Stiff? I haven't had a drink since I left the boat.

Nice setup, a suite.

What do we need two bedrooms for?

Well, you can't expect Lucy to sleep on the sofa.

No, sir. If anybody sleeps on the sofa, I'm... Huh?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Oh, Hotlet. Oh, no, no. You're a mirage. It can't be. It's just a figment

of my imagination.

A soft figment.

Full fiddle, huh?

Wait a minute.

The bull fiddle, those two gorillas.

If they didn't know what was going on, they'd have killed us.

And what makes me think they didn't know? Come on. Now, take it easy. Take

it easy. So long, sister. And if we don't get in touch with you, it's

nothing personal. It's just that we're prejudiced against dying young.

He's right, Scat. This is my problem. Hold it. Now, wait. Look, pal, this

gal's in a lot of trouble. And you've got to help her, like any guy would with

red blood in his veins. Yeah, well, I got news for you. I'm anemic. She stays

with us.

Nothing doing. If you think I'm going to let a beautiful doll like this live in

the same apartment that I'm living in, if you think...

If you... If... Yes, hot lips.

I'll give you just 72 hours to get out of here. Grand, grand. Now we're

promoting. Well, come on. What are we waiting for? Let's live a little. Well,

I'd like to if you'd only let me. Open this up. I'll have mine straight.

Happy grapes?

Are you ready to bubble?

Guanapara Club, please.

Yes.

Like to speak to Senor Cardosa?

Who's Cardoza? One of the boys in the band gave me a lead on him. He's a

fellow down here, goes for jump music in a big way. Oh, we're going to pick up a

little brand. Now we're moving.

Hello, Cardoza.

This is Scat Sweeney of Scat Sweeney and his Dixie Hot Shots.

Featuring Hot Lips Barton. Featuring Hot Lips Barton, yeah.

Zoot Shapiro told me I should look you up. Immediately we landed down here. He

said you might have a spot for our band in your new club.

If you're any good, I certainly could use you.

Mr. Cardoza, our group is gone.

Really gone.

Also got a great gal singer with us, Ginger O'Rourke.

Great singers.

Well, if she looks like the more she can sing like the more can't she?

Tell him she plays bull fiddle from the inside also plays it. No The rest of the

band. Well, there's a Well, there's me and hot lips Barton, that's two

Three four five pieces five pieces in the band. Yes, say

yes, mr. Cardoso Well, that's a little soon. Don't you think? How about

tomorrow night?

Fine, fine. You got yourself a band, brother.

How's that for operation, huh? Don't put away your scalpel, Doc. Where are the

other pieces? Let's get... You

mean

you're gonna hire those guys?

Why not?

Let's talk to them. I'll be back in a minute.

Yeah, but they're on key.

Come on. You gonna break open the Happy Brew or what?

Well, let's go.

Ready? Let's go.

To the Dixie Hot Shots? Yes, right.

Well, not so hard.

I must go on a diet.

That grape must be a little grumpy.

Want to go again?

Right there. I'll put it right in there.

It's pretty athletic stuff.

That might have happened to my stomach.

You ready, boy?

I guess so. We're through here.

How about that?

Now don't miss this time.

What are you looking for?

A light.

Oh, you got a light.

They don't call me hot lips for nothing, you know.

Hey, let's get out of here. This joint is haunted.

Guess what we need, huh?

We'll never get away with it. We want Dixie Hot Shots, not hot tamales.

Well, it's simple. We'll get five snappy Zooty uniforms.

Using what for money? Fuck, something we don't need. Like your head?

Wait a minute. I think I can help. I know a store where we can get credit.

Great. I'll clinch the deal.

Hey, fellas!

Rapazi!

Tell him.

What did you say here? They're joining up.

Wait,

George. Let's not be that grateful. That's our racket. Come on, honey. Lead

us to the store.

Here we go. Come along.

Hey, wait a minute. What's your problem?

Lobster ear. Don't you want to think this thing over? No, nothing to think

over. Come along. We're set. You're happy, huh?

Gee, things grow fast in this country. Oh, tropics, you know. Come along.

Scat Sweeney was one of those men on the boat.

And Ginger O'Rourke is Lucia.

Booth of Bane.

Booth of Bane.

Good evening. This is Vale's reservation.

