Original subtitles

I'm Allison.

I bet you're wondering why I'm putting a bikini on under my school uniform.

Good thing you're talking to the master. I've already got eight skip days under

my belt this semester, and I'm cruising into number nine.

My dad is completely oblivious.

He never notices when I skip school.

The only problem is maybe my new stepmom, Alexis.

The key to skipping school is three things.

First, you gotta watch your posture. If you're standing up too straight, they're

never gonna believe you're sick.

But you've got to make sure that your groans aren't too high pitched.

So you've got to watch the tone of your voice. Make it low.

Oh, my stomach hurts so bad, Mom.

The last thing you have to remember is intent.

If you tell them that you want to stay home from school, they're never going to

believe it. It's a surefire way to wind up in class.

So make sure that you say, no, Mom, I really want to go to school today.

You don't have to take my word for it. Just watch the master at work.

My stepmom's just like my dad. So caught up in everything she has to do.

Dishes, housework.

Couldn't care less about me. She'll never even know I'm gone.

Hey, sweetie. Come on. Let's go.

You're going to be late for school, and you don't want to be late.

See?

Clueless.

Showtime. Allison, are you alright?

Yeah, Mom. I'm totally fine.

I just think it was something I ate for breakfast this morning.

Something you ate? Are you sure?

Yeah. It's making me a little queasy.

You don't feel warm, but you kind of do look a little clammy. Hold on. Maybe I

have something.

Here.

Do I feel clammy?

Um, a little bit.

I think you should stay home. I don't think you should go to school. I'm sure

it's nothing.

I have to go to school, Mom.

You can't go to school sick, Allison. You're going to get everybody else sick.

Oh, Mom, I think I might die.

You're not going to die,

Allison. I'm not going to die. I'm going to throw up. Okay, you're staying. Do

not puke in my car, Allison. You're staying home.

Allison, get out of the car, please.

Allison, come on.

Works every time.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

I'm so sorry you're sick.

It's okay, Mom.

I'll be fine.

I don't think you're going to be fine. I mean, is there something I could do for

you? I don't want to leave you here like this. No, no. You need to go to work.

I'll be fine.

I didn't just marry your dad.

You know, I married you and Kimmy. You're my family. I want to take care of

you. Thanks, Mom.

It's okay. I'll be fine.

Just go to work.

I just need to rest it off. Yeah.

Just go to work. I'll be fine.

Don't worry about it.

Okay. I'm going to come back later and check on you though. Okay, sweetheart?

Okay. Don't rush.

I think I'll be fine here by myself.

Just stay in bed and get some rest, please. Okay.

See? I told you it was that easy.

Now all I gotta do is get a ride to the beach.

I'm gonna be late to work.

She left her bag. Great.

You're probably gonna need this too.

Damn it.

Jesus.

Allison! You forgot your bag!

You forgot your bag.

Oh, thanks, Mom. You can just leave it. Go ahead and get to work.

No, I can't go. How are you feeling?

I'm sure I'll be fine after I rest some.

Why don't I take some stuff out?

Just leave it out for you. No, Mom, it's okay.

Leave it on the edge of the bed. I'll get to it later.

No, Mom, it's fine. I'll be fine. Ah, stop it.

This is not your school bag.

You have sunblock and sunglasses in here.

And here, what is this? This is not like school stuff. This is beach stuff.

You're going to wear this to school? What the hell, Allison?

I'm sorry?

Have you even been going to school at all?

Yes. I can't even believe that you did this. I'm so pissed off. I mean,

seriously.

Why are you hiding?

You're seriously just going to go to the beach today.

You're full of shit.

Say something.

Can we not tell dad?

Of course I'm gonna tell dad. No, please don't tell dad.

Oh, will you expect me not to tell your dad?

What are you gonna do besides ruin my day some more?

Whatever you want. I'll do all of the house chores, do all the dishes,

anything you want.

Just please don't tell dad.

Um, that's not gonna be good enough. I'm sorry.

Anything, anything.

I'll clean the pool.

I'll go pick up all the dog poop.

I'll study for hours on end. Just please, please, please don't tell Dad.

He'll be so mad.

I don't know. I'm really disappointed in you.

Please. I don't even know how you can make it up to me. I'm going to have to

think about that one.

What's anything?

Whatever you want. Anything you want.

First thing I want you to do is get out of the damn bathing suit.

You're definitely not going to the beach.

Okay, well, don't just sit there. Come over here.

Come here. Sit here.

So what were you saying earlier about not telling your dad?

Will you please not tell him?

I think I kind of have to.

What do you want me to do?

I'll do whatever you want so that you don't tell dad.

He's going to be so mad at me.

Kiss me.

But you're my mom.

I'm not your mom. I'm your stepmom.

Do you not want me to tell your dad?

Okay.

Kiss me.

But this is, this is weird. What if dad found out?

This is not weird. Would you rather him find out that you weren't going to

school? No.

And this isn't weird at all.

Are you sure we should be doing this?

Yes, I'm sure. I don't think that dad would... Dad wouldn't appreciate this.

But it's wrong. I mean, you're my...

My dad would think it's right either, and I might get in more trouble.

I think it's just fine.

But what if he finds out?

Are you

staring at

them?

They're awfully big.

They're lonely.

I want you to suck on that.

You want me to do what?

I want you to suck on my breasts.

Okay.

Don't be so scared.

I've just never done that before.

Never?

Second and both.

Am I doing it right?

Yes, I'll tell you if you're not.

Yeah, I really don't know if Dad would appreciate this.

I don't care.

I don't

know, it just feels so wrong.

That does feel pretty good.

I guess it's okay as long as dad doesn't find out, right?

Don't ever do this again. Ever.

I won't. No. Promise?

I promise. Never ditching school.

I promise.

Okay. We'll get your ass in the shower and get ready so I can take you. Okay.

Because you're going to school now. Okay.

Yeah,

I'm going to get her off the score right now.

Okay, bye sweetheart.