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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:04,838 Douglas: So, let's see. You wanted to ease into the idea of moving in together, 2 00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:07,475 and then you put this giant crystal on my dresser? 3 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,043 Oh, it's an amethyst. Ah. 4 00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:11,312 I only have nickels and Skittles on my dresser, 5 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,081 so this is pretty cool. [ Chuckles ] 6 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,483 Why is Miggy here? 7 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,252 Because I have an open-door policy at my home. Yes. 8 00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:20,488 And I have a policy where I don't let friends 9 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:24,692 lie on my bed, junk-side down, eating tube yogurt. 10 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,828 Poppy, I don't know about this move in, girl. 11 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,330 See? This is why 12 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,898 I wanted to take it slow, Douglas. [ Door closes ] 13 00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:33,201 Moving in is a big deal. 14 00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:34,735 And plus, there's kids involved. 15 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:35,936 So we need to make sure that we're ready, 16 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,072 and right now, we can't even handle an amethyst. 17 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:41,742 Well, honey, I-I mean, with all due respect, it's huge. 18 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,344 Yeah, it's big. Mm. 19 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,680 [ Both laugh ] 20 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,749 It's so quiet without the kids here. 21 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:51,085 Gosh, imagine ten years from now -- 22 00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:54,555 we're empty nesters, kids are away at college. 23 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,424 Amy and Emma are at West Point 24 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,559 and the naval academy, respectively. 25 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,228 I mean, sure, we miss the kids, 26 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:05,133 but also, we have this entire house to ourselves. 27 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:09,237 We can do whatever we want. 28 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,404 [ Doorbell rings ] 29 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,806 Hi! Quick quesh -- 30 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,075 Poppy, do you know where Ron is? 31 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,877 I'm kind of in labor. 32 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,712 Oh, my God! I blame this on the crystal. 33 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,047 [ Groans ] 34 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,717 -- Captions by VITA -- 35 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,553 [ Blender whirs ] 36 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,589 All right, busy TV day. We should strategize. 37 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,158 The key is no bathroom breaks. 38 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,959 Sounds good. So, what are we bingeing? 39 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:34,328 "Gavel Town." It's incredible. 40 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:35,796 The pilot's bad. 41 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,765 Second episode is like a totally different show. 42 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,967 Three to five are treading water. Six sucks. 43 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,970 But the seventh episode has an amazing twist 44 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,772 that will make it all worth it. 45 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,474 A show that takes six hours to get good? 46 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,008 Yeah, I'll give it a chance. 47 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,277 And binge. 48 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,978 Now remember, the pilot's really bad. 49 00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,780 You're gonna hate it. Great. 50 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,448 In my breathing workshop, 51 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:57,084 we practiced thanking the pain. 52 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,253 [ Screams ] 53 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,589 Thank you, contraction. 54 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,291 Ooh. Here you go. Uh... 55 00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:04,325 This is just false labor. 56 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,526 I'm not due for another two weeks. 57 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:06,927 Okay, good. So let's -- 58 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,362 Well, babies aren't always born on their due date. 59 00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:09,697 I mean, Rory was a month early. 60 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:12,099 Yes, but Ron and I have a birth plan. 61 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,367 We developed it under the guidance 62 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,035 of our midwife, Tabitha Q. 63 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,204 She'll be hanging on the edge of the tub 64 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,605 when I give birth. 65 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,139 You're giving birth in a tub? 66 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:20,374 Yes. Water is very significant for me. 67 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:21,842 Okay, "The child 68 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,645 will be born listening to Stevie Wonder, 69 00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:27,147 by the light of the moon and lavender-scented candles." 70 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,450 Say what you will -- my ex-husband can draw. 71 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:30,384 Aah! Uh -- 72 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,019 Thank you, blinding pain! 73 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,987 Namaste! 74 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,356 I'm very scared of birth. 75 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:36,824 Has anyone seen my phone? 76 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:38,025 Ron's probably calling. 