Yes, surely. Back this way, please.

I don't like it. These stripes look too good on us. You would know.

You know, I've got a funny feeling about this whole deal, Scat. It's too perfect.

Stop worrying.

You want to get wrinkles over your wrinkles?

La Passeuse and Spesson.

Look more like Americans than we do. They could be the Andrews brothers, huh?

Yeah, Patti Laverne and Pancho.

Hey, wait a minute. Hold everything. What's your problem?

We're supposed to be Americans. These guys don't even understand English. I

got that licked. Teach him a little hep talk and Cardozo will never know the

difference.

So that you don't answer me in Portuguese.

You only know the phrase I'm going to teach in English.

You say, you're

in

the Groove Jackson.

You're in the group Jackson.

You're telling me. You're in the group Jackson.

You're telling me. What do you think?

What do you... What do I think? This is murder.

This is murder.

This is murder. You're in the group Jackson. You're telling me. This is

murder. You're telling me. You're telling me. What do I think? This is

murder. Time,

time, drag.

You better rehearse. Right.

Now, when I hold up one finger... You're telling me.

You're in the group Jackson.

This is murder.

Five more minutes, they'd speak better English than you.

You and the group, Jackson? They're off again.

Come

on, honey.

We'll be on in a minute.

I'm not quite dressed.

Maybe I better help her about it.

I'm a little young, huh?

Uh-oh.

Trouble. I wish you the best of luck.

Come on, let's cut in quick.

Hi, Mr. Cardoza. I see you've met the boys. Well, not really.

I was just... Oh, this is Spike, Satch, and Oscar. Spike, Satch, and Oscar. Nice

kids. Mr. Cardoza, yes, sir. I'm one of the gentlemen.

Okay, fellas, understand.

See you later. Well, you have a few minutes yet.

Let's shoot the grease, eh, boys?

No, they use most of it in their hair. They don't talk very much, do they?

Well, actually, they talk a blue streak when they get going. Yeah, say something

to Mr. Cardoza, fellas.

You in the groove, Jackson.

Isn't it sweet?

Plant me now and dig me later, eh, big boy? Oh, you groovy. Shall we then? Come

along. Oh, just a minute.

I'm sorry. You will have to put out that cigarette.

No smoking.

I said, no smoking.

You telling me? No, no. I'm telling him. He's the one that's smoking.

This is murder.

I don't care if it is murder. You cannot smoke.

No smoking. No smoking.

You're in the groove, Jackson.

You don't have to get fresh, you know. I'm only telling him the rules.

You're telling me? Oh, no.

I told you before, I'm telling him.

For the third time, no smoking.

This is murder.

You want to stunt your growth? He's a tobacco fiend, but it shan't happen

again, I promise you. Shall we then? You're telling me.

You're telling me? You're telling me? What?

He likes to mimic people. It's one of those things. His mother was frightened

by a parrot.

Crazy Americanos.

Teach him some more and we'll get killed.

This is murder.

You're telling me?

What a gown.

How'd you put that on? With a spray gun?

Yeah, I heard what the man said. No smoking. Not one little puff? No. Is

everything going all right?

Sensational. Watch this.

You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson? You're telling me you're in a

group, Jackson? You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson?

You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson? You're telling me you're in a

group, Jackson? You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson? You're telling me

you're in a group, Jackson? You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson?

You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson? You're telling me you're in a

group, Jackson? You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson? You're telling me

you're in a group, Jackson? You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson?

You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson? You're telling me you're in a

group, Jackson?

You're telling me you're in a group, Jackson?

You

Romance, it's such a wonderful thing.

One glance, and I was set for a fling.

And he isn't flippin' flighty like high school boys.

He's a college man with plenty of hope.

he knows an awful lot i guess you'd say he's got experience

experience he takes me out to dine and knows

the proper wine because he's got experience

riding in his car we had a flat

It was dark as it could be He got the tools

and fixed it just like that experience You see

He takes me straight home and he bows and shakes my hand

experience comes through So

if you want someone to plan with I'll gladly give this man

with experience to you

Get out of here.

You can always open a laundry somewhere.

Experience, you see.

He plays the nicest notes and this belongs in quotes.

Experience comes through.

So if you want someone to plan with, I'll gladly give

this man with experience.

No, did you hear that applause?