77 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,793 It's an Android. 78 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,495 Did I mention that I'm very scared of birth? 79 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,830 You know, let me move the mink throw. 80 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:43,897 Uh, okay, so, 81 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,366 Sharon is Ron's problem, all right? 82 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,367 Yeah. Not ours. 83 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,701 I'm gonna track him down 84 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,136 and tell him to come get his woman. 85 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:49,837 Okay, please don't leave me with her. 86 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,005 Okay. 87 00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:53,006 So... 88 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,708 Do you need... 89 00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,744 [ Door opens ] ...a pad? 90 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,879 Don't be mad. Just here for my hat. 91 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,180 Hey, Miggy! Welcome! 92 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:01,249 Yeah, be part of this! 93 00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,316 Be part of what? 94 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,084 [ Screams ] 95 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,354 Oh, dip, she's having a baby. 96 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,721 Poppy: So, I left a message for Ron. 97 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,390 Sharon, let's get you to the hospital, okay? 98 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,492 I'm not going anywhere without Ron. 99 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,561 Oh, no, you don't want to wait to get to the hospital. 100 00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,062 Trust me. 101 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,231 I learned the hard way. 102 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:19,066 It was the summer I discovered "Friends" 103 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,734 and had my barber give me The Rachel. 104 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,936 [ Video game chatter ] So I looked and felt amazing. 105 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,406 I was obsessed with my new favorite video game, 106 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,375 "Taxicab Honkers," 107 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:30,578 where you take a hot lady to the airport during rush hour. 108 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,012 Zara: Miggy! Woman: I don't have PreCheck. 109 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,847 Miggy: I knew Zara was close to her due date, 110 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,249 and it sounded important. [ Pounding on door ] 111 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:38,218 This is important! My head said, "Pause!" 112 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,753 Woman: Drive! But my heart said, "Lay on the horn. 113 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,522 This hot lady's gonna miss her flight!" [ Horn honks ] 114 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,923 [ Tires screech ] I played for 10 more minutes, 115 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,758 and we didn't make it to the hospital. 116 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:45,893 Poppy: A gas station? 117 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,395 Zara: [ Grunting ] Miggy: Push! 118 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,729 Silver lining -- 119 00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:51,465 we get free unleaded for life! 120 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:52,900 Up to 30 bucks. [ Chuckles ] 121 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,868 [ Grunting ] 122 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,937 But that night ended up being a turning point. 123 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,906 I grew up. 124 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:02,075 I gave my video games and my beanbag to my frenemy, Dwayne. 125 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,211 [ Laughs ] Yeah. Thanks, homie. 126 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,614 I said goodbye to the kid I was... 127 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:10,418 and hello to the man I am. 128 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,753 Everything changed in that 76 Station. 129 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,788 I was in charge. A leader. 130 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,257 Staff agreed I was the best of all the dads. 131 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,727 Oh, how good could you have been? What other dads? 132 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,562 The gas station is next to the hospital. 133 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:25,599 Seven babies have been born there -- "The 76 Seven" -- 134 00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:26,800 bonded by a bathroom stall 135 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,669 and parents with poor time-management skills. 136 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,804 Thank you, Miggy. You're welcome. 137 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,806 I'm not going anywhere after hearing that. 138 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,107 Maybe if I say it again, but different. 139 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,242 Nah, you're done. 140 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,610 You know what we need? 141 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,012 We need to share a positive birth story. 142 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,080 Yes. Right? 143 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,815 One that we've heard many, many times. 144 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,851 Oh, God. [ Groans ] The worst part is how 145 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,619 he pretends he doesn't want to tell it. 146 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,521 You really want to hear it? [ Groans ] 147 00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,490 I bet you guys are sick of hearing this story by now. 148 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,459 But I guess it's like my therapist always tells me -- 149 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:52,693 stop being so paranoid, Will! 150 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,261 Maybe people just love you. 151 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,763 Yeah, can you just tell it quickly, please? 152 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,030 'Cause we have four more episodes 153 00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,099 of "Gavel Town" until the big twist. 154 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,267 Ohh! Oh, most intense experience of my life. 155 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,969 I had goose bumps, yo! Ooh! It's so good! All right, guys, 156 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,871 I cannot do four more episodes, okay? 157 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:04,872 I really hate it. 158 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,306 You're supposed to hate it. 159 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,876 The twist doesn't work if you haven't suffered. 160 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,978 What? I can't like a twist? 161 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,179 Okay, can you just let him tell the story? 162 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,781 The story of Sophie's birth 163 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,950 begins as the Earth's story begins -- 164 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,719 with light. 165 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:22,322 Sophie was born in the glow of the sunset. 166 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:27,995 * Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes * 167 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:32,466 * Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear * 168 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:35,569 * Five hundred twenty-five thousand * And I, Will Cooper, 169 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,337 * Six hundred minutes caught my baby 170 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:38,372 at the precise moment 171 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,641 of the most incredible chorus 172 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,910 in musical theater history. * How do you measure, measure a year? * 173 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,177 * How about 174 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:48,148 * Love? Loooove! 175 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,817 * How about 176 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,052 * Love? Love! 177 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,854 [ Sophie crying ] 178 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,490 * Measure in love 179 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:57,491 [ Sighs ] Mia, 180 00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,092 meet your daughter. 181 00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,994 [ Sophie coos ] 182 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,696 Hi, sweetie. 183 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:07,167 ** 184 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,902 Sharon, the hospital is a place 185 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:11,171 of beauty and wonder. 186 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,540 Let us take you there. 187 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,576 Nah, I'll wait for Ron. 188 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:16,376 Ugh. 189 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,445 [ Cellphone vibrates ] 190 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:20,213 Is that my Android? Ohh! 191 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:22,082 Is it Ron? No. 192 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,217 Hey, guys, can you meet me by the wall for a group huddle? 193 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,286 Now. 194 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,055 I feel like we should've moved further away from her. 195 00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:28,922 She's, like, right there. 196 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:31,391 [ Groaning ] 197 00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,393 Ron finally texted Sharon back. 198 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:34,795 Turns out he's at the Foot Locker. 199 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:35,629 Ohh! [ Exhales sharply ] 200 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,130 Ohh... 201 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:38,632 Bring it in. 202 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,200 [ Whispering ] He's at the Foot Locker in Phoenix! 203 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,535 [ Gasps ] Oh. That's far. 204 00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,737 Yeah. So, we have to be 205 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,739 my ex-husband's new wife's emotional support system 206 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:46,807 during the birth of their first child. 207 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:47,808 Are you with me? 208 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,577 Yeah, totally. I love births. 209 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,811 [ Chuckles ] These crackers contain 210 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,145 an outrageous amount of sodium. 211 00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,213 Douglas! 212 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:53,947 [ Sharon exhales slowly ] 213 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:54,815 With you. 214 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:58,085 [ Screams ] 215 00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,220 I'm fine. 216 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,455 Everything's fine. 217 00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:02,490 [ Exhales sharply ] 218 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:08,328 It's fine, guys. I have a super-strong core. 219 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,663 I-I'll just hold the baby in. 220 00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:10,898 Ahh... 221 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,299 Okay, now that Ron's not coming, 222 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,601 the only thing standing between 223 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:14,768 Sharon giving birth in a hospital 224 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,737 and Sharon giving birth on Douglas' couch is us! 225 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,906 Do you know how hard it is to get placenta off a leather? 226 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,440 Do you? 227 00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,275 Okay, can we just scooch the huddle 228 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,911 away from Sharon? -Okay. Okay. 229 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,514 Thanks. I didn't want to say it back there, 230 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,348 but the father isn't necessary. 231 00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,850 Do you know what I was doing while Rose 232 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,652 was giving birth to the twins? 