I think we're hit.

Honey, you were perfect. Wonderful.

Do you think you'll hire us? For a cinch.

Scat, my Anna's out in front. She wants me to join her. Oh, no, not that woman

again. Honey, she's nothing but trouble.

Not anymore, Scat. I'll see her.

Very good, boys. Very good.

Groovy, groovy.

We had it broken up. You were wonderful, wonderful.

Congratulations, Epcot. How'd you like that? From now on, you are working for

Cardozo. Best movie ever made. You'll own the choice in a couple of months.

Get a dancer for the bubbles. I will be right back.

Lucia, you are wonderful.

Holly, congratulations.

Thank you, Sherman.

Oh, come on, sit down. We'd like to talk to you.

I'm sorry to have to say this, Sherman, but if it's about the wedding, my mind

is made up. Oh, but Lucia. Of course, dear. And we'd be the last to try to

change your mind.

Do sit down.

Naturally, I'm not very happy about what you're doing, Lucia.

If that's the way you feel, then of course I want to help you.

Don't you see, dear?

That's all.

I want to help you.

A drink to our future, gentlemen.

Uh-oh. Daddy.

To the Dixie Hotshots.

Who are they?

Oh, us.

Yes.

Well, uh, Ginger.

Ah, you're just in time, Miss O'Rourke. Yeah, get a load of this contract we

just signed for five years. Two-week guarantee.

You proud of me, honey?

I hate you.

I loathe you.

I despise you.

Baby!

She acts more like Bogie.

Hey, please.

What is going on? What is this?

These men are making a fool of you, Mr. Cardoza.

They told you this was an American band, but it isn't. They picked up those three

men right here on the street in Rio.

Don't you pay any attention to her, Mr. Cardoza. She jumps the track now. Yeah,

her noggin's on the toboggan. Cleo, your camels are waiting.

Look at those clothes.

You are not Americans.

You're telling me? You're telling me? You're in the group sex. No. So, you are

phonies. You have been making a fool of Cardoso. No, no, we're doing everything

for you out there. That does not matter.

Liars do not work for Cardoso.

Get out.

Follow the key.

Follow the key. You don't have to call us names. Get out. We're on the level.

Look at our faces. Don't confuse them there. Let me tell you one thing.

Pedro! Silvio! You are through! Fired!

Keep out of here and never come back! We can explain everything.

Just let us talk.

Oh, drop that body. Just... What are you doing?

Yeah. Oh, you all right, pal?

Oh, I hate you. I loathe you. I despise you.

Lay off me, will you? I feel bad.

You foolish.

You will never work in Rio again.

Who wants to work? We're musicians.

I'm trapped.

Ha ha ha!

Good night, boys.

Good night, Miss.

The papers.

Put them in the safe when you get to the plantation.

What about those two musicians? They can still cause trouble, you know.

Oh, really, Sherman?

You should know by now that I never leave any loose ends.

Get some sleep, child. You have a long trip ahead of you. Come along, darling.

All right, Harry.

Let's drive around to the stage entrance.

With pleasure. There we are. I guess our engagement with Senor Cardoso is of the

limited variety.

Yeah, but don't worry, Dad. We'll find another country where a dame can get you

in trouble, I'm sure.

I can't figure that Lucy out. One moment she's sweet as pie, and the next second,

a heel.

What's in your mind? What's in back of all this? Look, you got 32 slaps. You

want to try for 64?

Let's grab a northbound boat and I get a switch this time. This time you hang in

the meat hook. Oh, yes.

Oh, better tell the boys it's off.

We'll send you one of our old straight jackets, huh?

Bye, fellas.

So long.

Adios.

Come on, genius. Let's grab the boat.

Uh-oh.

It's tall, dark, and cyanide.

Good evening, Mr. Sweeney, Mr.

Barton. Hi, Mrs. Bale.

Hiya, fellas.

What do you hear from your embalmer?

I'm sorry.

Mr. Sweeney. Yeah.

I'd like to make you and your friend a business proposition.

Business? He's all ears.

What kind of a proposition?

Lucia's getting married tomorrow.

I think it would be best for all of us if she never saw you again.

I'm willing to give you $10,000 to leave Brazil.

Ten grand?

Well, that's a big deal. We'll have to have some time to think this over. Yeah,

you'll have to give us time.

Well, time's up. Where's the money? Not really. I don't have it with me now.

Come along. We'll arrange the details at my home.

Let's talk this over. Let's get the money and then talk and count at the

same time. Happy thought. Jolly. We usually charge $15,000 to leave

countries. You're getting quite a bargain. Straight to the vault, James.

Oh, yes.

We took them out.

Where? They went that way.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

$10,000 in cash or this piece of jewelry? Personally, I look better in

the green stuff. Just a minute. It's my turn.

I'm afraid you've made a very poor choice, gentlemen.

You see, this locket happens to be worth $50,000.

Fifty.

The stone is one of the largest and purest of star sapphires.

It was mined in the Ranjipur province of India many generations ago.

Way down there.

If you look closely, you can see the iridescent star of the true sapphire.

Look closely.

Closely.

Yeah.

Yeah, I can see it.

Can you see it, Mr. Sweeney?

Look deep into the stone.

Now do you see the star?

Yeah, I can see it. Good.

Keep looking into the star.

You won't be needing this.

Many years ago, two men killed each other in the struggle for the possession

of this stone.

One of them was the Duke de Champer, a good-looking young man who bore a

resemblance to you, Mr. Sweeney.

In fact, you are the Duke de Champer.

I am the Duke de Champer.

The other man was a certain Count Penescu.

I'm the Count?

Generation after generation, gentlemen.

Your two families have hated each other.

I hate your family.

I hate yours.

This hatred has descended to you, the last decadent offspring of these noble

ancestors.

Swine. Pig.

That's the same as swine. All right. Ham.

You both desire the stone.

You would kill to get it.

There's only one way.

A duel.

A duel.

A duel to the death.

A duel.

To the death.

To the death.

A duel.

To the death.

Come, gentlemen.

Your pistols, gentlemen.

Loaded, I trust?

It's easy to find out. Not yet.

Not sporting, huh?

My man is ready, Baron. Good.

You gentlemen know the rules.

When I say go, take ten paces, turn, and fire.

Take ten paces.

Turn and fire.

Let's get out of here.

Bull!

Well, dog, why do you wait?

Haven't we forgotten something?

Ah, yes.

Final insult.

Ten paces, turn and fire.

Ten paces.

Turn. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

What is this?

A gun.

Oh, I remember.

That dame. She hypnotized us. Uh-huh.

You've got a gun, too. She wanted us to kill each other.

Boy, what a narrow escape, huh, pal?

Ten paces, turn, and fire.

Oh, now, Duke.

Duke. Scat. I mean, Scat, snap out of it. Wake up.

Look, you don't want to kill me. I'm your buddy, your friend.

It's no use, Count Vanescu.

Oh, but I'm not a count. I'm not a count. I'm just Hot Lips Barton, a plain

ordinary schmo.

I must avenge the family honor.

What family? You haven't even got a family. You were left in a doorstep with

a bottle of milk, homogenized.

Ten paces, turn and fire. Stop saying that, Scatch. You've got to listen to

me. We're friends. We're practically brothers.

Blood is thicker than water, and this is no time to prove it.

Besides, I want to live. I'm too young to die. Too young. Do you hear me? Too

young.

Oh, you spine.

That's the same as big.

Eight. No.

Nine. Ten paces. No, no.

No, no. Walk some more. You took short ones. No.

Turn. Don't do it, pal. Don't shoot. You haven't got a license.

Besides, I'm out of season.

Please, don't.

Outlifts.

Oh, my pal.

My buddy.

And I killed him.

Oh, when I think of all the gay, carefree, happy times we've had together

and... Now he's gone.

I wonder where he kept his life insurance.

I'll always remember you like this, partner.

Lying there in that beautiful double-breasted brown pinstripe.

Hardly even been worn.

You've got me to thank for this.

I've lied to you, I've double-crossed you, I've conned you ever since the day

we first met.

Remember that gal in St. Louis?

The one that broke a date with you because she had to go to the movies with

her grandmother?

Well, I was granny.

We didn't see much of the picture.

You remember the 20 bucks that disappeared in Cincinnati?

You thought your money belt sprung a leak.

I stole that 20 bucks.

Bought myself a duck press.

Hot Lips!

You're alive!

Say something!