233 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:35,322 ** 234 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,990 You didn't even go in?! Your character, it's bad. 235 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,692 You were reading about boats? You're a doctor! 236 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,293 Oh, yeah, like you all are so perfect. 237 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,595 Angie burned her house down. 238 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:42,763 O-Okay, well it's different 239 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,097 with the first, though, right? 240 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,132 What about Xander? 241 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,867 It was different. 242 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:51,004 ** 243 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,172 Your hair sounded amazing. 244 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,273 How was that different? 245 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,943 The boat magazine hired a new editor. 246 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,545 The whole layout had changed. 247 00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,112 You know what? I'd like to move off this topic. 248 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,848 Ron's gonna call. I just know it. 249 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,349 Uh, has anybody seen my phone? 250 00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:03,483 It's an Android. 251 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,484 We know it's an Android! 252 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,319 Oh. Hey. Sorry. 253 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,021 [ Exhales deeply ] Sorry, sorry. 254 00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:10,457 Poppy's back. [ Chuckles ] 255 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,959 Okay, I can't keep it together. 256 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,994 Sharon needs to know that she married a goofazoid 257 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,829 who's great on the dance floor, but not in a crisis! 258 00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:16,897 I'm gonna tell her. I'm going in. 259 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:17,898 No, no, no. Red light! 260 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:18,966 She's going through a lot right now. 261 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,033 Oh, I'm sorry. 262 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,068 Have any of you had a baby with Ron? 263 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,135 He's useless! 264 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,537 Rory was born a month early, 265 00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:24,705 and the only thing Ron cared about 266 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,740 was missing the series finale of "Lost." 267 00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:29,009 And it only got more traumatic from there... 268 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,344 Rory didn't gain weight the first month, 269 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:32,913 so he stayed in the NICU. 270 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,347 I couldn't hold him. 271 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:37,084 All I could do was smile through the glass. 272 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,920 Hi. Look at him. 273 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,722 He already knows how to smize. 274 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,390 He is very cute. 275 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,158 Interesting name. 276 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,327 And that's when I saw it. 277 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,597 [ Suspenseful music plays, creature growls ] 278 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:52,265 Ron had one job -- turn in the name form. 279 00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:54,935 And he made it all about that damn "Lost" finale. 280 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,905 For six months, my son's legal name was "Smoke Monster." 281 00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,940 Sharon needs to know that Ron is not someone she can rely on. 282 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,509 Maybe then she'll let us take her to the hospital 283 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,444 before Douglas' floors are covered in afterbirth. 284 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:07,014 Okay, you had me at "afterbirth." Let's go. 285 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,682 Poppy: Sharon... 286 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:11,384 we know where Ron is. 287 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,053 The Foot Locker. In Phoenix. 288 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,287 I know. 289 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,388 I stole my Android back. 290 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,190 We've been texting. 291 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,558 This is all just -- 292 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,628 it's so frickin'... 293 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,362 sweet! Wait, what? 294 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,131 Twist. 295 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,366 So, for the birth announcement, I wanted to put the baby 296 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,401 in a really big sneaker 297 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,438 and then underneath say, "Guess Shoes Here!" 298 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,874 Oh, that's good. That's very good. 299 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,576 I told Ron I needed the biggest sneaker possible. 300 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,979 And he was like, "You need a Shaquille O'Neal shoe." 301 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,081 And I was like, "That's impossible." 302 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,816 And then, this morning, 303 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:45,886 his cousin who works at the Foot Locker called 304 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,921 and said that Shaq came in over the weekend 305 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,790 and gave him a shoe for me! 306 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:53,226 And my man went to Arizona to get it. 307 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,427 [ Exhales sharply ] 308 00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,596 And you...like that? 309 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,165 Oh, I love it. 310 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:58,999 He's a wildcard. 