Give me that 20 bucks.

Let me help you, let me help you. Wait, don't help me anymore, Granny. You've

helped me enough.

How do you like that?

Not even my size.

Look, now, you want to take it easy, Joe. Lay off me, you fat Benedict

Arnold, you.

And another thing, this deal about Lucia... Wait a minute.

Lucia? Yeah, what about her? Don't you see?

The same thing that happened to us happened to her. That swinging locket

routine.

Deep.

Deep.

Stop it. Makes me seasick. That's the gimmick. That's how Mrs. Vale gets to do

anything she wants. That's why she's marrying Mallory.

Oh, poor kid.

Are we going to stand by and let her throw her life away?

Are we going to take the easy way out?

Yes, we are.

Are you admitting you're a dirty coward? No, a clean one.

I've seen everything.

I've seen it all, but never, never in a lifetime of tears and laughter have I

seen a guy walk out on a gal who's nuts about him. Well, you're seeing one right

now. I tell you.

You mean Lucy?

You mean she's nuts about me? Just dying to kiss a trumpet player.

Well, that figures.

It's nothing new to me, you know. I've had dolls blow their lid about me

before. Well, don't stand there. You want to be best man, don't you? Come.

Always was.

Heidi. What do you say, John Senores?

We would like to speak to Senorita de Andrade. We're friends of hers.

Ah, for that you will have to go to Campinas.

She's being married this afternoon to Senor Mallory.

This afternoon?

A big wedding. The whole countryside will be there.

How about people?

Everybody will attend.

Good day, senores.

Everybody will be there but us. How far is Campinas?

About 300 miles.

Walk faster.

Brother, we're stymied. Not if we can hire a plane. Hire a plane? We haven't

got enough to get an airmail stamp.

We'll get dough.

Oh, sure, there's nothing to it.

Guy's gonna step out from behind a tree and say, here, boys, here's some dough,

hire a plane.

Psst, gentlemen.

I wonder if this ever happens in real life.

Mr. Sweeney.

Mr. Barton.

I... Hey.

Oops.

Hi. That's Eenie, Meenie and Moe. My name is Rodriguez.

The fellow on the radiograph. I understand Lucy is very fond of one of

you.

You will do anything to help her?

Remember, it may mean your life.

I'll get the police. I'll join you. No, no, no.

The police cannot help us. Not yet.

But you can.

Oh, gentlemen.

Hidden in a safe in Mrs. Vale's bedroom at the coffee plantation, you will

find... the papers.

The papers? Morning or evening papers?

They are in a long manila envelope.

Find the envelope and give it to the prefeto.

Prefeto sounds like a dessert. That's one of the local big shots.

The prefeto will be at the wedding. And he's a man we know we can trust.

Well, I don't get it. How can the... The papers stop a wedding?

These papers can.

Gentlemen, you do what I tell you. A momento.

What do you think? We'll fly to Campinas. Get the papers. Stop the

wedding. Foil Mrs. Mayo. Rescue Luciano. Boy, what a finish. Great.

Who is that?

The Warner brothers are very jealous. Thank God. Come.

Now, here's the money.

Hire a plane. My car will take you to the airport. Yes. You can spare me.

You're going to go with us, aren't you? I'll be along later with Helen.

Happy landings. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Break it up, men. We've had this already.

It's a nice landing.

Don't ever use the wheels. It's better that way.

Picturesque place, isn't it?

Yeah, we've got to meet Chloe here. Oh, she's featured here.

Oh, look at this. You all right?

Come, then. Come.

There you are.

There you are. Pretty cozy in there, wasn't it? You're telling me.

Pay the man, huh? Uh-uh, uh-uh.

They went that way.

Pay the man.

There you are.

There we are.

You get the actual rates?

Here, one for the co-pilot. Right here. Nice work.

And the hostess?

There you are.

Buy yourself a B-29.

Make our goodbyes to the rest of the passengers, won't you? Thank you. Which

way is the hot dog? Over here.

What are they going to hold the wedding? I'll find out.

Amigo, por favor, a que horas es el casamento?

Dentro de pocos minutos, assim que o prefeito chegar.

Obrigado.

We got to find those papers pronto. They're going to start as soon as the

prefecto arrives.

He's liable to see a double-header. Lucia's wedding and our funeral.