311 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,268 Exactly. 312 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,236 I-I mean, you don't want a wildcard 313 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,437 by your side in the hospital. 314 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,273 You'd be better off with us. 315 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,976 Rob tried to name Rory "Smoke Monster." 316 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:10,778 Is that a "Lost" reference? 317 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:11,812 Mm-hmm. 318 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,613 That's freaking awesome! 319 00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,348 Ow. Ooh. 320 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,584 Well, Sharon's crazy, so new plan. 321 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,987 [ Groans ] This is kidnapping! 322 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,621 Breathe. You all make fun of my big-ass van, 323 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,791 but who's saving the day now? Angie! 324 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,292 I can't believe Ron's gonna miss the birth. 325 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,695 I can. He is not a responsible guy. 326 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,930 You can be responsible and still miss the birth of your child. 327 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,765 Even I was there for the birth. Yeah, same. 328 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,634 I was at a healthy distance, but I was there. 329 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,969 If you're not, you're a deadbeat. 330 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,370 Angie: Yeah. Um, I am not a deadbeat! 331 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,007 All right, look, I have a confession to make. 332 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,109 The story I told you all is a lie. 333 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,210 I missed Sophie's birth. 334 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:46,513 The actual story begins not with light... 335 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:47,881 but with rain. [ Thunder rumbles ] 336 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:50,050 Will: It was the storm of the century. 337 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,020 All of Redondo Beach was looking to me for guidance. 338 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:54,354 What could I do? 339 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,489 The people were scared. 340 00:10:56,523 --> 00:11:00,393 They needed a weatherman, and I was he. 341 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:01,862 Once I issued the flood warning 342 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,396 and threw it over to Frankie D in Sports, 343 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,865 I-I rushed to the hospital. 344 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,500 But it was too late. 345 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:10,237 Meet your daughter, hero. 346 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,339 [ Sniffles ] [ Thunder rumbles ] 347 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,874 It wasn't easy, 348 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:17,745 but I knew it was the right thing to do. Yeah. 349 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,880 Um, the head is out. Oh, my God! 350 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,014 Oh! There's a baby! 351 00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:22,249 I made eye contact with it. 352 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,483 It's being born! Aah! 353 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,152 Not in my van! 354 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,419 I eat in here! 355 00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,220 [ Tires screech ] Whoa! 356 00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:28,989 -Oof! -Ohh! 357 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,023 Dear lord. 358 00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,391 Sharon: Ooh! Poppy: Wow. 359 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,392 [ Tires screech ] 360 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,861 -Ow! -Oh! 361 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,095 [ Exhales sharply ] 362 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,096 Oh, my God. 363 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,330 Miggy: My gas station. 364 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,833 Hello, old friend. 365 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:40,633 Daddy's home. 366 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:46,406 Okay, I got the stuff for Sharon's birth plan. 367 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,540 No lavender candles, but I did find lemon-scented bleach. 368 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:48,942 Cool. And it's not Stevie Wonder, 369 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:50,710 but I found a Michael Bolton CD on a random shelf somewhere. 370 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,012 Nice. The shelf is in my car. 371 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,713 It's mine. For make-outs. Okay. 372 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,882 Really, Douglas, a boating magazine? 373 00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,283 Sorry, force of habit! 374 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,684 You guys seeing this? Miggy's right. 375 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,552 He's legitimately amazing here. 376 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,855 Have we called the ambulance? It's speed dial four! 377 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,190 Steve, we need the bathroom key 378 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,392 attached to the hub cap, not the fly swatter! 379 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:08,028 And beef jerky for the mother to bite on for pain! 380 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,729 Madge, is the cot set? 381 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,198 You da freaking best, Madge! 382 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,300 Noice! I love this team! All right, let's hustle! 383 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:17,204 Guys, I might be into Miggy. 384 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,772 Oh, hey, who's with Sharon? 385 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:21,809 Oh. Go, go, go, go! 386 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,710 Sharon: [ Groaning ] 387 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,312 [ Grunts ] 388 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,613 Can you believe those dummies charged me for the cup? 389 00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:27,714 Bite that jerky! 390 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:31,218 Oh, God, what is my life?! Aah! 391 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,453 Okay, you want some scratchers? 392 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,055 [ Door closes ] A real authentic Hollywood Hat? 393 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,157 Or -- Ooh! A fake Oscar? 394 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:40,794 I'll take the Oscar. 395 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:43,964 I moved to LA to become an actress! 396 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,065 Take it away. Get -- Get -- [ Sobs ] 397 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,266 [ Grunts ] Hide it. 398 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,001 [ Exhales sharply ] 399 00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,736 I can't believe I'm alone. 400 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,639 Hey. I get it. 401 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,574 This isn't how you pictured it, right? 402 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,009 I mean, it was a little different with me 403 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:58,678 because I always knew I was gonna be having my baby alone. 404 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,780 So I decided to give birth in a place 405 00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:04,952 filled with other overweight, sweaty, lost souls... 406 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,020 Vegas, baby. 407 00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:10,690 Angie: I was nine months pregnant, and I was on a hot streak. 408 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,827 [ People cheer ] * Lady luck is at my side 409 00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:16,263 ** 410 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,265 * This hot streak can't be denied * 411 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,667 [ People cheer ] 412 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,435 * She has put me at the top 413 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,436 Ehh! 414 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,805 * May this run never stop 415 00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,707 Ah! 416 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:31,344 * Bringing wondrous riches on this crazy ride * 417 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,947 [ Cheers and applause ] 418 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,016 Hey, blue eyes. 419 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,650 I'm in labor. 420 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,386 Shh. 421 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:40,988 I'm legally required to call you an ambulance. 422 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,990 And I'm morally required 423 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,325 to roll another seven! 424 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,060 * With Lady Luck at my side 425 00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,896 Yeah! 426 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:51,398 [ Cheers and applause ] * I'll never lose 427 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:54,101 I'm gonna go have this baby, but I'll be right back! 428 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:58,671 And suddenly, I was in this hospital room in a strange city 429 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,840 with no friends or family. 430 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,976 And [Scoffs] this didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. 431 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,078 Is the father here? 432 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,581 It's just me. 433 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,918 I was truly alone. 434 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,686 Not just in Vegas or the hospital. 435 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:14,587 But in life. 436 00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:15,588 [ Screaming ] 437 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,891 Four, five. 438 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,526 [ Whimpers ] Come on, push, push, push, push. 439 00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,528 But then, an amazing thing happened. 440 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:24,731 I realized I wasn't alone. 441 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,734 He had been there with me the whole time. 442 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:30,570 And then a true miracle occurred. 443 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,172 Dealer: Brought you something. 444 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,075 Ohh. [ Chuckles ] 445 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:38,078 Oh, his first toy. 446 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,880 I also thought you would want this. 447 00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:43,183 Aww! My money! 448 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,184 Come to mama. 449 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,219 [ Chuckles ] Wow. 450 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,421 Thank you...Graham. 451 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,192 Hey, baby, you wanna be Graham? 452 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,194 [ Graham coos ] 453 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,029 Eh, you'll get used to it. 454 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,431 That craps dealer was your guardian angel. 455 00:14:58,465 --> 00:14:59,899 Let's not get carried away, okay? 456 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,935 He took a generous finder's fee. 457 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,403 But the point is... 458 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:06,139 sometimes you just gotta let your plan go 459 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:11,444 and let yourself be embraced by a random group of weirdos. 460 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,247 Let us be your weirdos, Cheryl. 461 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,882 Sharon. 462 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,384 Sharon. 463 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,886 Hand me my birth plan. 464 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,154 Yeah. Right here. Right here. 465 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:24,124 ** 466 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,492 [ Grunts ] Yay! 467 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,727 Oh! Whoo! [ Screams ] 468 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,963 Hey, ETA on that, uh, ambulance, Madge?! 