Brown, huh?

Uh-oh.

That's rigor mortis.

Oof.

Let's see what's playing up there in the mezzanine. Amigos!

Hey, do you believe in ghosts?

Who says opportunity doesn't knock twice?

We'd better tell Mrs. Vale. Come on.

Listen closely, child.

You're in the chapel.

My brother's at your side.

You're about to be married.

Do you see a Maria de Andrade?

Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

Come, child.

Time to get dressed.

Come on, let's go in.

What's playing in there?

The papers.

Don't do that.

Where's the safe? Behind the painting. Always is.

You have any more ideas, fat man?

Oh, tilt.

They must have talked to Rodriguez.

Don't worry, Mrs. Bale. They'll never get the papers. How do we know? They

haven't got them already.

Twelve to the left.

Seven to the right.

Nine to the left.

And to the right.

What was that?

Five to the... Five to the right.

Papers. Lucky for all of us, they're still here.

Tony, you watch that door.

Harry, this one.

I think our friends will be dropping by.

And this time, no game.

This little crib, huh?

Sneaks.

What's the matter with you? We've got the combination.

I was just reminiscing.

The papers!

Shh! If they hear us, we're dead duck.

Quack, quack.

Quack, quack. Quack, quack.

I like to see Batuque on the hill. I like to see Batuque on the hill.

Ay, ay, ay.

Ay, ay, ay.

Because Batuque is good for dogs.

Because Batuque is good for dogs.

Ay, ay, ay.

¶¶

Hi-ya-ya!

Thank you.

What's the matter with you?

And there's a few like chopped chicken liver And there's a few like chopped

chicken liver

I like to drink tzatziki on the hill.

I like to live.

Scott!

Scott, what?

Oh, it's you.

Proceed, boy.

Guys, the party's over.

Help! Help!

Help!

Get the lead out of your horses!

Where are they? Where what? Where's the papers?

We haven't got any papers. We can't even read. I wouldn't be caught dead with

them. No use.

We're cornered.

Fellas, the papers are right in the back of the clock.

That's right, right there.

Back of that pendulum. Stop horsing around. Where's the papers? Give you

just ten seconds to make up your mind.

Well, look, it's there. One. Right in back of the pendulum. Two.

Three. Watch the pendulum.

Four. Five.

Six.

Seven. Eight.

Watch the pendulum.

Deep into the pendulum.

What do we do now? Watch.

You are children, little children, playing a game.

You're playing patty cake.

Yeah, yeah, patty cake.

One of you cheats.

Naughty, naughty. The other one doesn't like it. You go faster and faster.

You're waiting for a chance to get even faster and faster. You're waiting for a

signal. A signal to slug each other. And when we say three, that's the signal.

One, two.

That's what they get for not seeing our pictures. Come along, come along, come

along.

Stop the wedding. Yeah, return the

presents. I do.

I do.

Don't you see? She's hypnotized. Oh, snap out of it, honey. For me.

Baby. Baby.

I'm sorry for this interruption.

These hoodlums don't belong here. Are you going to stand there? Just a second.

Wait a minute, sister. You're the one that's going to the clinic. This whole

wedding is a frame-up. Well, you see what we got.

The papers.

Here.

What am I doing in this wedding dress?

You're all right now, baby.

Here you are, sir. Take a look at these papers.

Pull up the drawbridge. Lock the gates. Don't let them out of here. What are you

doing, you fool? We hate you.

We loathe you.

We despise you.

We hate you.

We loathe you.

We despise you. Gentlemen, you have all our thanks.

Your discovery of these papers has prevented the horrible miscarriage of

justice. A paper stop a wedding? I still don't get it. I see.

Huh?

What does it say?

The world must never know.

What do you know? We never quite made it.

Exciting, though, wasn't it?

I'm sorry, nobody home.

We'll put the shoes out later, will you?

Ah, you thought you'd get away with it, huh? Get away with what? We're married,

bud. You're married?

I'm sorry, Scamp.

This is the man I love.

My dream boy.

Oh, please, honey, not in front of strangers.

Why don't you get a barrel and go over the fall, son? We'll check with you. How

do you like this?

And close the door tight.

All the time I thought she was in love with me.

Take it easy, honey Doesn't figure it doesn't figure at all.

Oh I might have known D