469 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:32,899 [ Groaning ] 470 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,634 Douglas. Is there a doctor in the house?! 471 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:38,105 Oh, God, you were, like, one second too late. Oh. 472 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,072 All right, Poppy, you want to help me 473 00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,340 deliver this baby or what? 474 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,509 I do. 475 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,777 Sharon: Ooh. Ooh! 476 00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,346 * Any minute now 477 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,851 * My ship is coming in 478 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:55,022 [ Baby coos ] 479 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,757 * I keep checking the horizon 480 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,927 Oh, my gosh. 481 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,331 [ Sophie coos ] 482 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:09,669 * And you say, "Be still, my love" * 483 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,105 * Open up your heart 484 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,574 * Let the light shine in 485 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,280 * Don't you understand? 486 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,882 * I already have a plan 487 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,784 Finally. 488 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:29,056 * I'm waiting for my real life to begin * 489 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,558 [ Baby coos ] 490 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,661 Three children, and this is my first actual birth. Aww. 491 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,629 I can't believe that we delivered a baby. 492 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:37,730 It -- It's crazy! 493 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,499 When we're together, we... 494 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,668 We just work. 495 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,403 Douglas, I don't need to take it slow. 496 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,072 I know I want to move in with you. 497 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,306 Really? Yes! 498 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,975 Aah! [ Both laugh ] 499 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,678 Is it crazy to say I think she looks like me? 500 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:52,712 Yeah, that's insane. 501 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,514 I kind of think she looks like me! 502 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:55,915 Ron! Ron! 503 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,684 [ Laughs ] 504 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,219 It's beautiful, baby! Oh! So is she! 505 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:00,720 Ohh! 506 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,589 Oh, my God. Hi, baby. 507 00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:05,392 Mm, mm, mm, mm. Mm, mm. 508 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,527 It seems like we should go. No? 509 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,162 Yeah. Yeah. 510 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,197 Oh, I think I have a name. 511 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,531 Ooh, I have a name, too. 512 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,665 Both: Shaquelyn. 513 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,001 Ohh! [ Laughs ] What?! 514 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,169 [ Ron and Sharon smooching ] 515 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,438 So, she's just, like, a female Ron, huh? 516 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,173 Uncanny. Ron: All right, Poppy, 517 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,509 I want you, please... Aww. [ Chuckles ] 518 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,776 ...hold Shaquelyn. Oh. 519 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,345 Meet Rory's sister. 520 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,779 Congratulations, Ron. Thank you. 521 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,181 Mm-hmm. 522 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,250 Man, I can't believe I missed the birth. 523 00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:31,918 [ Chuckles ] For a shoe. 524 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,254 How am I gonna explain this to little Shaquelyn? 525 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,456 You won't! You'll lie, and you'll lie again! 526 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,725 Guys, I have another confession to make -- 527 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,960 the second story I told you is also a lie. 528 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,795 Of course it was. I missed Sophie's birth 529 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,965 for a reason I have kept hidden for nine years. 530 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,467 But I'm about to tell all of you 531 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,936 in an act of solidarity with Ron. 532 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,304 Oh, don't do this for me. 533 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:54,807 Sophie's birth story doesn't begin with light or rain. 534 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,042 It begins with a bagel. 535 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,378 Mia had been in labor for 15 hours, 536 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,614 and I was hungry, so I went to get some food. 537 00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,283 And that's when I saw him... 538 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,253 Will: Regis Philbin. Can you hear me? 539 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,121 Getting a coffee like it was nothing. 540 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,123 That's when I realized he was on the phone with... 541 00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,825 Gelman! Can you hear me? 542 00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,894 I'm gonna move around till I get a signal. 543 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,297 He has a-a magnetic pull. 544 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:20,500 I-I couldn't help it, I just drifted toward him. 545 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,470 Gelman! I've only got one bar! 546 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:24,504 Gelman! 547 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,072 And so he moved. 548 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,175 Gelman. Gelman! 549 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:29,409 And he moved. 550 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,144 I got no service! 551 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,148 What the hell is wrong with this? 552 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,917 Until he gave up. 553 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:42,955 ** 554 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,591 Hey, you. 555 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:45,858 You got a signal? 556 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,594 I'm trying to phone a friend. 557 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,196 He talked to me! 558 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:52,031 I ran to tell Mia. 559 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,201 Oh, my God, Mia, I met Regis Philbin, 560 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,335 and -- Uh-oh. You look mad. 561 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,670 You met Regis, I met our baby. 562 00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,306 Big day for both of us. 563 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,874 Did -- Did anybody tape it? 564 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,311 After that, I vowed to never miss 565 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,846 another moment of Sophie's life ever again. 566 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,115 And I haven't, except for that pumpkin contest thing, 567 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,517 and that still kills me. 568 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,651 Thanks. 569 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,386 Your story is way stupider than mine. 570 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:15,555 Sharon: Mm-hmm. I feel better now. 571 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:18,458 All right, go ahead. Make fun of me. 572 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,894 That story was... humanizing. 573 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:24,864 It's Regis. Of course you follow. 574 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,467 Yeah. No wonder you're so crazy! 575 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,536 Come here, ya big screw-up! 576 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:32,405 [ Slaps back ] 577 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:33,640 [ Shaquelyn coos ] [ Chuckles ] 578 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:40,247 ** 579 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,681 Oh, my God... 580 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,186 Do you think they'll keep it? 581 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,188 The baby? Mm-hmm. 582 00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:50,823 Yes. 583 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:55,061 Can you believe Sharon and Ron rejected my present? 584 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:58,097 Just because I found it in an empty hospital room? 585 00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,932 Ang, can we talk? I have feelings. 586 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,033 Yeah, I'm sure. 587 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,201 Watching your ex-husband have a new baby 588 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,836 must be difficult. 589 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,872 Well, no. It's -- It's not that. I'm happy for Ron. 590 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,907 It's just that when I was holding that baby, 591 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,676 I realized that I want one. 592 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:13,112 You want one, like, you want a baby one? 593 00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,382 I thought you were done. I know. so did I. 594 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,717 I don't know, something happened, something changed. 595 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,951 I can't explain it, Ang, 596 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:22,021 but I think I want a baby... with Douglas. 597 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,556 Does Douglas want a baby? 598 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,191 I don't know. I -- 599 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,559 Okay, shut up, he's coming. 600 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,595 Excuse us, Angie, but Poppy and I 601 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,797 are gonna go back to our home. 602 00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,565 [ Chuckles ] I cannot wait 603 00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:35,302 to get back to that empty nest fantasy 604 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,636 from this morning. Mm. 605 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,971 Just you and me and nothing else. 606 00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,473 The dream. 607 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,074 Right. The dream. 608 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:45,645 ** 609 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,584 Smoke Monster? Seriously, Ron? What is wrong with you? 610 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:52,952 I know it's an iconic moment in the series, 611 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,154 but this is the name of our son we're talking about! 612 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,956 A tiny human being 613 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,591 who's depending on us to make good decisions for him, 614 00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,226 and you went and gave him a two-word name, 615 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,728 one of which is monster! 616 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,062 You're pregnant? 617 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,497 With twins?! 618 00:21:04,531 --> 00:21:06,899 Ah, the Fogerty DNA. 619 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,635 You know my twin sisters, Donna and Lenore -- 620 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:09,936 may they rest in peace... 621 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,270 Yeah, uh, Rose, Rose, calm down. 622 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,473 I will not calm down! 623 00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,274 Of course you'll still look good in a thong. 624 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,410 This is LA -- they can do anything to your butt! 625 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:18,778 Oh, sorry. Excuse me. 626 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,246 All right, look, I gotta go. 627 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,781 I love you. I love you, too. 628 00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:23,883 Oh, he's doing jazz hands! 41080

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